PCW Extreme Political TV (1 Hour)
Roanoke Civic Center
Roanoke, Virginia
Saturday February 6th
Host: Johnny Suave
[Johnny Suave stands in the middle of the ring with his co-host, the ever present life-size cardboard cut-out of Shania Twain.]
Suave: “HELLO, ROANOKE!”
Crowd: “RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! PCW!…PCW!…PCW!”
Suave: “THOSE OF YOU WHO BRAVED THE SNOW, WELCOME TO P-C-W! I AM JOHNNY SUAVE. THIS HOT PIECE OF CARDBOARD IS SHANIA TWAIN! TONIGHT, PCW CHAMPION ‘THE ONE MAN HOLLYWOOD A-LIST’ STONE CHISM FACES HIS BIGGEST TEST YET IN THE JAPANESE SUPER DESTROYER YAMAMOTO TANAKA.”
————-
BACKSTAGE
[Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, and Rahm Emanuel are having an animated conversation.]
Pelosi: “There is NO way that the Tanaka-Chism match can happen, Rahm. We can’t lose the PCW Title now.”
Emanuel: “And what do you suggest I do?”
Reid: “Something. Anything? Tanaka will destroy Chism just like the Republicans under George W. Bush tried to destroy PCW.”
*flute and clarinet flourish*
[Two men come out and unroll a white carpet to the ring steps. Dancers then dance. Ballet dancers…ballet? Little children walk up the white carpet and drop rose petals. Someone lets loose some pigeons…we’re still not sure just how they’ll get out of the building. The crowd stands as PCW CEO Barack Obama appears. Behind Obama, two aides wheel out a banged up portable closet with his Aide de Camp Joe Biden inside.]
Obama: “Democrats! Tonight, PCW Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism, faces his sternest test yet. There are those who would have this match cancelled. Let me be clear. Just like I am not going to walk away from health insurance for PCW workers, I’m not going to walk away on this challenge. I’m not going to walk away on any challenge.”
Democrats: “RAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
Obama: “However, whether we like it or not, we can’t solve all of our problems alone. So we need to extend our hands to the other side — we’ve been working on it — because if we’re going to effect change, we’re going to have to change the tone. I know we’ve gone through a tough year. But we’ve gone through tougher.”
Democrats: “RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!”
Obama: “My door is always open. But I urge members of all sides: Do not oppose good ideas just because it’s good politics to do so. The proposals I’ve outlined are not Democratic or Republican, liberal or conservative. They are pro-PCW, they are pro-growth, and they are pro-job.”
Democrats: “RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!”
Obama: “So let’s go out tonight and fight the good fight. Yamamoto Tanaka is a formidable opponent. But working together, we can overcome the challenge. Thank you.”
Democrats: “RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!”
——————-
Suave: “THE PCW CEO BARACK OBAMA DELIVERS A STIRRING PEP TALK TO THE DEMOCRATS. AGAIN, TONIGHT. IT’S PCW CHAMPION STONE CHISM (Democrats) AGAINST YAMAMOTO TANAKA FOR THE PCW TITLE. LET’S GO TO THE RING FOR TONIGHT’S FIRST MATCH!”
[The lovely, legly Kimber Marshall climbs into the ring to introduce the first match.]

Kimber: “Our first match is a one fall, fifteen minute time limit. In the ring accompanied by Colonel DeBauchery, weighing in at a combined 703 pounds, the team of Al Cahall and the Drunken Luchadors- Don and Dan Martini, D.W.I!”
[The Drunken Luchadors guzzle down a bottle of Jack Daniels and then smash the empty bottles over their heads.]
Crowd: “DWI!…DWI!…DWI!…”
Suave: “Well, it’s not conventional by any stretch. But it seems to work for them.”
Kimber: “And their opponents tonight, walking up with Peta from PETA, at a combined 721 pounds, ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee, GreenPete, and PeaceNick, they are…THE GREEN…WORLD…ORDER!”
Crowd: “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
Kimber: “Your referee is Davey Keels.”
MATCH #1
Al Cahall, Drunken Luchadors Dan and Don Martini w/Colonel DeBauchery (DWI)
vs. ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee, GreenPete, and PeaceNick w/Peta from PETA (Green World Order)
MATCH SUMMARY
Lee comes from behind and bulldogs Cahall. Lee stands up. The Extreme Vegan applies an arm wrench to Cahall. Now Cahall standing. Cahall with a headscissors takeover on Lee. Cahall leg lariats Lee, sending him to the mat. The Extreme Vegan gets up. Cahall drags Lee to the floor. Cahall takes Lee down with a knee. Don Martini in the ring with GreenPete. GreenPete tries to kick him in the back of the head but misses when Don collapses in the ring. GreenPete lifts him up an holds him for a big kick from Brock Cole Lee. Cahall chokes GreenPete against the middle rope and GreenPete fires back with some punches before Dan goes to the eyes and stops the momentum.
Referee Keels manages to get the Martinis and GreenPete out of the ring since Cahall and Lee are the legal men in. Cahall gets taken down with a corkscrew armdrag and Lee transitions it into an armbar. Lee chops and then mule kicks Cahall. Lee goes for a Powerbomb but Cahall dodges. The Extreme Vegan hooks Cahall in the abdominal stretch. Don Martini in the ring and breaks the hold. Lee superkicks Don. Cahall hits Lee with the back of his elbow. Cahall executes a headlock takedown but Lee hits a kneeling headbutt to Cahall’s groin. The Extreme Vegan goes for a pin. Davey Keels counts…1 …2 Cahall kicks out.
Lee tags in GreenPete. Cahall tags in Don Martini. Don tries a HUGE splash on GreenPete and misses badly, nearly bouncing all the way up to the roof. GreenPete Irish whips Don into the corner. Martini faceplants and then takes another pair of kicks to the back of the head. GreenPete goes to the gut, but Don goes to the eyes and tags Dan in. Dan hits the ropes awkwardly, GreenPete catches him and drops him with a BIG-TIME URANAGE!! GreenPete hits the hot tag to Lee and he cleans house, dropping Don Martini and Al Cahall off the apron before sending Dan to the mat with a big reverse elbow and a spinning neckbreaker off the ropes. Cover for two before Colonel DeBauchery breaks it up. Don in, misses Lee, and splashes Dan before getting taken down with a shoulderblock from the Extreme Vegan. Dan gets taken down with a clothesline and Lee tries for a cover. Again, Colonel DeBauchery breaks it up. DeBauchery hits a big bodyslam and heads up to the top rope as the crowd chants for DWI. Lee cuts him off and GreenPete joins in for a double-super powerslam.
Dan tags in Cahall again. Cahall knees The Extreme Vegan and rolls back to his feet. Cahall climbs to the top of the turnbuckle and hits the diving headbutt on Lee. GreenPete in and tries for a power move but is unable to lift Cahall. GreenPete opens up the chair…Cahall is thrown into the ropes…Drop Toe Hold onto the open chair! GreenPete sucks chants start in the crowd. Cahall leg drops Lee. Cahall chants start. Lee gets up. Cahall knifehand chops The Extreme Vegan. Cahall lifts Lee…Southern Comfort! Cahall makes the cover with a reverse cradle. The ref starts the count. …1 …2 …3
WINNER: Al Cahall, The Drunken Luchadors Dan and Don Martini aka…D.W.I.
Post match, The God Squad (Rev. Falwell, Rev. Robertson, and Rev. Warren) make their return to PCW and attack DWI. Jack and Bull Schett of Ron Paul’s New Libertarian Army make the save and chase the God Squad and the GWO away.
——————–
Missouri Valley Wrestling Association
MVWA 20 PREVIEW:
The Pinups (Sabrina James and Alicia Rowe) continue their drive up the MVW Tag Team ladder as they meet Caroline Kelly and Amy Mason in tag team action.
Katie Collins meets MVW Television Champion ‘The Manchester Masterpiece’ Brooke Evans for the title.
The Phenomenon Known As Jill-Berg meets Big Skye.
MVW Champion Miss USA defends her title against Corrina Romanov
Also:
More Angels of Death/Miss USA conflict
The battle between Dame Judith Carmondy and ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin comes to a head.
All this and more Sunday night on MVWA 20 on HOTv.
—————–
PCW RANKINGS
PCW WORLD CHAMPION: ‘Hollywood A-Lister’ Stone Chism (Progressive Alliance)
PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION: SNAFU (American Heartland Coalition)
PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido and ’American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (American Heartland Coalition)
SINGLES CONTENDERS:
#1- Khalid-El (Axis of Evil)
#2- Kevin Scott (American Heartland Coalition)
#3- Bird ‘The Mark’ Ridfych (Independent)
#4- Newt Tron Bomb (American Patriots)
#5- American Trucker (American Heartland Coalition)
#6- ‘The King of Old School Gimmicks’ Baron Von Munchke (Old School Kings)
TAG TEAM CONTENDERS:
#1- Big Oil and Big Electric (Public Utilities)
#2- A. Tom Bomb and Hy Drogen Bomb (American Patriots)
#3- The Goatbusters (Island of Misfit Wrestlers)
#4- Jack and Bull Schett (Ron Paul’s New Libertarian Army)
#5- Midnite Rockin’ Xpress- Bobby Ricky Michaels/Marty Gibson-Lane (Old School Kings)
#6- Raving Rednecks Locke and Loade (American Patriots)
——————
Suave: “We’re back on PCW Extreme Political TV. I’m told that the Green World Order and The God Squad will have a statement to make after this upcoming match. Let’s go back to the ring and Kimber Marshall.”
MATCH #2 for the PCW Television Title
The American Trucker w/Tequila Sheila (American Heartland Coalition) vs. SNAFU w/Dawn McGill (c) (American Heartland Coalition)
[Kimber stands ready to go.]
Kimber: “This next match is for the PCW Television Title. Introducing first, the challenger. Accompanied to the ring by Tequila Sheila, a member of the American Heartland Coalition, he weighs in at at 225 pounds, from Gary, Indiana, he is THE…AMERICAN…TRUCKER!”
Crowd: “RAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!”
*’Eastbound and Down’ by Jerry Reed begins to play*
East bound and down, loaded up and truckin’,
we’re gonna do what they say can’t be done.
We’ve got a long way to go and a short time to get there.
I’m east bound, just watch ol’ “Bandit” run.
Keep your foot hard on the pedal.
Son, never mind them brakes.
Let it all hang out ’cause we got a run to make.
The boys are thirsty in Atlanta
and there’s beer in Texarcana.
And we’ll bring it back no matter what it takes.
East bound and down, loaded up and truckin’,
we’re gonna do what they say can’t be done.
We’ve got a long way to go and a short time to get there.
I’m east bound, just watch ol’ “Bandit” run.
Kimber: “His opponent is also a member of the American Heartland Coalition. Weighing in at 225 pounds, from Norway, Maine, he is accompanied by Dawn McGill and is PCW Television Champion- SNAFU!!!”
Crowd: “RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!”
Suave: “Well, a battle of two wrestlers from the same coalition. It’ll be interesting to see what happens…”
Crowd: “SARAH PALIN (clap clap clap-clap-clap)…SARAH PALIN (clap clap clap-clap-clap)
Suave: “WAIT A MINUTE! IT’S THE ALASKAN PITBULL SARAH PALIN!”
[Palin appears at the back and begins to walk towards the ring.]
Palin: “Hold it! Hold it! Don’t you see what’s happening here?”
Suave: “I see a Television Title match about to take place. I’m not sure what Ms. Palin sees.”
Palin: “The entrenched elite wants this match so they can stop the momentum that began when Scott Brown was elected. If Scott Brown is any indication, it’s running out of time. It’s a ground-up call to action that is forcing both parties to change the way they do business, and that’s beautiful.”
[Both SNAFU and American Trucker look confused.]
Palin: “America is ready for another revolution, and you are all a part of this.”
[Dawn McGill takes the microphone.]
McGill: “Ms. Palin. Tonight’s match is about two worthy opponents who want to win this belt…”
[McGill holds up the Television Title belt.]
McGill: “Why should we give the Republicans or Democrats the satisfaction that they think they can divide the American Heartland Coalition? SNAFU and American Trucker were friends before tonight and will be friends no matter who wins this match tonight.”
Crowd: “RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!”
Palin: “Then, let’s get it on!”
[The bell sounds.]
Suave: “HERE WE GO!”
MATCH SUMMARY
SNAFU and AT shake hands and then lock up in the middle and then start throwing haymakers. Trucker gets the advantage. The Trucker mule kicks SNAFU across the ring and goes for the quick win. The ref starts the count. …1 SNAFU kicks out. Tequila Sheila slides in a table. AT inverted DDT’s SNAFU thru it! AT pulls him back up and sends SNAFU to the corner of the ring. AT pokes SNAFU in the eyes and hits a ropeflip hiptoss. McGill slides SNAFU a chair. SNAFU grabs the chair…and smashes The Trucker over the head with it! AT is hurt!! SNAFU slaps on the Boston crab to American Trucker. He breaks the hold and drags AT to the floor. SNAFU swings a Steel chair and hits AT. AT is busted open as a result. AT rakes the face of SNAFU. SNAFU bulldog’s The Trucker through a ringside table!
McGill piledrives Tequila Sheila and then sends The Trucker to the corner of the ring. AT charges right back out and tries to lariat McGill. She ducks and the Trucker clobbers referee Davey Keels instead. He’s down. McGill checks on the referee. American Trucker picks SNAFU up in a fireman’s carry and flapjacks him. He follows with the Super DDT and then the Jake Brake. AT covers but a problem- no referee. Sarah Palin slides into the ring and counts the pin. …1 …2 …3.
WINNER AND NEW PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION: The American Trucker
Suave: “UNBELIEVABLE! THE REFEREE GOT KNOCKED OUT AND THE ALASKAN PITBULL SARAH PALIN MAKES THE PINFALL! WE’VE GOT A NEW PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION!”
[AT and Tequila Sheila celebrate. SNAFU gets up and grudgingly shakes the Trucker's hand.]
—————
BACKSTAGE
[A banner on the wall reads Green World Order. 'Extreme Vegan' Brock Cole Lee is standing in front of it.]
Lee: “D.W.I. The GWO does not approve of you or your message and will do everything in our power to rid PCW of you. You are a poor influence on the masses who are unelightened and thus attracted to your message.”
[Peta from PETA joins him.]
Peta: “I comp-”
[Colonel DeBauchery and the Drunken Luchadors butt in.]
Colonel DeBauchery: “Your reputation says you both have something wrong with your brain. People call me crazy? All I want is my 100 labels from killing brewskis. You people want to run everyone’s lives.”
[The Drunken Luchadors nod in agreement.]
Lee: “We want to save people who don’t know better from themselves, DeBauchery. Including you.”
Colonel DeBauchery: “Well, I think power should be limited to those that are not in love with it. That should eliminate a good chunk of people.”
Lee: “Why you-”
[Lee takes a step forward.]
Colonel DeBauchery: “Uh, uh, uh. I think you’d better hear us out. We will be cruel to those who try to control the lives of others because…’they know better. And through our cruelty they will know who we are. And they will find the evidence of our cruelty in the buffoons, mocked, and scorned psyches we leave behind us. And people like you will be sickened by us, and will talk about us, and will fear us.”
[DeBauchery and the Drunken Luchadors leave.]
———————
Upcoming PCW Events:
Sunday February 7th @ Beckley, VWA- Raleigh County Convention Center
Monday February 8th @ Portsmouth, OH- Elks City Lodge
Saturday February 13th @ Wauseon, OH- Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon
Sunday February 14th @ Toledo, OH- Lucas County Arena
Monday February 15th @ Cleveland, OH- Agora Theater
Saturday February 20th @ Crawfordsville, IN- Skate Corral
Sunday February 21st @ Effingham, IL- Effingham H.S.
Monday February 22nd @ Danville, IL- David S. Palmer Arena
—————————–
A Pay Per View Sized 3 Hour Event for FREE!
Muru vs. Chris Jamez
Slaughter Television Championship
Mike Polowy vs. Talon
Travis Williams Special Referee
Cancer Jiles vs.Cobra
WWA World Title Match
25 MAN DREAM MINI RUMBLE
Over the top Rope DWF DREAM Championship Match
Adrien Cochrane, B.R. Ellis, Bishop Steele, Casey Pierro-Zabotel, Castor Strong, Charlie Blackwell, Chris Bladez, Clarence Williams, Dark, Doozer, Locke Helms, Chris Jamez, Jared Borchard, Jimmy Riley, Johnny Legend, Klash, Mike Polowy, Michael Byrd, Muru, Ozric Mortimer, Psymon, Sabin Richards, Talon, Terry Spruhen, The Masked Dollar
—————————–
Suave: “And we’re back. Colonel DeBauchery and D.W.I. make a strong statement to the GWO and I know we haven’t heard the last of this. Big Oil. Big Electric. AKA Public Utilities. They meet A-Bomb and H-Bomb for a shot at the PCW Tag Team Title. Let’ s go back to the ring.”
MATCH #3
Public Utilities: Big Oil and Big Electric w/Texas Tex vs.
A-Bomb and H-Bomb w/General R.C. Patton (Republicans)
MATCH SUMMARY
(ring, ring, ring) H-Bomb and Big Electric to start. H-Bomb with the whip into the ropes. H-Bomb clotheslines Big Electric. H-Bomb brings in A-Bomb. H-Bomb gives Big Electric the cobra clutch suplex onto the mat. Powerslam on the chair by H-Bomb! Big Electric is hurting badly!!! A-Bomb punches Big Electric repeatedly. Big Electric applies an arm wrench to A-Bomb. A-Bomb tags in H-Bomb. Big Electric gets taken down with an armdrag takedown. H-Bomb tags A-Bomb. A-Bomb gets up. A-Bomb moonsaults from the top rope sending Big Electric thru a table! A-Bomb moves back to his feet. Now Big Electric standing. A-Bomb and Big Electric go to the floor. A-Bomb throws Big Electric the chair..A-Bomb goes up top..A-Bomb dropkicks the chair into his face! A-Bomb climbs to his feet. A-Bomb applies an arm wrench to Big Electric. Big Electric gets back to his feet. A-Bomb German suplexes Big Electric thru a table! Big Electric responds with a headscissors takeover on A-Bomb. Big Electric and A-Bomb move back into the ring. Big Electric knees A-Bomb and rolls back to his feet. Big Electric tags in Big Oil. They lockup. Big Oil sends A-Bomb to the corner of the ring. They lockup. Big Oil sends A-Bomb to the corner of the ring. Big Oil piledrives A-Bomb. ]
Big Oil gets up. They lockup. Big Oil sends A-Bomb to the corner of the ring. Big Oil hits A-Bomb with the belly-to-belly suplex. A-Bomb climbs to his feet. Big Oil sends A-Bomb to ringside. Big Oil knocks A-Bomb into Davey Keels taking out the referee. Big Oil bounces A-Bomb off the ropes and clotheslines him. Big Oil sucks chants start in the crowd. A-Bomb moves back to his feet. Big Oil scoops A-Bomb up and slams him back down onto the chair!!! A-Bomb is up again. Big Oil takes A-Bomb into the ring. Big Oil does a nice DDT on A-Bomb. Big Oil moves back to his feet. A-Bomb stands up. Big Oil lifts A-Bomb up and drops him on the chair!! A-Bomb gets back to his feet. Big Oil hooks A-Bomb into a suplex position. Hooks his leg. Fisherman Suplex on the chair!! Oklahoma Driller! Big Oil Oklahoma Drillers A-Bomb onto the mat. A-Bomb is out cold! Davey Keels counts the pin. …1 …2 …3 ]
WINNER: Public Utilities
———————–
- Kirsta Lewis v Justin Decent
- The referee for this match is Matt Boettcher, and the rules are Invitational Match.
- Christopher America© v Erites Kallisten
- The referee for this match is Joel Hortega, and the rules are Invitational Match.
- The Maurako Family v Alpha Beta Slam
- The referee for this match is Matt Boettcher, and the rules are Invitational Match.
- MPlow v Mark “The Explosive” O’Neal
- The referee for this match is Mystery Ref, and the rules are Invitational Match.
- Bobbinette “Queen B” Carey v Aceldama©
- The referee for this match is Matt Boettcher, and the rules are Standard Match.
- High Octane Championship
————————–
Suave: “In one month, PCW and Missouri Valley Wrestling hold their next joint pay per view show- Weapons of Mass (Political) Destruction. In the next three weeks, the card for the show will take shape. With the 5th anniversary celebration and the first class of PCW Hall of Famers to be inducted, will PCW/MVW Weapons of Mass (Political) Destruction be a special event? Does Charlie Daniels play a mean fiddle?”
Suave: “HELL, YES!”
———————-
BACKSTAGE
[Nancy Pelosi paces back and forth while Harry Reid ponders the options.]
Pelosi: “Harry, what are we going to do?”
Harry: “I talked with Rahm Emanuel. He says not to worry.”
Pelosi: “I wish it was that simple.”
———————
MATCH #4 for the PCW Title
Yamamoto Tanaka w/Jill-Berg (Independent) vs.
‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (c) (Democrats)
Suave: “TANAKA OUT AND HE’S READY TO GO!” THE PARAMEDICS ARE ALSO READY WITH THE DEFIBRILLATORS IN THE EVENT CHISM GETS HIT WITH THE JAPANESE SUPER-DESTROYER!”
[Tanaka, with Jill-Berg, hops up and down inside the ring, getting warmed up. Kimber Marshall climbs into the ring.]
Kimber: “Ladies and gentlemen! This match is for the PCW Title! From Nagano, Japan, accompanied by Jill Berg, he weighs in at 350 pounds, YAMAMOTO…TANAKA!”
Crowd: “RAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!”
Kimber: “And his opponent, weighing in at 225 pounds, from Malibu, California, he wrestles for the Democrats and is the PCW Champion! ‘THE ONE…MAN…HOLLYWOOD A-LIST! STONE…CHISM!”
Crowd: “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
[Chism is assisted into the ring by his valets, the Skanky Rich Bimbos- Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan.]
Suave: “Chism has been the PCW Champion since August 23rd of 2009. Tonight, he has a big challenge here in the Japanese Super Destroyer.”
[The bell sounds.]
MATCH SUMMARY
Chism hits Tanaka with a Baba chop. Tanaka simply shakes it off and slaps on a chokehold on Chism.
Chism stands up. Chism hits a koppo kick on Tanaka.Chism with the shooting star press. Chism covers. The ref starts the count. …Tanaka kicks out. Tanaka stands up. Chism hits him with a back fist. Chism hits Tanaka with the back of his elbow. Chism chops Tanaka. Tanaka choke slams Chism! Jill Berg in the ring. She hits a spinning heel kick on Chism. Berg slides a table in and Tanaka sets it up. Tanaka does a running powerslam putting Chism thru the table! Tanaka superplexes Chism from the top rope through a table! Tanaka climbs to the top rope and executes a Shooting Star Press putting Chism thru a table! Tanaka drags Chism to the floor. They fight into the aisle. Tanaka climbs up to the top rope and splashes Chism thru a table! Tanaka chokes Chism with his boot.
Tanaka kicks Chism in the groin. Berg sets up a table in the ring. Tanaka blasts Chism through it with a facebuster. Tanaka for the title…1…2…the referee gets pulled out of the ring.
Suave: “IT’S RAHM EMANUEL. HE PULLED THE REFEREE OUT OF THE RING! F-BOMB! F-BOMB! EMANUEL JUST DROPPED AN F-BOMB ON THE REFEREE. TANAKA HAS HAD CHISM PINNED FOR OVER 10 SECONDS!”
[Tanaka stands up and glares at Emanuel. Emanuel is confronted by Jill-Berg and her bodyguards.]
Berg: “What the **** was that all about?”
Emanuel: “If you think that I’m going to let you walk in here and take the PCW Title away from us, you must be retarded.”
Berg: “WHAT?”
Suave: “BERG’S PISSED. EMANUEL GOES FOR THE F-BOMB! HE MISSES. SPINNING CRESCENT KICK BY JILL-BERG!”
[Emanuel is down.]
Crowd: “RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!”
Suave: “WHAT? IT’S THE ALASKAN PITBULL SARAH PALIN!”
[Palin to the ring. Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid also run down with Charlie Ranck and Pete Fyle. Ranck and Fyle pull Chism from the ring and start taking him to the back. The Skanky Rich Bimbos follow. Tanaka, now enraged, gives chase. Chism regains his bearings and throws the SRB in front of Tanaka and sprints to the back with Ranck and Fyle and Pelosi and Reid.]
Suave: “Not good…not good at all for the SRB.”
[Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan whip off their tops.]
Suave: “WARDROBE MALFUNCTION! WARDROBE MALFUNCTION!”
[Tanaka swipes at Hilton and Lohan and knocks both of them out of his way. He takes another two steps forward and then hears Berg screaming at him to get back in the ring. Palin is counting both men out. Tanaka steps over Hilton and barely beats the count.]
WINNER BY COUNTOUT: Yamamoto Tanaka
Suave: “TANAKA GETS THE WIN; BUT CHISM KEEPS THE PCW TITLE! THAT’S IT FOR THIS WEEK. REMEMBER ONE MONTH TO PCW/MVW WEAPONS OF MASS POLITICAL DESTRUCTION!”
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