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7/8-PCW Extreme Political TV: Past Matches

FROM: 1/27-PCW Extreme Political TV: Rush Limbaugh Challenges PCW CEO Barack Obama, Politically Incorrect vs. The Angry Left Wing Bloggers

Johnny Suave stands in the ring with his life-sized cardboard cut-out of Shania Twain. Crowd: “PCW!…PCW!…PCW! Suave: “Tonight, we are live from the Alhambra Arena in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania…the old ECW Arena. Only for one night only, we’re going to call it the…P-C-W Arena!” Crowd: “PCW!…PCW!…PCW!” Suave: “I am Johnny Suave, the voice of PCW. This hot piece of cardboard is the one and only Shania Twain…

…Tonight, we’re embarking on the most ambitious tour Political Championship Wrestling has ever done. We are hitting all the former ECW haunts in the East and Midwest as PCW leads up to March 8th at the Hammerstein Ballroom in New York City. That’s right, PCW’s Weapons of Mass Political Destruction pay per view will be held at the Madhouse of Extreme!” Crowd: “PCW!…PCW!…PCW!” Suave: Tonight, we’ve got-”

*“WITH TALENT ON LOAN FROM GOD!”*

The crowd immediately boos as ‘The Innovator of Extreme Broadcast Excellence’ Rush Limbaugh and the “Queen of Political Extreme” Ann Coulter appear in the spotlight and both begin to walk towards the ring. Suave: “Well, this is not a surprise. Limbaugh has been sparring publicly with the new PCW CEO Barack Obama in the news the last week. And I know Ann Coulter is never for a loss of words.” Crowd: “OX-Y CONT-TIN! (clap clap clap-clap-clap) OX-Y CONT-TIN! (clap clap clap-clap-clap)…” Limbaugh joins Suave in the ring. Rush: “That’s right. It is I…” Crowd: “WHO?” Rush: “…El Rushbo…” Crowd: “WHO?” Rush: “…The Maharushbie…” Crowd: “WHO?” Rush: “…With talent on loan from-” Crowd: “ROB!” Limbaugh pauses. Rush: “GOD!” Suave: “What can I do for you, Mr. Limbaugh?” Rush: “We’re both here tonight to say…we told you so. That’s right. It’s taken less than a week for the new PCW CEO Barack Hussein Obama to show his true colors. I don’t care what anybody else thinks. I…WANT…OBAMA…TO…FAIL. Period. I hope he fails.” More boos. Ann Coulter nods in agreement. Ann: “We don’t need socialism in PCW.” Crowd: “She’s a crack whore…(clap clap clap-clap-clap) She’s a crack whore…(clap clap clap-clap-clap) Suave: “Okay, that’s just not nice to say. Besides, it’s an insult to crack whores.” Coulter ignores the chants. Ann: “That’s what the Progressive Alliance want.” Suave: “Crack whores?” Ann: “No! Socialism. Obama wants socialism. The Progressive Alliance wants socialism.”

“Straight Shooting Maverick” John McCain comes out. John: “Rush. Ann. My friends. Look, the American Patriots can’t be obstructionist. We need to work together with CEO Obama as much as possible but still stand on principle when we need to.” Rush: “John. You’ve singlehandedly destroyed the American Patriots.” Yet more boos. Rush: “Remember both Ann and I said last year that you running for the PCW CEO for the American Patriots would destroy us. We were right. Look what’s happened to the American Patriots. Who’s left? Starz N. Stripes is gone. The Raving Rednecks Locke and Loade- they’re gone. Who’s leading the ship? Who’s in charge? No one. The American Patriots are dead in the water and it’s all YOUR fault. Had the American Patriots listened to me, El Rushbo, with talent on loan from-” Crowd: “BOB!” Rush: “GOD…you idiots. GOD! Had the AP listened to me, they wouldn’t be in this predicament right now.”

*flute and clarinet flourish*

Two men come out and unroll a white carpet to the ring steps. Dancers then dance. Ballet dancers…ballet? Little children walk up the white carpet and drop rose petals. Someone lets loose some pigeons…we’re still not sure just how they’ll get out of the building. The crowd stands and lets out a loud ovation as PCW CEO Barack Obama appears with his Aide de Camp Joe Biden by his side. Obama goes to the ring to join the conversation. Barack: “Rush, I just have two words for you……I won.” The crowd stands and cheers. Rush is not amused. Barack: “The American Patriots have a choice to make. Will they follow Rush Limbaugh, travel down the road into irrelevance, and we’ll never get anything done? Or will they follow the lead of John McCain?” Rush: “What? Is this the great unifier? The one who’s going to unify everyone and usher in a new era of bipartisanship and love? What’s clear here, Mr. Obama, is that YOU are afraid of ME. You are clearly more frightened of me, El Rushbo, with talent on loan from-” Crowd: “MOM!” Rush: “SHUT UP! IT’S GOD YOU IDIOTS…GOD, GOD, GOD! *clears throat* Now, as I was saying in a manner that only I, with my years of broadcast excellence, can say, you are more frightened of me then you are of Mitch McConnell and John Boehner- and they sit on the PCW Competition Committee.” Obama smiles. Barack: “All right, Rush. Tell you what. You bring your best wrestler to the ring. I’ll bring the PCW Champion O’Beck Bahama to the ring. And we’ll settle this there. You tell me by the end of the night who you want in the ring and we’ll do this next week on PCW Extreme Political TV.”

Suave: “THERE IT IS! NEXT WEEK, PCW CHAMPION O’BECK BAHAMA WILL DEFEND HIS TITLE AGAINST AN OPPONENT OF RUSH LIMBAUGH’S CHOOSING! WHO WILL IT BE?”

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2008 PCW AWARDS

PCW Wrestler of the Year: ‘The Original Rookie Sensation’ Starz N. Stripes (Kevin Scott)

PCW Women’s Wrestler of the Year: ‘PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin

PCW Tag Team of the Year: Jack Schett and Bull Schett

PCW Newcomer of the Year: “The New Rookie Sensation’ O’Beck Bahama

PCW Women’s Newcomer of the Year: Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen

PCW Manager of the Year: ‘The Natural’ Barack Obama (O’Beck Bahama)

Most Improved Wrestler: FUBAR (now Dave the Mechanic)

Match of the Year: ‘The Original Rookie Sensation’ Starz N. Stripes (American Patriots) defends the PCW Title against ‘The New Rookie Sensation’ O’Beck Bahama- PCW Extreme Election Night 2008- 11/4/08

Show of the Year: PCW Extreme Election Night 2008- 11/4/08

Feud of the Year: Al Franken (Progressive Alliance) vs. Norm Coleman (American Patriots)

Faction of the Year: Domination Inc.

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From our good friends at High Octane Wrestling:

WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
Issac Slade vs. Aceldama©

ICON CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
Maximillian Kael vs. Shane Reynolds©

LSD CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
Chris Kostoff or Christopher America vs. David Black©

HALL OF FAME RESPECT IS EARNED MATCH
Mark O’Neal vs. Darkwing

BOBBINETTE CAREY AS SPECIAL REFEREE MATCH
Kirsta Lewis vs. Scottywood vs. Chris Kostoff

FINAL ENCOUNTER
Trip Eisen vs. Trent©

The Match Only a Mother Could Love
Bob Jared vs. Embosser

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From 4/7-PCW Extreme Political TV- “PCW Night of Champions”:
MATCH #4 for the PCW Women’s Title
KATHRYN RANDALL COLLINS (Progressive Alliance)
vs. ‘PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ TESSA MARTIN (c) (Joe SixPacks)
Suave: “KRC gets her first shot at the PCW Women’s title since she lost it last month. Let’s see how Tessa handles this.” The bell rings. Suave: “KRC comes right out and Tessa slips aside. Single leg takedown by the Women’s champion into an armbar. KRC powers out and they break. Lock up in the middle of the ring. KRC gets the advantage, spins Tessa, atomic drop!” Average Joe, American Trucker, Tequila Sheila, and the Raving Rednecks Locke and Loade of Joe SixPacks watch intently from Tessa’s corner. Suave: “Irish whip by KRC. SHE HEAVES TESSA OVER THE TOP ROPE!” Tessa tumbles into the guardrail after hitting the floor. Suave: “KRC…LEAPS OVER THE TOP ROPE AND SPEARS TESSA!” A ‘PCW!…PCW!’ chant breaks out. KRC picks up a chair. *CLANG* Suave: “YOW! CHAIRSHOT SENDS TESSA BACK TO THE FLOOR!” In KRC’s corner, Hillary Clinton and her Political Pitbulls, James Carville and Paul Begala, look on approvingly.

KRC sets up a table. Suave: “OH, OH. This does not bode well for the Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl. KRC gets her up…Tessa flips through. Standing dropkick drives KRC into the guardrail.” Tessa runs and goes for the splash. Suave: “NO! KRC GETS OUT OF THE WAY AND TESSA HITS THE STEEL HARD. KRC TURNS HER OVER AND LAYS HER OVER THE GUARDRAIL. SHE CLIMBS UP ON THE GUARDRAIL…HOLY CRAP! GUILLOTINE LEG DROP! THAT NEARLY CUT HER IN HALF!” Tessa does a complete somersault and lands in the first row. Crowd: “PCW!…PCW!…PCW!” KRC wades into the crowd and drags Tessa to her feet. Suave: “Tessa swings but she’s hitting nothing but air. KRC throws her over the guardrail. Now she’s draping her over the table. KRC to the top rope….” She leaps. Tessa rolls off the table. KRC crashes right through. Suave: “HOLY CRAP!” KRC lies in the remains of the table looking straight up to the ceiling. Suave: “KRC’s dazed. An opportunity for the Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl to get back in the match. She pulls KRC up…and whips her into the ringpost.” KRC staggers backwards. Tessa rolls her back into the ring.

Suave: “Irish whip into the ropes. WAIT A MINUTE! BEGALA AND CARVILLE HAVE A HOLD OF TESSA’S LEGS!” Begala and Carville pull her legs out from under her and drag her out of the ring. Suave: “TESSA HAD KRC SET UP FOR THE PIZZA CUTTER AND THE CLINTON POLITICAL PITBULLS INTERFERE.” Average Joe, American Trucker, and the Raving Rednecks Locke and Loade run over and attack the Political Pitbulls. Suave: “Tessa trying to climb back in the ring…AND HERE COMES RAHM-BO! IT’S RAHM EMANUEL!” Emanuel F-Bombs Average Joe. F-Bomb to American Trucker. F-Bomb to Locke. F-Bomb to Loade. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! RAHM EMANUEL IS DROPPING F-BOMBS EVERYWHERE! HE’S IN THE RING!” Tessa sees him and backs up. KRC is still down on the canvas. Rahm goes for the F-Bomb. Emanuel: “AIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!” Suave: “TESTICULAR CLAW! TESSA’S GOT IT IN GOOD AND RAHM EMANUEL IS IN A WORLD OF HURT RIGHT NOW!” Emanuel’s face turns bright red. Suave: “PIZZA CUTTER! EMANUEL EATS A PIZZA CUTTER BY THE EXTREME PIZZA DELIVERY GIRL! KRC’S UP!”

Tessa doesn’t see KRC behind her. KRC rushes her. Suave: “TEQUILA SHEILA ON THE RING APRON!” Tessa ducks at the last moment and Tequila Sheila piefaces KRC with Tessa’s oversized pizza box (with road sign inside). Suave: “KRC IS STAGGERED. TESSA…PIZZA CUTTER! PIZZA CUTTER! COVER. ONE. TWO. THREE!” The crowd roars.

WINNER AND STILL PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION: ‘PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ TESSA MARTIN

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FROM: 3/8-PCW Weapons of Mass Political Destruction
MATCH #7 FOR THE PCW TITLE:
O’BECK BAHAMA w/ ‘Not Just Intolerable, Not Just Unbearable, He is’ Justin Sufferable © (Progressive Alliance)
vs. QUADRUPLE R w/Domination Inc. (Domination Inc.)
Suave: “HOLD ON TO YOUR HATS…HERE WE GO.” The bell ring. Both men come out cautiously. Lock up in the middle of the ring. Both men push back and forth. Bahama forces Quad R into the ropes. Chops by Bahama. Quad R switches places and lays the chops on Bahama. Inverted atomic drop by Bahama. Quick cover. 1…2…Quad R kicks out. Vertical Suplex by Bahama. Another cover. 1…Quad R again kicks out. Bahama charges for a lariat. Quad R ducks and hits a German Suplex. Twisting neckbreaker. Quad R covers. 1…Bahama kicks out. Bahama is a half step behind and Quad R catches him with an arm drag takedown. Bahama powers up and goes for another lariat. Quad R counters to a powerbomb and covers. 1…2…Bahama gets the shoulder up. Quad R slaps Bahama around, trash-talking him. Bahama whips him into the ropes but Quad R responds with the THESZ PRESS! Bahama goes to the floor for a time out. Quad R hits the somersault plancha. Crowd: “PCW!…PCW!…PCW!” Back in, Quad R hits a sunset bomb. ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! Bahama takes it to the floor and sandwiches Quad R in between the barricade and the table. Bahama up on the ring apron. He goes for a splash. Quad R moves and Bahama hits the barricade hard. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! The champion seems a little sluggish tonight and Quad R is keeping his cool so far- CRADLE PILEDRIVER ON THE FLOOR BY QUADRUPLE R! ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! BAHAMA GOT HIS SHOULDER UP JUST IN TIME.” Bahama desperately goes for a lariat, but again Quad R beats him to it. ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! Again, Bahama gets the shoulder up. Mr. McMann claps his hands and shouts encouragement to Quadruple R.

Suave: “So far, so good for Quadruple R. He’s kept his cool. And Bahama may need to shake off more ring rust than he thought he had.” Back in the ring, Quad R rips off the turnbuckle pads. He whips Bahama in and the champ backflips over the turnbuckle a la Ric Flair. Quad R hits a flying clothesline and sends Bahama flying off the ring apron. Quad R Stampede dropkicks Bahama and hits a lightning legline. Cover. 1…2…Kick out. Quad R comes back with the Ricolabomb on the floor. Cover. 1…2…Bahama kicks out at two. Quad R rocks Bahama with uppercuts and then strangles him with the tag rope. Bahama hulks up and powers out. Quad R hits another Ricolabomb. ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! Quad R gives the first indication of frustration as he glares at the ref. He pulls Bahama up again and Quadrupleplexs the champ. Cover. 1…2…NO! Again, Bahama kicks out. Irish whip by Quad R. Suave: “SLEEPER! QUAD R HAS A SLEEPER LOCKED IN!” Quad R has Bahama dead center in the ring. Suave: “HE’S STARTING TO FADE. QUAD R IS HANGING ON FOR DEAR LIFE. HE MAY BE MERE SECONDS AWAY FROM BECOMING THE PCW CHAMPION!” Bahama stumbles a step forward and falls to one knee. Then he topples forward. Suave: “THAT’S IT! NO! BAHAMA HAS HIS HAND ON THE ROPES! BUT QUAD R THINKS HE’S WON!” The ref breaks the hold and Quad R starts celebrating in the ring. He goes for the belt. Suave: “THE REF JUST TOLD HIM THAT BAHAMA MADE THE ROPES! QUAD R CAN’T BELIEVE IT!” Quad R gets in the ref’s face and starts arguing with him- giving Bahama invaluable time to recover. Mr. McMann screams at Quad R to cover him. Quad R pushes the ref and goes out to get a chair.

Suave: “MR. McMANN CAN’T BELIEVE IT! ALL QUAD R HAS TO DO IS PULLS BAHAMA OUT OF THE ROPES AND HE’D WIN THE MATCH!” McMann continues to yell at Quad R to cover Bahama. Quad R back in the ring with a chair. *CLANG* He takes out the ref. McMann can’t believe it. Bahama slowly regains his faculties. The crowd suddenly roars. Suave: “IT’S RUSH LIMBAUGH! THE INNOVATOR OF EXTREME BROADCAST EXCELLENCE!” Rush grabs a steel folding chair and potatoes Bahama with it. Suave: “HOLY CRAP!” McMann again screams at Quad R to pin Bahama. He finally pulls Bahama out of the ropes and covers. No referee. Suave: “QUAD R JUST ROYALLY SCREWED HIMSELF! AND HERE COMES JOE SIXPACKS!” Average Joe and the American Trucker hit the ring and attack Quad R. Kevin Scott follows. Triple team work on Quad R. Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit hit the ring for Domination Inc. Daisy Cutter-Bomb again gets involved. Mia Margarita slips into the ring. Suave: “ALL HELL’S BROKE LOOSE!” Mia locates Bahama and goes over to him. She tries to kiss him but a hand grabs her arm and yanks her back. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! IT’S PCW SECURITY DIRECTOR DAWN McGILL!” The crowd stands. McGill rips off the lip cover and puts it on. Then she plants a kiss on Mia. Suave: “YES! YES! MIA’S GETTING SOME OF HER OWN MEDICINE!” Mia’s arms go limp and her legs become rubbery. McGill lets go and she plops on the canvas. McGill rips the lip cover off and throws it out of the ring. She now goes to the Singapore cane. *CRACK* Down goes Big Oil. *CRACK* Next, Kirk Walstreit. *CRACK* Daisy Cutter-Bomb. Suave: “McGILL IS CLEANING HOUSE!”

Quad R grabs McGill from behind. He sets her for the Scorpion Death Drop. McGill does a back flip out of it and then plants her 4” stilettos in Quad R’s groin. Suave: “HOLY CRAP!” Quad R staggers backwards into Bahama. Bahama quickly puts him in the Bahama Backbreaker. Suave: “HE’S GOT HIM! HE’S GOT HIM! WILL QUAD R TAP OUT? BAHAMA CINCHES IT IN BUT QUAD R REFUSES TO TAP!” A new ref asks Quad R if he wants to give up. Quad R doesn’t answer. Suave: “HE’S PASSED OUT. BAHAMA DUMPS HIM ON THE CANVAS. HE’S STILL THE PCW CHAMPION!”

WINNER AND STILL PCW CHAMPION: O’BECK BAHAMA

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From our friends at Dream Wresting Federation

Mike Polowy versus Kelly Evans
Women’s Championship

Cody Brews versus Jak Nemesis

Team Danger versus USXF

Owen Manton versus Lupin Cy

T-Money versus Myles Jake

Level-One versus Pierce
Non-Title

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FROM: 10/21- PCW Extreme Political TV: Sarah Palin in Handcuffs……really, there’s nothing much else to say

BACKSTAGE
‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin walks down the hallway towards the ring dressed in a short black dress with thigh high black boots. Alec Baldwin pops out of a side room and surprises her. Alec: “Sarah. Long time no see.” Sarah: “Alec? What are you doing here?” Alec: “I just wanted to say that you were great on Saturday Night Live the other night.” Sarah: “Thanks. I have a great time.” Alec: “And I’ve got to say again, you are so much hotter in person.” Sarah: “Thanks again, Alec. I need to go to the ring for the-” Alec: “Look, can I talk to you for a sec.” Sarah: “Well…I really need to get the ring.” Alec: “It won’t take that long, I promise.” Sarah: “Oh…all right, I guess.” Sarah and Alec go into the room. The door slams and there’s a commotion inside.

Suave: “Okay, that was odd. I wonder what’s going on…

MATCH #2 PREVIEW OF NEW HAMPSHIRE INTERGENDER MATCH: JOHN SUNUNU w/John McCain and Sarah Palin (American Patriots) vs. JEANNE SHAHEEN w/Barack Obama and Joe Biden (Progressive Alliance)
Suave: “Sununu has a decided weight and strength advantage over Shaheen.” Sarah Palin is late coming out. She joins McCain in Sununu’s corner. The bell rings. Clothesline by Sununu. Shaheen gets back up and Sununu clotheslines her again. He covers but Shaheen slips out at 2. Snap mare to Shaheen. Sununu whips her to the corner. He charges but Shaheen sidesteps him and he hits the corner turnbuckle hard. Sununu grabs her and tosses her to the floor. McCain stands back. Palin takes what appears to be a couple of half hearted shots at Shaheen and tosses her back in. Sununu covers but again, Shaheen slips out after 2. Seated abdominal stretch by Sununu. Obama in the ring and breaks the hold. Shaheen backs into the corner and Palin again takes a couple of soft shots at her. Obama steps towards the Alaskan Pitbull and Palin jumps off the ring apron.

Sununu hits a back breaker and covers. 1…2…. Biden in and breaks up the count. McCain in the ring now and he argues with Biden. Shaheen tries a handspring elbow but Sununu catches her in mid flight and puts her in a full nelson. To the corner, Sununu tells Palin to nail Shaheen with the hockey stick. Palin winds up and she swings. *THWACK* Suave: “HOLY CRAP! SHE JUST TOOK OUT JOHN SUNUNU!” Sununu crumples to the mat. Shaheen covers. 1…2…3.

WINNER: JEANNE SHAHEEN

Suave: “UNBELIEVABLE! SARAH PALIN HIT SUNUNU WITH A HOCKEY STICK AND COST HIM THE MATCH! JOHN McCAIN IS LIVID!” McCain shoots daggers towards Palin. Sarah: “I’m sorry…I’m sorry.” McCain takes her by the hand and storms away. Palin turns around at Suave and winks. Suave: “Wait a minute. There’s something going on here.”

BACKSTAGE

Inside a closet is the real Sarah Palin. Her hands are handcuffed above her head over a metal bar and she’s gagged. Suave: “I knew it! That wasn’t the real Sarah Palin. That was Tina Fey!”……

‘SARAH PALIN’ PRESS CONFERENCE
Palin/Fey: “…and that’s why I strongly condemn John McCain for using robocalls to push his candidacy for PCW CEO. And furthermore I believe-” A harried Alec Baldwin runs in and whispers in her ear. Palin/Fey: “WHAT? She escaped? And she’s coming her right now?…Oh…bye-” *THWACK* Suave: “IT’S THE REAL SARAH PALIN AND SHE JUST CLOCKED TINA FEY WITH HER HOCKEY STICK!” Fey down. Baldwin backs up and tries to reason with her. *THWACK* Palin breaks the hockey stick in two over Baldwin’s head.

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FROM: 1/20-PCW Night of Champions- Hour 2: Rahm Emanuel aka Rahmbo debuts, O’Beck Bahama Retains PCW Title, 3 Other Title Matches
MATCH #3 PCW WOMEN’S TITLE MATCH:
KATHRYN RANDALL COLLINS…aka KRC © (Domination Inc.) vs.
‘PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ TESSA MARTIN w/Tequila Sheila (Joe SixPacks)
Suave: “Tessa’s still waiting. I don’t know what’s going- IT’S QUADRUPLE R WITH A CHAIR! *CLANG* HOLY CRAP! TESSA’S DOWN AND I DON’T THINK SHE’S GETTING UP! *CLANG* QUADRUPLE R JUST DRILLED TEQUILA SHEILA WITH THE CHAIR! AND HERE COMES KRC!” The crowd craps all over this. They are pissed. Debris starts flying into the ring. The PCW Women’s Champion turns Tessa over and sticks her foot on her chest. The referee reluctantly counts it. 1…2…3.

WINNER AND STILL PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION: KATHRYN RANDALL COLLINS

Suave: “THIS SUCKS! THIS IS SUCH A BULL CRAP ENDING! NO FREAKIN’ WAY…HOLD ON!” Joe SixPack hits the ring. Kevin Scott tackles Quad R and they start to brawl. ‘The Raving Rednecks’ Locke and Loade join in and triple team Quad R. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! REDNECK 4-D DEATH BLAST ON QUADRUPLE R! AND HERE COMES DOMINATION INC.!” Rough Justice…aka D.B. Ruff and Connor Justice- two former police officers fired for their over the top extreme style of justice, wade in with Daisy Cutter-Bomb, Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit. Ruff and Justice taser the hell out of Locke and Loade- they’re out. Big Oil and Walstreit lock up get into a wild brawl with Average Joe and the American Trucker- an old grudge match from a few months back. Joe the Plumber tries to help out but Daisy Cutter-Bomb kicks him in the balls. Suave: “Ah…poor Joe. DAISY CUTTER POWERBOMB! DAISY CUTTER POWERBOMB!” Daisy leaves Joe in a heap. Ruff and Justice duel with Kevin Scott. Justice gets the taser on Scott and takes him down. Suave: “HERE COMES DAVE THE MECHANIC!” Dave, still a bit winded from his TV Title match, wheels his battery charger down with him. He grabs the jumper cables and *ZZZZZAP* down goes Ruff. Justice lunges at him *ZZZZZAP* down goes Justice. Walstreit Stock Market Plunges American Trucker. Big Oil choke slams Average Joe. Suave: “HE’S GOT HIM! *WHAM* OKLAHOMA DRILLER! OKLAHOMA DRILLER!…” The crowd suddenly cheers. Suave: “HERE COMES PCW SECURITY DIRECTOR DAWN McGILL!”

McGill, with Singapore Cane in hand, runs up to Walstreit. *THWACK* *THWACK* Walstreit staggers into the steel guardrail. Big Oil rips the jumper cables away from Dave the Mechanic and choke slams him. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! Dave bounced up about six inches off the canvas!” Big Oil goes for the jumper cables, McGill plants her 4 inch stiletto heels in his groin. Big Oil to his knees. *THWACK* Big Oil topples over. Daisy Cutter-Bomb attacks McGill from behind and knocks the Singapore cane away. McGill instinctively whirls around with an open hand and smacks Daisy in the face. She stumbles all the way across the ring. McGill picks up the Singapore cane but gets blindsided by the PCW Women’s champion Kathryn Randall Collins. KRC drives McGill to the corner. McGill kick to the groin with her stilettos stops KRC in her tracks. She takes two steps back and turns around to see ‘PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin standing there- with her oversized pizza box. *WHAP* Suave: “HELLO! and GOODNIGHT! TESSA COVERS KRC! SHE COUNTS OUT HER OWN PINFALL.” An angry Tessa yells at KRC. Then she takes the pizza box and Arabian Facebusters KRC for good measure.

Domination Inc. CEO Mr. McMann arrives on scene with Whiskey Tango Foxtrot. Suave: “Mr. McMann is not happy.” McMann surveys the devastation of his Corporate group. Suave: “How much do you want to bet they’ll be an emergency board meeting after this? It’s going to take a few minutes to clean this up. We’ll be right back after this commercial message.

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UPCOMING EVENTS @ www.politicalwrestling.wordpress.com :
7/15- PCW Extreme Political TV
7/19- PCW Newsline with Gina Ramsey
7/22- PCW Extreme Political TV
7/26- PCW Newsline with Gina Ramsey
7/29-PCW Night of Champions

2009-2010 MAJOR EVENTS
9/27-PCW Lock and Load 4
11/9-PCW Night of Champions
12/27-PCW Christmas
1/27-PCW Night of Champions
3/7-PCW Weapons of Mass Political Destruction 3
4/21-PCW Night of Champions
6/6-PCW Loose Cannons Unleashed 6

PCW House Show: Fourth of July Spectacular/Miss USA Makes ‘Unofficial Debut’

PCW Fourth of July Spectacular
Location: Bowling Green Community  Center- Bowling Green, OH
Date: July 4th

1,500 people jammed into the Bowling Green Community Center gymnasium for some PCW action before taking in the fireworks later in the night.

Match #1 Halitosis (Independent) vs. ‘The King of Old School Gimmicks’ Baron Von Munchke (Island of Misfit Wrestlers)

-Von Munchke avoids Halitosis’s lethal breath and win with the old school Claw hold.

Match #2 ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee and GreenPete w/PeaceNick and Peta from PETA (Green World Order) vs. Michael Hunt and Richard Headd aka Guys With Unfortunate Names w/Movie Classic (Island of Misfit Wrestlers)

-After complaining about the excess jingoism associated with 4th of July celebrations, the GWO take out their frustrations on the overmatched Hunt and Headd.  Brock Cole Lee gets the pin with the juicer on Hunt.

Match #3 Dave the Mechanic w/Tequila Sheila (American Heartland Coalition) vs. ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido (Progressive Alliance)

-Nice little back and forth match.  Escondido gets the Cattle Mutilation submission on Dave for the win.

Match #4 NRA (Ron Paul’s New Libertarian Army) vs. N-Bomb (American Patriots)

-NRA gets a hand from Jack Schett to dispatch N-Bomb with the Gun Rack.

Match #5 SNAFU w/Dr. Bill (Independent) vs. Al Cahall (American Heartland Coalition)

-SNAFU with the Arabian Facebuster over Cahall.  The problems between Dr. Bill and SNAFU continue to fester as both men hardly spoke to each other.

Match #6 Starz N. Stripes (Progressive Alliance) vs. A-Bomb (American Patriots)

-The match was less than 30 seconds old when Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and Kim Jong-Il came out and directed the Axis of Evil (Khalid El and Byung-Hyung Kang) to attack.  Starz and A-Bomb fight off the AoE and Ahmadinejad challenges PCW CEO Barack Obama to put together a team to meet later on tonight.  Obama accepts.

Match #7 ‘The Terminatrix’ Angel Scott and ‘Ms. Lethal Weapon’ Angel Casey aka Angels of Death vs. Weathergirl Hallie and Mia Margarita

-Quick moving women’s tag match.  Angels of Death gets the win when Scott nails a Scorpion Death Drop on Margarita.

Main Event #1 
PCW Champion O’Beck Bahama w/”Not Just Intolerable, Not Just Unbearable, I am…” Justin Sufferable 
vs. Big Oil (Dick Cheney’s Extreme Neo-Con Alliance)

Bahama starts off with swift kicks to Big Oil’s legs.  Big Oil responds with a hard clothesline.  Big Oil attacks with boots to the back of the head.  Reversal by Bahama.  Big Oil goes for the ride into the corner.  Big Oil runs out and hits a short-arm clothesline.  Cover.  Two count.   Big Oil tries for an Oklahoma Driller but Bahama flips out of it.  Bahama body slams Big Oil and follows with a leg drop.  Bahama whips Big Oil into the corner and hits the splash.  Bahama nails a low dropkick.  Then Bahama up on the top rope- 450 Splash.   

Bahama covers and gets a near fall.  Big Oil whips the champ hard to the corner.   Big Oil rams Bahama back first into the ring post.  Bahama back on the attack, grounds Big Oil with a low dropkick.  A second 450 Splash from the top rope and then the sleeper.  Big Oil makes the ropes.  Bahama with a kick to the midsection…BAHAMA BACKBREAKER!  Big Oil taps out and that’s all.

Main Event #2:
Starz N. Stripes (Progressive Alliance), A-Tom Bomb (American Patriots), ‘PCW’s Princess of Political Incorrectness) Andrea Doria and ??? with PCW CEO Barack Obama and ‘Straight Shootin’ John McCain
vs. Khalid El, Byung-Hyung Kang, Fatima, and Soon Ye with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and Kim Jong-Il (Axis of Evil)

This is an elimination match.  When someone is pinned, he or she must leave ringside.  The team who’s left standing wins the match.

Obama’s aides wheel out the rebuilt portable closet containing his aide de camp Joe Biden.

‘Born in the USA’ blares and the crowd explodes when Miss USA, making her unofficial PCW debut, comes out.  The bell rings and Starz hooks up with Khalid El.  Khalid starts with a wrist lock.  Khalid kicks out one of Starz’s leg and cinches in the hold.  A-Bomb in and hits Khalid with a dropkick.  Byung-Hyung Kang pulls A-Bomb into his corner where Fatima rakes the eyes.  Kang attacks A-Bomb with a double axe handle from the middle rope.

Starz sends Khalid El for the ride.  Starz covers, Soon Ye puts Khalid’s foot on the ropes.  Starz pulls him back into the ring and slings him face first into the far turnbuckle.  Starz with a wrist lock and tags in A-Bomb.  A-Bomb attacks with a double axe handle from the middle rope.  A-Bomb keeps up the pressure on the arm with a shoulder lock.  Then he drops Khalid with stiff kicks.  Khalid makes the corner and tags in Soon Ye who is immediately joined by Miss USA. 

The crowd stands as Miss USA hits a leg drop from the middle rope.  She hooks both legs and gets a 2 count.  Miss USA Irish Whips Soon Ye into the corner and hits an inverted atomic drop!  Double leg drop from Miss USA.  Miss USA tags in Andrea Doria who snap mares Soon Ye and goes for a pin. 2 1/2 count.   Soon Ye scoots back to his corner and tags in Fatima.  Fatima gets shots in on Doria.  Doria hits back with a head butt.  Doria sends Fatima for the ride; Fatima answers back with a spinning heel kick!  Fatima tags in Khalid El who whips Doria into their corner.  Kang, Fatima, and Soon Ye triple team Doria.  Ahmadinejad and Kim Jong-Il also get in cheap shots and The Princess of Political Correctness is in real trouble.

Khalid El tees off on Doria with shots to the head.  He sends her into the ropes and slides between the legs of Khalid.  Miss USA from the top rope nails a Patriot Missile drop kick on a charging Khalid.  Khalid tries to tag out but it appears an eye injury is starting to give him problems.  Miss USA and Starz hit a vertical suplex to Khalid El and Miss USA covers for a 2 3/4 count.  Starz whips Khalid to the corner and goes for a splash.    Ahmadinejad pulls Khalid out of the way.  Soon Ye schoolboys Doria.  One.  Two.  Three. 

Andrea Doria is eliminated. 

Miss USA off the top rope with catches Soon Ye flush with a Patriot Missile dropkick.  She hooks the legs.  One.  Two. Three.

Soon Ye is eliminated.  Down to three on three.

Ahmadinejad and Khalid attempt to take the American Flag.  Obama and Ahmadinejad scuffle over the flag.  Kim Song-Il tries to sneak in.  McCain drills him with a chairshot.  Starz clotheslines Il.  Ahmadinejad uses the fire…misses Obama but catches the flag on fire.  Miss USA slides out of the ring and dumps a bucket of water on the flag to douse the fire.  Starz whips Ahmadinejad into the portable closet holding Biden.  Biden: “OW!  HEY!  WHAT’S GOING ON?”  A-Bomb comes screaming around the corner and lariats Ahmadinjead AND the portable closet.  A-Bomb to the top rope now.  An unhappy Kim Song-Il handed to him by Starz and McCain.  TOP ROPE POWERBOMB aka BLUNT FORCE TRAUMA THROUGH  AHMADINJEAD AND THE PORTABLE CLOSET!  

Fatima grounds Miss USA with a leg scissors and taunts her.  The referee keeps busy as Khalid and A-Bomb go at it on the outside.  Finally, both get tagged in.  Fatima tosses Miss USA to the outside.  Again the referee gets distracted, this time by Miss USA and Fatima as they brawl and Starz and Byung-Hyung Kang.  Starz’s right and sends Kang into the steel barricade.  A-Bomb sends Khalid for the ride.  Khalid HITS A-BOMB WIT THE FIRE!  A-Bomb down clutching his eyes.  Khalid covers.  One.  Two.  Three.

A-Bomb eliminated.  Now three against two. 

McCain in the ring and helps A-Bomb out.  Khalid on the top rope.  Double axe handle to Starz drives him into the steel barricade.  Double team action on Starz as elsewhere, Miss USA and Fatima are locked in a pitched battle.  Double chops to Starz.  Kang with martial arts kicks doubles Starz over.  Khalid bulldogs Starz headfirst into a table.  The table doesn’t break but blood quickly appears on Starz’s forehead.  Khalid and Kang drag Starz back to the ring.  More double team action follows.  Kang holds Starz up and Khalid reaches into his trunks.  Miss USA catches this and throws Fatima into the ring steps.  Khalid’s got the fire…NO!  Starz ducks.  Miss USA goes top rope and Patriot Missiles Khalid into Kang.  Kang gets the fire!  He rolls on the canvas and out of the ring.  Khalid can’t believe it.  Starz slaps the American Stars and FUJI BAR submission on.  Fatima  tries to slide into the ring.  Miss USA baseball slides her off the ring apron.  Khalid taps.

Khalid eliminated.  It’s now Starz and Miss USA vs. Kang and Fatima.

Miss USA rolls Kang back in.   Blinded by the fire, Kang tries to crawl to a tag.   But he goes to the wrong corner.  Starz over…American Stars and FUJI BAR!  Fatima in now.  Miss USA goes low with what she calls Independence Day.  Stars and Stripes next- series of head strikes with both the feet and the hands, as well as reverse knife edge chops in the corner.  Fatima staggers out of the corner.  CODE RED!  Miss USA locks in a submission leg scissors arm bar! 

Kang taps out.  Fatima taps out.  Double elimination! 

Winner: Starz N. Stripes (Progressive Alliance), A-Tom Bomb (American Patriots), ‘PCW’s Princess of Political Incorrectness’ Andrea Doria (American Heartland Coalition) and Miss USA (Independent)

4th of July Fireworks followed outside.

—————————

Other news stories: Patrick Sperry, American Salsa, In2 The Fray, GayConservative.org, BushWorldGoneWorld, Justice as Fairness, True Believer’s Blog, CNN, CNN,

7/1- PCW Extreme Political TV

-PCW CEO Barack Obama proposes a stimulus package and addresses the signing of Miss USA and the Extreme Weather Network
-WWR Top 50
-Drunken Luchadors Dan and Don Martini meet the Green World Order in a match from PCW Extreme Election Night 2006
-Emily List vs. Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen
-Saxby Chambliss vs. Jim Martin
-Mark Sanford tries to apologize for his affair
-Mr. Movie Classic goes to Washington
-’Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin vs. Mia Margarita

7/1-PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV
LOCATION: Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon, Wauseon, OH
HOST: Johnny Suave

Suave: “Johnny Suave here at Hack’s. We have some people in the building as we wait for PCW CEO Barack Obama to come out-”

*flute and clarinet flourish*

Suave: “And here he comes.”

Two men come out and unroll a white carpet to the ring steps. Dancers then dance. Ballet dancers…ballet? Little children walk up the white carpet and drop rose petals. Someone lets loose some pigeons…we’re still not sure just how they’ll get out of the building. The crowd stands and lets out a loud ovation as PCW CEO Barack Obama appears. Behind Obama, two aides wheel out a banged up portable closet with his Aide de Camp Joe Biden inside.

The PCW roster also come out and surround Obama in a half semi-circle. Obama: “Thank you all for coming on short notice. Tonight, I’m announcing that I have proposed a plan to the PCW Competition Committee to get PCW back on track financially. My idea is to stimulate more interest in PCW and thus attract more people to come to our shows. This stimulus package will ramp up excitement and allow us to run in slightly larger venues. First, I will confirm that PCW has purchased the contract of Miss USA. She will debut in two weeks on PCW Extreme Political TV. Second, I have signed a new group to come in- the Extreme Weather Network. Jim Frascantore, Steve Abrams, Mark Bettes with their valets Jen, Kristine, and Steph….” Pauses for grumbling from the wrestlers. Obama: “Yes, I know that these expendatures represent an additional debt for PCW in the short term. But, this stimulus package will result in larger crowds at our PCW house shows and thus more revenue. That is all I want to say tonight. And I’ll be happy to take your questions.”

Suave: “So, to summarize: PCW signs Miss USA and the Extreme Weather Network. We’ll be back with the reaction in just a moment.”

———————–

Wednesday Wrestling Rag’s Top 50

TOP 10 E-WRESTLING TAG TEAMS
1. Vox Nihili (Alias and Karina Wolfenden)- FWO 27 pts.
2. Hawk Henshaw and Latricia- PWR 22 pts.
3. Flying Vergomov’s- LoC 19 pts.
4. Ron and Don Connection- Hostility 16 pts.
4. Blitzkrieg Funk- LoC 16 pts.
6. Spike Saunders and Callie Urban- FWO 15 pts.
7. Viking and Andrew O’Reilly- WTF 13 pts.
7. Team Viagra (MLM and David Noble)- FWO 13 pts.
9. Big Oil/Kirk Walstreit- PCW 12 pts.
9. Team Danger (Stephen Greer and Tyrone Walker)- DWF 12 pts.
9. The Novas- TFWF 12 pts.

TOP 15 WOMEN E-WRESTLERS
1. Kirsta Lewis- HOW, SCCW, VWF, TFWF 35 pts.
2. Michelle Masters – FWO * (Cruiserwt Chmp) 25 pts.
3. Latrisha- PWR 23 pts.
4. Bobbinette Carey- HOW 20 pts
5. Karina Wolfenden- FWO 17 pts.
6. Olivia Quinn- Siberian Wrestling 14 pts.
6. Alexia- VWF 14 pts.
6. Katherine Stryfe- HIW 14 pts.
9. Hannah Rickman- PWR 13 pts.
9. Kathryn Randall Collins- PCW 13 pts.
9. Iris Galavar- ICWF 13 pts.
9. Brandy Lust- VWF 13 pts.
13. Valoria Salinas- WMW 12 pts.
13. Heiki Heidenriech- PWR 12 pts.
13. Angelica Jones- GDW 12 pts.

TOP 25 MEN’S E-WRESTLERS
1. Sandy Makel- TFWF 50 pts.
2. Nick Stevenson- PWR 36 pts.
3. High Flyer- FWO 33 pts.
4. Shawn Hart- LoC 32 pts.
5. Alias- ACW/FWO 31 pts.
6. MDW- SCW 28 pts.
7. ‘The All-Star’ Shawn Anderson- WTF 27 pts.
8. Max Danger- ACW 25 pts.
9. Johnny Serious- cWo 24 pts.
9. Mr. Fantastic- VWF 24 pts.
11. Level One APW/DWF 22 pts.
12. Shane Reynolds- HOW 20 pts.
13. Aceldama- HOW 19 pts.
13. Johnny Styles- HIW 19 pts.
13. Viking- WTF 19 pts.
13. O’Beck Bahama- PCW 19 pts.
17. Trevor Wilson- ACW 18 pts.
17. Max Kael- HOW 18 pts.
17. Hawk Henshaw- PWR 18 pts.
20. Jack Purcell- PWR, SW 17 pts.
20. Xander Daniels- Hostility 17 pts.
20. Mike Polowy- Hostility/DWF 17 pts.
23. Johnny Donovan- Hostility 16 pts.
23. Stephen Greer- DWF 16 pts.
23. Dake Ken- WCF 16 pts.

————————

MATCH FROM BCEW EXTREME ELECTION NIGHT 2006:
BCEW TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH- PEACENIK #1 & 2 of the Green World Order (Progressive Alliance) vs. THE DRUNKEN LUCHADORS DAN & DON- THE FLYIN’ MARTINI BROTHERS (Independent)
Extreme attorneys Felcher and Felcher joins Johnny Suave at ringside. “Swell,” he mumbles. Immediately Peacenik #1 complains about the Martini Brothers drinking in the ring. Both Martini Brothers chug a bottle of Jack Daniels and then break the bottle over their heads. “Yes, it’s a little unorthodox,” Suave explains, “but hell, they’re the champions. They can do whatever they want.”

Peacenik #1 and Don Martini to begin. Crowd chants for the Drunken Luchadors. A brief lock up and an attempted knee by Peacenik #1 that whiffs because Don staggers out of the way. Peacenik #1 tries rights now, and then the boots…and misses again. “Here we go again,” Suave says. R Felcher yells at Don Martini to stand still. Suave shoots back, “Yeah, easier said than done.” Peacenik #1 gets frustrated and rushes at Don. He clips the Drunken Luchador and sends him to the canvas. The Felchers cheer at the announcer’s table. Peacenik #1 goes for a leg drop but Dan Martini pulls Don out of the way. “Apparently Dan is the more sober one tonight,” observes Suave. A tag is made and Dan Martini gets into the ring. Peacenik #1 again tries to bull over Dan. Dan topples to the canvas and Peacenik #1 rams into the corner ringpost. “Of course, I could be wrong,” Suave says. Peacenik #1 staggers back to his corner and tags in Peacenik #2.

Dan Martini climbs to the top rope. Suave cringes. “Well, this can’t be a good thing.” Peacenik #2 simply waits. Dan leaps off the top rope and misses Peacenik #2 completely. “Definitely, not a good thing,” Suave says as Peacenik #2 goes for the cover but somehow Dan kicks out. “In the interest of fairness, he should have let the Green World Order pin him,” whines R Felcher. “Yes,” chimes in B Felcher. “Haven’t they been tag team champions long enough?” The other two members of the Green World Order, The Vengeful Vegan Brock Cole Lee and Peta from PETA come down to the ring. Brock Cole Lee slips a bottle of chloroform and a handkerchief to Peacenik #1. “Now what are they up to!” asks Suave. “Justice!” offers R Felcher. “That bottle of chloroform represents justice for the Green World Order.” Peacenik #1 motions #2 to throw Dan Martini into their corner. Peacenik #2 tries to lift the Drunken Luchador up- he’s dead weight. Finally, Brock Cole Lee interjects himself into the match and helps Peacenik #2 drag Dan to their corner. “It’s all over!” gloats R Felcher. D Felcher concurs, “There’s no way that-” “HERE COME THE BOMB BROTHERS!” interrupts Suave, AND THE RAVING REDNECKS-LOCKE AND LOADE!”

Suave quickly recaps how Felcher and Felcher used the judicial system to deny the Bomb Brothers or the Raving Rednecks from wrestling for the tag team title. “This is not acceptable!” R Felcher says. A-Bomb tears Peacenik #1 off the edge of the ring and slams him into the steel barricade. The bottle of chloroform drops on the floor and Earl Locke picks it up. He immediately uses it on Peacenik #1 and takes him out. Gary Loade bulldogs Brock Cole Lee and then Locke and Loade deliver a devastating 4-D Redneck Death Blast to the Vengeful Vegan. Peacenik #2 ducks out of the ring but runs into H-Bomb. “Oh, oh!” Suave warns. Peacenik #2 immediately runs back into the ring and inadvertently elbows Dan Martini in the stomach. Dan starts to look green. “HOLY CRAP! HE’S GOING FOR THEIR FINISHER!” Suave says as Peacenik #2 gets a real concerned look. “Someone stop him,” R Felcher says. Too late. Dan spews green mist…no too chunky…projectile vomits all over Peacenik #2. “WOW!” Suave exclaims. “He must have ate a lot for supper tonight!” Dan passes out and headbutts Peacenik #2. Peacenik #2 down and covered by Drunken Luchador Dan. 1-2-3. Match.

WINNER AND STILL BCEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: THE DRUNKEN LUCHADORS, DAN AND DON- THE FLYING MARTINI BROTHERS

A-Bomb grabs R Felcher; Gary Loade grabs B Felcher. Both Felchers are dragged unceremoniously into the ring. “It’s been nice knowing you guys,” Suave says, “NOT!” Locke and Loade deliver another 4-D Redneck Death Blast to B Felcher while A-Bomb and H-Bomb double-power A-Bombs R Felcher. “And that my friends,” Suave says, “is what I call a happy ending.”

——————–

BACK ON THE MAIN FLOOR
Obama: “American Trucker. I repeat what I said before, no decision has been made on which division PCW is leaning towards eliminating! These are perilous times and-” American Trucker: “Mr. Obama, on behalf of the American Heartland Coalition I’d like to say- bollocks!” Suave: “Bollocks? Can you say bollocks on TV?” American Trucker: “You’ve brought in higher priced talent at a time where money is tight. You can barely pay us now as it is. Tell me where it makes sense to bring in Miss USA when the price tag surely isn’t cheap.” The rest of the American Heartland contingent echo their agreement. Nancy Pelosi stands up. Pelosi: “The fact is we tried it your way for four years.” American Trucker: “OUR way? I don’t think so.” Andrea Doria joins American Trucker. Andrea: “No, if it were our way, we wouldn’t have approved Joe Biden’s little Space Shuttle stunt in the first place. Nice leadership, Nancy.”

Suave: “Well. CEO Obama’s stimulus plan has created quite the debate. We’ll be back with more of this in a bit.

———————-

CATCH THE LATEST NEWS ON PCW AND OTHER GREAT E-FEDERATIONS AT THESE SITES:

E-Wresting Torch- E-Fed Television, Pay-Per-View, and Classic show reviews
E-Wrestling Magazine- The home for all the latest e-federation news throughout the country
E-Wrestling Nexus- The newest E-Wrestling hotspot to catch up on the latest news, cards, and e-wrestlers in the e-wrestling world

——————-

From our friends over at High Octane Wrestling:

WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
Issac Slade vs. Aceldama©

ICON CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
Maximillian Kael vs. Shane Reynolds©

LSD CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
Chris Kostoff or Christopher America vs. David Black©

HALL OF FAME RESPECT IS EARNED MATCH
Mark O’Neal vs. Darkwing

————————–

12/7-PCW Extreme Political TV from Alaska:
MATCH #2: EMILY LIST (Progressive Alliance) vs. KALEE JONES- The Eskimo Queen w/Sarah Palin (American Patriots)
Crowd: “SER-RAH PAY-LIN! clap, clap clap-clap-clap, SER-RAH PAY-LIN! clap, clap clap-clap-clap…” Suave: “The Alaskan Pitbull back home here in Alaska to unveil her new protegee, Kalee Jones.” Jones towers over List. Tie up leads to a trip by List. She mounts Kalee but Kalee rolls over. Suave: “CAT FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT~! CAT FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT~!” Go-behind by List. Reverse by Jones into a headlock. Headlock takeover follows. Back to their feet, the Eskimo Queen off the ropes with a shoulderblock. Two legdrops and Kalee covers. List kicks out at one. European uppercut and an Alaskan kick by Kalee Jones. Irish whip into the corner leads to a clothesline. Shoulderblocks in the corner but List gets a sunset flip for a one count. Jones quickly regains control. She rams List’s head into the turnbuckle. Kicks and elbows in the corner. List fires back with punches & kicks. Jones breaks out a dropkick. Hair mare followed by a rear naked choke by Jones. Jones lifts List up and slams her face first into the canvas. Suave: “I believe they call that the Alaskan Pieface.” Jones covers. 1…2…3.

WINNER: KALEE JONES- The Eskimo Queen

The Alaskan Pitbull Sarah Palin in the ring and she holds up Kalee’s arm in victory. List is furious and pushes Palin from behind. Jones picks List up and Alaskan Piefaces her a second time. The Angry Left Wing Bloggers- Paul Krugman, Daily Kos, Eric Alterman, Media Matters for America, News Hounds led by Arianna Huffington run in. Suave: “They’ve got Palin and Jones surrounded!” Huffington smirks at the edge of the ring. Huffington: “You are a dangerous person, Sarah Palin. And we’re going to put a stop to you right now.” Krugman charges- he gets Alaskan Piefaced by Kalee Jones. News Hounds runs at Palin… *WHACK* …and eats a well-placed hockey stick in the ear by Palin. *WHACK* Media Matters goes down. Jones Alaskan Piefaces Eric Alterman. Daily Kos gets caught in no man’s land. He’s too far away from the ropes and too close to Palin. He puts his hands up to beg off. Crowd: “SARAH’S GOING TO KILL YOU! clap, clap clap-clap-clap, SARAH’S GOING TO KILL YOU! clap, clap clap-clap-clap. Daily Kos turns to flee. Palin uppercuts with the hockey stick and belts Daily Kos in the groin. Suave: “Ow. And I mean, seriously. Ow.” Daily Kos faints in the ring. Huffington’s smirk is gone. Especially when Palin points the hockey stick at her. Huffington tries to run, Palin grabs her and drags her by the hair kick and screaming into the ring. Palin throws her to Jones. Jones lifts Huffington and Alaskan Piefaces her. Crowd: “PCW…PCW!” Suave: “Well. Apparently Sarah Palin isn’t going away anytime soon. In fact, Saxby Chambliss was glad she was at a PCW House show in Georgia the other night…”

REPLAY: SAXBY CHAMBLISS w/ John McCain (American Patriots) vs. JIM MARTIN (Progressive Alliance) at PCW HOUSE SHOW in CARTERSVILLE, GA
Crowd: “PCW!…PCW!” Chambliss in control with an armbar on Martin. Kicks by Chambliss. Northern Lights Suplex. Martin rolls and manages to get to the ropes. Chambliss backs off and Martin scoots under the ropes. He looks to the back for help.

A Barack Obama video begins to play: Obama’s voice: “Hey, Jim. Sorry I couldn’t be there tonight. Good luck and…take it to him!” Suave: “Guess he’s not coming, eh?” Martin seems a little put off. Chambliss pulls him back into the ring and rolls him up. 1…2…no. Martin kicks out. Slingshot drapes Martin’s throat on the top rope. Again, Chambliss covers. Again, 2 count.The music of Fleetwood Mac’s “Don’t Stop” suddenly starts. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! IS THAT WHO I THINK IT IS?” The crowd explodes. A spotlight points out a plaid shirted man with a Singapore cane and a cup of mocha. Next to him is a white haired gentlemen in a suit. Suave: “IT’S HIM! HE’S HERE! HE’S BACK!” Sununu can’t believe it. Suave: “HE’S BACK! IT’S THE TREE HUGGIN’, MOCHA CHUGGIN’, TOBACCO COMPANY BUGGIN’ ALPHA MALE AND ENVIROMENTAL EXTREME HARDCORE ICON- AL GORE! AND HE’S WITH BILL CLINTON!” The crowd sings the chorus “Don’t stop, thinking about tomorrow.” Clinton watches impatiently as Gore holds up his mocha, inside an environmentally friendly biodegradable container of course, and chugs it down. Then he spews it out of his mouth into the crowd and then crushes the paper container on his forehead in a manly fashion. Suave: “HE’S BACK HERE IN PCW!” Clinton starts to run down but the Environmental Extreme Hardcore Icon walks down the steps to the main floor. Clinton has to turn around and go back. At the bottom of the steps, Gore pulls out another container of mocha, guzzles it down, spews it into the crowd, and then smashes the container on his forehead while Clinton stews.

 

In the ring, Martin is looking out at Clinton and Gore wading through the main floor crowd to the bar area. Martin is looking for any help. Gore suddenly stops and Clinton has to double back to him. Gore climbs up on the bar, pulls out yet another cup of mocha, guzzles that one down, spews it into the crowd, and then smashes the container on his forehead. Clinton’s itching to go. Gore throws down the container and finally heads to the ring. Clinton and Gore almost reach the ring and suddenly disappear. Suave: “Okay, what’s going on? It looks like someone or something tripped up Clinton and Gore as they were- SARAH PALIN! IT’S SARAH PALIN!” Gore, hacked off, turns to cane the person who tripped him and realizes it’s Sarah Palin. He’s ready to cane her but in the end doesn’t.

Martin’s distracted. Chambliss gets a chair and comes up behind Martin. *CLANG* Suave: “HOLY CRAP! HE NEVER SAW THAT ONE COMING!” Martin to the canvas. Chambliss covers. 1…2…3

WINNER: SAXBY CHAMBLISS

————–

BACK IN THE RING
South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford wanders out to a chorus of boos from the few people. Sanford: “I want to apologize. This was a whole lot more than a simple affair, this was a love story. A forbidden one, a tragic one, but a love story at the end of the day. I am fit to govern and have no plan to resign. I’ve been able to do my job and in fact excel at it. If I had to do again, would I have done the same thing? I’ll say this…what I would say is that I’ve never had sex with another woman. Have I done stupid? I have. You know you meet someone. You dance with them. You go to a place where you probably shouldn’t have gone. If you’re a married guy at the end of the day you shouldn’t be dancing with somebody else. So anyway, without wandering into that field we’ll just say that I let my guard down in all senses of the word without ever crossing the line that I crossed with this situation.”

*The beginning of Def Leppard’s ‘Rock, Rock Til You Drop blares through the loudspeakers*

The crowd stands and cheers. Suave: “And speaking of crossing the line, Governor Sanford. Here comes the Extreme Enforcer, WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT!

Hold on to your hat,
hold on to your heart
Ready get set
to tear this place apart

WTF runs down the aisle…

Don’t need a ticket,
only place in town
That will take you up to heave
and never bring you down
Anything goes!
Anything goes!

WTF in the ring. Sanford’s trapped. WTF grabs the throat. Lifts. Chokeslam.

I said
Rock! Rock! Till you drop
Rock! Rock! Never stop
Rock! Rock! Till you drop
I say rock! Rock! Till you drop

Suave: “Thank you!”

———————-

BACKSTAGE
Movie Classic and the Island of Misfit Wrestlers storm down the hallway. They reach Nancy Pelosi’s office. Movie Classic bangs on the door. Movie Classic: “MS. PELOSI! MS. PELOSI!” The door opens. Pelosi: “What the hell do you want?” Movie Classic: “CEO Obama told us to come down here to discuss the stimulus package.” Pelosi: “He did?” Movie Classic: “We’re against it. With Miss USA coming in, it’s clear that it’s the TV title that’s going to be elimin-” The door slams shut. Movie Classic: “Ms. Pelosi? Ms. Pelosi?” He bangs on the door again. Michael Hunt: “Well. I guess that’s it then.” Movie Classic: “No, it’s not. You see, boys forget what their country means by just reading The Land of the Free in history books. Then they get to be men they forget even more. Liberty’s too precious a thing to be buried in books. Men should hold it up in front of them every single day of their lives and say: I’m free to think and to speak. My ancestors couldn’t, I can, and my children will. Boys ought to grow up remembering that.” Mr. Jaundice: “Huh?” Movie Classic: “Just get up off the ground, that’s all I ask. Get up there with that lady that’s up on top of this Capitol dome, that lady that stands for liberty. Take a look at this country through her eyes if you really want to see something. And you won’t just see scenery; you’ll see the whole parade of what Man’s carved out for himself, after centuries of fighting. Fighting for something better than just jungle law, fighting so’s he can stand on his own two feet, free and decent, like he was created, no matter what his race, color, or creed. That’s what you’d see. There’s no place out there for graft, or greed, or lies, or compromise with human liberties. And, uh, if that’s what the grownups have done with this world that was given to them, then we’d better get those boys’ camps started fast and see what the kids can do. And it’s not too late, because this country is bigger than the Taylors, or you, or me, or anything else. Great principles don’t get lost once they come to light. They’re right here; you just have to see them again!” The Island of Misfit Wrestlers all look quizzically at each other. Then they begin to clap. Richard Headd: “Good one, sir!”

———————

3/3-PCW Extreme Political TV:
MATCH #1: #1 CONTENDERS MATCH FOR THE PCW WOMEN’S TITLE
‘PCW EXTREME PIZZA DELIVERY GIRL’ TESSA MARTIN (Joe SixPacks)
vs.
?????
Suave: “Okay. Tessa’s in the ring and we’re waiting for…oops…here she comes.” A small, petite woman dressed scandalously runs to the ring. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! MIA MARGARITA? THE STAR OF ‘SHOT AT SCORING WITH A SLUTTY VIDEO TELEVISION REALITY SHOW BABE?’ Mia slides into the ring. Suave: “Okay. I guess this is our match.” The bell rings. Mia circles the ring. Tessa methodically hunts her down. Eventually, Mia is trapped in the corner. Suave: “Well, I guess we’re going to find out real fast just how Mia handles herself in the ring.” Mia feigns going to the right. She feigns going to the left. Both times, Tessa has her covered. Mia suddenly rushes Tessa and… Suave: “HOLY CRAP! SHE’S…SHE’S…KISSING HER?” The crowd stands and cheers. Crowd: “PCW!…PCW!…PCW!” Tessa’s arms and legs suddenly go limp. Her eyes roll up inside her head and Mia gently lays her on the canvas. Suave: “IT WAS HER! IT WAS MIA MARGARITA WHO TOOK OUT DAWN McGILL AND DAVE THE MECHANIC AND KALEE JONES AND EMILY LIST!” Tessa lies on the canvas, not moving. Mia asks for and is handed a microphone. Mia: “Ladies and gentlemen. You can call that the…LONG…KISS…GOODNIGHT!” Mia puts her foot on Tessa’s chest. 1…2…3.

WINNER AND THE NEW #1 CONTENDER FOR THE PCW WOMEN’S TITLE: MIA MARGARITA

Suave: “Well, we’ve seen chloroform, hypnosis, tasers, extreme flatulence, weaponry of all sorts, and jumper cable used here in PCW. I guess using a powerful drug transmitted by human touch that causes temporary paralysis is okay, too.”

————————

UPCOMING EVENTS @ www.politicalwrestling.wordpress.com :
No Newsline or shows until 7/15
7/15- PCW Extreme Political TV
7/19- PCW Newsline with Gina Ramsey
7/22- PCW Extreme Political TV
7/26- PCW Newsline with Gina Ramsey
7/29-PCW Night of Champions

2009-2010 MAJOR EVENTS
9/27-PCW Lock and Load 4
11/9-PCW Night of Champions
12/27-PCW Christmas
1/27-PCW Night of Champions
3/7-PCW Weapons of Mass Political Destruction 3
4/21-PCW Night of Champions
6/6-PCW Loose Cannons Unleashed 6

———————

PCW COMPETITION COMMITTEE VOTE
Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, and Steny Hoyer from the Progressive Alliance and Mitch McConnell and John Boehner from the American Patriots sit down to vote. Pelosi: “We’ll dispense with the debate and get right to the vote.” McConnell: “I object! The wrestlers of PCW deserve-” Pelosi: “Overruled. All in favor.” Pelosi, Reid, and Hoyer vote aye. Pelosi: “Motion carried. Thank you for coming.”

Suave: “So it’s true. Miss USA is coming to PCW as well as the Extreme Weather Network. Things are about to get a whole lot more interesting. Next week, classic matches from the PCW vault. In two weeks, PCW Extreme Political TV is live from the Palace of Political Extreme, PCW Hall in Archbold, Ohio. We’ll see you then!”

———–

Other news stories: CNN, Five Pond, Amused Musings…, Hysterical Raisins, CNN, Caffeinated Politics, OhioBelle, Doug Wead, Cara Ellison, CNN, CNN,

Preview of Tonight’s PCW Extreme Political TV

Yes, we’re supposed to be taking it easy the next two weeks. But these things keep happening!

Tonight on PCW Extreme Political TV:

PCW CEO Barack Obama will discuss recent events concerning the signing of Miss USA AND a rumored signing of a new group. How will the PCW rank and file, already reeling from CEO Obama’s last batch of announcements, react to this?

Plus, matches from legendary Tag Team Drunken Luchadors Dan and Don Martini, The Green World Order, Extreme Environmental Hardcore Icon Al Gore, and ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin and current PCW stars O’Beck Bahama, Tequila Sheila, and Quad R.

6/28-PCW Newsline- part 2

6/28-PCW NEWSLINE with Gina Ramsey

Breaking news to report…

Miss USA, late of the Dream Wrestling Federation and High Octane Wrestling appears to be headed to Political Championship Wrestling.

Owner Lee Best confirmed on HOW’s website that the contract of Miss USA had been purchased by an unnamed company.

I just confirmed the following: 

-Miss USA will be at PCW Extreme Political TV July 15th. 

-PCW CEO Barack Obama will address the issue live from Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon Wednesday night. 

Also, former PCW Women’s Champion Tessa Martin will begin an exclusive 2 part interview with Miss USA tonight on EW Torch’s TorchCenter.

——————

From our friends over at Dream Wrestling Federation:

-Eleven past Dream Wrestling Federation Pay Per View events have been uploaded for live streaming 24/7 bringing the grand total to sixteen shows. Re-live the glory days of the DWF through these historic moments. To celebrate, we will be airing classic PPV matches and moments through out the coming weeks on Sunday Night Slaughter!

-DWF’s Sunday Night Slaughter-Episode IX
Live from the Bi-Lo Center in Greenville, South Carolina.
June 28th, 2009 – Only on DTN

The ‘Path to Glory’ continues.

Slaughter Line Up
—————————–

Lupin Cy versus Havoc

T-Money versus Pierce versus Antonio Lopez versus S.G. Martins versus Buzz Krueger versus Havoc
Over the Top Rope Elimination Match

Owen Manton versus Myles Jake

Mike Polowy versus Eric Payne

Jak Nemesis versus Level-One

Rich Mahogany versus Team Danger
Handicap Match

6/26-Political Championship Wrestling Newsline

6/26-PCW NEWSLINE

 

-New Night for PCW Newsline starting July 19th
-Recap of PCW Extreme Political TV
-PCW Wrestlers Ranked in WWR’s Top 35
-PCW Rankings, Upcoming PCW Schedule

 

“Hey y ‘all. It’s Gina Ramsey here with the last PCW newsline for a couple weeks.

 

No, we’re not going to disappear and turn up in Argentina having an extramarital affair like a certain South Carolina governor, we’re just taking a much needed break to reload as we head into season #5. PCW Newsline will be moving to it’s new night on Sundays starting July 19th. As usual, lots of things going on in PCW so let’s get right to it…”

RECAP OF PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV

PCW CEO Barack Obama’s Office
-The newly minted Total Eliminators (Cadillac, Jaguar, Mercedes, and Porsche Lexus) invade PCW CEO Barack Obama’s office along with Jack and Bull Schett and demand to wrestle live on the show. Obama asks the Schetts if they go along with the idea, they do, and the PCW CEO makes the match.

From our good friends at High Octane Wrestling :

 

WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

Issac Slade vs. Aceldama©

ICON CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
Maximillian Kael vs. Shane Reynolds©

HALL OF FAME RESPECT IS EARNED MATCH
Mark O’Neal vs. Darkwing

*

—————————

*

JACK SCHETT and BULL SCHETT w/Horst Schett and their pet dog- Hans Gruber, the Extreme German Schnauzer (Ron Paul’s New Libertarian Army)vs.CADILLAC and JAGUAR w/Mercedes and Porsche Lexus (The New Eliminators)

-The Schett’s get the win with a little help from big brother Horst Schett and Hans Gruber- the Extreme German Schnauzer who distracts Cadillac while Bull delivers the Schett-Brick to Jaguar.

*

CATCH THE LATEST NEWS ON PCW AND OTHER GREAT E-FEDERATIONS AT THESE SITES:

E-Wresting Torch- E-Fed Television, Pay-Per-View, and Classic show reviews
E-Wrestling Magazine- The home for all the latest e-federation news throughout the country
E-Wrestling Nexus- The newest E-Wrestling hotspot to catch up on the latest news, cards, and e-wrestlers in the e-wrestling world

*

State of PCW Address
PCW CEO Barack Obama and his aide de camp Joe Biden (Biden’s locked in a portable closet to keep him out of trouble) come out to address the roster and the fans gathered at Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon.

*

-Obama notes the state of PCW is strong and puts over the PCW Competition Committee and the bookers. The crowd starts chanting for former PCW Security Director Dawn McGill who was released the day before.

*

-The American Trucker (American Heartland Coalition) questions why the smaller factions took the brunt of the releases. Obama tries to answer but another ‘Bring Back Dawn’ chant erupts. Then a fly bothers Obama. He gets a fly swatter and kills it causing Peta from PETA from the Green World Order to have a conniption. She gives the fly mouth to mouth and rushes it out of the bar.

*

-Andrea Doria, also of the American Heartland Coalition) grills Obama on the cost of the Space Shuttle stunt last week. Obama admits that the stunt will cost PCW millions of dollars and put it in a financial deficit. Andrea: “And just who authorized the idea?” Obama: “The PCW Competition Committee. But-” Andrea: “So typical. The rank and file pay the price for the poor decision making of leadership.” Obama stated that one option they are considering is cutting the divisions in PCW from four to three.

*

-PCW Women’s Champion Kathryn Randall Collins complained that with the release of McGill, former PCW Champion Hallie Burton, and ‘Trailer Park Sweetheart’ Tanya Hardy that she sees the writing on the wall. Obama tries to explain that no decision has been made.

*

-The leader of the Island of Misfit Wrestlers, Movie Classic, then stands and riffs on three classic movies: Network, And Justice For All, and Animal House before leading the Island of Misfit Wrestlers out of the bar while humming the ‘Star Spangled Banner.’

*

-Finally, High Octane Wrestling owner Lee Best barges in demanding to know where Joe Biden is (Biden had made some comments last week about Best’s 40 foot drop from a helicopter in HOW’s War Games’ PPV). Everyone points to the portable closet. Best pushes the portable closet off the stage and through a front row table.

*

-At the end, Best has a beer with the PCW cast.

*

———————

*

PCW WRESTLERS RANKED IN WWR’S TOP 35

*

TOP-10 LADIES E-WRESTLERS
1. Kirsta Lewis HOW, SCCW, TFWF, VWF- 35 pts.
2. Michelle Masters FWO- 23 pts.
3. Bobbinette Carey HOW- 18 pts.
4. Karina Wolfenden FWO- 16 pts.
5. Olivia Quinn Siberian Wrestling- 15 pts.
6. Kathryn Randall Collins PCW- 14 pts.
7. Mary Lynn Mayweather FWO- 12 pts.
8. Callie Urban FWO- 11 pts.
9. Mad Maddie cWo- 10 pts.
10. Miss USA HOW (??)- 8 pts.

*

TOP TEN E-WRESTLING TAG TEAMS
1. Vox Nihili-Alias and Karina Wolfenden FWO- 25 pts.
2. Flying Vergomovs LoC- 20 pts.
3. Ron and Don Connection Hostility- 18 pts.
4. Blitzkrieg Funk LoC- 17 pts.
5. Spike Saunders and Callie Urban FWO- 15 pts.
6. Viking and Andrew O’Reilly WTF- 14 pts.
7. Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit PCW- 13 pts.
8. ‘Superstar’ Vance Jacobs and Rana Venenosa FWO- 12 pts.
9. Team Danger- Stephen Greer and Tyrone Walker DWF- 11 pts.
10. Patrick McCarthy and Scarlett SCCW- 10 pts.

TOP FIFTEEN MEN’S E-WRESTLERS
1. High Flyer FWO- 33 pts.
2. Shawn Hart LoC- 30 pts.
3. Andrei Sorokov Siberian Wrestling- 29 pts.
4. Alias ACW/FWO- 27 pts.
5. ‘The All-Star’ Shawn Anderson WTF- 24 pts.
6. Johnny Serious cWo- 23 pts.
7. Max Danger ACW- 22 pts.
8. Aceldama HOW- 20 pts.
9. Trevor Wilson ACW- 19 pts.
10. Viking WTF- 18 pts.
11. O’Beck Bahama PCW- 17 pts.
12. Shane Reynolds HOW- 16 pts.
13. Johnny Donovan Hostility- 15 pts.
14. Shawn FX GWO/OPW- 14 pts.
15. Brian Spaes ACW- 13 pts

Congratulations to all of our wrestlers (and all the wrestlers) listed on the WWR’s ratings.

—————————–

PCW RANKINGS 

PCW CHAMPION: ‘The New Rookie Sensation’ O’Beck Bahama (Progressive Alliance)
CONTENDERS:
#1- A. Tom Bomb (American Patriots)
#2- Starz N. Stripes (Progressive Alliance)
#3- The Right Reverend Randy Richardson (Extreme Neo-Con Alliance)

PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION: Kathryn Randall Collins (Progressive Alliance)
CONTENDERS:
#1- Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (American Patriots)
#2- Mercedes (Independent)
#3- ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas (American Patriots)

PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit (Dick Cheney’s Extreme Neo-Con Alliance)
CONTENDERS:
#1- ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido and Starz N. Stripes (Progressive Alliance)
#2- Jack Schett and Bull Schett (Ron Paul’s New Libertarian Army)
#3- Cadillac and Jaguar (Total Eliminators)

PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION: SNAFU (Independent)
CONTENDERS:
#1- Newt Tron Bomb (American Patriots)
#2- American Trucker (American Heartland Coalition)
#3- Dave the Mechanic (American Heartland Coalition)

———————-

UPCOMING EVENTS @ www.politicalwrestling.wordpress.com :
7/1- PCW Extreme Political TV
No Newsline or shows until 7/15
7/15- PCW Extreme Political TV
7/19- PCW Newsline with Gina Ramsey
7/22- PCW Extreme Political TV
7/26- PCW Newsline with Gina Ramsey
7/29-PCW Night of Champions

2009-2010 MAJOR EVENTS
9/27-PCW Lock and Load 4
11/9-PCW Night of Champions
12/27-PCW Christmas
1/27-PCW Night of Champions
3/7-PCW Weapons of Mass Political Destruction 3
4/21-PCW Night of Champions
6/6-PCW Loose Cannons Unleashed 6

———————

Other political stories: CNN Political Ticker, CNN Political Ticker, CNN Political Ticker, NRO, PA 2010, The Hill, The Hill,

6/24-Political Championship Wrestling: PCW Extreme Political TV

Jack Schett and Bull Schett (Ron Paul’s New Libertarian Army) vs. The Total Eliminators
PCW CEO Barack Obama’s “State of PCW” Address
Replay: O’Beck Bahama vs. Starz N. Stripes for the PCW Title- November 4th, 2008 at PCW Extreme Election Night
 
————————————————-
 
Last week on PCW Extreme Political TV: 

Red Shirt Guy vs. Andy Dooney
This match gets spread out throughout the show. Red Shirt Guy is a Star Trek knock off. He takes control of the match and then inexplicatively leaves the ring. He’s last seen getting in a limo.

A quick special announcement about PCW re-signing with P-SPAN for their Sunday night shows.

Keith Olbermann’s Super Special Comment
Olbermann comes out and vents his spleen over the whole David Letterman/Sarah Palin matter. Def Leppard’s ‘Rock, Rock Til You Drop’ suddenly plays and PCW’s answer to ECW’s 911, Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, comes out and chokeslams Olbermann. Then for good measure, WTF puts KO through a table.

Red Shirt Guy exits the limo and boards a waitIng plane.

Trailer Park Sweetheart’ Tanya Hardy w/The White Trash Posse and Trailer Trash Barbi def. Hallie Burton w/’The Mastermind’ Karl Rove (Dick Cheney’s Extreme Neo-Con Alliance)
Burton controls the early part of the match. But outside interference from Trailer Trash Barbi and the White Trash Posse turn the match around. Hardy takes advantage of some well place baton shots by the WTP and gets the submission win with a figure four leglock.

Red Shirt Guy’s plane takes off for some unknown destination.

Quadruple R w/The God Squad (Dick Cheney’s Extreme Neo-Con Alliance) def. Al Cahall w/Nic Koteen and ‘The Princess of Political Incorrectness’ Andrea Doria (American Heartland Coalition)
Quadruple R is in born again mode with the God Squad ringside. In a match that features interference from Rev. Robertson (using the ribbon you’d find in a hymnal to keep your place to choke Cahall), Rev. Rick Warren (uses his book ‘Purpose Driven Life’ as a weapon), and Rev. Falwell Jr. (distracts Cahall), Quad R hits the Quadruple Plex and gets the win.
Red Shirt Guy’s plane lands at Cape Canaveral. He quickly boards a NASA vehicle and it speeds away.

Joe Biden Promo/THE ULTIMATE HIGH SPOT complete with special cameo by High Octane Wrestling’s Hellcat Kirsta Lewis
Biden addresses the High Octane Television situation and comments made by Lee Best on HOTv’s site. He then offers up a defiant defense of PCW stating that ‘in PCW, titles aren’t won, they’re earned.”

Jake Tapper asks him a question and then Biden’s train goes off the rails. He references Best’s 40 foot fall from a helicopter at High Octane Wrestling’s War Games PPV last week and said that PCW could do one better. Apparently, the Red Shirt Guy vignettes were a set up to what Biden terms ‘the ultimate high spot’- from the space shuttle.

Red Shirt Guy jumps from the shuttle and burns up in the atmosphere. There’s a pretty light show and a cameo appearance by HOW’s Kirsta Lewis. The show ends with everyone going out for a beer.

—————————

6/24-PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV
LOCATION: Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon, Wauseon, OH
HOST: Johnny Suave

Crowd: “PCW!…PCW!…PCW!…” Suave: “Good evening and welcome to P-C-W Extreme…Political TV! I am Johnny Suave and we weren’t supposed to be live right at this moment. But a couple hours before show time, this took place…”

PCW CEO BARACK OBAMA’S OFFICE
Obama finishes up reviewing tonight’s ‘State of PCW’ address. The door bursts open and Cadillac, Jaguar, Jack Schett, and Bull Schett barge in. Obama: “Um…can I help you?” Cadillac: “Mr. CEO. Now that Cadillac, Jaguar, Mercedes, and Porsche Lexus have formed our new group- The New Eliminators, we think it’s not fair to show a match from a couple weeks back when we weren’t…the New Eliminators.” Obama: “I see. And what is your solution to this?” Cadillac: “We want to wrestle the Schetts tonight, live. Like it’s supposed to be. In front of a crowd screaming for or against you.” Obama turns to the Schetts. Obama: “Jack? Bull? Is this okay with you?” Jack: “We kicked their asses two weeks ago. If you don’t think that the Schett Brothers can kick their asses again, then you don’t know Jack Schett.” Obama: “Got it.” He nods his head toward Cadillac. Obama: “Gentlemen. You’ve got your match tonight.”

Suave: “Sooo, it’ll be the Schetts versus The New Eliminators live right here…right after this.”

————————–

From our good friends at High Octane Wrestling….

 

 

 

 

 

 

WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
Issac Sladel vs. Aceldama©

ICON CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
Maximillian Kael vs. Shane Reynolds©

HALL OF FAME RESPECT IS EARNED MATCH
Mark O’Neal vs. Darkwing

——————————————-

“Wake up…wake up
Wake up…wake up”

Suave: “AND HERE COMES THE SCHETT BROTHERS!” Ron Paul and Aimee Allen lead Jack, Bull, Horst, and Hans Gruber down the aisle.

“Good morning America! Rise and Shine….

“Ron Paul! Save our constitutional rights
Ron Paul! We’re not gonna give up the fight
Ron Paul! Start a revolution
and break down illegal institutions

The Schetts climb into the ring.

The opening riffs of ZZ Top’s ‘Sharp Dressed Man’ plays. The original ZZ Top Eliminator arrives at the front of Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon. The door opens and Mercedes exits. She helps Porsche Lexus out of the car.

“Clean shirt, new shoes
And I dont know where I am goin to.
Silk suit, black tie,
I dont need a reason why.
They come runnin just as fast as they can
Coz every girl crazy bout a sharp dressed man.“

Mercedes and Porsche Lexus reach into the car and pull out Cadillac and Jaguar. They lead him to the ring.

“Top coat, top hat,
I dont worry coz my wallets fat.
Black shades, white gloves,
Lookin sharp and lookin for love.
They come runnin just as fast as they can
Coz every girl grazy bout a sharp dressed man“

MATCH #1
JACK SCHETT and BULL SCHETT w/Horst Schett and their pet dog- Hans Gruber, the Extreme German Schnauzer (Ron Paul’s New Libertarian Army)
vs.
CADILLAC and JAGUAR w/Mercedes and Porsche Lexus (The Total Eliminators)
Suave: “All right! Here we go.” Crowd: “TOTAL ELIMINATION! (clap, clap clap-clap-clap) TOTAL ELIMINATION! (clap, clap clap-clap-clap)…” Suave: “Apparently, they are calling the move ‘Total Elimination’ tonight. There’s the bell. Jack Schett and Cadillac will start.” Crowd: “LET’S GO SCHETTS! (clap, clap clap-clap-clap) LET’S GO SCHETTS! (clap, clap clap-clap-clap)” Suave: “Jack jabs at Cadillac. Cadillac ducks two haymakers and slides behind him. Gutwrench suplex…nicely executed. Headscissors now by Cadillac! But Jack powers out…watch out…he turns right into the path of a missile drop kick by Jaguar. Scoop slam by Cadillac. Jaguar’s back up on the top ropes…diving headbutt! Cadillic covers. One…two…Jack kicks out.” Jack quickly to the corner and tags Bull in. Suave: “Bull in now. He goes for the Irish Whip…Cadillac reverse and sends Bull for the ride…inverted atomic drop by Cadilliac! Russian leg sweep! Caddy covers again. One…two…and Bull kicks out.

Bull backs into the corner and tags Jack back in. Cadillac tags in Jaguar. Suave: “Jack charges…single leg takedown by Jaguar. Double foot stomp…that’ll get Jack’s attention. Bull rolls out and discusses strategy with Jack. Jaguar runs at both men.” Jaguar goes for a hurricanrana. Jack moves. Bull grabs Jaguar’s legs while he’s upside down and slams them on the ringpost. Suave: “Jaguar’s caught….now he’s in the tree of woe! Bull sets up the chair…there’s goes Jack…” *CLANG* Suave: “HOLY CRAP!” Jaguar topples down. Jack covers. One…two…NO! There’s Cadillac to make the save. Rights by Cadillac and Jack escapes through the ropes to think things over. Unfortunately, he’s giving Jaguar precise time to recover.” Jack back in. Tag to Bull. Jaguar tags Cadillac back in. Suave: “Lockup, Bull powers Cadillac to the corner. Kick to the gut. That’ll knock your wind out. Another big shot.” Cadillac wobbles in the corner. Jaguar in and runs the ropes. He goes for a high crossbody and eats a big boot to the face. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! JAGUAR CAUGHT THAT ONE FLUSH! Cadillac with a clothesline…ah no go. Bull sends him for the ride…Cadillac ducks a clothesline…flying forearm! Cadillac landed it perfectly. He’s raining punches down on Bull…Jack’s in…OH! BIG slap to the chest sends Cadillac flying.”

Cadillac holds his chest. Jaguar crawls out of the ring. Suave: “The Schetts in control right now. Bull tries a right…blocked by Cadillac. He tries some of his own. Bull shakes them off. Cadillac tries a kick…Bull’s got the leg. OW! ATOMIC DROP! GERMAN SUPLEX! CADILLAC LANDED HARD ON HIS NOGGIN AND HE’S IN TROUBLE! COVER! ONE…TWO…HOLY CRAP!” Jaguar hits a Missile drop kick that snaps Bull’s head back. Cadillac goes down on all four behind Bull. Suave: “HERE IT COMES…” Jaguar whips around and nails Bull on the button with a kick and sends him over Cadillac. Suave: “TOTAL ELIMINATION! CADILLAC COVERS! ONE…JACK SCHETT’S BACK IN THE RING AND PULLS HIM OFF! *CRACK* JAGUAR WITH A SPINNING BACK KICK! JACK’S DOWN! CADILLAC PULLS BULL’S LEGS APART….OH MY! LEGDROP TO THE JEWELS! COVER! ONE…TWO…HORST SCHETT MAKES THE SAVE AND NOW IT’S THREE AGAINST TWO!”

Horst throws Cadillac out of the ring to the floor. Hans Gruber pounces and latches on to Cadillac’s hand with its jaws. Suave: “HANS GRUBER- THE EXTREME GERMAN SCHNAUZER HAS CADILLAC’S HAND IN HIS JAWS. JACK AND BULL LIFT JAGUAR UP…DOUBLE CHOKE SLAM!” Jack pulls Jaguar towards the corner. Suave: “IT’S TIME! BULL’S ON THE TOP ROPE AND HE’S PUTTING A BRICK IN THE BACK OF HIS TRUNKS!” Bull leaps backwards in a sitting position and lands on Jaguar’s chest. Suave: “SCHETT-BRICK! SCHETT-BRICK! BULL COVERS. ONE…TWO…THREE!”

WINNER: JACK and BULL SCHETT

Suave: “THE SCHETT’S PULL IT OUT IN THE END! BUT GOING INTO OUR NEXT SEASON, YOU’D BETTER KEEP AN EYE ON THE TOTAL ELIMINATORS…Oh, crap…here comes Hans Gruber…uh…we’ll be right back…(to dog)…go away!…shoo!…shoo!…”

——————————

CATCH THE LATEST NEWS ON PCW AND OTHER GREAT E-FEDERATIONS AT THESE SITES:

E-Wresting Torch- E-Fed Television, Pay-Per-View, and Classic show reviews

E-Wrestling Magazine- The home for all the latest e-federation news throughout the country

E-Wrestling Nexus- The newest E-Wrestling hotspot to catch up on the latest news, cards, and e-wrestlers in the e-wrestling world

————————————-

*flute and clarinet flourish*

Two men come out and unroll a white carpet to the ring steps. Dancers then dance. Ballet dancers…ballet? Little children walk up the white carpet and drop rose petals. Someone lets loose some pigeons…we’re still not sure just how they’ll get out of the building. The crowd stands and lets out a loud ovation as PCW CEO Barack Obama appears. Behind Obama, two aides wheel out a portable closet that presumably has his Aide de Camp Joe Biden inside.

STATE OF PCW ADDRESS
Obama: “Thank you. Thank you very much. Ladies and gentlemen, I am here tonight to reassure everyone that the state of PCW is strong!” Standing ovation follows- especially enthusiastic is the Progressive Alliance side and their supporters. Obama: “However. That doesn’t mean that we don’t face some challenges. But we’ll get to that in a moment.

“Over the past nine months, PCW has produced over 85 televised wrestling shows. Our viewership is up dramatically over the past six months. That is a testiment to the hard work that goes on behind the scenes. Give it up for our PCW Competition Committee-” Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Steny Hoyer (Progressive Alliance) and Mitch McConnell, John Boehner (American Patriots) stand. Pelosi, in particular, looks regal as she turns to the audience. Crowd: “BOOOOOOOOOOO!” Pelosi- not so regal looking after the reaction.

Obama: “And most importantly, the people who actually do the dirty work and book the shows. Head Booker Enrico Palazzo and until recently, Dawn McGill-” A roaring ovation interrupts Obama. Crowd: “BRING DAWN BACK! BRING DAWN BACK!” Obama: “I acknowledge the years that Dawn McGill faithfully served PCW and-” Crowd: “BRING DAWN BACK! BRING DAWN BACK!” Obama: “All right…all right. Let’s talk about our financial situation…for the first time ever, PCW faces a significant financial deficit. And that is why you saw the releases that took place yesterday.”

-PCW Security Director Dawn McGill
-Former PCW Women’s Champion Hallie Burton
-’Trailer Park Sweetheart’ Tanya Hardy and the White Trash Posse
-Trailer Trash Barbi
-Blue Dog D
-RINO
-Average Joe
-Joe the Plumber
-Jimmy from SoCal
-Snott Flemmstein
-Dr. Ivan Rectum-Fighting Proctologist

American Trucker (American Heartland Coalition) stands up. AT: “Excuse me, Mr. CEO. But why the mass cuts? It seems a little odd that the smaller factions took the brunt of it. Why Average Joe?” Obama: “Look, we had to make some tough choices. No doubt about it. We also let go Dawn McGill-” Crowd: “BRING DAWN BACK! BRING DAWN BACK!” Obama: “…After Domination Inc. fell apart, we felt we didn’t need a Security Director any more and she came with a hefty price tag-” Crowd: “BRING DAWN BACK! BRING DAWN BACK! BRING DAWN BACK! BRING DAWN BACK!” Pelosi stands up and faces the crowd. Pelosi: “Would you all just knock it off! You’re lucky we even decided to let you in to see this in the first pla-” Crowd: “SHUT THE **** UP! SHUT THE **** UP! SHUT THE **** UP!” Suave: “Yeah. Nice one, Nancy.” Pelosi quickly sits back down.

Obama: “Look, it’s not just…” A fly buzzes around Obama’s face. He waves his hand at it. Obama: “…it’s not just personnel…” The fly continues to bother Obama. He waves at it again. Obama: “…um…it’s not just personnel per se who’s going…excuse me.” Obama reaches down and produces a fly swatter. *SHWACK* Obama: “Got him!” An earth-shattering shriek drowns out everything else. Peta from PETA shoots up from her seat. Peta: “NOOOOOOOOOOO!” She runs up and begins to give the fly mouth to mouth resuscitation. She scoops it up in her hand and runs out of the bar. Obama: “O-kay. Not just personnel will be affected. PCW will probably have to drop a division-” Crowd: “BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

Andrea Doria (American Heartland Coalition) stands. Andrea: “I have a question. Just how much did that little stunt last week with the Space Shuttle cost us?” Obama: “Candidly, millions. From paying NASA to paying the family of Red Shirt Guy for his death, PCW is in a bit of financial trouble right now.” Andrea: “And just who authorized the idea?” Obama: “The PCW Competition Committee. But-” Andrea: “So typical. The rank and file pay the price for the poor decision making of leadership.”

PCW Women’s Champion Kathryn Randall Collins (Progressive Alliance) stands next. KRC: “You released Dawn McGill. You released Hallie Burton- a former PCW Women’s champion. You released ‘Trailer Park Sweetheart’ Tanya Hardy not one week after a breakthrough victory. I see the writing on the wall, Mr. Obama, and it’s a shame. PCW is one of the few federations that actually takes women’s wrestling seriously and operated it as a legitimate, competitive division.” Obama: “Kathryn, we have NOT made any decisions on any division. McGill, Burton, and Hardy’s release, through regrettable, were prudent business-”

Movie Classic (Island of Misfit Wrestlers) stands. Movie Classic: “Mr. Obama. I’M MAD AS HELL AND I’M NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANY MORE!” Obama: “Movie, I appreciate your passion and assure you that I will comtemplate-” Movie Classic: “I’M IN CONTEMPT! YOU’RE IN CONTEMPT!” Obama: “No, no. Comtemplate. Not contempt-” Movie Classic: “AND YOU’RE IN CONTEMPT! AND YOU’RE IN CONTEMPT! AND YOU’RE IN CONTEMPT!” Obama: “I did NOT say you were in contempt! I understand-” Movie Classic: “But, Mr. Obama. You can’t hold a whole fraternity responsible for the behavior of a few, sick twisted individuals…” Obama: “Fraternity? What are you talking about?” Movie Classic: “…For if you do, then shouldn’t we blame the whole fraternity system? And if the whole fraternity system is guilty, then isn’t this an indictment of our educational institutions in general?…” Obama: “Okay, that’s enough.” Movie Classic: “…I put it to you, Mr. Obama – isn’t this an indictment of our entire American society? Well, you can do whatever you want to us, but we’re not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America. Gentlemen!” Movie Classic leads the Island of Misfit Wrestlers out of the building, all humming the Star-Spangled Banner.

Obama: “O-kay. As I was saying, I understand everyone’s passion and we will all have to work together to get through this. Yes, what Joe did last week has caused major headaches for all of us. But he also said something that I completely agree with.”

Our wrestlers may not do death defying, literally unrealistic stunts disguised as extreme spots. We may not have the fancy websites and such. But we have heart. And we put out a damn good product week in and week out. While some federations literally switch off their belts every week, we here in PCW have a different idea. Belts mean something here. O’Beck Bahama, God bless him, chased the former PCW Champion Starz N. Stripes for nine ****ing months before he finally won the PCW Title. Here in PCW, titles aren’t won. They’re earned.”

Obama: “That part of the speech is right on. The rest of Biden’s speech…ah…never mind. So, I ask everyone to hang in there and-” Man’s voice: “WHERE IS HE?” Suave: “HOLY CRAP! I DON’T BELIEVE IT! THAT’S HIGH OCTANE WRESTLING OWNER LEE BEST, ALL BANDAGED UP AND OUT OF THE HOSPITAL, AND HERE AT HACK’S RUSTY NAIL SALOON!” Best: “WHERE THE **** IS HE?” Obama: “Who?” Best: “Don’t play games with me. Kirsta Lewis told me everything about Biden’s speech. Now, where is he?”

Everyone in the building points at the portable closet. Biden’s voice: “Say, why has it gotten all quiet?” Best goes over and pushes the closet towards the edge of the stage. Biden’s voice: “Hey! What’s going on?” Suave: “HE’S NOT GOING TO…HE IS!” With a mighty push, Best shoves the portable closet off the stage. The closet slams into and destroys a front row table. Suave: “HOLY CRAP!” Crowd: “HOLY ****! HOLY ****! HOLY ****!…” Obama throws up his hands. Obama: “Lee, how about a beer?” Best: “Don’t mind if I do.”

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UPCOMING EVENTS @ www.politicalwrestling.wordpress.com :
6/26- PCW Newsline with Gina Ramsey
7/1- PCW Extreme Political TV
No Newsline or shows until 7/15
7/15- PCW Extreme Political TV
7/17- PCW Newsline with Gina Ramsey
7/22- PCW Extreme Political TV
7/24- PCW Newsline with Gina Ramsey
7/29-PCW Night of Champions
…….
9/27-PCW Lock and Load 4
11/9-PCW Night of Champions
12/27-PCW Christmas
1/27-PCW Night of Champions
3/7-PCW Weapons of Mass Political Destruction 3
4/21-PCW Night of Champions
6/6-PCW Loose Cannons Unleashed 6

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(PCW Extreme Election Night 2008, November 4th, 2008)

*YEEEEEEE-AHHHHHHHHH!*

Suave: “Of course, that’s the unmistakable calling card of one, ‘American Screamer’ Howard Dean.” Dean, Nancy Pelosi, Steny Hoyer and Harry Reid (Progressive Alliance) come to the ring. O’Beck Bahama and Barack Obama follow. Suave: “We are minutes away from the PCW Title match. O’Beck Bahama is here. Now, we wait for the PCW Champion.”

GEORGE W’S OFFICE
George W works on paperwork. He aide de camp Dick fumes. Dick: “I still say there’s no reason why we shouldn’t be out there for this match. We are the leaders of the American Patriots.” W.: “Dick, I’m not worried about it. This is what John McCain wanted.” Dick: “John McCain can kiss my ass!” Dick stomps out.

Suave: “Well. Dick seems a little bent.” American Patriots John Boehner and Mitch McConnell lead the way for McCain and the PCW Champion Starz N. Stripes. Suave: Starz N. Stripes’ title reign is over eight months. Can he extend it even further tonight? We will find out soon enough.”

Both men in the ring now. Charlene Ann Beckworth climbs in to do the ring announcing. Charlene Ann: “LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. THIS MATCH IS FOR THE PCW CHAMPIONSHIP! IN THIS CORNER, SECONDED BY ‘THE NATURAL’ BARACK OBAMA, HE’S THE ‘NEW ROOKIE SENSATION’ O’BECK BAHAMA!” Roughly half the crowd stands and cheers on Bahama. Charlene Ann: “AND IN THE OTHER CORNER, SECONDED BY ‘STRAIGHT SHOOTIN’’ JOHN McCAIN, HE’S THE ‘ORIGINAL ROOKIE SENSATION’ AND THE CURRENT PCW CHAMPION- STARZ N. STRIPES!” The other half stand and cheer. Suave: “You can feel the buzz in the air. We could have history in the making here tonight.”

BACKSTAGE
PCW Owner Bubba Jackson’s office. The two Westville city policeman stand in place.

Suave: “Okay, still no change with Bubba. We’re about ready to go. Starz and Bahama for the PCW Title.

MATCH #9 PCW Championship Match-11/4/08
O’BECK BAHAMA w/Barack Obama (Progressive Alliance)
vs. STARZ N. STRIPES © w/John McCain (American Patriots)
The referee calls for the bell. Suave: “Here we go!” Staredown as O’Beck and Starz circle each other. Starz smiles and they finally lock up. Starz goes for a bodyslam. Bahama reverses and pushes Starz to the ring ropes. Starz holds on to the ropes. Circling and staring again. Another lockup. O’Beck shoots Starz’s leg and takes him down. Arm drag into a wrist lock by Bahama. Into the corner. Starz unleashes a right hand that glances off Bahama. Bahama with a side headlock. Irish whip into the ropes. Back body drop by Bahama. Bahama shoots him into the ropes again but this time Starz hangs onto them. Starz slides out of the ring and takes a walk to confer with McCain. .Starz back in and they lock up yet again. Bahama monkey-flips Starz and delivers the boots to the gut. Out of nowhere, Starz slaps on the American Star and Fuji Arm Bar submission hold. Suave: “THIS COULD BE IT!” Bahama grabs the ropes and hold on to them for dear life. The referee breaks the hold.

Starz confers with John McCain. Bahama slingshots himself across the ring and crushes Starz against the steel barricade. Irish whip into the barricade on the other side. Another Irish whip from Bahama. He ducks for a backdrop but Starz kicks him in the mush. Starz starts laying in right hands and pushes Bahama out through the ropes. Bahama quickly climbs back up on the apron. Starz charges. Bahama ducks and back body drops the PCW champion over the ropes and through a ring table. Suave: HOLY CRAP!” O’Beck wastes no time in climbing the top rope and splashing Starz on the floor. Crowd: “PCW…PCW!” Starz crawls out of the wreckage but Bahama follows up with an Irish whip into the steel guardrail. Bahama grabs a chair and waffles Starz with it. Starz slumps to the ground. Bahama climbs the ring steps. Suave: “MISSILE DROP KICK FROM THE STEPS! STARZ CAUGHT IT FLUSH ON HIS JAW AND HE IS DAZED!” Bahama pulls Starz up. Superkick! Starz falls backwards and hits the floor hard. Barack Obama urges Bahama on. Bahama presses the attack, grabbing another steel folding chair and pastes the champion in the face with it. He throws the chair on the floor. Suave: “DDT ON THE CHAIR! THE PCW CHAMPION IS IN BIG, BIG TROUBLE. HE DOESN’T KNOW WHERE HE’S AT!” Bahama drags Starz back into the ring. Bahama goes for the win. Suave: “1…2…NO! BAHAMA GAVE HIM TOO MUCH TIME AND STARZ KICKS OUT!” Bahama goes for another cover. Suave: “NO! STARZ KICKS OUT AGAIN! BAHAMA MAY HAVE MADE A HUGE MISTAKE IN NOT TRYING TO PIN THE CHAMPION ON THE FLOOR!” Starz tries to fight back. Bahama lifts him for a jack-knife power bomb. Starz flips through and shoves the New Rookie Sensation into the ropes. Wild right by Starz misses badly. Bahama trips Starz and he lands throat first on the top ring rope. Running splash takes the air out of Starz. Bahama covers. Suave: “1…2…McCAIN SAVES HIM! McCAIN RAN OVER AND PUT THE CHAMPION’S FOOT ON THE ROPES!” Bahama drives Starz to the canvas with a running power bomb. The crowd begins to anticipate a possible title change. Suave: “THIS COULD BE THE NIGHT! BAHAMA COVERS…” A huge roar erupts. Suave: “IT’S SARAH PALIN! SHE’S IN THE RING! *THWACK* HOLY CRAP! *THWACK* OH! SHE NAILED BAHAMA WITH HER HOCKEY STICK!” Bahama staggers. Suave: “TINA FEY! TINA FEY’S OUT HERE! SHE GOES UP TO PALIN…SHE TAKES THE HOCKEY STICK AWAY. AND NOW, FEY’S LEAVING! PALIN’S CHASING HER.”

Standing drop kick by Starz drives Bahama into the corner. Suave: “SARAH PALIN HAS TOTALLY CHANGED THE COMPLEXION OF THE MATCH!” An newly energized Starz throws lefts and rights. Snap mare take down. Enzuigiri by Starz and then a backpack stunner. Bahama blocks a suplex attempt but eats a flying knee. Starz charges and shoulder blocks Bahama into the ropes. Bahama walks right into a Ricola bomb. Cover. 1…2.. Bahama gets the shoulder up. Bahama gets crotched on the top rope and schoolboyed for another two. Starz goes for a Texas Cloverleaf but Starz rolls through it. Starz hits a Michinoku Driver. Starz hits a fireman’s carry takedown and then a chinlock. Bahama escapes the hold and pushes Starz back. Right by Bahama. Right by Starz. Right by Bahama. Right by Starz. Irish whip by Starz reversed by Bahama followed by another reversal. Bahama misses a leg drop. Starz back suplexes Bahama. Bahama wildly charges. Starz sidesteps. Bahama bounces off the ropes and Starz delivers a Death Valley Driver. Cover. Suave: “One…Obama breaks the count this time.” Starz hits a tilt-a-whirl suplex. Starz goes for a piledriver; Bahama kicks him low. Suave: “That’ll stop your momentum in a big hurry.” Bahama with rights. Irish whip into the ropes. Bahama ducks the lariat. Lou Thesz Press by Starz. He pummels Bahama on the canvas. Irish whip by Starz. Belly to belly suplex. Bahama bounces off the canvas. Suave: “STARZ WITH THE MOMENTUM AND…HE WANTS A TABLE!” McCain slides a table into the ring and Stara sets it up. Rights by Starz. Then he sets Bahama up. Suave: “HE’S LINING BAHAMA UP…” The PCW crowd roars again. Suave: “SARAH PALIN! .SARAH PALIN’S BACK OUT!…OR IS IT TINA FEY?” Palin climbs up to the ring apron. Suave: “I DON’T THINK STARZ’S SURE IF IT REALLY HER OR NOT.” McCain’s confused. Suave: “STARZ PULLS BAHAMA UP AND HOLDS HIM…HE’S TELLING PALIN OR FEY OR WHOMEVER TO GO AHEAD.” Palin swings. Bahama ducks. Starz catches the stick with his hand. He throws Bahama out of the ring. Suave: “STARZ IS PISSED. HE FLIPS HER INTO THE RING!” The crowd stands and cheers. Suave: “HE’S NOT! YES HE IS.” Starz powerbombs her through the table. Suave: “HOLY CRAP!” Tina Fey runs out dressed as Palin. She winks at Starz and leaves. Suave: “OH MY GOD! STARZ JUST POWER-BOMBED SARAH PALIN THROUGH A TABLE!” Starz looks at the unconscious Palin lying among the ruins of the table in abject disbelief. McCain is stunned. Starz checks on her. Bahama claws his way back into the ring and blindsides the distracted Starz from behind.

Suave: “BAHAMA BACK ON THE ATTACK!” Kicks to the stomach. Rights by Bahama. Irish whip. Suave: “SOMERSET PLANCHA BY BAHAMA! BULLDOG BY BAHAMA! HE’S CALLING FOR A LADDER!” Obama slides a ladder in. Suave: “Bahama with Starz. DDT ONTO THE LADDER!” Crowd: “PCW…PCW!” Bahama puts the ladder over him and spins like a propeller and decks Starz. Bahama throws the ladder at Starz. Suave: “STARZ IS HURT AGAIN! HE FALLS BACK INTO THE CORNER!” Bahama places the ladder on Starz and goes to the opposite corner. He sprints across and plasters the ladder into the champ. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! THIS COULD BE IT!” Crowd: “This match rocks! This match rocks!” Suave: “BAHAMA GOING FOR THE PIN……IT’S JOE THE PLUMBER! JOE THE PLUMBER!” Joe the Plumber runs down and climbs on the ring apron. Bahama steps away from Starz and walks towards Joe the Plumber. Suave: “WHAT IS HE DOING? BAHAMA IS THIS CLOSE TO BECOMING THE PCW CHAMPION…WAIT A MINUTE! SOMEONE JUST RAN UP TO JOE THE PLUMBER!” A guy pulls Joe the Plumber off the edge of the ring and swings a tire iron at him. Suave: “IT’S KGO-SAN FRANCISCO RADIO HOST CHARLES KAREL BOULEY! HE SAID ON THE RADIO THAT HE WANTED TO KILL JOE THE PLUMBER. GUESS WHAT? HE’S TRYING TO KILL JOE THE PLUMBER!”

*Def Leppard’s ‘Rock, Rock Til You Drop blares*

A deafening noise drowns out the music. Suave: “YES! IT’S PCW’S EXTREME EQUALIZER- WHISKEY…TANGO…FOXTROT!” Crowd: “WHAT THE F***! WHAT THE F***!” Suave: “HE RUNS UP AND GRABS BOULEY!” WTF lifts and chokeslams Bouley on the floor. Suave: “CHOKESLAM! CHOKESLAM! JOE THE PLUMBER DOWN. SARAH PALIN DOWN. STARZ IS ABOUT DONE!” Bahama rolls up Starz. Suave: “ONE…TWO…NO! McCAIN BREAKS THE COUNT! McCAIN LITERALLY LEAPED ACROSS THE RING TO STOP THE REFEREE FROM COUNTING OUT STARZ!” Bahama climbs up the corner turnbuckle. 450 Splash on Starz. Again, he covers. Suave: “ONE…TWO…AGAIN! McCAIN AGAIN STOPS THE COUNT!” McCain stumbles back to his corner. Bahama picks up Starz and power bombs him. Cover. Suave: “ONE…TWO…NOOOOO! McCAIN AGAIN SAVES STARZ! UNBELIEVEABLE!” Obama pounds on the ring canvas. Everyone is standing up in the building. Suave: “THIS CROWD IS GOING NUTS! JOHN McCAIN HAS SAVED THREE PINFALLS! HOLD ON. BAHAMA WANTS A TABLE SET UP OUTSIDE THE RING.” Obama quickly sets up a table. Bahama picks up Starz. He runs towards the ropes and heaves him over. Starz destroys the table. Suave: “AWESOME BOMB! AWESOME BOMB! AWESOME BOMB! BAHAMA TO THE TOP ROPE. 45O SPLASH! HE COVERS. ONE…WAIT! WHAT’S DICK CHENEY DOING. HE RUNS INTO McCAIN…” The bell rings. Suave: “THAT WAS THE BELL? WAIT A MINUTE…CHARLENE ANN BECKWORTH IN THE RING.”

Charlene Ann: “LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! THE WINNER BY PINFALL AND NEW PCW-” The deafening crowd drowned out the rest of what of Charlene Ann said. Suave: “HE DID IT! HE DID IT! O’BECK BAHAMA IS THE NEW PCW CHAMPION!” Crowd: “PCW…PCW…PCW…PCW!…” Suave: “LET’S LOOK AT THIS FROM ANOTHER VIEW. HOLY CRAP! McCAIN WAS TRYING TO GET OVER TO STARZ BUT DICK ACCIDENTLY TRIPPED HIM UP. THERE’S THE THREE COUNT.”

BACKSTAGE
PCW Owner Bubba Jackson’s office. Bubba leaves the office and heads towards the ring escorted by the Westville police. Suave: “HERE’S COMES BUBBA JACKSON! IT’S TIME!”

Crowd: “PCW…PCW…PCW…” Obama, Bahama, and the rest of the Progressive Alliance celebrate in the ring. Bahama holds up the PCW title belt. Suave: “WHAT AN INCREDIBLE MATCH! THIS MAY HAVE BEEN THE BEST MATCH IN PCW HISTORY! O’BECK BAHAMA DEFEATS STARZ N. STRIPES AND BECOMES THE NEW PCW CHAMPION”

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Other political news:
CNN Political Ticker, CNN Political Ticker, If You Write It, Barack Obamafan, MD Politics Watch, Executive Office News, America’s Right,

WordPress.com Political Blogger Alliance

PCW Releases Several Wrestlers

Political Championship Wrestling has come to terms on releases for the following wrestlers:

-PCW Security Director Dawn McGill
-Former PCW Women’s Champion Hallie Burton
-’Trailer Park Sweetheart’ Tanya Hardy and the White Trash Posse
-Trailer Trash Barbi
-Blue Dog D
-RINO
-Average Joe
-Joe the Plumber
-Jimmy from SoCal
-Snott Flemmstein
-Dr. Ivan Rectum-Fighting Proctologist

PCW’s roster page has been updated accordingly.  PCW CEO Barack Obama will have more on the recent cost cutting tomorrow night on PCW Extreme Political TV.

Preview of 6/24 PCW Extreme Political TV

This Wednesday on PCW Extreme Political TV:

-The Jack Schett and Bull Schett vs. Cadillac and Jaguar match bumped from last week’s show.

-PCW CEO Barack Obama will deliver the ‘State of PCW’ Address.

-Replay of PCW Champion O’Beck Bahama’s title win last November at Extreme Election Night 2008.

-Also, on the heels of High Octane Wrestling’s Kirsta Lewis making an appearance here in PCW, rumor has it that HOW’s Lee Best, already in a foul mood over being tossed from a helicopter 40 feet off the ground, found out about Joe Biden’s remarks last week and may confront the aide de camp to Barack Obama Wednesday night on Extreme Political TV.

It’s the final original PCW Extreme Political TV show until July 15th. Tune in for all the exciting action.

6/19-Political Championship Wrestling Newsline

PCW Newsline with Gina Ramsey

-Special Thanks to High Octane Wrestling’s Kirsta Lewis
-Recap of PCW Extreme Political TV
-PCW Ring Announcer Charlene Ann Beckworth Update
-PCW Rankings, Upcoming Schedule

Hey y’all. It’s Gina Ramsey here with this week’s PCW newsline.

 

First off, Political Championship Wrestling owes a big thank you to this performer…

…HOW’s Kirsta Lewis who did a cameo for us Wednesday night on PCW Extreme Political TV- she is the first wrestler from another federation to appear on PCW TV. PCW appreciates that Kirsta agreed to appear and our writers had an absolute ball putting that last part of Wednesday night’s show together. PCW hopes you enjoyed it as much as we did in writing it.

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RECAP OF 6/17 PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV

Red Shirt Guy vs. Andy Dooney
This match gets spread out throughout the show.  Red Shirt Guy is a Star Trek knock off.  He takes control of the match and then inexplicatively leaves the ring.  He’s last seen getting in a limo.

A quick special announcement about PCW re-signing with P-SPAN for their Sunday night shows.

Keith Olbermann’s Super Special Comment
Olbermann comes out and vents his spleen over the whole David Letterman/Sarah Palin matter.  Def Leppard’s ‘Rock, Rock Til You Drop’ suddenly plays and PCW’s answer to ECW’s 911, Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, comes out and chokeslams Olbermann.  Then for good measure, WTF puts KO through a table.

Red Shirt Guy exits the limo and boards a waitng plane.

Trailer Park Sweetheart’ Tanya Hardy w/The White Trash Posse and Trailer Trash Barbi def. Hallie Burton w/’The Mastermind’ Karl Rove (Dick Cheney’s Extreme Neo-Con Alliance)
Burton controls the early part of the match.  But outside interference from Trailer Trash Barbi and the White Trash Posse turn the match around.  Hardy takes advantage of some well place baton shots by the WTP and gets the submission win with a figure four leglock.

Red Shirt Guy’s plane takes off for some unknown destination.

Quadruple R w/The God Squad (Dick Cheney’s Extreme Neo-Con Alliance) def. Al Cahall w/Nic Koteen and ‘The Princess of Political Incorrectness’ Andrea Doria (American Heartland Coalition)
Quadruple R is in born again mode with the God Squad ringside.  In a match that features interference from Rev. Robertson (using the ribbon you’d find in a hymnal to keep your place to choke Cahall), Rev. Rick Warren (uses his book ‘Purpose Driven Life’ as a weapon), and Rev. Falwell Jr. (distracts Cahall), Quad R hits the Quadruple Plex and gets the win.

Red Shirt Guy’s plane lands at Cape Canaveral.  He quickly boards a NASA vehicle and it speeds away.

Joe Biden Promo/THE ULTIMATE HIGH SPOT complete with special cameo by High Octane Wrestling’s Hellcat Kirsta Lewis
Biden addresses the High Octane Television situation and comments made by Lee Best on HOTv’s site.  He then offers up a defiant defense of PCW stating that ‘in PCW, titles aren’t won, they’re earned.” 

Jake Tapper asks him a question and then Biden’s train goes off the rails.  He references Best’s 40 foot fall from a helicopter at High Octane Wrestling’s War Games PPV last week and said that PCW could do one better.  Apparently, the Red Shirt Guy vignettes were a set up to what Biden terms ‘the ultimate high spot’- from the space shuttle.

Red Shirt Guy jumps from the shuttle and burns up in the atmosphere.  There’s a pretty light show and a cameo appearance by HOW’s Kirsta Lewis. The show ends with everyone going out for a beer.

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CHARLENE ANN BECKWORTH UPDATE
PCW’s long time ring announcer, Charlene Ann Beckworth, is home after giving birth to a bouncing baby girl earlier this week- Regina Allison Beckworth. Both Mom and child are doing very well and we hope to see Charlene Ann back with PCW in August.

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PCW RANKINGS

PCW WORLD CHAMPION: ‘The New Rookie Sensation’ O’Beck Bahama (Progressive Alliance)
CONTENDERS:
#1- A. Tom Bomb (American Patriots)
#2- Starz N. Stripes (Progressive Alliance)
#3- The Right Reverend Randy Richardson (Extreme Neo-Con Alliance)

PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION: Kathryn Randall Collins (Progressive Alliance)
CONTENDERS:
#1- Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (SarahPac)
#2- Mercedes (Independent)
#3- ‘Trailer Park Sweetheart’ Tanya Hardy (Independent)

PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit (Dick Cheney’s Extreme Neo-Con Alliance)
CONTENDERS:
#1- Cadillac and Jaguar (Independent)
#2- ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido and Starz N. Stripes (Progressive Alliance)
#3- Hunter the Hunter & Grizzly Adam (SarahPAC)

PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION: SNAFU (Independent)
CONTENDERS:
#1- Newt Tron Bomb (American Patriots)
#2- American Trucker (American Heartland Coalition)
#3- Dave the Mechanic (American Heartland Coalition)

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UPCOMING EVENTS @ www.politicalwrestling.wordpress.com :
6/24- PCW Extreme Political TV
6/26- PCW Newsline with Gina Ramsey
7/1- PCW Extreme Political TV
No Newsline or shows until 7/15
7/15- PCW Extreme Political TV
7/17- PCW Newsline with Gina Ramsey
7/22- PCW Extreme Political TV
7/24- PCW Newsline with Gina Ramsey
7/29-PCW Night of Champions
…..
9/27-PCW Lock and Load 4
11/9-PCW Night of Champions
12/27-PCW Christmas
1/27-PCW Night of Champions
3/7-PCW Weapons of Mass Political Destruction 3
4/21-PCW Night of Champions
6/6-PCW Loose Cannons Unleashed 6

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