2/6-PCW Extreme Political TV on P-SPAN

Posted on February 7, 2010 by Political Championship Wrestling

PCW Extreme Political TV (1 Hour)
Roanoke Civic Center
Roanoke, Virginia
Saturday February 6th
Host: Johnny Suave

[Johnny Suave stands in the middle of the ring with his co-host, the ever present life-size cardboard cut-out of Shania Twain.]

Suave: “HELLO, ROANOKE!”

Crowd: “RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! PCW!…PCW!…PCW!”

Suave: “THOSE OF YOU WHO BRAVED THE SNOW, WELCOME TO P-C-W! I AM JOHNNY SUAVE. THIS HOT PIECE OF CARDBOARD IS SHANIA TWAIN! TONIGHT, PCW CHAMPION ‘THE ONE MAN HOLLYWOOD A-LIST’ STONE CHISM FACES HIS BIGGEST TEST YET IN THE JAPANESE SUPER DESTROYER YAMAMOTO TANAKA.”

————-

BACKSTAGE
[Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, and Rahm Emanuel are having an animated conversation.]

Pelosi: “There is NO way that the Tanaka-Chism match can happen, Rahm. We can’t lose the PCW Title now.”

Emanuel: “And what do you suggest I do?”

Reid: “Something. Anything? Tanaka will destroy Chism just like the Republicans under George W. Bush tried to destroy PCW.”

*flute and clarinet flourish*

[Two men come out and unroll a white carpet to the ring steps. Dancers then dance. Ballet dancers…ballet? Little children walk up the white carpet and drop rose petals. Someone lets loose some pigeons…we’re still not sure just how they’ll get out of the building. The crowd stands as PCW CEO Barack Obama appears. Behind Obama, two aides wheel out a banged up portable closet with his Aide de Camp Joe Biden inside.]

Obama: “Democrats! Tonight, PCW Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism, faces his sternest test yet. There are those who would have this match cancelled. Let me be clear. Just like I am not going to walk away from health insurance for PCW workers, I’m not going to walk away on this challenge. I’m not going to walk away on any challenge.”

Democrats: “RAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

Obama: “However, whether we like it or not, we can’t solve all of our problems alone. So we need to extend our hands to the other side — we’ve been working on it — because if we’re going to effect change, we’re going to have to change the tone. I know we’ve gone through a tough year. But we’ve gone through tougher.”

Democrats: “RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!”

Obama: “My door is always open. But I urge members of all sides: Do not oppose good ideas just because it’s good politics to do so. The proposals I’ve outlined are not Democratic or Republican, liberal or conservative. They are pro-PCW, they are pro-growth, and they are pro-job.”

Democrats: “RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!”

Obama: “So let’s go out tonight and fight the good fight. Yamamoto Tanaka is a formidable opponent. But working together, we can overcome the challenge. Thank you.”

Democrats: “RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!”

——————-

Suave: “THE PCW CEO BARACK OBAMA DELIVERS A STIRRING PEP TALK TO THE DEMOCRATS. AGAIN, TONIGHT. IT’S PCW CHAMPION STONE CHISM (Democrats) AGAINST YAMAMOTO TANAKA FOR THE PCW TITLE. LET’S GO TO THE RING FOR TONIGHT’S FIRST MATCH!”

[The lovely, legly Kimber Marshall climbs into the ring to introduce the first match.]

Kimber: “Our first match is a one fall, fifteen minute time limit. In the ring accompanied by Colonel DeBauchery, weighing in at a combined 703 pounds, the team of Al Cahall and the Drunken Luchadors- Don and Dan Martini, D.W.I!”

[The Drunken Luchadors guzzle down a bottle of Jack Daniels and then smash the empty bottles over their heads.]

Crowd: “DWI!…DWI!…DWI!…”

Suave: “Well, it’s not conventional by any stretch. But it seems to work for them.”

Kimber: “And their opponents tonight, walking up with Peta from PETA, at a combined 721 pounds, ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee, GreenPete, and PeaceNick, they are…THE GREEN…WORLD…ORDER!”

Crowd: “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

Kimber: “Your referee is Davey Keels.”

MATCH #1
Al Cahall, Drunken Luchadors Dan and Don Martini w/Colonel DeBauchery (DWI)
vs. ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee, GreenPete, and PeaceNick w/Peta from PETA (Green World Order)

MATCH SUMMARY
Lee comes from behind and bulldogs Cahall. Lee stands up. The Extreme Vegan applies an arm wrench to Cahall. Now Cahall standing. Cahall with a headscissors takeover on Lee. Cahall leg lariats Lee, sending him to the mat. The Extreme Vegan gets up. Cahall drags Lee to the floor. Cahall takes Lee down with a knee. Don Martini in the ring with GreenPete. GreenPete tries to kick him in the back of the head but misses when Don collapses in the ring. GreenPete lifts him up an holds him for a big kick from Brock Cole Lee. Cahall chokes GreenPete against the middle rope and GreenPete fires back with some punches before Dan goes to the eyes and stops the momentum.

Referee Keels manages to get the Martinis and GreenPete out of the ring since Cahall and Lee are the legal men in. Cahall gets taken down with a corkscrew armdrag and Lee transitions it into an armbar. Lee chops and then mule kicks Cahall. Lee goes for a Powerbomb but Cahall dodges. The Extreme Vegan hooks Cahall in the abdominal stretch. Don Martini in the ring and breaks the hold. Lee superkicks Don. Cahall hits Lee with the back of his elbow. Cahall executes a headlock takedown but Lee hits a kneeling headbutt to Cahall’s groin. The Extreme Vegan goes for a pin. Davey Keels counts…1 …2 Cahall kicks out.

Lee tags in GreenPete. Cahall tags in Don Martini. Don tries a HUGE splash on GreenPete and misses badly, nearly bouncing all the way up to the roof. GreenPete Irish whips Don into the corner. Martini faceplants and then takes another pair of kicks to the back of the head. GreenPete goes to the gut, but Don goes to the eyes and tags Dan in. Dan hits the ropes awkwardly, GreenPete catches him and drops him with a BIG-TIME URANAGE!! GreenPete hits the hot tag to Lee and he cleans house, dropping Don Martini and Al Cahall off the apron before sending Dan to the mat with a big reverse elbow and a spinning neckbreaker off the ropes. Cover for two before Colonel DeBauchery breaks it up. Don in, misses Lee, and splashes Dan before getting taken down with a shoulderblock from the Extreme Vegan. Dan gets taken down with a clothesline and Lee tries for a cover. Again, Colonel DeBauchery breaks it up. DeBauchery hits a big bodyslam and heads up to the top rope as the crowd chants for DWI. Lee cuts him off and GreenPete joins in for a double-super powerslam.

Dan tags in Cahall again. Cahall knees The Extreme Vegan and rolls back to his feet. Cahall climbs to the top of the turnbuckle and hits the diving headbutt on Lee. GreenPete in and tries for a power move but is unable to lift Cahall. GreenPete opens up the chair…Cahall is thrown into the ropes…Drop Toe Hold onto the open chair! GreenPete sucks chants start in the crowd. Cahall leg drops Lee. Cahall chants start. Lee gets up. Cahall knifehand chops The Extreme Vegan. Cahall lifts Lee…Southern Comfort! Cahall makes the cover with a reverse cradle. The ref starts the count. …1 …2 …3

WINNER: Al Cahall, The Drunken Luchadors Dan and Don Martini aka…D.W.I.

Post match, The God Squad (Rev. Falwell, Rev. Robertson, and Rev. Warren) make their return to PCW and attack DWI. Jack and Bull Schett of Ron Paul’s New Libertarian Army make the save and chase the God Squad and the GWO away.

——————–

Missouri Valley Wrestling Association

MVWA 20 PREVIEW:

The Pinups (Sabrina James and Alicia Rowe) continue their drive up the MVW Tag Team ladder as they meet Caroline Kelly and Amy Mason in tag team action.

Katie Collins meets MVW Television Champion ‘The Manchester Masterpiece’ Brooke Evans for the title.

The Phenomenon Known As Jill-Berg meets Big Skye.

MVW Champion Miss USA defends her title against Corrina Romanov

Also:

More Angels of Death/Miss USA conflict

The battle between Dame Judith Carmondy and ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin comes to a head.

All this and more Sunday night on MVWA 20 on HOTv.

—————–

PCW RANKINGS

PCW WORLD CHAMPION: ‘Hollywood A-Lister’ Stone Chism (Progressive Alliance)

PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION: SNAFU (American Heartland Coalition)

PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido and ’American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (American Heartland Coalition)

SINGLES CONTENDERS:
#1- Khalid-El (Axis of Evil)
#2- Kevin Scott (American Heartland Coalition)
#3- Bird ‘The Mark’ Ridfych (Independent)
#4- Newt Tron Bomb (American Patriots)
#5- American Trucker (American Heartland Coalition)
#6- ‘The King of Old School Gimmicks’ Baron Von Munchke (Old School Kings)

TAG TEAM CONTENDERS:
#1- Big Oil and Big Electric (Public Utilities)
#2- A. Tom Bomb and Hy Drogen Bomb (American Patriots)
#3- The Goatbusters (Island of Misfit Wrestlers)
#4- Jack and Bull Schett (Ron Paul’s New Libertarian Army)
#5- Midnite Rockin’ Xpress- Bobby Ricky Michaels/Marty Gibson-Lane (Old School Kings)
#6- Raving Rednecks Locke and Loade (American Patriots)

——————

Suave: “We’re back on PCW Extreme Political TV. I’m told that the Green World Order and The God Squad will have a statement to make after this upcoming match. Let’s go back to the ring and Kimber Marshall.”

MATCH #2 for the PCW Television Title
The American Trucker w/Tequila Sheila (American Heartland Coalition) vs. SNAFU w/Dawn McGill (c) (American Heartland Coalition)

[Kimber stands ready to go.]

Kimber: “This next match is for the PCW Television Title. Introducing first, the challenger. Accompanied to the ring by Tequila Sheila, a member of the American Heartland Coalition, he weighs in at at 225 pounds, from Gary, Indiana, he is THE…AMERICAN…TRUCKER!”

Crowd: “RAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!”

*’Eastbound and Down’ by Jerry Reed begins to play*

East bound and down, loaded up and truckin’,
we’re gonna do what they say can’t be done.
We’ve got a long way to go and a short time to get there.
I’m east bound, just watch ol’ “Bandit” run.

Keep your foot hard on the pedal.
Son, never mind them brakes.
Let it all hang out ’cause we got a run to make.
The boys are thirsty in Atlanta
and there’s beer in Texarcana.
And we’ll bring it back no matter what it takes.

Kimber: “His opponent is also a member of the American Heartland Coalition. Weighing in at 225 pounds, from Norway, Maine, he is accompanied by Dawn McGill and is PCW Television Champion- SNAFU!!!”

Crowd: “RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!”

Suave: “Well, a battle of two wrestlers from the same coalition. It’ll be interesting to see what happens…”

Crowd: “SARAH PALIN (clap clap clap-clap-clap)…SARAH PALIN (clap clap clap-clap-clap)

Suave: “WAIT A MINUTE! IT’S THE ALASKAN PITBULL SARAH PALIN!”

[Palin appears at the back and begins to walk towards the ring.]

Palin: “Hold it! Hold it! Don’t you see what’s happening here?”

Suave: “I see a Television Title match about to take place. I’m not sure what Ms. Palin sees.”

Palin: “The entrenched elite wants this match so they can stop the momentum that began when Scott Brown was elected. If Scott Brown is any indication, it’s running out of time. It’s a ground-up call to action that is forcing both parties to change the way they do business, and that’s beautiful.”

[Both SNAFU and American Trucker look confused.]

Palin: “America is ready for another revolution, and you are all a part of this.”

[Dawn McGill takes the microphone.]

McGill: “Ms. Palin. Tonight’s match is about two worthy opponents who want to win this belt…”

[McGill holds up the Television Title belt.]

McGill: “Why should we give the Republicans or Democrats the satisfaction that they think they can divide the American Heartland Coalition? SNAFU and American Trucker were friends before tonight and will be friends no matter who wins this match tonight.”

Crowd: “RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!”

Palin: “Then, let’s get it on!”

[The bell sounds.]

Suave: “HERE WE GO!”

MATCH SUMMARY
SNAFU and AT shake hands and then lock up in the middle and then start throwing haymakers. Trucker gets the advantage. The Trucker mule kicks SNAFU across the ring and goes for the quick win. The ref starts the count. …1 SNAFU kicks out. Tequila Sheila slides in a table. AT inverted DDT’s SNAFU thru it! AT pulls him back up and sends SNAFU to the corner of the ring. AT pokes SNAFU in the eyes and hits a ropeflip hiptoss. McGill slides SNAFU a chair. SNAFU grabs the chair…and smashes The Trucker over the head with it! AT is hurt!! SNAFU slaps on the Boston crab to American Trucker. He breaks the hold and drags AT to the floor. SNAFU swings a Steel chair and hits AT. AT is busted open as a result. AT rakes the face of SNAFU. SNAFU bulldog’s The Trucker through a ringside table!

Tequila Sheila baps SNAFU in the head with her blender. The Trucker nails SNAFU with a double underhook suplex. American Trucker grabs a Steel chair and hits SNAFU. SNAFU is now bleeding. AT scoops SNAFU up and powerslams him through another table! American Trucker back to the ring. SNAFU climbs back in and eats an American Trucker face buster. Cover…1 SNAFU kicks out. SNAFU punches AT repeatedly. SNAFU German suplexes AT. SNAFU clotheslines American Trucker. McGill in the ring with a chair. She holds it in front of AT’s face. SNAFU spins around and nails the chair into American Trucker ’s face!! Cover…1…2…NO! AT kicks out. Tequila Sheila in. She whips SNAFU into Dawn McGill and she goes down. SNAFU checks on her. American Trucker neck snaps him and then gives SNAFU the cobra clutch suplex onto the mat.

McGill piledrives Tequila Sheila and then sends The Trucker to the corner of the ring. AT charges right back out and tries to lariat McGill. She ducks and the Trucker clobbers referee Davey Keels instead. He’s down. McGill checks on the referee. American Trucker picks SNAFU up in a fireman’s carry and flapjacks him. He follows with the Super DDT and then the Jake Brake. AT covers but a problem- no referee. Sarah Palin slides into the ring and counts the pin. …1 …2 …3.

WINNER AND NEW PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION: The American Trucker

Suave: “UNBELIEVABLE! THE REFEREE GOT KNOCKED OUT AND THE ALASKAN PITBULL SARAH PALIN MAKES THE PINFALL! WE’VE GOT A NEW PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION!”

[AT and Tequila Sheila celebrate. SNAFU gets up and grudgingly shakes the Trucker's hand.]

—————

BACKSTAGE

[A banner on the wall reads Green World Order. 'Extreme Vegan' Brock Cole Lee is standing in front of it.]

Lee: “D.W.I. The GWO does not approve of you or your message and will do everything in our power to rid PCW of you. You are a poor influence on the masses who are unelightened and thus attracted to your message.”

[Peta from PETA joins him.]

Peta: “I comp-”

[Colonel DeBauchery and the Drunken Luchadors butt in.]

Colonel DeBauchery: “Your reputation says you both have something wrong with your brain. People call me crazy? All I want is my 100 labels from killing brewskis. You people want to run everyone’s lives.”

[The Drunken Luchadors nod in agreement.]

Lee: “We want to save people who don’t know better from themselves, DeBauchery. Including you.”

Colonel DeBauchery: “Well, I think power should be limited to those that are not in love with it. That should eliminate a good chunk of people.”

Lee: “Why you-”

[Lee takes a step forward.]

Colonel DeBauchery: “Uh, uh, uh. I think you’d better hear us out. We will be cruel to those who try to control the lives of others because…’they know better. And through our cruelty they will know who we are. And they will find the evidence of our cruelty in the buffoons, mocked, and scorned psyches we leave behind us. And people like you will be sickened by us, and will talk about us, and will fear us.”

[DeBauchery and the Drunken Luchadors leave.]

———————

Upcoming PCW Events:
Sunday February 7th @ Beckley, VWA- Raleigh County Convention Center
Monday February 8th @ Portsmouth, OH- Elks City Lodge
Saturday February 13th @ Wauseon, OH- Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon
Sunday February 14th @ Toledo, OH- Lucas County Arena
Monday February 15th @ Cleveland, OH- Agora Theater
Saturday February 20th @ Crawfordsville, IN- Skate Corral
Sunday February 21st @ Effingham, IL- Effingham H.S.
Monday February 22nd @ Danville, IL- David S. Palmer Arena

———————-

Live from The Slaughter House in Orlando, FL
Wednesday, February 10th, 2o1o

Slaughter Line Up
—————————–
A Pay Per View Sized 3 Hour Event for FREE!

Muru vs. Chris Jamez
Slaughter Television Championship

Mike Polowy vs. Talon
Travis Williams Special Referee

Cancer Jiles vs.Cobra
WWA World Title Match

25 MAN DREAM MINI RUMBLE
Over the top Rope DWF DREAM Championship Match
Adrien Cochrane, B.R. Ellis, Bishop Steele, Casey Pierro-Zabotel, Castor Strong, Charlie Blackwell, Chris Bladez, Clarence Williams, Dark, Doozer, Locke Helms, Chris Jamez, Jared Borchard, Jimmy Riley, Johnny Legend, Klash, Mike Polowy, Michael Byrd, Muru, Ozric Mortimer, Psymon, Sabin Richards, Talon, Terry Spruhen, The Masked Dollar

Dream Wrestling Federation

—————————–

Suave: “And we’re back. Colonel DeBauchery and D.W.I. make a strong statement to the GWO and I know we haven’t heard the last of this. Big Oil. Big Electric. AKA Public Utilities. They meet A-Bomb and H-Bomb for a shot at the PCW Tag Team Title. Let’ s go back to the ring.”

MATCH #3
Public Utilities: Big Oil and Big Electric w/Texas Tex vs.
A-Bomb and H-Bomb w/General R.C. Patton (Republicans)

MATCH SUMMARY
(ring, ring, ring) H-Bomb and Big Electric to start. H-Bomb with the whip into the ropes. H-Bomb clotheslines Big Electric. H-Bomb brings in A-Bomb. H-Bomb gives Big Electric the cobra clutch suplex onto the mat. Powerslam on the chair by H-Bomb! Big Electric is hurting badly!!! A-Bomb punches Big Electric repeatedly. Big Electric applies an arm wrench to A-Bomb. A-Bomb tags in H-Bomb. Big Electric gets taken down with an armdrag takedown. H-Bomb tags A-Bomb. A-Bomb gets up. A-Bomb moonsaults from the top rope sending Big Electric thru a table! A-Bomb moves back to his feet. Now Big Electric standing. A-Bomb and Big Electric go to the floor. A-Bomb throws Big Electric the chair..A-Bomb goes up top..A-Bomb dropkicks the chair into his face! A-Bomb climbs to his feet. A-Bomb applies an arm wrench to Big Electric. Big Electric gets back to his feet. A-Bomb German suplexes Big Electric thru a table! Big Electric responds with a headscissors takeover on A-Bomb. Big Electric and A-Bomb move back into the ring. Big Electric knees A-Bomb and rolls back to his feet. Big Electric tags in Big Oil. They lockup. Big Oil sends A-Bomb to the corner of the ring. They lockup. Big Oil sends A-Bomb to the corner of the ring. Big Oil piledrives A-Bomb. ]

Big Oil gets up. They lockup. Big Oil sends A-Bomb to the corner of the ring. Big Oil hits A-Bomb with the belly-to-belly suplex. A-Bomb climbs to his feet. Big Oil sends A-Bomb to ringside. Big Oil knocks A-Bomb into Davey Keels taking out the referee. Big Oil bounces A-Bomb off the ropes and clotheslines him. Big Oil sucks chants start in the crowd. A-Bomb moves back to his feet. Big Oil scoops A-Bomb up and slams him back down onto the chair!!! A-Bomb is up again. Big Oil takes A-Bomb into the ring. Big Oil does a nice DDT on A-Bomb. Big Oil moves back to his feet. A-Bomb stands up. Big Oil lifts A-Bomb up and drops him on the chair!! A-Bomb gets back to his feet. Big Oil hooks A-Bomb into a suplex position. Hooks his leg. Fisherman Suplex on the chair!! Oklahoma Driller! Big Oil Oklahoma Drillers A-Bomb onto the mat. A-Bomb is out cold! Davey Keels counts the pin. …1 …2 …3 ]

WINNER: Public Utilities

———————–

The Kallisten Coliseum, Chicago Il, 11 February 2010

Kirsta Lewis v Justin Decent
The referee for this match is Matt Boettcher, and the rules are Invitational Match.

Christopher America© v Erites Kallisten
The referee for this match is Joel Hortega, and the rules are Invitational Match.

The Maurako Family v Alpha Beta Slam
The referee for this match is Matt Boettcher, and the rules are Invitational Match.

MPlow v Mark “The Explosive” O’Neal
The referee for this match is Mystery Ref, and the rules are Invitational Match.

Bobbinette “Queen B” Carey v Aceldama©
The referee for this match is Matt Boettcher, and the rules are Standard Match.
High Octane Championship

————————–

Suave: “In one month, PCW and Missouri Valley Wrestling hold their next joint pay per view show- Weapons of Mass (Political) Destruction. In the next three weeks, the card for the show will take shape. With the 5th anniversary celebration and the first class of PCW Hall of Famers to be inducted, will PCW/MVW Weapons of Mass (Political) Destruction be a special event? Does Charlie Daniels play a mean fiddle?”

Suave: “HELL, YES!”

———————-

BACKSTAGE
[Nancy Pelosi paces back and forth while Harry Reid ponders the options.]

Pelosi: “Harry, what are we going to do?”

Harry: “I talked with Rahm Emanuel. He says not to worry.”

Pelosi: “I wish it was that simple.”

———————

MATCH #4 for the PCW Title
Yamamoto Tanaka w/Jill-Berg (Independent) vs.
‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (c) (Democrats)

Suave: “TANAKA OUT AND HE’S READY TO GO!” THE PARAMEDICS ARE ALSO READY WITH THE DEFIBRILLATORS IN THE EVENT CHISM GETS HIT WITH THE JAPANESE SUPER-DESTROYER!”

[Tanaka, with Jill-Berg, hops up and down inside the ring, getting warmed up. Kimber Marshall climbs into the ring.]

Kimber: “Ladies and gentlemen! This match is for the PCW Title! From Nagano, Japan, accompanied by Jill Berg, he weighs in at 350 pounds, YAMAMOTO…TANAKA!”

Crowd: “RAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!”

Kimber: “And his opponent, weighing in at 225 pounds, from Malibu, California, he wrestles for the Democrats and is the PCW Champion! ‘THE ONE…MAN…HOLLYWOOD A-LIST! STONE…CHISM!”

Crowd: “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

[Chism is assisted into the ring by his valets, the Skanky Rich Bimbos- Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan.]

Suave: “Chism has been the PCW Champion since August 23rd of 2009. Tonight, he has a big challenge here in the Japanese Super Destroyer.”

[The bell sounds.]

MATCH SUMMARY
Chism hits Tanaka with a Baba chop. Tanaka simply shakes it off and slaps on a chokehold on Chism.

Chism stands up. Chism hits a koppo kick on Tanaka.Chism with the shooting star press. Chism covers. The ref starts the count. …Tanaka kicks out. Tanaka stands up. Chism hits him with a back fist. Chism hits Tanaka with the back of his elbow. Chism chops Tanaka. Tanaka choke slams Chism! Jill Berg in the ring. She hits a spinning heel kick on Chism. Berg slides a table in and Tanaka sets it up. Tanaka does a running powerslam putting Chism thru the table! Tanaka superplexes Chism from the top rope through a table! Tanaka climbs to the top rope and executes a Shooting Star Press putting Chism thru a table! Tanaka drags Chism to the floor. They fight into the aisle. Tanaka climbs up to the top rope and splashes Chism thru a table! Tanaka chokes Chism with his boot.

Tanaka kicks Chism in the groin. Berg sets up a table in the ring. Tanaka blasts Chism through it with a facebuster. Tanaka for the title…1…2…the referee gets pulled out of the ring.

Suave: “IT’S RAHM EMANUEL. HE PULLED THE REFEREE OUT OF THE RING! F-BOMB! F-BOMB! EMANUEL JUST DROPPED AN F-BOMB ON THE REFEREE. TANAKA HAS HAD CHISM PINNED FOR OVER 10 SECONDS!”

[Tanaka stands up and glares at Emanuel. Emanuel is confronted by Jill-Berg and her bodyguards.]

Berg: “What the **** was that all about?”

Emanuel: “If you think that I’m going to let you walk in here and take the PCW Title away from us, you must be retarded.”

Berg: “WHAT?”

Suave: “BERG’S PISSED. EMANUEL GOES FOR THE F-BOMB! HE MISSES. SPINNING CRESCENT KICK BY JILL-BERG!”

[Emanuel is down.]

Crowd: “RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!”

Suave: “WHAT? IT’S THE ALASKAN PITBULL SARAH PALIN!”

[Palin to the ring. Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid also run down with Charlie Ranck and Pete Fyle. Ranck and Fyle pull Chism from the ring and start taking him to the back. The Skanky Rich Bimbos follow. Tanaka, now enraged, gives chase. Chism regains his bearings and throws the SRB in front of Tanaka and sprints to the back with Ranck and Fyle and Pelosi and Reid.]

Suave: “Not good…not good at all for the SRB.”

[Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan whip off their tops.]

Suave: “WARDROBE MALFUNCTION! WARDROBE MALFUNCTION!”

[Tanaka swipes at Hilton and Lohan and knocks both of them out of his way. He takes another two steps forward and then hears Berg screaming at him to get back in the ring. Palin is counting both men out. Tanaka steps over Hilton and barely beats the count.]

WINNER BY COUNTOUT: Yamamoto Tanaka

Suave: “TANAKA GETS THE WIN; BUT CHISM KEEPS THE PCW TITLE! THAT’S IT FOR THIS WEEK. REMEMBER ONE MONTH TO PCW/MVW WEAPONS OF MASS POLITICAL DESTRUCTION!”

Filed under: Average Joe, Blogs- Pro Wrestling, Independents, Joe the Plumber, John McCain, Paul Heyman, Pro Wrestling, Small Town America, Third Party, democrats, joe six pack, political satire, political wrestling, red state, republicans | Tagged: ECW, Greenpeace, PETA, ROH, Ron Paul, Sarah Palin, Scott Brown, Shania Twain, Tea Party, TNA, WWF | Leave a Comment »

2/5-PCW/MVW Friday Night Wrestling on HOTv

Posted on February 5, 2010 by Political Championship Wrestling

PCW/MVW Friday Night Wrestling on HOTv
Friday February 5th
Hosts: Rick Fantastic and Chastity Gold

[Rick and Chastity sit behind the broadcast desk.]

Rick: “Rick Fantastic here with Chastity Gold. Welcome to another edition of MVW/PCW Friday Night Wrestling.”

Chastity: “We’ve got three big matches on hand tonight. As you know, Dawn McGill, one half of the MVW Tag Team champions, was involved in the WWA Caged Hell Match for Bragging Rights this past weekend at Dream Wrestling Federation’s Scrambled Dreams Pay Per View. We’ll show the match in its entirety tonight.”

Rick: “Magnum P.O’d made his PCW in ring debut this past week against Michael Hunt at a PCW house show. And then we will bring you what was supposed to be the main event on last week’s MVWA 19- Angels of Death against the MVW Champion Miss USA and Christa Carmondy.”

C.R.I.P (AW) vs. Joe Drago (DEF) vs. Kronin (WMW) vs. Ryan Faze (HOW) vs. Adrien Cochrane (DWF) vs. Dawn McGill (MVW)
WWA Caged Hell Match for Bragging Rights

Also on the card:

The PCW debut of Magnum P.O’d

And…what was supposed to be the main event for MVWA 19 before the show went long and had to be cut:

Angels of Death: Angel Casey and Angel Scott
vs.
Miss USA and Christa Carmondy of the Sisters of Excellence

—————-

MATCH #1- WWA Caged Hell Match for Bragging Rights
C.R.I.P (Appalachian Wrestling) vs. Joe Drago (Defiance Wrestling) vs. Kronin (Wrestling Midwest) vs. Ryan Faze (High Octane Wrestling) vs. Adrien Cochrane (Dream Wrestling Federation) vs. Dawn McGill (Missouri Valley Wrestling)

The arena lights dim as the quick guitar intro from “Last One to Die” kicks into full force. Once the third line of the verse echoes from the arena, Adrien Cochrane comes out from behind the curtain with cheers from the fans. He hops to the ring as the chorus blares throughout the arena.

“We got right
You got it wrong
We’re still around
Last one to die
We’re going up
You’re going down
We’re still around
Last one to die!”

Adrien slides into the ring as the music fades and the lights return to full brightness.

Blue smoke is highlighted by blue strobe lights.

Music begins playing with the sounds of a violin.

# Why the f*&k you wanna murda me
#Ya punk ass never heard of me
#I did nuthin to ya family
#Still ya wanna kill a young brother randomly

The words from Ice Cube’s “Why Me,” begin blaring over the sound system. Through the smoke and the lights leaps Christopher Rashad Issac Patterson. The strobe lights accenting his blue tights and the silver RSC racing down his blue boots.

#You wanna take the life God handed me
#Send it back to him, because you ain’t a fan of me
#Scary bitch with a gun that ain’t a man to me
#That’s an animal, a f&^kin cannibal

Christopher does a pose like a body builder flexing every muscle in his body. He’s greeted with a chorus of boos from the fans. He smiles and begins making his way down the aisle, with his eyes focused solely on the ring.

#I’m Geronimo and Hannibal with International
#Gangsta pull, I’m a bull in Barcelona
#With a Corona, Youse a fake ass ni^^a
#Where’s your owner? I’m a real live man

Christopher reaches the ring and climbs up the steps and makes his way through the second and first rope. He stands in the center of the ring smirking as the music slowly fades.

The opening riff to Throwdown’s “You Can’t Kill Integrity,” hit the PA system next as the fans in attendance all went bonkers and begin to chant.

Drago’s gonna kill you! Drago’s gonna kill you!

Murray Monroe stepped out first, screaming out to and pumping up the fans, a few moments later behind him emerged Joe Drago, white towel over his head. With an ice cold stare directed towards the two who already are standing center ring, Joe Drago slowly, purposefully, marched towards the ring area.

Drago’s gonna kill you! Drago’s gonna kill you!

Joe Drago slowly walked up the steel steps onto the ring apron, never taking his eyes off of his opponents.

Joe Drago tore off the white towel from his head and tossed it into the crowd before entering the ring.

“Freya” by the Sword plays over the PA and a blast of pyro goes off, and the crowd erupts into cheers as Kronin rise from the middle of the entryway. Lilly wears the armor of a Valkyrie and Kronin is on a knee in front of her, staring at the floor. Lilly stands up and places a hand on Kronin’s shoulder and points towards the ring. Kronin stands and hops up into the air, driving his fist into the ground as a huge explosion of pyro goes off behind him and he makes his way down to the ring, looking around the arena as he makes his way to the ring.

As he slides in “Phase” by Breaking Benjamin begins to play. Ryan Faze steps out, immediately staring at C.R.I.P as he makes his way down the ramp. Faze slides into the ring.

Can’t Stand It, I Know You Planned It
Ima Set It Straight, This Watergate
I Can’t Stand Rockin’ When I’m In Here
‘Cause Your Crystal Ball Ain’t So Crystal Clear
So, While You Sit Back And Wonder Why
I Got This Fucking Thorn In My Side
Oh My God, It’s A Mirage
I’m Tellin’ Y’all It’s Sabotage

Dawn McGill walks down, Singapore Cane in hand, and climbs into the ring.

“So,So,So, So Listen Up ‘Cause You Can’t Say Nothin’
You Shut Me Down With A Push Of Your Button
But yo, I’m Out And I’m Gone
I’ll Tell You Now I Keep It On And On

‘Cause What You See You Might Not Get
And We Can Bet, So Don’t You Get Souped Yet
Scheming On A Thing That’s A Mirage
I’m Tryin’ To Tell You Now It’s Sabotage

The cell begins to lower.

“Oh it’s time folks, inter-promotional action heading your way! Six participants, one cell, NO WHERE TO GO!”

In the ring, everyone waits near the ropes. Everyone’s eyes, fixated on someone else. For some, there is hate. For some, their nerves begin to hit. The adrenaline fills the ring. It’s almost time.

“You have to wonder what is going through everyone’s heads right now. We know Ryan Faze is looking for revenge against C.R.I.P for his attack several weeks ago. Then we have Dawn McGill, the only woman in this match. How will the others take to that?”

Adrien Cochrane looks to be saying a prayer in a corner.

“Adrien Cochrane, representing DREAM tonight, is way out of his element. Can he overcome the odds?”

Joe Drago looks at Kronin and sticks his middle finger up, mouthing Defiance Mother Fucker.

“Anything can happen in this. The winner gets bragging rights as the man, or woman in this case, to beat in the World Wrestling Alliance. Anyone who can come out victorious in a match like this, I’ll take my hat off to.”

The cell hits the ground and the crowd goes fucking nuts.

“I do not envy referee Mark Patterson who has the job of trying to regulate this match.”

Kronin looks around at the rest of the people in the match.

“Kronin sizing his opponents up as everyone is about the same size wise, except for the six foot six Kronin.”

Before the bell can even sound, Ryan Faze waits no longer as he rushes C.R.I.P.

“Faze attacking C.R.I.P, he couldn’t wait any longer. He wants his revenge.”

The referee yells for the bell to sound.

“This match has officially began!”

Joe Drago targets Kronin, receiving a boot to his stomach by the bigger man upon rushing him. Adrien Cochrane turns to Dawn McGill and mouths I’m not going to hit a woman. Dawn looks at him and shakes her head before mouthing, I will. She then kicks him in the gut, following it with an European Uppercut.

“Kronin with a hard chop to the chest of Joe Drago.”

Kronin grabs Drago’s arm, and pulls him into a short arm clothesline.

“Drago taken down by Kronin. C.R.I.P swept to the mat by Ryan Faze, and placed in an arm bar.”

Dawn McGill has Adrien Cochrane in the corner, holding onto the top rope, and kicking him.

“Dawn McGill refuses to fight like a woman as she focuses on Adrien Cochrane.”

Kronin lifts Drago up, placing his head between his legs.

“Kronin lifts Drago up.”

As it appears Kronin is about to go for a powerbomb, Joe Drag begins punching him in the head.

“Shot after shot, how is Kronin still standing?”

He stumbles back, Drago stops long enough to flip Kronin off, before hitting him one more time. Kronin falls back to the mat, as Joe Drago is slung sideways. As he hits the mat, it appears he may have landed wrong on his knee.

“Drago able to get free from Kronin, but at what price?”

Ryan Faze holds C.R.I.P’s arm still in the arm bar, and begins to stomp his ribs.

“Ryan Faze is still recovering from his recent overdose and concussion thanks to the attack from C.R.I.P. Hopefully he is well enough that these events wont have much bearing on this hellacious match. So far, it has shown to just be a motivational tool for Faze as he continues his assault on C.R.I.P. Not only doing the damage he wants, but showing his technical skills as well.”

In the corner, Dawn McGill grabs Adrien’s head, and turns him around, before bashing it directly into the top turnbuckle.

“Adrien Cochrane meets the top turnbuckle, head first.”

She bashes his head into it again.

“McGill still showing that even she wants to earn some bragging rights. Will the ‘nice guy’ be able to turn the tables and hit a women though?”

Finally, Adrien grabs the top ropes and stops his head from hitting the turnbuckle. He throws an elbow into Dawn’s stomach, rolls out under her arm and grabs her by the back of the head.

“Adrien Cohrane has had enough! Cochrane sends McGill face first now into tat turnbuckle!”

He turns here around, grabs her arm and whips her.

“McGill whipped across the ring.”

As she runs, Dawn plows right into Ryan Faze’s back, who now has C.R.I.P in a sleeper hold. All three tumble to the mat.

“Adrien Cochrane hopping up the corner to the top. He needs to watch his head, as there isn’t much room between it and the top of that enclosure!”

Adrien sizes the leap up, but it looks to him to be too far. He looks over at Joe Drago who has used the ropes to pull himself up, and Kronin who grabs Drag in a belly to back hold.

“Cochrane sets his sights and leaps!”

As Adrien jumps forward, Drago rolls out of Kronin’s grip.

“Cochrane comes down with a missile drop kick, connecting with Kronin!”

Joe Drago comes up behind Adrien, and grabs his head, then drops to the ground.

“Inverted DDT by DEFIANCE’s Joe Drago.”

As Dawn McGill, C.R.I.P, and Faze begin to get to their feet, Joe Drago stomps away at Adrien Cochrane. Kronin rolls to the apron and outside the ring between it and the cell.

“Kronin taking a different approach now as he seems to be catching a breather on the outside. This could be smart if he allows his opponents to wear each other down.”

C.R.I.P bounces off the ropes and runs at Drago. Joe turns as C.R.I.P leaps.

“Cross body block by C.R.I.P! Joe Drago catches him!”

C.R.I.P kicks his legs, attempting to break free, but Joe Drago has him tight. Drago lifts C.R.I.P up and over his head, stepping forward.

“C.R.I.P crashes down to the mat as Joe Drago continues to control this match!”

Dawn McGill runs at Joe Drago.

“Drago can’t be comfortable with being so vicious to a woman as he has his other opponents, can he?”

Joe side steps, grabs the back of Dawn McGill, and continues her momentum, as he uses it to turn her slightly, aim, and throw her over the top rope. McGill’s foot catches on the top rope, and she swings down bashing her face into the edge of the ring before falling to a crumpled heap between the ring and cell.

“IS THAT HOW YOU TREAT WOMEN IN DEFIANCE?!”

Joe Drago looks over the ropes and down at McGill, happy with himself as Ryan Faze runs toward him. Drago turns as Faze jumps up.

“Swinging neck breaker by Faze!”

Faze crawls over, draping his arm over Joe Drago. The referee runs to his spot and drops for the count.

“It could be over already!”

Adrien Cochrane is on his hands and knees as he looks up to see the pin. Cochrane gets up, and stomps Faze to break the pin just in time.

“Cochrane somehow with the save. That was two and nine tenths of a count right there!”

Adrien leans over to grab Faze, but Ryan latches on to Cochrane’s legs, pulling back, tripping him to the mat. Still holding his legs, Faze stands up.

“Kick to Adrien Cochrane’s inner thigh by Faze.”

Ryan closes Adrien’s legs and pushes them over to the mat as Adrien holds himself.

“Outside the ring, Kronin is up and looking to be ready to get back into this match.”

As he head sunder the bottom rope, Faze runs, kicking him in the face.

“Denied by Ryan Faze!”

Kronin grabs his face and steps back and into the cell. Inside the ring, Faze grabs C.R.I.P’s head, pulling him to his feet.

“Ryan Faze isn’t finished with C.R.I.P yet folks!”

He pulls back and comes forward with a shot to the side of C.R.I.P’s head, followed by another.

“C.R.I.P blocks that one and delivers his own!”

Kronin slides under the bottom rope and gets to his feet as C.R.I.P grabs Ryan’s arm, and whips him.

“Faze sent right into Kronin’s arms!”

Kronin frees one arm, holds his hand up, then jabs it into Faze’s mouth.

“MANDIBLE CLAW! Those fingers are now pressing down on nerves inside of Ryan Faze’s mouth under his tongue. I’m told that the sensation from this is so painful that the victim is immobilized until they black out!”

C.R.I.P grabs Adrien Cochrane as he pushes himself up to his feet.

“Snap suplex by C.R.I.P.”

The referee makes his way back into the ring after checking on Dawn McGill’s well-being and rushes over to Kronin.

“WAIT! If Ryan Faze gives up or blacks out and is counted as knocked out, Kronin will win this match right here!”

C.R.I.P realizes this as Whiteside says it and turns his attention to Kronin who has Faze still locked into the claw and on one knee. He runs, bounces off the ropes behind Kronin and leaps up.

“C.R.I.P with the save as he lands a forearm across Kronin’s back.”

Kronin releases Faze who falls to the mat, and turns towards C.R.I.P.

“C.R.I.P. with a hard punch to the chest of Kronin followed by one to the side of his head.”

Kronin blocks another attempt.

“Boot to C.R.I.P’s gut.”

Kronin turns to the side of C.R.I.P, grabs the back of his head, and violently yanks him to the mat.

“C.R.I.P off his feet and on the mat as Kronin displays his brute strength.”

Dawn McGill is up outside the ring, and climbs to the apron. Kronin sees her and runs, smashing into her.

“McGill flies off the apron!”

She crashes into the cell and falls to the floor again.

“Dawn McGill meets that unforgiving steel, sent there by an unforgiving Kronin! The carnage.”

Adrien Cochrane is up behind Kronin. Kronin turns sideways, with Adrien turning as well, staying behind him. Finally, Adrien runs and leaps up, placing Kronin in a choke a hold, while wrapping his legs around Kronin’s waist.

“ADRIEN COCHRANE TRYING TO CHOKE KRONIN OUT!”

Kronin begins swinging around, trying to free himself from Adrien’s grip. Faze uses the ropes to pull himself up.

“Ryan Faze is on his feet. He still seems disoriented, but he is up.”

C.R.I.P has rolled to the outside, leaning on the corner of the apron to catch his breath as Joe Drago begins to come around and get up.

“Kronin may be out! The referee is checking him. Cochrane could win it all!”

The referee lifts Kronin’s arm, and drops it.

“If his arm falls three times then he is considered knocked out!”

He lifts it, letting it drop a second time. Joe Drago sees what is going on and heads towards them, falling forward and clipping Kronin’s legs. Kronin falls to the mat, crushing Adrien Cochrane under him.

“The match is saved by Joe Drago who wants to take this home for DEFIANCE!”

Ryan Faze runs at Drago, but Joe takes him over with an arm drag.

“Both men up. Faze run again. Another arm drag by Joe Drago!”

Faze gets up again. Drago meets him in the middle of the ring. He hammerlocks one of Ryan’s arms behind his back and wraps both of his own arms around him. Drago then, lifts his opponent straight up and falls back, dropping the victim on his back and arm.

“DRAGOPLEX!”

Ryan Faze rolls out of the ring and to the floor, obviously in pain. C.R.I.P meets him, stomping away.

“C.R.I.P taking advantage of Faze’s situation, continuing the punishment began weeks ago.”

In the ring, Kronin runs at Joe Drago.

“Drago ducks a clothesline!”

Both men turn. Drago begins right hard closed fist rights.

“Joe Drago laying those punches on as Kronin takes each blow.”

Outside, C.R.I.P rakes Ryan Faze’s face across the cell, opening up a gash he received from being slammed into it face first.

“It looks like Ryan Faze is busted open at the hands of C.R.I.P.”

C.R.I.P forces Faze around, and directs him to, and into the corner post. Faze spins out and falls. As C.R.I.P turns he receives a spinning heel kick to the face by Dawn McGill. The women in the crowd pop like hell.

“Memphis Valley Wrestling’s Dawn McGill just laid C.R.I.P out with that deadly spinning heel kick!”

Dawn digs under the ring, pulling a steel chair out.

“Dawn McGill has a steel chair!”

She slides into the ring where Kronin and Joe Drago both turn towards her. She raises the chair and slams it into Joe Drago’s head first, laying him out. Dawn spins around and slams the chair into Kronin’s face. He stumbles back.

“McGill on the assualt with that chair!”

She slams it into Kronin’s face again. He stumbles again. Dawn pulls back and comes forward with an insane amount of force, denting the chair over Kronin’s head, sending him to the mat. The women pop again, now with more male pop as well.

“Dawn McGill has cleared house.”

She fails to notice Adrien Cochrane getting up behind her. As she holds the chair up and turns, he jumps with a dropkick.

“Cochrane with a dropkick, planting that chair into McGill’s face!”

Adrien quickly rolls over, pushes himself up, and runs towards the corner.

“Adrien up the turnbuckle. He wants to fly!”

The cameras flash as Adrien leaps backward, flipping in the air, and landing directly on Kronin. He hooks Kronin’s leg as the referee drops to count.

“Adrien Cochrane is going for the big win!”

Ryan Faze slides into the ring, blood soaked head and all.

“Faze falls across the back of Cochrane, stopping the pin.”

Ryan rolls over to his back, out of breath but successful in saving the match. As Adrien begins to get up, Faze tries to as well.

“If one of these men can make it to their feet, they could end the match now!”

Faze grabs the ropes and is able to get up first. C.R.I.P is sliding in from the side at the same time. As he steps towards Adrien, Cochrane lunges up grabbing his neck and falling down.

“ADRIEN CUTTER OUT OF NOWHERE!”

The fans pop and Cochrane gets to his feet, just to be grabbed by C.R.I.P, who whips him across the ring.

“C.R.I.P off the ropes sideways from where he whipped Adrien. He returns, throwing up that big boot and catching Adrien in the head, DRIVE BY!”

Cochrane hits the mat. Behind him, Kronin has gotten up.

“C.R.I.P turns, Kronin is waiting behind him! Boot to C.R.I.P’s mid section!”

Kronin sets C.R.I.P up for what may be a power bomb, but instead he performs a sunset flip, flipping C.R.I.P over in to a pile driver.

“DEATH BY METAL! MY GOD!”

Kronin stands over his victim and makes the sign that he’s about to end it, by motioning his thumb across his throat.

“THIS IS IT! IT HAS TO BE! EVERYONE IS OUT!”

Joe Drago rolls over and pushes up to his hands and knees. The crowd just plain gets excited as someone is moving.

“DEFIANCE’S JOE DRAGO IS GETTING TO HIS FEET!”

Kronin realizes something is amiss and turns as Drago gets up. Drago leaps froward with a back elbow to Kronin’s face.

“Kronin stumbles back.”

Joe leans forward, grabbing Kronin’s arm, and with a fireman’s carry, puts him over his shoulders and to the mat. The fans go nuts.

“Drago instantly dropping a knee to the chest of Kronin.”

Dawn McGill has gotten up behind him.

“McGill is up! McGill is up! Joe Drago turns, McGill runs.”

Joe meets her with a boot to the gut. He grabs her arms, hooking under both, then with one swift move, suplexes her, on top of Kronin.

“Double underarm DDT on top of Kronin!”

Joe gets up, but quickly drops an elbow to McGill then goes for a cover, pinning both McGill and Kronin. The referee drops for the count.

“Is it over? Is it?!”

He hits three.

“IT IS! JOE DRAGO WINS! JOE DRAGO WINS!”

“You Can’t Kill Integrity” by Throwdown begins to play and Drago is helped up by the referee to his feet.

“Ladies and gentlemen, that man right there has just earned the first official bragging rights of the World Wrestling Alliance for 2o1o. He defeated five others, inside that steel cell to become the last man standing. Eric Dane will never let this down.”

The cell begins to raise as the referee holds Drago’s arm high in the sky. High in victory. He has done it. DEFIANCE has proven to be on top tonight.

——————–

Friday – February 5th, 2010

Volatile Wrestling Alliance presents Chaos

Sunday – February 7th, 2010

Missouri Valley Wrestling presents MVWA 20

———————

Last week at the Hammerstein Ballroom, PCW CEO Barack Obama gave his State of PCW Address and found himself sharing the spotlight with not only Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and the Axis of Evil but the Missouri Valley Wrestling Association’s Female Wrestling Phenom Jill-Berg as well.

The American Trucker (American Heartland Coalition) got a huge win over Newt Tron Bomb (Republican) and gets a Television title shot as a result. However, Magnum P.O’d debuted and made it clear that he, too, was coming for the Television title.

This week at the Roanoke Civic Center, Al Cahall and incoming PCW Hall of Famers The Drunken Luchador’s (D.W.I.) face off against The Green World Order.

PCW Television Champion SNAFU (Independent) meets the American Trucker (American Heartland Coalition) for the TV title.

Public Utilities: Big Oil and Big Electric face A. Tom Bomb and Hy Drogen Bomb (Republicans) in a #1 contender’s match with the winner getting a title shot against PCW Tag Team Champions ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido and ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (American Heartland Coalition).

Jill Berg’s Japanese Import, ‘The Japanese Destroyer’ Yamamoto Tanaka meets the PCW Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (Democrats) for the PCW Title.

All this and more Saturday night on PCW Extreme Political TV on P-SPAN

—————-

MATCH #2
Magnum P.O’d w/Robyn Masters vs. Michael Hunt (Island of Misfit Wrestlers)
The bell rings and they lock up, with Magnum P.O’d getting an arm wrench. Hunt gets whipped off the ropes and hits a shoulder block. Magnum P.O’d then gets sent of the ropes and hits one of his own. Hunt with a kick to the gut and he stomps away before choking Magnum P.O’d on the middle rope. Magnum P.O’d reverses an irish whip and catches Hunt with a spinning heel kick. Hunt runs to the floor and Magnum P.O’d runss of the ropes, but right into a shoulder block from Hunt. Magnum P.O’d blocks a suplex attempt and drops Hunt to the floor and now hits the basement dropkick. Hunt rolls back in and catches Magnum P.O’d on the second rope, but Magnum P.O’d fights off until Hunt picks him off and slingshots him into the bottom tope. Magnum P.O’d escapes a headlock from Hunt and runs off the ropes, but right into a rough Hunt leg lariat for two. Magnum P.O’d set up top and Hunt follows, but Magnum P.O’d blocks the superplex. Hunt gets shoved off and Magnum P.O’d hits a flying cross body for two. Hunt gets drilled with a forearm smash and backs into the corner. Magnum P.O’d charges and runs into an elbow. Hunt goes to the second rope, but Magnum P.O’d turns his axe handle attempt into a flapjack. Magnum P.O’d heads up top and hits the missle dropkick for two. Hunt reverses a whip and Magnum P.O’d tries the sunset flip, but Hunt dops down and nearly gets the three. Magnum P.O’d gets sent to the corner, but Hunt misses a charge and gets caught with the flip kick of Magnum P.O’d.

Magnum P.O’d whipped off the ropes and he rolls over Hunt and hits a dropkick. Magnum P.O’d goes back to the arm wrench and Hunt knees out. Hunt thought he dumped Magnum P.O’d to the floor, but Magnum P.O’d slides right back in and Hunt sees it just fast enough to duck the roundhouse kick. Hunt nails Magnum P.O’d in the jaw with a kick and then goes to a chinlock. Magnum P.O’d tries to escapes, but Hunt just brings down Magnum P.O’d and goes back to it. Magnum P.O’d is up and backs Hunt in the corner. Magnum P.O’d walks into a boot to the face, but the Hunt walks into a back body drop. Hunt gets hits with a few kicks and gets sent to the corner, where Magnum P.O’d follows with a high knee. Magnum P.O’d rolls out into a snapmare and hits the stiff kick to the chest. Magnum P.O’d heads up top and Hunt catches him, but gets sent off. Hunt again goes back up and heads a Hunticarana for two. Hunt is yelling at the ref saying it was a three count, but he turns right into the buzz saw kick of Robyn Masters. Magnum P.O’d covers and gets the three count for the win.

WINNER: Magnum P.O’d

———————-

Appalachian Wrestling

Defiance Wrestling

Dream Wrestling Federation

High Octane Wrestling

Wrestling Midwest

————-

Missouri Valley Wrestling Association

MVWA 20 PREVIEW:

The Pinups (Sabrina James and Alicia Rowe) continue their drive up the MVW Tag Team ladder as they meet Caroline Kelly and Amy Mason in tag team action.

Katie Collins meets MVW Television Champion ‘The Manchester Masterpiece’ Brooke Evans for the title.

The Phenomenon Known As Jill-Berg meets Big Skye.

MVW Champion Miss USA defends her title against Corrina Romanov

Also:

More Angels of Death/Miss USA conflict

The battle between Dame Judith Carmondy and ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin comes to a head.

All this and more Sunday night on MVWA 20 on HOTv.

———————-

MATCH #3

*The opening bars of AC/DC’s ‘If You Want Blood (You Got It) plays*

It’s criminal
there ought to be a law
criminal
there ought to be a whole lot more
you get a nothin’ for nothin’
tell me who can you trust
we got what ya want
and you got the lust

Zenk: Angel Scott. Angel Casey. They are ANGELS OF DEATH!”

Angels of Death:

‘Terminatrix’ Angel Scott

‘Ms. Lethal Weapon’ Angel Casey

If you want blood (YOU GOT IT)
If you want blood (YOU GOT IT)
BLOOD on the streets
BLOOD on the rocks
BLOOD in the gutter, EVERY LAST DROP,
YOU WANT BLOOD you got it
yes you have…

vs.
Miss USA pix
MVW Champion Miss USA and

Christa Carmondy

Zenk: “And their opponents, the Missouri Valley Wrestling Champion, Miss USA and her partner, Christa Carmondy.”

Match Summary

[Christa drops Casey with a Gorilla Press Slam on the mat. Casey walks around the ring. Christa puts Casey in the achilles tendon hold. Christa stands up. Casey gets hit with the shooting star press from Christa. Davey Keels counts the pin. ...1 ...2 Casey escapes. Christa makes the tag to Miss USA. Miss USA short lariats Casey. Miss USA hits Casey with an elbowdrop from the second turnbuckle. Miss USA hits Casey with an elbowdrop from the second turnbuckle. Casey stands up. Miss USA tags Christa. Christa brings Casey down with a Mexican armdrag takedown. Casey gets back to her feet. Christa strikes Casey in the chest. Casey tags Scott. They lockup. Scott sends Christa to the corner of the ring. Casey knocks Christa out with a tilt-a-whirl powerslam. Christa uses a snap mare takeover on Casey. Christa puts Casey on the top rope and executes a superplex. Now Christa standing. Scott makes the tag to Casey. Now Casey standing. Christa's head is smashed into the mat with a springboard DDT by Casey. ]

[Christa brings in Miss USA for Miss USA and Christa. Casey kicks Miss USA in the groin. Miss USA elbow smashes Casey in the nose. Casey punches Miss USA in the gut. Miss USA jumps off the turnbuckle with the flying bodypress on Casey. Miss USA climbs to her feet. Casey is up again. Casey gets back into the match with a jumping neck snap on Miss USA. Casey makes the tag to Scott. Scott bounces Miss USA off the ropes and faceslams her onto the mat. Casey tagged in by Scott. Miss USA hits the frankensteiner from off the top rope. Miss USA is up again. Casey gets hit with the shooting star press from Miss USA. Referee Davey Keels makes the count. ...1 ...2 Casey escapes. Miss USA with the hammerlock on Casey. Davey Keels is checking for a tap out. ... (AHHHH!) ... ... Miss USA breaks the hold. Casey tags Scott. Scott picks up Miss USA and executes the cradle DDT. Casey sets Miss USA up on the top rope, then she powerbombs her onto the mat! ]

[Flying somersault drop kick by Miss USA puts her back in the match. Miss USA gets up. Miss USA jumps and elbow smashes the lying Casey. Now Miss USA standing. Scott tags Casey. Casey stands up. Miss USA gets caught with an elbowsmash to the face. Miss USA kicks Casey's head out of desperation because Casey blocked Miss USA's first kick. Miss USA gets up. Miss USA trys for a flying somersault neckbreaker but Casey avoids it. Casey executes a bulldog off of the top rope, bringing Miss USA crashing face first to the mat. Miss USA stands up. Miss USA tags Christa. Casey hits Christa with an elbowdrop from the second turnbuckle. Casey tags Scott. Christa punches Scott repeatedly. Scott executes a jawbreaker on Christa. Scott gets up. Scott brings in Casey for Angels of Death. Casey knees Christa and rolls back to her feet. Casey jumps and elbow smashes the lying Christa. Casey gets up. Casey fist drops Christa on the mat. Casey brings in Scott for Angels of Death. Casey knee drops Christa. Casey hits Christa with an elbowdrop from the second turnbuckle. ]

[Casey climbs to her feet. Casey tagged in by Scott. Christa trys for a power move but Casey avoids it. Christa goes for a backdrop but Casey dodges the attack. Casey tags in Scott. Casey elbow smashes Christa in the nose. A flying shoulder block sends Casey to the mat. Now Christa standing. Christa puts Casey in an arm grapevine submission. Casey stands up. Christa holds her head after recieving an earringer from Casey. Christa superkicks Casey. Christa brings in Miss USA for Miss USA and Christa. Flying side kick by Miss USA takes Scott off her feet. Christa tagged in by Miss USA. Scott is driven further into the mat by Miss USA with a diving elbow smash. Christa jumps off the turnbuckle with the flying bodypress on Scott. Miss USA puts Scott thru a table with an elbow drop from the top rope! Scott clotheslines Miss USA. Scott brings in Casey for Angels of Death. Casey jumps onto Christa's shoulders, twists, and DDT's her onto the mat Christa is up again. Casey grabs Christa's arm, takes her down, and puts her in the armbar. The referee is checking the situation. ... ... Christa is fighting the hold. ... Christa tries to escape. Christa escapes. Casey brings in Scott for Angels of Death. Flying side kick by Christa takes Scott off her feet. Scott brings in Casey for Angels of Death. Christa hits Casey with a slingshot bodyblock. ]

[Casey hits Christa with the Asia moonsault bodyblock. Christa is up again. Christa with an impressive flying spinning leg lariat on Casey. Now Casey standing. Casey tags in Scott. Scott gets knocked on the ground and Christa flips onto him. Christa climbs to her feet. Scott gets up. Christa tags in Miss USA. Scott jabs Miss USA. Scott tags Casey. Casey hits a flying karate chop right to Miss USA's neck. Casey tags Scott. Scott grabs Miss USA's leg and takes her down. Miss USA tags Christa. Miss USA sets Scott up DDTs her into the mat. Now Miss USA standing. Miss USA executes a split legged moonsault on to Scott. Scott stands up. Scott brings in Casey for Angels of Death. Scott picks Christa up in a fireman's carry and flapjacks him. Casey goes to the top and executes a flying hip attack on Christa. Casey grabs Christa by the arm and breaks it over her shoulder. Christa executes a jawbreaker on Casey. ]

[Christa gets up. Casey gets hit with a diving elbow smash from Christa. Now Christa standing. Christa executes a flying knee drop right to the gut of Casey. Casey gets up. Casey tries for a top-rope DDT but is not strong enough to lift Christa. Casey and Christa go to the floor Davey Keels starts the count (.1) Christa nails Casey with a huge slingshot sommersault splash. (..2) Christa places Casey on the turnbuckle and executes the belly-to-back superplex. (...3) Christa chokes Casey with a microphone cable. A flying tomahawk by Casey sends Christa down to the floor. They head back into the ring. Casey knocks Christa into Davey Keels taking out the referee. Casey kicks Christa in the head. Casey with a somersault splash on Christa. Casey is up again. Casey thrust kicks Christa in the head. Casey covers Christa. The ref starts the count. ...1 ...2 ...3 ]

Zenk: The winners of this match, Angels of Death!!!

Filed under: Average Joe, Blogs- Pro Wrestling, Independents, Joe the Plumber, Small Town America, Third Party, joe six pack, political satire, political wrestling, red state | Tagged: Miss USA | Leave a Comment »

2/6-PCW Extreme Political TV Preview

Posted on February 4, 2010 by Political Championship Wrestling

This week at the Roanoke Civic Center, Al Cahall and incoming PCW Hall of Famers The Drunken Luchador’s (D.W.I.) face off against The Green World Order.

PCW Television Champion SNAFU (Independent) meets the American Trucker (American Heartland Coalition) for the TV title.

Jill Berg’s Japanese Import, ‘The Japanese Destroyer’ Yamamoto Tanaka meets the PCW Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (Democrats) for the PCW Title.

All this and more Saturday night on PCW Extreme Political TV on P-SPAN

Filed under: Average Joe, Barack Obama, Independents, Joe the Plumber, Paul Heyman, Politics, Pro Wrestling, Small Town America, Third Party, democrats, joe six pack, political satire, political wrestling, republicans, wordpress political blogs | Tagged: Axis of Evil, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad | Leave a Comment »

1/30-PCW Extreme Political TV on P-SPAN

Posted on January 31, 2010 by Political Championship Wrestling

PCW Extreme Political TV (1 Hour)
Hammerstein Ballroom
New York City, NY
Saturday January 30th
Host: Johnny Suave

Crowd: “P-C-W!…P-C-W!…P-C-W!”

[Johnny Suave stands in the middle of the ring with his co-host, the ever present life-size cardboard cut-out of Shania Twain.]

Suave: “HELLO, HAMMERSTEIN BALLROOM. WELCOME TO P-C-W!”

Crowd: “RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! P-C-W!…P-C-W!…P-C-W!…”

Suave: “I AM JOHNNY SUAVE! THIS SMOKIN’ HOT PIECE OF CARDBOARD IS SHANIA TWAIN! WELCOME TO EXTREME…POLITICAL…TV…ON P-SPAN!”

Crowd: “RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!”

Suave: “TONIGHT, WE’VE GOT…hold on……you’ve got to be kidding……all right. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE’LL BE BACK AFTER THIS BRIEF MESSAGE.”

——————

(The opening notes of Whitney Houston’s version of ‘The Greatest Love of All’ starts to play)

“I believe the children are our are future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier…”

Jill Berg appears with two children flanking her.

JILL: Hi. I’m Jill Berg. I believe the children are our future. Communities statewide are recognizing that healthy childhood experiences are not just good for children, but good for their communities as well. It’s simple really. The actions we take, like parent-child interaction, reading and constructive play, can promote healthy child development.”

“Everybody searching for a hero
People need someone to look up to
I never found anyone to fulfill my needs
A lonely place to be
So I learned to depend on me…”

The scene shifts to Jill sitting on a couch with children playing in front of her. She leans forward with her chin resting on her hand.

JILL: “Unfortunately, children are sometimes exposed to intensive stress. Too much stress is bad for anyone but it can be devastating to child development.”

Child: “BANZAI!”

Behind Jill, one boy leaps across the couch and tackles another boy.

JILL: “At a time when we all care about the economy and its effect on the family, it just makes sense to spend more time learning how stable, nurturing relationships influence a child’s developing brain and provide a foundation for all future development.”

Another boy stands on the arm of the couch, preparing to jump.

Child: “TO THE EXTREME!”

He leaps and lands a flying elbow.

JILL: “So, promote healthy child development. Take time out to play with your child-YOW!”

The camera slides back to show a young girl with a mischevious grin on her face and her foot on Jill’s expensive heels.

JILL: “Take the time to play with your child. And you and your child will be the better for it. I, Jill Berg, will do my part as well because I’m not just wrestling for me- I’m wrestling for the children!”

CHILDREN: “JILLLLL-BERG!….JILLLLLL-BERG!….JILLLLLL-BERG!”

“A PSA FROM JILL BERG”

————–

BACKSTAGE

[Missouri Valley Wrestling's Jill-Berg, dressed uber-professional-like, and her two personal assistants- one male, one female, is welcomed by Rahm Emanuel into his office. Emanuel looks at the PCW camera and then closes the door.]

———————–

Suave: “Okay. I have no clue what the hell that was all about. I have no clue why Jill-Berg, a wrestler from the Missouri Valley Wrestling Association, is here tonight. What I do know is in just a couple moments, PCW CEO Barack Obama will give the annual State of PCW speech. It’ll be interesting to see what Mr. Obama has to say as he’s completed his first full year in office as the PCW CEO. Hopefully, Mr. Obama will also tell us what our main event is tonight. I know of three matches for sure…”

-Al Cahall and PCW Hall of Famers The Drunken Luchadors vs. Brock Cole Lee, GreenPete, and PeaceNick of the Green World Order.

-Newt Tron Bomb (Republican) vs. The American Trucker (American Heartland Coalition)

-A-Bomb and H-Bomb (Republican) vs. The Goatbusters (Independent)

*flute and clarinet flourish*

Suave: “And speaking of Mr. Obama…here he comes.”

Obama: “Thank you…thank you. Democrats. Republicans. American Heartlander. Tonight, I can report to you that the State of PCW is strong and getting stronger every day!”

[The Democrats stand and enthusiastically clap. The Republicans stand and not so enthusiastically clap. The Heartlanders come in somewhere in between.]

Obama: “We had a tough year financially. But due to the financial plan put forth last year to increase revenue and make surgical cuts where necessary, PCW is on the road towards recovery.”

[The Democrats stand and enthusiastically clap. The Republicans stand and not so enthusiastically clap. The Heartlanders come in somewhere in between.]

Obama: “We need to stay the course of action we started last year and continue to book PCW in larger halls…such as the Hammerstein Ballr-”

Crowd: “RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! P-C-W!…P-C-W!…P-C-W!…”

Suave: “Yeah, yeah. Cheap pop.”

Obama: “Once Scott Brown is settled in to his new position in the PCW Executive Committee, we need to redouble our efforts to work out an agreement on providing health insurance to all the workers here in PCW.”

[The Democrats stand and enthusiastically clap. The Republicans do not stand and sit silently. The Heartlanders come in somewhere in between.]

Obama: “We need to-”

*dramatic music plays*

Suave: “What the-”

[Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Hugo Chavez, Kim Song-Il, and the rest of the Axis of Evil walk out.]

Suave: “THE AXIS OF EVIL! IS TONIGHT THE NIGHT KHALID-EL GETS HIS TITLE SHOT?”

Ahmadinejad: “The Axis of Evil is here to collect its title shot for the PCW belt.”

Obama: “That’s all well and good but-”

THUMP

THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

THUMP

THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

[The video screen goes to just outside a dressing room in the back. A police escort is waiting at the door. One of the policemen knocks on the door.]

Policeman: “Ms. Berg. It’s time.”

[The door opens and four large male bodybuilding types walk out of the dressing room surrounding Jill-Berg, Reika, and Berg's male assistant in the middle. Jill-Berg is busy talking on her cell phone while Jerry, the male assistant, furiously scribbles down notes as the group makes their way towards the ring.]

THUMP

THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

[The procession emerges from the back and starts their way down the ramp.

Her assistant has a microphone and a portable tape recorder. He flips it on.]

“JILLLLL-BERG…JILLLLL-BERG…”

[The group then continues towards the ring leaving the police escort behind.]

“JILLLLL-BERG…JILLLLL-BERG…”

[The bodyguards assist Ms. Berg into the ring. She, Reika, Jerry, and two bodyguards immediately go to a corner.]

“JILLLLL-BERG…JILLLLL-BERG…”

[Berg walks out and takes the microphone.]

“JILLLLL-BERG…JILLLLL-BERG…”

Berg: “Hello, Big Apple-”

Ahmadinejad: “Who…who is this woman.“

Crowd: “JILLLLLLL-BERG!…JILLLLLL-BERG!…”

Berg: “You can call me Ms. Berg. Not only am I a world-wide phenomenon in the realm of women’s wrestling, I am also the president of J.B.I.- Jill Berg Incorporated. Now, the reason I’m here tonight in the city that never sleeps is because obviously I have business to do here. You see, Mahmoud, you want a title shot against PCW Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism. My client, who contracted with me to be his business manager, also desires a title shot against Mr. Chism. So, after having a nice little chat with Rahm Emanuel backstage, this is what we’ve agreed to do. Jerry? Would you spell it out for Mr. Ahmadinejad?”

Jerry: “Most certainly. As per our business agreement brokered with Mr. Emanuel’s assistance, tonight’s main event will determine who the new number one contender is for the PCW Title. In said match later tonight, it will be…Khalid-El of the Axis of Evil taking on our client for the right to meet Mr. Chism for the title.”

[Ahmadinejad, Soon-Il, and Chavez confer. Finally Ahmadinejad responds.]

Ahmadinejad: “Ms. Berg. I don’t like your idea. Not at all. But it appears we have no other choice. We agree to your terms.”

Suave: “Wow! So tonight’s main event is a #1 contender’s match for the PCW title. The question is…just who is Jill-Berg’s client? I guess we’ll find out later on tonight.”

———————————

Missouri Valley Wrestling Association

Last week, MVW Champion Miss USA aligned with Christa Carmondy and her Mean Girl Clique and then offered to help Angels of Death (Angel Scott and Angel Casey) defend their MVW Tag Team titles against The Mercenaries (Dawn McGill and Jackie Daniels). Unfortunately, the plan didn’t work out…

Last Week on MVWA 18…
[The crowd roars when Miss USA, who’d stayed quiet and away from the action for the balance of the match, climbs up to the top turnbuckle. She waits until she has a clear shot at McGill and launches her Patriot Missile. Daniels whips Casey into her path and Miss USA connects right on her chin. Casey’s eyes roll up and she drops to the mat. Daniels tackles Scott. McGill covers Casey. Davey Keels counts…1…2…3!

Christa Carmondy throws a major fit ringside. Miss USA sits on the mat in shock. McGill and Daniels holds up the MVW Tag Team belts.

Angel Scott and Angel Casey are furious. They glare at Miss USA. Carmondy and her Mean Street Posse quickly jump in and pull the MVW Champion out of the ring.]

Now this week, Miss USA and Carmondy find themselves facing a very angry Angels of Death. Can the AoD get the win and get a title shot? Can Miss USA and Christa Carmondy function as a tag team? We’ll find out Sunday night.

Also last week, the return of the phenomenon known as Jill-Berg who gave a detailed report on her rivals…

Our objective continues to be the abject domination of Missouri Valley Wrestling. We recognize that the challenge is great and that Miss USA has been the MVW Champion for well over five months now. However, some chinks in her armor have developed and we intend to take full advantage of them.

a. Dawn McGill
-Miss USA parted ways with McGill last week and that in itself represents a major development in our favor. We’ve had way too many unsuccessful run-ins with Ms. McGill and would need a full-fledged, comprehensive battle plan to deal with her. McGill won the High Octane Wrestling LSD Title last Thursday night and she’s guided her 19 year old cousin Charlie Blackwell to a 6-1 record in Dream Wrestling Federation. McGill remains a formidable opponent and the fact that she is no longer associated with Miss USA is a huge tip of momentum in our direction.

b. Christa Carmondy
-Christa is the brother of MVW CEO Jason Carmondy. She has talent but her age is her biggest weakness. Christa is a character right out of the ‘Secret Life of the American Teenager’ except she can wrestle. The fact that she is now replaced Dawn McGill as Miss USA’s right hand woman means we have a golden opportunity to capture the MVW Title.

c. Miss USA
-The MVW Champion. We question her state of mind right now given the fact that she was willing to take a cheap win over Kirsta Lewis at the WWR Supershow II and has jettisoned Dawn McGill from her circle. We think she’s primed for a fall and our goal in the next couple of weeks is to position ourselves into the number one contender’s spot and take the title from her.

Also on the card:

Corrina Romanov vs. ‘Rock and Roll Chick’ Shanna Barrett w/ Molly Hatchett

Katie Collins vs. Hallie Burton.

All this and more Sunday night from the Koch Arena in Wichita, Kansas on MVWA 19.

————————–

PCW RANKINGS

PCW WORLD CHAMPION: ‘Hollywood A-Lister’ Stone Chism (Progressive Alliance)

PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION: SNAFU (American Heartland Coalition)

PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido and ’American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (American Heartland Coalition)

——————–

MATCH #1
Newt Tron Bomb (Republicans)
vs. American Trucker (American Heartland Coalition)

Suave: “We’re ready to go with our first match. Let’s go to the lovely Kimber Marshall in the ring.”

[Kimber Marshall climbs into the ring.]

Crowd: “SHE’S GOT LEGS! (clap, clap clap-clap-clap)…SHE’S GOT LEGS (clap, clap clap-clap-clap).

Kimber: “Our first match is a one fall, fifteen minute time limit. Introducing first, from Alamogordo, New Mexico, he weighs in at 200 pounds and is a member of Republicans. He’s accompanied by Daisy Cutter-Bomb- NEWT…TRON…BOMB!”

[N-Bomb and Daisy Cutter-Bomb confer in his corner.]

*’Eastbound and Down’ by Jerry Reed begins to play*

Kimber: “And his opponent, from Gary, Indiana, weighing in at 225 pounds, a member of American Heartland Coalition, accompanied by Tequila Sheila, please welcome the AMERICAN TRUCKER!”

East bound and down, loaded up and truckin’,
we’re gonna do what they say can’t be done.
We’ve got a long way to go and a short time to get there.
I’m east bound, just watch ol’ “Bandit” run.

[Tequila Sheila shakes her blender and the American Trucker burns a hole through N-Bomb with his glare.]

Suave: “Big match here in the PCW Television Title division. N-Bomb’s had plenty of title shots but hasn’t been able to get over the hump. The American Trucker is also putting the pedal to the metal to get himself into title contention.”

[The bell rings.]

Suave: “And there’s the bell. Both men slowly advance. Lock up in the middle of the ring. American Trucker has the advantage and drives N-Bomb into the corner of the ring. N-Bomb grabs the top rope and we have a break……..they lock up again. Hiptoss by American Trucker. Nicely done. N-Bomb with a spinning leg lariat on American Trucker and sends him to the mat.”

[American Trucker pops right back up and clamps his hands around N-Bomb and lifts him up. AT drops him face first and N-Bomb's stomach impacts against his knee.]

Suave: “Gutbuster by the American Trucker. He climbs the turnbuckle. Flying elbow finds the mark. Cover. One…two…kickout by N-Bomb. N-Bomb leg lariats American Trucker again. AT back up…Bulldog by N-Bomb!”

[N-Bomb wanders too close to where Tequila Sheila is standing. While he's not looking, she sneaks up onto the ring apron and whaps him in the head with her blender.]

Suave: “Tequila Sheila with a blender shot on N-Bomb. N-Bomb…grabs her by the neck…watch out!”

[American Trucker slides out and back in of the ring, bringing with him a steel-folding chair.]

Suave: “American Trucker with the steel chair *CLANG* HOLY CRAP!”

[N-Bomb sinks back into the ring ropes. AT raises the chair and nails him again. N-Bomb is busted open.]

Suave: “N-BOMB’S BLEEDING. TEQUILA SHEILA SPINS HIM AROUND…OH!”

[Tequila Sheila jumps off the ring apron and drapes N-Bomb's neck on the top rope. N-Bomb slingshots off the ropes and lands flat on his back in the ring.]

Suave: “American Trucker going up top again! Big Splash! Hooks the leg. One…two…NO! DAISY CUTTER-BOMB MAKES THE SAVE.”

[Daisy continues across the ring and dives through the ropes. She spears Tequila Sheila and drives her into the barricade.]

Suave: “DAISY MADE THE SAVE BUT NOW AMERICAN TRUCKER HAS THE DOUBLE ARMBAR SUBMISSION ON N-BOMB!”

[Tequila Sheila lays crumpled up against the barricade. Daisy slides back into the ring and lays the boots to the American Trucker, breaking the hold on N-Bomb.]

Suave: “DAISY MAKES THE SAVE AGAIN! AMERICAN TRUCKER BACK UP…HE PUSHES DAISY BACK!”

[American Trucker backs Daisy up into the corner. He doesn't see Newt Tron Bomb getting up. AT grabs Daisy by the throat. Daisy sudden holds her breath.]

Suave: “N-BOMB TURNS HIS BACK ON AMERICAN TRUCKER!”

[At the last moment, American Trucker throws Daisy face first into N-Bomb's ass. He scrambles out of the ring.]

Suave: “SILENT BUT DEADLY! SILENT BUT DEADLY! EWWWWWWW! GOD, THAT’S VILE!”

[The noxious fumes overcome Daisy and she passes out. N-Bomb turns around and realizes he got his little sister instead of American Trucker.]

Suave: “TRUCKER’S BACK IN THE RING!”

[AT grabs N-Bomb from behind. He lifts and then drives N-Bomb back first to the mat.]

Suave: “JAKE BRAKE! JAKE BRAKE! AMERICAN TRUCKER WITH A BACKSLIDE! ONE…TWO…THREE!”

WINNER: The American Trucker

Suave: “THE AMERICAN TRUCKER WITH THE WIN AND-”

[A man in a Hawaiian shirt, his valet, his butler, and two flunkies hit the ring and attack American Trucker.]

Suave: “WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?…HUH?……MAGNUM P.O’D?”

[Magnum P.O'd rains down punches on American Trucker and then throws him out of the ring. He grabs the microphone from Kimber Marshall.]

Magnum P.O’d: “THE HAWAIIAN HIT SQUAD IS HERE! MEET MY VALET ROBYN MASTERS…THE STUFFY BRITISH BUTLER IS HUGGINS…AND MY FLUNKIE FRIENDS ARE T.B. AND RICHIE. WE ARE COMING FOR THE PCW TELEVISION TITLE AND THERE’S NO ONE WHO CAN STOP US!”

[Magnum P.O'd drops the microphone and leaves with Masters...etal...]

Suave: “Magnum P.O’d? In PCW? We’ll be back right after these messages.”

———————

PPV LINE UP

Clarence Williams vs. Nathan Paradine

Klash vs. Casey Pierro-Zabotel

Grady Bunch vs. chicKEN Chokers vs. Maverick Express
Tag Team Championship Match
Elimination Tag Match

Psymon vs. Chris Bladez vs. Ozric Mortimer
Total Anarchy Match
No rules, No Mercy

Mike Polowy vs. Talon
If Mike wins he signs a lifetime contract, if he loses he must be released from contract upon request

C.R.I.P (AW) vs. Joe Drago (DEF) vs. Kronin (WMW) vs. Ryan Faze (HOW) vs. Adrien Cochrane (DWF) vs. Dawn McGill (MVW)
WWA Caged Hell Match for Bragging Rights

Cancer Jiles vs. Doozer
Champion vs Champion Championship Match

—————————–

Upcoming PCW Events:
Sunday January 31st @ Lancaster, Pennsylvania- Red Rose Indoor Arena
Monday February 1st @ Washington, D.C.- Bender Arena
Saturday February 6th @ Roanoke, Virginia- Roanoke Civic Center
Sunday February 7th @ Beckley, VWA- Raleigh County Convention Center
Monday February 8th @ Portsmouth, OH- Elks City Lodge
Saturday February 13th @ Wauseon, OH- Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon
Sunday February 14th @ Toledo, OH- Lucas County Arena
Monday February 15th @ Cleveland, OH- Agora Theater

———————–

[Inside the ring is D.W.I.: Al Cahall and PCW Hall of Famers (to be) The Drunken Luchadors Dan and Don Martini with Colonel DeBauchery]

Al Cahall: “Hello. How are all my Al Cahall-ics tonight?”

Crowd: “RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!”

Al Cahall: “That’s what I thought. Please give it up for incoming PCW Hall of Famer, former TWO-time, I said, TWO-TIME PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS- THE DRUNKEN LUCHADORS DAN AND DON MARTINI!”

Crowd: “RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH…WELCOME BACK! (clap, clap clap-clap-clap)…WELCOME BACK! (clap, clap clap-clap-clap).”

[The Martini's hold up their bottles of Jack Daniels...guzzle the contents down...and then smash the bottles over their heads.]

Sauve: “You know, that might seem a little extreme to some. But it works for the Martinis.”

['Extreme Vegan' Brock Cole Lee, GreenPete, PeaceNick, and Peta from PETA aka...The Green World Order walk out.]

Crowd: “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

Brock Cole Lee: “The world is a mess. People are fatter and more out of shape than in any time in history.

PeaceNick: “The American occupation of Iraq. The war in Afghanistan.”

GreenPete: “Global warming threatens our very existance. Animals are on the verge of extinction.”

Peta from PETA: “And worse, they’re being exploited like that poor groundhog in Punxsutawney!”

Brock Cole Cole: “What exactly are you celebrating right now?”

[Cahall, the Martinis, and Colonel DeBauchery all look at each other and smile.]

Col. DeBauchery: “Why, we’re celebrating being alive.”

[Colonel DeBauchery, looking like a bizarre combination of the AWA's Colonel DeBeers and Lt. Aldo from Inglorious Basterds, steps forward.]

Col. DeBauchery: “You probably heard we ain’t in the take no prisoner-takin’ business like usual wrasslers; we in the killin’ brewskis business…”

[Colonel DeBauchery takes a bottle of beer and chugs it down.]

Col. DeBauchery: “And cousin, Business is a-boomin’.

[Cahall raises his glass and chugs his beer down.]

Col. DeBauchery: “That’s what I like to hear. But I got a word of warning for all you would-be drunken warriors, you join Drunken Warriors Inebriated or D.W.I. you take on a debit, a debit you owe me personally. Each and every man under my command owes me one-hundred…

[DeBauchery peels the label off his beer bottle.]

Col. DeBauchery: “labels off anything alcoholic you drink. And I want my labels! And all y’all will get me one-hundred labels taken from the bottles of one-hundred empty bottles… or you will die trying!”

Al Cahall: “Here’s mine.”

[Cahall hands Col. DeBauchery a plastic bag full of labels. The Martinis motion to the back and a forklift begins driving down with a huge box. A few labels flutter from the box as the forklift reaches ringside.]

Col. DeBauchery: “Now, that’s what I like to see. As I said, bizness is a booming-”

[The Green World Order, save PeaceNick, hit the ring and interrupt the Colonel.]

Suave: “THE GREEN WORLD ORDER’S ATTACKING D.W.I.!”

[Extreme Vegan Brock Cole Lee heaves Colonel DeBauchery over the top rope. GreenPete tackles Al Cahall. Peta jumps on Don Martini's back and begins to choke him out. Meanwhile, PeaceNick protests the violence on the outside.]

——————–

BACKSTAGE

[Jill-Berg's bodyguards escort what appears to be a rather large man shrouded in a hood and blankets into her suite. Jerry, Berg's personal assistant, comes out of the suite in a huff and puts his hand up.]

Jerry: “NO! NO PICTURES! NO NOTHING!”

[Jerry's hand envelopes the picture until it's completely black.]

———————-

BACKSTAGE

[A-Bomb and H-Bomb's Dressing room. The A-Bomb, H-Bomb, and Daisy Cutter-Bomb are seated while General R.C. Patton paces manically in front of them.]

General Patton: “Men, and lady. This stuff that some sources are slinging around about the Bomb Brothers not being able to take the next step, to win the PCW Tag Team title and bring it back to the Republicans, is a crock of bullshit. Americans love to fight, traditionally. All real Americans love the sting and clash of battle. We’re going to win this war, but we’ll win it only by fighting and by showing each and every tag team in PCW that we’ve got more guts than they have; or ever will have. We’re not going to just pin the sons-of-bitches, we’re going to rip out their living Goddamned guts and use them to grease the treads of our tanks.”

Daisy: “Tanks?”

General Patton: “Er…it’s just a metaphor. Now, we are not interested in holding onto anything, except the enemy’s balls…”

A-Bomb: “And the PCW Tag Team title.”

General Patton: “*sigh* Yes. And the PCW Tag Team title. We are going to twist their balls and kick the living shit out of him all of the time. Our basic plan of operation is to advance and to keep on advancing regardless of whether we have to go over, under, or through the enemy. We are going to go through him like crap through a goose; like shit through a tin horn! The harder WE push, the more wins we will have. The more we win, the higher we will advance until the day comes that we reach our objective. You may be thankful that twenty years from now when you are sitting by the fireplace with your grandson on your knee and he asks you what you did in the great PCW, you WON’T have to cough, shift him to the other knee and say, ‘Well, your Granddaddy shoveled shit in Louisiana.’ No, Sir, you can look him straight in the eye and say, ‘Son, your Granddaddy tag teamed with his brother led by a Son-of-a- Goddamned-Bitch named R.C. Patton! Now, let’s go!”

——————

Suave: “I wonder if he does speaking engagements?”

MATCH #2
A. Tom Bomb and Hy Drogen Bomb w/General R.C. Patton and Daisy Cutter-Bomb (Republican)
vs. The Goatbusters (Independent)

[A-Bomb, H-Bomb, and Daisy run to the ring followed by General R.C. Patton. Kimber Marshall is already there.]

Kimber: “Our next match is a one fall, fifteen minute time limit. Introducing first, from Alamogordo, NM, accompanied to the ring by General R.C. Patton and Daisy Cutter-Bomb, the team of A. TOM BOMB and HY DROGEN BOMB!”

*Spooky music begins followed by a funky beat*

If there’s something grazing
In your neighborhood
Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)
If you see a herd
And it don’t look good
Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)

I ain’t afraid of no Goat
I ain’t afraid of no Goat

If you’re seeing horns
Running through your yard
Who can you call
(Goatbusters)
If you have a goat
Sleeping in your bed
Oh, who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)

I ain’t afraid of no Goat
I ain’t afraid of no Goat

Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)
If you’re all alone
Pick up the phone
And call
(Goatbusters)

I ain’t afraid of no Goat
I hear it likes the girls
I ain’t afraid of no Goat
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)
If you’ve had a dose
Of a freaky Goat
Maybe you’d better call
(Goatbusters)

Let me tell you something
Bustin’ makes me feel good

I ain’t afraid of no Goat
I ain’t afraid of no Goat

[The Goatbusters, Peter Jenkman and Ray Scantz climb into the ring along with their manager, Argon.]

Kimber: “And their opponents, from New York City, accompanied by Argon, Peter Jenkman, Ray Scantz- they are the GOATBUSTERS!”

Don’t get caught alone, oh no
(Goatbusters)
When it comes through your door
Unless you just want some more
I think you better call
(Goatbusters)
Ow

Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)
Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)
Ah, I think you better call
(Goatbusters)…

Suave: “Big match here. The winner gets Public Utilities for a shot at the PCW Tag Team titles.”

[The bell rings.]

Suave: “H-Bomb, Jenkman to start. Lock up in the middle of the ring. H-Bomb just shoves Jenkman down.”

[Jenkman back up. He tries a bodyblock. He bounces right off of the much larger H-Bomb.]

Suave: “Not a smart move. H-Bomb whips Jenkman to the corner of the ring. He charges…oooh….Big Splash against the turnbuckle. Now Jenkman hangs on to the top rope for dear life. H-Bomb tears him away…front facelock now by H-Bomb.”

[H-Bomb throws Jenkman's near arm over his shoulder. He grabs Jenkman's tights and lifts him up straight in the air. H-Bomb twists and slams Jenkman down. Cover. One...two...Jenkman somehow gets the shoulder up. H-Bomb stomps away at Jenkman. He drags him over to his corner and tags in A-Bomb. A-Bomb joins in the stomping.]

Suave: “Double team work by A-Bomb and H-Bomb. A-Bomb whips Jenkman into the ropes…DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE! COVER! ONE…TWO…NO! Jenkman kicked out. The referee finally gets H-Bomb out of there. A-Bomb with a jumping elbow thrust on Jenkman. Jenkman again whipped off the ropes……cross-body block by A-Bomb. Cover. No. Jenkman kicks out.”

[A-Bomb climbs to the top of the turnbuckle and hits the diving headbutt on Jenkman. Jenkman tries to get to his corner but A-Bomb drags him back to his corner and tags H-Bomb back in. H-Bomb Russian Leg Sweeps Jenkman.]

Suave: “Jenkman needs a tag out in the worst way. H-Bomb drops the leg. He calls for a chair…now what are they doing? H-Bomb with the chair. A-Bomb to the top. Missile dropkick on the way.”

[A-Bomb drives the chair into Jenkman's face with his feet.]

Suave: “HOLY CRAP! H-BOMB COVERS.”

[This time, Scantz and Argon try to get into the ring. A-Bomb double clotheslines them. One...two...three.]

Suave: “THAT’S IT! A-BOMB AND H-BOMB GET A VERY CONVINCING VICTORY HERE TONIGHT!”

[A-Bomb whips Scantz through the ropes. H-Bomb grabs Argon and drapes his throat over the top rope. A-Bomb off the ropes and drives Argon's throat into the top rope. Argon pitches backwards off the ropes and trips over Jenkman. General Patton in the ring and approves.]

Suave: “MAIN EVENT NEXT! WE’LL BE RIGHT BACK!”

————————–

Every Friday Night on HOTv

HOTv Replay: Baron Von Munchke (Independent) vs. DVD (Island of Misfit Wrestlers)
…Von Munchke reverses a bodyscissors with a chinlock. Von Munchke blocks a Superman Spear with a knee and back suplexes DVD into the turnbuckles. He adds a corner dropkick and shuffling kicks. Von Munchke slaps the Claw on DVD and that does it.

HOTv Replay: ‘PCW’s Latest Rookie Sensation’ Bird ‘The Mark’ Ridfych (Independent) vs. ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (American Heartland Coalition)
…Ridfych desperately throws some more punches at Scott, but Scott comes back quickly with a Tornado DDT from the second turnbuckle for two. Ridfych mounts another attempted comeback and gets crotched on the top rope. Scott brings him down to the mat with a Frankensteiner for two. Ridfych gets a sudden flying bodypress in for two. Running out of ideas, he simply punches Scott down for another two. Irish whip and a splash by Ridfych. Slam and a moonsault gets two. Powerbomb by Ridfych and he tries to finish with a tumbleweed for two. Superkick and a chop by Ridfych. He sends Scott into the ropes and Scott applies a bodyscissors coming back and flips himself and Ridfych over, rolling Ridfych into the Cattle Mutilation. PCW’s Latest Rookie Sensation quickly taps out.

Sunday – January 31st, 2010

Missouri Valley Wrestling presents MVWA 19

DREAM Wrestling presents their Scrambled Dreams Pay-Per-View

————————-

——————–

MATCH #3
‘Iran’s Weapon of Mass Destruction’ Khalid-El w/Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (Axis of Evil)
vs. ?????????

Suave: “We’re back and Khalid-El is out here already along with the rest of the Axis of Evil. Ahmadinejad. Kim Song-Il. Hugo Chavez. The only question is, who is he wrestling?”

THUMP

THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

THUMP

THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

[The video screen goes to just outside a dressing room in the back. A police escort is waiting at the door. One of the policemen knocks on the door.]

Policeman: “Ms. Berg. It’s time.”

THUMP

THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

[The procession emerges from the back and starts their way down the ramp.

Her assistant has a microphone and a portable tape recorder. He flips it on.]

“JILLLLL-BERG…JILLLLL-BERG…”

[The group then continues towards the ring leaving the police escort behind.]

“JILLLLL-BERG…JILLLLL-BERG…”

[The bodyguards assist Ms. Berg into the ring. She, Reika, Jerry, and two bodyguards immediately go to a corner.]

“JILLLLL-BERG…JILLLLL-BERG…”

[Berg walks out and takes the microphone.]

“JILLLLL-BERG…JILLLLL-BERG…”

[Berg motions to Kimber Marshall to begin the introductions.]

Kimber: “Our main event is a one fall twenty minute time limit. First, in this corner, from Tehran, Iran, weighing in at 335 pounds, he is Iran’s Weapon of Mass Destruction and managed by Mahmound Ahmadinejad. He is KHALID-EL!”

Crowd: “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

Berg: “And his opponent, flown at my cost all the way in from Nagano, Japan, my first signee as a member of Jill Berg Inc., weighing in at 350 pounds and the NEXT PCW CHAMPION- PLEASE WELCOME…YAMAMATO TANAKA!”

Suave: “WHAT!’

[A spotlight illuminates a small area in the back of the ball room where Yamamato Tanaka rumbles down the aisle to the ring followed by paramedics and a portable defibrillator. ]

Crowd: “HOLY S***! HOLY S***! HOLY S***!”

Suave: “THE LAST TIME WE SAW YAMAMATO TANAKA WAS AT THE WWR SUPERSHOW II LAST MONTH! HE’S BEEN SIGNED TO P-C-W?”

[Tanaka climbs into the ring and confers with Berg through her personal assistant, Jerry.]

Suave: “Tanaka versus Khalid-El. Clash of the freakin’ titans!”

Crowd: “F*** him up, Tanaka, f*** him up! (clap, clap)…F*** him up, Tanaka, f*** him up! (clap, clap)”

Suave: “No doubt who the crowd favors in this one. There’s the bell.”

[Tanaka and Khalid-El lock up in the middle. They spin each other around before Tanaka takes Khalid-El into the corner. Khalid-El grabs the rope and the ref separates the two. Khalid-El tries to sneak in a strike but Tanaka ducks and nails him with two punches.]

Suave: “Tanaka tried for third shot but referee Davey Keel stopped him. Tanaka and Khalid-El lock up again. Khalid-El now with a chinlock…but Tanaka reverses into one of his own. Tanaka sends him for the ride…”

[Multiple shoulderblocks from Tanaka to Khalid-El. He motions for a punch but Khalid-El falls to the ground to avoid. Khalid-El gets up and knees Tanaka. He then attacks him in the back. He attacks Tanaka in the face and then goes back to the back. He throws Tanaka's face into the turnbuckle and then kicks the lower leg. Khalid-El whips Tanaka but the momentum is reversed Hiptoss by Tanaka. Another one. Tanaka whips Khalid-El into the ropes and takes him down with a dropkick. He clotheslines Khalid-El out of the ring and struts.]

Suave: “Tanaka strutting?”

[The crowd responds when Axis of Evil member Fernando Venezuela runs down and bulldogs Tanaka from behind. Venezuela whips Tanaka into the turnbuckle post shoulder first. He trash talks Tanaka and then throws a punch to the head. He follows that up with more strikes to the head.]

Suave: “TANAKA IS GETTING TAKEN APART BY VENEZUELA…the wrestler, not the country.”

Khalid-El rolls out and slams Tanaka ’s wrist onto the steel steps. He rolls back in to reset the strike and goes back out to do it again. Venezuela rolls him back into the ring. Khalid-El applies a hammerlock. He lifts Tanaka and drops him to the mat.]

Suave: “FOR THE PINNNNNN…NO! TANAKA EASILY KICKS OUT!”

[Pinfall gets a one count. Khalid-El continues to work over the arm of Tanaka. Tanaka gets back to his feet and strikes Khalid-El in the gut. He sends Khalid-El into the corner but charges into an Khalid-El boot. DDT from Khalid-El to Tanaka. Two count. Punch from Khalid-El to Tanaka. Khalid-El whips Tanaka and Tanaka avoids two Khalid-El strikes. Khalid-El tries a sleeper but Tanaka avoids that too. Khalid-El applies a wrist lock. Tanaka gets to his feet and attacks Khalid-El. He tries to attack but Khalid-El is there with a shoulderblock. Pinfall gets two.]

Suave: “SO FAR, KHALID-EL IS DOING A GREAT JOB OF NEGATING TANAKA’S POWER!”

[Tanaka schoolboys him and knocks him on his ass. Khalid-El tries to worm out, but Todd Sinclair isn't having it. Tanaka goes for the Japanese Destroyer and Sharpshooter early, but Khalid-El scurries to the floor and hits a double ax-handle. Back in, Khalid-El locks in the stump-puller. Tanaka counters the Pendulum Elbow to the Sharpshooter, but Khalid-El goes to the eyes. Tanaka slingshots into a Codebreaker for two. Khalid-El counters the Destroyer to multiple shinbreakers and a figure-four leglock. Tanaka makes the ropes, but Khalid-El switches up to the Last Chancery. Williams knees out of the Brainbuster once but gets dropped on a second try. ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! A series of reversals leads to the JAPANESE DESTROYER! ONE, TWO, THRE-hand on the ropes. Sharpshooter, but Khalid-El rolls through and sends Tanaka to the floor. HEAT-SEEKING MISSILE! Khalid-El locks in the Last Chancery, but they're in the ropes. Khalid-El sets him on top and goes for the Avalanche Brainbuster. Tanaka fights him off and hits the SUPER JAPANESE DESTROYER!]

Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”

Crowd: “HOLY S***! HOLY S***!”

Suave: “Khalid-El bounced all the way across the ring to the edge! Ahmadinejad and Venezuela are pulling him out of the ring!”

[Khalid-El is drug from the ring and the Axis of Evil begin to head towards the back.]

Crowd: “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

Suave: “What the hell? They’re leaving?”

[The referee begins to count them out.]

Suave: “This was a great match. It’s a shame that we’re going to get a crappy ending.”

Crowd: “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

[The referee reaches 20 and calls the match. Jill-Berg is extremely pleased.]

Suave: “That’s it! Yamamato Tanaka gets the title shot!”

[Kimber Marshall into the ring.]

Kimber: “The winner of this match by count-out and new #1 contender to the PCW Title- YAMAMATO TANAKA!”

Suave: “HOPEFULLY NEXT WEEK WE FIND OUT WHEN TANAKA GETS HIS SHOT AGAINST THE PCW CHAMPION! THAT’S ALL FOR THIS WEEK. I’M JOHNNY SUAVE! SEE YOU NEXT TIME!”

————————–

Filed under: Average Joe, Barack Obama, Independents, Joe the Plumber, Paul Heyman, Politics, Pro Wrestling, Small Town America, democrats, joe six pack, political satire, political wrestling, red state, republicans, wordpress political blogs | Tagged: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad | Leave a Comment »

PCW/MVW Friday Night Wrestling on HOTv

Posted on January 29, 2010 by Political Championship Wrestling

PCW/MVW Friday Night Wrestling on HOTv
Friday January 29th
Hosts: Rick Fantastic and Chastity Gold

[Rick and Chastity sit behind the broadcast desk.]

Rick: “Good evening and welcome to another edition of MVW/PCW Friday Night Wrestling here on HOTv. I’m Rick Fantastic along with Chastity Gold and for the next hour we’ll check out the best matches from PCW/MVW’s house shows earlier this week.”

Chastity: “That’s right, Rick. We’ve got four matches on tap for tonight and let’s run them down right now.”

MATCH #1 from MVW’s 1/25 House Show in Topeka, Kansas
Trailer Park Skater Girl Tanya Hardy with Trailer Trash Barbi
vs. VIP Brin w/VIP Sky

MATCH #2 from 1/24 PCW’s House Show in Danbury, CT
‘The King of Old School Gimmicks’ Baron Von Munchke (Independent)
vs. Dick Van Dam (Island of Misfit Wrestlers)

MATCH #3 from MVW’s 1/25 House Show in Topeka, Kansas ‘Lingerie Girl’ Brandi Bayless vs. ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas

MATCH #4 from 1/24 PCW House Show in Danbury, CT
‘PCW’s Latest Rookie Sensation’ Bird ‘The Mark’ Ridfych (Independent)
vs. ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (American Heartland Coalition)

Rick: “We’ll also run down this weekend’s PCW and Missouri Valley Wrestling action.

Chastity: “But first, let’s go back to Missouri Valley Wrestling’s Monday night show in Topeka, Kansas. it’s Trailer Park Skater Girl Tanya Hardy versus VIP Brin!

MATCH #1 from MVW’s 1/25 House Show in Topeka, Kansas
Trailer Park Skater Girl Tanya Hardy with Trailer Trash Barbi
vs. VIP Brin w/VIP Sky
Hardy and Trailer Trash Barbi attack VIP Brin before the bell. Double team work sends Brin sprawling to the outside. They brawl some more. Trailer Trash Barbi gets a sleeper on Brin and then VIP Sky runs in. Barbi and Sky end up rolling on the floor. VIP Brin suplexes Hardy on the floor. VIP Brin lands a missile dropkick and follows with a dive to the outside. Hardy pedigrees VIP Brin on the ring apron. Back in, VIP Brin lands a flying crossbody but Hardy starts going to work on her left leg. VIP Brin locks in an octopus stretch but Hardy breaks out by going back to the leg. VIP Brin hits a double stomp, hurting her leg in the process. Hardy answers with a lungblower. VIP Brin synchs in a texas cloverleaf but Hardy makes the ropes. Hardy misses a dive and VIP Brin victory rolls her for the win.

WINNER: VIP Brin at 5:15

Rick: “VIP Brin takes the match. We’ll be back with more right after this.”

——————–

After surviving the challenge of ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott and the American Heartland Coalition last week, Khalid-El and the Axis of Evil appear to be ready to make their claim to the PCW title. The main event for this week is still up in the air? Will it be Khalid-El versus ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism for the title? It seems logical enough but in PCW logic often gets turned on its head.

Two weeks ago, Colonel DeBauchery and Drunk Warriors Inc. aka…D.W.I. made their debut to much fanfare. This week, D.W.I. face off against one of their few detractors- the Green World Order. It’ll be Al Cahall and PCW Hall of Famer’s-to-be the Drunken Luchadors against ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee, GreenPete, and PeaceNick.

Newt Tron Bomb (Republican) meets The American Trucker (American Heartland Coalition).

And N-Bomb’s big brothers, A. Tom Bomb and Hy Drogen Bomb (Republican) meet the Goatbusters in a tag team elimination match with the winner facing Public Utilities next week for a shot at the PCW Tag Team Title.

All the extreme political action and more coming this Saturday on PCW Extreme Political TV on P-SPAN.

————————–

Rick: “We are back on Friday Night Wrestling, right here on HOTv. PCW hit Danbury, Connecticut this past Sunday night for a house show. We have the former PCW Television Champion going up against Dick Van Dam right here on Friday Night Wrestling.”

MATCH #2 from 1/24 PCW’s House Show in Danbury, CT
‘The King of Old School Gimmicks’ Baron Von Munchke (Independent)
vs. Dick Van Dam (Island of Misfit Wrestlers)

DVD attacks before the bell. They dodge each other’s strikes. Von Munchke pounces and lands a dive to the outside. Back in, DVD blocks a superkick and connects with a gamenguiri. He follows with a nasty kick in the corner along with his judo throw. Von Munchke reverses a bodyscissors with a chinlock. Von Munchke blocks a Superman Spear with a knee and back suplexes DVD into the turnbuckles. He adds a corner dropkick and shuffling kicks. Von Munchke slaps the Claw on DVD and that does it.

WINNER: ‘The King of Old School Gimmicks’ Baron Von Munchke in 4:43

Chastity: “Short and to the point.”

Rick: “The King of Old School Gimmicks wins in Danbury, Connecticut. More Friday Night Wrestling right after this.”

———————

Friday – January 29th, 2010

Volatile Wrestling Alliance presents Rapture,

Sunday – January 31st, 2010

Missouri Valley Wrestling presents MVWA 19

DREAM Wrestling presents their Scrambled Dreams Pay-Per-View

—————–

PPV LINE UP

Clarence Williams vs. Nathan Paradine

Klash vs. Casey Pierro-Zabotel

Grady Bunch vs. chicKEN Chokers vs. Maverick Express
Tag Team Championship Match
Elimination Tag Match

Psymon vs. Chris Bladez vs. Ozric Mortimer
Total Anarchy Match
No rules, No Mercy

Mike Polowy vs. Talon
If Mike wins he signs a lifetime contract, if he loses he must be released from contract upon request

C.R.I.P (AW) vs. Joe Drago (DEF) vs. Kronin (WMW) vs. Ryan Faze (HOW) vs. Adrien Cochrane (DWF) vs. Dawn McGill (MVW)
WWA Caged Hell Match for Bragging Rights

Cancer Jiles vs. Doozer
Champion vs Champion Championship Match

———————-

Rick: “And now, our next match features one of Missouri Valley Wrestling’s most popular wrestlers. And after you take one look at her, you’ll know the reason why.”

‘Lingerie Girl’ Brandi Bayless

Chastity: “Down boy.”

Rick: “It’s Lingerie Girl’ Brandi Bayless against ‘The Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas from Monday night right here on Friday Night Wrestling.”

MATCH #3 from MVW’s 1/25 House Show in Topeka, Kansas
‘Lingerie Girl’ Brandi Bayless vs. ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas
Dallas has quite the height advantage. Dallas also seems to have a focus advantage too because she dominates the first ten minutes on the mat, in the up-tempo game, and through brawling. she even has time to stop and tell Bayless that she’s got 60 minutes to beat on her . That’s just cruel. Bayless is finally able to fire off a few shoulderblocks and inverted DDT. Dallas catches Bayless on the outside and RAMS her into the barricade. Back in, Dallas continues to hit move after move, but Bayless keeps kicking out. ROLLING ELBOW! ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! Bayless hits a TKO for two, but Dallas catches her with another elbow and the Lygerbomb! ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! Dallas readies for another elbow, but Bayless collapses. Bayless catches her going up and hits a HURACANRANA FROM THE TOP ROPE TO THE FLOOR! Dallas is dead weight, so Bayless drags her in and hits the piledriver. ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! Dallas sets up for a powerbomb, but Bayless rolls through for two. The fans are getting behind Dallas at this point. Bayless talks to the referee about the ’slow’ count so Dallas clocks her from behind. ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! Dallas puts on a loaded elbowpad. BAYLESS DUCKS! Small package! ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! Bayless steals the elbowpad, but Dallas clocks her with the naked forearm. ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! Dallas is furious and decides to take a walk outside the ring.

Bayless jumps off the apron, but Dallas darts out of the way, sending Bayless face-first into the barricade. Immediately, Bayless starts pouring blood over everything. Dallas puts her in the Boston Crab to really give us a good look. Bayless escapes, so Dallas DDTs her on the floor! Back in, Dallas gets two off the Schwein. Bayless finally gets her wits about her and hits a superplex for two. BOSTON CRAB! Dallas makes the ropes. Uranage backbreaker! ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! Backbeaker on the apron! ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! Half-Nelson backbreaker! ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! That sets up the Boston Crab! The fans think this is it, but Dallas makes the ropes. Bayless gets one last burst with the Yakuza before collapsing. Dallas hits the TKO and Cradle Piledriver. ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! Another Cradle Piledriver finishes the match.

WINNER: ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas in 14:16

Chastity: “What a great match, Rick…Rick?……RICK!”

Rick: “Oh…sorry…Haley Dallas gets a much needed win over the lovely and incredible Lingerie Girl, Brandi Bayless. After I go take a cold shower, we’ll have our Main Event right after this.”

————————

Missouri Valley Wrestling Association

Christa Carmondy throws a major fit ringside. Miss USA sits on the mat in shock. McGill and Daniels holds up the MVW Tag Team belts.

Angel Scott and Angel Casey are furious. They glare at Miss USA. Carmondy and her Mean Street Posse quickly jump in and pull the MVW Champion out of the ring.]

Also last week, the return of the phenomenon known as Jill-Berg who gave a detailed report on her rivals…

Also on the card:

Corrina Romanov vs. ‘Rock and Roll Chick’ Shanna Barrett w/ Molly Hatchett

Katie Collins vs. Hallie Burton.

All this and more Sunday night from the Koch Arena in Wichita, Kansas on MVWA 19.

————————–

Rick: “We’re back on Friday Night Wrestling here on HOTv. I’m Rick Fantastic along with Chastity Gold and we’ve got an intriguing Main Event here tonight.”

Chastity: “From PCW’s Sunday house show in Danbury, PCW’s Latest Rookie Sensation’ Bird ‘The Mark’ Ridfych takes on ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott.”

Rick: “Scott is one half of the PCW Tag Team Champions along with ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido. He also just had a tough match the night before against the Axis of Evil’s Khalid-El so how would he fare against the young Ridfych? Let’s find out.”

MATCH #4 from 1/24 PCW House Show in Danbury, CT
‘PCW’s Latest Rookie Sensation’ Bird ‘The Mark’ Ridfych (Independent)
vs. ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (American Heartland Coalition)
Before the match starts, Ridfych kneels down in his corner and cleans the area up with his hands.

Side headlock by Scott to start. Shoulderblock goes nowhere because Ridfych makes it a point to use his good shoulder. Scott is able to take him down and apply headscissors. Ridfych counters to an STF, and Scott reverses it into a hammerlock faster than should really be humanly possible. Suplex by Scott and Ridfych decides to take a breather. Back in, he gives Scott a shove that actually resonates and Scott kips up. Both men trade takedowns and it’s a stalemate while the fans applaud. Ridfych offers a handshake, and Scott happily accepts…and makes it a short-arm clothesline. Well, yeah.

Somersault splash by Scott and he applies the Scorpion deathlock. Ridfych slides right out and tries to make it a leglock, but Scott makes it to the ropes. Dropkick by Scott, followed by a brainbuster. Splash gets two. Headlock by Scott and some great camerawork gives us a great touch by Ridfych, who seems to be plotting his next move while fighting the hold. Underhook armdrag and a dropkick by Ridfych. Superkick served with extra “SMACK!” by Ridfych and he tosses Scott to the floor. Ridfych gives Scott two of the hardest Irish whips ever into the barricades, Both men are brawling on the floor. Scott atomic drops Ridfych on the barricade and grabs a strap. He smashes Ridfych’s face with the buckle and then chokes him out. He uses the belt to whip him into the barricade and then just cracks it across Ridfych’s back as hard as he possibly can. Scott goes back to choking Ridfych and then ties him to the bottom rope. Scott boots the crap out of Ridfych and then continues punching him down in the corner.

Finally, Ridfych suplexes him back inside for two. Double underhook suplex by Ridfych gets two. Scott fights back with a low-blow and before Ridfych can even fight back, he takes him down with a clothesline. Ridfych goes back to the floor. Scott goes to the top rope and splashes him from the top and onto the concrete. With an “Scott!” chant still echoing, both men head back inside, and Scott clamps on a Perfectplex gets two. Ridfych finally connects with a right hand.

Crowd: “Fast-BALL!”

And another.

Crowd: “Fast-BALL!”

And a third.

Crowd: “Fast-BALL!”

And a nasty right hook.

Crowd: “Sliiiiii-DER!”

Ridfych desperately throws some more punches at Scott, but Scott comes back quickly with a Tornado DDT from the second turnbuckle for two. Ridfych mounts another attempted comeback and gets crotched on the top rope. Scott brings him down to the mat with a Frankensteiner for two. Ridfych gets a sudden flying bodypress in for two. Running out of ideas, he simply punches Scott down for another two. Irish whip and a splash by Ridfych. Slam and a moonsault gets two. Powerbomb by Ridfych and he tries to finish with a tumbleweed for two. Superkick and a chop by Ridfych. He sends Scott into the ropes and Scott applies a bodyscissors coming back and flips himself and Ridfych over, rolling Ridfych into the Cattle Mutilation. PCW’s Latest Rookie Sensation quickly taps out.

WINNER: ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott in 17:02

Post match, Ridfych shakes hands with Scott, the referee, the ring girl, the time keeper, and Kimber Marshall- the ring announcer.

Rick: “Great match. Kevin Scott bounces back from a tough loss the night before to get a win over the PCW’s Latest Rookie Sensation.”

Chastity: “I thought Ridfych acquitted himself very well against the well-seasoned Kevin Scott, Rick.”

Rick: “Yes he did. That’ll do it for another edition of MVW/PCW Friday Night Wrestling. I’m Rick Fantastic.”

Chastity: “I’m Chastity Gold.”

Rick: “We’ll see you next week. Stay tuned for Volatile Wrestling on HOTv.

Filed under: Average Joe, Blogs- Pro Wrestling, Independents, Joe the Plumber, Paul Heyman, Pro Wrestling, Small Town America, Third Party, democrats, joe six pack, political satire, political wrestling, red state, republicans | Tagged: ECW, Miss USA, ROH, TNA, WWF | Leave a Comment »

PCW Extreme Political TV on P-SPAN Preview

Posted on January 27, 2010 by Political Championship Wrestling

Newt Tron Bomb (Republican) meets The American Trucker (American Heartland Coalition).

All the extreme political action and more coming this Saturday on PCW Extreme Political TV on P-SPAN.

Filed under: Average Joe, Barack Obama, Blogs- Pro Wrestling, Independents, Joe the Plumber, Paul Heyman, Politics, Pro Wrestling, Small Town America, Third Party, joe six pack, political satire, political wrestling, red state, republicans, wordpress political blogs | Tagged: American Trucker, Axis of Evil, ECW, Hollywood, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, ROH, TNA, WWE | 1 Comment »

1/23- PCW Extreme Political TV on P-SPAN

Posted on January 24, 2010 by Political Championship Wrestling

PCW Extreme Political TV (1 Hour)
Valley Sports Arena
Concord, Massachusetts
Saturday January 23rd
Host: Johnny Suave

[Johnny Suave stands in the middle of the ring.]

Suave: “Welcome to PCW Extreme Political TV! I am Johnny Suave and we are live tonight from the Valley Sports Arena in Concord, Massachusetts. Last week, well, it wasn’t the greatest week for the PCW Champion, ‘The One-Man Hollywood A-Lister’ Stone Chism. Let’s go back to last week’s show…”

Replay: 1/16 PCW Extreme Political TV
Suave: “SNAFU and McGill clear out the SRB. CHISM DOESN’T SEE SCOTT! SCHOOLBOY ROLL UP! ONE…TWO…THREE!”

Crowd: “RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!

[The referee calls for the bell. Chism sits up incredulous at what just happened. Scott makes the 'belt around my waist' gesture at him.]

Suave: “KEVIN SCOTT PULLS OFF THE WIN!”

[Scott high-fives Escondido. SNAFU and McGill taunt Chism. Kimber Marshall climbs into the ring.]

Kimber: “The winner of this match- ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott!”

[Scott takes the microphone from Marshall.]

Scott: “Hey Chism! Sorry that I lowered your rating some more. Now that I’ve proven that I can beat you, I want my title-”

[Khalid-El of the Axis of Evil attacks Scott from behind.]

Suave: “AXIS OF EVIL! AXIS OF EVIL!”

[Mahmoud Ahmadinejad directs Byung Hyung Kang and Fernando Venezuela into the ring. Khalid-El lifts Scott up by the throat and choke slams him. Venezuela goes after SNAFU and McGill. Kang attacks Escondido.]

Crowd: “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

Suave: “IT’S CHAOS! VENEZUELA HAS SNAFU AND McGILL BY THE THROAT! DOUBLE CHOKE SLAM! HOLY CRAP!”

[Fatima and Soon Ye are directed by Kim Song-Il- dictator of North Korea and Hugo Chavez- dictator of Venezuela to set up tables in the ring]

Crowd: “**** YOU HUGO! (clap, clap clap-clap-clap) **** YOU HUGO! (clap, clap clap-clap-clap).”

[Two tables are set up. Chism is draped across one; Scott across the other.]

Suave: “Oh…no.”

[McGill slowly rolls over. Soon Ye and Fatima start kicking away at her. The SRB are unconscious at ringside. Kang throws Escondido over the top rope. He lands hard on the floor. Khalid-El climbs one turnbuckle; Fernando Venezuela climbs the other. Ahmadinejad waves his arms. They jump.]

Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”

Crowd: “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

Ahmadinejad: “SHUT UP!”

Crowd: “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

Ahmadinejad: “WE WARNED YOU. WE TOLD YOU. KHALID-EL IS THE TRUE CHAMPION! HE DESERVES TITLE!”

Crowd: “SHUT THE **** UP! SHUT THE **** UP!…”

Ahmadinejad: “SO AMERICAN SATAN…GIVE KHALID-EL HIS TITLE!”

—————

Suave: “Tonight, Khalid-El takes a step forward towards a title shot as he faces ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott. Also on the card tonight…SNAFU defends his PCW Television title with Dawn McGill in his corner (American Heartland Coalition) against former TV champion Baron Von Munchke. The $64,000 question with Baron Von Munchke will be this: who will be in his corner? Dr. Bill? Or Movie Classic? Also, Jack Schett and Bull Schett (Ron Paul’s New Libertarian Army) vs. Big Oil and Big Electric (Public Utilities).”

[RINO (Republican in Name Only) walks out with his Bi-partisan Dream Team tag team partner Blue Dog D.]

Suave: “But first, here comes RINO! He’s still basking in his big win this past Tuesday night in Boston, MA.”

Replay: RINO w/Scott Brown (Republicans) vs. Paddy O’Kennedy w/Martha Coakley (Democrats) from 1/19
[O'Kennedy shoves Schilling. Schilling rears back and nails him with a stiff right hand.]

Chastity: “Um…strike one?”

[O'Kennedy staggers back. He turns. RINO launches himself at him and digs his shoulder into O'Kennedy's stomach.]

Fantastic: “SPEAR! SPEAR!”

[Both RINO and O'Kennedy down.]

*flute and clarinet flourish*

[Two men come out and unroll a white carpet to the ring steps. Dancers then dance. Ballet dancers…ballet? Little children walk up the white carpet and drop rose petals. Someone lets loose some pigeons…we’re still not sure just how they’ll get out of the building. PCW CEO Barack Obama appears. He sends 'Rahm-bo' Rahm Emanuel to the ring.]

Fantastic: “Here comes Rahm-bo…but NO!”

[Schilling blocks Emanuel. RINO crawls over O'Kennedy. Schilling levels Emanuel with a right hand. RINO covers. One...two...three.]

Crowd: “RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!”

Fantastic: “I don’t believe it! A stunning upset here in Boston! RINO has defeated Paddy O’Kennedy on his own turf!”

——————

RINO states that his win Tuesday night proves that PCW is looking for a different type of Republican. He credited the nation’s populist angst on vivid display for the win.

RINO: “It is time for a change — it is time for Main Street to have a champion.”

This brings out the American Heartland Coalition (American Trucker, Average Joe, SNAFU with Dawn McGill, ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido, and ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott). Scott tells RINO Main Street America already has their champions- the AHC.

Scott: “It’s interesting that the AHC now holds two of the three titles. That’s what I call change that matters.”

This, of course, brings out Tim Kaine, the leader of the Democrats. He acknowledged RINO’s win Tuesday night but promised to fight on to keep control of the PCW Executive committee- which will be decided at November’s PCW Extreme Election Night 2010.

Kaine: “We’re not exactly living in average times. There are some real challenges, and I think the continued volatility of the PCW Executive committee situation was shown and the lesson absorbed from what we saw.”

Suave: “So there you have it. PCW’s three big factions laying down their markers as we head toward PCW Extreme Election Night in November.”

——————

PCW RANKINGS

PCW WORLD CHAMPION: ‘Hollywood A-Lister’ Stone Chism (Progressive Alliance)

PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION: SNAFU (American Heartland Coalition)

PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido and ’American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (American Heartland Coalition)

SINGLES CONTENDERS:
#1- Kevin Scott (American Heartland Coalition)
#2- Khalid-El (Axis of Evil)
#3- Bird ‘The Mark’ Ridfych (Independent)
#4- Newt Tron Bomb (American Patriots)
#5- American Trucker (American Heartland Coalition)
#6- ‘The King of Old School Gimmicks’ Baron Von Munchke (Old School Kings)

TAG TEAM CONTENDERS:
#1- Big Oil and Big Electric (Public Utilities)
#2- A. Tom Bomb and Hy Drogen Bomb (American Patriots)
#3- Jack and Bull Schett (Ron Paul’s New Libertarian Army)
#4- The Goatbusters (Island of Misfit Wrestlers)
#5- Midnite Rockin’ Xpress- Bobby Ricky Michaels/Marty Gibson-Lane (Old School Kings)
#6- Raving Rednecks Locke and Loade (American Patriots)

—————–

World E-Wrestling Rankings

Top Ten Tag Teams
10. 11.2 Baseball Furies(The Slugger/Joey Bats)- PWFire *
8. 12.2 Team Danger(Stephen Greer/Tyrone Walker)- WfWA * Appalachian
8. 12.2 Damage Inc.(Dante/Jared Baker)- MWA *
7. 16.0 Hollywood Wrecking Crew- NFW
6. 17.2 ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido/’American Citizen’ Kevin Scott- PCW *
5. 18.0 The Entourage (Spike Saunders/Callie Urban)- FWO
4. 19.0 The Anthology(Jared Wells & Larry Tact)- EPW
3. 19.2 Heirs of Wrestling(Ryan Gallway & Frank Pierce)- ACW *
-Heirs of Wrestling sighting over at Empire Pro Wrestling
2. 20.0 Vox Nihili (Alias & Karina Wolfenden)- FWO
1. 26.2 Egg Bandits(Doozer/Cancer Jiles)- DWF *

——————–

Suave: “Let’s go to the ring…”

MATCH #1 – PCW Television Title Match
SNAFU (c) w/Dawn McGill (American Heartland Coalition) vs.’The King of Old School Gimmicks’ Baron Von Munchke (Independent)

[SNAFU, carrying his PCW TV Title belt, and Dawn McGill, carrying her High Octane Wrestling LSD Title belt that she won Thursday night, walk to the ring.]

Suave: “SNAFU has had major issues with the PCW Champion Stone Chism over Chism’s jealously of the fact that SNAFU is ranked higher than him in the world E-Wrestling rankings. Tonight, he meets the former Television champion who has major issues with just who his manager is.”

[Both Dr. Bill and Movie Classic arrive ringside. Both claim to be Von Munchke's manager.]

Suave: “Von Munchke doesn’t understand why Dr. Bill is ringside. And he can’t speak English.”

[Von Munchke points at Dr. Bill and then points at the exit.]

Dr. Bill: “I am so committed to delivering the information, the stimulation, getting people thinking, get them talking, getting them moving, get them into changing in their lives that I just get absorbed into that, and I forget that we’re on television. I think we pull the trigger on divorce in America way too quickly. I think if you’re going to get a divorce, you’ve got to earn your way out, and that means you’ve got to do all the work. You have to turn over every stone, investigate every avenue of rehabilitation you can before you quit.”

Movie Classic: “Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine. *laughes* My Mama always said, ‘Life was like a box of chocolates; you never know what you’re gonna get.’

Suave: “Well, while this highly enlightening grudge match of the intellectual giants continues, the referee is ready to call for the bell.”

[The bell sounds.]

Match Summary
SNAFU gets an armbar takedown that’s quickly countered by Von Munchke. SNAFU gets another counter into a top wristlock. Von Munchke gets a Fujiwara before SNAFU gets to the ropes. They exchange more basic holds and SNAFU bails to the floor. Back inside now, Von Munchke gets an arm drag. Von Munchke catches the Television Champion in the corner with boots and some chops. Then he adds some knees to the head. Chinlock now by Von Munchke. SNAFU gets to the ropes so Von Munchke just kicks him in the back instead. McGill hands SNAFU a chair and he bashes it over Von Munchke’s head. SNAFU throws Von Munchke to the floor. McGill whips him into the ring post. Meanwhile, Dr. Bill and Movie Classic, both claiming to be Von Munchke’s manager, continue to argue on the other side- oblivious to the double teaming going on. McGill drills Von Munchke in the back with a Singapore cane and then rolls him back in.

SNAFU gets some mounted punches and then rolls Von Munchke over and applies the Camel Clutch. Finally, Dr. Bill and Movie Classic realize that Von Munchke’s in trouble and try to help. Except that both try to climb over each other to get into the ring and fall off the ring apron. Von Munchke, on his own, manages to escape the hold. SNAFU kicks at Von Munchke’s legs. Von Munchke returns the favor. Rake to the eyes by SNAFU. Then the Camel Clutch again. SNAFU transitions to a body scissors. Von Munchke makes it to the ropes. McGill tosses SNAFU a chair. He sets it up…triple jump moonsault. SNAFU covers. 2 count. SNAFU sends Von Munchke for the ride into the ropes. Von Munchke ducks the clothesline and hits a reverse neckbreaker. Von Munchke covers. 2 count. Power slam by Von Munchke. Another cover…another 2 count. Von Munchke charges into a spin kick by SNAFU. SNAFU grabs the chair and goes for the Arabian Facebuster. Von Munchke rolls out of danger and out to the floor.

SNAFU slingshots off the ropes and flies over the top rope onto Von Munchke. McGill rolls Von Munchke back into the ring. Dr. Bill confronts McGill on the outside. McGill smiles. Dr. Bill takes a swing at her with his ‘bionic’ arm. McGill ducks and locks in the Testicular Claw. SNAFU back in the ring and puts Von Munchke in the Cobra stretch. Von Munchke gets to the ropes yet again. SNAFU gets the chair…Arabian Facebuster. Cover. One. Two…Three.

WINNER AND STILL PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION: SNAFU at 14:33

—————–

MISSOURI VALLEY WRESTLING

Jill-Berg and the MVW Tag Team Champions Angels of Death return from their suspension at MVWA 18 that takes place tomorrow night at the Knapp Center in Des Moines, IA on HOTv.

The card is:

Match #1
Katie Collins vs. ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas vs. Hallie Burton vs. Corrina Romanov in a four way dance.

Match #2
‘Scotland’s Favorite Daughter’ Carrieanne McDermott and American Pi vs. MVW Television Champion Brooke Evans and Reika

Match #3- Main Event for the MVW Tag Team Title
The Mercenaries: Dawn McGill (who just won High Octane Wrestling’s LSD Title Thurs. night) and ‘Sweet Southern Comfort’ Jackie Daniels
vs.
MVW Tag Team Champions Angels of Death: Angel Scott and Angel Casey

———————–

Dream Wrestling Federation
Live from The Slaughter House in Orlando, FL
Wednesday, January 27th, 2o1o

Slaughter Line Up
—————————–

SLAUGHTER TELEVISION TITLE TOURNAMENT CONTINUES!
The winner will be named the Slaughter Television Champion.

Castor Strong vs. The Masked Dollar vs. Xander Daniels

Muru vs. Jimmy Riley
Slaughter Television Championship Round 3

Charlie Blackwell vs. Bishop Steele
Slaughter Television Championship Round 3

eGG Bandits vs. Grady Bunch
DWF Tag Team Championship Match

————————-

MATCH #2
‘Iran’s Weapon of Mass Destruction’ Khalid-El w/Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (Axis of Evil) vs. ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott w/”Not Just Intolerable…Not Just Unbearable…He is…Justin Sufferable (American Heartland Coalition)

[Ahmadinejad is mercilessly booed by the crowd and a huge USA chant starts up.]

Suave: “Khalid-El just looks…HUGE…compared to Kevin Scott. And Scott ain’t small.”

The Tale of the Tape:

American Citizen’ Kevin Scott
HT: 6′ 3″ WT: 245

‘Iran’s Weapon of Mass Destruction’ Khalid-El
HT: 6′ 7″ WT: 335

Match Summary
Khalid-El stuns Scott at the beginning with a Roaring Elbow. Cover. One…two…Scott just kicks out. Series of forearms drives Scott into the corner. Scott desperately tries to fight back. Series of kicks and an Enziguiri. Khalid-El shakes his head to indicate that the blows had no damage and then hits a Backdrop Driver. Khalid-El picks Scott up by the throat; Scott kicks him in the balls. Scott tries a put a sleeper hold on. Khalid-El backs him into the corner and crunches him in the turnbuckle. Justin Sufferable up on the apron. *THWACK* He drills Khalid-El between the eyes with a Singapore cane. Blood starts to stream from the big guy’s forehead.

Angrily, Khalid El lifts Scott up by the throat and pitches him into the turnbuckle. He leans over the ropes and dares Sufferable to take another shot at him. Fernando Venezuela races down and knocks the Singapore cane away. He hits the Scorpion Death Drop on Sufferable and lays him out. Khalid-El drags Scott up to the top rope. He nails the Super-plex and Scott bounces a foot up in the air before settling on the canvas. Cover. One…two…save made by the American Trucker. The American Heartland Coalition (American Trucker, Average Joe, SNAFU, and ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido) charge the ring. Average Joe and SNAFU hit double team tandem chair shots on Khalid-El and send him to the canvas. Escondido climbs the turnbuckle. Shooting Star Press…Khalid-El gets the knees up.

Venezuela and Byung Hyung Kang wade into the muck. Average Joe- over the top rope by Venezuela and Kang. American Trucker- over the top rope by Venezuela. Kang ducks a chairshot attempt by SNAFU. Martial arts kicks to the stomach. Venezuela deposits SNAFU over the top rope. Khalid-El slaps a Sleeper Hold on Scott. Escondido tries to roll over to help. Venezuela slides from the ring and pulls him out of the ring by his feet. The referee holds up Scott’s arm; it flops back to the canvas. He repeats; Scott’s arm falls to the canvas. One last time…same result. The ref calls for the bell.

WINNER: Khalid-El at 12:52

——————

High Octane Wrestling

HOFC

The Kallisten Coliseum
January 25, 2010 12:00 AM

Chris Kostoff v Chris Jacobs
The referee for this match is Rick “Even” Stevens, and the rules are HOFC Bout.

DavoteK v Shocker
The referee for this match is Rick “Even” Stevens, and the rules are HOFC Bout.

The referee for this match is Rick “Even” Stevens, and the rules are HOFC Bout.

Darin Zion v Ethan Cavanaugh
The referee for this match is Rick “Even” Stevens, and the rules are HOFC Bout.

The referee for this match is Rick “Even” Stevens, and the rules are HOFC Bout.

——————

Upcoming PCW Events:

Sunday January 24th @ Danbury, Connecticut- O’Neill Center
Monday January 25th @ New Bedford, Massachusetts- Champions Sports Center
Saturday January 30th @ New York City, New York- Hammerstein Theater
Sunday January 31st @ Lancaster, Pennsylvania- Red Rose Indoor Arena
Monday February 1st @ Washington, D.C.- Bender Arena
Saturday February 6th @ Roanoke, Virginia- Roanoke Civic Center
Sunday February 7th @ Beckley, VWA- Raleigh County Convention Center
Monday February 8th @ Portsmouth, OH- Elks City Lodge

——————

MATCH #3
Jack Schett and Bull Schett w/Horst Schett and Hans Gruber- the Extreme German Schauzer (Ron Paul’s New Libertarian Army) vs. Big Oil and Big Electric (Public Utilities)

Wake up! Wake up!
Good morning America!
Rise and Shine.

Ron Paul! Save our constitutional rights
Ron Paul! We’re not gonna give up the fight
Ron Paul! Start a revolution
and break down illegal institutions

[Jack Schett and Bull Schett come to the ring as Kimber Marshall does the introductions.]

Kimber: “On the way to the ring at this time, accompanied by Horst Schett and Hans Gruber- the Extreme German Schauzer, Jack and Bull Schett! Their opponents…”

*Eddy Grant’s ‘Electric Avenue’ begins to play*

Kimber: “From Houston, TX, accompanied by Texas Tex, he is Big Oil. And from New York City, NY, Big Electric. They are…PUBLIC UTILITIES!”

Now in the street there is violence
And – and a lots of work to be done
No place to hang out our washing
And – and I can’t blame all on the sun
Oh, no…

We gonna rock down to- Electric Avenue
And then we’ll take it higher
Oh, we’re gonna rock down to- Electric Avenue
And then we’ll take it higher

Suave: “This is a big elimination match in the tag team division. Both Jack and Bull Schett and Big Oil and Big Electric are looking for another crack at the PCW Tag Team Champions. The winner moves on. The loser falls back.”

Match Summary
Big Oil and Jack Schett to start. Big Oil charges right after Jack who ducks into the ropes. Big Oil corners Jack. Jack attacks with punches. Big Oil grabs him and throws him back into the corner. Jack slides through the ropes and takes a time out. Jack comes back in and immediately eats an elbow. Big Oil whips Jack into the corner and follows with a clothesline. He tags in Big Electric and they double-team shoulder block Jack. Big Electric goes for an elbow and misses. Jack gets to his corner and tags Bull in. Bull attacks with multiple knees and several elbows to the head. Bull whips Big Electric to the corner and follows with a lariat. Bull again charges. Big Electric ducks away and Bull hits the corner turnbuckle. Big Oil is tagged back in and he immediately power slams Bull to the mat. Cover. Two count.

Bull reverses when Big Oil goes for another whip to the ropes. Big boot by Bull stuns Big Oil. Bull tags Jack back in. Jack goes top rope and drops the elbow on the top of Big Oil’s head. Cover. Two count. Big Electric whips Bull through the ropes. Texas Tex whips Bull a couple times with his Golden Money Belt before Horst Schett and the Extreme German Schnauzer come over. Jack tries to take advantage of Big Oil in the corner. Big Electric hops into the ring and hits an Electric Chair Facebuster on Jack. Bull begins to climb into the ring. Big Oil whips Jack into the ropes and he collides with Bull. Bull goes flying off the ring apron. Jack staggers right back into an Oklahoma Driller by Big Oil. Cover. One…two…three.

WINNER: Public Utilities at 10:03

Suave: “Huge win for Public Utilities! Now, all they have to do is get through the winner of next week’s Goatbusters vs. A-Bomb and H-Bomb match to get a tag team title shot. That’ll do it for this week, I’m Johnny Suave. See you next week.”

——————–

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LD CHAMPION: ‘Hollywood A-Lister’ Stone Chism (Progressive Alliance)

PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION: SNAFU (American Heartland Coalition)

PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido and ’American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (American Heartland Coalition)

Filed under: Average Joe, Barack Obama, Independents, Joe the Plumber, John McCain, Paul Heyman, Politics, Pro Wrestling, Small Town America, Third Party, democrats, joe six pack, political satire, political wrestling, red state, republicans, wordpress political blogs | Leave a Comment »

Tonight on PCW Extreme Political TV on P-SPAN

Posted on January 23, 2010 by Political Championship Wrestling

Coming up this weekend on PCW Extreme Political TV:

More fallout from the Scott Brown/Martha Coakley match last night in Boston.

[O'Kennedy shoves Schilling. Schilling rears back and nails him with a stiff right hand.]

Chastity: “Um…strike one?”

[O'Kennedy staggers back. He turns. RINO launches himself at him and digs his shoulder into O'Kennedy's stomach.]

Fantastic: “SPEAR! SPEAR!”

[Both RINO and O'Kennedy down.]

*flute and clarinet flourish*

[Two men come out and unroll a white carpet to the ring steps. Dancers then dance. Ballet dancers…ballet? Little children walk up the white carpet and drop rose petals. Someone lets loose some pigeons…we’re still not sure just how they’ll get out of the building. PCW CEO Barack Obama appears. He sends 'Rahm-bo' Rahm Emanuel to the ring.]

Fantastic: “Here comes Rahm-bo…but NO!”

[Schilling blocks Emanuel. RINO crawls over O'Kennedy. Schilling levels Emanuel with a right hand. RINO covers. One...two...three.]

Crowd: “RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!”

Fantastic: “I don’t believe it! A stunning upset here in Boston! RINO has defeated Paddy O’Kennedy on his own turf!”

After another bad night by the ‘One-Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism, the PCW Champion must have a lot on his mind. We’ll find out this Saturday just what he’s thinking after this…

Suave: “Escondido now down at ringside. Chism stomps away at Scott in the corner. He pulls him up and sends him for the ride. SLEEPER HOLD! CHISM HAS HIM IN THE SLEEPER-”

Crowd: “RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”

[Escondido climbs into the ring with a chair. He waffles Chism in the back with it.]

Suave: “HOLY CRAP! Escondido just blasted the PCW Champion with a chair!”

Crowd: “PCW!…PCW!…PCW!”

[Chism's valets- The Skanky Rich Bimbos (Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan) hop into the ring and confront Escondido. They whip off their tops.]

Crowd: “RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”

Suave: “WARDROBE MALFUNCTION! WARDROBE MALFUNCTION! God, I love that move…WARDROBE MALFUNCTION!”

[The PCW Television Champion SNAFU and his manager 'Demolition Machine in a Short Skirt' Dawn McGill, with Singapore cane, shoot out from the back and jump into the ring.]

Crowd: “RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”

Suave: “SNAFU! IT’S SNAFU! WITH DAWN McGILL!”

[McGill takes the Singapore cane and cracks it across Lohan's bare back.]

Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”

[SNAFU drapes Hilton around the neck and delivers a reverse neckbreaker. Chism turns and heads towards him.]

Suave: “SNAFU and McGill clear out the SRB. CHISM DOESN’T SEE SCOTT! SCHOOLBOY ROLL UP! ONE…TWO…THREE!”

Crowd: “RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH

On tonight’s card:

SNAFU defends his PCW Television title with Dawn McGill in his corner (American Heartland Coalition) against former champion Baron Von Munchke. The $64,000 question with Baron Von Munchke will be this: who will be in his corner? Dr. Bill? Or Movie Classic?

Iran’s Weapon of Mass Destruction Khalid-El of the Axis of Evil will face ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (American Heartland Coalition)

Jack Schett and Bull Schett (Ron Paul’s New Libertarian Army) vs. Big Oil and Big Electric (Public Utilities)

Filed under: 2010 Election, Average Joe, Barack Obama, Independents, Joe the Plumber, John McCain, Paul Heyman, Politics, Pro Wrestling, Small Town America, Third Party, democrats, joe six pack, political satire, political wrestling, red state, republicans | Leave a Comment »

1/22-PCW/MVW Friday Night Wrestling on HOTv

Posted on January 23, 2010 by Political Championship Wrestling

PCW/MVW Friday Night Wrestling on HOTv
Friday January 22nd
Hosts: Rick Fantastic and Chastity Gold

Fantastic and Gold welcome everyone to the show. They run down tonight’s card…

Match #2 (MVW)
Hallie Burton
vs.
Amy Mason

Match #3 (PCW)
Colonel DeBauchery (D.W.I.)
vs.
‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee (Green World Order)

Match #4 (MVW)
‘Sweet Southern Comfort’ Jackie Daniels
vs.
Christa Carmondy

Match #5 (PCW-Main Event)
The Goatbusters- Ray Scantz and Peter Jenkman
vs.
The Midnite Rockin’ Express- Bobby Ricky Michaels and Marty Gibson-Lane w/Dr. Bill (Old School Kings)

Fantastic explains that the first match was originally going to be PCW’s Hunter the Hunter vs. Jobber the Hutt. But because PCW and MVW personality Dawn McGill defeated Tim Shipley last night for High Octane Wrestling’s LSD Title, tonight’s first match will be the McGill-Shipley title match.

Dawn McGill vs. Tim Shipley (c)- HOW LSD Title Match
(courtesy of High Octane Wrestling)
As the video ends the crowd inside the Coliseum cheer loudly as it is time for the LSD Championship match to begin.

Sabotage by the Beastie Boys hits the PA system and the crowd shows some respect for the former Army Ranger.

Bryan McVay: Making her way to the ring…standing 6’2” and weighing in at 173 pounds…hailing from Morenci Michigan……DAAAAAAAAWN MCGIIIIILLLLLLL!!!!

Dawn continues down the ramp and enters the ring and even smiles at all the fans cheering for her.

Joe Hoffman: Well it’s obvious that this girl who has yet to win a match here in HOW is starting to win over the fans with her tenacity and never say die attitude.

Benny Newell: Yawn…only reason I am not sleeping is because she has tits and a vagina that has to be filled with sand…and I got the shovel baby…

Joe …again…can only shake his head as McVay introduces the champion…

MK Ultra by Muse hits the arenas sound system and the LSD Champion makes his way out from the back with Roxie by his side.

Bryan McVay: Introducing now the current LSD Champion…he stands 5’11” and weighs in at 228 pounds….hailing from Milton Keynes, England….accompanied by the lovely Roxie Sykes…..YOUR LSD CHAMPION…..TIIIIIIIIM SHIIIIIPLEEEEEEYYYYY!!!!

Roxie leads the Champion down the ramp and watches as he climbs into the ring and slowly hands the LSD Championship belt to referee Joel Hortega who proceeds to hold it high in the air to all the fans in the arena and those watching live on HOTv…..the whole time with Shipley staring down McGill.

Benny Newell: Anyone else think it’s fucked up that McGill is taller than Shipley? I mean that dude is Tom Cruise short and Cavanaugh’s dick might be bigger than our LSD Champion….I never realized how short he was until he was next to McGill….like holy fuck batman…

Joe Hoffman: YOU DONE??? Shipley outweighs her by a lot and let’s face it…..size don’t matter..

Benny Newell: Says the little man…

Joe tries to ignore Benny as Hortega signals for the bell and we are officially underway…

Shipley and McGill begin circling each other as the crowd remains on their feet as the match definitely has a big match feel to it.

Joe Hoffman: You know seeing these two in the ring just reminded me…where is Mark O’Neal? Where is Griffin Faze?

Benny Newell: I cannot believe I am about to say this…but can we focus on the shit in the ring please?

Joe is flustered at being put in his place by Benny..

Benny Newell: Act like a fucking Hall of Famer will ya…

Back in the ring the two HOW superstars lock up and Shipley easily takes the early advantage as he muscles McGill to the ropes and instead of whipping her off the ropes he drives a knee into the gut of Dawn which sends her to her knees gasping for air.

Shipley smiles down at Roxie who seems a lot more focused than Shipley and this is apparent as McGill catches him off guard by pulling on his waist and thru the middle rope and down to the cold floor of the arena.

Shipley quickly bounces up but is met with a flying elbow from McGill and for the next several minutes Dawn uses the whole ringside environment, while keeping on eye on Roxie, to her advantage and rolls into the ring several times to break up the Diez count by Hortega.

Joe Hoffman: McGill with the early advantage here and boy has she been taking it to the champion early…

Finally McGill rolls Shipley back into the ring as it was getting pretty close to Roxie attacking Dawn……

Back in the ring the champion struggles to his feet and just as he does he is met with a running dropkick right to his injured knee and Roxie’s screams or horror can be heard throughout the arena as Shipley goes down hard clutching his knee.

Joe Hoffman: Again the Champions knee is failing him…he needs time off and he needs it as of three weeks ago…

For the next several minutes Dawn works over the knee of Shipley and each time she is about to lock in a submission type move on his leg, Roxie jumps up on the apron and breaks up the hold as Hortega is forced to give Roxie his undivided attention….so much so that finally Hortega has had enough from Roxie and bans her from ringside…

Joe Hoffman: Hortega just banned Roxie from the match!!! She has to go to the back now!!

Benny Newell: Good…the bitch can’t throw in the towel for the gimp then..
The crowd cheers loudly as Roxie is going apeshit as several HOW security members walk her to the back.

Inside the ring Shipley finally sees Roxie being escorted to the back and he starts to exit the ring as well but is grabbed from behind by McGill who rolls him up for a cover….

UNO….

DOS….

KICKOUT!!

McGill quickly jumps up to her feet and hustles up the top rope and goes to jump off but Shipley slides out of the ring and as McGill hops down to the canvas her right knee buckles and she goes down in a heap.

Joe Hoffman: Oh god….Dawn is down…and she is hurt…..

Benny Newell: Great….the handicap parking in the parking lot is already filled….damn now I gotta race a bunch of gimps to get a good spot? Fuck me running…

Shipley sees McGill go down and watches as Roxie is forced fully to the back and tries to shake the pain out in his own knee before sliding back into the ring where Dawn is trying to get to her feet via the ropes.

Just as she gets to her feet however Shipley drops to a knee and drives his shoulder into the back of Dawn’s right knee and she goes down screaming in pain.

Shipley taps his forehead as he stands up and places Dawns leg on the bottom rope and then proceeds to put the boots to it….over…and over..and over again.

Joe Hoffman: We seen this a lot lately from the HOW wrestlers…they are definitely more focused on the physical injuries instead of all the mental games we are used to..

Benny Newell: About fucking time….

Now it is Shipley who works on the injured knee of a wrestler as he executes several grapevines, submissions and just pure brute force on Dawn’s knee….the destruction of her leg and her screams of pain…have the crowd literally calling for Shipley to finish the match……

And he does.

Shipley pulls Dawn towards the center of the ring and signals for his reverse figure four leg lock….Newton’s Paradox..

Joe Hoffman: Smart move here folks…..work the leg…use a leg submission….

Shipley bends down to begin to lock the move in but as he does McGill reaches up and grabs Shipley’s groin in a nasty Testicular Claw….which sends Shipley immediately on the defensive as McGill slowly makes her way up to her feet with Shipley’s balls in her hand….

Benny Newell: Tell me when it’s over!!!!

McGill sweeps the legs out from Shipley and he falls to the mat and McGill wastes no time in locking in a perfect figure four leg lock in the middle of the ring…

Shipley pounds the mat in pain and frustration but he doesn’t give up.

Hortega even counts several near falls when Shipley’s shoulders are on the mat but each time he gets up. He finally gets enough energy to try and roll the move over and they get halfway there but Shipley cannot take anymore and they roll back into the previous position and now it is McGill who is pounding the canvas as she tries to apply as much pressure as possibly…

Shipley falls back to the canvas in pain and Hortega starts another count….

UNO…..

DOS……

TRES!!!!!!

Joe Hoffman: SHE DID IT…SHE DID IT…SHE DID IT!!!!!

The Kallisten Coliseum goes crazy as McGill is in a state of shock as HOW medics rush down the ramp and slide into the ring as a now passed out Shipley is not moving, having passed out from the pain.

Hortega grabs the LSD Championship and puts it around the waist of McGill as McVay makes the official announcement…

Bryan McVay: WINNER OF THE MATCH IN 18 MINUTES AND 24 SECONDS…AND NEEEEEEEW LSD CHAMPION……DAAAAAWWWWWWN MCCCCCCGIIIILLLLLLLLLL!!!!

McGill falls against the ropes as the crowd cheers madly for the new champion as Benny and Joe don’t say a word during this great moment.

WINNER AND NEW LSD CHAMPION: Dawn McGill at 18:24

—————

Match #2 (MVW)
Hallie Burton vs. Amy Mason

Chastity notes that Hallie was a former PCW Women’s Champion back when they had a women’s division. Hallie is trying to pull herself back up into the title scene after a lackluster first six months in MVW.

Hallie wastes no time taking the action to Mason. She hits a series of backhand slaps and bites her. Mason escapes with a knee to the gut and hits an elbow in the corner, whips Hallie cross-corner but runs into a clothesline. Mason hits another clothesline, a pair of suplexes and a neckbreaker. Hallie tries to go for the Defense Rests early. Action goes outside where Hallie continues to take control, and smothers her with a fans hat. Back inside and Hallie goes to work on Mason’s arm and hits a flatliner. Hallie goes to the Naomichi Marufuji playbook with a dragon screw in the ropes. She ties up the legs in the ropes. Hallie gets a chinbreaker to dragon screw. Mason reverses and puts her in a Half Bombay Crab. Hallie gets the ropes and Mason starts to play to the fans. Amy tries a backdrop suplex but Hallie flips behind her, and hurts her leg! She fights off with headbutts and tries to counter a shinbreaker with a sunset flip but can’t get it on right. Amy counters the Asai DDT to a fisherman faceplant and goes back to the Cobra Stretch.

Mason escapes the hold with elbows and plays possum to make Hallie try for Shadows Over Hell, and then shoves her to the floor flat on his back. Wow, a logical reason for somebody to switch from legwork to backwork? Say it ain’t so. Hallie powers Amy into the ring apron and then starts driving her knee into the back. Hallie hits a big headbutt and charges into the corner but Mason works in the Tarantula, which is both cool and logical. She starts choking Hallie. Burton shoves her off and she takes a man-sized bump into the rail. Mason hits a Jig ‘N’ Tonic on Hallie. She sets her up top but Hallie fights her way off the ropes. Kneeling muscle buster by Hallie. COBRA CLUTCH SUPLEX! Cobra Clutch in a Camel Clutch position by Hallie and Mason taps out.

WINNER: Hallie Burton in 17:12

MATCH #3 (PCW)
Colonel DeBauchery (D.W.I.) vs. ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee (Green World Order)

Col. DeBauchery goes European with a glove slap. Brock Cole Lee’s honor impugned, Peta from PETA produces a glove and gives it to Lee who slaps Col. DeBauchery. DeBauchery counters the froggy crossbody to a Samoan Drop. They take it to the floor where Lee moonsaults off the corner onto DeBauchery. A second attempt at the crossbody frogsplash gets two. DeBauchery counters something to the UFO (Unidentified Flying Opponent, aka no-hands airplane spin). The Jagerbomb is countered to a small package! ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! The pop-up uppercut puts Lee down, though. Lee hits the Hadouken to set up the reverse rana. DeBauchery blocks Croyt’s Wrath, though, and goes low with a mule kick. Oooh, right in the jubblies. That sets up a wicked uppercut for the win at 9:37.

WINNER: Colonel DeBauchery at 9:37

MATCH #4 (MVW)
‘Sweet Southern Comfort’ Jackie Daniels vs. Christa Carmondy
We start with a shoving match and Christa slaps Daniels, Daniels shoves her and then hits a dropkick. Daniels hits a stiff shot in the corner and whips Christa, Christa throws Daniels around and hits a suplex for two. Christa applies a surfboard stretch, Daniels gets to her feet, and Christa pulls her back down by her hair. A kneedrop gets two for Christa and she whips Daniels, who stays in the ropes to avoid a big boot, and then we get double big boots. Daniels hits some forearms and Christa grabs her by the throat, but Daniels stops that with a double axehandle to the ropes. She hits some elbows and a roaring elbow, and an atomic drop. Daniels hits a modified exploder suplex for two. She hits the Barbie Crusher. Christa misses a kick to the head. Daniels responds with a big roundhouse kick to the head, and finishes with the Daniels’s Splash.

WINNER: Jackie Daniels in 6:15

MATCH #5 (PCW Main Event)
The Goatbusters (Island of Misfit Wrestlers) vs. The Midnite Rockin’ Express (Old School Kings)

*Spooky music begins followed by a funky beat*

If there’s something grazing
In your neighborhood
Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)
If you see a herd
And it don’t look good
Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)

I ain’t afraid of no Goat
I ain’t afraid of no Goat

If you’re seeing horns
Running through your yard
Who can you call
(Goatbusters)
If you have a goat
Sleeping in your bed
Oh, who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)

I ain’t afraid of no Goat
I ain’t afraid of no Goat

Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)
If you’re all alone
Pick up the phone
And call
(Goatbusters)

I ain’t afraid of no Goat
I hear it likes the girls
I ain’t afraid of no Goat
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)
If you’ve had a dose
Of a freaky Goat
Maybe you’d better call
(Goatbusters)

Let me tell you something
Bustin’ makes me feel good

I ain’t afraid of no Goat
I ain’t afraid of no Goat

Don’t get caught alone, oh no
(Goatbusters)
When it comes through your door
Unless you just want some more
I think you better call
(Goatbusters)
Ow

Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)
Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)
Ah, I think you better call
(Goatbusters)…

The Goatbusters, Peter Jenkman and Ray Scantz climb into the ring along with their manager, Argon.

The Midnite Rockin’ Express offers handshakes to the Goatbusters, who offer hard forearms. Scantz hits Michaels with a back elbow, and Jenkman hits an Owen-style belly-to-belly suplex on Gibson-Lane, sending him to the floor. They whip Michaels and try the double football tackle, but Gibson-Lane pulls Michaels to the floor and they converse. Michaels looks to get in the ring with Scantz, but Gibson-Lane sneaks up from behind. He gets in a couple forearms before Scantz whips him to the corner, hits a corner clothesline, snap mares him and hits a sliding boot for two. Moral of the story: play fair. Scantz hits a pair of chops and tags in Jenkman, who punches away at Gibson-Lane and stomps a mudhole. He hits a back suplex for two as the fans chant “Fuck ‘em up Goatbusters”, and the Goatbusters oblige with a double team CURB STOMP! Scantz is legal now but Gibson-Lane hits a knee and tags out to Michaels, who rushes in and…gets hip tossed by Scantz.

Scantz follows with a double stomp, and hits a scoop slam and legdrop for two. Scantz hits a chop and tags out, Jenkman runs to the opposite corner knocks off Gibson-Lane. Scantz whips Michaels into an elbow by Jenkman, then hits a Russian Legsweep and Jenkman hits a second rope senton. Hey, a new combination! Jenkman gets two and Gibson-Lane comes in to flex his muscles. The Goatbusters duck a double clothesline attempt and chop Gibson-Lane into the corner, and then biel him OUT of the corner.

Jenkman hits a flat palm chop and a vertical suplex for two on Michaels. He puts him in a headscissors, and Michaels gets the ropes. Michaels reverses a whip but Jenkman gets a sunset flip, and Michaels tags out before Jenkman rolls him into a cover. Gibson-Lane stomps on Jenkman’s head and knocks Scantz off the apron. Michaels catapults Jenkman into a forearm by Gibson-Lane, and Gibson-Lane slams him on Michaels’s knees. Gibson-Lane and Jenkman trade shots and Gibson-Lane hits a knee lift before tagging out. Gibson-Lane hits an inverted atomic drop, gyrates and then ducks so Michaels can hit a clothesline. Michaels covers for two and then pummels Jenkman. Michaels whips Jenkman and hits a spinning leg lariat. Michaels tags out and holds Jenkman so Gibson-Lane can hit a stomp out of the corner.

Jenkman and Gibson-Lane trade shots and Gibson-Lane backs him into the corner. He goes for the gyration suplex but Jenkman lands on his feet and gets a nearfall off of a schoolboy. Gibson-Lane tries a back suplex but Jenkman lands on his feet, but this time Gibson-Lane rolls away from the schoolboy. Jenkman tries to tag but Gibson-Lane knocks Scantz off the apron. Jenkman hits a flurry of forearms but Gibson-Lane hits a dropkick for two. Gibson-Lane rips off his bowtie and throws it at Jenkman and then pummels him. He smashes him into his team’s turnbuckle and tags out to Michaels. Gibson-Lane slams Jenkman and Michaels hits a springboard legdrop off the bottom rope for two. I mention the bottom rope because Michaels jumped higher than the second rope before landing. It’s impressive.

Michaels runs into a pair of boots in the corner, and Jenkman maneuvers around into a release northern lights suplex. He looks to make a tag but this time Gibson-Lane pulls Scantz down from the floor. Jenkman goes to the corner to wait for Scantz, but that opens him up for Michaels’s double knee attack! He gets two and then applies a chinlock. Jenkman escapes with elbows, and then counters a clothesline with a diamond cutter. Glad to see he incorporated that into his moveset, since he’s been doing the springboard cutter since day one. Jenkman makes the hot tag and Scantz hits Michaels with a trio of clotheslines and a dropkick. Scantz lays in some shots and goes for the Death Valley Driver, but Michaels avoids that. He runs into a Ron Simmons-like spinebuster though. Now, I know we’re supposed to prefer the Double A version, but I’ve always thought that Faarooq’s looked more vicious. Gibson-Lane makes the save but Jenkman come in and hits an enzugiri.

Scantz whips Michaels into the corner and the Goatbusters hit the facewash/dropkick combo, and Scantz gets two. Michaels hits a jawbreaker and tags out, Gibson-Lane tries a forearm war and loses, so he goes to the eyes. Gibson-Lane whips Scantz to the corner but runs into an elbow, Scantz sets up for the reverse blockbuster but Michaels holds him in place, Gibson-Lane jumps up and hits an X-Factor off the top rope. TREMENDOUS! It only gets two, so Gibson-Lane tags out and goes for the springboard blockbuster. Scantz ranas out of it, but Michaels catches a kick and hits the capoiera kick and a fireman’s carry into a uranage for two. Jenkman had to make the save on that. Michaels chokes Scantz, but Scantz reverses a corner whip, Michaels leaps over him but Scantz hits the reverse STO into the turnbuckle. Jenkman tags in and tries the side exploder suplex, Michaels avoids it, so Jenkman looks to go for a DRAGON suplex, but Michaels blocks that two, so Jenkman settles for the fisherman buster, which Gibson-Lane makes the save on. Okay, that almost made up for the teased dragon suplex, but not quite.

Scantz goes after Gibson-Lane and the Goatbusters want the football tackle but Gibson-Lane hits a kick on one and a club to the back to the other one. BUT he hits the ropes and the Goatbusters hit it anyway. They try to biel Kenny, but Michaels LANDS ON HIS FEET! Michaels ducks a double clothesline but eats a double superkick, and the Goatbusters finish with Crossing the Streams.

WINNER: The Goatbusters at 24:42

Photo from RINO/Scott Brown’s Win Tuesday Night

Posted on January 21, 2010 by Political Championship Wrestling

RINO (Republican In Name Only) and Scott Brown

Filed under: 2010 Election, Average Joe, Blogs- Pro Wrestling, Independents, Joe the Plumber, Paul Heyman, Pro Wrestling, Small Town America, Third Party, democrats, joe six pack, political satire, political wrestling, red state | Tagged: Scott Brown | Leave a Comment »

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