Tuesday’s PCW Tussle in Tallahassee (FL) Preview

And then there was two…actually four but the media has zeroed in on Gingrich v. Romney.

K-Roy, representing Newt Gingrich, was viciously assaulted Thursday night on PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN by the Republican Establishment while PCW CEO Barack Obama (D) and his supporters watched.

Can K-Roy turn it around Tuesday night? Is the stage set for a breakthrough by Mitt Romney and his wrestler- ‘American Citizen‘ Kevin Scott? Tune in Tuesday night as PCW presents ‘Tussle in Tallahassee.’

The Republican Race Heats Up: PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN

PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN Report
Viking Hall
Bristol, TN
Thursday January 26th, 2012
Host: Johnny Suave

Suave begins but is interrupted by a commotion in the back.

Suave: “Hold on a second.  I’ve been told to send it to PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein.  Woodward?”

Bernstein is in the back.  In the background, Arizona Governor Jan Brewer (R) is in the middle of an intense conversation with PCW CEO Barack Obama (D-IL).

Bernstein: “This has been brewing for quite a while.  Brewer and Obama don’t see eye to eye about much of anything.   Ah, here comes Brewer.”

Brewer says that Obama’s upset about what she said about him in her book- Scorpions for Breakfast.   “It is what it is. I proceeded to say that to him, and he chose to walk away from me.”    Brewer adds that in life, we all have our bad days.  Sometimes we say and do things we could all take back.  Tonight, is not one of those days.  She will not be intimidated.

Obama is now in the ring and says he can’t hear a word Brewer is saying, perhaps she should come into the ring.  Brewer retorts that he doesn’t work for Obama.  Obama responds that he is the PCW CEO and she will listen to what he has to say.   Obama says she’s being disrespectful to the office of PCW CEO.

The crowd then roars when Charlie Blackwell of the American Heartland Coalition comes out.

Blackwell: “And you, Mr. PCW CEO, are being disrespectful to the people of Arizona…and other states by siccing your minions on them.”

Obama tells Blackwell he just made a huge mistake and that he can either apologize to him or face Democrat Yamamoto Tanaka- The Japanese SuperDestroyer in a Falls Count Anywhere match right now.  Blackwell: “Bring it on!”

MATCH #1
Charlie Blackwell (American Heartland) vs. ‘The Japanese SuperDestroyer’ Yamamoto Tanaka (D) w/Reika

Charlie Blackwell (American Heartland Coalition) 
HT: 6′ 4″  WT: 215 HOME: New Braunfels, TX
FIN: Tazzmission (Katahajime)
MGR: Kenzie Blackwell

Yamamoto Tanaka (D)
HT: 6′ 9″ WT: 350, HOME: Nagano, Japan
FIN: Japanese Super Destroyer
MGR: Mrs. Miyagi

[...Tanaka lifts Blackwell and delivers a back breaker.  Blackwell goes to the floor.]

Suave: “Hold on a second!  What’s John McCain doing down there?”

[McCain (R-AZ), accompanied by Jan Brewer,  sneaks up behind Tanaka with a blackjack.  *WHAP* Tanaka falls head first on the floor.  Reika is pissed off and runs over to check on her wrestler.  Brewer pulls her away just as Blackwell hits a frog splash on Tanaka and then a corkscrew legdrop.]

Suave: “HOLY CRAP!   McCain interferes in the match?  Why?”

McCain comes over to the broadcast table and grabs a microphone and justifies his interference because PCW CEO Obama can be ‘abrasive.’  When asked for further clarification…

McCain: “Bobby Jindal, the governor of Louisiana, had a similar exchange with the president.  It’s very well-known that he has a prickly personality and I think it’s been displayed in both of those cases. And I also think that Jan Brewer is very concerned about the security on our border.”

[Blackwell takes Tanaka into the ring. Blackwell runs in and leg drops Tanaka.  Blackwell follows with a handspring moonsault.  Blackwell then hits a screwdriver on Tanaka and slaps on the Katahajime.  Tanaka has no choice but to tap out. ]

WINNER: Charlie Blackwell @ 8:41

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Brewer’s Book Soars Up Bestseller List

After Obama face-off, Brewer’s book takes off

McCain backs Brewer in tarmac tiff, calls Obama ‘prickly’

Tanaka is furious and storms into PCW Executive Committee Chief Harry Reid‘s (D-NV) office.  Reid is meeting with Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) and seems surprised to see the huge Japanese wrestler standing before him.  Reika walks in and demands to know where the back up was and how in the hell John ‘freakin’ McCain was able to get a cheap shot on him?

Reid tries to calm the big guy down but Reika isn’t having any of it.  Tanaka was promised a lot of things to come back to the Democrats and he’s been screwed out of a title shot.  Reid responds that Tanaka had a shot for the title and blew it when he couldn’t get past O’Beck Bahama (D) and ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D).   Reid then tells him that he’s got bigger things to worry about- like the new alliance between the PCW Champion Daniel-San (R) and John Creese and his Cobra Cons.

Reid: “If you want to be useful, help Chism win the PCW title!”

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Video Shows Senator Calm as He’s Detained

Rand Paul: “Just think what I would have done if I really really, really irate?”

Suave: “Make more phone calls?”

MATCH #2- Hostages on a Pole Match
Navy Seals 1 and 2 vs. Pirate Captain Jack Suarez and Pirate First Mate Jay

[The two Pirates are in the ring but the Navy Seals are no where to be found.  The bell rings and Navy Seal #1 slides in from underneath the ring.  Bulldog.  Sit down facebuster.  Pirate Jay tries to help but he's cut down by Navy Seal #2.  Navy Seal #1 rolls up Captain Jack...1...2...3.]

WINNER: The Navy Seals @ 1:15

The Seals cut down the hostages and leave the ring.

Steve Hunter’s Three Sentence Political Commentary- because three sentences is all you need to get your point across.

TOPIC: Governor Jan Brewer of Arizona v. President Obama- Dust Up in Arizona

1. Perhaps if the President of the United States would stop using the Justice Department as a hammer against the states, there might not be this outwardly antagonistic atmosphere that permeates Brewer and Obama’s working relationship.

2. Unfortunately, said relationship causes the real issue to be clouded and when there is a definitive security problem on the Mexican border it’s a crime that goes back to the Bush Administration that the federal government has not taken constructive action to secure the border.

3.  Perhaps if the President were more concerned about that instead of how he’s perceived in someone’s book, the people of Arizona, and Texas, New Mexico, and California, might feel a little bit better about the issue of unfettered illegal immigrants streaming into the country.

—-

Suave: “Boy, that was a mouthful.  Where’s my theasaurus?”

Jennifer Rubin of the Washington Post walks out and announces that Newt Gingrich can’t win.  Rubin contends that only a candidate who is ‘electable’ should emerge from the nominating process and that candidate is NOT Newt.

K-Roy (R) walks out with Gingrich.   K-Roy says he’s beaten their man, ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott not once but twice now.  K-Roy says it’s the Republican Establishment who are afraid of Newt- not the American people.

Rubin tells K-Roy he’s a wrestler and not a politician and to ‘run along.’   K-Roy tells Rubin to tell Scott to get his ass in the ring and he’ll beat it all over the ring…again.

K-Roy gets in the ring but Scott does not come out.  Bob Dole does.

Suave: “Oh, great.  K-Roy’s going to kill Bob Dole in the ring.”

Thankfully, Dole does not get into the ring but reads from a statement:

I have not been critical of Newt Gingrich but it is now time to take a stand before it is too late. If Gingrich is the nominee it will have an adverse impact on Republican candidates running for county, state, and federal offices. Hardly anyone who served with Newt in Congress has endorsed him and that fact speaks for itself. He was a one-man-band who rarely took advice. It was his way or the highway.

Gingrich served as Speaker from 1995 to 1999 and had trouble within his own party. By 1997 a number of House Republican members wanted to throw him out as Speaker. But he hung on until after the 1998 elections when Newt could read the writing on the wall. His mounting ethics problems caused him to resign in early 1999. I know whereof I speak as I helped establish a line of credit of $150,000 to help Newt pay off the fine for his ethics violations. In the end, he paid the fine with money from other sources.

Gingrich had a new idea every minute and most of them were off the wall. He loved picking a fight with Bill Clinton because he knew this would get the attention of the press. This and a myriad of other specifics like shutting down the government helped to topple Gingrich in 1998.

In my run for the presidency in 1996 the Democrats greeted me with a number of negative TV ads and in every one of them Newt was in the ad. He was very unpopular and I am not only certain that this did not help me, but that it also cost House seats that year. Newt would show up at the campaign headquarters with an empty bucket in his hand — that was a symbol of some sort for him — and I never did know what he was doing or why he was doing it, and I’m not certain he knew either.

The Democrats are spending millions of dollars running negative ads against Romney as they are hoping that Gingrich will be the nominee which could result in a landslide victory for Obama and a crushing defeat for Republicans from the courthouse to the White House. Democrats are not running ads against Gingrich which is further proof they want to derail Governor Romney.

In my opinion if we want to avoid a sweeping victory by Obama in November, Republicans should nominate Governor Romney as our standard bearer. He could win because he has the requisite experience in the public and private sectors. He would be a PCW CEO in whom we could have confidence and he would make us proud.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

BLITZER’S BLOG: My thoughts before tonight’s debate

Ann Coulter To Glenn Beck: Newt Gingrich Is ‘Pompous And Boring’

Suave: “Whoa!  Bob Dole lays it down against Newt Gingrich!”

Steve Hunter’s Three Sentence Political Commentary- because three sentences is all you need to get your point across.

TOPIC:    Democratic Rep. Jan Schakowsky (Ill.) re: Keystone XL- “Twenty thousand jobs is really not that many jobs, and investing in green technologies will produce that and more…”

1.  Sure, tell that to one of the 20,000 gainfully seeking employment.

2. The Green technologies who produce jobs- you mean the ones that keep going bankrupt- those jobs?

3.  Really?

K-Roy is still in the ring.  Finally, ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott runs out and it’s on again.

[Scott and K-Roy throw haymakers left and right at each other.  Rick Santorum (R-PA) and Ron Paul (R-TX) run down but once again they are reduced to being spectators.]

Suave: “HOLY CRAP!  HERE COMES CORPORATE MIGHT!”

Big Oil (R)
HT: 6′ 11″ WT: 323, HOME: Houston, TX
FIN: Oklahoma Driller (modified piledriver)
MGR: Texas Tex and Gordon Guyko

‘The Wall Street Market Analyst with the Man Crush on ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit” Kirk Walstreit (R)
HT: 6-2  WT: 220, HOME: New York City, NY
FIN: Stock Market Plunge
MGR: Gordon Guyko

[Big Oil and Walstreit hit the ring and toss Scott aside to attack K-Roy.  Big Oil lays the chops across K-Roy's chest.  Walstreit delivers a couple of stiff right hands.  Gingrich is up on the apron screaming at the referee to stop this.  'The Queen of Political Extreme' Ann Coulter runs down and pulls Gingrich off the apron.  Gingrich and Coulter exchange words.  Big Oil lifts K-Roy up...OKLAHOMA DRILLER!]

Suave: “HOLY CRAP!  BIG OIL JUST SPIKED K-ROY!”

Down runs T-Roy (R) and the Raving Rednecks Locke and Loade (R).  They wade into the fray and it turns into a pier six brawl.

At the top of the ramp, PCW CEO Obama, Big Union: Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker, The California Teacher’s Union, PCW Television Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism all watch.  Big Labor asks Obama if they should go down there and kick some ass.  Obama says that’s not necessary- they’re doing just fine.

PCW Rewind: 2008 Last Tango in Tallahassee (FL)

PCW ‘LAST TANGO IN TALLAHASSEE’ – Jan 29th, 2008
Results from Tallahassee, FL.

The results from stop #4 of the PCW Roadshow Across America Tour in Tallahassee, Florida.

The show starts with PCW CEO George W, Progressive Alliance representative Nancy Pelosi, American Patriots representative John Boehner in the ring, and Independent representative Joe Leiberman. George W announces that PCW champion Justin Sufferable has a severely torn ACL from his match at PCW Weapons of Mass Political Destruction and underwent major reconstructive knee surgery last week. As a result of an historic agreement reached by all parties, there will be a new PCW champion crowned on March 5th at the Ohio Theatre in Columbus, Ohio when the PCW Roadshow Across America Tour hits Ohio.

W stated that the Progressive Alliance, American Patriots, and the Independents would be responsible for determining who their representative will be at the March 5th show.

Double main event tonight:

A special Progressive Alliance three-way tag team match between Bill Clinton and Kathryn Randall Collins w/Hillary Clinton vs. Barack Obama and PCW Women’s Champion ‘Media Empress’ Opal Winfree vs. John Edwards and PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl Tessa Martin

Four-way American Patriots action with Big Oil w/Texas Tex and Mitt Romney vs. Starz N. Stripes w/John McCain vs. Kirk Walstreit w/Rudy Giuliani vs. Mike the Mechanic w/Mike Huckabee and Chuck Norris

The usual chant of ‘PCW…PCW’ starts the night off.

MATCH #1- ‘No Frills’ CHRIS ESCONDIDO (Independent) vs. JIMMY FROM SO CAL (Jobber)
Escondido will be one of the favorites from the Independent wing of PCW to make to the PCW title match in March. Jimmy from So Cal is a Jim Rome wannabe Clone. Every time Jimmy hits a move he says ‘EPIC!’ or ‘CLAAH-SIC.’ After a third move, Jimmy goes ‘RACK ME!” so Escondido puts him in the torture rack and Jimmy gets run.

Sheila the secretary and Mike the Mechanic walk out. Sheila tells Mike that she finally found a new job- as a waitress at a tequila bar. Now, she wants to be known as ‘Tequila’ Sheila. Plus, she gets a cool theme song too. Mike’s okay with that.

MATCH #2- “The Angry Highway Warrior” TRIPLE R aka Road Ragin’ Randy vs. CAPPUCCINO DRINKIN’ GUY (Jobber)
Triple R takes a Singapore cane and whacks the ever-living hell out of Cappuccino Drinkin’ Guy. Triple R picks up the cup of cappuccino and pours the hot contents onto Cappuccino Drinkin’ Guy. Caneshot. Caneshot. Cover. Pin. Match.

MATCH #3- ‘Defense Expert’ HALLIE BURTON (American Patriots) w/Mgr. Neal Conn- making foreign policy as paramount responsibility of government, seeing the need for the U.S. acting as the world’s sole superpower as indispensable to establishing and maintaining global order vs. TEQUILA SHEILA (Independent)
Sheila’s first real wrestling match. She’s walks to the ring as Bobby Bare’s “Pour Me Another Tequila Sheila” plays. Sheila’s inexperienced and it shows and this is Hallie Burton’s first match since she lost the PCW Women’s Title to ‘Media Empress’ Opal Winfree. Sheila hangs in there for awhile with Hallie. But Neal Conn runs in and clips Sheila’s knee. Hallie covers and gets the win.

Neal Conn and Hallie Burton celebrate after the match. Then they are joined by Rush Limbaugh and Tom DeLay. Limbaugh and DeLay vow to do everything in their power from keep John McCain and Starz N. Stripes from winning tonight. Again, they go on and on about how McCain ‘can’t be trusted’ and he isn’t a real conservative and an authentic member of the American Patriots. DeLay talks up a ‘real’ conservative in Mitt Romney and promises that when all is said and done “Romney and Big Oil will reign supreme tonight!”

*Def Leppard’s “Rock, Rock ‘til You Drop” blares over the loudspeakers*

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, the Extreme Equalizer, runs out. Limbaugh and DeLay bail out through the crowd leaving Neal Conn to face the wrath of WTF. Kick to the stomach. Powerbomb. Good night Neal Conn.

MATCH #4- CNN’S LOU DOBBS (Independent) vs. MSNBC’S KEITH OLBERMANN (Progressive Alliance) vs. FOX NEWS’S BILL O’REILLY (American Patriots)
Last week at PCW Weapons of Mass Political Destruction, Olbermann and O’Reilly were in the middle of a knock down, drag out free for all when Dobbs ran down and took both men out. Olbermann immediately goes after O’Reilly but eats an Independent DDT from Dobbs. O’Reilly heaves Olbermann out of the ring and goes for the chair right away. Two chairshots to Olbermann. Dobbs comes off the top rope and takes O’Reilly’s head off. Dobbs flings O’Reilly into the barricade. Olbermann gets up and wraps TV cable around Dobbs neck. Chairshot to Dobbs. O’Reilly tries to Pearl Harbor Olbermann and eats a boot to the face. Olbermann brings out the cheese grater and opens up a gusher on O’Reilly’s forehead. Dobbs low blows Olbermann from behind. Cheese grater to Olbermann’s forehead now. O’Reilly charges. Dobbs ducks and O’Reilly lariats Olbermann. Power slam to Dobbs by O’Reilly. O’Reilly goes for a table. Olbermann clubs him from behind and shoves O’Reilly on the table. Olbermann going to the top turnbuckle. Dobbs gets up and crotches Olbermann on the top rope. Dobbs then climbs the top turnbuckle and goes for it. O’Reilly has plenty of time to roll off the table and Dobbs splits it in half.

Olbermann pulled off the top rope by O’Reilly and lands hard on the floor. O’Reilly sets up a second table and drapes Olbermann on it. O’Reilly climbs the turnbuckle. John Edwards and David Letterman, of all people, run-in. Edwards pulls Olbermann off the table. Letterman pushes O’Reilly from behind and sends him through the table. The crowd goes “PCW…PCW!” Olbermann covers and he gets the pin.

John Edwards announces that he is withdrawing from consideration to be the Progressive Alliance nominee to become the next PCW CEO. He thanks PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl Tessa Martin for all her help. This means that it’ll just be Bill Clinton and Kathryn Randall Collins vs. Barack Obama and PCW Women’s Champion ‘Media Empress’ Opal Winfree in a special mixed tag team match.

MATCH #5- A. TOM BOMB aka A-BOMB of Ron Paul’s New Libertarian Army w/ Hy Drogen Bomb, Newt Tron Bomb, and Daisy Cutter-Bomb (American Patriots) vs ‘EXTREME VEGAN’ BROCK COLE LEE of the Green World Order w/ GreenPete, PeaceNick, and Peta from PETA (Progressive Alliance)
The bell doesn’t even ring as Brock Cole Lee immediately attacks A. Tom Bomb Both land heavy blows. A-Bomb takes the early upper hand and flings the Extreme Vegan out of the ring onto the mat below. Lee gets up and the brawl continues all the way to the concession area. Lee takes someone’s drink and whips it in A-Bomb’s face. Then he takes a thing of nachos, complete with hot sauce and smears it all over A-Bomb. Both men continue to exchange blows into the concession area. A-Bomb knocks Brock Cole Lee over a railing and takes him to the floor. Trashcan to the back of Lee and then A-Bomb empties the contents on him. A-Bomb puts the can over Lee’s head and whaps it several times with a beer bottle. A-Bomb then takes him over a barricade with some kicks and goes for a cover. The referee counts two before Lee kicks out.

Brock Cole Lee hits a suplex on the wooden floor. Hy Drogen bomb comes over and inadvertently distracts A-Bomb enough to allow Lee to connect a kick to the jaw. Then GreenPete throws him a Singapore cane and he breaks it over the back of the A-Bomb. PeaceNick immediately begins to protest the extreme violence. More caneshots to A-Bomb as both men stumble back up to the ring. Lee literally throws A-Bomb back into the ring along with a trashcan. The Extreme Vegan climbs in and connects with the lid of the can and another two count. H-Bomb hits the ring and lariats Lee causing GreenPete and Peta from PETA to intervene which induces Daisy Cutter-Bomb to go after Peta. In the midst of all the confusion, A-Bomb takes the trashcan lid and gets it kicked in his face by Brock Cole Lee. Lee covers and gets the win.

Afterwards, the Green World Order celebrates. Outside the ring, A-Bomb is furious at H-Bomb and both exchange words as they leave.

MATCH #6- SPECIAL PROGRESSIVE ALLIANCE TAG TEAM MATCH- KATHRYN RANDALL COLLINS aka KRC and BILL CLINTON w/Hillary Clinton and the Clinton Political Pitbulls- James Carville and Terry McAuliffe vs. ‘MEDIA EMPRESS’ OPAL WINFREE and BARACK OBAMA w/ Opal’s Flock- Soccer Mom and New Age Sensitive Guy
Winfree and the powerhouse of the Clinton camp, KRC, start. Winfree shoves her to the mat and throws her around. KRC bails to the floor. Winfree follows and rams KRC’s head into the ring apron. Shoulderblock from Winfree. They brawl all the way around the ring. KRC challenges her to a test-of-strength. KRC accepts. They lock up, allowing Carville and McAuliffe to doubleteam Winfree from behind. Knee drop by KRC gets two. She locks in the abdominal stretch on the Media Empress and allows Soccer Mom and New Age Sensitive Guy to sneak in from behind and pull KRC off. Chairshot to KRC by Opal. A second chairshot before Carville trips Opal and gives the advantage back to KRC. KRC responds with chairshots of her own. Frying pan to the snozzle. Then she pulls Opal up and throws her into the ring. Back inside, KRC wanders back to her corner and Clinton tags himself in. Opal then tags Obama in. Big stare down. Bill and Obama circle and jaw at each other. The crowd rises in anticipation. Bill shoves Obama. Obama shoves Bill. Then out of nowhere, Ted Kennedy runs down with a steel-folding chair and jumps in the ring. Kennedy looks at both men. Bill implores him to help Hillary. Barack implores him for his support. Kennedy eyeballs Clinton…then Obama. Then he pastes Clinton with the chair.

Hillary is in shock. The Clinton Political Pitbulls hit the ring. Opal’s Flock hit the ring. Everyone’s in the ring. Somewhere lost in the melee, Barack snuck in a cover and gets the win.

Ted Kennedy then cuts a promo decrying the devisive bare knuckles, hardball tactics of the Clintons and says that Barack Obama would be a fitting nominee from the Progressive Alliance to be the next PCW CEO. Kennedy declares that it’s time for Barack Obama. “It’s not the length of time in PCW that matters, it’s his vision. He’ll be ready to become PCW CEO on day one.”

MATCH #7- STARZ N. STRIPES w/John McCain vs. BIG OIL w/ Texas Tex and Mitt Romney vs. Kirk Walstreit w/Rudy Giuliani vs. MIKE THE MECHANIC w/Tequila Sheila and Mike Huckabee
No Chuck Norris tonight. All four men converge in the middle. Starz and Big Oil engage while Walstreit hammers Mike the Mechanic with rights and lefts. Snap suplex by Walstreit. Walstreit tosses Mike the Mechanic out and they battle outside the ring. Starz and Big Oil throw haymakers back and forth. Outside, Walstreit puts Mike the Mechanic through a table with a running plancha. Mike gets up and goes nuts on Walstreit with various martial arts moves he learned from Chuck Norris. But he whiffs on a spinning kick and Walstreit hits a drop toe hold, sending Mike the Mechanic’s head bouncing off a nearby chair. Walstreit took Mike up on the edge of the steel barricade and hit a Stock Market Plunge through the announcer’s table. Huckabee tries to help but Rudy holds him off to give Walsteit the pin. Mike the Mechanic eliminated.

Both Starz and Big Oil are bloody. The ref gets splattered by a flying forearm by Big Oil. Rudy tries to pepper spray Big Oil in the face. Big Oil ducks out of the way and Walstreit takes a faceful of pepper spray. Rudy checks on Walstreit and gets DDT’d because he can’t see who he’s hitting. Oklahoma Driller to Walstreit and he’s done.

It’s down to Starz N. Stripes and Big Oil. Starz hits Big Oil with kicks in machine gun fashion to take his legs out. McCain cheers on Starz and Romney yells for Big Oil. Dueling chants from the crowd for both McCain and Romney. Big Oil clubs Starz’s back, but Starz gets away and circles Big Oil, attacking his legs all the time. Big Oil ducks a swing and gets hit with more kicks. Big Oil spins Starz around and starts clubbing him in the back. Forearms and kicks to Starz in the corner. Big Oil connects with a Suplex. Big Oil then throws him to the outside. He sits Starz on the chair and hits a missile dropkick that sends him flying backwards. Texas Tex wanders over and gets a cheap shot with his golden money belt. Tex goes for another, but Starz evades and manages to throw Tex into the crowd. Starz climbs the turnbuckle. PLANCHA to Big Oil! Starz tries to weaken Big Oil with more kicks. Starz drapes Big Oil’s leg over the guardrail and whacks it with a chair! A second chairshot by Starz. A third. Starz gets Big Oil lifted in the air for a fisherman’s Suplex. Then Rush Limbaugh, Tom DeLay, and Ann Coulter run in.

Limbaugh clips Starz’s leg. Big Oil falls directly on Starz. Cover. Two count. John McCain runs in and shoves Limbaugh. Mitt Romney comes in from behind and shoves McCain. Urged on by Ann Coulter’s annoying screeching, Romney, Limbaugh and DeLay triple-team McCain. Suddenly, the crowd stands up as H. Norman Schwarzkopf and…no…no freakin’ way? SYLVESTER FREAKIN’ STALLONE? Schwarzkopf and Stallone tear Limbaugh and DeLay off McCain and throw them to the floor. Both Limbaugh and DeLay can’t believe it. Romney continues to go after McCain and gets clocked by a returning Mike Huckabee. Texas Tex then tries to clobber McCain with his golden money belt. McCain evades. Then…no…nah…it couldn’t be…it is…ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER! Texas Tex’s eyes widen. Then he turns and runs for it.

Big Oil watches Texas Tex run off being chased by the Governor of California. Starz grabs a chair and plasters Big Oil with it. Fisherman’s suplex. Starz covers…and gets the hard earned victory.

Starz, McCain, Schwarzkopf, and Stallone celebrate in the ring. Ann Coulter screeches and slams her hands against the ring apron in frustration.

Stop #5 will be in Buffalo, NY for PCW Super Tuesday

Gingrich v. Romney- It’s On!: PCW Extreme Political TV

PCW Extreme Political TV
North Charleston Arena
North Charleston, SC
Monday January 23rd, 2012
Host: Johnny Suave

From PCW South Carolina Slaughter This Past Saturday Night
[...Kevin Scott hits a Russian legsweep on K-Roy.  Roll up...1...2...

Suave: "I DON'T BELIEVE IT!  IT'S THE ALASKAN PITBULL SARAH PALIN AND SHE JUST MADE THE SAVE FOR K-ROY!"

The crowd roars as Palin slides right back out of the ring.  Mitt Romney can't believe it.  Newt Gingrich gets up on the ring apron and urges K-Roy on...]

[...the crowd stands and let's out another roar as Chuck Freakin' Norris hits the ring.  Scott is totally confused by this turn of events.  Norris whirls around and nails a spinning heel kick on Scott and the American Citizen becomes totally unconscious.

Suave: "K-Roy with the cover!"

The referee counts...1...2...3.

Suave: "K-ROY'S DONE IT!  A STUNNING VICTORY FOR K-ROY AND NEWT GINGRICH THAT A WEEK AGO- NO ONE SAW COMING!"]

Suave notes the buzz in the crowd tonight coming off a memorable PCW South Carolina Slaughter show.   And now it’s on to next Tuesday night’s PCW Tussle in Tallahassee, Florida show.  Can ‘The Massachusetts Redblood’ Mitt Romney (R-MA) rebound from a disappointing loss in South Carolina?  Can Newt Gingrich (R-GA) keep the momentum going?  Can Rick Santorum (R-PA) break through and throw this thing completely wide open?

But first, the national anthem…

Suave: “Oh, dear…what were they thinking?”

Romney hit the ring and cut a promo with full guns blazing on Gingrich.  Romney called Gingrich an insider who lobbied for big money clients.

Romney: “In the 15 years after he left Washington D.C., Gingrich worked as an influence peddler for his big money clients.  When I was Governor of Massachusetts, I made Ted Kennedy refinance his house.”

This brought Gingrich out.   He called Romney out on the income tax issue.  Romney shot back that after much reflection and soul searching, he decided to put out two years of tax returns.

Romney: “That’s more than anyone else in this race.”

Romney then fired back about Freddie Mac and called Gingrich a lobbyist.  Gingrich said he wasn’t.  Romney said he was.  Gingrich: “No, I’m not.”  Romney: “Yes you are.”

Rick Santorum (R-PA) and Ron Paul (R-TX) come out and try to get into the conversation.

Gingrich: “No, I’m not.”  Romney: “Yes you are.”  Gingrich: “No, I’m not.”  Romney: “Yes you are.”

Santorum and Paul again try to jump in…

Gingrich: “No, I’m not.”  Romney: “Yes you are.”  Gingrich: “No, I’m not.”  Romney: “Yes you are.”

Gingrich: “Wait a second.  I just read that Romney gave John McCain 23 years worth of tax returns in 2008 when he was a candidate to join the ticket.”

Romney: “And your point?”

Gingrich:  “And McCain ended up choosing Sarah Palin (R-AK) instead?”

Romney: “HEY!”

MATCH #1
‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R) w/”The Massachusetts Redblood’ Mitt Romney (R-MA) vs. K-Roy (R) w/Newt Gingrich (R-GA)

Scott comes out and he’s pissed.   Suave says he’s never seen Scott this angry before.  Scott throws K-Roy over the top rope and grabs a chair.  *WHAP*  *WHAP*

Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”

*WHAP*  After the third chairshot, Scott throws the chair at K-Roy and flings him into the steel barricade.  He places K-Roy face up over the barricade and climbs a table…guillotine leg drop!

Suave: “HOLY CRAP!  SCOTT’S  SNAPPED!”

K-Roy somehow pulls himself up and tries to get away.  Scott grabs him from behind and hits a belly to back suplex on the floor.  Scott then pulls K-Roy up and launches him into the steel steps.  Scott then standing drop kicks K-Roy into the steel steps…

…end of match.  K-Roy is bloodied and barely standing.

Suave: “Scott’s in control.  Will he finish the job tonight?”

The crowd turns to the back.  A familiar face ambles down to the ring.

Suave: “What the hell?  FRED THOMPSON (R-TN)?”

Scott sees Thompson and immediately tries to push him.  Romney tries to get Scott to refocus back on K-Roy.  Scott and Thompson exchange words.  K-Roy pulls himself up…K-BOMB!

Suave: “HOLY CRAP!  DESPERATION K-BOMB BY K-ROY!

Now Scott’s down and woozy.  K-Roy, with help from Fred Thompson, throws Scott back into the ring.  K-Roy rolls in.  Grabs the legs…spins around.  FIGURE FOUR LEG LOCK!  Scott’s in trouble…Scott can’t get away…Scott taps!

WINNER: K-Roy @ 11:41

Romney is incredulous.  He can’t believe it.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Ann Coulter To O’Reilly: Newt’s Media Attacks Are ‘Like Jesse Jackson Accusing People Of Racism’

Bob Beckel Stands Up For Newt: ‘I Know From My Own History’ Gingrich Isn’t Racist

Romney: Gingrich didn’t earn millions as historian

Romney says his taxes are entirely legal and fair

The crowd stands and gives Congresswoman Giffords a standing ovation.

Recap- Daniel-San’s (I) PCW Title Defense vs. Valora Salinas (I) from PCW South Carolina Slaughter
After a two minute sequence that saw near-falls by both wrestlers and had the crowd on their feet, John Creese and his Cobra Conservative gang (R) – Johnny, Dutch, Tommy, and Jimmy, made their way to the ring.  Creese and his group entered the ring and it appeared they were going to attack Daniel-San again.  However, Creese sic’d his Cobra Cons on Valora...

…Salinas was obliterated by a Crane Kick by Daniel-San that nearly took her head off.  Unconscious on unable to defend herself, Daniel-San slapped on the Labell Lock and the referee called the match.  However, Daniel-San refused to release the hold, even after Mrs. Miyagi pleaded with him to do so.  Creese’s Cobra Cons then annihilated Mrs. Miyagi and left her in a crumpled heap in the ring.

Daniel-San (R) comes out with John Creese and the Cobra Cons and calls Mrs. Miyagi out.  As Creese et all look menacingly on, Daniel-San tells Mrs. Miyagi that he will describe her factor in his success in one word: Failure.  The crowd starts to boo.  Daniel-San says Mrs. Miyagi was a failure of a manager, a failure at managing his career, and a failure as a human being.

Daniel-San: “John Creese has shown me the right path to take.  So as of now, Mrs. Miyagi, you’re fired!”

Again, the crowd boos and debris flood the ring.  Daniel-San calls the audience a bunch of jealous wannabes who’d give anything to be in his position right now.  He now has money, power, and prestige.

Creese gets on the mic and tells Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich that Daniel-San is the new face of the Republicans and they’d be wise to show him the proper respect he deserves.

Creese: “Daniel-San is the Republican’s number one wrestler.  Not ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott.  Not that redneck hick, K-Roy.  Daniel-San- the PCW Champion!”

Suave: “Well, this totally sucks.”

The crowd continues to litter the ring with debris.

SPECIAL MUSICAL GUEST:
Charlie Ray Carlson and the Co-Dependents

‘Shut Up and Drink My Beer”
“I’m sitting at a bar stool
They’ve got the TV on
It’s one of those political pundit shows
Who says the other side is wrong
I ask the bartender to change it now
And I make it very clear
I didn’t come in to hear political noise
I came in to drink some beer

“They say the cover of Fox News could be slightly skewed
And MSNBC may have a particular point of view
As for CNN, let me make this crystal clear
I wish they’d all shut up…
And let me drink my beer.
I know y’all claim to be- impartial and fairl
Y’all just need to shut up
And let me drink my beer…..

‎”I already know how bad things are
Because I live it every day
We know the economy’s bad- and jobs are few
And we all have bills to pay
The government prints the money they need
While the rest of us are in arrears
Staying afloat in an ocean of debt
And not enough cash to buy a beer

“They say the cover of Fox News could be slightly skewed
And MSNBC may have a particular point of view
As for CNN, let me make this crystal clear
I wish they’d all shut up…
And let me drink my beer.
I know y’all claim to be- impartial and fairl
Y’all just need to shut up
And let me drink my beer
Yee-haw.

“Both parties- they’re all the same
They point fingers at each other to blame
For the way things are what they are
I can barely afford to drive my car
Raise a glass for the common man
Who’s only doing the best he can
Raise a middle finger if you’re pissed
And tell the politicians to occupy this

“They say the cover of Fox News could be slightly skewed
And MSNBC may have a particular point of view
As for CNN, let me make this crystal clear
I wish they’d all shut up…
And let me drink my beer.
I know y’all claim to be- impartial and fair
Y’all just need to shut up
And let me drink my beer
Can’t I sit here in peace and
Just drink my beer.”

Recap: PCW Women’s Champion Valora Salinas (I) vs. Kathryn Randall Collins (D) Match from PCW South Carolina Slaughter
Leader of the PCW Executive Committee Harry Reid (D-NV) and Nancy Pelosi(D-CA) walked out with Democrat wrestler Kathryn Randall Collins.

Reid and Pelosi told the referee to ring the bell for a PCW Women’s title match.  KRC rolled the unconscious Valora over and made the cover.  Reid and Pelosi demanded that the referee make the 3 count.   He does reluctantly and KRC is given the PCW Women’s Title belt as a result.

Collins is in the ring with Nancy Pelosi (D-CA).  Collins says those who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it.  She has been the PCW Women’s champion not one, not two, not three, but now FOUR times.

KRC: “When you forget your place, Valora Salinas, you become irrelevant.  I am the greatest Women’s champion in PCW history for a reason.”

Pelosi congratulates Collins on her win.  She states that the women’s division now has a champion that young women can look up to.  It’s only fitting that the women’s title is now heard by a Democrat because the Democrats are the natural home for women.

Suave: “Apparently, Ann Coulter isn’t a woman.  Or Sarah Palin.”

Pelosi then denounced the Daniel-San switch to the Republicans.  She says the only way that the Republicans can win is by hook or by crook.

Sarah Mae Smith- ‘The American Girl’ (R): “Okay, it’s getting deep in here.  Ms. Pelosi, what do you call what went down when you stole the title from Valora Saturday night?”

Pelosi responds that Smith’s characterization is categorically wrong and besides, “at least, we did it for the right reason.”

Smith climbs into the ring and confronts KRC.  KRC tells her to leave.  Smith slaps her.  And KRC tackles her.

Suave: “CAT-FIIIIIIGHT!  CAT-FIIIIIIIGHT!”

Pelosi tries to pull KRC off of Smith.  ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas (R) runs to the ring and attempts to pull Smith away from KRC.  Mass confusion in the ring as the show ends…

Newt Closes the Deal in South Carolina: PCW South Carolina Slaughter Report

PCW South Carolina Slaughter Report
Colonial Life Arena
Columbia, South Carolina
Saturday January 21st, 2012

K-Roy (R), seconded by Newt Gingrich (R-GA) pinned ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R) at 16:22 to win at South Carolina Slaughter tonight in Columbia, South Carolina.

Gingrich wins South Carolina GOP primary, CNN projects; Romney second

Gingrich Rolls to Victory in South Carolina

After Chuck Norris hit the ring and connected with a spinning heel kick on Scott, K-Roy hit a K-Bomb on the ‘American Citizen’ to set up the final pin.   Also making a difference in the match, ‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin (R-AK) who made the save on a pin attempt by Scott.  ‘The Massachusetts Redblood’  Mitt Romney (R-MA) got into a heated argument with Palin afterwards and K-Roy seized on the momentum change to swing the match in his direction.

Post match, Romney vowed that he was in the Republican contest to challenge PCW CEO Barack Obama (D-IL) in the fall for the long run.  He also gave Scott a vote of confidence after a tough week that’s witnessed the ascension of K-Roy as a major player in the PCW singles division.

Paul to skip Florida, look for delegates in Nevada, Minnesota

Former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush to remain neutral in GOP primary

The main event featured PCW Champion, Independent Daniel-San, accompanied to the ring by Mrs. Miyagi, versus PCW Women’s Champion and PCW’s Queen of Extreme Valora Salinas for the PCW Title.

The match started off with an impressive series of technical wrestling of all things and Daniel-San controlled the early going.  But soon enough, Valora showed just why she is considered PCW’s Queen of Extreme by incorporating a steel folding chair and other sundry weaponry into the match.

After a two minute sequence that saw near-falls by both wrestlers and had the crowd on their feet, John Creese and his Cobra Conservative gang (R) – Johnny, Dutch, Tommy, and Jimmy, made their way to the ring.  Creese and his group entered the ring and it appeared they were going to attack Daniel-San again.  However, Creese sic’d his Cobra Cons on Valora.

Salinas, an independent with no real allies to come to her rescue, was obliterated by the four on one attack and then decked by a Crane Kick by Daniel-San that nearly took her head off.  Unconscious on unable to defend herself, Daniel-San slapped on the Labell Lock and the referee called the match.  However, Daniel-San refused to release the hold, even after Mrs. Miyagi pleaded with him to do so.  Creese’s Cobra Cons then annihilated Mrs. Miyagi and left her in a crumpled heap in the ring.

Finally, Daniel-San left the ring with Creese and company to a chorus of boos and debris being hurled in his direction.  To everyone’s great surprise, Leader of the PCW Executive Committee Harry Reid (D-NV) and Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) walked out with Democrat wrestler Kathryn Randall Collins.

Reid and Pelosi told the referee to ring the bell for a PCW Women’s title match.  KRC rolled the unconscious Valora over and made the cover.  Reid and Pelosi demanded that the referee make the 3 count.   He does reluctantly and KRC is given the PCW Women’s Title belt as a result.

Tune in to PCW Extreme Political TV Monday night to see what ramifications there are from what went down tonight.

Romney Can End This in Florida

Newt Gingrich’s South Carolina Upset

Gingrich Wins in South Carolina

To recap:

K-Roy (R) w/Newt Gingrich (R-GA) defeated ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R) backed by ‘The Massachusetts Redblood’ Mitt Romney (R-MA), The Right Rev. Randy Richardson (R) w/Rick Santorum (R-PA), and Jim Schmidt (R) w/Ron Paul (R-TX).

PCW Champion Daniel-San (I) retained over PCW Women’s Champion Valora Salinas (I) with the Labell Lock.  Daniel-San declared his allegiance with the Republicans after the match.

Kathryn Randall Collins (D) pinned PCW Women’s Champion Valora Salinas (I) to win the Women’s title.

Mitt heightens Newt attack in speech

Palin dubs Newt GOP ‘front-runner’

Newt Gingrich Pulls Off South Carolina Upset, Increasing Chances of Long Nomination Fight

South Carolina Slaughter Preview/PCW Rankings

PCW WORLD CHAMPION:  Daniel-San (I)
PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION: ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D)
PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION: Valora Salinas (I)
PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Big Labor/James the Jeep Worker (D)

SINGLES CONTENDERS:
#1- Valora Salinas (I)
#2- ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R)
#3- O’Beck Bahama (D)
#4- Charlie Blackwell (I)
#5- K-Roy (R)

TAG TEAM CONTENDERS:
#1- Corporate Might:  Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit (R)
#2- California Teachers Union: ‘The Foul Pole’ Andy Golatta/Malibu Dusty (D)
#3- Jack and Joe Schmidt (R-Libertarian)
#4- Charlie Blackwell/Mike the Mechanic (I)
#5- Paul Ryan’s Raiders: Nick Ray and Kevin Collins (R)

WOMEN’S CONTENDERS:
#1- Kathryn Randall Collins (D)
#2- Sarah Mae Smith (R)
#3- Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (R)
#4- Union Maid (D)
#5- ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas (R)

—————–

Tomorrow night’s PCW South Carolina Slaughter is a two match show.

First, it’ll be Republicans ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott w/the ‘Massachusetts Redblood’ Mitt Romney (R-MA), The Right Rev. Randy Richardson backed by Rick Santorum (R-PA) and the God Squad, K-Roy w/Newt Gingrich (R-GA), and Jim Schmidt (Ron Paul R-TX) meeting for the right to call themselves the champion of South Carolina Republicans.

K-Roy is coming on strong.  Can the two time PCW Champion Kevin Scott hold off the new blood or will Newt Gingrich guide K-Roy to his biggest win in PCW yet?  Can The Right Rev. Randy Richardson spring a surprise and bring home another win (if you count Iowa) for Rick Santorum?  And what about the wild card- Jim Schmidt w/Ron Paul’s New Libertarian Army behind him?

The main event will be the PCW Champion Daniel-San (I) putting his title on the line against the PCW Women’s Champion Valora Salinas (I).

Valora has on a path of destruction over the past couple of weeks and now gets her biggest opportunity in PCW with a title shot against Daniel-San.  Can Daniel-San, embroiled in some controversy this week, pull it all together and get back on track?  Will John Creese and his Cobra Conservatives, who’ve bedeviled the PCW Champion of late, interfere in the match?  Will the Democrats, who aren’t happy with Valora, attempt to get some payback against PCW’s Queen of Extreme.

Check out all the action tomorrow night on South Carolina Slaughter.

Democrat Three Way Dance Headlines/Perry Out: PCW Politics Is War on P-SPAN

PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN Report
Bender Arena
Washington D.C.
Thursday January 19th, 2012
Host: Johnny Suave

Crowd: “PCW! PCW! PCW!”

Johnny Suave welcomes everyone to PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN.  The PCW Champion Daniel-San (I) is on his way to the ring with Mrs. Miyagi and Suave reminds everyone what happened Monday night.

Replay-PCW Extreme Political TV
PCW Champion Daniel-San (I) talks with Woodward Bernstein.  He explains that the reason he is giving Valora a title match is because he’s obligated to defend the title and she deserves as much as anyone else.    Mrs. Miyagi adds that he’s not going to take her lightly before getting cut off by the champion.  Daniel-San then adds that Valora has won titles before and it’s time to see just how she’ll handle a big time match.

Daniel-San gets on the mic and publicly apologizes to Mrs. Miyagi for the way he acted.  He blames the extreme pressure of being the PCW Champion for him snapping like that.  Daniel-San tells the fans he’s lived out his dreams being the champion and he just had a bad night.

Mrs. Miyagi accepts his apology and both head to the back.  Daniel-San holds up his PCW title belt before disappearing into the back.

Suave: “Tonight on PCW Politics is War, Daniel-San and PCW Women’s Champion Valora Salinas will sign off on Saturday’s match at South Carolina Slaughter.   Stay tuned for that.”

To the ring…

Ring Announcer Kimber Marshall announces the guest referee for our first match of the night- Carnival Cruise ship Captain Francesco Schettino!

The crowd dumps all over the captain as he and his blond bombshell Dominica Cermotan come to the ring.

MATCH #1
PBR (I) w/Chief vs. James the Jeep Worker (D)

PBR- HT: 6’0”  WT: 220, HOME: Huntington, W.Va
FIN: Blue Ribbon Blaster
MGR: Chief

James the Jeep Worker- HT: 5’10″, WT: 221, HOME: Toledo, OH
FIN: The Picket Line

There’s spectulation that PBR may be signing on with the American Heartland Coalition according to Suave.

The match is a wild mishmash with little in ring activity.  Then Big Union (D) hits the ring and all hell breaks loose.

[...’The Self Described Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor hits PBR with the Scabbuster!  Union Maid in the ring.  Here comes the California Teacher's Union: 'Foul Pole' Andy Golatta and Malibu Dusty!  Golatta...FOUL POLE ON CHIEF!  Chief doubles over from the deliberate low blow by the Foul Pole.  Big Labor and Golatta hold PBR up so James the Jeep Worker can hit the Picket Line on him...]

Captain Schettino tries to restore order…unsuccessfully.

[...The American Heartland Coalition races to the ring: Charlie Blackwell and his Les Miserables, Mike the Mechanic with Tequila Sheila...

*Bobby Bare's "Pour Me Another Tequila Sheila" plays over the loudspeakers*

...along with the Walker Brothers: Ronnie and John.  Blackwell with the steel chair *WHAP* down goes James the Jeep Worker.  *WHAP* Down goes Malibu Dusty!  *ZZZZZAP*  Mike the Mechanic shocks Big Labor with his Jumper Cables.   Democrats and Republicans converge on the ring and it's a near riot.]

Captain Schettino throws his arms up.  He hops out of the ring, grabs the blonde bombshell, and heads to the back.   However, he’s met on the ramp by PCW Competition Committee Chief John Boehner (R-OH).  Boehner demands that Schettino returns to the ring and help restore order.  Schettino refuses and takes off up the ramp to the back.

COMMERCIAL BREAK
Costa Concordia Tragedy: Capt. Francesco Schettino Sparks Outrage
Francesco Schettino vs. Lord Jim: The one literary reference you
Domnica Cemortan Photos Defend Francesco Schettino on Facebook
Moronic Statement o’ the Year (Francesco Schettino Edition …

Ask any mermaid you happen to see
what’s the best tuna?
Chicken of the Sea

PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein interviews the ‘Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin (R).  Palin tells Bernstein that if she had a preference, that Newt Gingrich led wrestler K-Roy (R) would come out on top on Saturday at South Carolina Slaughter to ‘keep the process going.’   Palin stated she wants ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott, Mitt Romney’s wrestler, to continue to have an array of conservative competition.

Palin: “This process should keep going because iron sharpens iron and steel sharpens steel.”

CSM- Did Sarah Palin Endorse Newt Gingrich or Not?
Gingrich on Palin: I would ask her to consider taking a major role in …
Newt Gingrich: Palin’s Comments Are a Signal to Conservatives to …
Daily Kos: Newt Gingrich Promises Palin a Presidential Appointment …

The Angry Left Wing Bloggers: Daily Kos Markos Moutilsas, Eric Boehlert of Media Matters for America, Arianna Huffington, and Jane Hamsher of Firedog.com march out with PCW Television Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D).   Chism says Palin has endorsed Gingrich and it’s okay, two self aggrandizing attention seekers sticking together.

Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (R) then walks down to the ring.  She points out that Palin & Gingrich are both unconventional, they don’t fit into the mold of your typical Washington insider, and they’re not afraid of a woman.  Chism says Palin is a poor excuse for a woman and tells Jones to get out of his ring.  Jones dares him to do something about it.  Chism slaps her in the face.  Jones kicks him in the groin.

A referee slides into the ring but before anything else can happen, PCW Security run to the ring and drag the Eskimo Queen out.  PCW CEO Barack Obama’s (D-IL) aide de camp Joe Biden (D-DE) walks out and informs Chism that if he’s going to fight anyone tonight, it’s going to be fellow Democrats Yamamoto Tanaka and O’Beck Bahama.

Biden: “You’ve been complaining about not getting your due respect.  Tonight, we’re going to settle this once and for all.  Per PCW CEO Barack Obama, the winner of this match will become the Democrats #1 wrestler.”

As Tanaka and Bahama come down the ramp, Biden recognizes a group flown in to see the show from San Francisco, California.  He flashes them a thumbs up and congratulates them on their football team’s success.  Biden then adds, “The Giants are on their way to the Super Bowl!”

Suave: “WHAT?”

Bahama and Chism both facepalm themselves.

Joe Biden Congratulates The San Francisco Giants “On Their Way …
Joe Biden Gaffe in SanFran: Giants are Going to Super Bowl | Brian …
Who’s going to the Superbowl? Don’t ask Joe Biden « The Greenroom

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Rick Perry (R-TX) is in the ring with his wrestler Texas Jack and he announces that he’s dropping out of the contest to be the Republican representative to challenge PCW CEO Barack Obama in November.

Perry: “I have come to the conclusion that there is no viable path forward for me in 2012.  I know when it’s time to make a strategic retreat.”

Perry thanks Texas Jack and then leaves the ring.

Perry bows out of GOP race
Perry Drops Out. Endorses Newt. Will Campaign and Serve.
Perry: Newt is GOP ‘visionary’
GOP 2012: Perry dropping out; Newt’s scorched-earth karma; and a Final Four debate; Update: Perry endorses “visionary” Newt

MATCH #2
Cathy- the Obnoxious, Bitchy Dance Mom vs. Abby Lee- the Over the Top, Autocratic Dance Company Owner

Suave: “What the hell is this all about?”

Suave: “As I said, what the hell is this all about?”

[The bell rings and both Abby Lee and Cathy start insulting each other...

*'Meaning of Life' by Disturbed begins to play*

PCW Women's Champion, PCW's 'Queen of Extreme' Valora Salinas (I) hits the ring.  Cathy demands to know what she's doing there.  Valora whips her into the ring corner.  Then she grabs Abby Lee by the arm and whips her and her sizeable girth into Cathy.]

Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”

[Valora grabs a chair from the outside and slides back in.  She tosses the chair in the air and hits a standing dropkick onto the chair and smashes it into both women.]

Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”

Crowd: “PCW!…PCW!…PCW!”

BACKSTAGE
‘Focus on the Family’ founder Dr. James Dobson, flanked by The Right Rev. Randy Richardson (R) and The God Squad: Rev. Oral Hinnrich and Rev. Buddy Flambe, talks with PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein.  Dobson endorses Rick Santorum (R-PA) for the Republican nominee for PCW CEO.

Dr. Dobson: “Not only is Rick Santorum an authentic conservative; Rick Santorum is the authentic winner of Iowa.  Look at this…”

Replay: Drama in Des Moines (IA)
Scott gains the upper hand late and Santorum sneaks in and blows blinding powder into Scott’s eyes.  Scott can’t see and Richardson gets ready to drill him with a steel-folding chair.

Dr. Dobson explains that in reality Scott’s shoulders were on the mat for 3 seconds and the referee should have called the match for Rev. Richardson.   He calls for Rick Perry and his supporters to join the one, true ‘conservative- Rick-”

Perry, Gingrich, and Palin walk past the ring.

Suave: “What was that, Dr. Dobson?”

COMMERCIAL BREAK

MAIN EVENT- 3 Way Dance- non title
Winner Becomes the Democrats #1 Wrestler
Yamamoto Tanaka (D) vs. PCW Television Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) vs. O’Beck Bahama (D)

[...Tanaka has Chism in trouble.  Bahama hangs back and waits.  Tanaka on the top rope...JAPANESE SUPERDESTROYER ON THE WAY!.   Christopher Dodd (D-CT), chairman and CEO of the Motion Picture Association of America and advocate for SOPA runs to the ring with a steel folding chair.  He climbs in the ring and blasts Tanaka from behind with the chair.  Tanaka drops Chism who falls back into the ring and falls out of the ring.  Dodd then turns to Bahama and clocks him with the chair.  Bahama down.  Dodd rolls Chism over on top of Bahama...1...2...3.]

Bahama eliminated at 7:19.

[Tanaka, angry after the chair shot, climbs back into the ring.  Chism takes the chair and waffles him a second time with it.  Tanaka slumps over the top rope.  Chism drags him over the top and back into the ring.   He covers...1...2...3.

WINNER: ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism @ 8:02

Dodd gets on the mic afterwards and complains that blackout day is a “dangerous” “gimmick” “designed to punish elected and administration officials who are working diligently to protect American jobs from foreign criminals.”

Dodd: “It is an irresponsible response and a disservice to people who rely on them for information and use their services.  It is also an abuse of power given the freedoms these companies enjoy in the marketplace today.  It’s a dangerous and troubling development when the platforms that serve as gateways to information intentionally skew the facts to incite their users in order to further their corporate interests.”

Suave: “I’m sorry, is this the same guy who got special treatment from subprime mortgage companies during the friggin’ meltdown?  Really?”

Daniel-San v. Valora Salinas match signing
After Dodd exits, the PCW Champion Daniel-San (I), accompanied by Mrs. Miyagi, walks out for the Daniel-San v. Valora Salinas match signing for Saturday.  Soon after, Valora joins him.

Daniel-San and Valora both sign the contract.  Before anyone can say anything, John Creese and his Cobra Conservative gang (R) – Johnny, Dutch, Tommy, and Jimmy. attack again.

Daniel-San gets laid out.  Valora fights back and takes out three of the four Cobra Cons before the fourth connects with a spinning heel kick and knocks her out.   Creese and the Cobra Cons stand tall in the ring as the show ends.

PCW Rewind: Michigan Madness 2008

1/15/08- PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV- LIVE AT MICHIGAN MADNESS
From the Mid-Michigan Roller Arena, Lansing, MI. Johnny Suave announcing.

Johnny Suave: Welcome to PCW Extreme Political TV, live from Michigan Madness at the Mid-Michigan Roller Arena in Lansing, Michigan. It’s the third stop of PCW’s Roadshow Across American tour and a lot has gone down in the past two weeks. Let’s go back to one week ago. Mayhem at Manchester, New Hampshire. With the help of Hillary Clinton and her Political Pitbulls, Kathryn Randall Collins (KRC) won the PCW Women’s title over “Media Empress” Opal Winfree, seconded by Barack Obama. Clinton laid the groundwork for KRC’s win by paying mad hypnotist Dr. Erich Von Rickshaw to take out PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl Tessa Martin and making it a one on one match. Let’s go to the end…”

REPLAY- END OF KATHRYN RANDALL COLLINS- OPAL WINFREE MATCH FROM MAYHEM AT MANCHESTER
Hillary signals to the back and out came the Clinton Political Pitbulls- James Carville, Terry McAuliffe, and Sidney Blumenthal. Carville threw two chairs into the ring and power bombs Soccer Mom through them. McAuliffe put a table in the corner and Blumenthal belly-to-belly suplexes New Age Sensitive Guy through it. Barack gets on the ring apron. Blumenthal occupies him while KRC threw powder in Opal’s eyes. The ref takes a bump when Opal accidentally squashes him in the corner. Hillary slips Collins something. KRC turns and hits Opal with a chain. KRC covers. No referee. Hillary goes to the back to find someone. Next, KRC pulls out a metal object and belts Opal with it. She’s out. No referee. Carville and McAuliffe have Opal’s Flock under control. Barack can’t get by Blumenthal. Hillary drags another referee out. KRC covers. One. Two. Three. And we have a new PCW Women’s champion.

Barack Obama comes out with Winfree and her flock, Soccer Mom and New Age Sensitive Guy. The crowd chants “Oh-baum-ma…Oh-baum-ma…”

Suave: Obama comes out with the former women’s champion. I wonder what he has to say?

Obama motions the crowd to quiet down.

Barack Obama: Well? What can we say. We were out-foxed by an experienced opponent and we came up short. Opal Winfree has nothing to be ashamed of. And will we learn from what happened at Mayhem at Manchester? Yes, we will. Will we not be surprised when Hillary Clinton stoops so low to hire a mad doctor to hypnotize one of KRC’s opponents to keep her from wrestling? Yes, we will. Will we fight fire with fire from this point forward? Yes, we will.

Suave: They’re going to hire their own mad doctor and hypnotize KRC?

Opal leans over and whispers something to Barack.

Barack: No. That doesn’t mean we’re going to hire our own mad doctor. What I really mean is that we will not back down from Hillary and her Political Pitbulls……without resorting to the whole mad doctor hypnosis thing.

Suave: Well, I’m glad he cleared that all up.

Barack: We will take our campaign of hope to PCW Weapons of Mass Political Destruction, in just one week. KRC vs. Opal Winfree. Womano y womano for the PCW Women’s title. Hillary, bring everything you’ve got because when the match is over and the referee raises the hand of the winner- will Opal Winfree be the PCW Women’s champion again? Yes, she will!

Suave: Barack Obama lays down the gauntlet for next week’s match at PCW Weapons of Mass Political Destruction. We will announce the full card at the end of Michigan Madness tonight. But first, let’s go to the ring where the new PCW Women’s champion, Kathryn Randall Collins is about to make her first title defense. The big question is- against who? We know it’s not going to be Opal Winfree- they’re set to meet next week at PCW Weapons of Mass Political Destruction. No one knows if John Edwards and his wrestler, PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl Tessa Martin is even here.

MATCH #1- PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION KATHRYN RANDALL COLLINS aka KRC (Progressive Alliance) w/Hillary Clinton and the Clinton Political Pitbulls vs. ?????????????
KRC holds her PCW Women’s title belt high in the air. Hillary walks around the ring with the Political Pitbulls (James Carville and Terry McAuliffe- Sidney Blumenthal is not here tonight). Hillary takes the mic and derides Opal and Barack. Hillary: “They don’t want to fight us tonight. So the question is…who? Who has the intestinal fortitude to come out here and take on the PCW Women’s champion?” No one comes out. Hillary: “Come on. Who’s going to come out here and take us on-” The crowd buzzes when someone starts walking up the aisle. Suave: “Who is that? Wait! DENNIS KUCINICH? What the-” KRC laughs at the diminutive Kucinich and has a full foot height advantage over him. KRC and HRC nod. Hillary: “Okay. You’re on.”

KRC kicks Kucinich in the balls. He doubles over. She hits an evenflow DDT. Then she sets him up for the PPD-Personal Political Destruction. KRC hits the twisting Suplex type maneuver. She covers. Match over.

Suave: Okay. That was kinda impressive. Kinda…I said…we are talking about Dennis freakin’ Kucinich here.

THE RETURN OF THE ‘TEXAS HAMMER’ TOM DeLAY
DeLay returns to PCW for the first time in months to a chorus of boos from the crowd. He climbs in the ring and takes the microphone.

Tom DeLay: Thanks for that warm reception. I’m here to put you all straight about the so-called ‘Straight Shooter’ John McCain. He’s not really a true member of the American Patriots. No true member of the American Patriots would ever sell us out by working with the Progressive Alliance in the name of co-operation and compromise. McCain is not a true believer or else he would walk in lockstep with PCW CEO George W. and his aide de camp, Dick, on every major issue facing PCW. McCain can’t be trusted because he’s an independent thinker, a maverick, and God knows there’s no room for that inside the American Patriots. And now he wants to be the next PCW CEO? Let me tell y’all this. It won’t happen. McCain’s bucked too many of the people who really matter in the American Patriots- the elitists, the money people. I will fight to make sure that-

*Def Leppard’s “Rock, Rock til You Drop” blares over the loudspeakers”*

Startled at the sudden appearance of the song, DeLay looks anxiously towards the back.

Suave: OH YEAH! THE CROWD STANDS IN ANTICIPATION OF THE ENTRANCE OF THE EXTREME EQUALIZER….WHISKEY…….TANGO……FOXTROT!

Crowd chants: WHAT THE @#$#! WHAT THE @#$#!

Suave: And here he comes!

DeLay’s eyes widen as Whiskey Tango Foxtrot runs down to the ring.

Crowd chants: WHAT THE @#$#! WHAT THE @#$#!

DeLay slowly backs up. WTF jumps in the ring and points at him. DeLay suddenly tries to duck under the ropes but WTF grabs him by his suit coat and yanks him back in. He takes the mic from the Texas Hammer.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot: Senator McCain. Can I have three tables set up please?The crowd explodes.

Suave: THREE TABLES! HOLY CRAP!

DeLay appears very worried now. He tries to beg off but WTF has a firm grip on him. John McCain and comes down and sets up three tables outside the ring.

WTF: John, can you stack them up on top of each other?The crowd thunders its approval. DeLay’s head whips from side to side, looking for help as McCain places the tables on top of each other.

WTF: Thanks.

WTF grabs DeLay by the throat the chokeslams him to the canvas.

Suave: HOLY CRAP!

Crowd: PCW…PCW!

Then WTF lifts DeLay up and climbs the corner turnbuckle. The crowd noise increases when WTF reaches the top and puts DeLay in the power bomb position. Then he launches himself and blasts DeLay through all three tables.

Suave: HOLY, HOLY, HOLY FREAKIN’ CRAP!

Crowd: BCEW…BCEW…BCEW!

Tessa Martin walks to the ring.

Suave: Okay? That’s PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl Tessa Martin. She’s here?

Tessa climbs into the ring as the crew stretcher Tom DeLay out. Tessa takes the microphone.

Tessa Martin: All right. I’ve had it. This is what happened to me last week at Mayhem at Manchester when I was supposed to wrestle KRC and Opal Winfree for the PCW Women’s title.

REPLAY OF BEGINNING OF KRC vs. OPAL WINFREE vs. TESSA MARTIN MATCH AT MAYHEM AT MANCHESTER
John Edwards is in the ring. Tessa Martin, strangely enough, is not. To the back where Clinton Political Pitbull Terry McAuliffe, Dr. Erich Von Rickshaw, and a seemingly hypnotized Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl Tessa Martin are. McAuliffe pays the doctor for his services and Dr. Von Rickshaw leads Tessa away.

Tessa: That’s the last time that’s ever going to happen again. We’re going to settle this tonight. Von Rickshaw? Get your ass out here now!

The crowd cheers.

Suave: Tessa Martin is calling out Dr. Erich Von Rickshaw!

Dr. Von Rickshaw appears and slowly makes his way down to the ring.

Tessa: That’s right! I want you right now in the ring! We’re going to settle this once and for all. You and me. One on one.

Suave: A match?

Tessa: If you win…I’m yours. But if I win, you’ll never, ever, come within ten miles of me. Deal?

Dr. Von Rickshaw mulls the offer. Then he nods.

Tessa: Let’s do it…

MATCH #2- PCW EXTREME PIZZA DELIVERY GIRL TESSA MARTIN (Independent) VS. DR. ERICH VON RICKSHAW (Mad Doctor)
Dr. Von Rickshaw starts waving his hands in front of Tessa. Tessa puts on a pair of sunglasses. Dr. Von Rickshaw smiles. He knows he’s in trouble. Tessa pulls out a pizza bag (to carry hot pizzas in) from her corner and puts it over Dr. Von Rickshaw’s head. Then she starts flailing away at him, knocking him to the canvas. The doctor manages to get the pizza bag off him and pulls off Tessa’s glasses. Suave: “OH, OH!” Dr. Von Rickshaw looks deep into her eyes and waves his hands. Tessa stops. Suave: “This could be it! It looks like he’s got her entranced!” He motions her back and Tessa takes a step away from him. Dr. Von Rickshaw evilly smiles…and then…

Suave: “HERE COMES CHUCK NORRIS!” The crowd again explodes when Norris races to the ring. Dr. Von Rickshaw seems taken aback at the sudden appearance of the action film hero and Mike Huckabee supporter. He waves his hands in front of Norris…nothing. He does it again…nothing. Von Rickshaw tries again……absolutely nothing. Von Rickshaw: “WHY WON’T YOU DO WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO?” Suave yells from his broadcast position: “BECAUSE HE’S CHUCK FREAKIN’ NORRIS, THAT’S WHY!” Von Rickshaw: “Oh.” Spinning heel kick. *WHAP* Suave: “HOLY CRAP!” Dr. Von Rickshaw down and out. Tessa snaps out of it, covers, and wins the match.

Suave: Tessa Martin defeats Dr. Erich Von Rickshaw and that means he cannot come within 10 miles of her ever again. And thank God. All right, let’s run down the card for next week’s exciting PCW pay per view- PCW Weapons of Mass Political Destruction:

-Peta from PETA of the Green World Order (Progressive Alliance) vs. Daisy Cutter-Bomb of Ron Paul’s New Libertarian Army (American Patriots)

-A huge grudge match between bitter rivals: MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann (Progressive Alliance) vs. Fox News’s No Spin Culture Warrior Bill O’Reilly in an extreme death match

-Big Oil w/ Texas Tex and Mitt Romney (American Patriots) vs. Mike the Mechanic w/Sheila the secretary and Mike Huckabee. Both men try to settle an old score once and for all.

-Triple R w/Arianna Huffington (Progressive Alliance) vs. ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido (Independent)

-PCW Tag Team Champions Drunken Luchadors Dan and Don Martini (Independent) defend their title against the Green World Order- Extreme Vegan Brock Cole Lee and GreenPete w/PeaceNick and Peta from PETA.

-PCW Women’s Champion Kathryn Randall Collins w/Hillary Clinton and the Clinton Political Pitbulls, James Carville and Terry McAuliffe (Progressive Alliance) vs. former champion “Media Empress” Opal Winfree w/Opal’s Flock- Soccer Mom and New Age Sensitive Guy, and Barack Obama.

-Finally, the big one. PCW World Champion “Not just intolerable. Not just unbearable. He is…” Justin Sufferable (Progressive Alliance) defends against the former ‘Rookie Sensation’ Starz N. Stripes w/ ‘Straight Shootin’ John McCain

Suave: The Black Swamp Pirates will also be here to sing a couple songs. Next week, PCW Weapons of Mass Political Destruction.

GEORGE W’S OFFICE
BCEW CEO George W looks up as a bandaged up Texas Hammer Tom DeLay stomps in.

George W: Tom. What’s wrong?
Tom DeLay: WHAT’S WRONG? SOME OVERSIZED MANIAC JUST PUT ME THROUGH THREE TABLES! THAT’S WHAT! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?

George W: Now, Tom. Just calm down.

DeLay: CALM DOWN! I WENT OUT THERE TO EXPOSE JOHN McCAIN FOR WHAT HE IS AND THEN THIS-

*Def Leppard’s ‘Rock, Rock ‘til You Drop’ blares*

DeLay: Oh, no.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot runs into George W’s office, lifts Tom DeLay up by the throat, and then slams him through W’s desk, shattering it in two.

Suave: HOLY CRAP!

WTF glances at George W, shakes his hand, and then leaves.

Suave: Okay…we’re ready for tonight’s main event. This is what took place last week at Mayhem at Manchester…

REPLAY OF STARZ N. STRIPES vs. BIG OIL vs. MIKE THE MECHANIC FROM MAYHEM AT MANCHESTER
Starz and Mike the Mechanic double team Big Oil in the ring. Suddenly, Mike the Mechanic displays some massive martial arts moves and leaves Big Oil stunned. Mike winds up for a spinning heel kick. Texas Tex climbs on the apron and starts screaming at the referee. The referee stops the match and goes over to Tex. Tex whispers something in his ear. Suddenly, the referee waves his hand and disqualifies Mike the Mechanic. The crowd boos. Texas Tex gets on the microphone and tells Chuck Norris that ‘interference meant interference of any sort.’ Tex rationales that Norris taught Mike some nifty karate moves and that’s enough to have him DQ’d. There’s a huge shouting match in Big Oil’s corner between Texas Tex, the referee, and Mike Huckabee, who tries to hold Chuck Norris back……

……Big Oil comes over and pushes McCain off the apron into the barricade. Romney then turns on McCain bringing Joe Lieberman out. Lieberman wraps a camera cord around Romney’s neck and pulls him off McCain. Someone from the first row hands him a ‘McCain 2008’ placard. Lieberman takes it and whaps Romney in the back. McCain grabs a frying pan from someone and rings Romney’s bell with it. Then Joe goes to the ring. Big Oil looks dismissively at him. Lieberman stomps his foot three times and then surprises the big guy with the ‘Joe-stopper’ superkick. Big Oil down.. Starz crawls over and gets the three count and the win.

Suave: Can Big Oil turn it around tonight? Will Starz cruise to another victory? Can Mike the Mechanic put what happened last week behind him? Let’s see…

MATCH #3- BIG OIL w/Texas Tex and Mitt Romney vs. STARZ N. STRIPES w/ John McCain vs. MIKE THE MECHANIC w/Mike Huckabee and Chuck Norris in an American Patriot Three-Way Dance
No pre-match rant from Texas Tex tonight. Tex and Romney look all business. The bell rings and all three men meet in the middle and start brawling. Big Oil’s intensity level is up. He’s wrestling with a sense of urgency. Big Oil throws Mike the Mechanic through the ring ropes and faces off with Starz. The former Rookie Sensation pulls off a drop toe hold and starts working on Big Oil’s leg again. Outside, Mitt Romney stomps away at Mike the Mechanic which causes Chuck Norris to come over. However, Texas Tex grabs a microphone and tells Norris he’s still barred from interfering in the match. Meanwhile, Mitt takes a steel-folding chair and whaps Mike the Mechanic. Mike Huckabee then swipes the chair and chases Romney around the ring. In the ring, Starz tries to slap on the figure four leg lock but Big Oil shoves him into the corner. Both men again throw punches back and forth as they move along the ropes. Romney grabs another chair and tries to slip it to Big Oil. This time, John McCain grabs the chair and both he and Romney fight over it.

Mike the Mechanic tries to pull himself up outside and get back into the ring. Texas Tex takes his giant money belt off and blasts Mike with it. Chuck Norris can’t take anymore and sidekicks Texas Tex. Then he takes Tex’s money belt and whips him with it. Romney, still grappling with McCain over the chair, calls out to the referee. The ref sees Norris throw Tex over the barricade into the crowd and immediately DQ’s Mike the Mechanic. Again, Mike Huckabee and Norris vehemently protest. In the ring, Starz N. Stripes gets occasional moments of offense on Big Oil. But tonight, the big guy is determined to cut Starz off when he gets any head of steam going. Starz goes for the flying elbow but Big Oil just catches him. Big Oil lifts him up and crotches Starz on the top rope and springboards off the corner turnbuckle into a drop kick. Suave: “THAT’S A HIGH RISK MOVE FROM A MAN OVER SIX FOOT ELEVEN INCH TALL!” Big Oil goes for the Oklahoma City Driller but Starz escapes. Romney sneaks up from behind and kills Starz with a chairshot to the back. Starz down. Big Oil hits Oklahoma City Driller. Cover. Match.

Suave: Big Oil and Mitt Romney get a huge win here at Michigan Madness! Next week! PCW Weapons of Mass Political Destruction- live at Ol’ Man Hanson’s barn in Chelsea, Michigan. We’ll see you next week!

Are Obama’s Critics ‘Dumb?’ Has Newsweek Gone ‘Fox News’? PCW Extreme Political TV

PCW Extreme Political TV
Winter Sports Ice Arena
Willow Grove, PA
Monday January 11th, 2012
Host: Johnny Suave

MATCH #1- joined in progress.
PCW Tag Team Title Match
‘The Self Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D) © vs. John and Ronnie Walker

This is a rematch from last Thursday when Big Union obliterated the Walker Brothers and then offered them a rematch.

Last week:
Big Labor cuts a disingenuous heel promo about how, as the Self Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class, he hated to deliver the Scabbuster to a fellow middle class member.  Of course, if the Walkers were part of a union- that class A, asskicking, they just received would never had happened.  Big Labor says he’ll give Walkers a rematch any time, anywhere.

Big Labor lays out Ronnie Walker with a Scabbuster and then turns to John Walker and smiles.  He lifts Ronnie up a second time and hits him with a second Scabbuster.

Suave: “JUST PIN HIM ALREADY!”

Big Labor makes the cover…1…2…NO!  Big Labor pulls Ronnie up at the last second.   He calls for a microphone and tells the Walkers they showed some guts in showing up here to get their ass handed to them a second time.  Big Labor tells John to pledge his allegience to the true Savior of the Middle Class…

Suave: “That’s Self Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class.”

…or else he’ll spike his brother a third time.  John turns to the crowd for help.

Big Labor: “You don’t put your faith in the hands of some rabbling scabs.  You put your faith in me.”

John is about to answer when…

Charlie Blackwell (American Heartland Coalition) 
HT: 6′ 4″  WT: 215 HOME: New Braunfels, TX
FIN: Tazzmission (Katahajime)
MGR: Kenzie Blackwell

Mike the Mechanic (American Heartland Coalition)
HT: 5’10”  WT: 202  HOME: Cleveland, OH
FIN: Jumper Cables
MGR: Tequila Sheila

Bobby Bare‘s ‘Pour Me Another Tequila, Sheila’ plays as Tequila Sheila leads Blackwell and his Les Miserables along with Mike the Mechanic hit the ring to battle Big Union.  Sheila hands Mike the Mechanic the jumper cables and he knocks out James the Jeep Worker (D) with them.

Blackwell ducks a right hand by Big Labor and puts him in the Katahajime.

Suave: “BLACKWELL’S CHOKING OUT BIG LABOR!”

Down comes the California Teacher’s Union…

’The Foul Pole’ Andy Golatta (D)
HT: 6’5″  WT: 245, HOME: Warsaw, Poland
FIN: Foul Pole
MGR: Gov. Jerry Brown

Malibu Dusty (D)
HT: 5’9, WT: 195  HOME: Bakersfield, CA
FIN: Picket Line
MGR: Gov. Jerry Brown

…but they’re intercepted by the Tea Party…

Average Joe
HT: 6′ 2″  WT: 220, HOME: Defiance, OH
FIN: Average Slam

NRA
HT: 6′ 2″  WT: 269, HOME: Richmond, IN
FIN: Gun Rack (modified torture rack)

‘Tin Cup’ Ray McAvay
HT: 6′ 2″  WT: 185, HOME: Salome, TX
FIN: Seven-Iron
MGR: Tromeo and Dr. Molly Greenwald

…The Tea Party brawls with the CTU until…

Occupy Wall Street (D)
Nate
HT: 5′ 10″  WT: 190  HOME: Minneapolis, MN

Shane
HT: 6′ 1″  WT: 185  HOME: Newark, NJ

Adam
HT: 6’0″  WT: 200  HOME: New York City, NY

…shows up…the referee for their scheduled match appears and clears out the ring.

MATCH #2- Six Man Tag Team Match
The Tea Party (R) vs. Occupy Wall Street (D)

[...Average Joe  rolls onto Nate connecting with a knee. NRA tags in McAvay. McAvay rolls onto Nate connecting with a knee. Nate gets up. Nate springboard DDT's McAvay onto the mat!  Nate locks McAvay in the Occupy Grapevine submission.  The referee checks for a tap out. ... ... McAvay is fighting the hold.  Blackwell in the ring with a double axe handle and Nate breaks the hold.  Nate sends McAvay out of the ring.  McAvay is in the wrong part of town as Shane swings a Steel chair and blasts him with it.  McAvay is bleeding as a result.  Nate does a handspring and hits McAvay with a bodyblock, what a move!  McAvay with a Salome suplex on Nate that drives him to the floor.  McAvay bites Nate's arm. ]

Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”

[Back in the ring, McAvay hits the cobra clutch suplex.   He follows with an arm wrench and Nate is in trouble.  McAvay with a frog splash on Nate.  He picks Nate up and hits a stomachbreaker.  Tromeo tells McAvay to finish him off and throws him the seven iron.  *WHACK*  Seven iron shot on Nate! McAvay covers...1 ...2 ...3 ]

WINNER: The Tea Party @ 16:06

Leader of the PCW Executive Committee Harry Reid (D-NV) charges down the ramp with the Democrats in tow and they attack the Tea Party.   O’Beck Bahama, PCW Television Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism, Big Union, The CTU, Axel Rodd, ’New Age Sensitive Guy’ Blaine Thomas-Taylor obliterate the Tea Partiers.

Finally, the Republicans respond in kind and send their wrestlers to the ring.  PCW Security tries to sort it all out as PCW goes to commercial.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

BACKSTAGE
PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein reports that Jon Huntsman (R-UT) is dropping out of the Republican race to challenge PCW CEO Barack Obama in November.

Huntsman: “This race had degenerated into an onslaught of negative and personal attacks not worthy of PCW and not worthy of this critical time in American history.”

Huntsman endorsed the Massachusetts Redblood Mitt Romney (R-UT) and then took a shot at current PCW CEO Barack Obama (D-IL) for engaging in “class warfare” and added that he felt it contributed to the divisiveness in PCW.

This leaves five main contenders left in the race to be the Republican to challenge PCW CEO Obama (D-IL):

Newt Gingrich (R-GA)
Mitt Romney (R-MA)
Rick Santorum (R-PA)
Ron Paul (R-TX)
Rick Perry (R-TX)

Suave: “Last week, Valora Salinas finally got her wish- a title match against PCW Champion Daniel-San (I) which will take place this Saturday at South Carolina Slaughter.  Here’s how it came about.”

Last Thursday on PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN
Daniel-San: “All she wants is a chance at the PCW title.  And as the PCW Champion, I’m willing to give her a shot.”

Reid and Pelosi are stunned.  Daniel-San sets the match for next Saturday’s PCW South Carolina Slaughter show and says “may the best man…or woman win.”  Valora escapes from Big Labor and Chism and low bridges both men.  Reid and Pelosi run for it.

In the ring, Daniel-San soaks up the crowd’s applause- not seeing that John Creese and the Cobra Conservatives are sneaking up on him.  Creese signals his gang and they attack Daniel-San.  The Cobra Cons deliver a vicious beatdown of the PCW Champion until Valora hits the ring and makes the save.

PCW Champion Daniel-San (I) talks with Woodward Bernstein.  He explains that the reason he is giving Valora a title match is because he’s obligated to defend the title and she deserves as much as anyone else.    Mrs. Miyagi adds that he’s not going to take her lightly before getting cut off by the champion.  Daniel-San then adds that Valora has won titles before and it’s time to see just how she’ll handle a big time match.

Bernstein then asks about the sneak attack on him last week by John Creese and the Cobra Cons.  Daniel-San evades answering the question and walks away leaving Mrs. Miyagi puzzled.

Suave: “That was weird.  And totally out of character for Daniel-San.  What’s going on?”

MATCH #3- PCW Television Title #1 Contender’s Match w/Special Referee: ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) and Special Enforcer: ‘The Japanese SuperDestroyer’ Yamamoto Tanaka (D)
O’Beck Bahama (D) vs. New Age Sensitive Guy Blaine Thomas-Taylor (D)

The match is delay when Chism grabs the microphone from ring announcer Kimber Marshall and rants about the fact that he holds a title but O’Beck Bahama is considered the Democrat’s number one wrestler.  Chism says he’s getting tired of being disrespected and demands that Bahama relinquish his #1 slot to him.

Bahama, of course, tells Chism to stick it in his ear.  Chism attacks Bahama while ‘New Age Sensitive Guy’ Blaine Thomas-Taylor tries to play peacemaker.  Thomas-Taylor gets a Hollywood Blockbuster from Chism for his troubles.

Then Tanaka attacks both Chism and Bahama and there’s a three way brawl in the ring.  Finally, PCW Executive Committee Chief Harry Reid (D-NV) and former PCW Competition Committee Chief Nancy Pelosi (D-NV) rush down to the ring to separate the three.

Suave: “There is no love lost between Chism and Bahama or Tanaka.  None at all.  Chism’s responsible for costing both Bahama and Tanaka the PCW title at one time or the other.”

Finally, PCW Security hits the ring and tears Tanaka, Bahama, and Chism away from each other.

Suave: “For all the stuff about the Republicans squabbling, don’t forget that the Democrats have their loony wing as well that doesn’t get along with the others.”

Suave references the Andrew Sullivan article in Newsweek  which has on the cover this week the caption “Why are Obama’s critics so dumb?”  and then turns it over to Steve Hunter for a new feature on PCW…

Steve Hunter’s Three Sentence Political Commentary- because three sentences is all you need to get your point across.

TOPIC: Andrew Sullivan’s Newsweek article

Sullivan’s article in Newsweek is thoughtful and well worth the read.  The same can’t be said for the idiotic caption on the cover that could have come from the editorial department of MSNBC.  Really Newsweek, I thought only Fox did stupid stuff like this…allegedly.

BACKSTAGE
Snooki aka Nicole Polizzi of Jersey Shore fame tells PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein that Donald Trump should be the next President of the United States.

Snooki: “I thought Trump was gonna run.  But he’s not, right? I would endorse him and vote for him.”

Snooki continued to ramble on until PCW Women’s Champion Valora Salinas (I) ran in and decked her with a steel chairshot.

Bernstein: “Thanks…I think.”

COMMERCIAL BREAK

MAIN EVENT:
‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R) w/’The Massachusetts Redblood’ Mitt Romney (R-MA)
Texas Jack w/Rick Perry (R-TX)
Jim Schmidt w/Ron Paul (R-TX)
The Right Rev. Randy Richardson w/Rick Santorum (R-PA)
K-Roy w/Newt Gingrich (R-GA)

Richardson, urged on by Santorum, starts the match on fire and nearly eliminates K-Roy right out of the box.

Schmidt is sluggish from the get-go and ends up being the first one eliminated.  Not a good night for the Ron Paul-ites in the audience.

After Richardson’s hot start, it’s Texas Jack who gets it in gear for the first time in months and starts to kick serious ass all over the ring.   He hooks up with K-Roy and they brawl from one side of the ring to the other.

Like Mitt Romney, ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott plays it cool and stays out of trouble for the most part. 

Richardson runs out of gas and gets tossed by K-Roy.  Newt Gingrich cheers while Rick Santorum does not look pleased.

Towards the end of the match, Romney is talking with Johnny Suave at ringside and calls Gingrich super PAC flick the ‘biggest hoax since Bigfoot.  Then Romney calls ‘McCain-Feingold a disaster.  Suave then reminds Mitt that McCain is his biggest, high profile endorsement and sure enough, McCain comes out.

In the end, Kevin Scott gets distracted and allows K-Roy to push him over the top rope and out of the match.

McCain and Romney talk as they head to the back.  Scott is not pleased.

Down to K-Roy vs. Texas Jack; Newt vs. Perry.

Texas Jack on his game but K-Roy is even more sharp tonight.   Texas Jack misses a Texas Lariat and K-Roy hits a K-Bomb and makes the cover.  Newt jumps in the ring and assists the referee in making a proper 1-2-3 and K-Roy wins the match.

Winner: K-Roy @ 11:26

Suave: “Not the greatest night for Romney.  Newt gets a little momentum headed into Saturday’s match at South Carolina Slaughter.   We’ll see you Thursday night for PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN.”

Huntsman (R-UT) to Drop Out: PCW Update

CNN Political Ticker- Huntsman to Drop Out Monday
NY Times Caucus- Huntsman Says He’s Quitting GOP Race
Instapundit- Jon Huntsman Says He’s Out of Race
Mediaite- Huntsman to Drop Out of GOP Race Tomorrow

This leaves five main contenders left in the race to be the Republican to challenge current PCW CEO Barack Obama (D-IL):

Newt Gingrich (R-GA)
Mitt Romney (R-MA)
Rick Santorum (R-PA)
Ron Paul (R-TX)
Rick Perry (R-TX)

Saturday’s PCW South Carolina Slaughter may be the final hurdle for front runner Mitt Romney.

And it may be the reconfirmation of Romney’s representative, former PCW Champion ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R), as the Republican’s number one wrestler headed into the fall.  Can Scott hold off Texas Jack (Rick Perry), Jim Schmidt (Ron Paul), The Right Rev. Randy Richardson (Rick Santorum), and K-Roy (Newt Gingrich) and separate himself from the rest of the Republican wrestlers?

And just who will Scott face for the title?  Will it be the current PCW Champion Daniel-San (I)?  Will it be the Democrats current #1 wrestler, and former PCW Champion, O’Beck Bahama (D)?

With Huntsman now out of the race, will we be able to continue without…the Huntsman girls?

We’ll see what the fall out will be from Huntsman’s departure tomorrow night on PCW Extreme Political TV.