12/7-PCW Extreme Political TV-Live from Alaska: Coleman v. Franken III Previewed, Sarah Palin, TV Title Match, #1 Contender Match

LAST TIME ON PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV
-Former PCW Champion Starz N. Stripes quit the American Patriots. The Raving Rednecks Locke and Loade try to talk him into staying. Then they take the case to PCW CEO’s George W’s aide de camp- Dick. Dick tells the Raving Rednecks that they need to focus on ‘actually winning a big match for once’ and dismisses them.

*
-Little Paulie, Big Paulie aka…The American Bikers, make their return to PCW and win a tag team 3-way dance over the Green World Order and Raving Rednecks Locke and Loade (American Patriots). After the match, Locke and Loade leave the American Patriots in frustration.
*

-Dr. Bill cuts a promo. He blames his broken ankle on PCW Television champion ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido slapping the ankle lock on him and not letting go. Dr. Bill vows vengeance and introduces his new protégée- SNAFU. Dr. Bill promises to bring out the inner hardcore extreme wrecking machine within him by making SNAFU watch old ECW DVD’s of the ‘homicidal, suicidal, genocidal’ hardcore icon Sabu.
*

-PCW CEO-designate Barack Obama (Progressive Alliance) comes out. He first thanks retiring ‘The American Screamer’ Howard Dean for his service to the Progressive Alliance. Then he introduces the new PCW Champion O’Beck Bahama. Obama announces that former PCW Champion ‘Not Just Unbearable, Not Just Intolerable, I am’ Justin Sufferable will take over being Bahama’s manager. Finally, Obama tries to bring out PCW Television Champion ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido but he doesn’t appear. Escondido finally staggers out and Domination Inc. follows right behind. Big Oil Oklahoma Drillers Escondido on the floor. ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann demands a title shot for Quadruple R or else they’ll put Escondido through a table. Obama tells McMann that Quadruple R has to become the number contender before he gets a title shot. McMann doesn’t like the answer so he has Big Oil drive Escondido threw the table. Domination Inc. threatens to do the same with Bahama and leave.
*

-American Patriot Norm Coleman and Al Franken of the Progressive Alliance) meet again in a rematch from PCW Extreme Election Night 2008. Franken beats Coleman from pillar to post but Coleman is able to flip Franken and steal the pin.

PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV- December 7th from Juneau, Alaska

PCW OVERVIEW (for the uninitiated)

HOST: Johnny Suave

Crowd: “PCW…PCW…PCW! Suave: WELCOME TO P-C-W! We are in Juneau, Alaska as the PCW Roadshow Across America goes north of the lower 48. As you now know, Alaskan Pitbull Sarah Palin did NOT appear on TNA Impact on Thursday night- an imposter did. Surprise…surprise…surprise. The Alaskan Pitbull is here tonight and she will be in the corner of a debuting wrestler- Kalee Jones- the Eskimo Queen. Also on the card: ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido defends the PCW Television Title and our main event is a good one. It’ll be former PCW Champion Starz N. Stripes against Quadruple R of Domination Inc. for the number one contender’s spot for the PCW title.”

FUBAR, dressed like a mechanic, rolls a battery charger down to the ring. Suave: “Hey! That’s FUBAR.” Camera closes in on name tag. It says Dave. Suave: “Hold on. Dave? That’s Dave…Dave the Mechanic. FUBAR’s changed gimmicks and gotten himself a job at a body shop.”

MATCH #1: PCW TELEVISION TITLE MATCH
‘No Frills’ CHRIS ESCONDIDO © (Progressive Alliance)
vs. DAVE the MECHANIC (Independent)
The bell rings and Escondido and Dave shake hands. They lock up. Dave gets the early advantage with an arm wrench. Escondido reverses and puts Dave in a hammerlock. Dave reverses again into his own hammerlock. Escondido reverses again. Headlock and an arm wrench. Chain wrestling back and forth. Escondido goes to the ropes. Dave kicks to the gut. Escondido ducks a clothesline but walks right into a stunner for a quick cover. Escondido slides out of the ring. Dave follows. Escondido bounces Dave’s head on the announcers table. Tilt a whirl headscissors throws Dave into the steel guardrail. Escondido rolls Dave back in. Escondido hits a double axe handle off the top rope. Escondido takes Dave to the canvas with a headlock takedown. Dave slips out and bails again. Escondido climbs the top turnbuckle and goes for a flying elbow off the top. Dave is handed a Playstation 2 game console and blasts Escondido in the stomach with it. Dave throws the Playstation 2 down and DDT’s Escondido on it. Suave: “Okay. Apparently, somebody didn’t want his Playstation 2 anymore.”

*

Dave rolls Escondido back into the ring. Dave charges but Escondido lifts him into the top turnbuckle. Escondido connects a huge boot to the head and sends Dave outside. Dave staggers up. Escondido dives between the ring ropes and torpedos Dave. Escondido pounds the head of Dave. Escondido goes for a sleeper. Dave backs him into the ring post and escapes. Escondido catches Dave coming in with a huge slam on the floor. Dave rolled back in the ring. Escondido with an elbow from the top rope. Covers for two count. Neckbreaker. Escondido drops an elbow and gets another two count. Body slam. Knee lift to the jaw. 1…2…Dave kicks out. Snapmare by Escondido followed by a chin lock. Dave up, but Escondido hits a knee to the gut. Escondido follows up with bulldog. He rolls back and… Suave: “ANKLE LOCK! ANKLE LOCK!” Dave fights it and tries to pull his way to the ropes. Run in by SNAFU and he blasts Escondido with a chair. Suave: “IT’S SNAFU AND DR. BILL!”
*
SNAFU whiffs on a second chair shot. Escondido takes him down and puts SNAFU in the ankle lock. Suave: “ANKLE LOCK! ANKLE LOCK!” SNAFU immediately taps out and pounds the ring canvas. Dr. Bill limps up to the ring edge, holding his crutches with one hand. Suave: “That’s really not a good idea! *WHACK* HOLY CRAP! DR. BILL JUST CRACKED ESCONDIDO OVER THE HEAD WITH HIS CRUTCH!” Escondido stumbles back. Then his head clears and he sees Dr. Bill. Dr. Bill’s eyes widen. Escondido grabs him and flips Dr. Bill over the top rope. Then he grabs his good ankle and puts him in an ankle lock. Suave: “ANKLE LOCK! ANKLE LOCK! ANKLE LOCK!” Dr. Bill pounds the mat with his fists. SNAFU sees him…and something changes. He sets a chair up. He whips himself against the ropes, jumps from the chair onto the top rope, and then jumps back and nearly takes Escondido’s head off. Escondido lands flat on his back. Dr. Bill grabs his good ankle in pain. SNAFU folds the chair and hits the Arabian Facebuster on Escondido.

WINNER: NO ONE

Nurse Nellie and the PCW Clean Up Crew rush out to attend to Dr. Bill. Suave: “He may have broken his other ankle.”

PCW NEWS WITH INVESTIGATIVE REPORTER WOODWARD BERNSTEIN
Domination Inc. Press Release
Bernstein: “This big news this week was Domination Inc. announcement that Extreme Attorneys Felcher and Felcher have been brought into the corporation as counsel. “Felcher and Felcher have extensive experience in Political Championship Wrestling and will be a great asset in our drive to become the elite group in PCW,” Domination Inc. CEO ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann said. “As we continue to stockpile the best and brightest talent in PCW, it only enhances our ability to reach our goals.”

Coleman and Franken Sign for Third Match
REPLAY: 11/25 PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV- END OF NORM COLEMAN/AL FRANKEN MATCH

Franken picks Coleman up to the top turnbuckle. Superplex from the top rope. Cover 1…2…NO! Coleman’s foot is on the ropes. Franken getting a little frustrated. He yanks Coleman back in the ring and climbs up the top turnbuckle. Swanton splash by Franken! ONE… TWO…NO! Suave: “I thought Franken got him. But Coleman kicks out just in time.” Franken sets up for the Piledriver, but Coleman rolls through! Franken takes Coleman up top. Coleman fights off Franken. Half Nelson Suplex by Franken! Another cover. 1…2…again, Coleman kicks out. Franken slams his fist into the canvas. Small package by Franken. Suave: “FRANKEN ROLLS HIM UP. 1…2…3-NO! COLEMAN ROLLED HIM OVER! 1…2…3! HE’S DONE IT!

*

WINNER: NORM COLEMAN

*

Franken stands in middle of the ring in complete disbelief. Suave: “FRANKEN CAN’T BELIEVE IT! HE HAD HIM!” Franken stands in the ring with his arms outstretched. Suave: “HE COMPLETELY HAD HIM! FRANKEN HAD HIM PINNED BUT SOMEHOW, COLEMAN ROLLED FRANKEN OVER AND HE GETS THE WIN!” Franken looks over at Coleman. Coleman’s celebrating. An enraged Franken hits Coleman from behind and then throws him head first into the corner turnbuckle. He picks up the chair and jams it into the back of Coleman’s left knee. Coleman falls backward to the canvas. Suave: “FRANKEN’S SNAPPED! HE’S PISSED AND NOW SLAMMING THAT STEEL CHAIR INTO COLEMAN’S KNEE!” Three shots in a row. Tim Pawlenty hits the ring to stop him. Franken blasts him with the chair and sends Pawlenty flying across the ring. Franken throws the chair down and puts Coleman’s leg through it. Suave: “WHAT IS HE DOING? FRANKEN CLIMBING TO THE TURNBUCKLE!” Franken jumps onto the chair. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! FRANKEN’S TRYING TO SNAP HIS LEG LIKE A TWIG!” Coleman grabs his knee and violently writhes in pain. Franken grabs the leg and spins. Coleman: AGGGGGHHHH! Suave: “FIGURE-FOUR! FIGURE FOUR!” Coleman slams the mat with his hands. Suave: “HE’S TRYING TO CRIPPLE COLEMAN…HERE COMES THE RIGHT WING BRIGADIERS!” Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Laura Ingraham, and Ann Coulter hit the ring. Franken drops the hold and slides out of the ring. Suave: “TOO LATE, THOUGH. THE DAMAGE MAY ALREADY HAVE BEEN DONE!”

Bernstein: “This week, PCW announced that the final match in what will be a trilogy has been signed for December 18th in Minneapolis at PCW Completely Deranged. If the first two encounters took political extreme to a different level, what’s going to happen when Coleman and Franken step into a steel cage to finish off their feud with an extreme ladder match? The match has been signed according to PCW CEO-designate Barack Obama who worked with the PCW competition committee and current PCW CEO George W to put the match together. Finally, ‘Sarah Palin’ made her appearance on TNA.”

Sarah Palin on TNA -411 Mania’s Review with Matt Short and Chris Lansdell

“Palin” arrives

Lansdell: Oh **** it’s not even a GOOD lookalike

Short: They should have gotten the chick from the Palin porn.

Lansdell: Wait, that ISN’T the chick from the porno? Boo-urns. I guess Tina Fey was busy too

Short: Tina Fey has to give some pointers to the SNL writing staff to make it even less funny.

Lansdell: Lazy Sunday was the last good thing they did. Snack Attack mutha*bleep*!

*

More Palin crappery

Short: God **** this sucks.

Lansdell: Where the **** is she supposed to be from?

Short: Apparently Alaska is in Wisconsin now.

Lansdell: Did they not see the complete wreck WWE made when they played politics?

Short: Evidently seeing them have the real presidental candidates flop on live TV wasn’t enough to convince them to not have an imitator.

Lansdell: Not to mention Clinton vs Obama on Raw months ago.

Short: Or Kennedy’s little segment from Raw. Let’s face it, wrestling should stay as far away from politics as possible.

Lansdell: It’s a real shame because that useless nonsense does nothing for the Beautiful People and has hurt an otherwise good show. Take that time and use it on the six-man!

*
MATCH #2: EMILY LIST (Progressive Alliance) vs. KALEE JONES- The Eskimo Queen w/Sarah Palin (American Patriots)
Crowd: “SER-RAH PAY-LIN! clap, clap clap-clap-clap, SER-RAH PAY-LIN! clap, clap clap-clap-clap…” Suave: “The Alaskan Pitbull back home here in Alaska to unveil her new protegee, Kalee Jones.” Jones towers over List. Tie up leads to a trip by List. She mounts Kalee but Kalee rolls over. Suave: “CAT FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT~! CAT FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT~!” Go-behind by List. Reverse by Jones into a headlock. Headlock takeover follows. Back to their feet, the Eskimo Queen off the ropes with a shoulderblock. Two legdrops and Kalee covers. List kicks out at one. European uppercut and an Alaskan kick by Kalee Jones. Irish whip into the corner leads to a clothesline. Shoulderblocks in the corner but List gets a sunset flip for a one count. Jones quickly regains control. She rams List’s head into the turnbuckle. Kicks and elbows in the corner. List fires back with punches & kicks. Jones breaks out a dropkick. Hair mare followed by a rear naked choke by Jones. Jones lifts List up and slams her face first into the canvas. Suave: “I believe they call that the Alaskan Pieface.” Jones covers. 1…2…3.

WINNER: KALEE JONES- The Eskimo Queen

*
The Alaskan Pitbull Sarah Palin in the ring and she holds up Kalee’s arm in victory. List is furious and pushes Palin from behind. Jones picks List up and Alaskan Piefaces her a second time. The Angry Left Wing Bloggers- Paul Krugman, Daily Kos, Eric Alterman, Media Matters for America, News Hounds led by Arianna Huffington run in. Suave: “They’ve got Palin and Jones surrounded!” Huffington smirks at the edge of the ring. Huffington: “You are a dangerous person, Sarah Palin. And we’re going to put a stop to you right now.” Krugman charges- he gets Alaskan Piefaced by Kalee Jones. News Hounds runs at Palin… *WHACK* …and eats a well-placed hockey stick in the ear by Palin. *WHACK* Media Matters goes down. Jones Alaskan Piefaces Eric Alterman. Daily Kos gets caught in no man’s land. He’s too far away from the ropes and too close to Palin. He puts his hands up to beg off. Crowd: “SARAH’S GOING TO KILL YOU! clap, clap clap-clap-clap, SARAH’S GOING TO KILL YOU! clap, clap clap-clap-clap. Daily Kos turns to flee. Palin uppercuts with the hockey stick and belts Daily Kos in the groin. Suave: “Ow. And I mean, seriously. Ow.” Daily Kos faints in the ring. Huffington’s smirk is gone. Especially when Palin points the hockey stick at her. Huffington tries to run, Palin grabs her and drags her by the hair kick and screaming into the ring. Palin throws her to Jones. Jones lifts Huffington and Alaskan Piefaces her. Crowd: “PCW…PCW!” Suave: “Well. Apparently Sarah Palin isn’t going away anytime soon. In fact, Saxby Chambliss was glad she was at a PCW House show in Georgia the other night…”

REPLAY: SAXBY CHAMBLISS w/ John McCain (American Patriots) vs. JIM MARTIN (Progressive Alliance) at PCW HOUSE SHOW in CARTERSVILLE, GA
Crowd: “PCW!…PCW!” Chambliss in control with an armbar on Martin. Kicks by Chambliss. Northern Lights Suplex. Martin rolls and manages to get to the ropes. Chambliss backs off and Martin scoots under the ropes. He looks to the back for help.

*
A Barack Obama video begins to play: Obama’s voice: “Hey, Jim. Sorry I couldn’t be there tonight. Good luck and…take it to him!” Suave: “Guess he’s not coming, eh?” Martin seems a little put off. Chambliss pulls him back into the ring and rolls him up. 1…2…no. Martin kicks out. Slingshot drapes Martin’s throat on the top rope. Again, Chambliss covers. Again, 2 count.

*
The music of Fleetwood Mac’s “Don’t Stop” suddenly starts. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! IS THAT WHO I THINK IT IS?” The crowd explodes. A spotlight points out a plaid shirted man with a Singapore cane and a cup of mocha. Next to him is a white haired gentlemen in a suit. Suave: “IT’S HIM! HE’S HERE! HE’S BACK!” Sununu can’t believe it. Suave: “HE’S BACK! IT’S THE TREE HUGGIN’, MOCHA CHUGGIN’, TOBACCO COMPANY BUGGIN’ ALPHA MALE AND ENVIROMENTAL EXTREME HARDCORE ICON- AL GORE! AND HE’S WITH BILL CLINTON!” The crowd sings the chorus “Don’t stop, thinking about tomorrow.” Clinton watches impatiently as Gore holds up his mocha, inside an environmentally friendly biodegradable container of course, and chugs it down. Then he spews it out of his mouth into the crowd and then crushes the paper container on his forehead in a manly fashion. Suave: “HE’S BACK HERE IN PCW!” Clinton starts to run down but the Environmental Extreme Hardcore Icon walks down the steps to the main floor. Clinton has to turn around and go back. At the bottom of the steps, Gore pulls out another container of mocha, guzzles it down, spews it into the crowd, and then smashes the container on his forehead while Clinton stews.

*
In the ring, Martin is looking out at Clinton and Gore wading through the main floor crowd to the bar area. Martin is looking for any help. Gore suddenly stops and Clinton has to double back to him. Gore climbs up on the bar, pulls out yet another cup of mocha, guzzles that one down, spews it into the crowd, and then smashes the container on his forehead. Clinton’s itching to go. Gore throws down the container and finally heads to the ring. Clinton and Gore almost reach the ring and suddenly disappear. Suave: “Okay, what’s going on? It looks like someone or something tripped up Clinton and Gore as they were- SARAH PALIN! IT’S SARAH PALIN!” Gore, hacked off, turns to cane the person who tripped him and realizes it’s Sarah Palin. He’s ready to cane her but in the end doesn’t.

*
Martin’s distracted. Chambliss gets a chair and comes up behind Martin. *CLANG* Suave: “HOLY CRAP! HE NEVER SAW THAT ONE COMING!” Martin to the canvas. Chambliss covers. 1…2…3

WINNER: SAXBY CHAMBLISS

Former PCW Champion Starz N. Stripes comes out for his match all by himself.   Suave: “It’s a little shocking to hear him introduced as an independent. Starz N. Stripes was the American Patriots for a long, long time. And now, he faces off against the full Corporate force of Domination Inc. and Quadruple R.”

Domination Inc. appears next. Corporate Security D.B. Ruff and Connor Justice aka Rough Justice-2 former police officers fired from their jobs because of their rough and extreme methods of law enforcement lead the way. Next is Daisy Cutter-Bomb and PCW Women’s Champion Kathryn Randall Collins. PCW Tag Team Champs Big Oil w/Texas Tex and Kirk Walstreit- the guy with the man crush on Kirk Herbstreit, Felcher and Felcher- Corporate Counsel, Corporate Enforcer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, and CFO Gordon Guyko follow. Bradley Scott Wilson Esq. climbs in the ring and takes the microphone away from the ring announcer. Wilson: “Domination Inc’s mission statement is simple: Domination Inc. will facilitate the complete and total takeover of PCW by any and all means available. Please welcome ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann!”

The crowd boos as Mr. McMann strolls out. Suave: “I feel for Starz right now. It’s going to be ten versus one.” Quadruple R comes out next to even more passionate boos. Suave: “Quadruple R has had a taste of the PCW title in the past. Now, he wants the whole pie. Can he keep himself under control? This is our main event- Starz N. Stripes against Quadruple R to become the new number one contender for the PCW Title.”

MATCH #3- #1 Contender for the PCW Title
STARZ N. STRIPES (Independent)
vs. QUADRUPLE R w/Domination Inc. (Domination Inc.)
The bell rings. Suave: “HERE WE GO! QUADRUPLE R RACES OUT AND WILDLY SWINGS AND MISSES STARZ!” Crowd: “**** him up Star-rzzz, **** him up! clap-clap”

*
Quadruple R again rushes at Starz. Starz oles him and quickly moves away from the Domination Inc. corner of the ring. Suave: “This is just not fair. One man against an organization.” McMann yells at Quadruple R to calm down and keep focus. Suave: “Quadruple R’s emotions can’t get the best of him, though.” Quad R shoots McMann a ‘look’ and again aggressively moves forward. They lock up for the first time. Quadruple R tries to drive him into the Domination Inc’s corner. Starz whips around and whips Quad R into the corner. Quad R slams his hand against the ring ropes in anger. Quad again charges and eats a boot. Starz suplexes him. Quad R quickly back up and gets arm dragged right back down. Again, Quad R up and again he’s arm dragged down. Again, Quad R shoots up and charges. A third arm drag takedown sends Quad R into a tizzy. He rolls out of the ring and pounds the ring in frustration.

Mr. McMann confers with Big Oil, Kirk Walstreit, Kathryn Randall Collins and Daisy Cutter-Bomb. Then they redeploy. Big Oil goes to one corner. Kirk Walstreit to another. Daisy Cutter-Bomb to a third corner. KRC stays with Mr. McMann. Starz’s gaze flits from corner to corner to corner. Quadruple R back on the ring edge. Suave: “Starz is essentially surrounded now.”

BACKSTAGE
Alaskan Sarah Palin goes to PCW CEO George W’s office. W and Dick are watching the action. Palin: “Guys, we can’t let this happen. Starz N. Stripes was a member of the American Patriots for over three years.” Dick: “He made his bed; he’ll have to sleep in it.”

Quad R back in the ring. Starz stays very close to middle. Quad R him circles like a shark measuring his prey. They lock up again. Quad R gets the leverage and pushes him into Big Oil’s corner. Big Oil clubs Starz in the back and drives him down on the mat. Quad R attacks. Kicks to the gut. Kicks to the leg. The crowd again boos. Big Oil grabs Starz’s legs and crotches him on the steel ring post. Big Oil elbow drop on Starz’s leg. *CLANG* Suave: “SOMETHING JUST HAPPENED!” PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl Tessa Martin stands over Daisy Cutter-Bomb holding an oversized pizza box. Suave: “SHE’S BACK! IT’S THE EXTREME PIZZA DELIVERY GIRL TESSA MARTIN!” Big Oil and Quad R continue to work over Starz. Kirk Walstreit and Kathryn Randall Collins respond. They converge on Tessa and back her against the ring post. Another run-in behind Walstreit. Suave: “IT’S THE AMERICAN TRUCKER AND AVERAGE JOE!” They attack Walstreit and take him out of play. Tessa and KRC face off. A finger pokes KRC’s shoulder from behind. She turns. *WHAP* Suave: “IT’S TEQUILA SHEILA! SHE JUST BLASTED KRC WITH HER BLENDER!” KRC spins around. *CLANG* Pizza Box shot finishes her off. Tequila Sheila and Tessa high five.

McMann angrily motions to Corporate Security, Rough Justice. They immediately makes a beeline for American Trucker, Average Joe, Tequila Sheila and Tessa Martin. Suave: “Oh, oh.”
Average Joe throws Tequila Sheila out of the way. Ruff tasers Average Joe. American Trucker moves the PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl Tessa Martin behind him. American Trucker swings at Justice. Justice ducks and tasers him. Suave: “HOLY CRAP!” Tessa jumps on Justice’s back and tries to choke him out. Tequila Sheila tries to hit Ruff with her blender. Ruff swats Sheila away. Then he tries to taser Tessa. Tessa jumps off and pushes Justice into Ruff. Pizza box. *CLANG* Justice down. Ruff hits Tessa with the taser. She’s down. Ruff backs Tequila Sheila against the ring post. Ruff goes to taser Tequila Sheila *WHACK* He’s down. Suave: “IT’S THE ALASKAN PITBULL SARAH PALIN!” The crowd’s standing now. Palin stands over Ruff with her hockey stick.

Mr. McMann: “PIN HIM! PIN HIM NOW!” Quad R pulls Starz out to the middle of the ring and covers. 1…2…no! Suave: “PALIN PULLED THE REF OFF! PALIN STOPPED THE COUNT!” Quad R is furious. He gets in the ref’s face and pushes him. McMann sends Whiskey Tango Foxtrot into the ring. Suave: “WATCH OUT!” Palin sees WTF in time and slides underneath the ring right into the grasp of Big Oil. Suave: “NO!” Palin’s trapped. Big Oil smiles. Then his face suddenly contorts in utter pain. Suave: “WHAT THE-…IT’S THE SIX FOOT TALL DEMOLITION MACHINE IN A SHORT SKIRT, DAWN McGILL!” McGill plants her stiletto heel right in Big Oil’s balls. Needless to say, Big Oil is capacitated. *SWACK* Suave: “SINGAPORE CANE SHOT!” Big Oil’s out. Texas Tex gets in her way. *SWACK* Texas Tex gets out of her way. McGill immediately marches towards McMann who’s in a bit of a spot missing his corporate security and corporate enforcer. *SWACK* Bradley Scott Wilson Esq. eliminated. *SWACK* Corporate Richard Emerson Brantley III eliminated. McMann: “WHISKEY!” Whiskey Tango Foxtrot spins around and sees McGill pointing the cane at McMann. Quad R covers Starz again. The referee is out of position again. Quad R jumps up and shoves the ref down. He points at Starz and goes to cover again. Suave: “This is probably it…one…two…NO!” The crowd explodes. Suave: “HE KICKED OUT! I DON’T BELIEVE IT! AFTER ALL THAT, STARZ N. STRIPES KICKED OUT!” Quad R snaps. He starts kicking away at Starz. Quad R out of the ring. Grabs chair. Slides back in. *CLANG* *CLANG* Suave: “QUADRUPLE R’S LOST IT! STARZ CAN’T DEFEND HIMSELF! WAIT! HERE COMES THE RAVING REDNECK LOCKE AND LOADE!” Locke and Loade hit the ring. Loade snatches the chair. *CLANG* Suave: “HOLY CRAP! THAT STOPPED QUADRUPLE R IN HIS TRACKS! THERE HE GOES! REDNECK 4-D DEATH BLAST…YES!” A quick look over to Mr. McMann’s corner. He’s cowering. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot is on his knees with his hands covering his privates. And Dawn McGill doesn’t look very happy. Suave: “LOCKE ROLLS STARZ N. STRIPES OVER ON QUADRUPLE R! ONE…TWO…THREE! YES!”

WINNER AND THE #1 CONTENDER FOR THE PCW TITLE: STARZ N. STRIPES

Crowd: “PCW…PCW…PCW!” Suave: “AN INCREDIBLE MAIN EVENT FROM JUNEAU, ALASKA! STARZ N. STRIPES DEFIES THE ODDS AND STANDS UP TO THE CORPORATE POWER OF DOMINATION INC. WITH THE HELP OF AVERAGE JOE, THE AMERICAN TRUCKER, TEQUILA SHEILA, PCW EXTREME PIZZA DELIVERY GIRL TESSA MARTIN, RAVING REDNECKS LOCKE AND LOADE, AND DAWN McGILL! SEE YOU NEXT WEEK ON PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV!

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