Grizzly Adam and Hunter the Hunter (SarahPAC) vs. A-Bomb and H-Bomb (McCain’s Marauders)/Code Pink (Progressive Alliance) vs. Mia Margarita (Domination Inc.)/Newt Tron Bomb and Incendiary Bomb (McCain’s Marauders) vs. The Drunken Luchadors/
TONIGHT’S EXTREME MARCH MAYHEM MATCHES ON PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV:
The quarterfinals of the Tag Team Tournament tonight at the Hobart Arena in Troy, OH:
#1 A. Tom Bomb and Hydrogen Bomb (McCain’s Marauders) vs.
#8 Grizzly Adam and Hunter the Hunter (SarahPAC)
#5 ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee and GreenPete (Green World Order) vs.
#13- SNAFU and DVD (Dr. Bill’s Island of Misfit Wrestlers)
The quarterfinals of the Women’s Tournament to be held tonight at Hobart Arena in Troy, OH:
#6- Daisy Cutter-Bomb (Domination Inc.) vs.
#14- Dr. Annabel Lecktor aka ‘Annabel the Cannibal’ w/Special FBI Agent Charlize Sterling
#7- ‘The Queen of All Media’ Opal Winfree (Progressive Alliance) vs.
#2- Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (SarahPac)
The quarterfinals of the Tag Team Tournament tonight at Ol’ Man Hanson’s Barn in Chelsea MI:
#11- Dixie Chucks: Chuck-mily and Chuck-atalie (Progressive Alliance) vs.
#3- Jack Schett and Bull Schett (Progressive Alliance)
#7- Newt Tron Bomb and Incendiary Bomb (McCain’s Marauders) vs.
#15- The Flyin’ Martini Brothers (Independent)
The quarterfinals of the Women’s Tournament to be held tonight at Ol’ Man Hanson’s Barn in Chelsea MI:
#1- Kathryn Randall Collins (Domination Inc.) vs.
#8- ‘Trailer Park Sweetheart’ Tanya Hardy (White Trash Posse)
#5- Code Pink (Progressive Alliance) vs.
#4- Mia Margarita (Domination Inc.)
PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV: March 17th from Hobart Arena in Troy, Ohio and Ol’ Man Hanson’s Barn in Chelsea, MI
HOSTS: Johnny Suave and his life size cardboard cut-out of Shania Twain
Crowd: “PCW!…PCW!…PCW!…PCW!…PCW!…PCW!…” Suave: “HELLO…AND WELCOME TO P-C-W!” A thunderous cheer follows. Crowd: “PCW!…PCW!…PCW!…” Suave: “I AM JOHNNY SUAVE. THIS HOT PIECE OF CARDBOARD IS SHANIA TWAIN! WE ARE AT THE HOBART ARENA IN TROY, OHIO. TONIGHT, PCW IS DOING SOMETHING A LITTLE DIFFERENT. BECAUSE OF THE EXTREME MARCH MAYHEM TOURNAMENTS WE’RE RUNNING, WE HAVE TWO SHOWS GOING ON AT THE SAME TIME! LET’S GO RIGHT TO THE ACTION!”
MATCH #1 AT THE HOBART ARENA (IN PROGRESS):
#8 GRIZZLY ADAM and HUNTER the HUNTER w/ ‘The Alaskan Pitbull Sarah Palin (SarahPAC) vs.
#1 A. TOM BOMB and HY DROGEN BOMB w/ ‘The Straight Shootin’ Maverick’ John McCain (McCain’s Marauders)
Suave: “A-Bomb in control right now.” A-Bomb with lefts on Hunter the Hunter. Whip into the ropes. Shoulderblock on Hunter. H-Bomb tags in and nails a Suplex. H-Bomb stomps away and then pulls Hunter up. Front face lock. Hunter low blows H-Bomb but is kept from tagging in Grizzly Adam after escaping. Overhead belly to belly on Hunter who rolls to his corner and tags Grizzly Adam in. He’s a house of fire on H-Bomb. H-Bomb has a kick caught. He tries the spin kick. Grizzly ducks and delivers the inverted DDT. Cover. 1…2 H-Bomb kicks out. H-Bomb misses a charge and rams the corner turnbuckle. Grizzly catches him backing up and hits a DDT. Again, he covers. A-Bomb in the ring and breaks it up at 2. Suave: “COULD WE SEE AN UPSET?” Hunter the Hunter comes in and punches away at A-Bomb. H-Bomb and Grizzly trade blows back and forth. Sarah Palin comes over and slides the bear trap in the corner. She then distracts A-Bomb. Hunter the Hunter pushes A-Bomb into the corner. *SNAP* Suave: “BEAR TRAP! BEAR TRAP! A-BOMB’S IN BIG TROUBLE NOW!” H-Bomb is doubleteamed by Hunter and Grizzly Adam. A-Bomb desperately tries to get the bear trap off his foot. John McCain comes over and tries to pry the trap apart. A-Bomb taps out. Suave: “THAT’S IT! HOLY CRAP! HUNTER THE HUNTER AND GRIZZLY ADAM PULL OFF A BIG TIME UPSET!”
WINNER: GRIZZLY ADAM and HUNTER the HUNTER
Suave: “So, the team from SarahPAC moves on to the semi-finals Sunday night where they’ll meet the winner of the #5 ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee and GreenPete (Green World Order) vs. #13- SNAFU and DVD (Dr. Bill’s Island of Misfit Wrestlers) match. It looks like we have a final in a match up at Ol’ Man Hanson’s Barn. Let’s go to our special announcers tonight, CBS’s Jim Nantz and Billy Packer.”
Nantz: “Thanks, Johnny. It’s a pleasure to be here tonight. Billy, we just saw a…very interesting match take place.” Packer: “First off, Jim. I can’t believe CBS brought me out of retirement to cover some…wrestling tournament. This is so beneath me. This is so beneath you. And besides, I don’t see anyone from the ACC here.” Nantz: “Well, let’s check out the end of our first match.”
REPLAY: END OF MATCH #1 AT OL’ MAN HANSON’S BARN
#5 CODE PINK (Progressive Alliance) vs.
#4 MIA MARGARITA (Domination Inc.)
Mia has Code Pink liplocked in the corner. Code Pink’s arms and leg slowly give way. Nantz: “Billy, a decisive win here for Mia Margarita. She certainly has a…distinctive finisher, wouldn’t you say?” Packer: “Jim, it’s nothing I can’t get on my hotel television at two in the morning. Is this really it? They’re not paying me enough to do this.” Packer gets up and leaves. Nantz: “Well, thanks Billy. It looks like the second match of the night is just about to start. Let’s go back to the ring.”
MATCH #2 AT OL’ MAN HANSON’S BARN
#7- NEWT TRON BOMB and INCENDIARY BOMB (McCain’s Marauders) vs.
#15- DRUNKEN LUCHADORS- THE FLYIN’ MARTINI BROTHERS (Independent)
The Martinis imbibe in their usual pre-match ritual. Both guzzle down a bottle of Jack Daniels and then break the bottle over their heads. Nantz: “Hmm. You don’t see that very often.” The bell rings. I-Bomb and Don Martini to start. I-Bomb full out charges at Don. Don stumbles to the left and I-Bomb eats the corner turnbuckle. Don with a wild left hand that misses by two miles. I-Bomb goes for a Suplex. Don falls through and accidently knees I-Bomb in the groin. Don staggers up but his head nails I-Bomb in the groin again. Nantz: “My notes state that the Martinis are PCW Legends, two time PCW Tag Team champions. I can see why with the trouble they’re giving the Bomb Brothers.” I-Bomb unleashes a right hand that sends Don into the ropes. Don shoots back out and trips- his head again connects with I-Bomb’s groin. Nantz: “Apparently, we have breaking news right outside. Let’s check it out and we’ll come right back to this exciting match.”
OL’ MAN HANSON’S YARD
Billy Packer grumbles as he goes to his car. Ol’ Man Hanson comes up toting his trusty BB gun. Ol’ Man Hanson: “HEY! I thought I told you whippersnappers not to park in my garden.” Packer’s car is an inch into the garden. Packer: “It’s not in your garden. Look.” Packer bends over to point to where the garden starts. *BLAM!* Packer: “AAARRGHHHH! YOU SHOT ME IN THE ASS!” Hanson: “You’re going to get another one if you don’t get your ass out of here right away.” Whimpering, Packer gets into his car and makes haste away from Ol’ Man Hanson’s barn.
Back to the match…
Nantz: “Oooh. Ow. It appears that guy shot Billy Packer in his posterior. That…um…well, folks, that can’t feel good. Back to the action now.” N-Bomb in and tries to lock up with Dan Martini. Dan belches in his face and breaks the hold. Dan staggers back to the ropes. N-Bomb tries to lariat him over the top but Dan collapses and it’s N-Bomb who goes over the top rope. I-Bomb goes over to check on him. N-Bomb gets up and…I-Bomb suddenly clutches his throat and falls unconscious. Nantz: “I believe N-Bomb just accidently tooted- which is actually his finisher the ‘Silent But Deadly.’ And…wow! They aren’t kidding either.” Dan Martini on the top rope. He attempts a splash on N-Bomb. He misses badly. N-Bomb back in the ring with a steel-folding chair. He swings wildly and whiffs on Don when the Martini falls down. Don quickly gets back up and his head bonks the chair right into N-Bomb’s face. N-Bomb down. Don passes out on top of the chair on top of N-Bomb. 1…2…3.
WINNER: THE DRUNKEN LUCHADORS- THE FLYIN’ MARTINI BROTHERS
Nantz: “Well, another big upset here in the PCW Extreme March Mayhem Tag Team Tournament. More action right after this…”
DOMINATION INC. SUITE
‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ CEO Mr. McMann leans back in his chair with CFO Gordon Guyko. McMann: “Well, now that the mole problem has been taken care of, our new plan can go forward.” Guyko: “I hope you’re right. We’re spending a lot of money and we don’t have a lot to show for it.” McMann: “Don’t worry, Gordon. We’re going to get things back on track tonight.”
Check out all the action of EBW and BWE at Basic Bloganomics.
BWE Blog Center – BWE CEO David Funk gives you the low-down on what’s going on in BWE.
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All this and more at Basic Bloganomics.
Suave: “Johnny Suave back here. SNAFU and DVD have just pulled off their second huge upset in two weeks.”
REPLAY: MATCH #2 AT THE HOBART ARENA
#5 ‘Extreme Vegan’ BROCK COLE LEE and GREENPETE (Green World Order) vs.
#13- SNAFU and DVD (Dr. Bill’s Island of Misfit Wrestlers)
Suave: “IT’S SNAFU WITH THE ARABIAN FACEBUSTER ON GREENPETE!” Brock Cole Lee in. DVD mounts the corner turnbuckle. He jumps. He…connects? Suave: “DVD FINALLY HIT A JUMP! HOLY CRAP!” SNAFU covers. 1…2…3.
WINNER: SNAFU and DVD
Suave: “So the Cinderella story of the tournament, SNAFU and DVD, advance on to the semi-finals. They’ll meet Grizzly Adam and Hunter the Hunter on Sunday night. Daisy Cutter-Bomb out with the rest of Domination Inc. and ready for her match tonight against the always tough, Dr. Annabel aka…Annabel the Cannibal…Lecktor.” Daisy’s in the ring. The ring announcer calls out Dr. Lecktor and Nancy Pelosi comes out instead. Suave: “Okay? Nancy Pelosi of the Progressive Alliance is walking to the ring now.” Pelosi climbs in. Pelosi: “Excuse me…EXCUSE ME! Dr. Annabel Lecktor cannot be here at the match tonight because Mr. McMann…that’s right…Mr. McMann completely forgot that Dr. Lecktor isn’t allowed to leave Buckland County.” Mr. McMann watches in shock. Pelosi: “So, your little scheme for Dr. Lecktor to win tonight and then screw over Kathryn Randall Collins Sunday night isn’t going to work. So I declare Daisy Cutter-Bomb the winner by forfeit and she can explain to KRC what’s going on Sunday.”
MATCH #3 AT THE HOBART ARENA
#6 DAISY CUTTER-BOMB (Domination Inc.) vs.
#14 DR. ANNABEL LECKTOR aka…Annabel the Cannibal (Independent)
Suave: “NANCY PELOSI JUST SMACKED DOWN MR. McMANN WHO APPARENTLY HAD A PLAN IN THE WORKS INVOLVING DR. ANNABEL LECKTOR. THE QUESTION NOW IS- WHAT WILL FORMER PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION KATHRYN RANDALL COLLINS THINK?”
WINNER BY FORFEIT: DAISY CUTTER-BOMB
BACKSTAGE-HILLARY CLINTON’S OFFICE
KRC walks to the door and knocks on it. The door opens and Hillary Clinton pops her head out. Hillary: “Kathryn! It’s so good to see you. Come in!” KRC goes inside.
Suave: “Interesting. KRC just won her match with ‘Trailer Park Sweetheart’ Tanya Hardy and went right back to Hillary Clinton’s office. Perhaps, KRC sees the writing on the wall. Back to Jim Nantz.”
RECAP-MATCH #3 AT OL’ MAN HANSON’S BARN
#8 “Trailer Park Sweetheart’ TANYA HARDY (White Trash Posse) vs.
#1 KATHRYN RANDALL COLLINS (Domination Inc.)
Nantz: “Thanks, Johnny. Boy, this has been fun tonight. As Johnny alluded to, KRC easily dispatched Tanya Hardy tonight. KRC seemed to have a bit of an edge tonight as not only did she soundly defeat Hardy but she also took out her White Trash Posse as well.”
MATCH #4 AT OL’ MAN HANSON’S BARN #11 THE DIXIE CHUCKS – Chuck-mily and Chuck-artie w/Chuck-atalie (Progressive Alliance) vs.
#3 JACK SCHETT and BULL SCHETT w/Horst Schett and Hans Gruber- the Extreme German Schnauzer (Progressive Alliance)
Nantz: “It’s kind of like the old and the new here. The Schett Brothers- the new guard. The Dixie Chucks, three guys named Chuck who are huge fans of the Dixie Chicks, are the Progressive Alliance old guard. And speaking of old, it’s my privilege to bring here a true coaching legend, Bob Knight.” Knight: “@!#$ you, Jim.” The bell rings. Jack Schett and Chuck-mily start off. They trade quick go behinds before Chuck-mily gets the takedown. Jack reaches the ropes to break. Out of nowhere, Jack hits a spin kick to the stomach. Chuck-mily responds with 2 dropkicks and sends Jack out of the ring to the floor. Chuck-mily to the top rope. Horst Schett sneaks around and pushes him off. Bull Schett attacks Chuck-mily on the floor and catches a kick from Chuck-artie. Jack sweeps his leg and goes for a chair. Both Dixie Chucks hightail into the ring.
Jack Schett back in the ring. Chuck-artie charges into a back elbow. Jack crotches Chuck-artie in the corner and ties him up in the “The Tree of Woe. Chuck-atalie tries to sneak up but gets a right hand from Bull Schett. Horst Schett places the chair in position and Jack baseball slides it into Chuck-artie. The ref gets hung up with Bull Schett and allows Chuck-mily to springboard off Chuck-atalie and nail Jack Schett with a lariat. Nantz: “Bob, what do you think of the action so far?” Knight: “Good teamwork. Not a lot of defense on either part.” Chuck-artie charges into Bull Schett’s boot. Bull covers. 1…2… Chuck-artie’s shoulder gets up. Bull delivers the boot again. A pair of elbows and a legdrop. Bull covers again. 1…2. Chuck-artie kicks out. Jack tags back in and locks in a side headlock on Chuck-artie. Russian leg sweep and leg drop. Cover. 1…easy kick out by Chuck-artie. Bull runs in and whips Chuck-artie through the ropes. Bull tries to splash him from the top rope but Chuck-atalie drops the rope down and causes Bull to fall to the floor. Chuck-mily with a front facelock on Jack. He whips Jack to the corner and locks in a neck vice. Belly-to-belly on Jack and a cover. 1…2..no. Jack kicks out. Chuck-mily continues to choke Jack on the second rope. Chuck-atalie and Chuck-mily pull Jack from the ring. Neckbreaker on the floor by Chuck-mily. Hurracanrana. Spin kick. Chuck-mily and Chuck-artie hold Jack Schett up by the announcer’s table. SUPLEX THROUGH THE ANNOUNCER’S TABLE. Crowd: “HOLY #$#@! HOLY @#$#!” Nantz: “That was a devastating move by the Dixie Chucks.” Knight becomes enraged and for no reason, heaves a chair and blasts Chuck-mily with it. Bull Schett clotheslines Chuck-artie and covers. 1…2…3.
WINNER: JACK SCHETT and BULL SCHETT
Nantz: “Coach Knight proves to be the difference in the match with his chair throwing prowness and the Schetts go through to the semi-finals. It’s been fun doing this. I’m Jim Nantz and let’s go back to Johnny Suave.”
MATCH #4 AT HOBART ARENA (IN PROGRESS)
#7 “Queen of All Media” OPAL WINFREE w/Opal’s Flock- New Age Sensitive Guy and Soccer Mom (Progressive Alliance) vs.
#2 KALEE JONES- The Eskimo Queen w/Sarah Palin (SarahPAC)
Suave: “WE ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF AN ABSOLUTE DONNYBROOK HERE BETWEEN KALEE JONES AND OPAL WINFREE. Winfree charges and gets a quick go-behind. She follows up with a paintbrush and then turns it into a headlock. Jones shoots Winfree off into the ropes. Drop-toehold into a single-leg crab by Jones. Soccer Mom gets on the apron and tries to distract the referee. New Age Sensitive Guy apologizes before hitting a big kick to the back of Jones. Winfree grabs a front-facelock and follows with some knees to the face. She covers. 1…2…Kalee kicks out. Irish whip in and Kalee ducks under a reverse elbow. She hits a flying cross-body on Winfree. Again, a two-count. Winfree fights back with a big boot to the face. She throws the Eskimo Queen into the corner and distracts the referee. Soccer Mom and New Age Sensitive Guy work over Kalee in the corner. Winfree brings her in by the hair and covers. Another two. Kalee reverses a clothesline and turns it into a neckbreaker. Spinning back kick as Winfree tries to charge into the corner. Clothesline from Kalee. Butt bump to the face of Winfree in the corner. Kalee drags Winfree into the middle of the ring. She lifts Winfree up. Suave: “ESKIMO PIE FACE!” Winfree out. Kalee covers. 1…2…3.
WINNER: KALEE JONES
Suave: “A GREAT MATCH FROM START TO FINISH! SUNDAY NIGHT IS OUR SPECIAL ON P-SPAN. HERE’S THE CARD:
Tag Team Semi-Finals:
#8 Grizzly Adam and Hunter the Hunter (SarahPAC) vs. #13 SNAFU and DVD (Dr. Bill’s Island of Misfit Wrestlers)
#3 Jack Schett and Bull Schett (Progressive Alliance) vs. #15 Drunken Luchadors Don and Dan Martini (Independent)
#4 Mia Margarita (Domination Inc.) vs. #1 Kathryn Randall Collins (Domination Inc.)
#6 Daisy Cutter-Bomb (Domination Inc.) vs. #2 Kalee Jones (SarahPAC)
Other political stories:
Politics: NG Lynd, Thought Rogue, Patrick Sperry, wickle, Sensico, Marc,
Democrats: Riley, taoist, theabatis, Tarpon, FrankLynchUSA, Michael,
Republicans: JLG, foundersfreedom, Kate Ryan, Brad, Bonafide, kevvyd, muses of a mom,
March Madness: Brithy, Kreuzer33, Nat, Jeff Kelly Lowenstein, Greg, mikeyrolls,
Other: Arianna Huffington, Tom Mattzie, Henry Blodgett, Cenk Uyger, John Kerry, BarbinMD, Jake McIntyre, Jane Hamsher, Christy Hardin Smith,
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