“Gina Ramsey here. The Franken/Coleman feud has at times dominated the landscape at Political Championship Wrestling over the past six months. The feud really didn’t begin until October when they met for the first time. But it didn’t really take off until PCW Extreme Election Night 2008 in November. Here’s a look back at the feud from the beginning….
NORM COLEMAN (American Patriots) vs. AL FRANKEN (Progressive Alliance) from 10/7/08 PCW Extreme Political TV
Suave notes that Franken is the rookie here going up against an experience veteran in Coleman. Arianna Huffington is out hanging around Franken’s corner. She distracts Coleman and Franken takes advantage. Franken shoulder blocks him down and then chokes Coleman with his robe. Franken sets Coleman in the corner and then chokes him out with his boot. Whip off the ropes and Franken hits a leg whip. Huffington slides a chair in. Chairshot by Franken and then an arm bar. Knee by Coleman followed by a snap mare and back to the arm. Coleman finally escapes and slides out of the ring.
John McCain, leader of the American Patriots, now ringside and confers with Coleman. Back in the ring, he runs right into a clothesline. Franken follows with a dropkick. Kicks to the leg. Kicks to the back. Snap mare. Another kick to the back. Franken covers for 2. McCain in to break the count. Chairshot by McCain changes the momentum. Huffington on the ring apron and screaming at McCain. Coleman cranks on Franken’s knee and works into the reverse Indian deathlock. Barack Obama now down at the ring. Coleman rolls the Indian deathlock into a pinning combo. Obama in and pulls Coleman off. Franken to his feet. Shoulder ram by Coleman. Chops, rights, and uppercuts. Coleman rocks Franken. Wristlock and a twisting takedown. Coleman wrenches the wrist backwards and then stomps on the elbow. Coleman rolls into a cross arm breaker for one. Franken kicks his way out.
The crowd chants ‘PCW.’ Rights to Coleman. Cross face shots. Body kick by Coleman and back to the wristlock. Coleman adjusts to a hammerlock and works the other arm. Franken rolled into a pinning position for 2. Again, Obama breaks the count. Franken to his feet into a shoulder block by Coleman. Suplex try by Coleman countered by Franken. Coleman thrown out of the ring. Franken to the apron. Flying elbow drop from the ring. Suave: “HOLY CRAP!” Arianna Huffington sets a table up and Obama puts Coleman on it. McCain runs around the ring. Arianna latches on to him and holds on for dear life. Franken to the top. Sarah Palin hits the ring again with her hockey stick and whacks Franken in the back. Franken falls and hits hard on the floor. Joe Biden now to the ring. Obama and McCain get into it. Biden climbs up to the top rope. Palin starts towards him but Arianna gets in between her and Biden. Biden leaps and puts Coleman through the table. Suave: “HOLY CRAP!” Crowd: “PCW…PCW!” Biden rolls Coleman back into the ring. Then he rolls Franken back into the ring. Arianna and Palin rolls around on the ring canvas. Suave: “CAT-FIGHT! CAT-FIGHT!” Franken crawls over and covers Coleman. 1…2…3.
WINNER: AL FRANKEN (Progressive Alliance)
Suave: “WOW! Didn’t expect that. Al Franken proved to be a much tougher opponent than I originally thought he’d be. So far, not a good night for the American Patriots.
McCain looks extremely agitated at losing the match. He stalks to the back with Palin a step behind him.
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From 11/7 PCW EXTREME ELECTION NIGHT 2008:
Franken and Coleman reach the ring. Suave: “If the last match was a war, I hate to see how this one turns out. Both men don’t like each other. Is Coleman’s vast political experience enough to hold off Franken? Can Franken pull off a huge win and add to what has already been a huge night for the Progressive Alliance. And will we see Sarah Palin again in this match? We will find out in just a…SOMEONE’S RUNNING TO THE RING. WHO IS THAT? THAT’S DEAN BARKLEY THE INDEPENDENT. AND HE CAUGHT BOTH FRANKEN AND COLEMAN COMPLETELY BY SURPRISE. THERE’S A REF IN THE RING…HE’S CALLING FOR THE BELL!”
MATCH #5 Minnesota Street Brawl
AL FRANKEN (Progressive Alliance)
vs. NORM COLEMAN (American Patriots)
vs. DEAN BARKLEY (Independent)
Suave: “IT’S NOW A THREE WAY MINNESOTA STREET BRAWL!” Barkley starts the match with a back elbow smash to Franken. Then hard right hands to Coleman’s face. Coleman back into the corner. Barkley blatantly chokes him. Franken clobbers Barkley from behind. Coleman wisely ducks out to the outside to catch his breath. Franken throws Barkley out of the ring and then Coleman slams him into the ringpost. Coleman stomps and kicks Barkley. Barkley gouges him in the eyes. Franken, now out of the ring, throws Coleman into the ring steps and then clotheslines him over the steel barricade into the crowd. Crowd: “PCW…PCW…PCW!” They brawl in the crowd. Barkley comes up from behind and plants a steel folding chair over Franken’s head. Crowd: “PCW…PCW…PCW!”Coleman tries to go back towards the ring. He rams Barkley into the steel barricade, jumps the barricade, and then slingshots Barkley over the barricade into the ringpost. Coleman went up top and took too long. Franken grabs the ropes and crotches Coleman. He falls back in the ring. Franken hits a leg drop from the second ropes and then bites Coleman’s forehead. Suave: “HOLY CRAP!” The fans again cheer. Coleman reverses a whip then hits a pumphandle slam. Barkley hits a low, low blow on Franken. Franken somehow gets back up and thumbs Barkley in the eye. Coleman rams Franken shoulder-first into the corner ring post. Coleman rolls up Barkley from behind and hooks the tights. 1…2…3.
DEAN BARKLEY ELIMINATED
Suave: “IT’S DOWN TO COLEMAN AGAINST FRANKEN!” Coleman drags Franken out of the ring and slams him into the guardrail. Franken counters, blocks a suplex, and drapes Coleman across the guardrail. Franken’s spin kick from the ring apron misses. Coleman moves out of the way and Franken crashes right-knee-first into the rail. Quick chair shots in succession leave Franken dazed and wondering what hit him. Back suplex by Coleman. Suave: “WAIT A MINUTE! HERE COMES SARAH PALIN! SHE SWINGS THE HOCKEY STICK…MISSES FRANKEN AND HITS COLEMAN!” Palin winks. Suave: “THAT’S NOT SARAH PALIN! IT’S TINA FEY FROM SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE AGAIN! HERE’S COMES THE REAL PALIN!” Sarah Palin runs in and tackles Fey. They roll around on the floor. Suave: “CATFIGHT! CATFIGHT!”
Franken nails Coleman with a road sign. He next pulls out a cheese grater and rubs it across Coleman’s forehead. Suave: “CHEESE GRATER! CHEESE GRATER! COLEMAN IS BADLY BUSTED OPEN!” Franken pulls a ladder from underneath the ring and clocks Coleman with it. Franken grabs a garbage can and drop toe holds Coleman onto it. Cover. Two count. Coleman staggers back up and Franken knocks him right back out with a steel chair. Crowd: “HOLY S@#$#… HOLY S@#$#.” Franken puts Coleman on top of the ladder and climbs up on the corner turnbuckle. Franken leaps off the turnbuckle and crushes Coleman on the metal ladder. Crowd: “HOLY S@#$#… HOLY S@#$#.” Franken covers. 1…2…3.
WINNER: AL FRANKEN (Progressive Alliance)
Suave: “THE PROGRESSIVE ALLIANCE SCORES ANOTHER VICTORY HERE IN AN EXTREME HARDCORE POLITICAL MATCH! WOW! It’s now 4 for the Progressive Alliance, 1 for the independents, and 0 for the American Patriots.”
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11/6/09 PCW NEWSLINE:
Tuesday night at PCW Extreme Election Night 2008, Norm Coleman and Al Franken went through an intense hardcore war…
…Franken pulls a ladder from underneath the ring and clock Coleman with it. Franken grabs a garbage can and drops toe holds Coleman onto it. Cover. Two count. Coleman staggers back up and Franken knocks him right back out with a steel chair. Crowd: “HOLY S@#$#… HOLY S@#$#.” Franken puts Coleman on top of the ladder and climbs up on the corner turnbuckle. Franken leaps off the turnbuckle and crushes Coleman on the metal ladder. Crowd: “HOLY S@#$#… HOLY S@#$#.” Franken covers. 1…2…3.
The issue was decided when Franken pinned Coleman…or was it?
After Extreme Election Night ended, this took place…
PARKING LOT- HACK’S RUSTY NAIL SALOON
Al Franken opens up his car door. He starts to get into his car when Norm Coleman slams the door shut on Franken’s left leg. Coleman opens the car door and pulls Franken out. Franken to the ground. Coleman kicks at Franken’s left leg. He kneels down and starts swinging away. Coleman drags Franken up and whips him headfirst into the driver’s side window. Franken staggers back and his left leg gives out. Coleman again pulls him back up and whips him headfirst into the window. Franken slides down the side of the car. Coleman then opens the door and rams it into Franken’s head. Franken is dragged back into his car with his left leg hanging out again. Coleman slams the car door repeatedly against Franken’s leg.
Finally, ‘American Screamer’ Howard Dean and ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido of the Progressive Alliance tackle Coleman and drive him to the ground.
Does this set up a rematch? We will find out soon enough.
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11/13/08 PCW NEWSLINE:
Political Championship Wrestling announces: Al Franken vs. Norm Coleman- the rematch- will take place on the November 25th PCW Extreme Political TV.
After taking a savage beating on his leg, will Franken be ready for Coleman? Can Coleman take advantage of Franken’s leg? We’ll find out November 25th.
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NORM COLEMAN (American Patriots) vs. AL FRANKEN (Progressive Alliance) from 11/25 PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV
Franken is fired up. Coleman sidesteps the initial charge and wastes no time attacking Franken’s bad leg. Suave: “Coleman with kicks to Franken and drives him down to one knee…LOW BLOW BY FRANKEN!” Franken does it a second time. Coleman’s turns white and tips over onto the canvas. Suave: “HOLY CRAP!” Franken flails on him. He pulls Coleman up by the hair and throws him through the ropes outside. Coleman topples out of the ring and onto the floor. Franken on the edge of the ring. Flying elbow. Coleman’s legs jerk up at impact and then slam back down. Franken again pulls Coleman up by the hair. Blatant choke. The referee tries to get in the middle but Franken isn’t letting go. Franken gets a chair. *CLANG* He takes out the referee. *CLANG* Down goes Coleman. Franken throws the chair down and again pulls Coleman back up. Chop across the chest. A second one. Franken whips Coleman into the steel guardrail. Coleman flips over the guardrail into the crowd. Suave: “This has been all Al Franken so far.”
Franken is handed a cup of beer. Beer shot to Coleman. Cookie sheet is next. *WHACK* The cookie sheet is bent at a ninety degree angle after Franken uses it. The crowd parts and creates a corridor as Franken pushes Coleman towards the concession stand. Franken throws Coleman head first into the edge of the stand. Coleman finally fights back and pushes Franken away. He tries to fire some shots at Franken. Franken goes hammerlock and then reverses into a side headlock. Coleman reverses into an arm wringer. Franken can’t break the hold so he punches Coleman in the mouth. Franken grabs a squeeze bottle full of ketchup and squirts it in Coleman’s eyes. Franken again chokes out Coleman. Suave: “Coleman’s taken a lot of punishment. How much more can he…say, what is Mark Ritchie doing over there with that rope?” Ritchie throws a rope over a beam and catches it on the other side. Franken drives Coleman towards Ritchie. Franken gets another chair. *CLANG* Coleman staggers. Franken pushes him down at Ritchie’s feet. Ritchie loops the rope around Coleman’s feet. He pulls the rope on the other side and Coleman goes into the air feet first. Suave: “Well, this can’t be good.” Franken gets a chair, winds up, and whacks Coleman with it. Suave: “COLEMAN’S STRUNG UP LIKE A HUMAN PINATA AND FRANKEN’S GOING TO BEAT THE STUFFING OUT OF HIM! *CLANG* HOLY CRAP! *CLANG* The crowd roars. Suave: “A THIRD SHOT. COLEMAN’S A SITTING DUCK…OR A HANGING DUCK…OR WHATEVER…AND HERE COMES TIM PAWLENTY!” Pawlenty runs down and swipes the chair from Franken. *CLANG* Franken staggers backwards. Mark Ritchie makes a run at Pawlenty. *CLANG* And falls backward as well. Franken gets up and charges again. *CLANG* Franken pirouettes and then collapses. Suave: “TIM PAWLENTY CLEANS HOUSE. HE’S CUTTING DOWN COLEMAN AND I DON’T THINK COLEMAN KNOWS WHERE HE’S AT RIGHT NOW!” Pawlenty guides Coleman back towards the ring. Franken gets up a few seconds later. He stumbles towards the ring.
Coleman barely can make it over the steel guardrail. Franken gets his second wind and leaps the guardrail onto Coleman. Again, Franken flails wild punches. Franken pulls him back up. Drop toehold onto a chair. Coleman’s forehead is busted open again. Franken powerbombs Coleman through the timekeeper’s table. Franken stomps on him. He drags Coleman back up and takes him to the ring. Franken rolls Coleman in and climbs the ropes. Coleman gets up. Franken hits a missile drop kick from the top rope sending him right back down. Franken snapmares him into the corner. Huge knee strike. Franken again up top, double axehandle to Coleman. Coleman throws wild punches that miss by several miles. Clothesline by Franken. He covers. 1…2..no, two count. Franken stomps him repeatedly. Franken picks someone up the top turnbuckle. Superplex from the top rope. Cover 1…2…NO! Coleman’s foot is on the ropes. Franken getting a little frustrated. He yanks Coleman back in the ring and climbs up the top turnbuckle. Swanton splash by Franken! ONE… TWO…NO! Suave: “I thought Franken got him. But Coleman kicks out just in time.” Franken sets up for the Piledriver, but Coleman rolls through! Franken takes Coleman up top. Coleman fights off Franken. Half Nelson Suplex by Franken! Another cover. 1…2…again, Coleman kicks out. Franken slams his fist into the canvas. Small package by Franken. Suave: “FRANKEN ROLLS HIM UP. 1…2…3-NO! COLEMAN ROLLED HIM OVER! 1…2…3! HE’S DONE IT!
WINNER: NORM COLEMAN
Franken stands in middle of the ring in complete disbelief. Suave: “FRANKEN CAN’T BELIEVE IT! HE HAD HIM!” Franken stands in the ring with his arms outstretched. Suave: “HE COMPLETELY HAD HIM! FRANKEN HAD HIM PINNED BUT SOMEHOW, COLEMAN ROLLED FRANKEN OVER AND HE GETS THE WIN!” Franken looks over at Coleman. Coleman’s celebrating. An enraged Franken hits Coleman from behind and then throws him head first into the corner turnbuckle. He picks up the chair and jams it into the back of Coleman’s left knee. Coleman falls backward to the canvas. Suave: “FRANKEN’S SNAPPED! HE’S PISSED AND NOW SLAMMING THAT STEEL CHAIR INTO COLEMAN’S KNEE!” Three shots in a row. Tim Pawlenty hits the ring to stop him. Franken blasts him with the chair and sends Pawlenty flying across the ring. Franken throws the chair down and puts Coleman’s leg through it. Suave: “WHAT IS HE DOING? FRANKEN CLIMBING TO THE TURNBUCKLE!” Franken jumps onto the chair. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! FRANKEN’S TRYING TO SNAP HIS LEG LIKE A TWIG!” Coleman grabs his knee and violently writhes in pain. Franken grabs the leg and spins. Coleman: AGGGGGHHHH! Suave: “FIGURE-FOUR! FIGURE FOUR!” Coleman slams the mat with his hands. Suave: “HE’S TRYING TO CRIPPLE COLEMAN…HERE COMES THE RIGHT WING BRIGADIERS!” Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Laura Ingraham, and Ann Coulter hit the ring. Franken drops the hold and slides out of the ring. Suave: “TOO LATE, THOUGH. THE DAMAGE MAY ALREADY HAVE BEEN DONE!”
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12/3 PCW NEWSLINE:
Breaking News: Norm Coleman and Al Franken will conclude their epic series of matches on 12/18 in a Steel Cage Ladder Deathmatch.
If the first two encounters took political extreme to a different level, what’s going to happen when Coleman and Franken step into a steel cage to finish off their feud with an extreme ladder match? The match has been signed according to PCW CEO-designate Barack Obama who worked with the PCW competition committee and current PCW CEO George W to put the match together.
The match will be held in Minnesota as part of a house show event to be called PCW-Completely Deranged.
More info to follow…
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12/8-PCW NEWSLINE:
PCW COMPLETELY DERANGED TO BE ON P-SPAN
PCW CEO-designate Barack Obama announced earlier today that next Thursday’s PCW Completely Deranged will be broadcast on P-SPAN, the political channel. P-SPAN’s very own Brian Lamb will be the special color commentator for the main event- the Steel Cage Ladder Deathmatch between Al Franken and Norm Coleman. You won’t want to miss that.
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STEEL CAGE LADDER DEATHMATCH: AL FRANKEN (Progressive Alliance) vs. NORM COLEMAN (American Patriots) from 12/18/08 PCW COMPLETELY DERANGED
Suave: “All right. The rules are as follows: the first man to climb up and grab the suitcase that’s hanging over the ring wins the match. Pins, submissions, count-outs do not count. Escaping the cage does not count. The only way to win is to grab the suitcase.” Both men inside the cage. Dueling chants of “**** him up Franken” and “**** him up Coleman” start. Immediately Franken attacks. The bell rings. Suave: “HERE WE GO! FRANKEN GOES RIGHT AFTER COLEMAN’S BAD LEG.” Kicks by Franken to the injured left knee. Coleman tries to get out of the ring but Franken yanks him back in. More kicks to the knee. Russian leg sweep by Franken. Suave: “FRANKEN IS NOT MESSING AROUND! HE’S GOING TO INCAPACITATE COLEMAN! BRIAN, WHAT DO YOU THINK?” Lamb: “Johnny, that’s pretty violent. Is this the norm for PCW events?” Suave: “Well…yes….HERE WE GO! FRANKEN’S GOT A CHAIR..” *CLANG* Suave: “HOLY CRAP!” *CLANG* Coleman stumbles back and falls through the ropes to the outside right back the announcer’s table. Lamb: “My God. He’s hurt. Should we help him?” Suave: “That’s probably not advisable, Brian…BECAUSE FRANKEN’S CLIMBED THE TOP ROPE….HE BRINGS THE HEAVY ELBOW DOWN ON COLEMAN!” Franken pulls Coleman up and slams him hard into the steel cage. Then into the ring post. Coleman’s legs are rubbery. Again, into the side of the cage. Again, into the ring post. Franken throws Coleman on the floor. He searches underneath the ring and finds a ladder. He pulls it out and then hoists it over the top rope into the ring. Suave: “THERE’S THE FIRST LADDER OF THE NIGHT! CAN FRANKEN CLIMB UP AND GRAB THE BRIEFCASE?” Franken sets the ladder up in the middle of the ring. He takes one step up and Coleman somehow crawls back into the ring. Franken takes a second step. Coleman is crawling right for the ladder. Franken hops down and kicks Coleman. He picks him up and drags him to the edge of the ring. Franken climbs out and then hops off the edge holding on to Coleman’s head and choking him on the top rope. Coleman whiplashes off the ropes and lands on his back. Suave: “COLEMAN’S IN BIG TROUBLE!” Franken back in. He goes for the Figure Four Leg Lock but Coleman kicks him away. Franken tries a second time and again, Coleman boots him across the ring. Franken climbs out to the edge and heads towards the corner turnbuckle. Coleman suddenly gets up and drop kicks Franken off the ring edge into the steel cage four feet away.
Suave: “HOLY CRAP! FRANKEN HIT THE BACK OF HIS HEAD ON THE STEEL CAGE!” Now it’s Franken in trouble. Coleman inexplicably ignores the ladder and climbs the corner turnbuckle. Suave: “MISSILE DROPKICK FROM THE TOP ROPE SENDS FRANKEN RIGHT BACK INTO THE STEEL CAGE!” Coleman checks under the ring for something. He has it and goes right to Franken. Suave: “CHEESE GRATER! CHEESE GRATER! AND FRANKEN IS BUSTED WIDE OPEN! THE MOMENTUM HAS CHANGED HANDS!” Coleman pulls out a second ladder from underneath the ring. He immediately jams it in Franken’s gut. Coleman whirls it around and connects again. Lamb: “Now, are all these weapons legal?” Suave: “Um…yes…*BONK* …SKILLET! SKILLET!” Coleman comes over to the announcer’s table and motions Lamb out of his chair. Lamb stands. Lamb: “What am I supposed to sit on?” Suave: “Here. Take mine.” Coleman takes Lamb’s chair and *CLANG* *CLANG* Suave: “COLEMAN JUST DRILLED FRANKEN WITH TWO CHAIR SHOTS IN A ROW.” Franken in trouble now. Coleman kicks to the knee. He places Franken leg through the chair. Suave: “HE’S GOING TO DO THE SAME THING FRANKEN DID TO HIM! HE’S GOING TO TRY AND BREAK HIS LEG!” Lamb: “Is that the right thing to do?” Suave: “Well, right and wrong get a little fuzzy in the heat of battle.” Coleman climbs up to the top turnbuckle. Suave: “HE JUMPS…FRANKEN MOVED! HOLY CRAP! COLEMAN JUST KILLED HIMSELF! HE MISSED COMPLETELY AND HIT THE FLOOR HARD!”
Franken crawls back into the ring. Suave: “Franken can’t even stand up.” Coleman also crawls back to the ring. Franken reaches the ladder. Coleman crawls into the ring. Suave: “Franken’s going up. But Coleman is right behind him.” Franken’s about two rungs ahead of Coleman as both climb up opposite sides of the ladder. Franken reaches the top rung first. Coleman’s close enough to where he can start swinging at Franken. Both men try to push each other off the ladder. Franken stands and grabs for the briefcase. Coleman stands and he tries to reach the briefcase. Both latch on to the briefcase at the same time. The ladder suddenly becomes unbalanced. Both Franken and Coleman try to push the other off. Both grab at the briefcase. Lamb: “Isn’t it dangerous for two men to climb up a ladder to try to grab an object suspended in the air?” Suave: “Yes. That’s why you don’t see many ladder- HOLY CRAP! THE LADDER’S FALLING…RIGHT FOR US! BRIAN GET OUT OF THE WAY!” Lamb: “Huh? What?”
Crowd: “HOLY ****!…HOLY ****!…HOLY ****!…“HOLY ****!…HOLY ****!…HOLY ****!…HOLY…PCW!…PCW!…PCW!…PCW!…PCW!…” Suave: “Am I on…hello…okay…THE LADDER TIPPED OVER. FRANKEN AND COLEMAN FOUGHT FOR POSSESSION OF THE BRIEFCASE AS THE LADDER FELL. THE BAD NEWS- THEY JUST DESTROYED THE ANNOUNCER’S TABLE. THE GOOD NEWS- SOMETHING SOFT BROKE THEIR FALL. THE BAD NEWS- BRIAN LAMB OF P-SPAN WAS THE SOFT THING THAT BROKE THEIR FALL. I DIDN’T SEE WHO HAD WHAT. THE REFEREE IS TRYING TO SORT THIS OUT. THE CROWD IS GOING ABSOLUTELY NUTS!…HUH?…OH…OKAY…THE REFEREE IS GOING TO ANNOUNCE THE WINNER…LET’S GO TO THE RING.” Referee: “Okay. This is what I saw. Norm Coleman had possession-” The crowd explodes. Pro-Coleman and Franken chants erupt. Suave: “COLEMAN HAS BEEN DECLARED THE WINNER! THE REFEREE SAW THAT HE HAD THE BRIEFCASE AND CALLED HIM THE WINNER! FRANKEN IS PISSED. HE IMMEDIATELY CONFRONTS THE REFEREE AND HE’S LIGHTING HIM UP! COLEMAN’S OUT OF HERE. HE TOOK THE BRIEFCASE AND LIMPED OUT OF THE CAGE AS QUICKLY AS HE COULD. WHAT? FRANKEN’S CLAIMING THAT HE HAD THE BRIEFCASE AT THE BOTTOM BUT COLEMAN TOOK IT AWAY WHEN THE REFEREE CAME! THEY’RE GOING TO HAVE TO SORT THIS ONE OUT. COLEMAN THE WINNER. BUT MAJOR, MAJOR CONTROVERSY AT THE END OF THE THIRD COLEMAN-FRANKEN MATCH. THIS IS JOHNNY SUAVE FOR AN UNCONSCIOUS BRIAN LAMB, THANKS TO P-SPAN…SORRY ABOUT BRIAN…WE’LL HEAR MORE ABOUT THIS AS IT DEVELOPS.”
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12/20/08 PCW NEWSLINE
JOINT STATEMENT BY PCW CEO GEORGE W. AND PCW CEO-DESIGNATE BARACK OBAMA CONCERNING CONTROVERSIAL ENDING TO COLEMAN/FRANKEN III THURSDAY NIGHT
As everyone is aware, a huge controversy has erupted over The end of the Norm Coleman/Al Franken Steel Cage Ladder Deathmatch. Norm Coleman was declared the winner after the ladder that both he and Al Franken were on toppled over with both men fighting for the briefcase. At that time, the referee determined that Coleman and Franken simultaneously grabbed the suitcase which meant that whomever had control of the suitcase when they hit the ground would win the match. When the referee went over to the announcer’s table, he saw that Coleman had clear possession of the briefcase and called it accordingly.
However, Al Franken strenuously contends that he had possession of the briefcase when they hit the ground and that Coleman took it away from him just as the referee arrived on scene. We have no way to confirm this because both P-SPAN camera covering the event were on the other side of the ring. When the ladder went down, it went down going away from the camera which meant that there was a time period where both wrestlers disappeared from view.
As of right now, the call made on the scene stands. However, PCW will investigate Mr. Franken’s claims and try to locate any evidence that might indicate that he in fact did have possession of the briefcase when they hit the ground. If we can find such evidence, we will overturn the decision made by the referee and award the match to Mr. Franken. We hope to have some type of decision made as early as Tuesday night’s PCW Extreme Political TV.
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FRANKEN/COLEMAN DECISION From 12/23/08 PCW Extreme Political TV
W.: “All right, y’all. CEO-Designate Obama and I have come out to here announce that we’ve made a decision concerning-” W stops when the bickering going on behind him between Joe Biden and Dick heats up. Biden sticks his finger in Dick’s chest. Dick wags his finger right back at Biden. W: “Um, guys. Do you mind?” Biden and Dick sheepishly walk to opposite sides. W: “As I was saying, we’ve made a decision about the Al Franken/Norm Coleman controversy last Thursday. As you already know, the referee made the call Thursday night that because he saw Norm Coleman with possession of the briefcase, he was awarded the match. However, certain evidence has come to light. Barack? Obama: “Thank you, W. Chris Stellar from the Minnesota Independent came forward with his cell phone camera that recorded what happened as the ladder fell with both Coleman and Franken on it.
CELL PHONE CAMERA ACCOUNT
Coleman and Franken battle. They both grab the suitcase. The ladder becomes unstable and starts to fall. Both men wrestle in the air for possession of the briefcase. The ladder falls directly towards PCW Announcer Johnny Suave’s table. Suave and guest color analyst Brian Lamb from P-SPAN see the ladder falling. Suave dives out of the way. Lamb attempts to cushion the fall. The ladder stops at the ropes and both Coleman and Franken go through the table. Franken clearly has possession of the briefcase. The referee slides out of the ring. Coleman snatches the briefcase away…
Obama: “So, as you can see. We have indisputable proof that Al Franken had possession of the briefcase when both men hit the floor. George W. and I have conferred and we both agree that the only fair thing to do is to award the match to Al Franken.Half the crowd roars. The other half boos. Suave: “THERE YOU HAVE IT! AL FRANKEN IS THE WINNER OF THURSDAY NIGHT’S STEEL CAGE LADDER DEATHMATCH!” Coleman is pissed. He and Franken begin to talk. It quickly becomes heated. Franken taunts Coleman. Coleman attacks Franken. Suave: “HERE WE GO AGAIN!” Both W and Obama clear the ring. Suave: “COLEMAN HAS GONE BERSERK! HE IS PUMMELING FRANKEN…WAIT! HERE COMES THE PCW SECURITY DIRECTOR- SIX FOOT DEMOLITION MACHINE IN A SHORT SKIRT- DAWN McGILL!” McGill and her Singapore cane climb into the ring. She drags Coleman away from Franken. Coleman fights it. McGill Russian Leg Sweeps Coleman with the cane and he falls backwards. Suave: “McGILL TRYING TO BREAK THIS UP. SHE TELLS COLEMAN TO GET OUT OF THE RING. FRANKEN TAUNTS COLEMAN! COLEMAN SNAPS RIGHT UP. McGILL AGAIN PULLS COLEMAN AWAY! FRANKEN CONTINUES TO TAUNT COLEMAN! COLEMAN PUSHES FRANKEN! FRANKEN SLAPS…OHHHH, NO. COLEMAN DUCKS AND FRANKEN SLAPS DAWN McGILL!” McGill’s eyes blaze with fury. She immediately heaves Coleman head first out of the ring. Then she starts slowly towards Franken. Suave: “Al, you just made one of the biggest mistakes ever in your life…and yes, that includes Stuart Smalley- the movie. This gal has sterilized more men with her six inch stilettos than most doctors do in a career.” Backpedeling, Franken tries to apologize. *THWACK* Apparently, it’s not accepted. *THWACK* Franken spins and falls to the canvas. Suave: “Well, I guess Dawn McGill passed her first test as the PCW Security Director!”
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For four months, the feud simmered on the back burner. But when Franken and Coleman were brought together to accept an award for PCW’s best feud of 2008…
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From 4/7/09 PCW Extreme Political TV:
BANQUET ROOM
During the year end PCW awards ceremony for 2008, PCW CEO Barack Obama has just announced the winner of ’2008′s Best Feud’- Al Franken vs. Norm Coleman. Franken and Coleman come up on opposite sides. Obama: “This feud took off at PCW Extreme Election Night and ended with a thrilling, heartstopping ladder cage match in Minneapolis at PCW Completely Deranged. Let’s give these two combatants a hand for bringing some great moments to PCW.” The audience stands up and cheers. Franken and Coleman both acknowledge the crowd. The roaring ovation continues and drowns out Franken and Coleman chirping back and forth at each other. It becomes more heated. Coleman lunges across the dias and tackles Franken…
Suave: “Apparently after all these months and Coleman’s endless appeals to the PCW Competition Committee of the decision on the ladder cage match, they still don’t like each other.”
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From 4/12 PCW On P-SPAN: PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein interviews Al Franken of the Progressive Alliance.
Bernstein asks Franken about Tuesday night. Franken replies that Norm Coleman is just bitter and desperate to win at any cost. “The tape said it all,” Franken says- alluding to a tape made at the PCW Completely Deranged event in Minneapolis that showed Franken with the briefcase at the end of their ladder match when they hit the ground.
Coleman runs in, says ‘That’s a lie!’ and tackles Franken. PCW Security Director Dawn McGill and a few others come out to break up the fracas.
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Suave: “Well, Al Franken’s in the ring and has something to say. If you’ve been following the whole Franken-Norm Coleman situation, they were together to accept an award last week for the best feud in PCW for 2008. As if on cue, Franken and Coleman scuffled at the dias and the feud seems to have fired back up. Let’s see what Al has to say.” Franken: “Okay. This week, Norm Coleman’s umpteenth appeal of the decision made by the full PCW Competition Committee to award me, Al Franken, the win of our December 18th match at PCW Competely Deranged was turned down again. Let’s see the tape of what happened and what really happened…”
REPLAY FROM 12/18 PCW COMPLETELY DERANGED: ENDING OF AL FRANKEN/NORM COLEMAN MATCH
Suave: “Yes. That’s why you don’t see many ladder- HOLY CRAP! THE LADDER’S FALLING…RIGHT FOR US! BRIAN GET OUT OF THE WAY!” Lamb: “Huh? What?”
Crowd: “HOLY ****!…HOLY ****!…HOLY ****!…“HOLY ****!…HOLY ****!…HOLY ****!…HOLY…PCW!…PCW!…PCW!…PCW!…PCW!…” Suave: “Am I on…hello…okay…THE LADDER TIPPED OVER. FRANKEN AND COLEMAN FOUGHT FOR POSSESSION OF THE BRIEFCASE AS THE LADDER FELL. THE BAD NEWS- THEY JUST DESTROYED THE ANNOUNCER’S TABLE. THE GOOD NEWS- SOMETHING SOFT BROKE THEIR FALL. THE BAD NEWS- BRIAN LAMB OF P-SPAN WAS THE SOFT THING THAT BROKE THEIR FALL. I DIDN’T SEE WHO HAD WHAT. THE REFEREE IS TRYING TO SORT THIS OUT. THE CROWD IS GOING ABSOLUTELY NUTS!…HUH?…OH…OKAY…THE REFEREE IS GOING TO ANNOUNCE THE WINNER…LET’S GO TO THE RING.” Referee: “Okay. This is what I saw. Norm Coleman had possession-” The crowd explodes. Pro-Coleman and Franken chants erupt. Suave: “COLEMAN HAS BEEN DECLARED THE WINNER! THE REFEREE SAW THAT HE HAD THE BRIEFCASE AND CALLED HIM THE WINNER! FRANKEN IS PISSED. HE IMMEDIATELY CONFRONTS THE REFEREE AND HE’S LIGHTING HIM UP! COLEMAN’S OUT OF HERE. HE TOOK THE BRIEFCASE AND LIMPED OUT OF THE CAGE AS QUICKLY AS HE COULD. WHAT? FRANKEN’S CLAIMING THAT HE HAD THE BRIEFCASE AT THE BOTTOM BUT COLEMAN TOOK IT AWAY WHEN THE REFEREE CAME!”
CELL PHONE CAMERA ACCOUNT
Coleman and Franken battle. They both grab the suitcase. The ladder becomes unstable and starts to fall. Both men wrestle in the air for possession of the briefcase. The ladder falls directly towards PCW Announcer Johnny Suave’s table. Suave and guest color analyst Brian Lamb from P-SPAN see the ladder falling. Suave dives out of the way. Lamb attempts to cushion the fall. The ladder stops at the ropes and both Coleman and Franken go through the table. Franken clearly has possession of the briefcase. The referee slides out of the ring. Coleman snatches the briefcase away…
Franken: “So, the tape clearly shows that I, Al Franken, had the briefcase when we hit the ground and that Norm Coleman took the briefcase away from me, Al Franken, before the referee came around. Norm? I know you’re out there somewhere. It’s time to give it up. You’ve lost. I, Al Franken, have won.” Norm Coleman slowly walks towards the ring. Suave: “There he is. Norm Coleman. Will he finally give it up? What will he do? Let’s find out.” Coleman climbs in the ring. Coleman: “Al, this is not pro wrestling fast food. I’m taking this all the way to the top.” Franken: “What. You’re taking this to PCW Owner Bubba Jackson?” Coleman: “Yes.” Franken: “Norm, enough is enough. I, Al Franken, won. You lost.” Coleman: “Like hell I will.” Coleman lunges at Franken. Suave: “HERE WE GO AGAIN! FRANKEN AND COLEMAN ARE THROWING EVERYTHING BUT THE KITCHEN SINK AT EACH OTHER!” PCW Security Director Dawn McGill charges to the ring to break up the fracas.
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From 4/19- PCW on P-SPAN…
Progressive Alliance personality Al Franken arrives outside the arena with P.A. Executive Director Tim Kaine. Franken smiles until he’s attacked from the air by Norm Coleman leaping from the roof of a car. Coleman slams Franken’s head into the driver’s side car window and shatters the glass. Kaine whaps Coleman with his briefcase. Newly hired American Patriots Leader Eric Cantor flies in and tackles Kaine.
PCW Security Director Dawn McGill arrives on scene and throws Coleman to the ground. Cantor gets in her face and receives a four inch stiletto heel to the groin from McGill.
Back inside, PCW CEO Barack Obama is in the ring and furious at Coleman’s attack. Obama gets ready to lay down the law when PCW Owner Bubba Jackson makes a surprise appearance. Jackson takes the microphone and states he’s tired of Coleman and Franken dragging this on and on and on. Jackson: “I could make a ruling on Coleman’s appeal to me but I think I have a better idea. Next week on PCW on P-SPAN, we will have in our main event Norm Coleman of the American Patriots versus Al Franken of the Progressive Alliance to settle their differences once and for all in a Hardcore Barbed Wire Deathmatch!”
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So there you have it. Tomorrow night this feud ends once and for all. Franken versus Coleman in a Hardcore Steelcage Deathmatch. From Political Championship Wrestling
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More stories about:
Al Franken & Norm Coleman: The Zoo, The Swamp , Caffeinated Politics, AOL, Raabe Review, Minnesota Post.com, Family Security Matters, USA Today, Overruled, Det Free Press,
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