4/19 PCW on P-SPAN Results from Harrisburg, PA
Match #1: Mercedes (Domination Inc.) defeats “Trailer Park Sweetheart” Tanya Hardy with the White Trash Posse (Independent) via submission to the Mercedes Bendz.
Post match, Domination Inc. members Porsche Lexus, Big Oil, Kirk Walstreit, and Rough Justice: D.B. Ruff and Connor Justice- two former police officers fired due to their extreme methods of law enforcement, ran out and beat down Hardy and her two White Trash Posse compadres. PCW Security Director Dawn McGill came out and reestablished order. Both Big Oil and Walstreit, victims of kicks to the groin with McGill’s four inch stilettos, quickly hightailed it out of there.
A quick review of the Domination Inc. Press Release from Friday:
“Domination Inc. announces the hiring of five new wrestlers to its stable: Cadillac, Jaguar, Big Monster Whalie, Mercedes, and Porsche Lexus. All five wrestlers debuted last Sunday night during the PCW on P-SPAN show and already have made a huge difference in reestablishing Domination Inc. as the ultimate corporate force in PCW.
“Domination Inc. CEO ‘THE Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann commented: “The addition of Big Monster Whalie aka BMW, Cadillac, Jaguar, Mercedes, and Porsche Lexus will jump start our efforts to takeover Political Championship Wrestling and remake it in my image. We have already shown that the PCW Champion O’Beck Bahama is no match for our Big Monster and I’m very confident that the PCW Title will shortly be in the Domination Inc. stable. Cadillac and Jaguar are capable wrestler who will help Domination Inc. with our bottom line. Mercedes and Porsche Lexus will allow Domination Inc. to reenter the PCW Women’s title chase and bring the title back to us.”
“CFO Gordon Guyko adds: “This move will maneuver Domination Inc. back to the top of PCW and is money well spent. Our goals are simple: Domination Inc. will control all four PCW title belts by PCW Loose Cannons Unleashed 5 on June 7th. With the addition of BMW, Cadillac, Jaguar, Mercedes, and Porsche Lexus to Domination Inc., I am quite confident we will hit our target objective.
“Domination Inc. also announces the formal releases of Daisy Cutter-Bomb, and Mia Margarita. Mr. McMann says: “Unfortunately, both women were not performing up to standard in reaching our corporate objectives. We wish them well in their future endeavors.”
“About Domination Inc.: Domination Inc. is a consortium of wrestlers dedicated to making the group the elite in Political Championship Wrestling. Our mission statement is simple: Domination Inc. will facilitate the takeover of PCW by any and all means available to us.”
Progressive Alliance personality Al Franken arrives outside the arena with P.A. Executive Director Tim Kaine. Franken smiles until he’s attacked from the air by Norm Coleman leaping from the roof of a car. Coleman slams Franken’s head into the driver’s side car window and shatters the glass. Kaine whaps Coleman with his briefcase. Newly hired American Patriots Leader Eric Cantor flies in and tackles Kaine.
PCW Security Director Dawn McGill arrives on scene and throws Coleman to the ground. Cantor gets in her face and receives a four inch stiletto heel to the groin from McGill.
Back inside, PCW CEO Barack Obama is in the ring and furious at Coleman’s attack. Obama gets ready to lay down the law when PCW Owner Bubba Jackson makes a surprise appearance. Jackson takes the microphone and states he’s tired of Coleman and Franken dragging this on and on and on. Jackson: “I could make a ruling on Coleman’s appeal to me but I think I have a better idea. Next week on PCW on P-SPAN, we will have in our main event Norm Coleman of the American Patriots versus Al Franken of the Progressive Alliance to settle their differences once and for all in a Hardcore Barbed Wire Deathmatch!”
Match #2 Cadillac (Domination Inc.) vs. Richard Headd of Guys With Unfortunate First Names Given Their Last Name (Dr. Bill’s Island of Misfit Wrestlers)- no match. Jaguar immediately attacks Headd before the bell. Dr. Bill and the rest of the Island of Misfit Wrestlers run in to help but Dr. Bill holds SNAFU back and then the pair leave. Domination Inc. hits the ring en force and destroy the Island of Misfit Wrestlers before PCW Security Director Dawn McGill makes her third appearance of the night to chase them off.
Backstage, PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein asks Dr. Bill why he turned his back on the Island of Misfit Wrestlers. Dr. Bill’s response: “Failure is no accident. You cannot be who and what you are unless you have a lifestyle, both internally and externally, that is designed to support that definition of self. I tried to raise up the Island of Misfit Wrestlers. I did the best I could. But in the end, a defining moment is much like a burn. If you lean up against a hot stove, in less than a second the event is over. But the pain can last for weeks, months. The Island of Misfit Wrestlers have to learn from these tough moments and it will make them better.” Dr. Bill then added that he wants to refocus his energies on making SNAFU the next PCW Television Champion.
Nancy Pelosi of the Progressive Alliance and the president of the PCW Competition Committee walks to the ring and calls out PCW Women’s Champion ‘Extreme Political TV’ Tessa Martin. Tessa comes out to the ring.
A quick review of Pelosi’s statement from Friday’s PCW Newsline:
NANCY PELOSI (Progressive Alliance) CALLS THE AMERICAN HEARTLAND COALITION ‘EXTREMISTS’
“After PCW Women’s Champion ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin and the newly minted American Heartland Coalition disrupted Nancy Pelosi’s grand plan to punish Blue Dog D and RINO-Republican in Name Only for locking the Angry Left Wing Bloggers in a room and make them listen to music from Barney the Dinosaur, Pelosi had this to say about the group’s effort: “This initiative is funded by the high end; we call it AstroTurf, it’s not really a grass-roots movement. It’s AstroTurf by some of the wealthiest people in America to keep the focus on tax cuts for the rich instead of for the great middle class.”
When asked to expound on her comments: Pelosi’s lieutenants passed out a document that stated that the American Heartland Coalition wasn’t ‘all about average citizens.’ The document goes on to accuse the AHC of harboring extremist elements such as sucessionists and racists, pointing out the ‘Raving Rednecks’ Locke and Loade as one example.
For her part, Tessa Martin would not dignify Ms. Pelosi’s remark with a response. Martin’s only statement was that she would respond in kind in the ring Sunday night on PCW on P-SPAN.”
Pelosi tells her that the PCW Competition Committee voted to make her defend the PCW Women’s title tonight in a three-way dance against Emily List and Code Pink of the Progressive Alliance. Tessa: “You’re no better than the American Patriots or Domination Inc. Bring it on, bitch.”
Main Event for the PCW Women’s Title: ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin (American Heartland Coalition) vs. Emily List (Progressive Alliance) vs. Code Pink (Progressive Alliance)
Emily List and Code Pink doubleteam Tessa and the match quickly becomes a two on one beatdown. A double pin attempt gets broken up by American Heartland Coalition member Tequila Sheila. Then, Kathryn Randall Collins (Progressive Alliance) hits the ring and it becomes a three on two beatdown. Another pin attempt- another run-in. This time, it’s Politically Incorrect- Princess of Political Incorrectness Andrea Doria with Al Cahall and Nic Koteen who makes the save.
Pelosi climbs into the ring with a steel folding chair and sneaks behind Tessa. Tessa turns around and sees her. KRC rushes at the Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl, Tessa sidesteps KRC’s charge and Pelosi gets crunched in the corner. This brings out both the Angry Left Wing Bloggers (Daily Kos, Media Matters, Eric Alterman, and Paul Krugman) and Domination Inc. But before either group can make it to the ring, they end up brawling outside the ring with each other. In the chaos, Tessa Pizza Cutters Emily List and grabs the pin.
Winner and still PCW Women’s Champion: ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin
Post match: Andrea Doria gets on the microphone and announces that Politically Incorrect will join the American Heartland Coalition.
Then a shocking sight, former Domination Inc. member Daisy Cutter-Bomb (also former member of the Three Amigas with Tessa Martin and Tequila Sheila ) sheepishly walks out to the ring. A replay is shown of Daisy being kicked out of Domination Inc. last week. Another replay is shown of Daisy turning on Tessa last year and helping Kathryn Randall Collins become the number one contender for the PCW Women’s Title.
Daisy asks if she can also join the American Heartland Coalition. Tessa and Tequila Sheila both just look upon her in disgust and walk away.
Other stories about:
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