4/22-PCW Extreme Political TV: Nancy Pelosi, Janeane Garofalo Confront the American Heartland Coalition, The debut of Domination Inc.’s latest weapon of mass destruction- Big Monster Wahlie

Skank Mitchell celebrates Moon Day/The debut of Domination Inc.’s latest weapon of mass destruction- Big Monster Wahlie/Movie Classic Debuts/

4/22-PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV from Athens, Ohio
HOSTS: Johnny Suave and his life size cardboard cut-out of Shania Twain

Crowd chants ‘PCW!…PCW!’ Suave: “HELLO AND WELCOME TO P-C-W!” Suave poses and pauses. Suave: “I AM JOHNNY SUAVE! THIS HOT PIECE OF CARDBOARD IS SHANIA TWAIN. WELCOME TO ANOTHER EDITION OF PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV! SUNDAY NIGHT ON PCW ON P-SPAN SAW SOME BIG THINGS GO DOWN. LET’S RECAP WHAT HAPPENED.”

4/19 PCW on P-SPAN Recap
-Mercedes (Domination Inc.) def. “Trailer Park Sweetheart” Tanya Hardy with the White Trash Posse (Independent) via submission to the Mercedes Bendz.

Post match, Domination Inc. members ran out and beat down Hardy and her two White Trash Posse compadres. PCW Security Director Dawn McGill came out to reestablish order.

-Progressive Alliance personality Al Franken was attacked by Norm Coleman as he arrived outside the arena with P.A. Executive Director Tim Kaine. Coleman slams Franken’s head into the driver’s side car window and shatters the glass. Kaine whaps Coleman with his briefcase. Newly hired American Patriots Leader Eric Cantor flies in and tackles Kaine. PCW Security Director Dawn McGill arrives on scene and throws Coleman to the ground. Cantor gets in her face and receives a four inch stiletto heel to the groin from McGill.

Inside, PCW CEO Barack Obama is ready to lay down the law when PCW Owner Bubba Jackson makes an appearance. Jackson: “I could make a ruling on Coleman’s appeal to me but I think I have a better idea. Next week on PCW on P-SPAN, we will have in our main event Norm Coleman of the American Patriots versus Al Franken of the Progressive Alliance to settle their differences once and for all in a Hardcore Barbed Wire Deathmatch!”

-Cadillac (Domination Inc.) vs. Richard Headd of Guys With Unfortunate First Names Given Their Last Name (Dr. Bill’s Island of Misfit Wrestlers)- no match. Headd before the bell by Jaguar. Dr. Bill and the rest of the Island of Misfit Wrestlers run in but Dr. Bill holds SNAFU back and they leave. Domination Inc. destroyed the Island of Misfit Wrestlers before PCW Security Director Dawn McGill chased them off.

PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein asked Dr. Bill why he turned his back on the Island of Misfit Wrestlers. Dr. Bill: “Failure is no accident. You cannot be who and what you are unless you have a lifestyle, both internally and externally, that is designed to support that definition of self. I tried to raise up the Island of Misfit Wrestlers. I did the best I could. But in the end, a defining moment is much like a burn. If you lean up against a hot stove, in less than a second the event is over. But the pain can last for weeks, months. The Island of Misfit Wrestlers have to learn from these tough moments and it will make them better.” Dr. Bill added that he wanted to refocus his energies on making SNAFU the next PCW Television Champion.

-Main Event for the PCW Women’s Title: ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin (American Heartland Coalition)def. Emily List (Progressive Alliance) and Code Pink (Progressive Alliance) via Pizza Cutter on List.

At the end, former Domination Inc. member Daisy Cutter-Bomb (also former member of the Three Amigas with Tessa Martin and Tequila Sheila ) walked to the ring and asked if she can join the American Heartland Coalition. Tessa and Tequila Sheila walked away from her in disgust.

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Suave: “Lot’s of stuff going on as you can tell. Let’s head to the-” Nancy Pelosi and Janeane Garofalo walk to the ring. Suave: “Okay. What the hell is Janeane Garofolo doing here? It might have something to do with this…”

REPLAY from 4/19 PCW on P-SPAN: Main Event for the PCW Women’s Title: ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin (American Heartland Coalition) vs. Emily List (Progressive Alliance) vs. Code Pink (Progressive Alliance)
Pelosi climbs into the ring with a steel folding chair and sneaks behind Tessa. Tessa turns around and sees her. KRC rushes at the Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl, Tessa sidesteps KRC’s charge and Pelosi gets crunched in the corner. This brings out both the Angry Left Wing Bloggers (Daily Kos, Media Matters, Eric Alterman, and Paul Krugman) and Domination Inc. But before either group can make it to the ring, they end up brawling outside the ring with each other. In the chaos, Tessa Pizza Cutters Emily List and grabs the pin.

Pelosi: “Last week, that trailer trash redneck Andrea Doria and Politically Incorrect interfered with Emily List and Code Pink as they were trying to win the PCW Women’s Title. As a result, the extremists from the American Heartland Coalition won.” Garofalo: “Let’s be very honest about what this is about. It’s not about bashing the Progressive Alliance. The American Heartland Coalition doesn’t support PCW CEO Barack Obama because they’re straight up racists. They’re nothing more but a bunch of teabagging rednecks just like former CEO George W was.” Suave: “WOW! Where did THAT come from? She has a right to her opinion but come on, that was hate filled bile.” PCW Women’s Champion ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin comes out. Suave: “I wonder what the PCW Champion is going say about this.” Tessa looks at Garofolo and Pelosi distainfully. She mouths ‘you’re not worth it’ and leaves.

The crowd cheers as Tessa walks back to the dressing room. Suave: “ALL RIGHT! THE PCW EXTREME PIZZA DELIVERY GIRL AGAIN DOESN’T DIGNIFY PELOSI OR GAROFALO WITH A RESPONSE…HOLD ON! WHAT IN HEAVEN’S NAME IS SKANK MITCHELL DOING IN THE RING?” Skank gets into the ring with Pelosi and Garofalo. Skank: “Everybody knows that today is Earth Day.” Pelosi and Garofalo applaud. Skank: “But what about the moon. Our celestrial neighbor that circles us? How come we don’t have a day for the moon?” Suave: “YEAH! Why not?” Pelosi and Garofalo now look confused. Skank: “So here’s what I propose. I think we oughta celebrate MOON day as well.” Suave: “Okay. I’m all for that, I guess.” Skank: “So…here we go.” Skank turns his back and pulls down his pants. Suave: “HOLY CRAP!” Pelosi and Garofalo become disgusted and quickly exit the ring. The crowd gives Skank a standing ovation.

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UPCOMING SHOWS:PCW would like to highlight other e-federations who are out there. Check them out:

XWW presents Saturday night Carnage
April 25, 2009 all day – XWW arena Elimira N.Y.

SWF Superstar Showcase
April 25, 2009 from 7pm to 10pm – SWF Arena in Orlando, FL

WTF Intensity
April 26, 2009 from 9pm to 11pm – WTF Headquarters

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The Titan Zone

A social network about e-wrestling. Meet and get to know the Titans of the e-wrestling world!

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MATCH #1
BIG MONSTER WAHLIE…aka BMW w/Cadillac, Jaguar, and Rough Justice: D.B. Ruff and Connor Justice (Domination Inc.) vs.
MICHAEL HUNT of ‘Guys with Unfortunate Last Names Given Their First Name (Island of Misfit Wrestlers)
Suave: “Okay. It’s the in-ring debut of Domination Inc’s newest Weapon of Mass Destruction- the seven foot monster Big Monster Wahlie. Poor Michael Hunt.” Bell rings. Hunt tries to stay away from Big Monster. Suave: “Hunt, trying to steer clear of the big guys paws…and no. Big body slam by Big Monster. OW! He stomps away at Hunt who tries to crawl to the ropes…but Big Monster drags him right back to the middle. He pulls Hunt to his feet, spins him around and lifts him up…ELECTRIC CHAIR FACEBUSTER! HOLY CRAP! ONE…TWO…THREE.”

WINNER: BIG MONSTER WAHLIE

“That was quick. OH NO…WAIT A MINUTE! BIG MONSTER HAS HIM UP AGAIN… OHHHHHHH ANOTHER ELECTRIC CHAIR FACEBUSTER! AND I THINK HUNT’S KNOCKED OUT!” The referee tries to wave Big Monster off. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! ELECTRIC CHAIR FACEBUSTER TO THE REFEREE! BIG MONSTER’S GONE NUTS AND WHY HAVEN’T CADILLAC OR JAGUAR OR ROUGH JUSTICE DONE ANYTHING TO STOP THIS?”

Suave:

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BACKSTAGE

Hy Drogen Bomb and Incendiary Bomb confer with their manager, S.M. Art Bomb. A somber looking and nervous Daisy Cutter-Bomb walks in. H-Bomb sees her. H-Bomb: “What the hell do you want?” Daisy: “Look, I…I was kinda hoping that you and A-Bomb and I-Bomb and N-Bomb would forgive me for what I did. I’m…sorry…very, very sorry.” H-Bomb: “Do you think that you can just walk in here, say you’re sorry for turning on your own family and stabbing us in the back by working for Mr. McMann, and think everything’s going to just be hunky dorey?” Daisy: “No…” Tears appear in her eyes. Daisy: “I’m sorry, H-Bomb. What I did was wrong and I know that now.” H-Bomb: “Daisy, I don’t know. I’ll think about it. Now, if you’ll excuse us, we’ve got a match in a little while.

Suave: “Last week, Daisy Cutter-Bomb’s former 3 Amigas partners Tequila Sheila and Tessa Martin spurned her, just walked away from her when she asked to join the American Heartland Coalition. But when we’re talking about family…well? That may be a whole different story. More to come on this I’m sure.”

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ISLAND OF MISFIT WRESTLERS LOCKER ROOM
A very woozy Michael Hunt sits on a bench with a bag of eye on his face. The rest of the Island of Misfit Wrestlers (Jimmy from So Cal- Jim Rome clone wannabee, Snott Flemmstein, Richard Headd of ‘Guys With Unfortunate First Names Given Their Surname,’ Dredd Pirate Douggie, Dick Van Dam, and Dr. Ivan Rectum- Fighting Proctologist) stand dejectedly in the locker room.

A guy wearing sunglasses and a tacky sports coat walks in. MAN: “Look at this dressing room. I see dead people. Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.” Jimmy: “Who are you?” MAN: “I’m Movie Classic. Listen to them. Children of the night. What music they make?” Snott: “What. Listen to children do what? What are you talking about?” DVD: “Really. Just leave us alone to our fate.” Dredd Pirate Dougie: “War’s over, man. Dr. Bill dropped the big one on us.” Movie Classic: “Over? Did you say “over”? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!” Richard Headd: “Germans?” Dr. Rectum: “Shhhh, he’s rolling.” Movie Classic: “And it ain’t over now. ‘Cause when the goin’ gets tough…” A long pause follows. The Island of Misfit Wrestlers wait…and wait…and wait for him to finish the sentence. Movie Classic: “…the the tough get goin’! Who’s with me? Let’s go!” Movie Classic bounds out of the locker room- no one follows him.

Then he returns. Movie Classic: “What the f*** happened to the Island of Misfit Wrestlers I used to watch? Where’s the spirit? Where’s the guts, huh? This could be the greatest night of our lives, but you’re gonna let it be the worst. “Ooh, we’re afraid to go with you Movie Classic, we might get our asses kicked again. Well just kiss my ass from now on! Not me! I’m not gonna take this. Dr. Bill, he’s a dead man! SNAFU, dead! Domination Inc… Dr. Ivan Rectum stands up. Dr. Rectum: DEAD! Movie Classic’s right. Psychotic, but absolutely right. We gotta take these bastards. Now we could do it with conventional weapons that could take years and cost millions of lives. No, I think we have to go all out. I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody’s part.” The other members of the Island of Misfit Wrestlers nod in agreement. Richard Headd: “And we’re just the guys to do it!” DVD: “LET’S DO IT!” Movie Classic: “LET’S DO IT!”

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Suave: “O-kay. And speaking of Dr. Bill. This is what he had to say Sunday night about abandoning the Island of Misfit Wrestlers.

REPLAY from 4/19 PCW on P-SPAN: Dr. Bill’s Explanation to PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein concerning the Island of Misfit Wrestlers.
“Failure is no accident. You cannot be who and what you are unless you have a lifestyle, both internally and externally, that is designed to support that definition of self. I tried to raise up the Island of Misfit Wrestlers. I did the best I could. But in the end, a defining moment is much like a burn. If you lean up against a hot stove, in less than a second the event is over. But the pain can last for weeks, months. The Island of Misfit Wrestlers have to learn from these tough moments and it will make them better.”

MATCH #2
SNAFU w/Dr. Bill (Independent) vs.
NEWT TRON BOMB w/S.M. Art Bomb (American Patriots)
Suave: “SNAFU trying to get himself in line for a shot at the PCW Television Title. N-Bomb looking for a rematch for the title after giving Champion ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido everything he could handle and more. There’s the bell. They lockup. N-Bomb gets driven down with a shove off the ropes. Forearm by SNAFU. N-Bomb avoids SNAFU and counters with a drop toe hold. SNAFU charges the corner and nails N-Bomb with a missile kick. SNAFU throws N-Bomb down hard. N-Bomb gets the boot up on a second charge and spins SNAFU back. N-Bomb tries to move around for a headscissors. YOW! Back kick to the groin by SNAFU.” N-Bomb is bent over. SNAFU climbs up the turnbuckle. Suave: “There he goes…YES! GUILLOTINE LEG DROP FROM THE TOP ROPE!” A PCW chant breaks out.

Suave: “SNAFU looking very good so far. It looks like the hours of studying Sabu’s ECW matches is starting to pay off. N-Bomb locked in a cobra clutch now and tries to escape. Short arm clothesline now by SNAFU. N-Bomb reverses and locks in a chinlock. HOLY CRAP! ANOTHER GROIN SHOT BY SNAFU. SPINNING NECKBREAKER! SNAFU chucks N-Bomb in the corner. DOUBLE KNEE SMASH! N-BOMB IS IN TROUBLE! MOONSAULT PRESS ON THE WAY…NAILED IT! COVER. ONE…TWO…N-BOMB GETS HIS SHOULDER UP!” Dr. Bill slides a chair in the ring. Suave: “SNAFU sets the chair up for the Triple Jump Moonsault. WAIT A MINUTE! HOLY CRAP! JIMMY FROM SO CAL JUST PUSHED SNAFU OFF TH ROPES!” Movie Classic comes up to Dr. Bill. Movie Classic: “Say hello to my little friends!” Richard Headd, Snott Flemmstein, and Dredd Pirate Douggie tackle Dr. Bill.

Suave: “IT’S THE ISLAND OF MISFIT WRESTLERS! THEY’RE PUMMELING DR. BILL!” SNAFU is up and staggers towards the ring. Suave: “S.M. ART BOMB THROWS SNAFU BACK IN THE RING. N-BOMB STICK HIS BUTT IN HIS FACE. OOOOOHHHH! ICK! SILENT BUT DEADLY! SILENT BUT DEADLY! N-BOMB COVERS. ONE. TWO. THREE!”

WINNER: NEWT TRON BOMB

Suave: “Movie Classic leads the Island of Misfit Wrestlers to get their revenge on Dr. Bill for leading them to be slaughtered by Domination Inc. last Sunday. AND THEY’RE NOT DONE YET! THEY’VE SET UP A TABLE AND DRAPED DR. BILL ON IT. DVD TO THE TOP ROPE. HE JUMPS. HE MISSES! OW! ALL RIGHT, HERE’S DREDD PIRATE DOUGGIE. *CRUNCH* HOLY CRAP!” Dr. Bill is driven through the table. Another PCW chant starts up.

BACKSTAGE
Janeane Garofalo lies face down on the floor with the letter ‘W’ spray painted on her back. Paul Krugman, Daily Kos, and Eric Alterman attend to her.

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The E-Wrestling Magazine is the home for all the latest news on e-federations all across the country. Check out the latest stories:

Just Wrestling: The Silver Lining Monday, 20 April 2009 (/)
Dream Wrestling Talent Names Leaked Monday, 20 April 2009 (/)
Seven Random Roleplays 04.19.09 Monday, 20 April 2009 (/)
THE HYPE Monday, 20 April 2009 (/)
SWF Superstar Showcase Preview Monday, 20 April 2009 (/)
4/19-PCW on P-SPAN: Al Franken and Norm Coleman Next Sunday in a Hardcore Barbed Wire Deathmatch Sunday, 19 April 2009 (/)
SWF Superstar Showcase Saturday, 18 April 2009 (/)
4/17-Political Championship Wrestling Newsline Friday, 17 April 2009 (/)
Fans Wrestling Organization reAction Report Friday, 17 April 2009 (/)
William aka Zortalk 04.16.09

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Fed Wars.org - Fed Wars is an interfed promotion currently run by Ben Halkum. There are a number of e-feds already involved in this project. There’s going to be a Unified Championship tournament that looks HUGE and a Platinum Prestige Championship match Shawn FX is probably going to win.

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REPLAY from 4/19-PCW on P-SPAN: Franken/Coleman Brawl
Progressive Alliance personality Al Franken arrives outside the arena with P.A. Executive Director Tim Kaine. Franken smiles until he’s attacked from the air by Norm Coleman leaping from the roof of a car. Coleman slams Franken’s head into the driver’s side car window and shatters the glass…

…PCW Owner Bubba Jackson makes a surprise appearance. Jackson takes the microphone and states he’s tired of Coleman and Franken dragging this on and on and on. Jackson: “I could make a ruling on Coleman’s appeal to me but I think I have a better idea. Next week on PCW on P-SPAN, we will have in our main event Norm Coleman of the American Patriots versus Al Franken of the Progressive Alliance to settle their differences once and for all in a Hardcore Barbed Wire Deathmatch!”

Suave: Sunday night on PCW on P-SPAN from Minneapolis. Al Franken and Norm Coleman once and for all in a Hardcore Barbed Wire Deathmatch. You just get the feeling that Coleman just doesn’t take Franken seriously. Yet, he keeps losing to him. Hang on…the Angry Left Wing Bloggers are in the ring.” Daily Kos: “American Heartland Coalition. Get your asses out here right now! W’s flunkies! You, too.” Suave: “Whoa. He’s calling out both the A.H.C. and W’s Image Rehab and Truth Squad.” PCW Women’s Champion ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin leads out the American Heartland Coalition. ‘The Mastermind’ Karl Rove comes out with Andrew Card, Dana Perino, and Ari Fleischer. Daily Kos: “All right. You, Tessa Martin, are in co-hoots with Rove and his band of extremists.” Tessa: “You know, I’ve just about had enough of you and your whacked out friends. You’ve come out here the last two weeks and accused the American Heartland Coalition of things that are flat out lies. You guys make me sick. You can take your-” Suave: “THAT’S JANEANE GAROFALO! SHE JUST TACKLED TESSA MARTIN AND WE HAVE OURSELVES A CAT-FIIIIIIGHT! CAT-FIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT! ALL HELL’S BROKEN LOOSE! THE ANGRY LEFT WING BLOGGERS AND THE AMERICAN HEARTLAND COALITION ARE GOING AT IT!” PCW Security Director Dawn McGill comes in again to restore order.

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UPCOMING EVENTS:
4/24- PCW Newsline
4/26- PCW on P-SPAN
4/29- PCW Extreme Political TV
5/1- PCW Newsline
5/3- PCW on P-SPAN
5/6- PCW Extreme Political TV
5/8- PCW Newsline
5/10- PCW on P-SPAN
5/13- PCW Extreme Political TV

6/7- PCW Loose Cannons Unleashed IV

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MATCH #3- MAIN EVENT
HY DROGEN BOMB and INCENDIARY BOMB w/S.M. Art Bomb (American Patriots) vs.
‘The Raving Rednecks’ LOCKE AND LOADE (SarahPAC)
Suave: “Hold on to your hats, this one’s going to be a Pier 6 brawl. H-Bomb and Gary Locke to start. H-Bomb grabs the upper hand. Locke avoids a charge in the corner. I-Bomb grabs him… and throws him outside the ring….hold on…this just in. Sunday night, PCW Women’s champion ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin (American Heartland Coalition) will meet Janeane Garofalo (Progressive Alliance) in a Steel Cage Deathmatch Sunday night on PCW on P-SPAN.”

Locke rams H-Bomb’s head into the corner turnbuckle. Suave: “They’re still just slugging it out. H-Bomb crotches Locke on the handrail and slides him down it! HOLD ON! WE’VE GOT TO GO TO THE BACK…”

BACKSTAGE
In the back, Dick Cheney hovers over the prone bodies of the four Angry Left Wing Bloggers with a barbed wire covered baseball bat. Fleischer, Perino, and Card stand behind him. Dick: “Sometimes, harsh techniques produces results. Sometimes, you have to take it to the extreme.”

Suave: “Meanwhile…LOADE’S GOT A SUNSET FLIP! One…Two…NO! Just barely kicked out. LOCKE’S IN THE RING! YESSSSS! REDNECK 4-D DEATH BOMB! COVER. ONE…TWO…IT’S DAISY CUTTER-BOMB! SHE’S IN THE RING AND…HOLY CRAP! SHE JUST KICKED THE CRAP OUT OF LOADE! HOLD ON! I-BOMB HAS LOCKE ON THE TOP ROPE…YES! BLUNT FORCE TRAUMA! BLUNT FORCE TRAUMA! COVER. ONE. TWO. THREE!

WINNER: H-BOMB and I-BOMB

Suave: “DAISY CUTTER-BOMB JUST SAVED THE DAY FOR I-BOMB AND H-BOMB! WE’LL FIND OUT SOON ENOUGH IF HER FAMILY IS WILLING TO TAKE HER BACK IN. WE’LL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK.”

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Other political stories about:
Nancy Pelosi: Loud and Clear, Eat It or Wear It, The Conservative Republic, CNN, DPGI, Hot Air, NY Times, Howie Rich, Politico

Janeane Garofalo: Village Voice, Cinie’s World, CSM, Let Freedom Rain, Guffy Conservative, Aiken Area Progressive, The Right Side, Associated Content, Mary Kay Cary, Start Thinking Right,

Franken and Coleman: Politico, NY Times, Huff Post, Twin Cities.com, Huff Post, Minnesota Independent