American Trucker and Average Joe (American Heartland Coalition) vs. Mr. Jaundice and Captain Nausea (Island of Misfit Wrestlers)/Big Monster Wahlie (Domination Inc.) vs. Snott Flemmstein (Island of Misfit Wrestlers)/#1 Contender’s Match for the PCW Women’s Title
4/29-PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV from the Palace of Political Extreme- PCW Hall in Archbold, Ohio
HOSTS: Johnny Suave and his life size cardboard cut-out of Shania Twain
Crowd: “PCW…PCW…PCW!” Suave: “HELLO AND WELCOME TO PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV! I’M JOHNNY SUAVE. THIS HOT PIECE OF CARDBOARD IS SHANIA TWAIN! THE WRESTLING WORD IS STILL BUZZING OVER WHAT TOOK PLACE SUNDAY NIGHT ON PCW ON P-SPAN. IF YOU MISSED IT, HERE’S WHAT HAPPENED…”
Suave: “TESSA MARTIN GETS THE WIN AND…NOW WHAT? DICK CHENEY WANTS TO SHAKE TESSA’S HAND NOW? IS HE NUTS?” Dick thrusts his hand out to Tessa. Tessa looks around the crowd and gauges their response. Dick: “Shake my f***ing hand!” Tessa’s eyes widen. Then she Pizza Cutters Dick. The crowd explodes. Suave: “PIZZA CUTTER! PIZZA CUTTER! TESSA JUST PIZZA CUTTER’D DICK…NOW SHE’S BEING ATTACKED BY W’S IMAGE REHAB AND TRUTH SQUAD!” Card, Perino, Fleisher, and Rove beat down Tessa. ‘The Queen of Political Extreme’ Ann Coulter and former PCW Women’s Champion Hallie Burton enter the cage. Coulter grabs Garofalo and handcuffs her to the side of the cage. Suave: “WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? THE QUEEN OF POLITICAL EXTREME ANN COULTER HAS HANDCUFFED JANEANE GAROFALO TO THE CAGE. AND NOW, ARI FLEISCHER AND ANDREW CARD HAVE BROUGHT IN A BARREL FULL OF WATER? AND A BOARD? Oh…no.” Burton pulls Tessa up and drapes her on the board. Perino handcuffs Tessa’s arms behind her back around the board and Fleischer and Card lower her into the water. Suave: “NO! STOP THEM! THAT’S NOT RIGHT!” Lamb: “My God. Are they actually…waterboarding her?” Suave: “WHAT THE HELL DOES IT LOOK LIKE, BRIAN?” Suave jumps on top of the announcer’s table. Suave: “DICK, THIS IS WRONG! STOP IT!” Dick sneers at Suave and has a microphone.
Dick: “Of course you would think that way, Suave. Because you’re weak. You all are weak! When you face an enemy, do you worry about piddly little minute details such as the Geneva Convention?” Coulter takes a steel chair and blasts Garofalo with it. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! SHE’S KNOCKED OUT!” Dick: “F*** no! You do what you have to do to win. To project strength and to deter those who would harm you.” Pelosi, Harry Reid, and Steny Hoyer run to the ring. Dick flips them off. Suave: “THIS IS JUST WRONG!” The board is pulled out of the barrel of water and laid on the canvas. Cheney, Card, Rove, Perino, etal then exit the cage. Dick again flips off Pelosi etal as they smugly walk to the back. Nurse Nellie and the PCW Clean Up Crew quickly enter the ring and attend to Garofalo and Tessa.
Suave: “So the question is-” Female voice: “HOLD ON! HOLD ON JUST A MINUTE!” Nancy Pelosi walks out and heads towards the ring with a grinning Al Franken. Suave: “THERE’S AL FRANKEN WHO WON THAT BRUTAL HARDCORE BARBED WIRE DEATHMATCH OVER NORM COLEMAN SUNDAY NIGHT.” Franken is bandaged up from the match. Pelosi and Franken enter the ring. Pelosi: Hold on just a moment! Now, before I get to Dick Cheney and waterboarding, can we all give it up for Al Franken?” Polite applause. Pelosi: “Didn’t he do a great job in defeating once and for all- Norm Coleman?” More polite applause. Pelosi: “I think so. With Al Franken winning Sunday night and the news today that longtime stalwart of the American Patriots, Arlen Specter finally got tired of Rush Limbaugh running the show and joined the Progressive Alliance, it’s been a great week for the Progressive Alliance.”
Dick Cheney and the rest of W’s Image Rehab and Truth Squad- “The Mastermind” Karl Rove, Dana Perino, Ari Fleischer, and Andrew Card, appear and they head to the ring. Twenty-five percent of the audience cheers. The rest boo. They climb into the ring. Rove keeps pointing to his temple to make sure everyone knows he’s a friggin’ genius. Cheney: “Oh boo-f***-ing hoo. Where is he?” Pelosi: “Where is who?” Cheney: “Where is that two-timing ***** ******* traitor Arlen Specter? If you see him, tell him I’ve got a ticket for him.” Pelosi: “A ticket?” Cheney: “That’s right. A ticket. A one way ticket to what I like to call- Club Gitmo.” The lights shine on the side of PCW Hall and illuminate a pool of water and a board on the side to lower someone in. More boos roll in. Cheney: “Just like Janeane Garofalo found out last week. Just like ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin found out last week. Just like Arlen Specter is going to find out THIS week.” Cheney pauses for more boos. Cheney: “If you’re not with us, you’re against us. Arlen Specter…where ever you’re hiding…if you can’t stand the heat…we’ll, don’t worry…I’VE got something that’ll cool you right off.” Cheney points to the waterboarding device inside ‘Club Gitmo.’
Pelosi: “I think that’s terrible! They should lock you up, Dick Cheney, for waterboarding Tessa Martin last week.” Cheney: “Nancy, with all due respect, you’ve known that we were going to use waterboarding for quite a long time.” Pelosi: W-what? That’s simply not true. I’ve never been a part of any briefing where the subject of waterboarding-”
Pelosi, Harry Reid, and Steny Hoyer representing the Progressive Alliance, and Mitch McConnell and John Boehner of the American Patriots sit at a table with Cheney, Rove, and Don Rumsfeld. Pelosi: “So…the consensus is that because PCW has already allowed chloroform, jumper cables, tasers, cattle prods, that we’re going to allow powerful drugs that are transmitted by touch that cause temporary paralysis?” Everyone murmurs yes. Pelosi: “Okay. Motion carried.” Cheney: “Nancy, any objection to the use of waterboarding in PCW events?” Pelosi: “That’s fine. Whatever. Next?
Pelosi’s jaw drops. Cheney: “Now, madame speaker. If you don’t mind, we need to engage in a man hunt for Mr. Specter.”
Suave: “Well. That can’t be good. Last week on PCW Extreme Political TV, we had the successful debut of Movie Classic, who’ll be taking over the reins of the Island of Misfit Wrestlers group.
REPLAY: LAST WEEK’S PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV:
ISLAND OF MISFIT WRESTLERS LOCKER ROOM
…A guy wearing sunglasses and a tacky sports coat walks in. MAN: “Look at this dressing room. I see dead people. Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.” Jimmy: “Who are you?” MAN: “I’m Movie Classic. Listen to them. Children of the night. What music they make?” Snott: “What. Listen to children do what? What are you talking about?” DVD: “Really. Just leave us alone to our fate.” Dredd Pirate Dougie: “War’s over, man. Dr. Bill dropped the big one on us.” Movie Classic: “Over? Did you say “over”? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!” Richard Headd: “Germans?” Dr. Rectum: “Shhhh, he’s rolling.” Movie Classic: “And it ain’t over now. ‘Cause when the goin’ gets tough…” A long pause follows. The Island of Misfit Wrestlers wait…and wait…and wait for him to finish the sentence. Movie Classic: “…the the tough get goin’! Who’s with me? Let’s go!”
Suave: “SNAFU sets the chair up for the Triple Jump Moonsault. WAIT A MINUTE! HOLY CRAP! JIMMY FROM SO CAL JUST PUSHED SNAFU OFF TH ROPES!” Movie Classic comes up to Dr. Bill. Movie Classic: “Say hello to my little friends!” Richard Headd, Snott Flemmstein, and Dredd Pirate Douggie tackle Dr. Bill.
Suave: “IT’S THE ISLAND OF MISFIT WRESTLERS! THEY’RE PUMMELING DR. BILL!” SNAFU is up and staggers towards the ring. Suave: “S.M. ART BOMB THROWS SNAFU BACK IN THE RING. N-BOMB STICK HIS BUTT IN HIS FACE. OOOOOHHHH! ICK! SILENT BUT DEADLY! SILENT BUT DEADLY! N-BOMB COVERS. ONE. TWO. THREE!”
WINNER: NEWT TRON BOMB
Suave: “Movie Classic leads the Island of Misfit Wrestlers to get their revenge on Dr. Bill for leading them to be slaughtered by Domination Inc. last Sunday. AND THEY’RE NOT DONE YET! THEY’VE SET UP A TABLE AND DRAPED DR. BILL ON IT. DVD TO THE TOP ROPE. HE JUMPS. HE MISSES! OW! ALL RIGHT, HERE’S DREDD PIRATE DOUGGIE. *CRUNCH* HOLY CRAP!” Dr. Bill is driven through the table. Another PCW chant starts up.
MR. JAUNDICE and CAPTAIN NAUSEA w/Movie Classic (Island of Misfit Wrestlers)
vs. AVERAGE JOE and THE AMERICAN TRUCKER w/Tequila Sheila (American Heartland Coalition)
Suave: “This is the debut for Mr. Jaundice and Captain Nausea and they are…um…let’s say…color appropriate. Yellow and green is an interesting mix of colors.” The bell rings. Suave: “Jaundice starts with Average Joe. Joe grabs a wristlock. Jaundice reverses it into an armbar. Joe counters into an armwringer. Jaundice with a takedown. Off the ropes, Jaundice runs into a monkeyflip. Captain Nausea in and hits a drop toehold on Joe. Jaundice with a senton off the ropes on Average Joe.” American Trucker runs in and dropkicks Captain Nausea and sends him outside.
Suave: “Jaundice whips Average Joe into the corner and tags in Captain Nausea. Neckbreaker by Nausea for two. He locks in a chinlock, but Average Joe elbows out. Nausea goes for a back suplex. American Trucker in the ring…he clips the legs. Average Joe falls on top of him for a cover. One…two…no. Jaundice makes the save! American Trucker charges into a back elbow. Jaundice off the top rope…and he runs right into a dropkick! Average Joe covers. One…two-shoulder up. Backdrop by Average Joe. He’s got Jaundice up…SPINEBUSTER! Average Joe covers. One, two, no! Jaundice kicks out. Average Joe gets backdropped to the apron. Captain Nausea elbows him to the floor. Double-team on American Trucker….DOUBLE TEAM SUPLEX! Cover…HERE COMES SNAFU!”
SNAFU slides in the ring with a steel folding chair. *CLANG* Suave: “HE JUST NAILED CAPTAIN NAUSEA! MOVIE CLASSIC IN THE RING. *CLANG* HOLY CRAP! SCHOOLBOY ROLL-UP ON JAUNDICE BY AMERICAN TRUCKER! ONE…TWO…THREE!”
WINNER: AMERICAN TRUCKER and AVERAGE JOE
Dr. Bill comes out and smirks. He nods approvingly and he and SNAFU walk to the back.
Just Wrestling’s What Next? Tour: It Goes There Tuesday, 28 April 2009 (/)
Interview with Ron Meischker this Thursday Tuesday, 28 April 2009 (/)
4/26- PCW on P-SPAN: Coleman vs. Franken in Barbed Wire Deathmatch, Plus Women’s Cage Match Sunday, 26 April 2009 (/)
Dream Wrestling Plans DVD Release of 18 DWF Pay Per Views Sunday, 26 April 2009 (/)
2 new free poser shots Sunday, 26 April 2009 (/)
2 Posers by Eric for EWZine Release Sunday, 26 April 2009 (/)
Eight Random Roleplays 04.26.09 Sunday, 26 April 2009 (/)
SWF LIVE (Full Report) Sunday, 26 April 2009 (/)
Dreamwrestling.com Exclusive Web Show Airs! Saturday, 25 April 2009 (/)
4/25-PCW Extra: The Coleman/Franken Feud Saturday, 25 April 2009 (/)
All-Star Championship Wrestling 4/16/09 Report Friday, 24 April 2009 (/)
Dreamwrestling.com to Air Two Matches Sunday! Friday, 24 April 2009 (/)
The Big Shot 04.23.09 Thursday, 23 April 2009 (/)
BOB: Total Non-Action Wrestling iMPLOSION! #20 Results! Thursday, 23 April 2009 (/)
Suave: “Okay, we’re back on PCW Extreme Political TV. It looks like Dick Cheney and the W’s Image Rehab and Truth Squad are hot on the trail of Arlen Specter…”
Cheney, Rove, Perino, Card, and Fleischer prowl the hallways looking for Specter.
Suave: “We’ll catch up with them a little later. One guy who’s easy to find is headed to the ring right now. The seven foot Weapon of Mass Destruction- Big Monster Wahlie!”
‘The 7 Foot Tall Weapon of Mass Destruction’ BIG MONSTER WAHLIE w/Rough Justice: D.B. Ruff and Connor Justice (Domination Inc.)
vs. SNOTT FLEMMSTEIN w/Movie Classic (Island of Misfit Wrestlers)
Suave: “It may just be me, but I just don’t see an upset taking place here.” Movie Classic takes a good look at Big Monster Wahlie. Movie Classic: “Man, I’d hate to take a bite outta you. You’re a cookie full of arsenic!” Big Monster growls and Movie Classic wisely evacuates the ring. Suave: “And there’s the bell. Flemmstein’s going for the stream of snot offense from his nose. Yeah…doesn’t work. Oooh. Big body slam by Big Monster. OW! He stomps away at Flemmstein who tries to reach the ropes…but Big Monster drags him right back to the middle. He pulls Flemmstein to his feet, spins him around and lifts him up…ELECTRIC CHAIR FACEBUSTER! HOLY CRAP! ONE…TWO…THREE.”
Suave: “Once again, that was quick. OH. HERE WE GO AGAIN…BIG MONSTER HAS FLEMMSTEIN UP AGAIN… OHHHHHHH ANOTHER ELECTRIC CHAIR FACEBUSTER! The referee tries to wave Big Monster off. Suave: “ELECTRIC CHAIR FACEBUSTER TO THE REFEREE! HOLY CRAP! ANOTHER ELECTRIC CHAIR FACEBUSTER TO FLEMMSTEIN!” ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann enters the ring. McMann: “Come on PCW. Is this the best you’ve got? Where’s O’Beck Bahama hiding this week? Where’s the great PCW Champion at? Domination Inc. is back on track. Now that I’ve disposed of the mole and all the dead weight slowing us down, Domination Inc. is poised to become THE force in Political Championship Wrestling.” Suave: “Mr. McMann feeling pretty good after Big Monster Wahlie disposes of Snott Flemmstein.”
Cheney, Rove, Card, Perino, and Fleischer continue to scour the dressing rooms looking for Arlen Specter.
PCW would like to highlight shows from other great e-federations who are out there. Check them out:
5/3- PCW on P-SPAN
5/6- PCW Extreme Political TV
5/8- PCW Newsline
5/10- PCW on P-SPAN
5/13- PCW Extreme Political TV
5/22- PCW Newsline
Suave: “Well, our main event is a three-way dance to become the new #1 contender for the PCW Women’s title.” The bell rings. Suave: “There’s the bell and…WAIT A MINUTE! THAT’S PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPIONS ‘EXTREME PIZZA DELIVERY GIRL’ TESSA MARTIN! *WHAP* HOLY CRAP! SHE JUST TOOK OUT HALLIE BURTON WITH HER OVERSIZED PIZZA BOX! *WHAP* DOWN GOES KARL ROVE! TESSA THROWS BURTON INTO THE RING…PIZZA CUTTER! PIZZA CUTTER! THE WOMEN’S CHAMPION SLIDES OUT OF THE RING AND IT’S GOING TO BE…KRC. SHE COVERS. ONE…TWO…THREE!”
HALLIE BURTON ELIMINATED
Suave: “WAIT! THE ‘EXTREME PIZZA DELIVERY GIRL’ ISN’T DONE YET. SHE’S BACK IN THE RING AND PULLS BURTON TO THE OUTSIDE APRON. SHE MOTIONS THE RING GUY TO GET OUT OF THE WAY. OH…NO…SHE’S NOT GOING TO…YES SHE IS…” Tessa Pizza Cutters Hallie Burton right through the table. Suave: “HOLY CRAP!” Tessa turns towards Rove who wisely vacates the ring area. Suave: “Tessa Martin is furious and she’s not going to stop until she gets her hands on Dick Cheney. HOLD ON! THAT’S KALEE JONES-THE ESKIMO QUEEN AND THE ALASKAN PITBULL SARAH PALIN! WHAT ARE THEY DOING OUT HERE?” Kalee hits the ring and Eskimo Piefaces KRC. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! The Eskimo Queen caught KRC totally by surprise. AGAIN! THIS TIME IT’S MERCEDES! PORSCHE LEXUS RUNS IN…ESKIMO PIEFACE! ROUGH JUSTICE! *THWACK* PALIN JUST DECAPITATED D.B. RUFF WITH HOCKEY STICK! HOLY FREAKIN’ CRAP! CARVILLE AND BEGALA IN THE RING. OWWWWWWW! PALIN JUST CRACKED HER HOCKEY STICK ON CARVILLE’S HEAD. IT’S TOTALLY OUT OF CONTROL NOW! DICK CHENEY HUNTING DOWN ARLEN SPECTER! KALEE JONES PISSED BECAUSE SHE WASN’T INCLUDED IN THE #1 CONTENDER’S MATCH. LOTS OF ISSUES OUTSTANDING. WE’LL SEE YOU SUNDAY NIGHT ON PCW ON P-SPAN!”
Other political stories about:
Nancy Pelosi: The Daley Gator, Eat It or Wear It, McNorman’s Blog, Chronicler55, Joint Effort, DPGI, Sister Toldjah, CNN, Michelle Malkin, Firedog Lake, Wake Up America, The HIll, Lonely Conservative, Right Voices, Steny Hoyer,
Arlen Specter: CNN, National Review, Tim Hadachek’s Blog, Popeolitics, Firedog Lake, Gero’s Blog, Huff Post, Constitution Sentinel, Gawker, BackChannel Blog, Pushing Rope, Daley Gator, Huff Post, News from My Corner, Michelle Malkin, Wintery Knight Blog, Huff Post, Reason,
Sarah Palin: Mudflats,
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