6/28-PCW Newsline- part 2

6/28-PCW NEWSLINE with Gina Ramsey

Breaking news to report…

Miss USA, late of the Dream Wrestling Federation and High Octane Wrestling appears to be headed to Political Championship Wrestling.

Owner Lee Best confirmed on HOW’s website that the contract of Miss USA had been purchased by an unnamed company.

I just confirmed the following: 

-Miss USA will be at PCW Extreme Political TV July 15th. 

-PCW CEO Barack Obama will address the issue live from Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon Wednesday night. 

Also, former PCW Women’s Champion Tessa Martin will begin an exclusive 2 part interview with Miss USA tonight on EW Torch’s TorchCenter.

——————

From our friends over at Dream Wrestling Federation:

-Eleven past Dream Wrestling Federation Pay Per View events have been uploaded for live streaming 24/7 bringing the grand total to sixteen shows. Re-live the glory days of the DWF through these historic moments. To celebrate, we will be airing classic PPV matches and moments through out the coming weeks on Sunday Night Slaughter!

-DWF’s Sunday Night Slaughter-Episode IX
Live from the Bi-Lo Center in Greenville, South Carolina.
June 28th, 2009 – Only on DTN

The ‘Path to Glory’ continues.

Slaughter Line Up
—————————–

Lupin Cy versus Havoc

T-Money versus Pierce versus Antonio Lopez versus S.G. Martins versus Buzz Krueger versus Havoc
Over the Top Rope Elimination Match

Owen Manton versus Myles Jake

Mike Polowy versus Eric Payne

Jak Nemesis versus Level-One

Rich Mahogany versus Team Danger
Handicap Match

6/26-Political Championship Wrestling Newsline

6/26-PCW NEWSLINE
 
-New Night for PCW Newsline starting July 19th
-Recap of PCW Extreme Political TV
-PCW Wrestlers Ranked in WWR’s Top 35
-PCW Rankings, Upcoming PCW Schedule
 

“Hey y ‘all. It’s Gina Ramsey here with the last PCW newsline for a couple weeks.

 

No, we’re not going to disappear and turn up in Argentina having an extramarital affair like a certain South Carolina governor, we’re just taking a much needed break to reload as we head into season #5. PCW Newsline will be moving to it’s new night on Sundays starting July 19th. As usual, lots of things going on in PCW so let’s get right to it…”

RECAP OF PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV

PCW CEO Barack Obama’s Office
-The newly minted Total Eliminators (Cadillac, Jaguar, Mercedes, and Porsche Lexus) invade PCW CEO Barack Obama’s office along with Jack and Bull Schett and demand to wrestle live on the show. Obama asks the Schetts if they go along with the idea, they do, and the PCW CEO makes the match.

From our good friends at High Octane Wrestling :
 
WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
Issac Slade vs. Aceldama©
ICON CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
Maximillian Kael vs. Shane Reynolds©
HALL OF FAME RESPECT IS EARNED MATCH
Mark O’Neal vs. Darkwing
*
—————————
*
JACK SCHETT and BULL SCHETT w/Horst Schett and their pet dog- Hans Gruber, the Extreme German Schnauzer (Ron Paul’s New Libertarian Army)vs.CADILLAC and JAGUAR w/Mercedes and Porsche Lexus (The New Eliminators)
-The Schett’s get the win with a little help from big brother Horst Schett and Hans Gruber- the Extreme German Schnauzer who distracts Cadillac while Bull delivers the Schett-Brick to Jaguar.
*
CATCH THE LATEST NEWS ON PCW AND OTHER GREAT E-FEDERATIONS AT THESE SITES:
E-Wresting Torch- E-Fed Television, Pay-Per-View, and Classic show reviews
E-Wrestling Magazine- The home for all the latest e-federation news throughout the country
E-Wrestling Nexus- The newest E-Wrestling hotspot to catch up on the latest news, cards, and e-wrestlers in the e-wrestling world
*
State of PCW Address
PCW CEO Barack Obama and his aide de camp Joe Biden (Biden’s locked in a portable closet to keep him out of trouble) come out to address the roster and the fans gathered at Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon.
*
-Obama notes the state of PCW is strong and puts over the PCW Competition Committee and the bookers. The crowd starts chanting for former PCW Security Director Dawn McGill who was released the day before.
*
-The American Trucker (American Heartland Coalition) questions why the smaller factions took the brunt of the releases. Obama tries to answer but another ‘Bring Back Dawn’ chant erupts. Then a fly bothers Obama. He gets a fly swatter and kills it causing Peta from PETA from the Green World Order to have a conniption. She gives the fly mouth to mouth and rushes it out of the bar.
*
-Andrea Doria, also of the American Heartland Coalition) grills Obama on the cost of the Space Shuttle stunt last week. Obama admits that the stunt will cost PCW millions of dollars and put it in a financial deficit. Andrea: “And just who authorized the idea?” Obama: “The PCW Competition Committee. But-” Andrea: “So typical. The rank and file pay the price for the poor decision making of leadership.” Obama stated that one option they are considering is cutting the divisions in PCW from four to three.
*
-PCW Women’s Champion Kathryn Randall Collins complained that with the release of McGill, former PCW Champion Hallie Burton, and ‘Trailer Park Sweetheart’ Tanya Hardy that she sees the writing on the wall. Obama tries to explain that no decision has been made.
*
-The leader of the Island of Misfit Wrestlers, Movie Classic, then stands and riffs on three classic movies: Network, And Justice For All, and Animal House before leading the Island of Misfit Wrestlers out of the bar while humming the ‘Star Spangled Banner.’
*
-Finally, High Octane Wrestling owner Lee Best barges in demanding to know where Joe Biden is (Biden had made some comments last week about Best’s 40 foot drop from a helicopter in HOW’s War Games’ PPV). Everyone points to the portable closet. Best pushes the portable closet off the stage and through a front row table.
*
-At the end, Best has a beer with the PCW cast.
*
———————
*
PCW WRESTLERS RANKED IN WWR’S TOP 35
*
TOP-10 LADIES E-WRESTLERS
1. Kirsta Lewis HOW, SCCW, TFWF, VWF- 35 pts.
2. Michelle Masters FWO- 23 pts.
3. Bobbinette Carey HOW- 18 pts.
4. Karina Wolfenden FWO- 16 pts.
5. Olivia Quinn Siberian Wrestling- 15 pts.
6. Kathryn Randall Collins PCW- 14 pts.
7. Mary Lynn Mayweather FWO- 12 pts.
8. Callie Urban FWO- 11 pts.
9. Mad Maddie cWo- 10 pts.
10. Miss USA HOW (??)- 8 pts.
*
TOP TEN E-WRESTLING TAG TEAMS
1. Vox Nihili-Alias and Karina Wolfenden FWO- 25 pts.
2. Flying Vergomovs LoC- 20 pts.
3. Ron and Don Connection Hostility- 18 pts.
4. Blitzkrieg Funk LoC- 17 pts.
5. Spike Saunders and Callie Urban FWO- 15 pts.
6. Viking and Andrew O’Reilly WTF- 14 pts.
7. Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit PCW- 13 pts.
8. ‘Superstar’ Vance Jacobs and Rana Venenosa FWO- 12 pts.
9. Team Danger- Stephen Greer and Tyrone Walker DWF- 11 pts.
10. Patrick McCarthy and Scarlett SCCW- 10 pts.

TOP FIFTEEN MEN’S E-WRESTLERS
1. High Flyer FWO- 33 pts.
2. Shawn Hart LoC- 30 pts.
3. Andrei Sorokov Siberian Wrestling- 29 pts.
4. Alias ACW/FWO- 27 pts.
5. ‘The All-Star’ Shawn Anderson WTF- 24 pts.
6. Johnny Serious cWo- 23 pts.
7. Max Danger ACW- 22 pts.
8. Aceldama HOW- 20 pts.
9. Trevor Wilson ACW- 19 pts.
10. Viking WTF- 18 pts.
11. O’Beck Bahama PCW- 17 pts.
12. Shane Reynolds HOW- 16 pts.
13. Johnny Donovan Hostility- 15 pts.
14. Shawn FX GWO/OPW- 14 pts.
15. Brian Spaes ACW- 13 pts

Congratulations to all of our wrestlers (and all the wrestlers) listed on the WWR’s ratings.

—————————–

PCW RANKINGS 

PCW CHAMPION: ‘The New Rookie Sensation’ O’Beck Bahama (Progressive Alliance)
CONTENDERS:
#1- A. Tom Bomb (American Patriots)
#2- Starz N. Stripes (Progressive Alliance)
#3- The Right Reverend Randy Richardson (Extreme Neo-Con Alliance)

PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION: Kathryn Randall Collins (Progressive Alliance)
CONTENDERS:
#1- Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (American Patriots)
#2- Mercedes (Independent)
#3- ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas (American Patriots)

PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit (Dick Cheney’s Extreme Neo-Con Alliance)
CONTENDERS:
#1- ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido and Starz N. Stripes (Progressive Alliance)
#2- Jack Schett and Bull Schett (Ron Paul’s New Libertarian Army)
#3- Cadillac and Jaguar (Total Eliminators)

PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION: SNAFU (Independent)
CONTENDERS:

#1- Newt Tron Bomb (American Patriots)
#2- American Trucker (American Heartland Coalition)
#3- Dave the Mechanic (American Heartland Coalition)

———————-

UPCOMING EVENTS @ http://www.politicalwrestling.wordpress.com :
7/1- PCW Extreme Political TV
No Newsline or shows until 7/15
7/15- PCW Extreme Political TV
7/19- PCW Newsline with Gina Ramsey
7/22- PCW Extreme Political TV
7/26- PCW Newsline with Gina Ramsey
7/29-PCW Night of Champions

2009-2010 MAJOR EVENTS
9/27-PCW Lock and Load 4
11/9-PCW Night of Champions
12/27-PCW Christmas
1/27-PCW Night of Champions
3/7-PCW Weapons of Mass Political Destruction 3
4/21-PCW Night of Champions
6/6-PCW Loose Cannons Unleashed 6

———————

Other political stories: CNN Political Ticker, CNN Political Ticker, CNN Political Ticker, NRO, PA 2010, The Hill, The Hill,

6/24-Political Championship Wrestling: PCW Extreme Political TV

Jack Schett and Bull Schett (Ron Paul’s New Libertarian Army) vs. The Total Eliminators
PCW CEO Barack Obama’s “State of PCW” Address
Replay: O’Beck Bahama vs. Starz N. Stripes for the PCW Title- November 4th, 2008 at PCW Extreme Election Night

 
————————————————-
 
Last week on PCW Extreme Political TV: 

Red Shirt Guy vs. Andy Dooney
This match gets spread out throughout the show. Red Shirt Guy is a Star Trek knock off. He takes control of the match and then inexplicatively leaves the ring. He’s last seen getting in a limo.

A quick special announcement about PCW re-signing with P-SPAN for their Sunday night shows.

Keith Olbermann’s Super Special Comment
Olbermann comes out and vents his spleen over the whole David Letterman/Sarah Palin matter. Def Leppard’s ‘Rock, Rock Til You Drop’ suddenly plays and PCW’s answer to ECW’s 911, Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, comes out and chokeslams Olbermann. Then for good measure, WTF puts KO through a table.

Red Shirt Guy exits the limo and boards a waitIng plane.

Trailer Park Sweetheart’ Tanya Hardy w/The White Trash Posse and Trailer Trash Barbi def. Hallie Burton w/’The Mastermind’ Karl Rove (Dick Cheney’s Extreme Neo-Con Alliance)
Burton controls the early part of the match. But outside interference from Trailer Trash Barbi and the White Trash Posse turn the match around. Hardy takes advantage of some well place baton shots by the WTP and gets the submission win with a figure four leglock.

Red Shirt Guy’s plane takes off for some unknown destination.

Quadruple R w/The God Squad (Dick Cheney’s Extreme Neo-Con Alliance) def. Al Cahall w/Nic Koteen and ‘The Princess of Political Incorrectness’ Andrea Doria (American Heartland Coalition)
Quadruple R is in born again mode with the God Squad ringside. In a match that features interference from Rev. Robertson (using the ribbon you’d find in a hymnal to keep your place to choke Cahall), Rev. Rick Warren (uses his book ‘Purpose Driven Life’ as a weapon), and Rev. Falwell Jr. (distracts Cahall), Quad R hits the Quadruple Plex and gets the win.
Red Shirt Guy’s plane lands at Cape Canaveral. He quickly boards a NASA vehicle and it speeds away.

Joe Biden Promo/THE ULTIMATE HIGH SPOT complete with special cameo by High Octane Wrestling’s Hellcat Kirsta Lewis
Biden addresses the High Octane Television situation and comments made by Lee Best on HOTv’s site. He then offers up a defiant defense of PCW stating that ‘in PCW, titles aren’t won, they’re earned.”

Jake Tapper asks him a question and then Biden’s train goes off the rails. He references Best’s 40 foot fall from a helicopter at High Octane Wrestling’s War Games PPV last week and said that PCW could do one better. Apparently, the Red Shirt Guy vignettes were a set up to what Biden terms ‘the ultimate high spot’- from the space shuttle.

Red Shirt Guy jumps from the shuttle and burns up in the atmosphere. There’s a pretty light show and a cameo appearance by HOW’s Kirsta Lewis. The show ends with everyone going out for a beer.

—————————


6/24-PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV
LOCATION: Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon, Wauseon, OH
HOST: Johnny Suave

Crowd: “PCW!…PCW!…PCW!…” Suave: “Good evening and welcome to P-C-W Extreme…Political TV! I am Johnny Suave and we weren’t supposed to be live right at this moment. But a couple hours before show time, this took place…”

PCW CEO BARACK OBAMA’S OFFICE
Obama finishes up reviewing tonight’s ‘State of PCW’ address. The door bursts open and Cadillac, Jaguar, Jack Schett, and Bull Schett barge in. Obama: “Um…can I help you?” Cadillac: “Mr. CEO. Now that Cadillac, Jaguar, Mercedes, and Porsche Lexus have formed our new group- The New Eliminators, we think it’s not fair to show a match from a couple weeks back when we weren’t…the New Eliminators.” Obama: “I see. And what is your solution to this?” Cadillac: “We want to wrestle the Schetts tonight, live. Like it’s supposed to be. In front of a crowd screaming for or against you.” Obama turns to the Schetts. Obama: “Jack? Bull? Is this okay with you?” Jack: “We kicked their asses two weeks ago. If you don’t think that the Schett Brothers can kick their asses again, then you don’t know Jack Schett.” Obama: “Got it.” He nods his head toward Cadillac. Obama: “Gentlemen. You’ve got your match tonight.”

Suave: “Sooo, it’ll be the Schetts versus The New Eliminators live right here…right after this.”

————————–

From our good friends at High Octane Wrestling….

 

 

 

 

 

 

WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
Issac Sladel vs. Aceldama©

ICON CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
Maximillian Kael vs. Shane Reynolds©

HALL OF FAME RESPECT IS EARNED MATCH
Mark O’Neal vs. Darkwing

——————————————-

Wake up…wake up
Wake up…wake up”

Suave: “AND HERE COMES THE SCHETT BROTHERS!” Ron Paul and Aimee Allen lead Jack, Bull, Horst, and Hans Gruber down the aisle.

“Good morning America! Rise and Shine….

“Ron Paul! Save our constitutional rights
Ron Paul! We’re not gonna give up the fight
Ron Paul! Start a revolution
and break down illegal institutions

The Schetts climb into the ring.

The opening riffs of ZZ Top’s ‘Sharp Dressed Man’ plays. The original ZZ Top Eliminator arrives at the front of Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon. The door opens and Mercedes exits. She helps Porsche Lexus out of the car.

“Clean shirt, new shoes
And I dont know where I am goin to.
Silk suit, black tie,
I dont need a reason why.
They come runnin just as fast as they can
Coz every girl crazy bout a sharp dressed man.

Mercedes and Porsche Lexus reach into the car and pull out Cadillac and Jaguar. They lead him to the ring.

“Top coat, top hat,
I dont worry coz my wallets fat.
Black shades, white gloves,
Lookin sharp and lookin for love.
They come runnin just as fast as they can
Coz every girl grazy bout a sharp dressed man

MATCH #1
JACK SCHETT and BULL SCHETT w/Horst Schett and their pet dog- Hans Gruber, the Extreme German Schnauzer (Ron Paul’s New Libertarian Army)
vs.
CADILLAC and JAGUAR w/Mercedes and Porsche Lexus (The Total Eliminators)
Suave:
“All right! Here we go.” Crowd: TOTAL ELIMINATION! (clap, clap clap-clap-clap) TOTAL ELIMINATION! (clap, clap clap-clap-clap)…” Suave: “Apparently, they are calling the move ‘Total Elimination’ tonight. There’s the bell. Jack Schett and Cadillac will start.” Crowd: “LET’S GO SCHETTS! (clap, clap clap-clap-clap) LET’S GO SCHETTS! (clap, clap clap-clap-clap)” Suave: “Jack jabs at Cadillac. Cadillac ducks two haymakers and slides behind him. Gutwrench suplex…nicely executed. Headscissors now by Cadillac! But Jack powers out…watch out…he turns right into the path of a missile drop kick by Jaguar. Scoop slam by Cadillac. Jaguar’s back up on the top ropes…diving headbutt! Cadillic covers. One…two…Jack kicks out.” Jack quickly to the corner and tags Bull in. Suave: “Bull in now. He goes for the Irish Whip…Cadillac reverse and sends Bull for the ride…inverted atomic drop by Cadilliac! Russian leg sweep! Caddy covers again. One…two…and Bull kicks out.

Bull backs into the corner and tags Jack back in. Cadillac tags in Jaguar. Suave: “Jack charges…single leg takedown by Jaguar. Double foot stomp…that’ll get Jack’s attention. Bull rolls out and discusses strategy with Jack. Jaguar runs at both men.” Jaguar goes for a hurricanrana. Jack moves. Bull grabs Jaguar’s legs while he’s upside down and slams them on the ringpost. Suave: “Jaguar’s caught….now he’s in the tree of woe! Bull sets up the chair…there’s goes Jack…” *CLANG* Suave: “HOLY CRAP!” Jaguar topples down. Jack covers. One…two…NO! There’s Cadillac to make the save. Rights by Cadillac and Jack escapes through the ropes to think things over. Unfortunately, he’s giving Jaguar precise time to recover.” Jack back in. Tag to Bull. Jaguar tags Cadillac back in. Suave: “Lockup, Bull powers Cadillac to the corner. Kick to the gut. That’ll knock your wind out. Another big shot.” Cadillac wobbles in the corner. Jaguar in and runs the ropes. He goes for a high crossbody and eats a big boot to the face. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! JAGUAR CAUGHT THAT ONE FLUSH! Cadillac with a clothesline…ah no go. Bull sends him for the ride…Cadillac ducks a clothesline…flying forearm! Cadillac landed it perfectly. He’s raining punches down on Bull…Jack’s in…OH! BIG slap to the chest sends Cadillac flying.”

Cadillac holds his chest. Jaguar crawls out of the ring. Suave: “The Schetts in control right now. Bull tries a right…blocked by Cadillac. He tries some of his own. Bull shakes them off. Cadillac tries a kick…Bull’s got the leg. OW! ATOMIC DROP! GERMAN SUPLEX! CADILLAC LANDED HARD ON HIS NOGGIN AND HE’S IN TROUBLE! COVER! ONE…TWO…HOLY CRAP!” Jaguar hits a Missile drop kick that snaps Bull’s head back. Cadillac goes down on all four behind Bull. Suave: “HERE IT COMES…” Jaguar whips around and nails Bull on the button with a kick and sends him over Cadillac. Suave: “TOTAL ELIMINATION! CADILLAC COVERS! ONE…JACK SCHETT’S BACK IN THE RING AND PULLS HIM OFF! *CRACK* JAGUAR WITH A SPINNING BACK KICK! JACK’S DOWN! CADILLAC PULLS BULL’S LEGS APART….OH MY! LEGDROP TO THE JEWELS! COVER! ONE…TWO…HORST SCHETT MAKES THE SAVE AND NOW IT’S THREE AGAINST TWO!”

Horst throws Cadillac out of the ring to the floor. Hans Gruber pounces and latches on to Cadillac’s hand with its jaws. Suave: “HANS GRUBER- THE EXTREME GERMAN SCHNAUZER HAS CADILLAC’S HAND IN HIS JAWS. JACK AND BULL LIFT JAGUAR UP…DOUBLE CHOKE SLAM!” Jack pulls Jaguar towards the corner. Suave: “IT’S TIME! BULL’S ON THE TOP ROPE AND HE’S PUTTING A BRICK IN THE BACK OF HIS TRUNKS!” Bull leaps backwards in a sitting position and lands on Jaguar’s chest. Suave: “SCHETT-BRICK! SCHETT-BRICK! BULL COVERS. ONE…TWO…THREE!”

WINNER: JACK and BULL SCHETT

Suave: “THE SCHETT’S PULL IT OUT IN THE END! BUT GOING INTO OUR NEXT SEASON, YOU’D BETTER KEEP AN EYE ON THE TOTAL ELIMINATORS…Oh, crap…here comes Hans Gruber…uh…we’ll be right back…(to dog)…go away!…shoo!…shoo!…”

——————————

CATCH THE LATEST NEWS ON PCW AND OTHER GREAT E-FEDERATIONS AT THESE SITES:

E-Wresting Torch- E-Fed Television, Pay-Per-View, and Classic show reviews

E-Wrestling Magazine- The home for all the latest e-federation news throughout the country

E-Wrestling Nexus- The newest E-Wrestling hotspot to catch up on the latest news, cards, and e-wrestlers in the e-wrestling world

————————————-

*flute and clarinet flourish*

Two men come out and unroll a white carpet to the ring steps. Dancers then dance. Ballet dancers…ballet? Little children walk up the white carpet and drop rose petals. Someone lets loose some pigeons…we’re still not sure just how they’ll get out of the building. The crowd stands and lets out a loud ovation as PCW CEO Barack Obama appears. Behind Obama, two aides wheel out a portable closet that presumably has his Aide de Camp Joe Biden inside.

STATE OF PCW ADDRESS
Obama:
“Thank you. Thank you very much. Ladies and gentlemen, I am here tonight to reassure everyone that the state of PCW is strong!” Standing ovation follows- especially enthusiastic is the Progressive Alliance side and their supporters. Obama: “However. That doesn’t mean that we don’t face some challenges. But we’ll get to that in a moment.

“Over the past nine months, PCW has produced over 85 televised wrestling shows. Our viewership is up dramatically over the past six months. That is a testiment to the hard work that goes on behind the scenes. Give it up for our PCW Competition Committee-” Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Steny Hoyer (Progressive Alliance) and Mitch McConnell, John Boehner (American Patriots) stand. Pelosi, in particular, looks regal as she turns to the audience. Crowd: “BOOOOOOOOOOO!” Pelosi- not so regal looking after the reaction.

Obama: “And most importantly, the people who actually do the dirty work and book the shows. Head Booker Enrico Palazzo and until recently, Dawn McGill-” A roaring ovation interrupts Obama. Crowd: “BRING DAWN BACK! BRING DAWN BACK!” Obama: “I acknowledge the years that Dawn McGill faithfully served PCW and-” Crowd: “BRING DAWN BACK! BRING DAWN BACK!” Obama: “All right…all right. Let’s talk about our financial situation…for the first time ever, PCW faces a significant financial deficit. And that is why you saw the releases that took place yesterday.”

-PCW Security Director Dawn McGill
-Former PCW Women’s Champion Hallie Burton
-’Trailer Park Sweetheart’ Tanya Hardy and the White Trash Posse
-Trailer Trash Barbi
-Blue Dog D
-RINO
-Average Joe
-Joe the Plumber
-Jimmy from SoCal
-Snott Flemmstein
-Dr. Ivan Rectum-Fighting Proctologist

American Trucker (American Heartland Coalition) stands up. AT: “Excuse me, Mr. CEO. But why the mass cuts? It seems a little odd that the smaller factions took the brunt of it. Why Average Joe?” Obama: “Look, we had to make some tough choices. No doubt about it. We also let go Dawn McGill-” Crowd: “BRING DAWN BACK! BRING DAWN BACK!” Obama: “…After Domination Inc. fell apart, we felt we didn’t need a Security Director any more and she came with a hefty price tag-” Crowd: “BRING DAWN BACK! BRING DAWN BACK! BRING DAWN BACK! BRING DAWN BACK!” Pelosi stands up and faces the crowd. Pelosi: “Would you all just knock it off! You’re lucky we even decided to let you in to see this in the first pla-” Crowd: “SHUT THE **** UP! SHUT THE **** UP! SHUT THE **** UP!” Suave: “Yeah. Nice one, Nancy.” Pelosi quickly sits back down.

Obama: “Look, it’s not just…” A fly buzzes around Obama’s face. He waves his hand at it. Obama: “…it’s not just personnel…” The fly continues to bother Obama. He waves at it again. Obama: “…um…it’s not just personnel per se who’s going…excuse me.” Obama reaches down and produces a fly swatter. *SHWACK* Obama: “Got him!” An earth-shattering shriek drowns out everything else. Peta from PETA shoots up from her seat. Peta: “NOOOOOOOOOOO!” She runs up and begins to give the fly mouth to mouth resuscitation. She scoops it up in her hand and runs out of the bar. Obama: “O-kay. Not just personnel will be affected. PCW will probably have to drop a division-” Crowd: “BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

Andrea Doria (American Heartland Coalition) stands. Andrea: “I have a question. Just how much did that little stunt last week with the Space Shuttle cost us?” Obama: “Candidly, millions. From paying NASA to paying the family of Red Shirt Guy for his death, PCW is in a bit of financial trouble right now.” Andrea: “And just who authorized the idea?” Obama: “The PCW Competition Committee. But-” Andrea: “So typical. The rank and file pay the price for the poor decision making of leadership.”

PCW Women’s Champion Kathryn Randall Collins (Progressive Alliance) stands next. KRC: “You released Dawn McGill. You released Hallie Burton- a former PCW Women’s champion. You released ‘Trailer Park Sweetheart’ Tanya Hardy not one week after a breakthrough victory. I see the writing on the wall, Mr. Obama, and it’s a shame. PCW is one of the few federations that actually takes women’s wrestling seriously and operated it as a legitimate, competitive division.” Obama: “Kathryn, we have NOT made any decisions on any division. McGill, Burton, and Hardy’s release, through regrettable, were prudent business-”

Movie Classic (Island of Misfit Wrestlers) stands. Movie Classic: “Mr. Obama. I’M MAD AS HELL AND I’M NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANY MORE!” Obama: “Movie, I appreciate your passion and assure you that I will comtemplate-” Movie Classic: “I’M IN CONTEMPT! YOU’RE IN CONTEMPT!” Obama: “No, no. Comtemplate. Not contempt-” Movie Classic: “AND YOU’RE IN CONTEMPT! AND YOU’RE IN CONTEMPT! AND YOU’RE IN CONTEMPT!” Obama: “I did NOT say you were in contempt! I understand-” Movie Classic: “But, Mr. Obama. You can’t hold a whole fraternity responsible for the behavior of a few, sick twisted individuals…” Obama: “Fraternity? What are you talking about?” Movie Classic: “…For if you do, then shouldn’t we blame the whole fraternity system? And if the whole fraternity system is guilty, then isn’t this an indictment of our educational institutions in general?…” Obama: “Okay, that’s enough.” Movie Classic: “…I put it to you, Mr. Obama – isn’t this an indictment of our entire American society? Well, you can do whatever you want to us, but we’re not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America. Gentlemen!” Movie Classic leads the Island of Misfit Wrestlers out of the building, all humming the Star-Spangled Banner.

Obama: “O-kay. As I was saying, I understand everyone’s passion and we will all have to work together to get through this. Yes, what Joe did last week has caused major headaches for all of us. But he also said something that I completely agree with.”

Our wrestlers may not do death defying, literally unrealistic stunts disguised as extreme spots. We may not have the fancy websites and such. But we have heart. And we put out a damn good product week in and week out. While some federations literally switch off their belts every week, we here in PCW have a different idea. Belts mean something here. O’Beck Bahama, God bless him, chased the former PCW Champion Starz N. Stripes for nine ****ing months before he finally won the PCW Title. Here in PCW, titles aren’t won. They’re earned.”

Obama: “That part of the speech is right on. The rest of Biden’s speech…ah…never mind. So, I ask everyone to hang in there and-” Man’s voice: “WHERE IS HE?” Suave: “HOLY CRAP! I DON’T BELIEVE IT! THAT’S HIGH OCTANE WRESTLING OWNER LEE BEST, ALL BANDAGED UP AND OUT OF THE HOSPITAL, AND HERE AT HACK’S RUSTY NAIL SALOON!” Best: “WHERE THE **** IS HE?” Obama: “Who?” Best: “Don’t play games with me. Kirsta Lewis told me everything about Biden’s speech. Now, where is he?”

Everyone in the building points at the portable closet. Biden’s voice: “Say, why has it gotten all quiet?” Best goes over and pushes the closet towards the edge of the stage. Biden’s voice: “Hey! What’s going on?” Suave: “HE’S NOT GOING TO…HE IS!” With a mighty push, Best shoves the portable closet off the stage. The closet slams into and destroys a front row table. Suave: “HOLY CRAP!” Crowd: “HOLY ****! HOLY ****! HOLY ****!…” Obama throws up his hands. Obama: “Lee, how about a beer?” Best: “Don’t mind if I do.”

——————-

UPCOMING EVENTS @ http://www.politicalwrestling.wordpress.com :
6/26- PCW Newsline with Gina Ramsey
7/1- PCW Extreme Political TV
No Newsline or shows until 7/15
7/15- PCW Extreme Political TV
7/17- PCW Newsline with Gina Ramsey
7/22- PCW Extreme Political TV
7/24- PCW Newsline with Gina Ramsey
7/29-PCW Night of Champions
…….
9/27-PCW Lock and Load 4
11/9-PCW Night of Champions
12/27-PCW Christmas
1/27-PCW Night of Champions
3/7-PCW Weapons of Mass Political Destruction 3
4/21-PCW Night of Champions
6/6-PCW Loose Cannons Unleashed 6

————————————-
(PCW Extreme Election Night 2008, November 4th, 2008)

*YEEEEEEE-AHHHHHHHHH!*

Suave: “Of course, that’s the unmistakable calling card of one, ‘American Screamer’ Howard Dean.” Dean, Nancy Pelosi, Steny Hoyer and Harry Reid (Progressive Alliance) come to the ring. O’Beck Bahama and Barack Obama follow. Suave: “We are minutes away from the PCW Title match. O’Beck Bahama is here. Now, we wait for the PCW Champion.”

GEORGE W’S OFFICE
George W works on paperwork. He aide de camp Dick fumes. Dick: “I still say there’s no reason why we shouldn’t be out there for this match. We are the leaders of the American Patriots.” W.: “Dick, I’m not worried about it. This is what John McCain wanted.” Dick: “John McCain can kiss my ass!” Dick stomps out.

Suave: “Well. Dick seems a little bent.” American Patriots John Boehner and Mitch McConnell lead the way for McCain and the PCW Champion Starz N. Stripes. Suave: Starz N. Stripes’ title reign is over eight months. Can he extend it even further tonight? We will find out soon enough.”

Both men in the ring now. Charlene Ann Beckworth climbs in to do the ring announcing. Charlene Ann: “LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. THIS MATCH IS FOR THE PCW CHAMPIONSHIP! IN THIS CORNER, SECONDED BY ‘THE NATURAL’ BARACK OBAMA, HE’S THE ‘NEW ROOKIE SENSATION’ O’BECK BAHAMA!” Roughly half the crowd stands and cheers on Bahama. Charlene Ann: “AND IN THE OTHER CORNER, SECONDED BY ‘STRAIGHT SHOOTIN’’ JOHN McCAIN, HE’S THE ‘ORIGINAL ROOKIE SENSATION’ AND THE CURRENT PCW CHAMPION- STARZ N. STRIPES!” The other half stand and cheer. Suave: “You can feel the buzz in the air. We could have history in the making here tonight.”

BACKSTAGE
PCW Owner Bubba Jackson’s office. The two Westville city policeman stand in place.

Suave: “Okay, still no change with Bubba. We’re about ready to go. Starz and Bahama for the PCW Title.

MATCH #9 PCW Championship Match-11/4/08
O’BECK BAHAMA w/Barack Obama (Progressive Alliance)
vs. STARZ N. STRIPES © w/John McCain (American Patriots)
The referee calls for the bell. Suave: “Here we go!” Staredown as O’Beck and Starz circle each other. Starz smiles and they finally lock up. Starz goes for a bodyslam. Bahama reverses and pushes Starz to the ring ropes. Starz holds on to the ropes. Circling and staring again. Another lockup. O’Beck shoots Starz’s leg and takes him down. Arm drag into a wrist lock by Bahama. Into the corner. Starz unleashes a right hand that glances off Bahama. Bahama with a side headlock. Irish whip into the ropes. Back body drop by Bahama. Bahama shoots him into the ropes again but this time Starz hangs onto them. Starz slides out of the ring and takes a walk to confer with McCain. .Starz back in and they lock up yet again. Bahama monkey-flips Starz and delivers the boots to the gut. Out of nowhere, Starz slaps on the American Star and Fuji Arm Bar submission hold. Suave: “THIS COULD BE IT!” Bahama grabs the ropes and hold on to them for dear life. The referee breaks the hold.

Starz confers with John McCain. Bahama slingshots himself across the ring and crushes Starz against the steel barricade. Irish whip into the barricade on the other side. Another Irish whip from Bahama. He ducks for a backdrop but Starz kicks him in the mush. Starz starts laying in right hands and pushes Bahama out through the ropes. Bahama quickly climbs back up on the apron. Starz charges. Bahama ducks and back body drops the PCW champion over the ropes and through a ring table. Suave: HOLY CRAP!” O’Beck wastes no time in climbing the top rope and splashing Starz on the floor. Crowd: “PCW…PCW!” Starz crawls out of the wreckage but Bahama follows up with an Irish whip into the steel guardrail. Bahama grabs a chair and waffles Starz with it. Starz slumps to the ground. Bahama climbs the ring steps. Suave: “MISSILE DROP KICK FROM THE STEPS! STARZ CAUGHT IT FLUSH ON HIS JAW AND HE IS DAZED!” Bahama pulls Starz up. Superkick! Starz falls backwards and hits the floor hard. Barack Obama urges Bahama on. Bahama presses the attack, grabbing another steel folding chair and pastes the champion in the face with it. He throws the chair on the floor. Suave: “DDT ON THE CHAIR! THE PCW CHAMPION IS IN BIG, BIG TROUBLE. HE DOESN’T KNOW WHERE HE’S AT!” Bahama drags Starz back into the ring. Bahama goes for the win. Suave: “1…2…NO! BAHAMA GAVE HIM TOO MUCH TIME AND STARZ KICKS OUT!” Bahama goes for another cover. Suave: “NO! STARZ KICKS OUT AGAIN! BAHAMA MAY HAVE MADE A HUGE MISTAKE IN NOT TRYING TO PIN THE CHAMPION ON THE FLOOR!” Starz tries to fight back. Bahama lifts him for a jack-knife power bomb. Starz flips through and shoves the New Rookie Sensation into the ropes. Wild right by Starz misses badly. Bahama trips Starz and he lands throat first on the top ring rope. Running splash takes the air out of Starz. Bahama covers. Suave: “1…2…McCAIN SAVES HIM! McCAIN RAN OVER AND PUT THE CHAMPION’S FOOT ON THE ROPES!” Bahama drives Starz to the canvas with a running power bomb. The crowd begins to anticipate a possible title change. Suave: “THIS COULD BE THE NIGHT! BAHAMA COVERS…” A huge roar erupts. Suave: “IT’S SARAH PALIN! SHE’S IN THE RING! *THWACK* HOLY CRAP! *THWACK* OH! SHE NAILED BAHAMA WITH HER HOCKEY STICK!” Bahama staggers. Suave: “TINA FEY! TINA FEY’S OUT HERE! SHE GOES UP TO PALIN…SHE TAKES THE HOCKEY STICK AWAY. AND NOW, FEY’S LEAVING! PALIN’S CHASING HER.”

Standing drop kick by Starz drives Bahama into the corner. Suave: “SARAH PALIN HAS TOTALLY CHANGED THE COMPLEXION OF THE MATCH!” An newly energized Starz throws lefts and rights. Snap mare take down. Enzuigiri by Starz and then a backpack stunner. Bahama blocks a suplex attempt but eats a flying knee. Starz charges and shoulder blocks Bahama into the ropes. Bahama walks right into a Ricola bomb. Cover. 1…2.. Bahama gets the shoulder up. Bahama gets crotched on the top rope and schoolboyed for another two. Starz goes for a Texas Cloverleaf but Starz rolls through it. Starz hits a Michinoku Driver. Starz hits a fireman’s carry takedown and then a chinlock. Bahama escapes the hold and pushes Starz back. Right by Bahama. Right by Starz. Right by Bahama. Right by Starz. Irish whip by Starz reversed by Bahama followed by another reversal. Bahama misses a leg drop. Starz back suplexes Bahama. Bahama wildly charges. Starz sidesteps. Bahama bounces off the ropes and Starz delivers a Death Valley Driver. Cover. Suave: “One…Obama breaks the count this time.” Starz hits a tilt-a-whirl suplex. Starz goes for a piledriver; Bahama kicks him low. Suave: “That’ll stop your momentum in a big hurry.” Bahama with rights. Irish whip into the ropes. Bahama ducks the lariat. Lou Thesz Press by Starz. He pummels Bahama on the canvas. Irish whip by Starz. Belly to belly suplex. Bahama bounces off the canvas. Suave: “STARZ WITH THE MOMENTUM AND…HE WANTS A TABLE!” McCain slides a table into the ring and Stara sets it up. Rights by Starz. Then he sets Bahama up. Suave: “HE’S LINING BAHAMA UP…” The PCW crowd roars again. Suave: “SARAH PALIN! .SARAH PALIN’S BACK OUT!…OR IS IT TINA FEY?” Palin climbs up to the ring apron. Suave: “I DON’T THINK STARZ’S SURE IF IT REALLY HER OR NOT.” McCain’s confused. Suave: “STARZ PULLS BAHAMA UP AND HOLDS HIM…HE’S TELLING PALIN OR FEY OR WHOMEVER TO GO AHEAD.” Palin swings. Bahama ducks. Starz catches the stick with his hand. He throws Bahama out of the ring. Suave: “STARZ IS PISSED. HE FLIPS HER INTO THE RING!” The crowd stands and cheers. Suave: “HE’S NOT! YES HE IS.” Starz powerbombs her through the table. Suave: “HOLY CRAP!” Tina Fey runs out dressed as Palin. She winks at Starz and leaves. Suave: “OH MY GOD! STARZ JUST POWER-BOMBED SARAH PALIN THROUGH A TABLE!” Starz looks at the unconscious Palin lying among the ruins of the table in abject disbelief. McCain is stunned. Starz checks on her. Bahama claws his way back into the ring and blindsides the distracted Starz from behind.

Suave: “BAHAMA BACK ON THE ATTACK!” Kicks to the stomach. Rights by Bahama. Irish whip. Suave: “SOMERSET PLANCHA BY BAHAMA! BULLDOG BY BAHAMA! HE’S CALLING FOR A LADDER!” Obama slides a ladder in. Suave: “Bahama with Starz. DDT ONTO THE LADDER!” Crowd: “PCW…PCW!” Bahama puts the ladder over him and spins like a propeller and decks Starz. Bahama throws the ladder at Starz. Suave: “STARZ IS HURT AGAIN! HE FALLS BACK INTO THE CORNER!” Bahama places the ladder on Starz and goes to the opposite corner. He sprints across and plasters the ladder into the champ. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! THIS COULD BE IT!” Crowd: “This match rocks! This match rocks!” Suave: “BAHAMA GOING FOR THE PIN……IT’S JOE THE PLUMBER! JOE THE PLUMBER!” Joe the Plumber runs down and climbs on the ring apron. Bahama steps away from Starz and walks towards Joe the Plumber. Suave: “WHAT IS HE DOING? BAHAMA IS THIS CLOSE TO BECOMING THE PCW CHAMPION…WAIT A MINUTE! SOMEONE JUST RAN UP TO JOE THE PLUMBER!” A guy pulls Joe the Plumber off the edge of the ring and swings a tire iron at him. Suave: “IT’S KGO-SAN FRANCISCO RADIO HOST CHARLES KAREL BOULEY! HE SAID ON THE RADIO THAT HE WANTED TO KILL JOE THE PLUMBER. GUESS WHAT? HE’S TRYING TO KILL JOE THE PLUMBER!”

*Def Leppard’s ‘Rock, Rock Til You Drop blares*

A deafening noise drowns out the music. Suave: “YES! IT’S PCW’S EXTREME EQUALIZER- WHISKEY…TANGO…FOXTROT!” Crowd: “WHAT THE F***! WHAT THE F***!” Suave: “HE RUNS UP AND GRABS BOULEY!” WTF lifts and chokeslams Bouley on the floor. Suave: “CHOKESLAM! CHOKESLAM! JOE THE PLUMBER DOWN. SARAH PALIN DOWN. STARZ IS ABOUT DONE!” Bahama rolls up Starz. Suave: “ONE…TWO…NO! McCAIN BREAKS THE COUNT! McCAIN LITERALLY LEAPED ACROSS THE RING TO STOP THE REFEREE FROM COUNTING OUT STARZ!” Bahama climbs up the corner turnbuckle. 450 Splash on Starz. Again, he covers. Suave: “ONE…TWO…AGAIN! McCAIN AGAIN STOPS THE COUNT!” McCain stumbles back to his corner. Bahama picks up Starz and power bombs him. Cover. Suave: “ONE…TWO…NOOOOO! McCAIN AGAIN SAVES STARZ! UNBELIEVEABLE!” Obama pounds on the ring canvas. Everyone is standing up in the building. Suave: “THIS CROWD IS GOING NUTS! JOHN McCAIN HAS SAVED THREE PINFALLS! HOLD ON. BAHAMA WANTS A TABLE SET UP OUTSIDE THE RING.” Obama quickly sets up a table. Bahama picks up Starz. He runs towards the ropes and heaves him over. Starz destroys the table. Suave: “AWESOME BOMB! AWESOME BOMB! AWESOME BOMB! BAHAMA TO THE TOP ROPE. 45O SPLASH! HE COVERS. ONE…WAIT! WHAT’S DICK CHENEY DOING. HE RUNS INTO McCAIN…” The bell rings. Suave: “THAT WAS THE BELL? WAIT A MINUTE…CHARLENE ANN BECKWORTH IN THE RING.”

Charlene Ann: “LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! THE WINNER BY PINFALL AND NEW PCW-” The deafening crowd drowned out the rest of what of Charlene Ann said. Suave: “HE DID IT! HE DID IT! O’BECK BAHAMA IS THE NEW PCW CHAMPION!” Crowd: “PCW…PCW…PCW…PCW!…” Suave: “LET’S LOOK AT THIS FROM ANOTHER VIEW. HOLY CRAP! McCAIN WAS TRYING TO GET OVER TO STARZ BUT DICK ACCIDENTLY TRIPPED HIM UP. THERE’S THE THREE COUNT.”

BACKSTAGE
PCW Owner Bubba Jackson’s office. Bubba leaves the office and heads towards the ring escorted by the Westville police. Suave: “HERE’S COMES BUBBA JACKSON! IT’S TIME!”

Crowd: “PCW…PCW…PCW…” Obama, Bahama, and the rest of the Progressive Alliance celebrate in the ring. Bahama holds up the PCW title belt. Suave: “WHAT AN INCREDIBLE MATCH! THIS MAY HAVE BEEN THE BEST MATCH IN PCW HISTORY! O’BECK BAHAMA DEFEATS STARZ N. STRIPES AND BECOMES THE NEW PCW CHAMPION”

—————-

Other political news:
CNN Political Ticker, CNN Political Ticker, If You Write It, Barack Obamafan, MD Politics Watch, Executive Office News, America’s Right,

WordPress.com Political Blogger Alliance

PCW Releases Several Wrestlers

Political Championship Wrestling has come to terms on releases for the following wrestlers:

-PCW Security Director Dawn McGill
-Former PCW Women’s Champion Hallie Burton
-’Trailer Park Sweetheart’ Tanya Hardy and the White Trash Posse
-Trailer Trash Barbi
-Blue Dog D
-RINO
-Average Joe
-Joe the Plumber
-Jimmy from SoCal
-Snott Flemmstein
-Dr. Ivan Rectum-Fighting Proctologist

PCW’s roster page has been updated accordingly.  PCW CEO Barack Obama will have more on the recent cost cutting tomorrow night on PCW Extreme Political TV.

Preview of 6/24 PCW Extreme Political TV

This Wednesday on PCW Extreme Political TV:

-The Jack Schett and Bull Schett vs. Cadillac and Jaguar match bumped from last week’s show.

-PCW CEO Barack Obama will deliver the ‘State of PCW’ Address.

-Replay of PCW Champion O’Beck Bahama’s title win last November at Extreme Election Night 2008.

-Also, on the heels of High Octane Wrestling’s Kirsta Lewis making an appearance here in PCW, rumor has it that HOW’s Lee Best, already in a foul mood over being tossed from a helicopter 40 feet off the ground, found out about Joe Biden’s remarks last week and may confront the aide de camp to Barack Obama Wednesday night on Extreme Political TV.

It’s the final original PCW Extreme Political TV show until July 15th. Tune in for all the exciting action.

6/19-Political Championship Wrestling Newsline

PCW Newsline with Gina Ramsey

-Special Thanks to High Octane Wrestling’s Kirsta Lewis
-Recap of PCW Extreme Political TV
-PCW Ring Announcer Charlene Ann Beckworth Update
-PCW Rankings, Upcoming Schedule

Hey y’all. It’s Gina Ramsey here with this week’s PCW newsline.

 

First off, Political Championship Wrestling owes a big thank you to this performer…

…HOW’s Kirsta Lewis who did a cameo for us Wednesday night on PCW Extreme Political TV- she is the first wrestler from another federation to appear on PCW TV. PCW appreciates that Kirsta agreed to appear and our writers had an absolute ball putting that last part of Wednesday night’s show together. PCW hopes you enjoyed it as much as we did in writing it.

——————–

RECAP OF 6/17 PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV

Red Shirt Guy vs. Andy Dooney
This match gets spread out throughout the show.  Red Shirt Guy is a Star Trek knock off.  He takes control of the match and then inexplicatively leaves the ring.  He’s last seen getting in a limo.

A quick special announcement about PCW re-signing with P-SPAN for their Sunday night shows.

Keith Olbermann’s Super Special Comment
Olbermann comes out and vents his spleen over the whole David Letterman/Sarah Palin matter.  Def Leppard’s ‘Rock, Rock Til You Drop’ suddenly plays and PCW’s answer to ECW’s 911, Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, comes out and chokeslams Olbermann.  Then for good measure, WTF puts KO through a table.

Red Shirt Guy exits the limo and boards a waitng plane.

Trailer Park Sweetheart’ Tanya Hardy w/The White Trash Posse and Trailer Trash Barbi def. Hallie Burton w/’The Mastermind’ Karl Rove (Dick Cheney’s Extreme Neo-Con Alliance)
Burton controls the early part of the match.  But outside interference from Trailer Trash Barbi and the White Trash Posse turn the match around.  Hardy takes advantage of some well place baton shots by the WTP and gets the submission win with a figure four leglock.

Red Shirt Guy’s plane takes off for some unknown destination.

Quadruple R w/The God Squad (Dick Cheney’s Extreme Neo-Con Alliance) def. Al Cahall w/Nic Koteen and ‘The Princess of Political Incorrectness’ Andrea Doria (American Heartland Coalition)
Quadruple R is in born again mode with the God Squad ringside.  In a match that features interference from Rev. Robertson (using the ribbon you’d find in a hymnal to keep your place to choke Cahall), Rev. Rick Warren (uses his book ‘Purpose Driven Life’ as a weapon), and Rev. Falwell Jr. (distracts Cahall), Quad R hits the Quadruple Plex and gets the win.

Red Shirt Guy’s plane lands at Cape Canaveral.  He quickly boards a NASA vehicle and it speeds away.

Joe Biden Promo/THE ULTIMATE HIGH SPOT complete with special cameo by High Octane Wrestling’s Hellcat Kirsta Lewis
Biden addresses the High Octane Television situation and comments made by Lee Best on HOTv’s site.  He then offers up a defiant defense of PCW stating that ‘in PCW, titles aren’t won, they’re earned.” 

Jake Tapper asks him a question and then Biden’s train goes off the rails.  He references Best’s 40 foot fall from a helicopter at High Octane Wrestling’s War Games PPV last week and said that PCW could do one better.  Apparently, the Red Shirt Guy vignettes were a set up to what Biden terms ‘the ultimate high spot’- from the space shuttle.

Red Shirt Guy jumps from the shuttle and burns up in the atmosphere.  There’s a pretty light show and a cameo appearance by HOW’s Kirsta Lewis. The show ends with everyone going out for a beer.

——————–

CHARLENE ANN BECKWORTH UPDATE
PCW’s long time ring announcer, Charlene Ann Beckworth, is home after giving birth to a bouncing baby girl earlier this week- Regina Allison Beckworth. Both Mom and child are doing very well and we hope to see Charlene Ann back with PCW in August.

——————–

PCW RANKINGS

PCW WORLD CHAMPION: ‘The New Rookie Sensation’ O’Beck Bahama (Progressive Alliance)
CONTENDERS:
#1- A. Tom Bomb (American Patriots)
#2- Starz N. Stripes (Progressive Alliance)
#3- The Right Reverend Randy Richardson (Extreme Neo-Con Alliance)

PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION: Kathryn Randall Collins (Progressive Alliance)
CONTENDERS:
#1- Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (SarahPac)
#2- Mercedes (Independent)
#3- ‘Trailer Park Sweetheart’ Tanya Hardy (Independent)

PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit (Dick Cheney’s Extreme Neo-Con Alliance)
CONTENDERS:

#1- Cadillac and Jaguar (Independent)
#2- ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido and Starz N. Stripes (Progressive Alliance)
#3- Hunter the Hunter & Grizzly Adam (SarahPAC)

PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION: SNAFU (Independent)
CONTENDERS:
#1- Newt Tron Bomb (American Patriots)
#2- American Trucker (American Heartland Coalition)
#3- Dave the Mechanic (American Heartland Coalition)

—————————

UPCOMING EVENTS @ http://www.politicalwrestling.wordpress.com :
6/24- PCW Extreme Political TV
6/26- PCW Newsline with Gina Ramsey
7/1- PCW Extreme Political TV
No Newsline or shows until 7/15
7/15- PCW Extreme Political TV
7/17- PCW Newsline with Gina Ramsey
7/22- PCW Extreme Political TV
7/24- PCW Newsline with Gina Ramsey
7/29-PCW Night of Champions
…..
9/27-PCW Lock and Load 4
11/9-PCW Night of Champions
12/27-PCW Christmas
1/27-PCW Night of Champions
3/7-PCW Weapons of Mass Political Destruction 3
4/21-PCW Night of Champions
6/6-PCW Loose Cannons Unleashed 6

—————————————

6/17-Political Championship Wrestling: PCW Extreme Political TV

-Red Shirt Guy vs. Andy Dooney
-Keith Olbermann’s Super Special Comment
-Hallie Burton w/’The Mastermind’ Karl Rove (Dick Cheney’s Extreme Neo-Con Alliance) vs. ‘Trailer Park Sweetheart’ Tanya Hardy w/The White Trash Posse and Trailer Trash Barbi
-Quadruple R w/The God Squad (Dick Cheney’s Extreme Neo-Con Alliance) vs. Al Cahall w/Nic Koteen and ‘The Princess of Political Incorrectness’ Andrea Doria
-Joe Biden Presents ‘THE ULTIMATE HIGH SPOT” with special cameo by High Octane Wrestling’s Hellcat Kirsta Lewis


6/17-PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV
Taped last Saturday night at Ol’ Man Hanson’s Barn in Chelsea, MI
HOST: Johnny Suave

MATCH #1
RED SHIRT GUY (Independent)
vs.
ANDY DOONEY (Independent)

Suave: “The action is already underway here on PCW Extreme Political TV. We have two rookie wrestlers trying to impress the PCW brass here tonight. Red Shirt Guy is dedicated to honoring Star Trek’s men in the red shirts who always seemed to be doomed to certain death on away teams. Andy Dooney is a newcomer wrestling his first match ever.” Red Shirt Guy clotheslines Dooney and climbs the top rope. Suave: “Flying elbow on the way…GOT IT! He turns Dooney over for the pin…and he’s leaving?” Red Shirt Guy slides out of the ring and sprints to the back.

The camera follows him as he flies through the front doors and races to a waiting limousine. The limo speeds off.  Suave: “Okay. That was weird…what? The match isn’t over yet? Okay…whatever you say.”

———————-

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT- PRESS RELEASE:
P-SPAN CEO Ken Jeffers, Founder Brian Lamb, and Programming Chief Blaine Magner announced yesterday that they have signed Political Championship Wrestling to a new four year contract to continue to provide programming on the political channel.

PCW on P-SPAN will resume in late August as per the deal. More details will be announced and PCW will formally comment on the deal tonight in a special segment on PCW Extreme Political TV.

———————

Suave: “Johnny Suave back here on PCW Extreme Political TV. We’ve got a pretty good tag team match for you tonight between Jack Schett and Bull Schett from Ron Paul’s New Libertarian Army and Cadillac and Jaguar- formerly of Domination Inc. Gina Ramsey confirmed yesterday in the PCW Newsline that Domination Inc. is defunct. It’ll be interesting to see what happens to not only Cadillac and Jaguar but Mercedes and Porsche Lexus as well.”

*YOU’RE THE WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD!*

Suave: “Well? That could mean only one man…and here he comes.” MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann briskly walks up the aisle and climbs into the ring. Olbermann: “Tonight, I’d like to give one of my patented Super Special Comments about this ridiculous manufactured controversy created by one Sarah Palin.” Suave: “Ridiculous? Manufactured? Letterman’s words pretty much say it all, don’t they?” Olbermann: “Sarah Palin is nothing more than a sanctimonious, holier than thou, exploitative, undignified, pedantic, childish, self-inflicting, insipid, backwards, embarrassing, over-reactive, overreaching, delusional lunatic.” The crowd boos. Olbermann: “David Letterman took the high road throughout this fiasco. He’s the real victim here. Not Palin. Not Palin’s trailer trash children-”

*Def Leppard’s Rock, Rock Til You Drop blares over the loudspeakers*

Suave: “YES! HE’S BACK! IT’S THE EXTREME ENFORCER- WHISKEY…TANGO…FOXTROT!” WTF runs down to the ring. Olbermann tries to get away. WTF grabs him by the belt and pulls him back in. WTF’s hands to Olbermann’s throat. Lift. Chokeslam!. Crowd: “PCW!…PCW!…PCW!” WTF skips out of the ring and pulls a table from underneath. Table pitched into the ring. WTF sets it up. Drags Olbermann back up. Lift. Powerbomb through the table. Suave: “HOLY CRAP!” Crowd: “PCW!…PCW!…PCW!” Suave: “THE EXTREME ENFORCER IS BACK AND IN RARE FORM HERE TONIGHT.”

———————–

CATCH THE LATEST NEWS ON PCW AND OTHER GREAT E-FEDERATIONS AT THESE SITES:

E-Wresting Torch- E-Fed Television, Pay-Per-View, and Classic show reviews

E-Wrestling Nexus- The newest E-Wrestling hotspot to catch up on the latest news, cards, and e-wrestlers in the e-wrestling world

E-Wrestling Magazine- The home for all the latest e-federation news throughout the country.

————————–

RED SHIRT GUY (Independent) vs. ANDY DOONEY (Independent) continued…
Red Shirt Guy jumps out of the limo and scrambles to a waiting plane...

————————

Suave: “Ladies and Gentlemen. We just received word that our usual ring announcer, Charlene Ann Beckworth, who gamely decided to come up here despite being 9 months pregnant, has left the building as she’s gone into labor. If we hear anything else this evening, we will pass it on to you.”

MATCH #2 HALLIE BURTON w/’The Mastermind’ Karl Rove (Dick Cheney’s Extreme Neo-Con Alliance) vs. ‘Trailer Park Sweetheart’ TANYA HARDY w/the White Trash Posse and Trailer Park Barbi (Independent)
Suave:
“Well? This could be interesting? Or not.” The bell rings. Immediately, Burton launches herself forward and takes Hardy down with a double leg takedown. Reverse hurracanrana off the second rope follows. Burton clotheslines Hardy and sends her sprawling over the top to the floor. Suave: “Burton is all business tonight. She’s a former PCW Women’s champion and trying to find her way back into title contention.” Hardy back in. Burton catches her with a kick climbing in. Leg drop from the top rope by Burton. Cover. One…two- no. Suave: “Easy kickout for Hardy. Burton is taking the action right to her. *SMACK* SHE JUST SLAMMED HARDY’S HEAD ON THE RINGPOST!” Hardy staggers backwards. Suave: “Burton on the top rope again…HURRACANRANA! COVER. ONE…TWO…AGAIN HARDY KICKS OUT!”

Burton pulls Hardy up by the hair. Chinlock. Suave: “Burton slowing down the pace just a bit…WAIT! TRAILER TRASH BARBI ON THE APRON WITH A ROLLING PIN!” *SMACK* Burton breaks the hold and holds her head. Suave: “Hardy with a spinning firemans carry…INTO A BACKBREAKER! COVER. ONE…TWO- BURTON GETS THE SHOULDER UP!” Hardy tries a sunset flip. Burton pushes her back and hits a dropkick to the face. Suave: “HARDY CAUGHT THAT ONE RIGHT ON THE KISSER! SHE’S IN TROUBLE NOW. ANOTHER HURRACANRANA BY BURTON! SPRINGBOARD SENTON! COVER. ONE…TWO…SAVE BY TRAILER TRASH BARBI! HERE COMES THE WHITE TRASH POSSE!” Jeff and Shane whap Burton on the knee with their metal batons. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! BURTON IS DOWN! TRAILER TRASH BARBI HAS THE LEG…FIGURE FOUR! FIGURE FOUR!” Rove in the ring. He grabs Barbi’s shoulders and flings her down, breaking the hold. Suave: “ROVE MAKES THE SAVE ON BURTON BUT SHE’S HURT. HARDY DRIVES THE ELBOW INTO BURTON’S KNEE. AND AGAIN. ROVE TRIES TO BACK HER OFF…” Hardy gives Rove a forearm to the balls. Suave: “LOW-BLOW! LOW-BLOW!” Rove topples over. Hardy grabs Burton’s legs and spins around. Suave: “COULD THIS BE HARDY’S NIGHT? FIGURE FOUR LOCKED IN! BURTON IN TREMENDOUS PAIN! SHE TAPS! HUGE UPSET HERE TONIGHT!”

WINNER: ‘Trailer Park Sweetheart’ TANYA HARDY

Suave: “HARDY’S BIGGEST VICTORY IN PCW EVER! SHE UPSETS THE FORMER PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION HALLIE BURTON!”

———————

Paramedics wheel Charlene Ann Beckworth out on a stretcher. Her husband Will walks aside her. She is quickly placed inside an ambulance and it leaves.

——————–

UPCOMING EVENTS @ http://www.politicalwrestling.wordpress.com :
6/19- PCW Newsline with Gina Ramsey
6/24- PCW Extreme Political TV
6/26- PCW Newsline with Gina Ramsey
7/1- PCW Extreme Political TV
7/3- No Newsline or shows until 7/15
7/15- PCW Extreme Political TV

——————-

RED SHIRT GUY (Independent) vs. ANDY DOONEY (Independent) continued…
Red Shirt Guy’s private jet takes off from the airport towards an undisclosed location…

———————–

Quadruple R walks to the ring with the God Squad- Reverend Jerry Falwell, Jr., Reverend Pat Robertson, and Reverend Rick Warren.

Suave: “Quad R closely aligning himself with the God Squad.” Quad R: “Al Cahall. Let the record show in front of all of these people, that I am not the Quadruple R you once knew. You see, I used to be…hot tempered…” Crowd: “YOU STILL ARE!” Quad R: “I used to go to any extreme length to win a match…” Crowd: “YOU STILL DO!” Quad R: “And I used to lose matches by letting my emotions get the better of me.” Crowd: “THEY STILL DO!” Quad R cracks a smile. Quad R: “Even silly stuff like that used to get under my skin…but no more. Thanks to the God Squad, I’ve found a newfound balance that my life didn’t used to have. Thanks to the God Squad, I have a newfound purpose driven appreciation for life. So tonight, Al Cahall, don’t expect the old Randy “Road Rage” Richardson. Tonight is the debut of a new Quadruple R- the Right Reverend Randy Richardson.”

MATCH #3
QUADRUPLE R w/The God Squad-Rev. Falwell Jr., Rev. Robertson, and Rev. Warren (Dick Cheney’s Extreme Neo-Con Alliance)
vs.
AL CAHALL w/Nic Koteen and ‘The Princess of Political Incorrectness’ Andrea Doria (American Heartland Coalition)

Suave: “I guess we’re going to find out real quick just what this new incarnation of Quadruple R is going to be.” The bell rings. Quad R comes out and cuts the ring off. Lock up. Quad R pushes Cahall into the corner. Quad R stomps a mudhole in Cahall. Rev. Robertson wraps the thin ribbon used to keep your place in a hymnal and chokes out Cahall in his corner. Suave: “Um…where’s the change?” Quad R misses a knee drop. Cahall rolls to the floor but he’s still in the wrong part of Dodge. Rev. Warren nails Cahall with a hardcover copy of his book ‘The Purpose Driven Life. Quad R off the top rope with an axehandle to the shoulder. Facebuster on Cahall. Suave: “CAHALL IS GETTING MUGGED. AND HERE COMES NIC KOTEEN!” Koteen hits Quad R with a nasty clothesline. Flying shoulderblock by Koteen. Rev. Warren starts to raise the book again, Koteen sidekicks it into his face. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! WHAT A MOVE BY KOTEEN! KOTEEN THROWS QUAD R BACK INTO THE RING.” Cahall finds his way back in as well.

Staredown. Lockup. Irish Whip by Quad R- Cahall hits a shoulderblock. Cahall back into the ropes- flying shoulderblock. Cover. One…two…kickout. Suave: “I’ll say this much about the new and improved Quad R. So far, he’s keeping it relatively together.” Kick to the gut by Quad R. Spinebuster. Quad R covers. One…two…no. Suave: “CAHALL JUST GOT THAT SHOULDER UP!” Clothesline to Cahall. Rev. Falwell Jr. slides in and distracts Cahall. Quad R hits a suplex. Quad R fires Cahall into the corner and starts pounding away on Cahall. Koteen back in. He ducks a right hand by Quad R. Koteen for a slam, but Warren in and trips Koteen up. Quad R has Cahall perched on the top turnbuckle. He climbs up…top rope Quadruple Plex!  Suave: “HE’S GOT HIM! ONE…TWO…THREE!”

WINNER: QUADRUPLE R

Suave: “Well? I’m impressed with how the Right Reverend Randy Richardson held his poise against a good opponent. The proof of his transformation will come when he faces the big guns here in PCW.”

  —————–

RED SHIRT GUY (Independent) vs. ANDY DOONEY (Independent) continued…
The plane lands on a small airstrip at Cape Canaveral. Red Shirt Guy is whisked from the plane and taken away in a NASA vehicle.

—————–

PCW NEWSLINE:

KRC Named #5 in E-Wrestling Torch’s E-Wrestlers of the Week
Congratulations go out to the PCW Women’s Champion Kathryn Randall Collins for making the top 5 E-Wrestling Torch’s E-Wrestler of the week.

—————-

PCW GOES LIVE…

 Johnny Suave sits at a table in the patio of Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon. A wrestling ring sits directly behind him and Andy Dooney lays on the canvas- the same position he was when the Red Shirt Guy-Dooney match was suspended. High Octane Wrestling star Kirsta Lewis stands on the ring apron watching the sky forelornly.

Suave: “Hey, everyone. Johnny Suave here live at Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon. We originally going to show the match between Jack and Bull Schett and Cadillac and Jaguar but as you may know- some breaking news intervened and that match can be seen next Wednesday here on PCW Extreme Political TV. The news has been flying around from the EWrestling Zine to the EWNexus to the EWTorch about what went down with High Octane Television…hold on…” Suave looks behind him and does a doubletake. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! THAT’S HOW STAR KIRSTA LEWIS!…HERE IN PCW? WHAT’S GOING-” Joe Biden walks to a podium. Suave: “Hold on. All right, at this time, PCW CEO Barack Obama’s aide de camp, Joe Biden, will address what took place.

Biden stands behind the podium in front of the wrestling ring. Dooney is now playing cards with Lewis in the ring to keep himself busy.

Biden: “Thank you all for coming on such short notice. Ladies and gentlemen, as you know, HOTv announced a couple days back that they were going to air only High Octane Wrestling programming even though PCW had signed on with them. Now, when I heard that, and knowing that Barack was out of town, I thought to myself, what am I gonna tell him? I know, I’m gonna tell him his teleprompter is broken. That’ll distract him. But then, it just goes to show that literally, I was right after all- Even if we did everything right, if we did it with absolute certainty, there’s still a 30 percent chance we’re going to get it wrong. Well, in this case we did. My memory may not be as good as Chief Justice Roberts, God bless him, was on Inauguration Day…snicker…but I always thought a deal was a deal. When I was told about this, the first thing I wanted to do was literally hear it for myself. I asked one of my aides, ‘Hey! Do you know the website number?’ Well, I looked it up and literally here’s what the press release said:

Look I have complete control of the Wrestling and the Network and I am immediately canceling all the shows that have been broadcasting here on the High Octane Television network. The fact is that the risk is not worth the reward as we have seen companies like Ringside Wrestling, XWW, Saints Haven and several others either close or go thru ownership changes. There are just no good solid stable companies out there and although Siberian Wrestling does look promising as does PCW, I am just not going to gamble anymore now that I have complete control.

From this point on the only shows that will be aired here on the HOTv network will be shows directly related to High Octane Wrestling and that includes weekly shows, PPV’s and of course any shows the wrestlers do themselves.

Again there is just no reason to continue to try and help companies out that cannot help themselves. HOW is a proven company and has been going non stop for over a year now with no late shows and solid ratings throughout.

Thanks to all those that made an attempt to join the HOTv family but right now we are keeping HOTv in the family and that will start next Thursday with Turmoil!”- Lee Best, HOTv  

Biden: “Okay. I take exception to a couple things here. One. PCW has been going on for 4 straight years. As a result, we’ve literally created plenty of steady of what is my favorite three-letter-word- jobs…j-o-b-s… jobs. Two. Help companies out that cannot help themselves? Well, PCW may not be one of the…big three…e-federations out there but we’ve literally more than doubled our viewership since Barack Obama, God bless him, was named the PCW CEO in November. Our matches may not literally read like a chapter from Tolstoy’s War and Peace. Our wrestlers may not do death defying, literally unrealistic stunts disguised as extreme spots. We may not have the fancy websites and such. But we have heart. And we put out a damn good product week in and week out. While some federations literally switch off their belts every week, we here in PCW have a different idea. Belts mean something here. O’Beck Bahama, God bless him, chased the former PCW Champion Starz N. Stripes for nine ****ing months before he finally won the PCW Title. Here in PCW, titles aren’t won. They’re earned.” Biden pauses.

Jake Tapper raises his hand. Jake: “Joe, I’m a little confused here. Is PCW officially upset about this or not?” Biden: “Upset? No. I’m here tonight to show that PCW is just as exciting as all those other federations. Lee Best fell 40 feet from a helicopter through a cell at HOW War Games and left just a dent on the ring canvas. Whoop-de-****ing do. TONIGHT! ONE OF OUR PCW BOYS IS GOING TO GO ONE BETTER!”  Jake: “Joe, what the hell are you trying to say?” Biden: WHAT AM I TRYING TO SAY? JAKE OPEN YOUR ****-ING EYES AND LISTEN! WE ARE GOING TO DO THE BIGGEST, BADDEST, HIGHSPOT EVER IN PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING! IT’S GOING TO KICK TOTAL A–”  PCW CEO Barack Obama walks in.

Barack: “Joe, calm down. It’s okay, really.” Biden: “It’s okay?” Barack: “Jake, to answer your question- no. We are not upset at all with High Octane Television. I spoke with Lee Best last night and we’re fine. I look at it like this- they did what they felt they had to do. PCW needs to do what we need to do. Joe, you did know we re-signed with P-SPAN, right?” Biden: “We did? Yes…I knew that.” Barack: “And even though, High Octane TV would have been a unique opportunity that would have benefitted PCW, in the end, we’re just as well off as we were before. We will still be affiliated in some fashion with HOW. Everything’s fine.” Biden: “Oh…okay.” Obama turns and sees Kirsta Lewis and Andy Dooney sitting and playing cards in the ring. Barack: “Uh Joe? Why is there a ring set up behind me?” He notices Lewis in the ring. Barack: “Kirsta, how are you?” Lewis half waves and goes back to her card game. Barack: “And why is HOW star Kirsta Lewis and Andy Dooney in the ring playing cards?” Biden: “Um…well…no reason…really.” Lewis throws down a card and wins the hand. Dooney throws down his cards in disgust. Barack: “O-kay. Well, unless anyone has any more questions.”

Jake Tapper raises his hand. Barack: “Jake?” Jake: “Mr. CEO, Joe Biden said something a few minutes ago about the ‘biggest, baddest highspot ever in professional wrestling that will, and I quote here, kick total ass.’ Um…can you elaborate on that?” Barack: “Huh?” Obama looks at Biden. Biden looks sheepish. Barack: “Joe? What is he talking about?” Biden: “Well…you see…the other weekend Lee Best fell 40 feet from a helicopter. We were going to…um…top that.” Barack: “With what?” Biden covers his mouth so he can’t be heard. Barack: “What?” Biden again covers his mouth and responds. Barack: “Joe? What did you do?”

REPLAY: MORNING NEWS COVERAGE OF THE SPACE SHUTTLE LIFT-OFF
Red Shirt Guy, mission Commander Mark Polanksy, and the other six astronauts board the Space Shuttle Endeavor. The shuttle takes off early this morning.

Barack: “You didn’t.” Biden smiles. Barack: “We have to stop him. There’s no way he’ll make it through the atmosphere.” Biden: “He won’t?” Barack: “NO!” Biden: “Oh. Who’ve thunk that.” Barack goes to a live feed on the shuttle.

LIVE FEED FROM THE SHUTTLE PAYLOAD BAY
The Shuttle payload bay doors are open. It’s complete chaos as Red Shirt Guy struggles with the other 7 astronauts. “You can’t do that. You’ll die.” Red Shirt Guy pushes one astronaut away. “Only an idiot would think he’d survive a fall like that.” Red Shirt Guy gives another astronaut a stunner. The astronaut flops twenty feet into the air before returning to the payload bay floor. Red Shirt Guy follows with a missile drop kick and sends an astronaut flying forty feet across the Bay where he slams into the payload bay wall. One astronaut grabs him from behind. Backkick to the groin. Backfist by Red Shirt Guy sends the astronaut flying into another wall. Red Shirt Guy: “BANZAI!” He leaps from the shuttle in the elbow drop position and hurtles back towards Earth.”

Lewis looks up in horror. Lewis: “OH MY GOD! (in slow motion) N-NOOOOOOOOOO!”

Everyone turns and looks up. Red Shirt Guy’s voice: “WOW! THIS IS GREAT! I CAN SEE…THE WHOLE WORLD MAN, THIS IS AWESOME!” Dooney lays back down on the mat and prepares for the spot.

Red Shirt Guy’s voice: “Hey…it’s starting to get a little warm up here…” Biden: “Maybe someone should go cover that guy in the ring.” Lewis starts slapping Biden. Biden: “Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!…” Red Shirt Guy’s voice: “…Actually, it’s getting rather toasty up here…*sniff* *sniff* hmmm, something’s burning…I wonder what it could be?” Barack slaps his forehead, sighs, and starts shaking his head. Red Shirt Guy’s voice: “…Oh…I see…my suits on fire……MY SUITS ON FIRE? ARRGHHHHH- *STATIC*

*SONIC BOOM*

Small fireball.

All: “OOOOOOOOOOH!”

Pretty light show.

All: “AAAAAAAAAAAH!”

Lewis’s demeanor turns from shock and awe to normal. Lewis: “Well, who’s up for a beer? I’m buying.” Barack: “Right…no more questions.” Barack leaves and drags Biden with him…

—————————–

Other political stories:
Huff Post, Virginian, Full Ginsberg, J Harvey, Washington City Paper,   Pinstripe Bindi, Huff Post, McLean’s CA, Calif.Blue Dog, Blogs of Micah, Gholsten Post, Mudflats, Mudflats, Shannyn Moore, CNN, Fastidious, CNN, CNN,

PCW Re-Ups with P-SPAN

PRESS RELEASE:

P-SPAN CEO Ken Jeffers, Founder Brian Lamb, and Programming Chief Blaine Magner announced yesterday that they have signed Political Championship Wrestling to a new four year contract to continue to provide programming on the political channel. 

PCW on P-SPAN will resume in late August as per the deal.  More details will be announced and PCW will formally comment on the deal tomorrow night in a special segment on PCW Extreme Political TV.

PCW’s Ring Announcer Gives Birth to Baby Girl.

Political Championship Wrestling would like to congratulate our long time ring announcer and owner of Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon, Charlene Ann Beckworth, and her husband Will on the birth of their daughter- Regina Allison last night.

Charlene Ann worked part of PCW’s taping up in Chelsea, Michigan on Saturday until she began to feel labor pains. She was transported to a local hospital and then transferred to the Fulton County Hospital where she gave birth.

PCW Correspondent Gina Ramsey will take over as ring announcer in the short term.

6/14-PCW on P-SPAN

Team Progressive Alliance (PCW Champion O’Beck Bahama, PCW Women’s Champion Kathryn Randall Collins, ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido, and Starz N. Stripes) vs. Team American Patriots + 1 (A. Tom Bomb, PCW Tag Team Champions Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit, PCW Television Champion SNAFU)

Team SarahPAC (NRA, Grizzly Adam, Hunter the Hunter, and Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen) vs. The Island of Misfit Wrestlers (‘The King of Old School Gimmicks’ Baron Von Munchke, Mr. Jaundice, Captain Nausea, and Jimmy from SoCal- the Jim Rome wannbe)

Team American Heartland Coalition (Average Joe, American Trucker, Tequila Sheila, and Dave the Mechanic) vs. The Green World Order (‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee, GreenPete, Peta from PETA, and PeaceNick)

—————–

Concerto for Trumpet, no. 2 by Johann Melchior Molter (1696-1765) plays as an introduction…

Stuffy Announcer Type: “And now, it’s time for Political Championship Wrestling on P-SPAN. Tonight’s program was taped last night at Ol’ Man Hanson’s Barn in Chelsea, Michigan.”

David Letterman is in the ring. Letterman: “Look, I’d like Sarah and Willow Palin to come out so we can clear all this up right now.” ‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin, hockey stick in hand, and her daughter, Willow, come out and join him in the ring. Letterman: “All right. I’m telling you, I recognize that these are ugly. These are actually ugly. These are borderline … but again, in an act of desperation to get cheap laughs, which is what I’ve been doing for the last 30 years. These are not jokes made about your 14-year-old daughter. I would never, never make jokes about raping or having sex of any description with a 14-year-old girl.” Palin’s expression doesn’t change. Letterman: “If I’m guilty of anything, I’m guilty of bad taste. Can we all just move on? Look, you can come on my show and just…move on.”

Sarah Palin: “Well, David. I’ll decline giving you a ratings boost by coming on your show. As for your apology…what do you think Willow?” She hands the mic to her daughter. Willow: “Kick his ass, Mom.” *THWACK* Palin breaks the hockey stick over Letterman’s head. Letterman staggers and falls to the canvas. Willow runs up and kicks him in the groin. She covers.

MATCH #1
WILLOW PALIN w/’The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin

vs.
DAVID LETTERMAN
A referee jumps in the ring. One. Two. Three.

WINNER: WILLOW PALIN

——————–

PCW NEWSLINE with Gina Ramsey

Gina: “Hey y’all. Gina Ramsey here at PCW Control with a quick look at the week in PCW Political Wrestling…”

Fall Out From PCW Loose Cannons Unleashed 5
-A ‘For Sale’ sign appeared yesterday at what used to be the Domination Inc. Suite and it appears the corporation is headed for liquidation. With the loss of CFO Gordon Guyko and his group of wealthy investors, Domination Inc. looks dead in the water. The next question is what will happen to the remaining wrestlers under contract. Cadillac, Jaguar, Mercedes, and Porsche Lexus will wrestle tonight on PCW on P-SPAN. It looks like when all is said and done that the four will become free agents and available for groups to pick up.

-The hot rumor rolling around PCW is that ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann has asked PCW CEO Barack Obama for a bailout to keep Domination Inc. operating.

Gina: “I spoke with PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein over the weekend and he confirms that Mr. McMann was turned down flat by PCW CEO Barack Obama. I would not count on any bailout for Domination Inc.

American Patriots Still In Disarray
-A. Tom Bomb was upset over Rahm Emanuel’s interference in his title match against PCW Champion O’Beck Bahama Sunday night. He was furious at the American Patriots for not sending someone out to help him win the title. American Patriot Executive Director Michael Steele, ‘The Innovator of Extreme Broadcast Excellence’ Rush Limbaugh, Newt Gingrich, and the Straight Shooter John McCain got into a squabble backstage over who would do the run-in to help A-Bomb out. As the four argued, Rahm Emanuel was able to sneak in and drop an F-Bomb on Daisy Cutter-Bomb and then pulled Bahama over on top of A-Bomb to get the win.

Gina: “We’ll find out later on if the American Patriots are getting on the same page. A. Tom Bomb, PCW Tag Team Champions Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit, and Independent PCW Television Champion SNAFU meet up against the Progressive Alliance (PCW Champion O’Beck Bahama, PCW Women’s Champion Kathryn Randall Collins, ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido, and Starz N. Stripes) in an eight-person tag team match later on in the show.

KRC Named #5 in E-Wrestling Torch’s E-Wrestlers of the Week
Congratulations go out to the PCW Women’s Champion Kathryn Randall Collins for making the top 5 E-Wrestling Torch’s E-Wrestler of the week.

—————-

Charlene Ann Beckworth in the ring for introductions. Charlene Ann: “Our next match features the American Heartland Coalition versus The Green World Order.” Both teams are already in the ring and ready to rumble.

MATCH #2
TEAM AMERICAN HEARTLAND COALTION (Average Joe, American Trucker, Tequila Sheila, and Dave the Mechanic
vs.
THE GREEN WORLD ORDER’ (Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee, GreenPete, Peta from PETA, and PeaceNick)

The bell rings. It starts with Brock Cole Lee and Average Joe. Lee shoves Average Joe into the corner. The referee gets distracted because the American Trucker races across the ring and blasts Lee with a forearm. GreenPete slips in and attacks Average Joe from behind. GreenPete delivers a series of stiff punches and then a kick to the sternum. Whip into the corner by GreenPete. He presses the attack with a huge haymaker that sends Average Joe reeling across the ring. American Trucker and Brock Cole Lee take their battle to the outside. Lee’s hurt but begins to fight back. American Trucker attempts a German Suplex but Lee flips out of it onto his feet. Spinning Russian Leg Sweep by Lee. Lee heaves the trucker back into the ring and goes for a pin. One…two…Dave the Mechanic breaks it up. Lee pulls Average Joe into his corner and officially tags in GreenPete.

GreenPete unloads right hands to Average Joe on the ropes. Irish Whip, Average Joe attempts a reverse but GreenPete kicks him in the gut. GreenPete tries a suplex but Dave the Mechanic in again and stops him with a knee strike. Dave whips GreenPete into the American Heartland corner. American Trucker and Average Joe work him over. Brock Cole Lee charges across the ring. AT and AJ duck out of the way and Lee catches GreenPete with a back elbow. Average Joe sets GreenPete up in the corner. AJ goes for the Splash but GreenPete evades it. GreenPete to the top turnbuckle. Tequila Sheila tries to distract him but Peta from PETA in and dropkicks off her off the apron. American Trucker leaps to the top rope, steadies and nails GreenPete with the Jake Brake to the mat! Average Joe covers. One…two…NO! Save by Brock Cole Lee.

American Trucker hits a reverse atomic drop on Lee. Peta in the ring and tries to direct AT’s attention away. Tequila Sheila slides in under the bottom rope and tackles Peta. CAT-FIIIIIIGHT. CAT-FIIIIIIIGHT! Average Joe pulls GreenPete up…AVERAGE SLAM! Cover. One…two…NO! Peta makes the save this time and gets tackled by Tequila Sheila again. PeaceNick in the ring for the first time. He choloforms Average Joe with a handkerchief and knocks him out. GreenPete covers. One…two…Dave the Mechanic makes the save. Tequila Sheila throws him a live pair of jumper cables…*ZZZZAP* GreenPete out. American Trucker rolls Average Joe on top. *ZZZAP* Dave the Mechanic takes out Brock Cole Lee… *ZZZZAP* …and PeaceNick. Tequila Sheila again tackles Peta from PETA. The referee counts. One…two…three.

WINNER: THE AMERICAN HEARTLAND COALITION

———————–

CATCH THE LATEST NEWS ON PCW AND OTHER GREAT E-FEDERATIONS AT THESE SITES:
E-Wresting Torch- E-Fed Television, Pay-Per-View, and Classic show reviews
E-Wrestling Nexus- The newest E-Wrestling hotspot to catch up on the latest news, cards, and e-wrestlers in the e-wrestling world
E-Wrestling Magazine- The home for all the latest e-federation news throughout the country.

———————

Charlene Ann in the ring again. Charlene Ann: “Our next match was to have featured the members of Domination Inc. However, due to the liquidation of Domination Inc., there’s been a change in the lineup. Instead, the next match will be SarahPAC vs. ‘The Island of Misfit Wrestlers.”

MATCH #3
SARAHPAC (NRA, Grizzly Adam, Hunter the Hunter, and Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen)

vs.
THE ISLAND OF MISFIT WRESTLERS (‘The King of Old School Gimmicks’ Baron Von Munchke, Mr. Jaundice, Captain Nausea, and Jimmy from SoCal- the Jim Rome wannbe.)

No Movie Classic in the Misfit’s corner tonight. The bell rings. Jimmy from SoCal is so geeked up- he wants first crack at SarahPAC. Jimmy calls his shot- he’s going wire to wire against Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen. Kalee in. Jimmy tries to rack her. Kalee clubs him in the back with a closed fist and drives Jimmy to the canvas. Kalee lifts him up…ESKIMO PIEFACE! She covers…one…two…three.

WINNER: SARAHPAC

Jimmy from SoCal does not get racked, he gets run…badly. He lays sprawled out on the canvas. The other members of the Island of Misfit Wrestlers can’t believe what just took place. They shake their heads and leave Jimmy in the ring.

———————

PCW RANKINGS

PCW WORLD CHAMPION: ‘The New Rookie Sensation’ O’Beck Bahama (Progressive Alliance)
CONTENDERS:
#1- A. Tom Bomb (American Patriots)
#2- Starz N. Stripes (Progressive Alliance)
#3- Randy “Road Rage” Richardson (Extreme Neo-Con Alliance)

PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION: Kathryn Randall Collins (Progressive Alliance)
CONTENDERS:
#1- Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (SarahPac)
#2- Mercedes (Independent)
#3- Hallie Burton (Dick Cheney’s Extreme Neo-Con Alliance)

PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit (Dick Cheney’s Extreme Neo-Con Alliance)
CONTENDERS:
#1- Cadillac and Jaguar (Independent)
#2- ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido and Starz N. Stripes (Progressive Alliance)
#3- Hunter the Hunter & Grizzly Adam (SarahPAC)

PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION: SNAFU (Independent)
CONTENDERS:
#1- Newt Tron Bomb (American Patriots)
#2- American Trucker (American Heartland Coalition)
#3- Dave the Mechanic (American Heartland Coalition)

————————–

UPCOMING EVENTS @ http://www.politicalwrestling.wordpress.com :
6/17- PCW End of the Season Extravaganza
6/19- PCW Newsline with Gina Ramsey
6/24- PCW Extreme Political TV
6/26- PCW Newsline with Gina Ramsey
7/1- PCW Extreme Political TV
7/3- No Newsline or shows until 7/15
7/15- PCW Extreme Political TV

————————-

Once again, Charlene Ann in the ring. Charlene Ann: “Ladies and gentlemen, here is our main event. In this corner, The American Patriots- Plus One!” A. Tom Bomb, PCW Tag Team Champions Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit, and Independent PCW Television Champion SNAFU warm up in one corner. Charlene Ann: “Their opponents, The Progressive Alliance!” In the other corner, PCW Champion O’Beck Bahama, PCW Women’s Champion Kathryn Randall Collins, ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido, and Starz N. Stripes shake hands and discuss strategy.

MATCH #4
AMERICAN PATRIOTS + 1 (PCW Tag Team Champions Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit, PCW Television Champion SNAFU and A. Tom Bomb)
vs.
PROGRESSIVE ALLIANCE (PCW Champion O’Beck Bahama, PCW Women’s Champion Kathryn Randall Collins, ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido, and Starz N. Stripes)
NOTE: All five current PCW Championship beltholders are in this match.

The bell rings. A-Bomb goes right for the PCW Champion. PCW Tag Team Champs Big Oil and Walstreit lock up with Escondido and Starz. PCW Women’s Champion KRC tackles the PCW TV Champion SNAFU. KRC puts SNAFU in the Politics of Personal Destruction submission. Walstreit with the save. Back kick by KRC to Walstreit in the jewels. Russian leg sweep by KRC. Politics of Personal Destruction slapped on Walstreit. Texas Cowgirl Haley Dallas runs-in and makes the save. Dallas and KRC exchange vicious chops. Big Oil grabs KRC by the throat. “Rahm-bo” Rahm Emanuel runs-in with steel folding chair. *CLANG* Big Oil drops KRC. Emanuel drops an F-Bomb on Big Oil. *CLANG* SNAFU levels Emanuel with a steel folding chair. *CLANG* SNAFU takes out KRC with the chair. Escondido kicks the chair into SNAFU’s face. Cover. One…two…A-Bomb with the save.

Referee Davey Keels tries to restore some order to the match. A-Bomb and Escondido lock up in the center of the ring. Escondido with a rear chin lock. A-Bomb powers out of it. A-Bomb unloads hard rights to Escondido. He charges, Escondido slips around and gets a Samoan Drop! Escondido covers. One…two…kickout by A-Bomb. Escondido tags in Starz. Starz slams A-Bomb’s head onto Escondido’s knee. Starz goes for the pin. One…two…another kick out by A-Bomb. Whip into the corner by Starz. A-Bomb is tripped up by KRC and falls to the mat. Starz covers. One…two…A-Bomb again kicks out. Starz goes for another cover. One…two…kick out. Starz locks in an armbar. A-Bomb slowly gets to his feet and powers out of the move. He makes the corner and tags in Big Oil. Big Oil in. Starz tries an Irish Whip. Big Oil answers with a stiff shot to the jaw! Big Oil sends Starz for the ride and connects with a huge belly-to-belly suplex! Big Oil covers. One…two…Starz gets the shoulder up.

Big Oil goes side headlock and switches to a front headlock. He lifts Starz…front sit down slam. Another cover. PCW Champion O’Beck Bahama makes the save. Big Oil stops him with a scoop slam and tags in Kirk Walstreit. Walstreit hooks Starz’s ankle and grapevines the leg to keep him in the middle of the ring. Starz kicks Walstreit off and makes for his corner. Starz leaps for the tag but Walstreit catches him and pulls him back. Starz again leaps towards his corner, Walstreit again pulls back, Starz reverses into a Sunset Flip. One…two…Walstreit kicks out. Starz reaches the corner and tags in the PCW Champion. Bahama springboards off the top rope and nails Walstreit with a missile dropkick! KRC also goes top rope and lands a big leg drop on Walstreit. Spinning back kick by Bahama. SNAFU in. He grabs KRC from behind and lifts her up and over backwards…back bridge pin attempt. No count- SNAFU’s not the legal man in the ring. Walstreit tries to attack Bahama from behind. Bahama ducks and hits a huge back body drop. Bahama off the top rope and hits the flying forearm. Bahama covers. SNAFU goes for a chairshot and Bahama vacates his position. *CLANG* SNAFU chairshot on Walstreit by accident.

American Patriot Executive Director Michael Steele, ‘The Straight Shooter’ John McCain, Newt Gingrich, and the Innovator of Extreme Broadcast Excellence Rush Limbaugh race to the ring. Bahama stomps Walstreit but Big Oil comes in and throws Bahama out of the ring. Escondido and Starz doubleteam Big Oil. Now Steele, McCain, Gingrich, and Limbaugh in the ring. Gingrich tries to kick Escondido. Escondido catches his foot and tries to attack back but Steele nails him with a chairshot. KRC takes the chair away from Steele. She swings, Steele ducks but KRC drills Limbaugh on the button with the chair. He’s down. SNAFU roll up from behind on KRC- again no count as SNAFU isn’t the legal man in the ring. KRC blasts SNAFU with a double kick to the ears. She locks in the Politics of Personal Destruction on SNAFU. Everybody in now. Emanuel drops an F-Bomb to Gingrich. F-Bomb to McCain. F-Bomb to Big Oil. A second F-Bomb for A-Bomb. Steele grabs the chair again. He swings at Emanuel and whiffs. But he nails Walstreit flush. Walstreit down. Bahama goes 450 Splash. Cover. One…F-Bomb to Steele….two…three.

WINNER: THE PROGRESSIVE ALLIANCE

The Progressive Alliance celebrate in the ring. Steele can’t believe what he just did.

PCW Extreme Political TV coming up Wednesday night…see you then.

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