Team Progressive Alliance (PCW Champion O’Beck Bahama, PCW Women’s Champion Kathryn Randall Collins, ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido, and Starz N. Stripes) vs. Team American Patriots + 1 (A. Tom Bomb, PCW Tag Team Champions Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit, PCW Television Champion SNAFU)
Team SarahPAC (NRA, Grizzly Adam, Hunter the Hunter, and Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen) vs. The Island of Misfit Wrestlers (‘The King of Old School Gimmicks’ Baron Von Munchke, Mr. Jaundice, Captain Nausea, and Jimmy from SoCal- the Jim Rome wannbe)
Team American Heartland Coalition (Average Joe, American Trucker, Tequila Sheila, and Dave the Mechanic) vs. The Green World Order (‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee, GreenPete, Peta from PETA, and PeaceNick)
Concerto for Trumpet, no. 2 by Johann Melchior Molter (1696-1765) plays as an introduction…
David Letterman is in the ring. Letterman: “Look, I’d like Sarah and Willow Palin to come out so we can clear all this up right now.” ‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin, hockey stick in hand, and her daughter, Willow, come out and join him in the ring. Letterman: “All right. I’m telling you, I recognize that these are ugly. These are actually ugly. These are borderline … but again, in an act of desperation to get cheap laughs, which is what I’ve been doing for the last 30 years. These are not jokes made about your 14-year-old daughter. I would never, never make jokes about raping or having sex of any description with a 14-year-old girl.” Palin’s expression doesn’t change. Letterman: “If I’m guilty of anything, I’m guilty of bad taste. Can we all just move on? Look, you can come on my show and just…move on.”
Sarah Palin: “Well, David. I’ll decline giving you a ratings boost by coming on your show. As for your apology…what do you think Willow?” She hands the mic to her daughter. Willow: “Kick his ass, Mom.” *THWACK* Palin breaks the hockey stick over Letterman’s head. Letterman staggers and falls to the canvas. Willow runs up and kicks him in the groin. She covers.
WILLOW PALIN w/’The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin
A referee jumps in the ring. One. Two. Three.
WINNER: WILLOW PALIN
PCW NEWSLINE with Gina Ramsey
Gina: “Hey y’all. Gina Ramsey here at PCW Control with a quick look at the week in PCW Political Wrestling…”
Fall Out From PCW Loose Cannons Unleashed 5
-A ‘For Sale’ sign appeared yesterday at what used to be the Domination Inc. Suite and it appears the corporation is headed for liquidation. With the loss of CFO Gordon Guyko and his group of wealthy investors, Domination Inc. looks dead in the water. The next question is what will happen to the remaining wrestlers under contract. Cadillac, Jaguar, Mercedes, and Porsche Lexus will wrestle tonight on PCW on P-SPAN. It looks like when all is said and done that the four will become free agents and available for groups to pick up.
-The hot rumor rolling around PCW is that ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann has asked PCW CEO Barack Obama for a bailout to keep Domination Inc. operating.
Gina: “I spoke with PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein over the weekend and he confirms that Mr. McMann was turned down flat by PCW CEO Barack Obama. I would not count on any bailout for Domination Inc.
American Patriots Still In Disarray
-A. Tom Bomb was upset over Rahm Emanuel’s interference in his title match against PCW Champion O’Beck Bahama Sunday night. He was furious at the American Patriots for not sending someone out to help him win the title. American Patriot Executive Director Michael Steele, ‘The Innovator of Extreme Broadcast Excellence’ Rush Limbaugh, Newt Gingrich, and the Straight Shooter John McCain got into a squabble backstage over who would do the run-in to help A-Bomb out. As the four argued, Rahm Emanuel was able to sneak in and drop an F-Bomb on Daisy Cutter-Bomb and then pulled Bahama over on top of A-Bomb to get the win.
Gina: “We’ll find out later on if the American Patriots are getting on the same page. A. Tom Bomb, PCW Tag Team Champions Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit, and Independent PCW Television Champion SNAFU meet up against the Progressive Alliance (PCW Champion O’Beck Bahama, PCW Women’s Champion Kathryn Randall Collins, ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido, and Starz N. Stripes) in an eight-person tag team match later on in the show.
KRC Named #5 in E-Wrestling Torch’s E-Wrestlers of the Week
Congratulations go out to the PCW Women’s Champion Kathryn Randall Collins for making the top 5 E-Wrestling Torch’s E-Wrestler of the week.
Charlene Ann Beckworth in the ring for introductions. Charlene Ann: “Our next match features the American Heartland Coalition versus The Green World Order.” Both teams are already in the ring and ready to rumble.
TEAM AMERICAN HEARTLAND COALTION (Average Joe, American Trucker, Tequila Sheila, and Dave the Mechanic
THE GREEN WORLD ORDER’ (Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee, GreenPete, Peta from PETA, and PeaceNick)
The bell rings. It starts with Brock Cole Lee and Average Joe. Lee shoves Average Joe into the corner. The referee gets distracted because the American Trucker races across the ring and blasts Lee with a forearm. GreenPete slips in and attacks Average Joe from behind. GreenPete delivers a series of stiff punches and then a kick to the sternum. Whip into the corner by GreenPete. He presses the attack with a huge haymaker that sends Average Joe reeling across the ring. American Trucker and Brock Cole Lee take their battle to the outside. Lee’s hurt but begins to fight back. American Trucker attempts a German Suplex but Lee flips out of it onto his feet. Spinning Russian Leg Sweep by Lee. Lee heaves the trucker back into the ring and goes for a pin. One…two…Dave the Mechanic breaks it up. Lee pulls Average Joe into his corner and officially tags in GreenPete.
GreenPete unloads right hands to Average Joe on the ropes. Irish Whip, Average Joe attempts a reverse but GreenPete kicks him in the gut. GreenPete tries a suplex but Dave the Mechanic in again and stops him with a knee strike. Dave whips GreenPete into the American Heartland corner. American Trucker and Average Joe work him over. Brock Cole Lee charges across the ring. AT and AJ duck out of the way and Lee catches GreenPete with a back elbow. Average Joe sets GreenPete up in the corner. AJ goes for the Splash but GreenPete evades it. GreenPete to the top turnbuckle. Tequila Sheila tries to distract him but Peta from PETA in and dropkicks off her off the apron. American Trucker leaps to the top rope, steadies and nails GreenPete with the Jake Brake to the mat! Average Joe covers. One…two…NO! Save by Brock Cole Lee.
American Trucker hits a reverse atomic drop on Lee. Peta in the ring and tries to direct AT’s attention away. Tequila Sheila slides in under the bottom rope and tackles Peta. CAT-FIIIIIIGHT. CAT-FIIIIIIIGHT! Average Joe pulls GreenPete up…AVERAGE SLAM! Cover. One…two…NO! Peta makes the save this time and gets tackled by Tequila Sheila again. PeaceNick in the ring for the first time. He choloforms Average Joe with a handkerchief and knocks him out. GreenPete covers. One…two…Dave the Mechanic makes the save. Tequila Sheila throws him a live pair of jumper cables…*ZZZZAP* GreenPete out. American Trucker rolls Average Joe on top. *ZZZAP* Dave the Mechanic takes out Brock Cole Lee… *ZZZZAP* …and PeaceNick. Tequila Sheila again tackles Peta from PETA. The referee counts. One…two…three.
WINNER: THE AMERICAN HEARTLAND COALITION
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Charlene Ann in the ring again. Charlene Ann: “Our next match was to have featured the members of Domination Inc. However, due to the liquidation of Domination Inc., there’s been a change in the lineup. Instead, the next match will be SarahPAC vs. ‘The Island of Misfit Wrestlers.”
SARAHPAC (NRA, Grizzly Adam, Hunter the Hunter, and Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen)
THE ISLAND OF MISFIT WRESTLERS (‘The King of Old School Gimmicks’ Baron Von Munchke, Mr. Jaundice, Captain Nausea, and Jimmy from SoCal- the Jim Rome wannbe.)
No Movie Classic in the Misfit’s corner tonight. The bell rings. Jimmy from SoCal is so geeked up- he wants first crack at SarahPAC. Jimmy calls his shot- he’s going wire to wire against Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen. Kalee in. Jimmy tries to rack her. Kalee clubs him in the back with a closed fist and drives Jimmy to the canvas. Kalee lifts him up…ESKIMO PIEFACE! She covers…one…two…three.
Jimmy from SoCal does not get racked, he gets run…badly. He lays sprawled out on the canvas. The other members of the Island of Misfit Wrestlers can’t believe what just took place. They shake their heads and leave Jimmy in the ring.
PCW WORLD CHAMPION: ‘The New Rookie Sensation’ O’Beck Bahama (Progressive Alliance)
#1- A. Tom Bomb (American Patriots)
#2- Starz N. Stripes (Progressive Alliance)
#3- Randy “Road Rage” Richardson (Extreme Neo-Con Alliance)
PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION: Kathryn Randall Collins (Progressive Alliance)
#1- Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (SarahPac)
#2- Mercedes (Independent)
#3- Hallie Burton (Dick Cheney’s Extreme Neo-Con Alliance)
PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit (Dick Cheney’s Extreme Neo-Con Alliance)
#1- Cadillac and Jaguar (Independent)
#2- ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido and Starz N. Stripes (Progressive Alliance)
#3- Hunter the Hunter & Grizzly Adam (SarahPAC)
PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION: SNAFU (Independent)
#1- Newt Tron Bomb (American Patriots)
#2- American Trucker (American Heartland Coalition)
#3- Dave the Mechanic (American Heartland Coalition)
UPCOMING EVENTS @ http://www.politicalwrestling.wordpress.com :
6/17- PCW End of the Season Extravaganza
6/19- PCW Newsline with Gina Ramsey
6/24- PCW Extreme Political TV
6/26- PCW Newsline with Gina Ramsey
7/1- PCW Extreme Political TV
7/3- No Newsline or shows until 7/15
7/15- PCW Extreme Political TV
Once again, Charlene Ann in the ring. Charlene Ann: “Ladies and gentlemen, here is our main event. In this corner, The American Patriots- Plus One!” A. Tom Bomb, PCW Tag Team Champions Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit, and Independent PCW Television Champion SNAFU warm up in one corner. Charlene Ann: “Their opponents, The Progressive Alliance!” In the other corner, PCW Champion O’Beck Bahama, PCW Women’s Champion Kathryn Randall Collins, ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido, and Starz N. Stripes shake hands and discuss strategy.
AMERICAN PATRIOTS + 1 (PCW Tag Team Champions Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit, PCW Television Champion SNAFU and A. Tom Bomb)
PROGRESSIVE ALLIANCE (PCW Champion O’Beck Bahama, PCW Women’s Champion Kathryn Randall Collins, ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido, and Starz N. Stripes)
NOTE: All five current PCW Championship beltholders are in this match.
The bell rings. A-Bomb goes right for the PCW Champion. PCW Tag Team Champs Big Oil and Walstreit lock up with Escondido and Starz. PCW Women’s Champion KRC tackles the PCW TV Champion SNAFU. KRC puts SNAFU in the Politics of Personal Destruction submission. Walstreit with the save. Back kick by KRC to Walstreit in the jewels. Russian leg sweep by KRC. Politics of Personal Destruction slapped on Walstreit. Texas Cowgirl Haley Dallas runs-in and makes the save. Dallas and KRC exchange vicious chops. Big Oil grabs KRC by the throat. “Rahm-bo” Rahm Emanuel runs-in with steel folding chair. *CLANG* Big Oil drops KRC. Emanuel drops an F-Bomb on Big Oil. *CLANG* SNAFU levels Emanuel with a steel folding chair. *CLANG* SNAFU takes out KRC with the chair. Escondido kicks the chair into SNAFU’s face. Cover. One…two…A-Bomb with the save.
Referee Davey Keels tries to restore some order to the match. A-Bomb and Escondido lock up in the center of the ring. Escondido with a rear chin lock. A-Bomb powers out of it. A-Bomb unloads hard rights to Escondido. He charges, Escondido slips around and gets a Samoan Drop! Escondido covers. One…two…kickout by A-Bomb. Escondido tags in Starz. Starz slams A-Bomb’s head onto Escondido’s knee. Starz goes for the pin. One…two…another kick out by A-Bomb. Whip into the corner by Starz. A-Bomb is tripped up by KRC and falls to the mat. Starz covers. One…two…A-Bomb again kicks out. Starz goes for another cover. One…two…kick out. Starz locks in an armbar. A-Bomb slowly gets to his feet and powers out of the move. He makes the corner and tags in Big Oil. Big Oil in. Starz tries an Irish Whip. Big Oil answers with a stiff shot to the jaw! Big Oil sends Starz for the ride and connects with a huge belly-to-belly suplex! Big Oil covers. One…two…Starz gets the shoulder up.
Big Oil goes side headlock and switches to a front headlock. He lifts Starz…front sit down slam. Another cover. PCW Champion O’Beck Bahama makes the save. Big Oil stops him with a scoop slam and tags in Kirk Walstreit. Walstreit hooks Starz’s ankle and grapevines the leg to keep him in the middle of the ring. Starz kicks Walstreit off and makes for his corner. Starz leaps for the tag but Walstreit catches him and pulls him back. Starz again leaps towards his corner, Walstreit again pulls back, Starz reverses into a Sunset Flip. One…two…Walstreit kicks out. Starz reaches the corner and tags in the PCW Champion. Bahama springboards off the top rope and nails Walstreit with a missile dropkick! KRC also goes top rope and lands a big leg drop on Walstreit. Spinning back kick by Bahama. SNAFU in. He grabs KRC from behind and lifts her up and over backwards…back bridge pin attempt. No count- SNAFU’s not the legal man in the ring. Walstreit tries to attack Bahama from behind. Bahama ducks and hits a huge back body drop. Bahama off the top rope and hits the flying forearm. Bahama covers. SNAFU goes for a chairshot and Bahama vacates his position. *CLANG* SNAFU chairshot on Walstreit by accident.
American Patriot Executive Director Michael Steele, ‘The Straight Shooter’ John McCain, Newt Gingrich, and the Innovator of Extreme Broadcast Excellence Rush Limbaugh race to the ring. Bahama stomps Walstreit but Big Oil comes in and throws Bahama out of the ring. Escondido and Starz doubleteam Big Oil. Now Steele, McCain, Gingrich, and Limbaugh in the ring. Gingrich tries to kick Escondido. Escondido catches his foot and tries to attack back but Steele nails him with a chairshot. KRC takes the chair away from Steele. She swings, Steele ducks but KRC drills Limbaugh on the button with the chair. He’s down. SNAFU roll up from behind on KRC- again no count as SNAFU isn’t the legal man in the ring. KRC blasts SNAFU with a double kick to the ears. She locks in the Politics of Personal Destruction on SNAFU. Everybody in now. Emanuel drops an F-Bomb to Gingrich. F-Bomb to McCain. F-Bomb to Big Oil. A second F-Bomb for A-Bomb. Steele grabs the chair again. He swings at Emanuel and whiffs. But he nails Walstreit flush. Walstreit down. Bahama goes 450 Splash. Cover. One…F-Bomb to Steele….two…three.
WINNER: THE PROGRESSIVE ALLIANCE
The Progressive Alliance celebrate in the ring. Steele can’t believe what he just did.
PCW Extreme Political TV coming up Wednesday night…see you then.
Filed under: Average Joe, Barack Obama, Blogs- Pro Wrestling, democrats, Independents, joe six pack, Joe the Plumber, John McCain, Paul Heyman, political satire, political wrestling, Politics, Pro Wrestling, red state, republicans, Small Town America, Third Party, wordpress political blogs Tagged: | C-SPAN, ECW, Extreme Championship Wrestling, Michael Steele, Rahm Emanuel, Ring of Honor, ROH, Rush Limbaugh, TNA, World Wrestling Entertainment, WWE