Mike Polowy Segment
”Mom’s and dads, now might be a great time to tell little Billy to piss off for awhile.
Why? Because I’m not exactly going to be weaving a touching family tale here for the next several pages. For those of you teen and tweenagers out in blogland who’s parents are too busy doing anything but being parents right now, I want you to remember some of the words you see inside here today, and be sure to use them whenever possible.
Alright, this is fucking bullshit.
I mean, I get it. Tessa Martin might not be able to have babies anymore, boo hoo, I heard the whole fucking story enough times in the last two days to make me wanna vomit harder than a cheerleader with a cute face but fat thighs (PS, kids, bulimia is a GREAT way to lose weight. Write that down!). And everyone keeps looking down at me over their pointy little noses, like I’m supposed to feel some kind of guilt over being the guy who put her vag trough into this state of eternal hemorrhaging. What the fuck? Let’s be honest, especially with you men out there… women spend a week out of every month gushing blood out of those cervical slip and slides. Do you really expect me to feel guilty for having the same effect on her that a change of birth control would have? So in case I needed to clarify for all the neo-nazi feminist rug munchers out there who think I should be crying tears over Tessa Martin’s clit-splitting spiral into unconsciousness, no, I feel little to no remorse for what happened on Monday night. In fact, the only thing I feel a little sorry for at this point is that I couldn’t have brought her a comically large tampon after the match with a big red fucking bow on it.
So what’s got my proverbial panties in a bunch, you ask?
It’s quite simple.
I signed a contract on Monday night to compete at WWR’s Completely Deranged this Sunday. I did so knowingly and willingly, and I did so under the pretenses that I would be facing ‘The Extremely Lame Promo Delivery Girl” Tessa Martin. I was fine with that. If she wanted to sign her own death certificate by stepping into the ring with the greatest Women’s Champion in the history of DREAM, that was her decision and to be honest I almost respected it. But today, I take a look at the DREAM website and I see that I’ll be headlining the show (no surprise there) against none other than that Conan The Destroyer With A Cast Iron Tampon manager Dawn McGill she’s been parading around with the last few weeks. What the fuck? I’m sorry, but I’m fairly certain that when one signs a contract, that contract is legally binding. It isn’t my problem that Tessa Martin is currently curled up somewhere in the fetal position, trying to pass the tip of my boot like an unholy kidney stone, the fact of the matter is that she is contractually obligated to appear in the ring with me on Sunday night. I agreed to wrestle her, but I don’t seem to remember signing up to climb Mount Estrogen and face Janet Reno’s personal goddamn trainer.
This is a great example of why the Dream Wrestling Federation continues to shove its own head further into it’s own corporate ass.
Don’t color me coward, folks. Don’t get me wrong… I would have zero problem tickling McGill-Ah Gorilla’s unholiest of holes with my size eleven’s if the situation were different. This isn’t a matter of fear, intimidation, or discrimination against people with both male and female genitalia. This is a strict matter of principle, and I am by no means obligated to step into the ring this Sunday with Dawn McGill. I mean, if I were to cave in and let this little match take place this week, then what next? They could decide to drop my salary. They could fire me altogether. By wrestling this match, I would be consenting quietly to having the rights of all DWF’s top stars walked on despite tedious hours of contractual negotiation. I’m not doing this for me, ladies and gentlemen…
I’m doing it for America.
I’m doing it for capitalism. I’m doing it for democracy. I’m doing it to defend the rights that soldiers overseas are fighting so hard to protect as I write this. And so I ask the corporation that holds my contract right now… I ask the fans who will undoubtedly agree with me… and most of all, I ask the Jolly Pink Giant Dawn McGill herself… where is your patriotism? Where is your love for the great country of America? I love the stars and stripes too much to step into the ring against my contractual obligation this week, and I suggest that you see things my way. The Dream Wrestling Federation and Dawn McGill have twenty four hours to force Tessa Martin to compete this Sunday night, or else coerce her into doing the right thing and declaring me the winner by forfeit. Her blood may be on my hands, but I will not allow it to stain the dignity of the law. The match will be changed back. If not?
Then I’ll see your asses in court.
Dawn McGill Promo
You can complain all you want to. But Mike, the die’s been cast. The wheels set in motion. And there’s no stopping it now. Mike, you created this situation…you created the spectacle…I will be the one who finishes it. You are the moth…and I am the flame that you can’t avoid. You have no idea what you’re up against. But come Sunday night, you will.
Bring your little friends with you. I’m sure Level One and Jak Nemesis will want a ringside seat for this. I’m bringing some friends along too.
‘The Hellcat’ Kirsta Lewis. You may have heard of her. If not, ask Scottywood who was crazy enough to shoot him in the knees with a nail gun during a match.
Then there’s Valora Salinas- Wrestling Midwest’s Hardcore champion. Ask Adam Pyre about how she destroyed him at Hardcore Hell. Ask him how she Border Tossed him off the top of a cage and then moonsaulted on top of him.
Mike, Tessa Martin may be extreme…but these ladies are hardcore…and so am I. There will be no backing down, no quarter, or no surrender Sunday night.
Mike, I know why you’re trying to get out of this. I saw the fear in your eyes last night. I sense the internal battle that’s going on inside of you as we speak. But it’s too late.
You started this. And I’m going to finish it.
Suave: “It was three and half weeks ago that Miss USA and Kathryn Randall Collins met for the first time. Miss USA was two weeks into her PCW career and KRC had just won the title back from ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin the month before.
Replay: Miss USA vs. KRC © for the PCW Women’s Title- PCW Night of Champions 7/29
…Collins pokes Miss USA in the eye with her thumb. She rakes his fingers across Miss USA’s back. Suave: “KRC looking for a slam…Miss USA blocks it.” She bulldog’s KRC across the ring! KRC gets right back up and bulldogs Miss USA. She pulls Miss USA’s hair and tackles her. Suave: “KRC landing lefts and rights on Miss USA. KRC up to the second rope…drops the elbow. Miss USA clutches her neck after that move.” KRC pulls her up…lands a headscissors takeover on Miss USA and applies an arm wrench. Suave: “Both women back up…KRC lariats Miss USA right back down. I have never seen KRC this sharp…this focused before. She’s taken her game to a different level tonight.”…
Suave: “McGill has PeaceNick up…she’s coming this way…that can’t be good. Think I’ll move….” McGill Awesome Bombs PeaceNick through the announcer’s table. Crowd: “PCW…PCW…PCW!”
KRC lifts Miss USA up. Airplane spin and then KRC dumps Miss USA onto the mat. Suave: “The referee is back in the ring. Cover. One…two…MISS USA KICKS OUT!” KRC drops the knee on Miss USA. She measures Miss USA…and drops a closed fist. KRC sets her up for her finisher. Suave: “POLITICS OF PERSONAL DESTRUCTION! SHE’S GOT IT LOCKED IN!” KRC tightens the hold…Miss USA trys to escape but KRC has her smack dab in the middle of the ring. McGill and Pelosi are having a major argument. Miss USA taps out. Suave: “KRC DOES IT! SHE RETAINS!”
MVW-PCW WOMEN’S TITLE UNIFICATION MATCH
Missouri Valley Wrestling Champion Miss USA
PCW Women’s Champion Kathryn Randall Collins
Charlene Ann: “Our next match is a unification match for the Missouri Valley Wrestling Title. Weighing in at 155 pounds from Chappaqua, New York and accompanied by Christa Carmondy and the Mean Girl Clique, she is the PCW Women’s Champion, Kathryn Randall Collins!”
The crowd stands and cheers.
*Music to Toby Keith’s “Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue” begins*
My daddy served in the army
Where he lost his right eye
But he flew a flag out in our yard
Until the day that he died
He wanted my mother, my brother, my sister and me
To grow up and live happy
In the land of the free.
The crowd explodes when Miss USA appears with her bodyguard/escort Dawn McGill.
Hey Uncle Sam
Put your name at the top of his list
And the statue of liberty
Started shakin her fist
And the eagle will fly
Man, its gonna be hell
When you hear mother freedom
Start ringin her bell
And it feels like the whole wide world is raining down on you
Brought to you courtesy of the red white and blue
Charlene Ann: “Her opponent weighs in at 117 pounds from Haines City, FL, she is the Missouri Valley Wrestling Champion, accompanied by her bodyguard Dawn McGill, Miss U-S-A!!!”
Suave: “THE CROWD IS ON THEIR FEET FOR THIS ONE. MISS USA VERSUS KRC, ROUND 2. ONE DIFFERENCE THIS TIME AROUND IS THAT KRC HAS CHRISTA CARMONDY AND THE MEAN GIRL CLIQUE IN HER CORNER TO COUNTER DAWN McGILL IN MISS USA’S. WE’RE ABOUT READY TO START.”
The bell rings.
KRC comes out with a kendo stick in hand, but Miss USA gets her hands on it immediately. They wrestle for the kendo stick and both fall to the canvas. KRC up first and hammers Miss USA with hard right hands. KRC’s Irish whip is reversed and Miss USA tries a tilt-a-whirl. KRC reverses it into a flying headscissors and faceplants Miss USA. Miss USA gets pounded down again. KRC goes up top for a high risk move. McGill knocks her off. Christa Carmondy begins to yell at the referee. KRC comes back in and stomps Miss USA down in the corner. Miss USA fires back with punches and fights her way out. Suave: “Miss USA seems more comfortable and relaxed in the ring tonight then she did on July 29th.”
KRC gets Irish whipped clear over the top rope. Christa Carmondy and the Mean Girl Clique hit the ring and we get a fistfight in the ring. McGill jumps in and double clotheslines Ashley and Vanessa. Christa manages to clotheslines Miss USA out to the floor. From there, KRC sends Miss USA over the barricade and KRC almost goes with her. Battling it out in the crowd. Miss USA and KRC trade punches. Miss USA gets a slight advantage and regroups. She goes back over the barricade. KRC starts to follow, but Miss USA stops her. KRC hits a couple rights and sets Miss USA up for a vertical Suplex on the floor. She hits it and Miss USA clears two rows of chairs on the floor. KRC puts the boots to the MVW Champion before the action begins to wander back towards the ring. Suave: “UNBELIEVEABLE ACTION TO START! KRC AND MISS USA NOW MAKING THEIR WAY BACK TO THE RING.”
KRC sunset flips Miss USA. Suave: “SUNSET FLIP. ONE…TWO…MISS USA KICKS OUT!” Miss USA goes for a backslide on KRC. The referee slides back down…two count. KRC sunset flips Miss USA again. Another two count. KRC clotheslines Miss USA. KRC tries to clotheslines McGill. Miss USA gets to her feet first and elbows KRC down. Suave: “KRC back up…and walks right into a tornado DDT. Miss USA covers. One…two…kickout by KRC. KRC pulls herself up…Reverse DDT by KRC! She covers…one…two…NO! 2.9999999 on that one!” KRC flips Miss USA and sets for a tombstone. Miss USA blocks it. She grabs a chair, but KRC dropkicks it in her face. KRC covers…another two count. KRC sets her up for the piledriver. Suave: “SHE GOT IT! KRC JUST PILEDRIVED MISS USA ON TOP OF THE CHAIR…COVER…ONE…TWO…McGILL IN THE RING AGAIN!” Dawn nearly takes KRC’s head off and then continues on to blast Christa Carmondy off the ring apron. KRC tries to capitalize on the confusion but winds up punching out the referee by accident.
KRC and Miss USA trade punches and an Irish whip sends KRC over the top rope. Miss USA knocks her to the floor and heads outside, only to walk right into a crescent kick. Miss USA produces a ladder, but gets Irish whipped into it. Miss USA drop toeholds KRC into the seat of a chair, then grabs the ladder and leans it the side of the ring. KRC low-blows Miss USA before she can do anything, then suplexes her on the ladder for two. Ashley and Vanessa double team Miss USA and send her head first into the ladder. Suave: “She’s hurt. The Mean Girl Clique got a freebie and they took advantage of it.” McGill races around the ring and engages with Ashley and Vanessa. KRC pulls Miss USA by the hair back to the ring. She side headlocks Miss USA and sets her for a DDT. Miss USA somehow manages to escape and sends KRC crashing into the corner. She follows and chops the hell out of KRC. Miss USA sets up a chair in the ring and hits spinning toehold, sending KRC’s forehead to the edge of the chair. Suave: “KRC’s BUSTED OPEN! MISS USA IS SHOWING A LOT OF MOXIE TONIGHT!”
Miss USA follows with a back suplex. She then hits neckbreaker after neckbreaker after neckbreaker after neckbreaker on KRC. Suave: “SHE COVERS. ONE…TWO…TH-NO! KRC BARELY GOT THE SHOULDER UP!” Miss USA grabs the ladder and launches it like a javelin at KRC. She drops the ladder on KRC. Suave: “ANOTHER COVER…ONE…TWO…NO-…KRC KICKS OUT! MISS USA PULLS KRC UP! DDT ON THE LADDER!” Miss USA drags the ladder to the corner and places KRC lying up against it. She goes to the opposite corner on the same side and climbs to the top turnbuckle. Suave: “Oh…no…she’s not…” She jumps. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! PATRIOT MISSILE FROM THE TOP ROPE ONTO THE LADDER!” KRC’s out and slides to the floor. Miss USA covers…Christa Carmondy storms into the ring…McGill climbs top rope and launches a flying clothesline that sends her reeling backwards.
One…two…three. Suave: “THAT’S IT! HOLY CRAP…MISS USA WINS! MISS USA IS NOW THE UNDISPUTED MISSOURI VALLEY WRESTLING CHAMPION!” The crowd stands and gives both women a standing ovation. Suave: “WHAT A MATCH! WOW!”
A. Kuluha Bacardi and several officials are right outside Mike Polowy’s locker room arguing with MPlow. Polowy: “I want to know whether or not Tessa Martin is here. If she’s not, I’m not wrestling!” AKB: “Dude, you signed a contract. We’ve advertised you versus McGill.” Polowy: “That’s not my-” Dawn McGill and Miss USA walk by after their match. McGill stops McGill: “Is Michell-er…Michael still complaining about having to wrestle little ol’ me?” Polowy: “That’s Michael. Once again, I’ve been disrespected by DWF and the promoters of this show. I was never consulted with concerning Tessa Martin’s replacement due to her alleged injury and if this continues they’re going to have problems.” Dawn pushes him away. Suddenly, Polowy gets face to upper chest with her. Dawn: “Alleged injury?” Polowy: “Listen Bacardi, either you take care of this or there’ll be big problems.” Dawn pushes him a second time. Polowy: “You can’t be seriously trying to intimidate me. Shaquille O’Neal would have a better chance making two free throws than intimidating me.” Dawn: “Then prove it…Michael.” She walks away.
Lora KirK Segment
With the ring cleared, Matthew Harwood’s “Closer to Home” hits over the sound system. Lora Kirk, a member of the DREAM roster, advances down to the ring, pausing briefly to wave or blow kisses to the fans. No one seems to recognize the husky-looking, blonde-haired girl in the white T-shirt and black sweat pants. Some cheer her entrance, others just instinctively boo at the unexpected interruption.
Lora slides through the ropes to the ring and raises a microphone to her lips.
“Hi! I’m Lora Kirk and I have some items to declare.”
“First of all, that…”
Lora surveys the audience, an outstretched index finger following the path of her gaze.
“…That was some real women’s wrestling!”
The audience agrees with this sentiment. A big cheer goes up from the fans, showing their admiration for Kathryn Randall Collins and Miss USA’s performance.
“When you see this next match, keep in mind what you just saw unfold in this ring between Miss USA and Kathryn. Remember what real wrestling looks like… because, unfortunately, you’re about to be exposed to the very definition of poor women’s wrestling.”
Another mixed reaction from the fans.
“Now, this is no slight against Dawn McGill. I’m sure she’s just fine as a fighter.”
Some of the outraged segments of the crowd stifle their response at this clarification.
“No, the reason this match is going to stand in stark contrast to the match you just saw, the reason it’s going to suck, rests solely with Mike Polowy. He’s an idiot, a tool, a second-rate wrestler. He somehow managed to take the Women’s Championship for himself in DREAM.”
She makes a motion as if washing her hands clean of some stain before adding an aside.
“That was before my time.”
“And ever since he has brought shame to DREAM. While other federations enjoy a competitive and high quality environment in their women’s divisions, DREAM’s female roster has, well, lacked a certain oomph. But that’s fine. I’ve arrived and I’m adding oomph to DREAM’s female scene. I’m going to provide a positive example to the rest of my locker room with the Women’s Championship around my waist. The other girls on the roster will rise to my challenge.”
She raises a finger and grins.
“But that will all happen in good time. For tonight, you get to watch Mike Polowy being humbled by Dawn McGill. And then, hopefully, you’ll follow me over to DREAM in a little while, maybe a week or two, to see me spank Mikey silly.”
The fans might not love Lora Kirk but they’ve already developed an intense dislike for Mike Polowy, in part because of these words they’ve just heard. A big cheer goes up as Lora slides out from the ring and Matthew Harwood’s “Closer to Home” signals her departure.
VIDEO PACKAGE: POLOWY VS. McGILL
REPLAY: DWF Sunday Night Slaughter- July 12th
Mike Polowy vs. Kelly Evans
[[He charges forward, running full speed and guns a-blazing as he stops just short of Kelly Evans, swinging his leg back in a horrific arc and making a connection to her lady parts at full strength. The crowd winces, as does Level One, as a victorious Michael Polowy delivers just about the hardest kick a woman has ever received in the vagina. Evens immediately slumps forward, falling out of the ropes, as Polowy stands laughing in delight. Immediately, EMTs rush the ring to help the poor, shattered woman crying on the mat, but MPlow pays no mind.))
Tessa Martin Commentary
Tessa: “Why was this necessary? This had nothing to do with wrestling. I don’t consider degrading a woman wrestler to be sport or entertainment. Let’s call it like it is, Kelly Evans had NO business being in the same ring with Mike Polowy. Kelly Evans is no Kirsta Lewis. Kelly Evans is no Michelle Masters. Kelly Evans is no Dawn McGill, one of my former compadres at PCW. Lewis, Masters, and McGill can handle themselves in the ring with a man. Evans clearly can’t. What are the people booking DWF thinking? This was ugly, gratiutious, and as a former woman wrestler, I’m simply sickened by what happened last night. I’m appalled that it was allowed to happen.”]]
REPLAY: DWF Monday Night Slaughter- August 10th
“I give up, I give up!” MPlow mockingly whines, his voice filled with a false fear. “Come on Tessa, we’re all friends here… no reason to hurt the man who is responsible for your coming out of retirement.”
He takes a step backwards, gesturing towards Tessa as they exchange a banter that can’t be heard over the microphone.
“Besides,” He continues, with a wink. “I’m the welcome wagon around here when it comes to my division, Tessa. It’s great to see you here, in fact. Nice to see those legs not stuck behind a sports desk… nice to see you giving those tits a chance to get some air for once. I’m here to welcome you. You might not be my biggest fan, according to the last few episodes of EWTorchcenter I took a gander at, but I *am* the Women’s Champion around here, so you could at least show me a little respect.”
Before he can continue, Tessa rips the microphone from his hands, giving him a solid shove backwards that sends the crowd into a frenzy! Polowy looks shocked himself, being on the recieving end of some of the first female offense since his Women’s Title “victory”.
“Respect?” Ms. Martin begins, the crowd firmly behind her. “You wanna talk to me about respect, Mike? For the last several weeks, I’ve seen nothing but disrespect from you. You disrespect your opponents, you disrespect the women of the Dream Wrestling Federation, you disrespect it’s fans and you disrespect yourself. So please don’t talk to me about respect. And that title you’re wearing, so proudly? I wouldn’t go staying too attached to it, Mike.”
He scoffs, as the crowd in the background continues to cheer on The Pizza Delivery Girl. Not wanting to continue swapping microphones, he walks to the side of the ring and gets one from the timekeeper, snatching it quickly and tapping a few times to assure that it’s turned on.
“You think you know me, Tessa?” He begins, his voice suddenly growing much more hostile. It isn’t the cool, casual MPlow that the DREAM fans have grown accustomed to, but instead another glimpse into the Michael Polowy who ruthlessly assaulted Lady America just a few weeks ago. “You think you understand a god damned thing about me? You think you can just walk into DREAM after sitting behind a desk for the last few months and change me? YOU THINK YOU FU[BLEEP]ING KNOW ME ANYMORE, LISA?!”
He thrusts forward, arms first, shoving Tessa into the turnbuckle, but before he can continue the assault, he stops dead in his tracks. The look on his face much matches the one on Tessa’s, who does not look scared, but simply confused. The fans in attendance fall nearly silent, as the look on Polowy’s face quickly turns from shock to horror as he realizes what he just said.
REPLAY: Tuesday Night Insomnia- August 11th
Polowy: Last night, as I know everyone is aware, I had a confrontation with Tessa Martin at Slaughter which almost turned physical. She had been quite critical of the way I do things around here, and I took a situation that existed in my personal life and I let it get the best of me in the ring. So I’d like to apologize for almost snapping last night, and becoming physical with Ms. Martin.”
For the first time since his induction into the Dream Wrestling Federation, the arena begins a low cheer for the Women’s Champion. His face doesn’t seem to change much at first, but over a few seconds a warm smile comes over his face, as his eyes begin to well up with tears.
“You see,” he continues, the volume of his voice beginning to rise. “I apologize, because I held back. I wholeheartedly apologize to Tessa Martin for NOT destroying her personal personal pan pizza box with the stiffest hot and ready goddamn soccer kick! she’s ever felt in her life!”
The warm smile on his face quickly re-freezes, his icy demeanor showing its true colors with a sadistic sneer. The crowd boos even harder than they had before, duped by such a pathetic trick on the part of wrestling’s most notorious dilettante.
“As the DWF Women’s Champion,” he continues, ignoring the sudden turncoat from the fans. “I have a job to do. I have a responsibility… a duty to defend my championship and my honor from week to week, even if it means handing out laced up hysterectomies on every continent I step foot on. And last night, I denied my responsibility. I stood in the ring with two of the most disrespectful, ungrateful women ever to lace up a pair of boots and call themselves wrestlers, and I had a chance to deliver a little bit of judgment. But instead, I let a few memories from my childhood get in the way, and I didn’t do the job that needed to be done. But I assure you, Tessa and Dawn… and I assure you, fans of the DWF worldwide, that it will NEVER. Happen. Again. From this point forward, where I walk, there will be slaughter. Where I fight, there will be fear. And from this moment on, where there is Michael Polowy, there will be a kind of justice the women of this world will never forget. Husbands, lock up your wives… MPlow is back.”
REPLAY: Tuesday Night Insomnia August 11th
Dawn McGill and Tessa Martin, still basking over their win the night before, walk down to the ring and sit two of three open front row seats to watch the main event between Mike Polowy and Cody Brews.
A few seconds later, a third woman wearing a strapless red and blue dress and the Missouri Valley Wrestling title belt secured around her waist joins them. It takes a little while for the audience to put two and two together and figure out who she was.
Amy Martin aka former DWF Women’s Champion Miss USA looked markedly different than the last time the DWF audience saw her. Back then, her hair was colored with blue highlights and she wore a mask. Tonight, sans mask, her long, flowing hair was back to her natural blond.
She high fives McGill and Martin and takes her seat next to them.
REPLAY: DWF Monday Night Slaughter August 17th
The “Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl” Tessa Martin, Dawn McGill, and special guest ‘The Hellcat’ Kirsta Lewis stand in the ring.
tessa smiles and paces the ring. “I’m sure you all have heard the story about the little boy who cried wolf. Well, tonight you’re going to hear about the little man who cried respect. My father once told me that you don’t demand people’s respect; you earn it. To listen to Mike throw his little hissy fit last week and talk about how Dawn and I supposedly disrespected him and such, well, it’s a little pathetic.
“Mike, I do respect your wrestling ability. But that’s about it. Otherwise, you’ve done absolutely nothing to earn any ounce of respect from me. To quote a line from the movie ‘A Knight’s Tale’- you have been weighed, you have been measured, and you have been found wanting. And now that the source of your bitterness, your anger is out there for the whole wide world to see, the reason that you justify holding a title that quite frankly is diminished every second that you hold on it, the reason you claim gives your the right to dole out your so-called ‘justice,’ is all because some girl dumped you when you were 19 years old?
“Mike, may I make a suggestion? Try calling Dr. Phil. Oh…and apologizing for not kicking my…how you say…personal personal pan pizza box? Right. Apology NOT accepted.”
Dawn asks for the microphone. “I’d like to add that the day that Tessa accepts your so-called apology for not kicking her in her personal pizza box is the day I apologize for kicking your testicles with my 4″ heels so hard that it looks like you’ve got two small little antennae sticking out your mouth afterwards…and I do mean small…little…antennae.”
The crowd goes “WHOOOOOOOOAAAAA.”
Dawn raises her eyebrows and grins. “And speaking of small, Mike. I was talking to some of the girls in the back and for all your bluster and big talk, apparently you just don’t measure up.” She bites her bottom lip mischievously and fights the urge to bust out laughing.
Lewis takes the microphone. “Well, then I guess the moral of the story here is…never send a…boy…to do a man’s job.”…
…Lady America bends down and grabs tessa Martin, yanking her to her feet.
“America locks up with Martin.”
The crowd roars and fills with boo’s.
“What’s this? Mike Polowy, Womens Champion, si coming from the crowd! He slides into the ring, past Dawn McGill!”
Polowy yanks Martin from Lady America’s grip and turns her around.
“Quick boot to Tessa Martin’s ‘baby maker’!”
McGill slides in and rushes Polowy, who quickly exits the ring. Dawn chases after him up the ramp and towards the back…
…A few moments after Lora celebrates, her music fades and she exits the ring. Dawn McGill and Kirsta Lewis help Tessa back into the ring. The Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl winces with every step but she shoos the helping hands of McGill and Lewis and walks to the middle unaided.
“Mikey…is that the best you’ve got?”
Tessa bends over and puts her hands on her knees. Immediately, both McGill and Lewis reach out to help.
Tessa says, talking slower than usual.
“Is that it, Mike? Really, I’ve been kicked harder by my younger brother. I’m still here, Mike. I’m still standing! I’m not going anywhere! It’s time…”
She pauses and closes her eyes tight. Tessa shakes her head and continues.
“It’s time for you to see just what they mean when they call me the EXTREME Pizza Delivery Girl.”
She pauses for a breath.
“Sunday night…the WWR is holding this little shindig they’re calling WWR Completely Deranged. Let’s give the people what they want, Mikey…you versus me in an extreme hardcore deathmatch…”
Tessa pauses and bends over in pain.
“…let’s do it, Mikey…everyone wants to see it…everyone wants to see me…kick……your….ass……”
The microphone drops and Tessa collapses. She’s unconscious before she hits the canvas.
REPLAY: DWF Tuesday Night Insomnia August 18th
Lady America places a duffel bag in her locker and then shuts the door. Placing her hands on the lockers, she begins to stretch out her legs.
The locker room door slams open and startles Lady America. Her left hand slips off the locker and she nearly falls. She turns around and see an angry Dawn McGill bearing down on her. McGill pushes Lady America hard into the locker and presses a Singapore cane against her throat.
“You were in on this with Polowy, weren’t you?”
Lady America winces. “In on what?”
McGill pushes harder. “You know, what. You held her long enough for him to get in the ring to kick Tessa Martin.”
“I swear, I didn’t know anything-”
Again, McGill increases the pressure on her. “Don’t lie to me.”
“I swear to God…I wasn’t involved…Amy?”
Amy Martin…aka…Miss USA…enters.
“Amy, I swear, ” Lady America pleads. “I-I had nothing to do with what happened to Tessa.”
Amy walks over to Dawn and puts a hand on her shoulder. “I believe her.”
Dawn continues to press the Singapore cane menacingly on Lady America’s throat. “You do?”
Finally, Dawn relents and pulls back. Lady America slides down the lockers and sits on the floor.
“Hey! What’s going on here?” Shaun XF appears at the entrance. He sees Amy Martin and his eyes widen. “And what the hell are YOU doing here.”
“She just saved your girlfriend’s life,” Dawn retorted.
Shaun XF sneered, “Ha. Both of you…get out before I remove you myself.”
Dawn let out a snicker and begins to walk towards the door. Amy turns and follows right behind. As she passes Shaun XF, he shoves her into a locker. Without batting an eye, Dawn whips around and backfists Shaun sending him reeling across the room into the wall. He lands with his back to the wall and his legs spread open. Dawn whirls around and cocks her 4″ stiletto shoed foot back…
“No.” Again Amy puts her arm on Dawn’s shoulder. “He’s not worth it. And it won’t get Tessa out of the hospital any sooner.”
Dawn smiles at Shaun XF. She walks away.
“Oh…and Shaun,” Amy says. “You-a…might want to change your pants before the match tonight.”
Once again, Dawn McGill and a visiting Amy Martin aka Miss USA come out and take two of three open seats in the front row. Unlike last week, the mood is much less jovial as both women are mindful of the fact that Tessa Martin is still in the hospital.
McGill places a sign on the third seat.
The camera pans closer. The sign says ‘LISA’ on it.
MPlow rolls up off the mat, looking exhausted both physically and mentally. With hatred in his eyes, he stares out into the crowd, his gaze focused directly at Dawn McGill and her entourage. Miss USA and McGill chuckle smugly, gesturing toward the still empty chair labelled “Lisa” sitting next to them, but the smug grins slowly fade away as Polowy begins to stalk towards them, bailing out of the ring with a fury never seen in the Women’s Champion before.
He tears over the ropes and down to the floor, slamming his body into the guardrail with a sickening thud as he barrels over top of it, hopping the steel and making his way into the crowd. Not wanting to fight it out this early, Miss USA quickly ushers McGill away from the rampaging psychopath in their midst. Strangely, however, MPlow doesn’t make chase. Instead, he beelines for the chair set up, knocking away the placeholder bearing the name of the woman responsible for his recent inner angst. He snatches the chair off the floor, not even looking behind him as he swings away, knocking several other chairs over as he releases it towards the ring. The steel chair smashed into the ring post with a loud clang, sending cameramen and ring techs scampering away.
Polowy doesn’t appear to be done, as fans struggle to get out of the way of his rampage. He begins trashing the ringside, throwing chairs and having an all out tantrum, his face contorted with emotions never seen in front of a wrestling crowd before. He stumbles back towards the ring, tears welling up in his eyes as he falls forward, collapsing over the guardrail as he flips over it, falling nearly on his head as he slumps almost into a ball on the other side.
At the top of the ramp, Dawn McGill watches on, almost blank faced.
Polowy crawls himself toward the apron, pulling himself up as he drops his face onto the canvas. He turns slightly, looking up towards the scariest woman in the DWF. His face is a mess of half tears and broken blood vessels. At the top of the ramp, she simply looks back at him and smiles. She points towards him, and even without a microphone, her lips are easy to read.
“See you Sunday night, Mike.”
MPlow drops his head to the mat once again, as Jak Nemesis and the referee lean down to check on him. The show awkwardly moves to an unplanned commercial break as staff attempt to clean up the mess at ringside.
REPLAY: PCW on P-SPAN Wednesday Special August 19th
Just as McGill gets comfy in the outside, someone runs down the aisle. Suave: “WAIT! WHO THE HELL IS…THAT’S DREAM WRESTLING FEDERATION’S MIKE POLOWY! WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING HERE?” The crowd starts to boo and McGill doesn’t see him coming until it’s too late. Polowy pushes McGill off the ring apron and she falls through a ringside table. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! POLOWY JUST PUT DAWN McGILL THROUGH A TABLE!”
Immediately, all action stops in the ring and Polowy realizes that Miss USA, Angel Scott, Angel Casey, Weathergirl Hallie, Kathryn Randall Collins, Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen, and the ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas are all staring daggers right through him. Polowy wisely turns and sprints right back up the aisle with Scott, Casey, Hallie, KRC, Jones, and Dallas in hot pursuit.
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