PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka arrives ringside with his valet Reika Kisuargi.
Olbermann – GO TANAKA!
Suave – The PCW Champion is ringside as our number one contender’s match is about ready.
Limbaugh – Again, Johnny. It’s unfair that one of these two men will be forced to wrestle two matches in a row. This should have been a three way dance.
Suave – But unfortunately, that’s not the case. Okay. We’re ready to go with the first of our two main events. Back to the ring and Kimber Marshall.
Marshall is ready to go.
Marshall – Ladies and gentlemen. Our next match is a one fall, sixty-minute time limit for a shot at the PCW Title. Introducing first, from Defiance, Ohio, a former PCW Champion representing the American Heartland Coalition- AVERAGE JOE!
Average Joe comes to the ring with valet Tequila Sheila.
Marshall – And his opponent…also a former PCW Champion and Tag Team Champion, from Ottumwa, Iowa, representing the Republicans- ‘American Citizen,’ KEVIN SCOTT!
Scott walks to the ring and exchanges pleasantries with Tanaka along the way.
Suave – Kevin Scott and Yamamoto Tanaka having a brief conversation.
Scott climbs in.
…Average Joe chokes Scott in the ropes.
Suave – Average Joe in control. He runs the ropes…running crossbody by Average Joe. Cover…only two.
Average Joe kneels on Scott’s back with both knees, hooks the head with one arm and the legs with the other. He then rolls back so that his opponent is suspended on his knees above him, facing up and pulls down with both arms while pushing up with the knees to bend the back.
Suave – Bow & arrow submission. Scott tries to fight out…
Scott powers back to his feet and fights out.
Suave – He’s out. Scott ducks a back elbow. Both run the ropes…SIMULTANEOUS CROSSBODIES!……Scott gets up first…he goes on the offense with a clothesline…and another.
Average Joe tries to give Scott an Average Slam. Scott moves away and ducks a jumping kick. He spins around and knocks Average Joe off his feet. Scott grabs and ankle and turns him over…
Suave – ANKLE LOCK! ANKLE LOCK! AVERAGE JOE TAPS OUT! IT’LL BE KEVIN SCOTT AGAINST YAMAMOTO TANAKA…AND HERE COMES TANAKA!
WINNER: Kevin Scott @ 11:44
MATCH #10 FOR THE PCW TITLE
Tanaka does not wait to be introduced and immediately pounds away at Kevin Scott.
Average Joe gets up and asks for a chair.
Suave – What is he up to?
Olbermann – Perhaps the Independent got smart and realizes that he has to choose sides.
Average Joe takes the chair from Tequila Sheila. He turns and belts Tanaka across the back with it.
Suave – HOLY CRAP!
Olbermann – WRONG SIDE!
Limbaugh – RIGHT SIDE!
Suave – TANAKA STAGGERED BY THAT CHAIRSHOT.
Scott falls to the ground and places a foot in front of Tanaka’s ankle and the other in the back of the shin. Tanaka falls face first into the turnbuckle. Scott grabs the ankle.
Suave – ANKLE LOCK! ANKLE LOCK!
Scott cinches it in and pulls Tanaka towards the middle.
Suave – WE COULD HAVE A NEW CHAMPION!
Reika Kisuargi in the ring. She gets the chair…
Suave – REIKA WITH THE CHAIR!
and waffles Average Joe with it. Then she turns to Scott and piefaces him with the chair.
Suave – HOLY CRAP!
…forearm shots by Tanaka and Scott is driven back into the corner. Back elbow follows.
Suave – TANAKA FOR THE WIN! NO…ONLY TWO.
Front facelock by Tanaka. Scott knees Tanaka in the groin and runs off the ropes…
Suave – TANAKA JUST DECAPITATED SCOTT WITH A CLOTHESLINE!
Tanaka whips Scott back into the ropes and plants him with a second clothesline.
Suave – COVERRRRR…NO! TWO COUNT SAYS REFEREE DAVEY KEELS!
Tanaka again sends Scott into the ropes. Scott ducks a clothesline and hit’s the handspring back elbow.
Suave – SCOTT GOING UP TOP…NO! TANAKA AVOIDED THE MISSILE DROPKICK…AND NOW HE’S DRAGGING SCOTT TO THE TOP ROPE!
Tanaka sets Scott up for the Japanese SuperDestroyer.
Suave – FIVE…FOUR…THREE…TWO…ONE…HOLY CRAP!
Tanaka squashes Scott on the mat. He hooks the legs. Keels counts to three.
Suave – IT’S OVER!
WINNER AND STILL PCW CHAMPION: Yamamoto Tanaka @ 10:23
Olbermann – Great match!
Suave – THAT’S GOING TO DO IT. YAMAMOTO TANAKA HOLDS OFF A STRONG EFFORT BY FORMER PCW CHAMPION KEVIN SCOTT TO RETAIN THE PCW TITLE HERE AT LOOSE CANNONS LOCK AND LOAD 5. I’M JOHNNY SUAVE AND FOR KEITH OLBERMANN AND RUSH LIMBAUGH…GOODNIGHT. WE’LL SEE YOU TOMORROW NIGHT IN PHOENIX, ARIZONA.
Filed under: 2010 Election, Average Joe, Blogs- Pro Wrestling, Independents, joe six pack, Joe the Plumber, Paul Heyman, political satire, political wrestling, Politics, Pro Wrestling, red state, republicans, Small Town America, Third Party, wordpress political blogs Tagged: | Keith Olbermann, Rush Limbaugh