PCW Extreme Political TV on P-SPAN (2 hours)
Utica Memorial Auditorium
Monday August 9th
Host: Paige McGillicutty
Paige McGillicutty – Paige McGillicutty here with tonight’s PCW Extreme Political TV report. Tonight was PCW’s first two hour show on P-SPAN and started with an unusual debut to say the very least. Let’s go ‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave ringside.
[......Kimber Marshall inside the ring.
Kimber Marshall - ...Pat Starr!
*’I Wrote This Song’ by Patrick Star plays*
Twinkle, Twinkle patrick star
I made myself a sandwich
My mommy named it fred
It tastes like beans & bacon
And it smells like it’s been dead!
Writing is hard
So I use a pointy pencil
pointy pointy pointy pointy pointy point
What’s that horrible smell?
I have a head
It ends in a point
pointy pointy pointy pointy pointy point
This song is over
Except 4 this line:
You win this round
Johnny Suave – Okay. What the hell was that?
Pat Starr climbs into the ring and jumps up and down.
The video screen goes to just outside a dressing room in the back. A police escort is waiting at the door. One of the policemen knocks on the door.
Policeman – Ms. Berg. It’s time.
The door opens and four large male bodybuilding types walk out of the dressing room surrounding a petite woman and her male assistant, Jerry. The woman is busy talking on her cell phone while the man furiously scribbles down notes as the group makes their way towards the ring.
The procession emerges from the back and starts their way down the ramp. The male assistant has a microphone and a portable tape recorder. He flips it on.
The group then continues towards the ring leaving the police escort behind.
The four bodyguards assist Ms. Berg into the ring. She and her assistant immediately go to a corner.
Berg continues to talk on her cell phone.
Pat Starr (I)
…Berg’s bodyguard spears Starr. Another one gives Starr a jackhammer slam. The other two bodyguards hold Starr up. Berg hands Jerry her phone and walks over…BUZZSAW KICK! Starr down and out. Berg covers…1…2…3.
WINNER AND NOW 16-0: Jill-Berg in :36
Paige McGillicutty – Next, we found out who John McCain (R) and J.D. Hayworth (R) were going to choose to represent them at August 24th’s Arizona Showdown in the Desert.
John McCain (R)
J.D. Hayworth (R)
[......Hayworth names rookie Doug "King Kong' Kingman as his champion...
Doug 'King Kong' Kingman (R)
McCain names Magnum P.O.'d. Magnum comes out with his valet, Robyn Masters...
Magnum, P.O.’d (R)
Valet: Robyn Masters
Hayworth and McCain then begin to jaw back and forth. Kingman cheap shots Magnum. Robyn Masters comes in and low blows Kingman.
Suddenly, the Tea Party (Nic Koteen, NRA, Al Cahall) led by the 'Princess of Political Incorrectness' Andrea Doria run in and attack McCain, Magnum, and Masters......]
Paige McGillicutty – So, the Showdown in the Desert promises to be an extreme affair with the Tea Party throwing their support behind Hayworth. Next…
[......Jill-Berg stands in the back.
Jill-Berg - HI, I'M JILL-BERG FROM POLITICAL CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING. WHAT DO SEX, TATTOOS, BODY PIERCINGS, TOOTHBRUSHES, AND CONTACT SPORTS HAVE IN COMMON? THEY CAN ALL PUT COLLEGE STUDENTS AT RISK FOR HEPATITIS B, A SERIOUS DISEASE THAT CAN LEAD TO CHRONIC, EVEN LIFE THREATENING LIVER DISEASE. MOST OF THE 78,000 PEOPLE INFECTED IN 2001 WERE YOUNG ADULTS, AND THERE IS NO CURE. A SAFE AND EFFECTIVE VACCINE CAN PREVENT HEPATITIS B. HEALTH OFFICIALS RECOMMEND THAT ALL STUDENTS GET VACCINATED. LEARN MORE ABOUT THIS TODAY. THIS HAS BEEN A PUBLIC SERVICE MESSAGE FROM ME, JILL-BERG. OTHER WRESTLERS WRESTLE FOR THEMSELVES. I'M WRESTLING FOR THE CHILDREN......]
Paige McGillicutty – This, of course, gave Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid plenty of heartburn…
[......Leader of the PCW Competition Committee Nancy Pelosi (D)...
Nancy Pelosi (D)
and Leader of the PCW Executive Committee Harry Reid (D)...
Harry Reid (D)
Pelosi and Reid discuss the 'Jill-Berg' problem. Reid wants to block her from ever getting a title shot. Pelosi agrees but wonders how? Reid comes up with a plan. Give Berg a match at PCW Lock and Load that she has to win or she'll never get a title shot. Pelosi thinks she has just the idea for a match.
Sharron Angle (R)
Sharron Angle (R) runs in and waffles Reid with a steel chair. Pelosi dives to the floor as Angle blasted away on Reid.
Democrats Rahm Emanuel and Reika Kisaurgi run in and pull Angle off......]
Paige McGillicutty – Last night, Charlie Blackwell wrestled former Pro Wrestling Fire Champion Jack Benevolence in the second round of the Expert’s Extreme Tournament. Here’s how it went…
(courtesy of The Experts)
[......The scene goes backstage as a group of guards arrive outside the cells of Jack Benevolence and Charlie Blackwell, and the two wrestlers stare one another down from inside their opposing cells. A main guard steps forward, looking from one side to the other.
Guard - Prisoners A-UR-8 and A-UR-10, stand back for unlocking.
Benevolence and Blackwell do as they are told as the other guards unlock their cells. The two wrestlers slowly exit their cells with a team of guards surrounding each of them as chaperones for the competitors. As they are being lead down the corridor Benevolence smirks.
Jack Benevolence - All set to crash out, rookie?
Blackwell grits his teeth as he's lead down the corridor alongside Benevolence, trying to ignore his arrogant opponent.
Jack Benevolence - I guess you're looking forward to your brush with fame against the man who put Level-One out, aren't you?
Again Blackwell grits his teeth as he continues to head towards the ring. Finally Benevolence smirks again, facing Blackwell.
Jack Benevolence - I guess I'm just gonna have to make you tap out, aren't I?
Charlie Blackwell - Just you God damn try it!
Now both are stopped dead as they stare one another down. They get closer, going nose to nose before Benevolence laughs, and slaps Blackwell across the face! Blackwell stumbles back, throwing a shot at Benevolence and he slams him up against the bars of the nearest cell. Benevolence throws shots back at him as the two brawl it out, the guards trying to tear them away from one another. Finally the fight calms down and the guards manage to separate them, both still staring one another down.
Guard - Get them out of here, they can settle it in their match.
Jack Benevolence - WHEN I WIN!
Charlie Blackwell - Yeah, right...
The crowd begin to chant “Let's go Blackwell” as the scene returns to ringside ahead of their match.
MATCH #2 - Round 2 of the Expert's Extreme Tournament
Charlie Blackwell (I)
Blackwell gets to the top rope and stalks the staggering Jack Benevolence for his signature missile dropkick. Benevolence spots Blackwell as he leaps, and manages to pull the referee in the way, causing Blackwell to dropkick the ref! The crowd boo Benevolence as he storms at Blackwell with a massive clothesline. He then looks at the downed match official and the downed Blackwell, and shouts at Russell White who pulls out a steel chair from ringside. He slides it through to Benevolence who grasps it, and as Blackwell gets to his feet Benevolence slams the chair over Blackwell's head! Blackwell hits the mat and Benevolence spots the referee beginning to stir. Benevolence then drags Blackwell up and throws him into the corner, wedging the chair between Blackwell and the turnbuckles, before he hits the mat himself. Kenzie Blair begins to shout and scream at the referee, however Russell White's able to get a hand over her mouth as the referee stands, spotting the supine Jack Benevolence and Blackwell in the corner with a weapon by his side... and he calls for the bell!
Winner, via DQ and advancing: Jack Benevolence @ 8:44
Paige McGillicutty – Linda McMahon (R) came out next. She was a little vexed over a certain wrestling company putting on a pay per view with certain wrestlers from a certain extreme wrestling company.
[......McMahon decries TNA's ECW-themed PPV as a blatant attempt to make money off of trademarks owned by her husband's company. She mocked the show and added that they couldn't even get Paul Heyman to attend. ECW was a brand, a brand now owned by her husband that couldn't cut it on the Sci-Fi network and was cancelled.
Average Joe (I) came out. He calls ECW more than just a 'brand.' Last night's show reclaimed the spirit of ECW that the WWE killed by watering it down for corporate consumption. McMahon tries to cut back in but Average Joe keeps going. He says he's glad Heyman didn't show up last night because it would have taken the focus off the real heroes of ECW- the workers themselves.
McMahon, now angry, signals to the back and out comes 'Sports Entertainment Genius' Mr. McMann with the Corporation of Domination (Big Oil, Big Electric, Kirk Walstreit) The C.O.D. attack Average Joe and then the American Heartland Coalition (Ken Worth- The American Trucker, SNAFU, and ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido) run down......]
Paige McGillicutty – Match three featured the PCW Tag Team champions, The Kings of Old School (D) against two young Republicans in Josh Jackson and Nick Ray.
MATCH #3- PCW Tag Team Title Match
Kings of Old School: Ricky Michaels and Marty Lane (D) (c)
Josh Jackson and Nick Ray (R)
...Michaels on Ray, Lane on Jackson inside the ring. Arm drags by Jackson. Jab and Jackson whips Lane into the ropes. Lane hits the flying tackle to end that. Michaels and Ray roll in. Ray charges into an elbow. Second rope clothesline by Michaels. Ray with a whip and he runs into a boot. Flying tackle from the top by Lane. Michaels creams Ray with a trash can lid shot. Skillet shot by Lane to Ray. Jackson is in and tattoos Michaels with a cookie sheet. Ray blindsides Michaels. But he misses a clothesline and eats the trashcan lid shot from Lane. Michaels hits the inverted DDT on Ray for 2. Michaels gets nailed with a neckbreaker by Jackson for 2.
Lane clobbers Jackson with a trashcan lid shot and calls for a table. Michaels obliges. Lane and Michaels lift Jackson and put him through the table. Michaels covers...1...2...3.
WINNER AND STILL PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: The Kings of Old School @ 9:03
The Kings of Old School take the mic. Michaels says they are the greatest tag team in the world.
'No Frills' Chris Escondido and Charlie Blackwell (I)
Escondido and Blackwell run in. Johnny Suave is shocked that Blackwell is back from Siberia already. Big staredown between both teams.
Paige McGillicutty – Jill Berg then checked in with another PSA.
[......Jill Berg stands in front of a wall.
Jill-Berg - Hi. I'm Jill Berg with a special public service announcement...DID YOU KNOW THAT ADOLESCENTS AND YOUNG ADULTS ARE AT INCREASED RISK FOR A POTENTIALLY DEADLY DISEASE CALLED MENINGOCOCCAL MENINGITIS ?
Johnny Suave - Well? No...
Jill-Berg - NEW VACCINATION RECOMMENDATIONS HAVE RECENTLY BEEN APPROVED FOR TEENS AND COLLEGE STUDENTS WHO ARE AT AN INCREASED RISK FOR CONTRACTING THIS DISEASE. IMMUNIZATION AND GOOD HYGIENE MAY HELP PREVENT MOST CASES IN TEENS AND YOUNG ADULTS.
TALK TO YOUR CHILD’S DOCTOR ABOUT IMMUNIZATION OR VISIT W-W-W- DOT-N-M-A-U-S-DOT-O-R-G.
Berg smiles to the camera.
Jill-Berg - I'm Jill Berg. Remember, I'm not just wrestling for myself. I'm wrestling for the children....]
Paige McGillicutty – Levi Johnston and Bristol Palin’s re-engagement lasted…a few seconds. Johnston appeared in the ring with an explanation.
[.......Levi Johnston in the ring.
Levi Johnston - Okay...I know there's been a lot of speculation about what happened with Bristol and me. I might have gotten someone else pregnant. I might have made a deal for a reality show. The real reason is she couldn't handle the fact that I've decided to...
Suddenly a bunch of cameramen surrounded the ring and started taking taking pictures.
Levi Johnston - ...run for mayor of Wasilla...and have a reality show based on it. Isn't that a good idea?
Johnny Suave - No...not really. And here comes the Mama Grizzly herself, the Alaskan Pitbull, Sarah Palin!
Sarah climbs into the ring with her trusty hockey stick. Johnston backs up.
The crowd roars when Bristol Palin marches to the ring.
Bristol Palin - Mom, I'll take care of this.
Levi Johnston - Now Bristol, let's talk about this...
Bristol takes the hockey stick and drills Johnston in the balls with it......]
Paige McGillicutty – Not a good night for Levi Johnston. Then, Nancy Pelosi, fed up with Jill-Berg’s PSA’s, came out.
[.......Nancy Pelosi tells Jill-Berg that she's tired of her whining and PSA's. So here's what she's going to agree to. Berg will wrestle the Kings of Old School in a handicap match at PCW Lock and Load in two weeks. If Berg wins, Pelosi will consider given her a title shot. If Berg loses, she's out of PCW alltogether.
Suave doesn't think it sounds very fair. But Berg comes out and agrees to the stipulation......]
Paige McGillicutty – Following that, a battle of PCW newcomers.
Andy Golatta (I)
vs. Jordan Metzger (D)
...Metzger with a high crossbody. He covers for 2. Metzger whips Golatta into the ropes and he runs into a nasty superkick to the jaw for another 2. Golatta applies a hammerlock then rams Metzger into the corner. Golatta works on the arm but Metzger somehow delivers a kick to the face. Jabs by Metzger. He tries a kick but Golatta ducks it and unloads with a massive right for 2. Golatta with a whip. Metzger comes off the ropes and lands a somersault kick to the head for 2. Somersault leg drop from the middle rope! 1...2...no! Metzger goes back up top...inverted 450 Leg Drop...FOUL POLE! Golatta covers...1...2...3!!!
Johnny Suave - HOLY CRAP! What did I just see??
The replay shows that just as Metzger came down, Golatta reared back and nailed him with the foul pole right below the belt. Metzger crumpled in half and Golatta scored the easy pin.
WINNER: Andy Golatta @ 11:25
Johnny Suave - Wow! I-ya...that just hurts looking at it......]
Paige McGillicutty – And if things couldn’t get any more bizarre…
[......A pissed off flight attendant marches wearing a wet shirt to the ring.
Johnny Suave - That's JetBlue flight attendant Steve Slater! Why is he here?
Slater climbs into the ring.
Steve Slater - You can all #$@# off! Especially the @#@hole who bumped into me and made me spill my beer! I've had it!
Road Rage Randy (Triple R) (D)
Johnny Suave - OH, OH! HERE COMES TRIPLE R!
Triple R hits the ring and clotheslines Slater. He starts beating the living crap out of him.
Johnny Suave - Makes sense! Triple R would be one of those types who'd pull something out of an overhead bin before the plane came to a complete stop and then be a total ass about it afterwards.
Triple R lifts Slater and heaves him over the top rope. Then he turns to the crowd with his arms up.
Ken Worth- The American Trucker (I)
Johnny Suave - IT'S THE PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION! KEN WORTH- THE AMERICAN TRUCKER!
Worth tackles Triple R and they roll around the ring......]
Paige McGillicutty – Yeah, the Ken W orth-Triple R feud is heating up rather nicely, don’t you think? Those two have a standing date at PCW Lock and Load in two weeks. Next, the Tea Party faced off against one of it’s most vocal enemies, MSNBC.
Nic Koteen, NRA, and Al Cahall w/the 'Queen of Political Incorrectness' Andrea Doria (Tea Party)
MSNBC: Keith Olbermann, 'Hardball' Chris Matthews, and Rachel Maddow (D)
......Everyone is on the floor except Koteen...He launches himself over the top onto everyone! Rachel Maddow tries to fly but misses. Koteen tags in and hits a backbreaker on Maddow. Koteen for the win...he gets a 2 count. Chops in the corner by Koteen. Maddow responds with poke to the eye and tags in 'Hardball' Chris Matthews. Matthews fights back with chops of his own and a big clothesline. He charges...right into a drop toe hold into the turnbuckle by Koteen! NRA tags in for the Tea Party. He takes down Maddow and Olbermann in the corner. Crossbody to Matthews. Cover...1...2...no. Leg kicks by NRA to Matthews. Russian leg sweep followed by a low dropkick by NRA. He covers...Olbermann is in to break it up. Koteen is on the top, Matthews and Maddow superplex him down. NRA and Al Cahall are over...Gun Rack! NRA has Matthews in the Gun Rack but clothesline by Olbermann. Olbermann follows with the Skull-Krushing Finale on Al Cahall! Missile dropkick by Maddow to NRA! Olbermann with a double underhook piledriver to Al Cahall! Olbermann covers! 1...2...3!
WINNER: MSNBC @ 8:54
Paige McGillicutty – And that brings us to our main event. ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott versus Road Rage Randy aka Triple R. Both of these guys have designs on the PCW Title. Scott has actually held the PCW Title. Let’s go to the ring and see how this one turned out.
Kevin Scott (R)
Road Rage Randy (D)
End Summary...legdrop by Triple R into the chair! He covers...2 count only. Whip by Triple R...no reverse by Scott but Triple R elbows him. Triple R goes to the top but Scott gets there before he can jump...slam off the top by Scott. Scott grabs the chair...*WHAP* Triple R staggers back...*WHAP* Scott throws down the chair and bulldogs Triple R face first onto it. Scott goes top rope...
Yamamoto Tanaka (D)
Johnny Suave - IT'S THE PCW CHAMPION!
...Tanaka runs down and crotches Scott on the top rope. Tanaka then calls his valet Reika in to hold the chair in front of Scott's face...Van Daminator! Scott falls to the floor. Tanaka and Reika pull Scott back in. Tanaka climbs the corner turnbuckle.
Johnny Suave - HE'S GOING FOR THE JAPANESE SUPERDESTROYER! BUT WAIT!...
Doug 'King Kong' Kingman (R)
Kingman runs to the ring and pushes Tanaka off the top rope. Tanaka and Scott land separately inside the ring. Kingman gets a chair and puts it on Tanaka...leg drop to the chair! Triple R back up. Scott gets a boot up to a charging Triple R at the last possible second. Springboard tornado DDT to the chair by Scott!!! 1...2...3!!!
WINNER: Kevin Scott @ 14:21
Johnny Suave - KEVIN SCOTT IS BACK!
Nancy Pelosi's voice - WAIT A MINUTE! WAAAAAIIIITTTTT A MINUTE!
Johnny Suave - Great. Here comes Nancy Pelosi.
Pelosi and Harry Reid appear.
Nancy Pelosi - Kevin Scott. I suppose you think that because you defeated Triple R tonight that you deserve a title shot against Yamamoto Tanaka at PCW Lock and Load in 2 weeks.
The crowd cheers.
Nancy Pelosi - Well, guess what? You don't. In two weeks, it'll be Average Joe versus the PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka in the Main Event of PCW Lock and Load!
The crowd boos. But Sharron Angle (R) walks out with a piece of paper.
Sharron Angle - Sorry to interrupt you Nancy. But I have something that's of interest to your pal Harry Reid. This piece of paper says that the seventh match to be named for November's PCW Extreme Election Night 2010 is...SHARRON ANGLE VERSUS HARRY REID!
Crowd - RAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Johnny Suave - HOLY CRAP! ANGLE VERSUS REID AT PCW EXTREME ELECTION NIGHT! LOOK AT REID'S FACE!
Reid looks horrified.
Johnny Suave - WE'LL SEE YOU NEXT TIME!
Other WP Political Blogger Posts:
- Georgia runoff too close to call; Bennet gets big win in Colorado August 11, 2010 aharding
- Tancredo: Block funding for illegals August 11, 2010 aharding
- McMahon wins Conn. Senate primary; Georgia runoff too close to call August 11, 2010 cnnjs
- President Obama signs into law ban on cell phones in federal prisons August 10, 2010 cnnjs
- War of words between Sestak and Toomey continues August 10, 2010 cnnjs
- JetBlue flight attendant Steven Slater emerges from jail, basks in new status as celebrity August 11, 2010
- Jeff Danziger: General Petreaus Sells the War August 11, 2010 Jeff Danziger
- Steven G. Brant: Reinventing Repower America: Our Only Hope For Winning the Climate Change Battle in America August 11, 2010 Steven G. Brant
- Cenk Uygur: Gibbs is Wrong: It Isn’t About the Professional Left August 11, 2010 Cenk Uygur
- Bring It On, Levi! August 11, 2010 Shushannah Walshe
- Ted Stevens’ Final Chapter August 11, 2010 Alexandra Gutierrez
- The Year’s Most Revolting 3-D Romp August 11, 2010 Jacob Bernstein
- We Need a New Recovery Plan August 11, 2010 Robert M. Solow
- Newt Gingrich Is Crazier Than You Think August 11, 2010 Eric Alterman
- Love After Lockerbie August 11, 2010 Lloyd Grove
- The Reality Makeover That Failed August 11, 2010 Andy Dehnart
- Primary Watch: Bennet wins in Colorado August 11, 2010
- Stevens mourned as Senate giant August 10, 2010
- Rand Paul: I’m no kidnapper August 10, 2010
- Rangel’s plea irks even Democrats August 10, 2010
- Report: Former Sen. Stevens died in crash August 10, 2010
- Gibbs lashes out at ‘professional left’, apologizes August 10, 2010
- Obama warns GOP: ‘I politic pretty good’ August 9, 2010
- And the Winner Is… August 11, 2010 Jay Newton-Small
- Flying to Dillingham August 10, 2010 Jay Newton-Small
- We Need More Money! Wait – Maybe Not. August 10, 2010 Kate Pickert
- RE: Rangel’s Rant August 10, 2010 Jay Newton-Small
- Ted Stevens August 10, 2010 Joe Klein
- Remembering Ted Stevens: Alaskan Icon and Self-Declared “S.O.B.” August 10, 2010 Michael Crowley
- Why God Invented C-SPAN August 10, 2010 Jay Newton-Small
- Rangel’s Rant August 10, 2010 Jay Newton-Small
- Meet The Candidate: Alaska Edition? August 10, 2010
- Iran In The 70′s August 10, 2010
- Overnight Open Thread August 10, 2010
- Primaries, Polls August 10, 2010
- Who is the Bully Behind the Pulpit? August 10, 2010
- Rand Paul: I Did Not Have Aqua Buddha Relations With That Woman, The Chick From The Swim Team August 10, 2010
- Another Epic Quit: “HOPA” Gets Vengeance August 10, 2010
- JetBlue Guy Decides Story Wasn’t Already Awesome Enough So Gets Arrested While Having Sex With His Boyfriend August 10, 2010
- Sandra Bullock Re: Space-Invading Levi Johnston: “Get Him Away From Me” August 10, 2010
BREAKING: Ted Stevens Killed in Plane CrashPolitics RedState
Steven Slater Ends Flight Attendant Career in Hilarious, Illegal Fashion The Hollywood Gossip
Tribalism is the Last Refuge of Political Scoundrels, Including Robert Gibbs - Firedoglake
Gibbs: People who are upset with Obama don’t live in real America, didn’t help get Obama elected - AMERICAblog News
Gibbs Railing Against “Professional Left” - Shadow of the Hegemon
Michael Bennet Wins Colorado Democratic Senate Primary - Politics on HuffingtonPost.com
Ken Buck wins Colorado GOP primary for Senate - Fire Andrea Mitchell!
Preempting Washington, Gates Cuts Pentagon Budget The Washington Independent
Rangel defends Rangel Daily Kos
Representative Rangel Reaction to Ethics Violation Charges - US Post Today.
Charlie Rangel: ‘I’m Not Going Away,’ You’ll Have To Get ‘Rid Of Me Through Expulsion’ - The Huffington Post
Ex-WWE exec wins GOP primary for Conn. Senate seat - Oh No They Didn’t!
Linda McMahon Wins GOP Primary - lalate news – America’s Fastest Growing Celebrity News …
McMahon wins CT-SEN primary - Capitol Watch
Filed under: 2010 Election, Average Joe, Barack Obama, Blogs- Pro Wrestling, democrats, Independents, joe six pack, Joe the Plumber, John McCain, Paul Heyman, political satire, political wrestling, Politics, Pro Wrestling, red state, republicans, Small Town America, Third Party, wordpress political blogs | Tagged: Bristol Palin, Harry Reid, J.D. Hayworth, Levi Johnston, Linda McMahon, Nancy Pelosi, Sarah Palin, Steve Slater, Vince McMahon, WWE | Leave a Comment »