PCW Extreme Political TV (1 hr)
The Former ECW Arena
Monday November 15th (Taped Monday November 8th)
Hosted by Johnny Suave
Suave is in the ring at the Sullivan Arena in Anchorage Alaska. He reviews the Lisa Murkowski-Joe Miller-Scott McAdams match from PCW Extreme Election Night 2010 and announces that the rematch will take place live in 30 minutes.
MATCH #1- PCW Television Title Match
Jordan Metzger (D)
Ken Worth- The American Trucker (American Heartland) (c) w/
VALET: Tequila Sheila
End Match Summary
…Metzger gets a school boy for two. Worth hits a drop toe hold onto a chair and busts Metzger wide open. He rolls through for a sunset flip. Cover. 1…2…Metzger gets the shoulder up. Worth with a knee to the gut and punches away. He covers again…1…2…
Road Rage Randy (Triple R) (D)
…Triple R pulls Worth off. He springs over the TV Champion and hits an arm drag takedown. Triple R then kicks at Worth’s arm over and over. The crowd roars when…
Yamamoto Tanaka and Reika Kisaurgi (D)
…when Tanaka and Reika sprint down to the ring. Tanaka charges right at Triple R and starts throwing bombs at him. He gets a double underhook and lifts up Triple R and crotches him on the top rope. From the top rope, Reika missile dropkicks Triple R to the floor. Democrat leaders Tim Kaine and Steny Hoyer race down to break up the fracas.
Worth off the top rope with a flying elbow and rolled up Metzger for another two count. Worth electrifies the crowd with a Burning Hammer and a slingshot senton. Worth with a school boy and gets a two count. Tequila Sheila nails Metzger upside the head with a blender shot from the apron and Worth hits the Jake Brake for the three count at 11:01.
WINNER AND STILL PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION: Ken Worth- The American Trucker (American Heartland) @ 8:42
Kaine and Hoyer continue to attempt to separate Triple R and Tanaka as they brawl up the aisle. Suave notes that the Democrats will need to work on some TLC for former 2-time PCW Champion Tanaka as it was a Democrat who cost him the title.
Backstage, Cecil Newton…
Cecil and Auburn QB Cam Newton
…meets with PCW representatives about bringing his son, Auburn quarterback Cam Newton to a PCW show. Newton informs the rep that there’s no way that his son would set foot at a PCW event for less than a half a million dollars. In fact, Cecil Newton wants his parking paid for and a generous stipend for coming to a bingo hall in Philadelphia to negotiate. Newton demands payment and then…
*Def Leppard’s ‘Rock, Rock Til You Drop’ blares*
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot
Suave goes nuts as the Extreme Equalizer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot races down to the ring with Boise State quarterback Kellen Moore and TCU quarterback Andy Dalton. Suave notes that it’s Boise and TCU who will probably get screwed out of this whole affair. WTF grabs Newton by the throat, lift, chokeslam. Moore and Dalton spray paint their respective team names on Newton.
Back in the ring, ‘The Mastermind’ Karl Rove…
Karl Rove (R)
…points to his temple to make sure everyone realizes that he’s a freakin’ genius. Rove says he meant every word he said about the Tea Party not being very sophisticated. He adds that the ‘country club set’ of the Republican side is very unhappy about the fact that Dick Cheney, a man with a serious heart condition, was booked to face the new PCW Champion Jill Berg (R)…
PCW Champion Jill Berg (R)
…tonight. Then Rove hawks former PCW CEO George W. Bush’s new book, Decision Points.
Cut to backstage, the Democrats who’ve been provided copies of W’s book throw it in a pile and then set fire to it.
MATCH #2- PCW Title Match
Dick Cheney (R)
Jill Berg (R) (c) w/Daisy Cutter-Bomb
End Match Summary
…Berg with a grounded headlock. ‘The Mastermind’ Karl Rove and W’s Image Rehab and Truth Squad (‘The Mastermind’ Karl Rove, Andrew Card, Dana Perino, Ari Fleischer) finally act. Card and Fleischer get into the ring and shove Berg off of Cheney. Perino pushes Berg out of the ring while Dick gets up and staggers to the corner. Daisy Cutter-Bomb jumps in and decks Card, Perino, and Fleischer with a series of shoulder blocks. Rove motions to the back for help. Daisy heads up quickly to the top turnbuckle when…
…Big Oil, Big Electric, and Kirk Walstreit run in and push Daisy off the top rope through a table just outside the ring. And now it’s on. The crowd stands and cheers when…
‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin (R) and the ‘Delaware Diva’ Christine O’Donnell (R)
…lead the Tea Party (‘The Princess of Political Incorrectness Andrea Doria, Nic Koteen, Average Joe, NRA, Al Cahall, Grizzly Adam, and Hunter the Hunter) down to the ring. Koteen hits a missile dropkick on Walstreit. Big Electric charges Average Joe and somehow Joe’s able to backdrop the big guy to the floor from the ring apron! Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”
Big Oil sends NRA and Cahall into the steel steps and then drops Grizzly Adam over the guardrail. Republican leaders Michael Steele and Eric Cantor frantically climb into the ring and try to quell the battle. Big Oil throws Hunter the Hunter over the guardrail and plays to the crowd booing as he takes too much time. Palin sneaks in from behind and cracks Big Oil across the back with her hockey stick. Big Oil turns and grabs Palin by the neck and then Christine O’Donnell connects with a huge elbow to his nether regions. Average Joe follows with a chairshot to Big Oil and drops him.
WINNER: No contest @ 3:40
Suave then introduces a special edition of Bill Clinton’s Hot Tub- live from Bangkok, Thailand where he’s filming a cameo role in the upcoming flick The Hangover 2.
Bill Clinton (D)
Clinton lounges in the hot tub and welcomes everyone to another edition of ‘Bill Clinton’s Hot Tub. He’s relaxing after shooting his cameo. Clinton asks if anyone gets the irony of him being in a hot tub in a city called Bangkok? ‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin was supposed to be his guest to discuss her latest book, but apparently she now has her own reality show on TLC. Clinton was hoping that two of the stars in The Hangover II, Juliette Lewis and Jamie Chung, were going to stop over for a few minutes.
After a few minutes of rambling on about the state of the country, Clinton asks one of his aides about Juliette and Jamie coming on to the show. The aides scurry about and in the end, the only one they can dredge up is…
Clinton is notably deflated at the prospect of sharing a hot tub with Olbermann. Keith climbs in and they discuss his recent suspension from MSNBC. Clinton: “Staffers use phrases like “scorched-earth policy” and “totally narcissistic response” to describe how you’ve dealt with criticism of your political donations.” Olbermann replies he feels misunderstood and unfairly singled out. Yet he’s buoyed by a wave of support from his liberal fans, who view him as a courageous champion for their cause.
An aide comes up to Clinton and whispers something in his ear. Clinton smiles and tries to wrap up the interview but Olbermann keeps going on. He complains that management doesn’t understand that his personal problems was affecting his work and that’s why he looked angrier on the air. Clinton politely agrees and again tries to wrap things up so Juliette Lewis and Jamie Chung can join him in the hot tub.
Jamie Chung & Juliette Lewis
But Olbermann continues on. he laments that some of his own team confronted him and said that his actions had hurt the network and the incoming bosses at Comcast, which will soon close a deal to buy NBC from General Electric, who are a more buttoned-down crowd than he’s been working with. Clinton nods and again tries to end the interview with Lewis and Chung in the wings but Olbermann keeps going on and on and on…
Suave comes back on and he feels Bill Clinton’s pain. Murkowski v. Miller- next.
Championship Wrestling Council- Episode 12
Live from the Middle of Nowhere Arena, NV
November 27th, 2010
Pure Challenge – CWC Showcase Championship
Alexia(c) (VWF) vs. Tweeder (PWX)
– Tweeder makes his long awaited CWC debut against the sultry Showcase Champion.
Fatal 6 Way – CWC Turkey Bowl
Joey K vs. Trey Willett (SHOOT) vs. Scott DiBiase (VWF) vs. Aaron Rupp (TGW) vs. Alex Brooks (SHOOT) vs. TD Alexander (VWF)
– The first ever CWC turkey bowl, the name of the game is not losing. The winner earns a $10,000 purse, while the loser becomes the CWC turkey!
Single – CWC Hardcore Championship
Jeremiah Belmont (PWX) vs. Brandon Watkins (PWR)
– Brandon Watkins was victorious over Belmont at Destiny, can he strike twice, this time for gold?
Tag Team – #1 Contenders Match
Alexander StarrZoe and Devon Chaney (PrYde) vs. Lucy Johnson and First Degree (CWA)
– In our first of two #1 Contendership matches tonight, Lethal Attraction takes on Starr and The Rage.
Single – No DQ
Typhoon Vance (VWF) vs. Black Death w/MDK (PWR)
– At Destiny, MDK screwed Typhoon Vance in his match. Now Vance looks for revenge, but first he has to go through MDK’s partner, AND one of the ninja’s…Black Death
Single – CWC North American Championship
Thatcher Rex (X3) vs. Emma McIntyre (CWA)
– Emma McIntyre makes her long awaited return to CWC, and she hopes to make it a victorious one.
Triple Threat – Special Referee – #1 Contendership
Tyler Graves (VWF) vs. Rick Rampage vs. Cobra (6CW)
Special Referee: Jinx
– Three men vying for some World Championship action have to go through each other…and the Champ, who is the referee. Will Jinx call it down the middle? Or will he simply hand select his opponent himself?
Lisa Murkowski is already in the ring as Kimber Marshall…
…does the ring introductions.
Lisa Murkowski (I)
Kimber- Her opponent is in the red corner tonight. Representing the Republicans- JOE MILLER!
Joe Miller (R)
Suave – We are live at the Sullivan Arena in Anchorage, Alaska for tonight’s rematch between Lisa Murkowski and Joe Miller. Miller is looking for a little revenge after Murkowski defeated him at PCW Extreme Election Night 2010.
The bell rings.
Murkowski runs right out with a knee to the gut of Miller.
Suave- Lock-up attempt by Miller…he hammers Murkowski down with forearm shots to the back.
Big forearm uppercuts from Miller in the corner. He lays in more big forearms before following that up with some knife-edge chops. Miller whips Murkowski across into the corner.
Suave- Miller sends Murkowski for the ride…Murkowski flips over a backdrop attempt and…
Murkowski drops Miller with a dropkick to the groin.
Suave- Murkowski low-bridges him!
Miller fights back to his feet and stops the momentum with a knee to Murkowski’s gut.
Suave- Miller catches Murkowski coming in…rolling Russian legsweep by Miller… into a modified backbreaker!
Suave- Nice combo from Joe Miller there! He starts laying in the boots to Murkowski, now…into the ropes…short elbowdrop by Miller. Cover…he’ll get just a one-count.
Murkowski with a shot to the gut and another, but Miller cuts her off with a knee to the head.
Suave- Big boot by Miller knocks Murkowski against the second rope. Miller chokes Murkowski across the rope.
Miller talks to the crowd.
Suave- Bad idea. He can’t give Murkowski time to recover like that. They trade forearm strikes. Miller with a whip into the corner…he catches Murkowski coming out with a Bulldog.
Miller whips her to the other side and drops Murkowski with a sidewalk slam.
Suave- Cover….1…………..2………..Murkowski kicks out!
Miller argues about the count. He tries to whip Murkowski into the corner, but she reverses it and hits a big boot to the face.
Suave- Murkowski on the offense now. Boot to the gut…spinning neckbreaker off the ropes! Murkowksi fires up the crowd and blocks a right hand from Miller! She whips him into the ropes…back elbows by Murkowski…BIG scoop slam!
Murkowski off the ropes with a HEAVY back senton!! 1………….2………….
Suave- NO! Miller barely gets a shoulder up! Murkowski whips Miller into the ropes…Miller ducks the clothesline…HUGE MODIFIED POWERBOMB BY MILLER!!
Suave- Cover…1……………..2……………..NO! Murkowski rolls the shoulder just in the nick of time!
And here comes Big Oil with a chair followed by Big Electric, Kirk Walstreit, and Rough Justice- D.B. Ruff and Connor Justice- two former police officers fired for their extreme brand of law enforcement.
Suave- IT’S THE REPUBLICAN ESTABLISHMENT!
Big Oil throws the chair at Miller’s head. Thrust kick off the top by Walstreit. All three now stomping Miller in the corner.
Suave- FOUR AGAINST ONE! Walstreit holds the chair…
Murkowski dropkicks the chair into Miller’s face.
Crowd- PCW! PCW! PCW!
W’s Image Rehab and Truth Squad (‘The Mastermind’ Karl Rove, Andrew Card, Dana Perino, Ari Fleischer with Dick Cheney) walk to the ring and look very pleased.
Rove points to his temple again to make sure everyone knows that he’s a friggin’ genius.
Suave- Miller rolls to the outside. Baseball slide to the outside by Murkowski.
Miller jumps at her. She moves and Miller lands throat first on the guardrail.
Suave- HOLY CRAP!
Murkowski grabs a chair and blasts Miller in the back with it. Big Oil and Big Electric hold Miller up…Murkowski nails him again with the chair.
PCW Champion Jill Berg, Daisy Cutter-Bomb, ‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin, and Christine O’Donnell
Suave- HERE COMES THE TEA PARTY!
Berg, Daisy, Palin, and O’Donnell race out with…
‘The Princess of Political Incorrectness’ Andrea Doria
…and Nic Koteen, NRA, Al Cahall, Grizzly Adam, and Hunter the Hunter.
Suave- HERE WE GO!
Rough Justice starts tasering everyone in sight.
Suave- DOWN GOES NIC KOTEEN! DOWN GOES AL CAHALL! DOWN GOES GRIZZLY ADAM!
Card, Perino, and Fleischer brawl with Palin, O’Donnell, and Berg.
D.B. Ruff grabs Daisy Cutter-Bomb. Connor Justice goes to tase her…Daisy moves and Ruff gets tased by mistake.
Suave- Daisy has Justice up…DAISY CUTTER-POWERBOMB THROUGH THE BELL TABLE!
Crowd- PCW! PCW! PCW!
Suave- THEY’RE STILL BRAWLING OUTSIDE THE RING. MURKOWSKI AND MILLER ARE BACK IN THE RING AND THE WEAPONS HAVE COME OUT!
Murkowski is beating Miller with a trash can lid. Miller lifts Murkowski and crotches her on the guardrail.
Suave- Miller sets up a chair in the corner. OH! TRASH CAN SHOT BY MURKOWSKI!…AND ANOTHER!
Sarah Palin climbs into the ring.
Suave- SARAH PALIN IN THE RING!
Murkowski turns and clocks Palin with a trash can shot.
Suave- HOLY CRAP!
Murkowski sidewalk slams Palin onto the trash cans. Miller hits Murkowski in the head with a cooking sheet. Big Oil hits Miller with a kendo stick.
Chin lock by Big Oil on Miller. The referee tries to get him out of the ring. Jill Berg climbs into the ring and she has a special surprise for Big Oil.
Suave- THE PCW CHAMPION IN THE RING! SHE’S GOT ONE OF THE TASERS…HOLY CRAP! SHE JUST TASED BIG OIL!
Miller fights out. Rakes Murkowski’s eyes. Murkowski fights off the chokeslam and runs the ropes.
Suave- Crossbody by Murkowski! Cover…NO! Miller out at two.
Elbow in the corner by Murkowski and she throws Miller head first into the chair. Murkowski puts a chair on top of Miller and goes to the top rope.
Suave- AIR MURKOWSKI ON THE WAY! BIG LEG DROP ON MILLER!
Murkowski hooks the legs…one…two…Miller kicks out at 2.8. Murkowski pulls Miller up. She crotches him on the top and Miller is tied to the tree of woe.
Suave- Oh no. Murkowski has the kendo stick.
Murkowski hits Miller in the nuts.
Suave- HOLY CRAP!
Miller tumbles off the turnbuckle into a crumpled heap.
Suave- MILLER’S NOT MOVING MUCH! WHAT’S MURKOWSKI DOING?
Murkowski leaves the ring and grabs something from underneath the ring. Then she comes back in.
Suave- WHAT THE- PLIERS? SHE’S GOT A PAIR OF PLIERS? WHAT DOES SHE NEED WITH A PAIR OF PLIERS?
Murkowski clamps the pliers on Miller’s balls.
Crowd- HOLY #$#$! HOLY $#$#!…
Suave- HOLY CRAP!
The referee calls for the bell.
WINNER: Lisa Murkowski @ 20:18
Suave- THAT’S IT! BUT MURKOWSKI’S NOT LETTING UP.
She bats the referee away and keeps the pliers clamped on. Sarah Palin, bleeding from a cut above the eye, jumps in and picks up the kendo stick.
Suave- THE ALASKAN PITBULL’S BACK IN THE RING! *THWACK* HOLY CRAP! SHE JUST FILETED MURKOWSKI’S BACK. *THWACK* ANOTHER KENDO SHOT! IT’S BEDLAM HERE IN ANCHORAGE! LISA MURKOWSKI GETS THE WIN! THAT’S ALL FOR TONIGHT! I’M JOHNNY SUAVE AND WE’LL SEE YOU AFTER THANKSGIVING!
Filed under: 2010 Election, Average Joe, Blogs- Pro Wrestling, democrats, Independents, joe six pack, Joe the Plumber, Paul Heyman, political satire, political wrestling, Politics, Pro Wrestling, red state, republicans, Small Town America, Third Party, wordpress political blogs | Tagged: Bill Clinton, Christine O'Donnell, Dick Cheney, George W. Bush, Joe Miller, Karl Rove, Lisa Murkowski, Sarah Palin | 2 Comments »