Gee Apologizes, Republican Contenders for 2012 Appear: 12/6 PCW Extreme Political TV

PCW Extreme Political TV (1 hr)
PCW Hall
Archbold, Ohio
Monday December 6th
Hosted by Johnny Suave

Suave is at the broadcast table and there is a surprise guest in the ring.


E. Gordon Gee
President of The Ohio State University

Suave reviews what took place at a recent PCW house show…

Gee returned fire, and called a playoff system “a slippery slope to professionalism.”  Gee reiterated that he was dead set against a playoff system and praised the BCS.

There’s a commotion in the crowd and then…


ESPN’s Mark May and Craig James

May and James run down and attack Boise State President Bob Kustra and Average Joe.  Gee cheered them on.

*Def Leppard’s ‘Rock, Rock Til’ You Drop blares*


Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

The Extreme Equalizer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot runs to the ring along with Boise State Kellen Moore and TCU’s Andy Dalton…

…WTF, Moore, and Dalton hit the ring.  WTF grabbed Gee by his pencil neck and chokeslammed him to the mat.

May and James attempt to beg off and back out of the ring.  Their escape is blunted by Average Joe who pushes them into twin lariats by Moore and Dalton.  WTF directed Moore and Dalton to bring in tables and set them up.  Once set, WTF picked up May and powerbombed him through one of the tables.  Then he pulled James up and powerbombed him through the second table.

Gee’s first words: “Lesson learned.”   He says he never should have opened his mouth on the subject, that he didn’t know what he was talking about and that he was going to have his foot surgically removed from his mouth.  He also says he sent a contribution to The Little Sisters of the Poor.

The boos that greet Gee in the ring turn to cheers.


Average Joe

Average Joe walks out and tells Gee he appreciates what he said.  Then he rips on the BCS again for what he called ‘ the royal screw-job to TCU.’  Average Joe explains that supposedly, strength of schedule was to be the end-all.  Then he points to the video screen…

TCU    12-0  60.20         SOS 72       40.40
Oregon 12-0 59.70      SOS 86       39.39

Average Joe notes that an apples to apples comparison shows that TCU’s strength of schedule is better than Oregon’s.

There’s a commotion in the crowd and then…


ESPN’s Mark May and Craig James


Bill Hancock

BCS Commissioner

Hancock says no matter how many unbeaten teams you have, only two teams can play in the championship game. Like Cincinnati last year. I’d say, congratulations to TCU on a fine season and good luck in your bowl game.

The crowd boos.

He adds the best thing about the BCS is it preserves the college football regular season as the most significant in sports. It preserves the bowl system, which gives the student-athletes five or six days in a different culture to do what they love, which is playing football and being with their teammates. A playoff would turn that into a one-day business trip. I’m just convinced that you can have both, that the bowls would (be able to) survive. No visits to hospitals or military bases or Disneyland. It would just not be the same.

More boos.

Hancock then says the BCS is intended to match teams ranked 1 and 2 in a bowl game.  In our minds, it’s working.

*Def Leppard’s ‘Rock, Rock Til’ You Drop blares*


Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

May and James quickly make their exit at the sight of the Extreme Equalizer leaving Hancock in the ring.  WTF slides in, grabs Hancock by the throat, choke slam.

Crowd: “PCW!…PCW!…PCW!…”

Suave sends it backstage.


‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D)

Chism is backstage with his manager…


‘The Genius’ Stephen Hawking

Chism calls out the new PCW Champion Jill-Berg and demands a title shot.  Chism gloats about Hawking’s master plan to eliminate the toughest obstacle in his path to the title- former champion Yamamoto Tanaka, and pave the way for him to win the belt.  He’s sorry about what happened to Triple R at the hands of Tanaka…

PCW Extreme Political TV- Monday November 15th


Road Rage Randy (Triple R)  (D)

…Triple R pulls Worth off.  He springs over the TV Champion and hits an arm drag takedown.   Triple R then kicks at Worth’s arm over and over.  The crowd roars when…


Yamamoto Tanaka and Reika Kisaurgi (D)

…when Tanaka and Reika sprint down to the ring.  Tanaka charges right at Triple R and starts throwing bombs at him.  He gets a double underhook and lifts up Triple R and crotches him on the top rope.  From the top rope, Reika missile dropkicks Triple R to the floor.  Democrat leaders Tim Kaine and Steny Hoyer race down to break up the fracas.

Chism doesn’t exhibit any fear about Tanaka this week since he’s away.  He says if anyone needs to be afraid, it’s the PCW Champion Jill Berg.  Chism has the title in his sights and no one can stop him.

—————–


‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R)
vs.

Big Oil (R)

Suave notes that unlike Kevin Scott, Big Oil has no problem challenging a fellow Republican for something he wants dearly- the PCW Title.  He’s made it clear that he doesn’t care who he has to destroy to remove any obstacle in his path.

Scott finds himself in a pickle.  Overpowered in the early going by Big Oil, he starts throwing in all manner of lucha moves including a springboard clothesline.  Big Oil chops the living hell out of Scott and then targets Scott’s leg in order to slow down the high flying at the five minute mark.   Scott then gets attacked by Big Electric and Kirk Walstreit.  The interference is just too much for Scott to overcome and Big Oil nails the Oklahoma Driller for the win.

WINNER: Big Oil @ 6:49

Scott’s pissed and grabs a chair.  He blasts Walstreit, blasts Big Electric, and goes off looking for Big Oil.

BACKSTAGE

Some of the contenders for the upcoming 2012 Republican PCW CEO contest mill about.  There’s Newt Gingrich.  Mitt Romney.  ‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin.  Mike Huckabee.

Suave muses about the 2012 contest and the fact that the beginning is almost a year away.

Big Oil schmoozes with the contenders.  Then Kevin Scott comes in and blasts his knee with a steel chair.  Gingrich, Romney, Palin, and Huckabee scatter.  Scott whacks Big Oil’s knee a second time and then nails him in the back with the chair.  He sees Big Electric and Kirk Walstreit running towards him and takes off.

Suave: “You know, you can’t make this stuff up.”

MAIN EVENT- Non title match


PCW Champion Jill Berg (R) w/Daisy Cutter-Bomb
vs.
Al Cahall (Tea Party)

THUMP

THUMP

THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

THUMP

THUMP

THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

The video screen goes to just outside a dressing room in the back. A police escort is waiting at the door. One of the policemen knocks on the door.

Policeman – Ms. Berg.   It’s time.

The door opens and four large male bodybuilding types walk out of the dressing room surrounding a petite woman, her male assistant, Jerry, and Daisy Cutter-Bomb.  Berg and Daisy run towards the ring.

THUMP

THUMP

THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

The crowd chants “JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”

THUMP

THUMP

THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

“JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”

The procession emerges from the back and starts their way down the ramp. The male assistant has a microphone and a portable tape recorder. He flips it on.

“JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”

The group then continues towards the ring leaving the police escort behind.

“JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”

The four bodyguards assist Ms. Berg into the ring.   She immediately goes to a corner.

“JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”

Berg continues to talk on her cell phone.

“JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”

“JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”


Kimber Marshall

Kimber Marshall introduces the match.

Immediately, Berg’s bodyguards attack Cahall and beat him down.   They hold him up and Daisy Cutter-Bomb spears Cahall.  Then Daisy lifts him up and Jackhammer Slams him to the mat.  Daisy pulls him up.  Berg walks over…BUZZSAW KICK!  Berg covers…1…2…3.

WINNER: Jill Berg @ :58

‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism appears in the aisle and points at Berg, making the ‘belt around the waist’ gesture.   Jill dares him to come into the ring.  Chism steps forward and…


Yamamoto Tanaka and Reika Kisaurgi (D)

…Tanaka spears Chism out of his shoes.  Tanaka rains down lefts and rights as  Democrat leaders Tim Kaine and Steny Hoyer race down to stop the brawl.  Tanaka drags Chism to the ring and climbs the turnbuckle.  JAPANESE SUPERDESTROYER!

Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”

Crowd: “PCW!…PCW!…PCW!…”

Chism is laid out in the ring.  Kaine and Hoyer try to reason with Tanaka as the show ends.

One Response

  1. Lesson learned: Never mess with a mans Sake!

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