PCW Fourth of July Spectacular
Monday July 4th, 2011
Hosted by Johnny Suave
Coming out first was Suave with his life-size cardboard cut-out of Shania Twain.
He commented about the great weather outside and brought out PCW’s ring announcer Kimber Marshall to introduce the first match of the night.
In this battle of political mascots, Scabby was out first and received a standing ovation from the union supporters in the crowd. Fun match with lots of comedy spots. There was a 30 second spot of the match with Scabby, Rich, and the referee running around the ring chasing Nancy Pelosi (D) and John Boehner (R) in a spectacle that resembled a Three Stooges episode.
The finish came when, once again, Independent Charlie Blackwell…
…and his Les Miserables hit the ring and attacked both mascots causing a double countout.
2. Jamie Walker (R) w/Jon Huntsman (R-UT) def. Bobby Eaglesmith (D)
Huntsman has decided on Walker to be his wrestler going into the 2012 contest and he easily dispatches Eaglesmith in a quick match.
In a move that shocked literally no one, The California Teacher’s Union (‘Foul Pole’ Andy Golatta and Malibu Dusty) along with the NEA endorsed Barack Obama for a second four year term as PCW CEO.
3. The CTU (D) beat The Bi-Partisan Dream Team (Blue Dog D (D) and RINO- The Wonk Machine (R)).
Match of the night. Golatta and Malibu Dusty worked the crowd into a frenzy when they brought out their pet Governor Jerry Brown on a leash. The match ended after Golatta connected with a ‘Foul Pole’ shot on RINO to gain the win.
Suave hopped in the ring and said there was a special guest, the return of a former PCW Champion.
Then O’Beck Bahama (D) came out to a huge ovation, with I’d say nearly half the crowd bowing to him. Bahama climbed into the ring, and first thing out of his mouth was, “Long time, no see, right?” to which the crowd cheered him even harder. He then said he was bad to the bone, and he was in the best shape of his life.
Suave asked him if he was coming back to PCW. Bahama only would say ‘wait and see.’
4. ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) w/the Skanky Rich Bimbos (Kim, Chloe, and Courtney) beats Kirk Walstreit (R)
Chism, still steaming over losing the PCW TV Title at the Loose Cannons Unleashed 7 PPV, did a legit five minutes on the decision to substitute Daniel-San (I) into the match, calling the PCW Competition Committee Leader John Boehner (R) ugly and called out a Republican for a street fight. Walstreit answered the call and the match turned into a brawl with lot of plunder.
The finish comes when Walstreit calls for a table, sets it up, and gets a Wardrobe Malfunction from the Skanky Rich Bimbos. Chism Hollywood Blockbusters Walstreit through the table.
Post match, John Boehner (R) comes out and announces that Chism will get his rematch for the PCW Television Title on July 30th at the CWC’s Golden Dreams show.
5. ‘The So-Called Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor and Triple R (D) def.Average Joe and NRA (R)
Good match, end came a bit out of nowhere, with Average Joe getting shoved off the top ropes into the guardrail by Triple R. Big Labor then simply rolled him into the ring and hit the Scab-buster. Big Labor with the pin for the win.
6. ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R) w/Mitt Romney def. Andy Riley (D)
Riley stalled incessantly and even tore up a fans poster. Anyway, good twenty minute back and forth battle that sees Scott winning with the Fuji Stars and Armbar submission.
7. PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka, ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee, and GreenPete (D) vs. PCW Tag Team Champions Jack and Joe Schmidt w/Ron Paul and ‘Pizza Delivery Guy’ Josh Jackson (R) w/Herman Cain- time limit draw
Solid match here, with both teams nearly winning before the thirty minute time limit expired. Run-ins and multiple near falls galore during the final two minutes of the match as James the Jeep Worker, Stone Chism, and Triple R (Democrats); The Religious Right (Rev. Flambe and Rev. Hinnrich) and Brad Company for the (Republicans) tried to turn the match.
Filed under: 2012 Election, Average Joe, Barack Obama, Blogs- Pro Wrestling, democrats, Independents, joe six pack, Joe the Plumber, Paul Heyman, political satire, political wrestling, Politics, Pro Wrestling, red state, republicans, Small Town America, Third Party, wordpress political blogs Tagged: | Herman Cain, Jerry Brown, John Boehner, Jon Huntsman, Mitt Romney, Nancy Pelosi, Ron Paul, Shania Twain