Nancy Pelosi’s Office
PCW Women’s Champion Kathryn Randall Collins barges into Pelosi’s office and demands that she get the PCW Competition Committee overturn the stipulation from last week that gave Miss USA a title chance.
Replay: The Mercenaries: Dawn McGill and Sventlana Kovalevski vs. Code Pink and Emily S. List- if the Mercenaries win Miss USA gets a title shot against KRC
…KRC then interjects herself into the match by dragging Kovalevski out of the ring and List locks McGill up in the Abdominal Stretch. List, seeing McGill’s daughter ringside, starts taunting her. Then she lifts McGill up to body slam her and feels a sharp pain in her derriere. She drops McGill and turns around to see McGill’s 2 year old daughter smiling. List, distracted, then gets walloped by a kendo stick shot by McGill and that’s all.
McGill gets the pin and Miss USA gets her title shot coming up Thursday night on PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN.
Pelosi doesn’t make any promises but tells KRC she’ll see what she can do.
Replay: The Sanderman’s win over former PCW Champion Daniel-San at a PCW House Show to win the title.
The PCW Champion says there is not one second that he ever thought he was going to lose once he got in the ring with Daniel-San. The Sanderman says he had the Democrats behind 100% his win proves that a true champ retains the will to win even through their most disappointing setbacks. He says he hasn’t been in PCW all that long but he wondered how everyone would react after he won the belt. The crowd cheers.
The Sanderman blasted Daniel-San for lashing out and making excuses. The crowd chants “What A Loser.” Suddenly, the crowd roars as Yamamoto Tanaka (R) and Mitt Romney (R-MA) appear at the top of the ramp. Tanaka strides down the ramp and climbs into the ring.
Suave announces that the main event for June’s PCW Loose Cannons Unleashed 8 PPV will be Tanaka vs. The Sanderman for the PCW title! The crowd roars again.
Tanaka nods and then offers The Sanderman a handshake. The Sanderman accepts and then Tanaka boots him in the stomach. Powerbomb. Then he drags the champion to the top turnbuckle…JAPANESE SUPERDESTROYER! Romney claps and then gets on the microphone to tell PCW CEO Barack Obama (D-IL) to ‘start packing.’
MATCHES SIGNED FOR JUNE’S PCW LOOSE CANNONS UNLEASHED 8 PPV:
-PCW Television Title Match: ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) (c) vs. Valora Salinas
-PCW Title Match: The Sanderman (D) vs. Yamamoto Tanaka (R)
MATCHES SIGNED ALREADY FOR NOVEMBER’S PCW EXTREME ELECTION NIGHT 2012:
Ohio- Sherrod Brown (D) vs. Josh Mandel (R)
Virginia- George Allen (R) vs. Tim Kaine (D)
Massachusetts- Scott Brown (R) vs. Elizabeth Warren (D)
(1) Daniel-San defeats Brad Company
Company, still waiting for the PCW Super Court to render its decision concerning health care, falls victim to the Labell Lock. Post match, John Creese and the Cobra Conservatives attack Daniel-San again.
Mrs. Miyagi and Halitosis race down to make the save again. But then…
Tom Tebow- Tim Tebow’s long lost, black sheep brother
Tebow and suspended St. Louis Rams Defensive Co-ordinator Gregg Williams hit the ring and attack Halitosis. Williams throws Mrs. Miyagi from the ring and Tebow then uses a lead pipe on Halitosis’s knee. Then he blasts him in the head with the lead pipe and then leaves with Williams after collecting a bounty from Creese and the Cobra Conservatives.
PCW Competition Committee Meeting
Pelosi makes the case that the stipulation giving Miss USA her title shot this Thursday night should be vacated. Predictably, John Boehner (R-OH) is against it. They vote and defeat Pelosi’s measure largely along party lines.
Undaunted, KRC vows to take it to the PCW Executive Committee.
Suave talks about the recent controversy involving Pippa Middleton and the driver of a car she was riding pointing a gun at paparazzi.
M de Soultrait: “Pippa is a very good friend of mine and this gun affair is very silly. It was a children’s toy that the driver had in his car. Pippa thought it was funny. It is fine in France to do that and the police are not investigating,”
Suave: Ahhhh. That explains France’s performance against the Germans in World War 2- toy guns.
Then famed rocker, ‘The Motor City Madman’ Ted Nugent strolled out with the other members of Politically Incorrect.
Nugent says the whole French thing is overblown and another reason that if Barack Obama is still the PCW CEO after November, he will be dead or in jail.
Suave: Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Nugent: Our CEO, and legal counsel, our second in command, Hillary Clinton — they’re all criminals. We’re Americans because we defied the king. … We are patriots, we are bravehearts. We need to ride into that battlefield and chop their heads off in November like those Frenchy types did during the French Revolution.
Suave calls Nugent’s comments ‘strong’ (a vertiable understatement) and wonders if that will get the attention of PCW Secret Security force.
Box Suite Above the Arena
PCW Secret Security parties hard with members of the GSA. Even Hillary Clinton (D-NY) is there swigging beers and dancing around.
Suave: Or maybe not…
(2) PCW Tag Team Non-Title Match: Scott Walker’s Rangers: The Walker Brothers- Ronnie and John (R) def. Tag Team Champions Big Union: ‘The Self Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker
Post match, both teams continue to brawl with Ronnie Walker and James the Jeep Worker fighting into the crowd while John Walker and Big Labor fought in the ring.
PCW Executive Committee Meeting
Harry Reid makes the case to vacate the stipulation giving Miss USA her title shot Thursday night. But the Republicans filibuster the measure and the Democrats can’t get the 60 votes needed to stop it.
KRC angrily walks out of the room.
PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein talks with Miss USA about the upcoming match. Miss USA tells Bernstein that she’s going to prove that a woman can be a mother and hold a career and the two don’t have to be mutually exclusive.
Ann Romney walks out to join the conversation. Mrs. Romney offers to be in Miss USA’s corner Thursday night. Bernstein notes that Hilary Rosen (D) is going to be in KRC’s corner for the match.
Miss USA turns Ann Romney down and says she doesn’t want to make this a political battle. Besides, she’s got all the back up she needs in…
The Three Stooges Appear
Larry (Sean Hayes), Curly (Will Sasso) and Moe (Chris Diamantopoulos) come out and entertain the crowd with their eye gouges, the nyuk nyuks, the open handed slaps and the other forms of physical comedy. Suave wonders if the Three Stooges movie can unseat ‘The Hunger Games at the box office.
Jennifer Lawrence (Katniss in the movie ‘The Hunger Games’) walks out and whips out her bow and shoots three arrows striking each Stooge. The trio fall to the ground.
Suave: Guess that’s a no.
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Brought to you by the same demented bunch behind Political Championship Wrestling and not bought and paid for by big corporations or either political party, Jesusland vs. Progressiveville is a political satire that would be f#$@ing hilarious if parts of the book wasn’t painfully true about the abject dysfunction in American politics.
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Back in the ring, Suave talks with Mitt Romney and Yamamoto Tanaka. Romney says he is going to introduce the new face of PCW—a man who will carry the PCW banner for years to come. The crowd boos as Tanaka raises his hands.
Tanaka, through an interpretor, thanks Romney and gets more boos from the audience. Romney says Tanaka brings legitimacy back to PCW and he’s immediately interrupted by the PCW Champion The Sanderman (D).
The Sanderman doesn’t even bother with pleasantries as he charges Tanaka and a brawl ensues. Romney bails as both men unload on each other. PCW Security hits the ring to separate the two as the show ends.
Filed under: 2012 Election, Average Joe, Barack Obama, Blogs- Pro Wrestling, democrats, Hillary Clinton, Independents, joe six pack, Joe the Plumber, Paul Heyman, political satire, political wrestling, Politics, Pro Wrestling, red state, republicans, Small Town America, Third Party, wordpress political blogs Tagged: | Democratic Party (United States), Gregg Williams, John Boehner, Miss USA, Mitt Romney, Nancy Pelosi, Pippa Middleton, Ted Nugent