PCW Extreme Political TV (in NBC Tape Delay)
Monday July 30th, 2012
Host: Johnny Suave
In the event you’re one of the six people on the planet who hasn’t seen this…also via NBC Tape Delay…
Suave: Last night at a PCW Independent House show in Elmira, NY, the PCW Television and Women’s Title was consolidated in a three way dance. Television Champion Dawn McGill, Women’s Champion Miss USA. Last Thursday night on PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN, McGill and Miss USA were booked by Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) to meet Code Pink (D) in a title consolidation match. But McGill and Miss USA turned the tables on Pelosi…
Thursday Night’s PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN
Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) bragged to the Democrats on hand who she was trying to entice into contributing to the DCCC, that Code Pink(D) was going to ‘glitter bomb’ her way to the combined title. But quickly realized she had a problem when PCW Television Champion Dawn McGill, Women’s Champion Miss USA, and Ted E. Dangerously all appeared on a split screen with her- from the old ECW Arena in South Philadelphia, PA.
Pelosi angrily demanded to know why McGill and Miss USA weren’t there for the big match with several Democrats in the audience as special guests.
McGill told Pelosi and Code Pink to relax. McGill said this whole charade that Pelosi booked was for one thing- to get the belts off them and put it on a Democrat to make herself look good. Pelosi disputed her allegation. McGill told her that if they want a shot at the title they can come to one of the PCW Independent shows this weekend and try to get it.
Ted then brought out a six pack of beer and shared a drink with McGill.
Suave: Code Pink arrived at the First Arena in Elmira to accept McGill’s challenge last night.
Outside the arena, a limo pulls up and Code Pink, flanked by Emily S List, Nancy Pelosi, and their entourage exit. The group files through a back door into the arena. A few minutes later, Code Pink and entourage are in the ring.
Code Pink: I hate to interrupt the party but it’s clear that you need an intellectual savior and you all want to hear what I have to say, because to be honest, you all are pretty scuzzy. Dawn McGill and Miss USA were booked to face me last Thursday night and they failed to show up. I should not accept this crass conduct and show up in this dump just because Ms. McGill laid down the challenge. But, it’s clear that you idiots needs some guidance and who better to tell you what to think than me. The fact that the women’s belt is on Miss USA- a woman who put her family before her career which stands against everything women should stand for, is a complete joke. McGill, a product of the corrupt military complex, is the television champion- that’s a joke. I’m here, ladies. Let’s-
Both McGill and Miss USA hit the ring simultaneously causing Code Pink to roll out. A referee is in the ring…
PCW TITLE CONSOLIDATION MATCH: PCW Television Champion Dawn McGill vs. PCW Women’s Champion Miss USA vs. Code Pink w/Emily S List (D)
Three way dance with the winner becoming the PCW Women’s Champion.
Code Pink extends her hand to McGill, and slaps her across the face. McGill rocks Code Pink with a right hand and pins her against the ropes. She chokes her with her forearm. Miss USA comes up from behind and hits a reverse neckbreaker. McGill back up…shoulder tackle to Miss USA. Code Pink tackles McGill to the mat. Miss USA punches Code Pink repeatedly.
Walking down the ramp to the ring is Andy ‘The Foul Pole’ Golatta (D)…
…accompanied by Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) and the President of the National Organization of Women Terry O’Neill (D). Golatta immediately interjects himself into the match by pulling Miss USA off Code Pink and tossing her across the ring.
McGill tackles Code Pink. Golatta plants McGill with a running powerbomb and leaves the ring. Miss USA rolls a back fist across Code Pink’s jaw. Emily S List tackles her- Miss USA gets to all fours and mule kicks List in the mommy parts.
Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”
Miss USA measures List up and drops a closed fist before literally kicking her out of the ring. Both Pelosi and NOW President O’Neill jump up onto the apron before wisely backing away when McGill wanders over.
Miss USA powerslams Code Pink. Miss USA clotheslines McGill. McGill hits Miss USA with a heart punch. Miss USA whips McGill into the ropes- shoulder tackle. Miss USA hooks the leg…1 …2 McGill escapes when Code Pink of all people makes the save.
Shoulder tackle by Code Pink sends Miss USA down. Pink picks her up in a fireman’s carry and flapjacks her. Code Pink locks Miss USA in the odd octopus hold. McGill makes the save.
Miss USA slaps on the reverse chin lock on Code Pink. The referee checks the situation as Pink is in big trouble. Golatta in the ring with a chair
Down goes Miss USA. Code Pink escapes. McGill runs over and Golatta vertical suplexes her to the mat. Pink covers Miss USA…1…2..3.
Miss USA eliminated.
Down to Dawn McGill and Code Pink and it hits the fan. The American Heartland Coalition (Charlie Blackwell and Mike the Mechanic) come to the ring with Ted E. Dangerously.
The new PCW Blue Belt champion decks McGill and rains down punches. Ted delivers a kick to the head of Golatta. Golatta sends Ted into the corner, lifts up McGill, and drops her on her shoulder. Triple R lifts McGill…PILEDRIVER! Golatta tosses Blackwell. Golatta cocks his right hand…FOUL POLE! Mike the Mechanic doubles over from the errant punch to the balls. Triple R bounces Mike off the ropes and faceslams him to the mat. Golatta tosses Mike from the ring.
Code Pink in control now. She sends McGill to the corner. Pink reaches into her pocket…GLITTER BOMB! Code Pink for the cover! 1…2…WHAT!
Suave: GOLATTA JUST PULLED CODE PINK OFF McGILL! TRIPLE R CAN’T BELIEVE IT!
Neither can Emily S. List who hops into the ring to confront Golatta. List pushes Golatta; Golatta pushes her down.
Suave: WHAT IS GOING ON? FIRST, GOLATTA IS HELPING CODE PINK. NOW, HE’S HELPING-
The crowd stood as a photo of the phenomenon known as Jill-Berg (R) appeared on the video screen.
Suave: IT’S JILL-BERG!
The door opened and four large male bodybuilding types walked out of the dressing room while Jill Berg’s assistant furiously scribbled down notes
Jill Berg hits the ring from the crowd. She rolls in…
Suave: BUZZSAW KICK TO CODE PINK. SPEAR TO EMILY S LIST!
JILLLL-BERG chants start. Golatta turns to Triple R. He rears back with his right hand…FOUL POLE!
Suave: HOLY CRAP!
Triple R drops to his knees and crumples over. Jill Berg covers McGill. 1…2…3. Berg covers Code Pink.
Suave: I DON’T BELIEVE IT!
Pelosi and O’Neill try to get into the ring but Golatta blocks their way. 1…2…3!
WINNER @ 21:05 AND NEW PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION: Jill Berg (R)
Suave: But the question on everyone’s mind? Why did Andy Golatta switch?
In Poland, Romney Endorsed by Lech Walesa- Seattle Times
In Gdansk, Romney was endorsed by former Polish President Lech Walesa, who led the Solidarity anti-government movement in the 1980s.
Golatta: If he’s good enough for Lech Walesa, he’s good enough for me.
Suave: So what’s the fallout? PCW CEO Barack Obama issued an executive order earlier today (Monday) that Jill Berg will face Code Pink on August 15th at PCW Night of Champions for the Women’s title.
McGill pulls herself up as Berg and her entourage leave the ring with the women’s belt. Pelosi, O’Neill, and List, still in shock and awe at what happened, follow suit.
The ring is now empty save McGill and the PCW Television Title belt. She picks up the belt and looks at it. McGill gestures to a ring tech who promptly scurries off to the back. She then asks for a microphone.
McGill: I recognize that PCW is dominated by two distinct factions- Republicans and Democrats. I realize that the political reality of this system is that Republicans and Democrats are going to dominate PCW. I know there’s a heated contest ongoing to become the next PCW CEO between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney. Tensions are high.
She raised the television belt in the air.
McGill: In my hands, I have the PCW Television Title belt- a title that just went out of commission. Now, if I were the good little employee and followed the company talking points about what went down tonight, I’d mutter some generic platitude about being proud to have been the last TV champion and will work to win another title belt in PCW- I DON’T THINK SO!
Charlie Blackwell and Mike the Mechanic of the American Heartland Coalition, Average Joe and ‘Tin Cup’ Ray McAvay from the Tea Party, Miss USA and the rest of the independents all surround the ring.
The ring tech makes his way through and tosses McGill a Sharpie and some masking tape.
McGill: Ladies and gentlemen, there are good people in this room who’ve been left behind as Democrats and Republicans both run PCW at their expense. They don’t want two parties to dominate PCW against the greater good. They don’t want political gamesmanship to trump doing what’s right for everyone. They don’t want PCW partisanship to keep them off the Red Brand and Blue Brand tours and away from opportunities to win title belts. If this is the path that both factions lead us, then the Democrats and Republican can both KISS MY ASS!
The crowd roars when McGill throws the former television title belt on the mat. McGill kneels and puts masking tape on the belt. Then she takes the sharpie and writes on it.
McGill: Let the Republicans and Democrats take their titles. Tonight is a night that I draw a line in the sand. Tonight, I start a revolution that will bring back common sense to PCW and stop putting Democrats and Republicans above all else. Tonight, let the new era begin: the era of a PCW of the people, by the people, and for the people. The era of the PCW Heartland Title!
She raised the title belt with PCW Heartland champion written on the masking tape covering up ‘television champion.’
McGill: This is the only title that matters. The ‘People’s’ title. The PCW Heartland Title!
McGill puts the belt around her waist. The other independent wrestlers outside the ring clap their hands as the show ends.
Filed under: 2012 Election, Average Joe, Barack Obama, conservative, Democratic Party, democrats, Independents, joe six pack, Joe the Plumber, Libertarian, Paul Heyman, political satire, political wrestling, Politics, Pro Wrestling, progressive, red state, Republican Party, republicans, Small Town America, Tea Party, Third Party, White House, wordpress political blogs Tagged: | C-SPAN, Call Me Maybe, code pink, Heartland, Miss USA, Nancy Pelosi, NBC Tape Delay