PCW Extreme Political TV Recap
Monday August 6th, 2012
Host: Johnny Suave
The show opened with Suave running down the card for next week’s PCW Night of Champions:
Women’s Title Match:
Women’s Champion Jill Berg (R) vs. Code Pink (D)
PCW Title Match:
PCW Champion The Sanderman (D) vs. ‘The Japanese SuperDestroyer’ Yamamoto Tanaka (R)
Last Thursday Night on PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN
Obama wants to know who Dawn McGill thinks she is. The belt belongs to PCW and he intends to get it back. Obama brings out Eric Holder and the Department of Justice (D). Holder pledges to retrieve the old Television belt back from McGill and tells the DoJ to go after her.
Obama tells Holder to wait and brings out some additional muscle in the form of the Chicago Boss Squad: Charlie Ranck and Pete Fyle (D). Holder, the DoJ, and the CBS then leave.
The crowd boos as Eric Holder and the Department of Justice (D), The Chicago Boss Squad (D), Daniel-San (D), and Bain (D) all walk out. Holder says they’ve come to this glorified bingo hall with one thing in mind- the retrieval of the former PCW Television Title belt.
Holder says “Heartland Champion” Dawn McGill can have do it the easy way or the hard way. She can either do the right thing and return the title belt or the DoJ, CBS, Daniel-San and Bain will tear this place apart looking for it.
(1) Halitosis- ‘The Insanely Foul Breathing Luchador’ w/Mrs. Miyagi def. SNAFU
Halitosis and Mrs. Miyagi
After some good action, SNAFU locked Halitosis in the Cobra Clutch. Mrs. Miyagi ran in and paintbrushed SNAFU. Then Halitosis used his dreaded ‘breath of death’ and scored the pin.
The DoJ and Chicago Boss Squad stand over a laid out Tom Tebow- Tim Tebow’s Long Lost Black Sheep Brother and ‘Sparkly Vampire’ Edward Collen.
They leave the pair in a heap on the floor. Seconds later, Kristen Stewart runs up to Collen and tearfully apologizes for her affair with the director of Snow White and the Huntsman- that is until she realizes it’s not Robert Pattinson on the floor.
Stewart kicks him in the balls for good measure and skulks off.
(2) Dan Van Dam vs. Baron Von Munchke of the Old School Kings
PCW Blue Brand Champion
Road Rage Randy (Triple R) (D)
Triple R (D) is also in the building tonight. He hits the ring and destroys them with cane shots and that’s the match. He’s pissed about what happened last Thursday night in London. He blames moderate Democrats for not ‘nutting’ up and having his back to stop PCW Red Brand Champion Yamamoto Tanaka (R) from hitting the Japanese SuperDestroyer on him.
The DoJ and CBS continue to leave a path of destruction in the independent’s locker room. Mitch Thomas- American Taxpayer and Brad Company are lying on the floor along with the Tea Party’s Average Joe and ‘Tin Cup’ Ray McAvay.
(3) Miss USA vs. ‘The King of Old School Sales’ Steve Torino
This one doesn’t get off the ground because the DoJ and CBS hit the ring and destroy Torino. Miss USA had least had the good sense to get out of Dodge when she saw trouble coming.
Finally, Heartland Champion Dawn McGill…
…comes to the ring with Charlie Blackwell and Mike the Mechanic, Andrea Doria and the Politically Incorrect (NRA, Nic Koteen, and Al Cahall).
McGill holds up the PCW Television…I mean…the Heartland Title belt and glares at the DoJ. She calls the DoJ ‘lackeys’ sent here to do the ‘dirty work’ for PCW management. McGill tells them they’ve got their own show on Thursday nights but yet they come here to ruin the independent’s show? It just goes to show how Democrats and Republicans don’t respect anything more than their own selfish self-interest.
Eric Holder walks out and tells McGill to hand over the belt…or else. McGill tells Holder to come and get it. The DoJ attack and it’s on.
(4) The Department of Justice and Chicago Boss Squad (D) vs. Heartland Champion Dawn McGill, Charlie Blackwell, Mike the Mechanic, and Al Cahall
After a solid opening that actually almost featured actual wrestling, the match spills into the crowd. McGill dives into the pile and they brawl into the concession area. Blackwell gets busted open. The DoJ run wild. Mike the Mechanic fights off Pete Fyle of the CBS but is distracted and gets jumped by a returning Daniel-San and Bain (D).
Bain BELLY TO BELLY on Mike and throws him into the guardrail. Bain drops Mike onto the ring announcer’s table and brings in several chairs. Bain drills Mike with a chair and busts him open. Miss USA runs out and Patriot Missile dropkicks Bain’s leg. Holder taunts the booing crowd who suddenly cheers when Miss USA blast Bain with the chair. Bain then throws Miss USA out into the crowd.
Blackwell goes up to the balcony and dives off onto DoJ 1 on the floor. Blackwell hits him with a beer cup and nails him with a chair twice.
Charlie Ranck hits a Drop Toehold on McGill and drives her into the turnbuckle. The DoJ dumps Blackwell and Mike the Mechanic over the top rope through the table below. Al Cahall then gets tossed out. McGill up but she gets speared by DoJ 2.
Fans chant “Jill Berg?” Not in the building tonight.
Holder back in the ring and tells Daniel-San to go get the belt. McGill tries to get up but DoJ 1 throws her back down. Daniel-San retrieves the belt and Holder tells him to bring it over to him. Daniel-San looks at the belt and Holder again tells him to bring the belt to him. Daniel-San eventually walks over to Holder- and blasts him in the face with the belt!
Suave: HOLY CRAP!
Daniel-San goes nuts and mows through DoJ 1 and 2, Ranck and Fyle, and then Bain. Blackwell, Mike the Mechanic, Cahall, and the rest of Politically Incorrect back in the ring now. Daniel-San takes the microphone.
Daniel-San: From this point forward, you can call me William Bryan. Daniel-San is no more. It is for the common man that I make my stand here tonight. They do not come as aggressors. Their war is not a war of conquest; they are fighting in the defense of our homes, our families, and posterity. They have petitioned, and their petitions have been scorned; they have entreated, and their entreaties have been disregarded; they have begged, and were mocked when their calamity came. We beg no longer; we entreat no more; we petition no more. We defy them!
Bryan pointed at Holder and held up the gold belt.
Bryan: We defy you! Having behind us the masses of this nation who support PCW, the laboring interests, and the toilers everywhere, we answer your demand for the return of this golden belt by saying to you: “You shall not press down upon the brow of labor this crown of thorns; you shall not crucify mankind for a belt of gold.”
Bryan threw the belt down at Holder’s feet and then placed his hands to his temples with his fingers extended. Then he extended his arms to his sides straight out to his body and held the pose for several seconds while the audience watched in dead silence.
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