PCW Politics is War Recap
Thursday August 9th, 2012
RICHMOND, VA — Democrats unveiled their new wrestler Romney Hood (D) last night on PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN but it was actor Zach ‘The Candidate’ Galifianakis who provided the distraction as Hood and Bain (D)…
Bain- a business created by Bain & Company, uses its extensive network, sector expertise and business screening capabilities to identify attractive small to mid-cap investment opportunities for its private equity investment partners.
…defeated the well-financed Coke Brothers (R) in Thursday night’ s main event. PCW Executive Committee Chair Harry Reid (D-NV) also lent some interference…
[David Coke gouges Bain's eyes and takes him down. Reid jumps into the ring and distracts him. Romney Hood hiptosses D. Coke. He gets drilled with an inverted back breaker and then Bain tiger suplexes him. Charles Coke hits a jumping neck snap on Hood. But Bain hits a huge gutbuster on Charles and then uses a swinging DDT to plant David's head into the mat.
Zach Galfianakisi at the ring now and for some unexplicable reason the Cokes are jawing at him. Hood blasts David with a chair. Bain covers...1...2...3]
With Democrat Claire McCaskill on hand to see who she’ll be facing off against at PCW Extreme Election Night 2012, the match saw both Brunner and Steelman dominate the action while Akin hung back and stayed clear. Brunner frustrated both Akin and Steelman with his tactics but first ‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin (R-AK) ran in to assist Steelman. Then Mike Huckabee (R-AR) ran in and helped tip the balance to Akin in the end.
Akin now faces McCaskill at PCW Extreme Election Night in November.
Shays has the experience. McMahon has (NOTE: reported without violating WWE trademarks!)…
[...here comes Triple...er McMahon's son-in-law Paul Levesque! Shays tries to get out of Dodge. Triple...er...Levesque grabs him...bends him forward...double underhooks the arms...PEDI-...we mean...DOUBLE UNDERHOOK FACEBUSTER!...]
McMahon back in action…she goes for a knockout kick. Blumenthal ducks, spins her around, and slaps on the sleeper hold.
Suave- SLEEPER! SLEEPER HOLD!
McMahon tries to reach the ropes but Blumenthal keeps her right in the center of the ring.
Suave- McMAHON’S IN TROUBLE! SHE’S TOO FAR FROM THE ROPES…Oh, no.
Levesque pulls out a sledgehammer and climbs up on the apron behind Blumenthal. He climbs into the ring and raises the sledgehammer. Levesque swings…Blumenthal ducks at the last second…and McMahon gets it.
Suave- HOLY CRAP!
Levesque can’t believe it. Mrs. Levesque can’t believe it. McMahon’s out cold. Blumenthal makes the cover…one…two…three.
WINNER: Richard Blumenthal (D) @ 11:49
Levesque checks on Linda. Then he glares at Blumenthal who wisely decides to make haste to the back.
Current TV’s Al Gore (D-TN) made an appearance Thursday night in his own imitable way…
[*Fleetwood Mac‘s “Don’t Stop” begins to play*
‘The Extreme Environmental Hardcore Icon’ Al Gore (D)
Suave: “IT’S HIM! HE’S HERE! THE TREE HUGGIN’, MOCHA CHUGGIN’, TOBACCO COMPANY BUGGIN’ ALPHA MALE AND ENVIROMENTAL EXTREME HARDCORE ICON…
The crowd sings the chorus “Don’t stop, thinking about tomorrow.” Gore holds up his mocha, inside an environmentally friendly biodegradable container of course, and chugs it down. Then he spews it out of his mouth into the crowd and then crushes the paper container on his forehead in a manly fashion.
The Environmental Extreme Hardcore Icon walks down the steps to the main floor. At the bottom of the steps, Gore pulls out another container of mocha, guzzles it down, spews it into the crowd, and then smashes the container on his forehead. Gore then wades through the main floor crowd to the ring. He climbs up on the apron, pulls out yet another cup of mocha, guzzles that one down, spews it into the crowd, and then smashes the container on his forehead.
Gore in the ring.
Gore: “I’m pleased to be participating in Current TV’s impressive lineup throughout the Republican and Democratic national conventions.
And with that, Gore leaves.
Suave: “And that was a lot about nothing…”
Other happenings on the show:
William Daniels Bryan and the PCW Independent/Non-Aligned contingent invaded the show and took to the ring. Bryan then asked a series of questions to the crowd about the Democrats and Republicans and answered them all by shouting “NO…NO…NO!” Bryan then repeated that the partisans on both sides will not crucify average Americans and PCW workers upon a ‘belt of gold’- again placing his hands to his temples with his fingers extended and extending his arms to his sides straight out to his body- holding the pose for several seconds.
Both Obama and Romney camps brainstorm on ways and ideas to attract the Independents and persuade them to join their cause.
-Obama decides to go on a full guns, personal assault on Romney.
-And Romney goes full guns, personal assault on Obama’s full guns, personal assault on him.
Suave: “And people wonder why the frustration with both parties are at an all time high.”
Republican strategists also met with Romney to go through his final short list for his aide de camp: Tim Pawlenty (R-MN), Chris Christie (R-NJ), Paul Ryan (R-WI), Rob Portman (R-OH) and Bobby Jindal (R-LA).
The Jersey Boyz (Vinnie and Frankie) w/Christie in their corner def. Sam Ford and Son. Sam Ford went Fred Sanford and tried to fake a heart attack in the ring- Vinnie and Frankie spiked him with the Greetings from Asbury Park (double over the shoulder reverse piledriver) for the win.
Even with the Jersey Boyz impressive win, the Republican Establishment came out of a meeting with Romney talking about Portman and Ryan.
‘King of Labor’ Richard Trumka vowed to put 300,000 union feet on the ground to help Big Union (Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker) regain the PCW Tag Team Title belts from Scott Walker (R-WI) and his Rangers (Ronnie and John Walker).
Then Trumka watched as Big Union defeated the Main Street Mafia (Brian King and Russ Smith with help from Larry the Longshoreman.
PCW Women’s Champion Jill Berg (R) and Miss USA vs. Code Pink and Emily S List goes to a no contest due to interference on all sides. Code Pink does manage to hit Berg with a Glitter Bomb in the post match fracas before PCW Security finally separated both sides.
Big Oil (R) destroyed Average Joe and then celebrated the rising gasoline prices that was ‘putting more money into his pockets.’
PCW Champion The Sanderman (D) tuned up for his title defense against ‘Japanese SuperDestroyer’ Yamamoto Tanaka (R) by defeating Jobber the Hut.
Final PCW Night of Champions Card for Wednesday Night’s Big Show:
Women’s Title Match:
Women’s Champion Jill Berg (R) vs. Code Pink (D)
PCW Title Match:
PCW Champion The Sanderman (D) vs. ‘The Japanese SuperDestroyer’ Yamamoto Tanaka (R)
Red Brand Shows This Weekend:
Saturday- Norfolk, VA
-BIG MITT ROMNEY ANNOUCEMENT!
Sunday- Huntington, WV
Blue Brand Shows This Weekend:
Saturday- Albany, NY
Sunday- Philadelphia, PA
Independent/Non-Aligned Shows This Weekend:
Saturday- Marion, OH
Sunday- Chillicothe, OH
Filed under: 2012 Election, Average Joe, Barack Obama, conservative, Democratic Party, democrats, Independents, Joe the Plumber, Libertarian, Paul Heyman, political satire, political wrestling, Politics, Pro Wrestling, progressive, red state, Republican Party, republicans, Sarah Palin, Small Town America, Tea Party, Third Party, White House, wordpress political blogs Tagged: | Al Gore, Bain, Bain & Company, Linda McMahon, Richard Blumenthal, Sarah Steelman, Vince McMahon, Zach Galifianakis