PCW Night of Champions
Wednesday August 15th, 2012
Host: Johnny Suave
Suave runs down the card one last time:
Women’s Title Match:
Women’s Champion Jill Berg (R) vs. Code Pink (D)
PCW Title Match:
PCW Champion The Sanderman (D) vs. ‘The Japanese SuperDestroyer’ Yamamoto Tanaka (R)
No background needed here. Two bitter rivals who despise each other in a tag team war.
The bell rings and Big Labor clotheslines John Walker. Big Labor whips John off the ropes and hits him with a diving shoulder block. James the Jeep Worker tags in for the Democrats and locks up with John Walker. James the Jeep Worker sends John to the corner of the ring and misses the elbow. Big Labor tags back in and tackles John Walker to the mat. Big Labor rains punches down. Ronnie Walker runs in and gets clotheslined…
…Suave: “It has been every bit the free for all we thought this would be. Trumka has interjected himself into the match repeatedly and the Coke Brothers (R) and their endless amount of cash have run in and are brawling with Bain and Romney Hood (D). Both teams are taking it to the political extreme!”
Big Labor punches Ronnie Walker repeatedly. Whip into the ropes, Big Labor shoulder tackles Ronnie and tags in James the Jeep Worker. James the Jeep Worker with the arm wringer. Ronnie Walker squirms out and tags John Walker in. John Walker with the gutbuster. James the Jeep Worker pokes the eyes and tags Big Labor back in. Big Labor roars in and shoulder tackles John Walker. Big Labor lifts Ronnie…SCABBUSTER! Cover…1…2…NO! Ronnie gets the shoulder up. Big Labor covers again…1…2…NO! Again the shoulder gets up in time. . James the Jeep Worker in. He does a cartwheel and kicks Ronnie Walker in the face. Cover by Big Labor…1…2…NO!…
…Suave: “BOTH TEAMS IN THE RING! BOTH DEMOCRATS AND REPUBLICAN LEADERS CROWD THE OUTSIDE OF THE RING!
Big Labor shoulder tackles Ronnie Walker. Big Labor lifts…SCABBUSTER! Cover…1…2…HUH?
A masked man pulls the referee out of the ring.
Suave: “WHO THE HELL IS-”
He pulls off the mask- it’s Paul Ryan (R-WI).
Suave: “HOLY CRAP! PAUL RYAN MAKES THE SAVE!”
Big Labor yells at Ryan and walks into a Ronnie Walker uppercut. Jawbreaker on Big Labor. Evenflow DDT by Ronnie Walker. Cover…1…2 ..3.
Suave: “THEY RETAIN! SCOTT WALKER’S RANGERS RETAIN!
WINNER AND STILL PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Scott Walker’s Rangers: Ronnie and John Walker (R) @ 17:06
The Democrats are furious and berate the referee.
Mitt Romney (R-MA) Promo
Romney says he wants to take this opportunity to reintroduce himself to Political Championship Wrestling and make the case for him to become the next PCW CEO.
Romney the reason he is the best candidate for PCW CEO is because Obama is anti-business and responsible for the exploding debt. He says that Robin Hood politics of income redistribution that Obama favors are bad and that raising taxes on just the wealthiest is even worse even if they’re more able to absorb the increase than middle America would.
Romney: “If the most successful, wealthiest people in our country can’t thrive and prosper, how can any of the benefits trickle down to middle America?”
Recap of run up to Women’s Match
7/30-PCW Extreme Political TV
PCW Women’s Champion Miss USA vs. PCW Television Champion Dawn McGill vs. Code Pink (D) in title consolidation match
Code Pink in control now. She sends McGill to the corner. Pink reaches into her pocket…GLITTER BOMB! Code Pink for the cover! 1…2…WHAT!
Suave: GOLATTA JUST PULLED CODE PINK OFF McGILL! TRIPLE R CAN’T BELIEVE IT!
Neither can Emily S. List who hops into the ring to confront Golatta. List pushes Golatta; Golatta pushes her down.
Suave: WHAT IS GOING ON? FIRST, GOLATTA IS HELPING CODE PINK. NOW, HE’S HELPING-
The crowd stood as a photo of the phenomenon known as Jill-Berg (R) appeared on the video screen…
Suave: BUZZSAW KICK TO CODE PINK. SPEAR TO EMILY S LIST!
JILLLL-BERG chants start. Golatta turns to Triple R. He rears back with his right hand…FOUL POLE!
Suave: HOLY CRAP!
Triple R drops to his knees and crumples over. Jill Berg covers McGill. 1…2…3. Berg covers Code Pink.
Suave: I DON’T BELIEVE IT!
Pelosi and O’Neill try to get into the ring but Golatta blocks their way. 1…2…3!
WINNER @ 21:05 AND NEW PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION: Jill Berg (R)
(2) PCW WOMEN’S TITLE MATCH
PCW Women’s Champion Jill Berg (R) vs. Code Pink (D)
Code Pink already in the ring. She’s accompanied to the ring by Emily S. List, Nancy Pelosi (D-CA), and NOW President Terry O’Neill (D).
The crowd stood as a photo of the phenomenon known as Jill-Berg (R) appeared on the video screen.
Suave: IT’S JILL-BERG!
The door opened and four large male bodybuilding types walked out of the dressing room while Jill Berg’s assistant furiously scribbled down notes
Jill Berg charges in from the crowd and gets nailed with a charging axhandle bodyblock from…DAWN McGILL?
Suave: “IT’S THE HEARTLAND CHAMPION DAWN McGILL!
McGill drops Berg with a Gorilla Press Slam. Code Pink slides out of the ring and goes right for McGill. McGill legsweeps Code Pink and then follows with the slingshot facebuster and slams Pink’s face to the floor. Emily S List races over. McGill grabs a chair…*WHAP*…down goes List. Jill-Berg’s bodyguards attack…*WHAP* *WHAP* *WHAP* *WHAP* …and are left lying on the floor.
Pelosi and O’Neill scream at McGill. McGill raises the chair and takes a step towards both women- who decide to withdraw to safer pastures. McGill grabs Berg and throws her into the ring. She makes the cover…no count by the referee.
Suave: “Wait a minute! Didn’t McGill lose the title consolidation match in the same way? Why isn’t he counting?”
McGill yells at the referee and then slaps on the Katahajime. Berg desperately tries to escape but she finally taps…but the referee doesn’t acknowledge it. Pelosi and O’Neill on the ring apron. McGill jumps up and grabs the chair and chases them back to the floor. She turns to the referee and demands to know why he’s not making the count?
Suave: “WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? McGILL LOST THE TITLE THE SAME WAY!”
Finally, McGill blasts the referee with the chair. Andy ‘The Foul Pole’ Golatta (R) runs down. He slides into the ring and rushes McGill. Kick to the balls. *WHAP*
She goes over to the ring table where the Women’s belt is. McGill grabs it. The ring tech refuses to give it up. *WHAP*
McGill grabs the belt and heads to the back.
Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”
McGill goes to the back and sees a number of representatives of various special interest groups (both Democrat and Republican) milling about backstage. *WHAP* *WHAP* *WHAP* *WHAP* *WHAP* *WHAP*
Suave: “SHE’S LOST IT! SHE’S SNAPPED AND NOW SHE’S TAKING OUT SPECIAL INTEREST GROUPS LEFT AND RIGHT!”
*WHAP* *WHAP* *WHAP* *WHAP* *WHAP* *WHAP*
After an unscheduled commercial break, Suave is in the ring and announces that because the PCW Women’s match did not take place that another match would be shown in its place.
(3) Linda McMahon (R) vs. Christopher Shays (R)
Taped from earlier in the night, McMahon and her well financed team take on an experienced political wrestler in Shays.
…McMahon whips Shays into the corner…Levesque with the boot! He’s in the ring…PEDI-…er…DOUBLE UNDERHOOK FACEBUSTER! McMahon covers…1…2…3.
WINNER: Linda McMahon (R) @ 1:15
It’ll be McMahon versus Chris Murphy (D) at PCW Extreme Election Night 2012 coming up in November.
Barack Obama (D-IL) Promo
Obama expresses his thanks for the opportunity to tell PCW why he should be given a second term as CEO. He says that Mitt Romney is a successful businessman and the last thing we need is a successful businessman in charge of PCW. Romney doesn’t care about people like he cares about people and rich people should be happy to surrender more of their income in taxes because they’re nothing more than greedy bloodsuckers who make money and build businesses thanks to the federal government.
Joe ‘The Big F’n Deal’ Biden (D-DE) tells Eric Holder and the Department of Justice that nothing better happen during the PCW Title Match because ‘the Republicans would put y’all back in chains.’
(4) PCW TITLE MATCH:
PCW Champion The Sanderman (D) vs. ‘The Japanese SuperDestroyer’ Yamamoto Tanaka (R)
During the introductions, William Daniels Bryan and Charlie Blackwell lead a group of Independent/Non-Affilated political wrestlers including Mike the Mechanic, Mitch Thomas, and Brad Company to the ring.
Where’s Holder and the DoJ?
Watching as Democrat Doug Wilder and Republican surrogate Artur Davis along with John McCain (R-AZ) and ‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin (R-AK) argue with Biden over what his ‘chains’ remark a few minutes back.
Then PCW CEO Barack Obama and Cory Booker (D-NJ) join in…
Biden says that’s not what he meant and then the argument turns heated as the show ends.
OUTSIDE THE ARENA
Heartland Champion Dawn McGill holds up the PCW Women’s title belt. She said she was screwed out of this very belt over two weeks ago when Jill Berg (R) joined the match in progress and was declared the champion. Tonight, she did the same thing and what- nothing. McGill says Democrats and Republicans both run PCW at the expense of everyone else and again, she is drawing a line in the sand and starting a revolution to bring common sense back to PCW.
McGill: “Want your belt back, Jill? Come get it.”
McGill tosses the Women’s belt into the dumpster and exits as the show ends.
DPAD: Wrestling with Twitter « eOutreach Blog-blog.eoutreach.com/
Joe. My. God.: CONNECTICUT: Wrestling Maven Linda McMahon …-joemygod.blogspot.com/
In Senate Races, Politics Are Local Again – NYTimes.com-fivethirtyeight.blogs.nytimes.com/
McMahon Obliterates Shays for Senate Nod in Connecticut-politicalwire.com/
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