PCW Extreme Political TV Recap
Monday September 10th, 2012
Host: ‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave
*Ten Bell Salute for the upcoming anniversary of 9/11*
Suave in the ring. Tonight, both the Red and Blue Brands are expected to announce their intentions moving forward for the remainder of the run-up to November’s PCW Extreme Election Night 2012. Tonight’s main event is the PCW Title match that took place last week at the Democratic National Convention.
But first, a review of the Red Brand title match between Starz N. Stripes and P.M.C. Banks at the Republican National Convention.
PCW Red Brand Title Match: Starz N. Stripes (R) vs. P.M.C. Banks (R)
…joined in progress. It appeared from the beginning that the Republican Establishment favored Banks and he took control early on. Ron Paul (R-TX) and the New Libertarian Army (Jack and Bull Schmidt) ran in and Jack tried to join the match but was sent to the back by Republican referee J. Michael Mitchell.
Then Code Pink (D), who’d somehow snuck into the building, raced down and tried to Glitter Bomb Banks. But…
The crowd stood as a photo of the phenomenon known as Jill-Berg (R) appeared on the video screen. The PCW Women’s Champion then hit the ring and brawled with Pink all the way to the back.
Next, it was Occupy Wall Street’s Nate, Shane, and Adam who came down to the ring. This time, venerable actor Clint Eastwood, with his empty chair, and several former Olympians came down and beat the OWS back.
Starz made a late comeback and was about to slap on the American Stars and Fujiwara armBar on Banks. The Republican establishment then came to the ring and then Paul Ryan’s Raiders (Nick Ray and Kevin Collins) (R) also arrived. The Raiders distracted the referee long enough to allow Banks to hit his Foreclosure finisher on Starz for the win.
WINNER AND NEW PCW RED BRAND CHAMPION: P.M.C. Banks (R) @ 17:33
The Republican Establishment celebrate while Starz N. Stripes, a PCW stalwart dating back to 2005, walked dejectedly towards the back. A faint “Thank you, Starz” chant could be heard.
Financial Guru Dave Ramsey With Nancy Pelosi (D-CA), Harry Reid (D-NV), John Boehner (R-OH), and Mitch McConnell (R-KY)
Ramsey talked to the group about getting out of debt and described the steps they would have to take in order to not only balance the budget but also pay off the national debt.
Pelosi, Reid, Boehner, and McConnell all returned vacant stares.
Main Street Mafia (Brian King and Russ Smith)
The representatives of Main Street USA came out to complain that they continue to be completely ignored by both the Democrats and Republicans. King says that with the D’s and R’s controlling everything now that the mid and lower card are being left behind. Smith points out the steep increase in gas prices that make it hard for them to get to PCW events and the amount they’d being paid aren’t keeping up.
They’re interrupted by the Extreme Coupon Clipping Gangsta Sweet Jack and that Mayhem guy from the Allstate commercial. Sweet Jack hands Main Street Mafia coupons and then attacks them with various items he’s purchased at a steep discount.
The annoying ‘Sweetjack’ jingle played throughout the impromptu match while Sweet Jack blasts Smith with a Off iPhone Accessories Kit he purchased for 65% off and then nailed King with a blender he bought for half price from the 11:11 Emporium.
Mayhem causes…well, mayhem.
Corporate Might (Republican’s Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit) then interrupt the match. Big Oil spiked King with an Oklahoma Driller. Walstreit hits the Stock Market Plunge on Smith. Sweet Jack tried to give Walstreit a 50% coupon from a restaurant chain- Walstreit tossed it aside and gave him the Stock Market Plunge as well. Mayhem tried to attack Big Oil…Big Oil grabbed him by the throat, lift, choke slam.
WINNER: No contest
Big Oil grabbed the microphone and gloated about the spiking oil prices and that many parts of the country are paying more than $4 per gallon of gas.
Thank you Hurricane Isaac. And thank all of you sheep for your pathetic addiction to your cars.
Big Oil pointed to a cash-filled wheelbarrow brought to ringside. The cash is piled up and overflowing.
Out of nowhere, Independent Heartland Champion Dawn McGill and the former Daniel-San now William Daniels Bryan attack with steel folding chairs. McGill and Bryan decks Big Oil and Walstreit.
McGill referred to Clint Eastwood’s address to the Republican National Convention two weeks back where he talked to an empty chair. She saidtheir chairs may be empty too but at least they’re accomplishing something. She turned and blasted Big Oil and Walstreit again with the steel chair. Then she and Bryan grabbed the cash-filled wheel barrel and started tossing money to the crowd.
More Dave Ramsey
Dave tries to get Pelosi etal to do a debt snowball. It doesn’t work very well when Ramsey rejects a suggestion to just ‘print more money’ and the exercise breaks down to both sides blaming the mounting deficit and national debt on each other.
Main Event: PCW Title Match between Triple R (D) and PCW Champion The Sanderman (D) from the DNC.
Triple R wasted little time in attacking the PCW Champion. The Sanderman came back with left hands and then hit a slingshot somersault press. The Sanderman sent Triple R to the floor and hit a leg drop from the apron. Former PCW Tag Team champions Big Union (Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker) came in and laid the boots to Triple R on the floor. Then they threw him back into the ring.
Back in the ring, Triple R got some help of his own when the Green World Order (‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee and GreenPete) came down to assist. Lee caught The Sanderman with an exploder into the corner. Triple R hit a hurricanrana for a nearfall. He followed with a standing Sliced Bread #2 for another nearfall. The Sanderman reversed and whipped Triple R into the ropes, but Triple R caught him with a neckbreaker: 1…2…NO! Triple R hit a Michinoku Driver: 1…2…NO! Big Labor made the save. Triple R hit a springboard reverse hurricanrana: 1…2…NO! Big Labor again made the save. They went to the top rope. Triple R dropped him on the turnbuckle. Triple R then hit a Yakuza and a Top Rope BRAINBUSTAHHH. The GWO attacked Big Union and Triple made the cover: 1…2…3!
WINNER AND NEW PCW CHAMPION: Triple R (D) @ 14:30
At the end of the show, both Republican Leader Rience Priebus and Democratic Leader Debbie Wasserman-Schultz both left the building extremely upset.
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