Thursday September 13th, 2012
Red Brand Show Highlights
Recap: P.M.C. Banks victory at the Republican National Convention over Starz N. Stripes to win the Red Brand Title.
Recap: Heartland Champion Dawn McGill and populist (the artist formerly known as Daniel-San) William Daniels Bryan attacked Republicans Corporate Might (Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit) Monday night. McGill and Bryan took Corporate Might’s wheelbarrow full of cash and gave all the money to the audience ringside.
Republican Leader Reince Priebus, flanked by billionaires Charles and David Koch (R), denounced the continuing escalation of violence by members of PCW’s low and midcard wrestlers. Priebus announced that the Koch Brothers have volunteered to bankroll a Red Brand show and give PCW fans what they really want to see- good political wrestling without the riff raff…er without the class envy that Heartland Champion Dawn McGill and Populist William Daniels Bryan are spreading.
Eddie the American Eagle and Hallie Burton def. Trailer Park Barbie and Shane of the White Trash Posse in a mixed tag match
Magnum PO’d def. Texas Jack
William Daniels Bryan, brought in by the Republican Establishment for ‘talent enhancement purposes,’ went to upset ‘The Original Rookie Sensation’ Starz N. Stripes (R).
The result clearly angered the powers that be as Bryan was supposed to lose the match to build Starz back up. Starz walked dejectedly to the locker room while Republican officials berated Bryan on his way to the back.
At the end of the Red Brand hour, Priebus, PCW Competition Committee Chair John Boehner (R-OH), Mitch McConnell (R-KY), flanked by Republicans Josh Mandell of Ohio, George Allen (R-VA), Scott Brown (R-MA), Todd Akin (R-MO)…
(even though the others tried to keep their distance from him)
McMann came out and thanked Priebus for the opportunity. Then McGill and Bryan made their appearance and attacked McMann. The Republican candidates quickly scattered and police swooped in immediately to arrest both McGill and Bryan.
McMann got back on the mic and promised to bring a patriotic, ‘family friendly,’ ‘PG’ vibe to PCW- something he’s long since advocated. He said that McGill and Bryan represent an extreme brand of political wrestling and deserve to be barnstorming in the small towns across the country with the rest of the riff raff.
Blue Show Highlights:
Before the Blue Brand show began, Mike Bloomberg (I-NY) personally walked through the crowd and confiscated any soft drink in a container in excess of 16 ounces.
PCW CEO Barack Obama (D-IL), accompanied by former CEO Bill Clinton, arrived to congratulate the new PCW Champion Triple R (D) after his big win at the Democratic National Convention over fellow Democrat The Sanderman.
Triple R never made it to the stage as American Heartland Coalition members Charlie Blackwell and Mike the Mechanic jumped him in the back and laid him out. Obama conferred with Clinton and then sent tag team, the Department of Justice, to the back to track down Blackwell and Mike.
PCW Executive Committee Chair Harry Reid (D-NV) and Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) then sent former PCW champion The Sanderman to the ring. The Sanderman took the mic and tearfully thanked everyone. He completely broke down while thanking his labor support.
‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism, also out there, took the mic and declared while he hates Triple R with a passion he admitted that Triple R winning the PCW title was the right decision because even though Chism said he was the best wrestler in PCW ‘Triple R has the most seniority.’
Chism then wrestled newcomer Brendan Irving in a hotly contested match that ended with a lightning fast three count for the ‘One Man Hollywood A-List.’ Chism got on the mic after the match and shouted ‘SENIORITY!” before heading to the back.
After conferring backstage with Bill Clinton some more, PCW CEO Obama returned to the ring, with Clinton behind him propping him up, and brought out George Soros (D) to announce that the Democrats are also setting up a separate tour.
Obama said that unlike the Republican’s Red Brand tour that will cater to rich elitists, the Democrats are going to brand their tour towards middle class America by also excluding most of the lower/mid card wrestlers including Charlie Blackwell and Mike the Mechanic of the American Heartland Coalition.
It should be an interesting fall.
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