Mudslinging Bad NFL Referees: PCW Extreme Political TV

Last week on PCW:
-”Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin returns and says she’s disgusted with what PCW has become.
-both Obama and Romney blame each other for PCW’s dysfunction.
-newcomer Brendan Irving (D) defeats Dan Van Dam only to get attacked post match by ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) who claims ‘seniority’ over Irving
-another new PCW wrestler, Couch Potato, cleans out a Subway restaurant.
-Heartland Champion Dawn McGill defeats Tom Tebow- Tim Tebow’s long lost, black sheep brother no one knew he had.  After the match, Tebow is attacked by Matt Sanchez- New York Jet Quarterback Mark Sanchez‘s long lost cousin that no one also knew he had, and they brawl.

PCW Extreme Political TV
Reg Lenna Civic Center
Jamestown, NY
Monday, September 24, 2012
Host: Johnny Suave

Johnny Suave in the ring to welcome us to the show.

Sports Entertainment Genius Mr. McMann comes out and talks his stuff about toning down the over the top crap in PCW and making the product PG.

McMann asks that the PCW crowd give his ‘brand’ of political wrestling a chance.  As an enticement, he brings out the PCW Tag Team Champions Ronnie and John Walker aka Scott Walker’s Rangers (R) to wrestle in a match.  But against who???

*The piano part at the beginning of Bad Company‘s ‘Bad Company’ plays over the loudspeaker*

Company
Always on the run
Destiny is the rising sun
Oh I was born 6-gun in my hand
Behind a gun I’ll make my final stand
That’s why they call me

(There’s an obvious overdub of ‘Brad’ over Bad)

*Brad* Company
And I can’t deny
*Brad* Company
Till the day I die
Till the day I die
Till the day I die

Brad Company walks out.  Suave: “So, just who is Brad Company tagging with?  Charlie Blackwell?  Average Joe?

Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah-ah!
Roma-roma-mamaa!
Ga-ga-ooh-la-la!
Want your *Brad* romance

Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah-ah!
Roma-roma-mamaa!
Ga-ga-ooh-la-la!
Want your *Brad* romance

Suave: “Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me.  BRAD Romance??

Out walks Brad Romance as the Lady Gaga smash ‘Bad Romance‘ plays.

I want your love and
I want your revenge
You and me could write a *Brad* romance
(Oh-oh-oh–oh-oooh!)
I want your love and
All your lovers’ revenge
You and me could write a *Brad* romance

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oh!
Caught in a *Brad* romance
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oh!
Caught in a *Brad* romance

Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah-ah!
Roma-roma-mamaa!
Ga-ga-ooh-la-la!
Want your *Brad* romance

(1) PCW Tag Team Title Match:
Scott Walker’s Rangers: Ronnie and John Walker
(R) ©
vs.
Brad Bros: Brad Company and Brad Romance

McMann makes it clear to the Brad Bros that this will NOT be a typical hardcore, extreme political wrestling match.  Brad Romance just flips out and gets in McMann’s face, cursing him out.  Corporate Might’s Big Oil (R) rushes out to restore order and enforce McMann’s edict.  He throws Romance into the corner and they go face to chest.

Then Big Oil drops a clubbing right hand over Romance’s back and drives him to the mat.  He picks Romance up and spikes him with an Oklahoma Driller.

Big Oil grabs Romance from behind and DESTROYS him with  a powerbomb out of the ring through a table.

Suave: “HOLY CRAP! THAT’S NOT PG!”

Big Oil climbs out of the ring and pulls out another table.  He goes to do it again but American Heartland Charlie Blackwell gets in front of him and tells Big Oil to stop.  Big Oil picks Blackwell up by the collar and flings him into the ring steps.

*Def Leppard’s Tear It Down plays*


‘The Extreme Equalizer’ Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

Suave: IT’S THE EXTREME EQUALIZER- WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT!

Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way
Tear it down – I can’t wait another day
Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way
Tear it down – If only you could stay
All night long

McMann tries to stop the ‘Extreme Equalizer’ from getting to the ring because he wasn’t ‘PG’ enough.

Kick to the balls by WTF.  Lift.  Chokeslam.

Crowd: PCW!…PCW!…PCW!…

WTF then called for a table.     But Big Oil hit the ring and attacked WTF.  Big Oil and Whiskey Tango Foxtrot then brawl to the back and the match begins.

With Brad Romance lying in the pieces of the table, the match basically ended up a handicap match.  But early on, Brad Company flew all over the place and held his own against the Walker brothers until they caught him with a back drop into a powerbomb combo.

The Walkers set up Final Elimination on Brad Company but Company somehow escapes.  Hurricaranna for John Walker.  Head Scissors for Ronnie Walker.   Company hits the Bad Company Blast on Ronnie and covers for two.  Suplex by Company still can’t put the Walkers away.

Then out came…


Big Labor (D)

Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D) aka Big Union run out and Big Union and the Walkers beat the ever living crap out of each other for five minutes.

Suave: These two teams aren’t done with each other yet.

After the ring clears, Charlie Blackwell takes the microphone.  Blackwell notes that both Mitt Romney (R-MA) and PCW CEO Barack Obama (D-IL) blamed each other for listless, lackluster direction of PCW.  Blackwell blames both Republicans and Democrats.

“You’ve allowed your big money high rollers (The Koch Brothers- Republican, George Soros- Democrats) to have incredible influence on the direction of PCW at the expense of the mid and lower card wrestlers.”

Blackwell blasted both Democrats and Republicans for running parallel tours and corporate branding themselves to appeal to their bases at the expense of PCW as a whole.

“You and your big money wrestlers may not want to set foot here in Jamestown, New York and other smaller venues across the United States.  But I do.  Heartland Champion Dawn McGill does.  And so does the ‘Populist of PCW’ William Daniels Bryan.”

Backstage
PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein announces that in an effort to tone down the harsh political rhetoric that’s been flying back and forth, PCW Executive Committee Chair Harry Reid (D-NV) and Competition Committee Chair John Boehner (R-OH) will sit down with PCW legend Dr. Bill to try and smooth down the divisiveness.

Suave: “Yeah.  Good luck with that.”

(2) Brendan Irving (D) vs. World B. Peace
Irving showed off awesome agility and speed.  Peace can’t keep up and the young Democrat gets the win.

After the match…


‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism

…hit the ring and leveled Irving with the Hollywood Blockbuster.  Chism then got on the mic and screamed “SENIORITY!” at him before leaving.

Picnic with Reid and Boehner
Dr. Bill takes both men out for a picnic on a gorgeous Fall day.  We then see Reid describing the grass as green.  Boehner corrects him and says the grass is ‘Army green.’  Reid takes exception to that and tells Boehner it’s ‘forest green.’  Boehner calls Reid a liar and it degenerates from there.

(3) Tom Tebow- Tim Tebow’s long lost, black sheep brother no one knew he had
vs.
Matt Sanchez- New York Jet Quarterback Mark Sanchez‘s long lost cousin that no one also knew he had

Last week, Sanchez attacked Tebow after he lost a Heartland title match to Champion Dawn McGill.  This week, they meet in the ring with an NFL Replacement Referee.

Suave: “Yeah.  What could go wrong here?”

After the bell, Tebow told Sanchez he wanted to kick his ass. Sanchez feigned being afraid saying if Tebow really wants to kick his ass he’ll just give him one free shot.   Sanchez spreads his arms.  Tebow thinks about and then moves towards Sanchez who… NAILS TEBOW WITH A BELT!  The referee tries to take it away from Sanchez but for some strange reason could not control the match.

Tebow caught him in a huricanranna off the top with a POWERBOMB.  Tebow moved faster than Sanchez and didn’t mess with pin covers.  Instead, Tebow was brutal with all of his strikes and slams and killed Sanchez’s back for a while.   Sanchez made a super human comeback and then the two brawled around the outside.  The referee counted to forty but both men continued to fight outside the ring.  Sanchez went to dive onto Tebow but Tebow back dropped him into the crowd.

Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”

Then out of nowhere, Sanchez spinebustered Tebow ONTO AN OPEN CHAIR! Both men were down and when Tebow got up, he sat in another chair for a minute. The replacement referee made it up to 60 in the ring with each wrestler making no attempt to get back in.  Sanchez with a springboard lariat on Tebow and then he drug him back over the rail.

They finally got back into the ring at the count of 73.  Tebow hit a superkick on Sanchez.  Tebow hits an insurance policy Powerbomb and covers. The replacement referee counts to two- Sanchez rolls Tebow over before three but the referee blows the call and counts Sanchez out.

Sanchez is irate and berates the referee.  This brings out…Ray Ryan- New York Jet Head Coach Rex Ryan’s long list, never heard of before, third cousin on his father’s side extended and…oh, the hell with it.  Ryan slaps Sanchez and tells both him and Tebow that they’ve got to work together.  He herds them back to the dressing room.

Dinner With Couch Potato
Dr. Bill takes Harry Reid and John Boehner to a diner and meets PCW wrestler Couch Potato there.  Dr. Bill says he wants to try a new therapy.  Reid and Boehner try to order food for the other but it once again dissolves into a bickering match.  While no one looks, Couch Potato orders several entrees from the waitress.  The food arrives later and Couch Potato proceeds to eat his, Reid’s, and Boehner’s meals.

Couch Potato then lets out an earth rattling belch- Reid and Boehner drop their forks in disgust.  Dr. Bill announces a breakthrough.

(4) ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin vs. C.J. Lewis (D)
Great armwork and display of amateur ability by Lewis.   She attempts the Last Call submission numerous times but Tessa always gets away.  Tessa runs off the ropes and then gets clobbered by Democrats Code Pink and Emily S. List.

Pink and List assault Tessa until…

*The opening bars of the Beastie Boys ‘Sabotage’ plays*


Heartland Champion Dawn McGill

McGill powerbombs List and then stalks Code Pink.  She slaps on the Katahajime on Pink.

In the ring, Tessa hits the Pizza Cutter on Lewis.  She covers…

katie collins
Kathryn Randall Collins (D)

Suave: “IT’S KRC!  SHE’S BACK!”

KRC tackles Tessa and they brawl in the ring.

THUMP
THUMP
THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

The crowd roars.

Suave: “THAT’ SOUND!  IT COULD ONLY MEAN ONE PERSON!”

THUMP
THUMP
THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

The video screen goes to just outside a dressing room in the back. A police escort is waiting at the door. One of the policemen knocks on the door.

Policeman – Ms. Berg.   It’s time.

The door opens and four large male bodybuilding types walk out of the dressing room surrounding a petite woman, her male assistant, Jerry, and Daisy Cutter-Bomb.


PCW Women’s Champion Jill Berg (R) w/Daisy Cutter-Bomb

Suave: “IT’S PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION- JILL BERG!”

The crowd chants “JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…

THUMP
THUMP
THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…

The procession emerges from the back and starts their way down the ramp. The male assistant has a microphone and a portable tape recorder.  He flips it on.

JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…

THUMP
THUMP
THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

The group then continues towards the ring leaving the police escort behind.

THUMP
THUMP
THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…

Berg hits the ring and KRC immediately rolls out.

Jill Berg tells KRC not to grandstand and just tell her why she’s back in PCW. KRC admits she’s had issues with relevancy and focus over the past few months. She criticizes Jill Berg’s support of Mitt Romney for PCW CEO.   KRC questions why Jill Berg, one of the more successful female wrestlers out there, supports Romney and wonders if Berg has drunk the proverbial Republican Kool-Aid.  KRC proposes that Jill Berg refind her roots and prove herself against KRC at PCW Extreme Election Night 2012.

Jill Berg craps all over KRC’s speech.  She says KRC and Code Pink and Emily S. List have tried to push a faux ‘war on women’ and now KRC’s trying to latch onto Berg and pull her down to their level.  Berg states she doesn’t care what KRC, Code Pink, or List thinks of her.   She touts her title reign and calls herself a role model for young girls all over the country for working hard and making something of herself by her own sweat and blood.

KRC retorts that she’s successful thanks to PCW…and PCW CEO Barack Obama.

Jill Berg: “PCW didn’t build my success.  Barack Obama didn’t build my success.  I built my own success.”

Berg then accepts KRC’s challenge to meet at PCW Extreme Election Night 2012.

More Boehner-Reid Bonding
Desperate for a break through, Dr. Bill takes Harry Reid and John Boehner to a sports bar to watch some Monday Night Football.

Reid immediately blames Mitt Romney and the Republicans for the replacement referee debacle while Boehner throws it back in the Democrats and big labor’s lap.  Then they spot a mud pit in the middle of the bar.  Apparently, Monday is also women’s mudwrestling night.

Reid and Boehner look at each other and then bolt towards the mud pit.  They jump in and start slinging mud at each other.

Suave: “Figures…”

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