When Sesame Street Attacks Romney: PCW on P-SPAN

Red Brand Show
Denver, CO

Capacity crowd who paid upwards to $500 a seat to watch the show.

The show began with ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann and former WWE Executive now PCW Executive Committee candidate Linda McMahon telling Corporate Might’s Big Oil that he can’t use the Oklahoma Driller finishing move because it’s contrary to the PG, family friendly atmosphere the Republicans are trying to create.

Corporate Might: Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit w/Gordon Guyko def. The Bookworms (Dean Barnes and Kevin Noble)
With the new restrictions in place to tone down the violence, Big Oil had to try a different finisher.  He finally settled on a bear hug and forced Noble to tap.  Big Oil skulked to the back without delivering his trademark taunts about the obscenely high price at the gas pump.

Backstage, the folks at Fox News, Rush Limbaugh, and Ann Coulter all toasted the results from the night before.

Starz N. Stripes def. RINO-The Wonk Machine
Nice win for the long time PCW star.   After the match, ‘The Massachusetts Redblood’ Mitt Romney (R-MA) came to the ring with P.M.C. Banks reveling in how well he did at the first PCW job interview against Barack Obama (D-IL) last night.

Starz and Banks eyed each other as they passed on the runway and continued on without incident.

P.M.C. Banks w/Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan def. ’Tin Cup’ Ray McAvay w/ Tromeo and Dr. Molly Greenwald
McAvay did well but the independent was brought to the Red Brand show for one reason and one reason only- to make Banks look good for his potential upcoming match against PCW Champion Triple R (D).  He did and Banks hit the Foreclosure on McAvay for the win.

Romney addressed the crowd and thanks them for their support.  He says he hopes to build on last night and become the next PCW CEO and then all hell breaks loose.  Occupy Sesame Street…that’s right…Occupy Sesame Street invades and Bert, Ernie, Elmo, and Big Bird hit the ring to protest Romney wanting to cut funding for public television.

This brought out Corporate Might’s Big Oil who defied the PG edict of ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann and destroyed all four Sesame Street characters with Oklahoma Drillers.

At the end of the Red Brand hours, Bert got that angry-look on his face (you know, this look…)

 


Angry Bert

…and told Romney “We’ll be back.”

Blue Brand Show
Manhattan, NY

The mood was considerably somber at the Blue Brand program held at 30 Rockefeller Center in downtown Manhattan, New York.

David Axelrod came out and again accused Mitt Romney of not being the Mitt Romney who debated Barack Obama last night.  He said it was clear to everyone…or at least everyone on MSNBC and the Daily Kos…that Romney substituted an automaton to take his place.  That’s the only reason Romney did so well last night.

PCW Champion Triple R (D) walked out and demanded a match…against the Mitt Romney automaton.   Axelrod agreed and promised to produce the fake Mitt Romney for the main event of the show.

Brendan Irving  def. ‘Rocky Mountain High‘ Ron Denver
Post match, ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism again ran in but this time, Irving clocked him before Chism could hit him with the Hollywood Blockbuster.  Chism, enraged, accused Irving of ‘not knowing his place’ and reminded him that he has senority over him.

Backstage, the MSNBC commisserated.  Norah O’Donnell wondered why Obama didn’t use his ‘greatest hits’ to pummel Romney.  Chris Matthews exclaimed, “What was he doing?”  Eleanor Clift tried to reassure everyone that Romney did little to ‘fix his problem with the PCW rank and file.’  Gail Collins of the New York Times asked ‘do the debates really matter?”

Finally, the final voice of reason chimed in…

The music of Fleetwood Mac’s “Don’t Stop” suddenly starts to play.

The crowd explodes. A spotlight points out a plaid shirted man with a Singapore cane and a cup of mocha appears.

Suave: “IT’S HIM! HE’S HERE!  HE’S THE TREE HUGGIN’, MOCHA CHUGGIN’, TOBACCO COMPANY BUGGIN’ ALPHA MALE AND ENVIROMENTAL EXTREME HARDCORE ICON…


The Extreme Environmental Hardcore Icon Al Gore

The crowd sings the chorus “Don’t stop, thinking about tomorrow.” Gore holds up his mocha, inside an environmentally friendly biodegradable container of course, and chugs it down. Then he spews it out of his mouth into the crowd and then crushes the paper container on his forehead in a manly fashion.

The Environmental Extreme Hardcore Icon walks down the steps to the main floor. At the bottom of the steps, Gore pulls out another container of mocha, guzzles it down, spews it into the crowd, and then smashes the container on his forehead. Gore then wades through the main floor crowd to the ring.  He climbs up on the apron, pulls out yet another cup of mocha, guzzles that one down, spews it into the crowd, and then smashes the container on his forehead.

Gore: “I already told you.  It was the thin air.  Obama wasn’t acclimated to the thin air.”

C.J. Lewis def. Brenda Boxley-Aaron
The former Hooter’s waitress picked up another win with the Last Call.

After the match, Kathryn Randall Collins came down to the ring for another stare down with Lewis.  Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) and PCW Executive Committee chair Harry Reid (D-NV) walked down and told the pair that they would meet next week to determine who would face PCW Women’s Champion Jill Berg (R) at Extreme Election Night 2012.

PCW Champion Triple R def. Fake ‘Mitt Romney’ automaton
Romney’ was really Paddy O’Kennedy dressed up in a fake metallic suit with a Romney halloween mask.   With PCW CEO Barack Obama clapping in approval, Triple R dismantled ‘Romney’ and got the win after a Singapore caneshot.

PCW Rankings

PCW WORLD CHAMPION:  Triple R (D)
#1 SINGLES CONTENDER: P.M.C. Banks (R)

PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Scott Walker’s Rangers: John and Ronnie Walker (R)
#1 TAG TEAM CONTENDER: Big Union: ‘The Self Described Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D)

PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION: Jill Berg (R)
#1 TELEVISION TITLE CONTENDER: the winner of Kathryn Randall Collins (D)/C.J. Lewis (D) match next week

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