Biden-Ryan and the Beach Boys (???) Explode- PCW on P-SPAN

PCW on P-SPAN Recap
Schottenstein Center
Columbus, OH

From the heart of the battleground state of Ohio, ‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave welcomed everyone to a big PCW on P-SPAN show.  He talked about the big #1 contender’s match for the PCW Women’s title between Democrats Kathryn Randall Collins- a former protegee of Hillary Clinton, and former Hooter’s waitress C.J. Lewis.

Suave also noted that current PCW aide de camp Joe Biden (D-DE) and challenger Paul Ryan (R-WI) would meet as the PCW job interviews continued.

PCW CEO Barack Obama (D-IL) then came out and announced a treat for the evening- a special performance by the reunited Beach Boys.

(1) Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) and Chris Murphy (D-CT) def. Scott Brown (R-MA) and Linda McMahon (R-CT)
The first preview match before PCW Extreme Election Night 2012 goes to the Democrat tag team of Warren and Murphy.

Backstage, Joe Biden gets ready for the big showdown with Ryan.  Joe hops up and down like a boxer warming up.  An aide runs up to him and tells him there’s something wrong- he thinks there’s trouble within the Beach Boys.  Biden tells the aide that the Beach Boys are an American institution and praises them for their longevity. “They’ve been around the block a few times,” Biden says and exits.

P.M.C. Banks (R) enters with members of Corporate Might: Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit (R).

(2) Tim Kaine (D-VA) def. George Allen (R-VA)
Allen, who lost to Jim Webb at Extreme Election Night 2006, comes up short against Kaine in another Extreme Election Night preview match.

Big Union: Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D) cut a promo for Sherrod Brown (D-OH).  They promise they will do what it takes to put Brown over.

Beach Boys- part 2
The aide goes to Hillary Clinton (D-NY) about the simmering issues with the Beach Boys.  He asked her if perhaps she should look into it.  Hillary doesn”t seem overly concerned and goes about her business.

(3) Sherrod Brown (D-OH) vs. Josh Mandel (R-OH)- no contest
Big Union get involved early and the brings down PCW Tag Team Champions Scott Walker’s Rangers: John and Ronnie Walker (R).  Big brawl ensues.  Brown and Mandel take a trip around the arena and the match gets tossed.

Backstage, Paul Ryan (R-WI) relaxes without his shirt on before the big PCW aide de camp job interview.  He sees the camera and quickly puts one on.

(4) Claire McCaskill (D-MO) def. Tim Akin (R-MO)

McCaskill gets help from Code Pink and Emily S List (D) to offset the return of the God Squad who try to come to Akin’s rescue.

Beach Boys
Mike Love gets on the mic and says that tonight is the final night of the Beach Boys reunion of Love and Bruce Johnston with Brian Wilson, Al Jardine, and David Marks.  The opening notes to ‘Wouldn’t It Be Nice’ play.

Johnston takes his keyboard and blasts Jardine over the head with it.

Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”

The performance comes to a screeching halt and Love and Johnston leave the stage.  PCW hurriedly goes to commercial.

Back from commercial, the arena is still buzzing over the Beach Boys as Paul Ryan and Joe Biden walk to the ring.

Joe Biden-Paul Ryan Interview- Aide de Camp of PCW
The first question out of the box is the whole Beach Boys fiasco.   Ryan accuses PCW CEO Barack Obama ignoring obvious signs of discord within the Beach Boys.  Biden says “Malarkey!” and that he and PCW CEO Barack Obama had no idea that things had deteriorated that badly within the group and thought Hillary Clinton knew about it.

Suave: “Apparently, he hasn’t been paying attention to the news then.

Mike Love Says He Didn’t Fire Brian Wilson

Beach Boys’ Wilson: Band dustup ‘bummed me out’

Both men clashed heatedly over the next few minutes with Biden calling himself and Obama ‘protectors of the middle class.’  Ryan responding that he and Romney would do more to promote growth.

Finally, PCW Champion Triple R (D) ran out and said enough of the talk.  He challenged Ryan to ‘shirt-off.’   This brought out P.M.C. Banks (R) and a brawl broke out followed by an impromptu match.

Main event: PCW Champion Triple R (D) w/Joe Biden vs. P.M.C. Banks (R) w/Paul Ryan- no contest
Big Union: Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D) run out and destroy Banks.  Biden laughs it up in the Democratic corner.

Corporate Might: Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit (R) race to the ring and obliterates the PCW Champion.   Biden shouts “that’s malarkey” over and over.

The Chicago Boss Squad: Charlie Ranck and Pete Fyle (D) come in next with steel folding chairs and take out Corporate Might.  Biden laughs it up again and jumps up and down in the corner.

The PCW Tag Team Champions Scott Walker’s Rangers: John and Ronnie Walker (R) attack the Boss Squad causing Biden to shout out “malarkey” again.  The show ends with the Republicans and Democrats brawling in the ring.

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