Sarah Palin Zaps Chris Matthews: PCW on P-SPAN Recap

PCW on P-SPAN Recap
Thursday October 25th
Manchester, NH
Host: Johnny Suave

*Concerto for Trumpet, no. 2 by Johann Melchior Molter plays*

Donald Trump and Gloria Allred jockey for position in the ring, both wanting to spring the big OCTOBER SURPRISE that’ll shake the PCW CEO race to its core.

After thirty seconds of jostling back and forth…

(CUE: Def Leppard’s Tear It Down)

Suave: YES!


‘The Extreme Equalizer’ Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

Suave: IT’S THE EXTREME EQUALIZER- WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT!

Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way
Tear it down – I can’t wait another day
Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way
Tear it down – If only you could stay
All night long

Crowd: What the @#$#!…What the @!##!

Extreme Equalizer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot races down the aisle to the ring.  He grabs the Donald by the hair…or what’s left of it…kick to the balls.  Lift.  Chokeslam.

WTF then grabs Allred and powerbombs her to the mat.

Crowd: “PCW!…PCW!…PCW!…”

MSNBC‘s Rachel Maddow, Lawrence O’Donnell, and Ed Schultz and Fox News’s Bill O’Reilly, Sean Hannity, and Megyn Kelly again broadcast from ringside.

Replay: the artist formerly known as Bird ‘The Mark’ Ridfych now Justin Zoolander, complete with Detroit Tigers jersey, cuts down giant Big Oil (R) Monday night on PCW Extreme Political TV.

Zoolander comes out to gloat about the win and gets jumped by San Francisco Giant Pablo Sandoval and nails him with a 2 x 4 that literally lifts him in the air.  Then Barry Zito runs in and lands looping left hands on Zoolander who’s stunned at the attack.  Then Tim Lincecum runs down and joins in.

Finally, Jose Valverde tries to come to Justin Zoolander’s defense.  Valverde tries to bowl over Zito and Lincecum who step clear and watch as Papa Grande steamrolls Zoolander.

Suave: “Save, NOT made.”

(1) Kirk Walstreit (R) def. Mitch Thomas- American Taxpayer
The American Taxpayer again takes it on the chin from Walstreit.

‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin (R-AK) talks with Fox News and says she feels Obama ‘shuck and jive’ with these lies has to end.

This perks up the ears of the folks over at MSNBC.

(2) Chicago Boss Squad: Charlie Ranck and Pete Fyle (D) def. Halitosis and SNAFU
Ranck and Fyle vote early by attacking Halitosis and SNAFU before the bell sounds to make quick work of the independents.

MSNBC’s Chris Matthews hits the ring and castigates Palin for her ‘shuck and jive’ comment.

Matthews: “” ‘Shuck and jive‘ has a particular ethnic connection, not necessarily bad in all cases, it’s sort of slang.  “It doesn’t mean evil, but to throw it at the PCW CEO as an ethnic shot is pretty blatant.”

Palin joins Matthews in the ring and calls his reaction “outrageously outraged.”  She says Matthews has used the term before and so has Obama’s press secretary Jay Carney and Mario Cuomo (D-NY).

Matthews says it’s racist because she’s a Republican who opposes Obama so that makes her a racist.

Palin gets out a taser and zaps Matthews.  Matthews flops to the floor and that tingly feeling going down his leg…ah never mind.

(3) Starz N. Stripes (R) def. ‘Used Car Salesman’ Steve Torino
Starz uses the American Stars and Fujiwara armBar to submit Torino

Suave recaps the final PCW CEO Interview with current CEO Barack Obama (D-IL) and challenger ‘The Massachusetts Redblood’ Mitt Romney (R-MA).

Obama: “…everything he (Romney) just said is a lie.

Romney: “…And then PCW CEO Obama began what I’ve called an apology tour…”

Suave: “So, as they battled for the final time, which candidate helped themselves the most with Independents?”

Backstage
Romney leaves a room with ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido.

Replay: Monday’s night’s PCW Extreme Political TV
Escondido makes it clear to both Obama and Romney that they’d better start doing a better job of taking care of the mid and lower card wrestlers if they want their support in two weeks.

Will Romney playing to the Independents prove to be the final step that puts him over the top?

(4) The ‘One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) def. ‘The Fighting Farmer from Forest City, IA’ John Deer
Deer was brought to PCW on P-SPAN to do the job for Chism.  But Deer wasn’t interested in playing the part.  After hitting an International Harvester on Chism and going for the pin, Brandon Irving (D)- who’s feuded with Chism since he’s arrived at PCW, does a run-in and attacks Deer.

Irving stomps away at Deer but the farmer gets help from King Coal- who has a huge issue with the Democrats.

Suave: “After weeks of getting beat down by Chism because of his senority, it looks like Irving may be finally making points with him.”

Chism and Irving slide out of the ring and head to the back.

C.J. Lewis (D) Vignette
Former Hooter’s waitress C.J. Lewis talks about her life, working at the famous restaurant chain, and being a single parent.  Lewis says she’s trying to do the best she can to put food on the table and be the best parent she can be.  She says she’s looking forward to the challenge of taking on successful businesswoman and PCW Women’s Champion Jill Berg (R) at PCW Extreme Election Night 2012.

(5) Main Street Mafia: Brian King and Russ Smith (R) def. Occupy Wall Street: Nate and Adam

Justin Zoolander’s night gets worse.  After getting ambushed by the San Francisco Giants earlier in the night, he leaves the arena and finds Big Oil (R) siphoning the gasoline from his car.

Big Oil tells Zoolander good luck getting back home.  Zoolander cracks back at least pump prices are back down to near $3 per gallon.

Heartland Champion Dawn McGill/William Daniels Bryan meeting
‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido sits both Heartland Champion Dawn McGill and William Daniels Bryan down and tells them to talk out their differences.

McGill tells Bryan she doesn’t understand why he wants to have the Republicans and Democrats ‘approval’.  Bryan says it’s not about ‘approval,’ it’s about equality.

Bryan says that the independents ‘don’t have to settle.’

McGill’s point is that if the Republicans and Democrats don’t want to play to the smaller venues, screw ‘em.  She has no problem doing so.

Suave notes that it’s going to be a difference in attitudes and philosophies when McGill and Bryan meet less than two weeks for the Heartland title.

Black Swamp Pirates
Longtime PCW favorites the Black Swamp Pirates sing their classic “American Elitist”

Don’t want to be- an American Elitist
Don’t want to be- smug, self-absorbed, and conceited
Don’t want to look down my nose- sipping cappuccino
And push political views- cause I act or hit a high note
I know it’s hard to see us when you’re up so far above
I guess we’re supposed to listen, cause you’ve got a Hollywood star
Your perks and privilege gets you places we will never see.
Your power and prestige gets you people we’ll never meet.

Stay inside your limousine behind the tinted glass
Hide behind the velvet ropes and you can kiss our ass

Don’t want to be- an American Elitist
Corporate greed feeds the rich- the rest of us simply bleed yes
Golden parachutes- they protect the big gun
While no one gives a damn- about the little ones
I know it’s hard to see us when you’re up so far above
And I guess you’ve got a better way since you drive a fancy car
Your perks and privileges gets you places we will never see.
Your power and prestige gets you people we’ll never meet.

Stay inside your limousine behind the tinted glass
Hide out at your country clubs and you can kiss our ass

Don’t want to be- an American Elitist
Big money special interests- well they get what they need yeah
One dollar equals one vote- that’s the way the game’s played
While the rest of us watch- as our dreams slowly slip away
I know it’s hard to see us when you’re up so far above
And if you’ve got the cash to pay, you get all the fun
Your perks and privileges gets you places we will never see.
Your power and prestige gets you people we’ll never meet.

Stay inside your limousine behind the tinted glass
Spend your cash, buy an election and you can kiss our ass

So Barbra Streisand, you won’t defeat us
You and the rest of the American Elitists
Just like Michael Moore, hell, you’d better believe us
You and the rest of the American Elitists

So Rush Limbaugh, you won’t defeat us
You and the rest of the American Elitists
Hey NRA, you won’t defeat us
You and the rest of the American Elitists
Hey you, George Soros, you’d better believe us
Hey Wall Street Journal, you won’t defeat us
You and the rest of the American Elitists
Like Rolling Stone, you’d better believe us.

Stay inside your limousine behind the tinted glass
Watch us from your ivory towers and you can kiss our ass

Main Event: Code Pink and Emily S List (D) vs. ???
Code Pink and List in the ring and they call themselves the ‘queen makers’ of the PCW Women’s division.  They say the independents want to delude themselves into thinking they will decide but the truth is that women gravitate towards the Democrats because of the Republicans war on women.  They will make sure that a Democrat comes out of PCW Extreme Election Night 2012 with the Women’s belt and no one can-

*AC/DC’s ‘If You Want Blood’ starts up*

It’s criminal
there ought to be a law
criminal
there ought to be a whole lot more
you get a nothin’ for nothin’
tell me who can you trust
we got what ya want
and you got the lust

The team of Angel Scott and Angel Casey- Angels of Death (R), walks down the aisle.

If you want blood (YOU GOT IT)
If you want blood (YOU GOT IT)
BLOOD on the streets
BLOOD on the rocks
BLOOD in the gutter, EVERY LAST DROP,
YOU WANT BLOOD you got it
yes you have

Angels of Death storms the ring and Code Pink and List escape through the ropes.  Pink and List look on in disbelief as the AoD circle the ring as the show ends.

—————–

Extreme Election Night 2012 Card:

Arizona- Jeff Flake (R) vs. Rich Carmona (D)
Montana- Denny Rehberg (R) vs. Jon Tester (D)
Ohio- Sherrod Brown (D) vs. Josh Mandel (R)
Virginia- George Allen (R) vs. Tim Kaine (D)
Massachusetts- Scott Brown (R) vs. Elizabeth Warren (D)
Connecticut: Linda McMahon (R) versus Chris Murphy (D)
Missouri: Claire McCaskill (D) vs. Todd Akin (R)

PCW Tag Team Title Match:
Scott Walker’s Rangers: John and Ronnie Walker (R) © vs. Big Union: Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D)

PCW Women’s Title Match:
Jill Berg (R) © vs. C.J. Lewis (D)

PCW Title Match:
Triple R (D) © vs. P.M.C. Banks (R)

Plus, the decision- Barack Obama (D-IL) or Mitt Romney (R-MA) for PCW CEO

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