Charlie Blackwell of the American Heartland Coalition in the ring wearing a Kent State shirt. Blackwell: “I know you’ve heard about this Friday’s Mid-American Conference championship game between Kent and Northern Illinois and its implication for the BCS. That’s right, a team from the Mid-American Conference actually could be in a BCS bowl…AND IT’S ABOUT FREAKIN’ TIME! From the great Miami of Ohio team of 2003 with Ben Roethlisberger, Urban Meyer‘s unbeaten 2004 Utah team that went to a BCS game but should have had an opportunity to play for the national championship, Kyle Whittingham‘s 2008 Utah squad that finished unbeaten and waxed Alabama in the Sugar Bowl, and TCU last year, the ‘elites’- just like our politicians, have kept the little guys out. I hope Kent wins Friday night. I hope Kent qualifies for a BCS spot. And I hope the rich, greedy bowl barons are scared ****less right now of a…*shudder* MAC team invading their country club oasis. Let’s go Kent…and let’s go Mid-American-”
“SEC Guy” Tom Tebow- Tim Tebow’s Long Lost Black Sheep Brother No One Ever Knew Existed
Tebow walks out. Tebow: “Whoa, whoa, whoa, Charlie. You mean to tell me that you think Kent State, a MAC school, deserves to play with the best of the best college football teams in a BCS Bowl? With the Floridas…Oklahomas…and Alabamas? Are you serious? That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. It’s not going to happen.”
Blackwell points to the Kent State logo on his shirt. Tebow cracks open a beer and smiles. Then out of nowhere, the Raving Rednecks Locke and Loade- both wearing Oklahoma t-shirts, hit the ring and attack Blackwell from behind.
Suave: “HOLY CRAP!” Locke and Loade stomp away at Blackwell until…
Mike conks Loade in the head with a wrench and throws him out of the ring. A referee slides into the ring and calls for the bell.
Charlie Blackwell and Mike the Mechanic w/Tequila Sheila vs. Tom Tebow- Tim Tebow’s Long Lost Black Sheep Brother No One Ever Knew Existed and Raving Redneck Gary Locke
Gary Locke places Blackwell on the turnbuckle. Tebow hits top rope suplex. Tebow follows with a double axhandle chop. Locke stomps Blackwell’s head but Tebow gets hit with a diving elbow smash from Mike the Mechanic. Mike lariats Locke and pulls him out of the ring.
Blackwell connects with a knee on Tebow. Tebow pulls out a handkerchief??? He blows his nose into the snot rag and wipes it in Blackwell’s face! Suave: “Yeah, okay. I didn’t need to see that.” Tebow tackles Blackwell and both men roll to the floor. Suave: “All four men on the floor…wait. Tebow has a chair.” Tebow swings the chair and hits Blackwell. Suave: “HOLY CRAP!” Tebow tears off Blackwell’s Kent State shirt and begins to choke him out with it. Suave: “BLACKWELL IN TROUBLE! TEBOW’S CHOKING HIM WITH HIS SHIRT!”
Locke and Mike continue to brawl up the aisle. Loade finally comes to and realizes what’s going on. He goes after Mike as well and now it’s two on one. Locke and Loade slam Mike into the steel barricade. Tequila Sheila sneaks up behind Locke and whaps him in the back of the head with her blender…no effect. Suave: “Oh, crap. She’s in big, big trouble now.” Locke grabs Tequila Sheila by the throat but before he can do anything-
Suave: “HERE COMES DAWN McGILL!” McGill, wielding a Singapore cane and wearing a Bowling Green State University (another MAC school) jersey, runs up to Locke. *THWACK* Suave: “OH! SHE LEFT A WELT ON LOCKE’S BACK…” *THWACK* Locke pirouettes and falls. Loade turns and starts for McGill… *THWACK* …and promptly recoils back into the steel barricade.
Back in the ring, Tebow hits a ropeflip hiptoss on Blackwell. Blackwell back with a jumping sidekick that knocks Tebow back into the ropes. Tebow comes forward. Jawbreaker by Blackwell. Tebow on the mat. Blackwell with a diving elbow smash. Blackwell pulls Tebow up- hits him with a back fist. Blackwell goes for a piledriver- but Tebow flips out and escapes. Suave: “Where is Tebow going?”
Tebow rolls out of the ring and heads towards the back. Suave: “Imagine that. Typical big team who’s afraid to lose to a team that’s supposedly inferior.”
McGill rolls into the ring and hands Blackwell back the Kent State shirt. Blackwell holds the shirt into the air. Suave: “Actually, I don’t think Charlie would mind too much if Northern Illinois somehow made it into the BCS either.”
Bernstein talks with PCW Hall of Famers ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido and ‘Not Just Intolerable…Not Just Unbearable…He Is…Justin Sufferable. Bernstein: “Both of you have returned to PCW. Why?” Escondido: “Because, Justin and I are both proud of our legacy here. This place is going to be 8 years old in four months…EIGHT YEARS OLD!” Sufferable: “That’s unbelievable.” Escondido: “It is. But think about it. The old ECW- Extreme Championship Wrestling- what this political wrestling promotion is based off of, lasted nine years.” Bernstein: “What are you both proud of the most?” Sufferable: “That’s easy. My title run that lasted over a year.”
Background: November 7th, 2006- January 20th, 2008 Title Reign of “Not just intolerable. Not just unbearable. He is…” Justin Sufferable (Progressive Alliance)
Justin Sufferable chased the BCEW title for several months before November’s BCEW Extreme Election Night 2006. After several close calls, much of them instigated by a rival within with the Progressive Alliance, Triple R (aka Road Rage Randy), Sufferable defeated Chris Escondido when Triple R’s interference backfired and Escondido was accidently knocked out by a chairshot by Triple R.
Bad luck soon revisited Sufferable. On the January 17th, 2007 edition of BCEW Extreme Political TV, both Sufferable and Escondido were viciously attacked by EECW champion Bobby Lashaway at the direction of ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann. Mr. McMann had declared war on the extreme nature of BCEW and wanted to take it over to infuse his ‘sports entertainment genius’ into the promotion. Both Sufferable and Escondido suffered major knee injuries and were slated to be out for a year.
On March 25th, 2007 at the BCEW vs. EECW War pay per view, Triple R (Progressive Alliance) defeated 14 other wrestlers to become the provisional champion- with the proviso that when Sufferable returned from his injury there would be a unification match. However, after Triple R shown himself to be working with Mr. McMann and declared on the April 7th, 2007 Extreme Political TV that he was taking the BCEW belt to EECW and throw it in the trash can, BCEW Owner Bubba Jackson made a rare appearance and fired Triple R.
Triple R shortly afterwards re-applied to BCEW and worked his way back up. At BCEW Loose Cannons Unleashed 3 on June 3rd, 2007, Triple R defeated Starz N. Stripes (American Patriots) and Little Paulie of the American Bikers (Independent) to win the provisional championship a second time. Triple R demanded the belt but a returning Justin Sufferable challenged him to a match in September at BCEW Loose Cannons Lock and Load.
September 30th, 2007- Loose Cannons Lock and Load. Sufferable faced off against Triple R but was jumped and laid out by the Angry Left Wing Bloggers (Paul Krugman, Media Matters For America, Daily Kos, and Eric Alterman). The title situation remained unresolved until October 28th, 2007 at BCEW Night of Champions. On the night Triple R was to have his coronation as the BCEW champion, Sufferable attacked him and an impromptu title match followed. Sufferable defeats Triple R to become the undisputed BCEW champion.
On January 20th, 2008, Sufferable suffered a second major knee injury against Starz N. Stripes. After doctors determined that Sufferable needed major reconstructive knee surgery, he vacated the title a week later.
Escondido: “I’m proud of my title reign too.
Title Reign- January 2006- November 7th, 2006- “No Frills” Chris Escondido (Independent)
With the help of John McCain, Escondido defeated 29 other wrestlers at BCEW Backbreak Mountain to become the new BCEW champion. The match was down to Independent Escondido and A. Tom Bomb from the American Patriots. Dick Cheney tried to sneak a foreign object to A-Bomb but McCain caught him red-handed. While McCain and Dick argued, Escondido pushed the distracted A-Bomb over the top rope and climbed up Backbreak Mountain (in actuality, a ladder decorated up like a mountain) and claimed the title.
Escondido: But I think PCW did some really good stuff back in 2008-2009. Right now, PCW’s hit a bit of a lull. What used to be funny really isn’t right now. People should be outraged by what’s going on because the Republicans and Democrats are totally screwing up what once was a very good thing.” Sufferable: “I agree. Where’s the leadership? PCW is in trouble and if Pelosi, Reid, Boehner, McConnell, or PCW CEO Obama won’t do anything about it then it’s time someone else stepped up.” Bernstein: “What do you mean?” Escondido: “It means, fun time is over. People should be angry. The PCW political wrestlers in the mid-card and the lower card should be pissed. And it’s time someone stepped up and took on their cause.” Sufferable: “And that’s where we come in.”
Sufferable and Escondido depart.
PCW Executive Committee Chair Harry Reid (D-NV), PCW Competition Committee Chair John Boehner (R-OH), Nancy Pelosi (D-CA), and Mitch McConnell (R-KY) continue to negotiate with PCW Treasurer Timothy Geitner on trying to avert the oncoming PCW financial cliff.
PCW CEO Barack Obama (D-IL) swings through the crowd as if he’s on a campaign swing.
Suave: “Maybe, just maybe, he should be back with the others trying to work this out? Maybe?”
End of Part 2
- 2012 MAC Championship, Kent State vs. Northern Illinois: Dri Archer leads Flashes to title game (cleveland.sbnation.com)
- MAC championship has BCS implications (seattletimes.com)
- Kent State’s Darrell Hazell Named MAC’s Top Coach; MAC Championship On 92.3 The Fan Friday (cleveland.cbslocal.com)
- MAC championship has BCS implications (cnsnews.com)
- Kent State ranked No. 17 in BCS Poll, could earn first BCS bowl berth (ohio.com)
- MAC Championship Has BCS Implications (nytimes.com)
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