This book is a lot funnier than 2016 Obama’s America…

…and it features PCW.

That’s right, Jesusland vs. Progressiveville is a lot funnier than the 2016 Obama‘s America movie that’s now out…and it puts the blame squarely where it belongs- our dysfunctional political culture. And did I mention it’s funny?

That’s right, from the cover showing Sarah Palin and Keith Olbermann attempting to throttle each to the opening salvo delivered in Charlie Ray Carlson’s Greatest Hit, “Shut Up and Drink My Beer”:

“I’m sitting at a bar stool
They’ve got the TV on
It’s one of those political pundit shows
Who says the other side is wrong
I ask the bartender to change it now
And I make it very clear
I didn’t come in to hear political noise
I came in  to drink some beer

“They say the coverage on Fox News is slightly skewed
And MSNBC may have a particular point of view
As for CNN, let me make this crystal clear
I wish they’d all shut up…
And let me drink my beer.
I know y’all claim to be- impartial and fair
Y’all just need to shut up
And let me drink my beer….

‎”I already know how bad things are
Because I live it every day
We know the economy’s bad- and jobs are few
And we all have bills to pay
The government prints the money they need
While the rest of us are in arrears
Staying afloat in an ocean of debt
And not enough cash to buy a beer

“They say the coverage on Fox News is slightly skewed
And MSNBC may have a particular point of view
As for CNN, let me make this crystal clear
I wish they’d all shut up…
And let me drink my beer.
I know y’all claim to be- impartial and fair
Y’all just need to shut up
And let me drink my beer
Yee-haw.

“Both parties- they’re all the same
They point fingers at each other to blame
For the way things are what they are
I can barely afford to drive my car
Raise a glass for the common man
Who’s only doing the best he can
Raise a middle finger if you’re pissed
And tell the politicians to occupy this

“They say the coverage on Fox News is slightly skewed
And MSNBC may have a particular point of view
As for CNN, let me make this crystal clear
I wish they’d all shut up…
And let me drink my beer.
I know y’all claim to be- impartial and fair
Y’all just need to shut up
And let me drink my beer
Can’t I sit here in peace and
Just drink my beer.

..the book harpoons the dysfunctional mess that American politics have become.

The year is 2017. Former Presidents Bill Clinton and George W. Bush convene the American Reconciliation Summit- an attempt to reunite the fifty states into one country once again in a world where harsh divisions and economic strife have pulled the United States apart. But when a multi-national mega-corporation attempts to disrupt the reconciliation talks, Stacey Martin, Kate Wilson, and the Washington Freedom Force find themselves on the front line protecting the, now, free city of Washington D.C. and the summit. With the future of a possible reconstituted United States in the balance, can Stacey and Kate stop the forces against reconciliation from undermining the summit? Or will the corporation make sure the talks suffer a cataclysmic, catastrophic failure of nuclear proportions. Written by the irrepressible, onerous, and uber-mysterious Mr. A. Nominous, the book not only harpoons the dysfunction in American politics but also pokes fun at various cultural icons ranging from Harry Potter to Les Miserables, Stars Wars to Armageddon to even the Twilight films, and big corporations and country music to name a few.

Amazon.com
Kindle-Amazon.com
Barnes and Noble
Books a Million

Suave: “What the Hell is Going On Here?”

The Voice of PCW Johnny Suave commented about the stunning turn of events on PCW Extreme Political TV the past two weeks.

July 30th Edition-PCW Extreme Political TV
Dawn McGill Throws Down the Gauntlet
McGill: Ladies and gentlemen, there are good people in this room who’ve been left behind as Democrats and Republicans both run PCW at their expense. They don’t want two parties to dominate PCW against the greater good. They don’t want political gamesmanship to trump doing what’s right for everyone. They don’t want PCW partisanship to keep them off the Red Brand and Blue Brand tours and away from opportunities to win title belts. If this is the path that both factions lead us, then the Democrats and Republican can both KISS MY ASS!

The crowd roars when McGill throws the former television title belt on the mat. McGill kneels and puts masking tape on the belt. Then she takes the sharpie and writes on it.

McGill: Let the Republicans and Democrats take their titles. Tonight is a night that I draw a line in the sand. Tonight, I start a revolution that will bring back common sense to PCW and stop putting Democrats and Republicans above all else. Tonight, let the new era begin: the era of a PCW of the people, by the people, and for the people. The era of the PCW Heartland Title!

She raised the title belt with PCW Heartland champion written on the masking tape covering up ‘television champion.’

McGill: This is the only title that matters. The ‘People’s’ title. The PCW Heartland Title!

August 7th Edition-PCW Extreme Political TV
Daniel-San Becomes William Daniels Bryan
Daniel-San:
From this point forward, you can call me William Bryan. Daniel-San is no more. It is for the common man that I make my stand here tonight. They do not come as aggressors. Their war is not a war of conquest; they are fighting in the defense of our homes, our families, and posterity. They have petitioned, and their petitions have been scorned; they have entreated, and their entreaties have been disregarded; they have begged, and were mocked when their calamity came. We beg no longer; we entreat no more; we petition no more. We defy them!

Bryan pointed at Holder and held up the gold belt.

Bryan: We defy you! Having behind us the masses of this nation who support PCW, the laboring interests, and the toilers everywhere, we answer your demand for the return of this golden belt by saying to you: “You shall not press down upon the brow of labor this crown of thorns; you shall not crucify mankind for a belt of gold.”

Bryan threw the belt down at Holder’s feet and then placed his hands to his temples with his fingers extended. Then he extended his arms to his sides straight out to his body and held the pose for several seconds while the audience watched in dead silence.

Suave: With the Democrats and Republicans consolidating the titles in their respective camps, the Independents have essentially retaliated by taking over the PCW Extreme Political TV show.   Now that PCW has fractured into three distinct shows, it’ll be interesting to see how both Obama and Romney react.  Will they both try to reach out and bring the independents back into their fold?  Or are we going to be treated to a three way war going into November’s PCW Extreme Election Night 2012?

Stay tuned.

Tonight on PCW Politics is War:
-Big Missouri Republican 3 Way Dance for shot at Claire McCaskill (D-MO) in November at PCW Extreme Election Night 2012
-Republicans Linda McMahon and Christopher Shays (R-CT) face off
-Is Mitt Romney (R-MA) any closer to choosing his aide de camp candidate?
-Fallout from the PCW Independent revolt.

The Muppets on PCW?: 10/31- PCW Extreme Political TV

PCW Extreme Political TV Recap
Hulman Center
Terre Haute, IN
Monday October 31st, 2011
Host: Johnny Suave

Suave is in the ring to announce the first match when a strange song starts to play…

A lifesize Kermit the Frog, Fozzie Bear, and Miss Piggy come out.  Suave is disgusted and opines out loud “What self-respecting wrestling show would stoop to this?  The Muppets?”

Suave: “Oh.”

The frivolity doesn’t last long.  Def Leppard‘s ‘Rock, Rock Til You Drop’ plays and PCW’s Extreme Equalizer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot runs down and choke slams ‘Kermit the Frog’, ‘Fozzie’, and ‘Miss Piggy’ through three separate  flaming tables.

Don’t worry kiddies, the costumes only sustained minor burn damage.  Anyways…

PCW CEO Barack Obama continued to exercise power via executive orders by mandating a PCW Title match between Champion Daniel-San (I) and Big Labor (D).  Obama then blamed the ‘gridlock’ on Obstructionist Republicans as a justification of his actions.

Women for Women: Code Pink and Emily List (D) come out and demand a rematch with the PCW Women’s Champion Valora Salinas (I).  Obama, via executive fiat, agrees and calls for the match.

Valora doesn’t come out (she’s out of town and not in the building) but The Mercenaries: Dawn McGill and Svetlana Kovaleski (I) do.

McGill and Kovaleski def. Women for Women in 5:15.

The God Squad: Rev. Oral Hinnrich, Pastor Buddy Flambe, The Right Reverend Randy Richardson, and Sister Mary Marlboro (R) attack PCW Men’s Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism‘s valet- The Skanky Rich Bimbos.

Suave wonders who spilled the beans on where the SRB were going to be.  Then Kris Humphries, Kim’s husband, walks out.  He drags Kim over to Rev. Richardson who delivers a Sermon on the Mount that leaves her unconscious in the ring.

Richardson blasts Kim for filing for divorce a scant 70 plus days into their marriage.  He’s about to deliver a second Sermon on the Mount when Chism challenges Richardson one on one  with the title on the line.  Richardson accepts and the match begins.

Five minutes in, Courtney and Chloe whip open their tops and gives Richardson a Wardrobe Malfunction.  Sneaking into the ring, former PCW Champion O’Beck Bahama (D) makes his return and puts Richardson in the Bahama Backbreaker.

Chism gets the pin at 11:51 to retain the men’s title.

Post match, Chism gets on the mic and shouts at the God Squad, “How about your Tim Tebow now?   What happened to him?  Oh, I know, he got destroyed by some Lions last week.”

Main Event:
PCW Champion Daniel-San (I) walks out with Mrs. Miyagi.  But PCW CEO Obama announces on the jumbotron that per his executive order, she is NOT allowed to be at ringside for the match.  Then Big Labor (D) and his minions attack and nearly win the match.

American Heartlander Charlie Blackwell, wife Kenzie, and ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido run in to help Daniel-San and the PCW Champion retains at 9:07.

—————-

Thursday night:
PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN heads to Rockford, Illinois this Thursday night.

Blackwell Chooses Between Kasich and Big Unions: 10/20 PCW Politics is War- Hour 2

PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN- Hour 2
Green’s Arena
Wakarusa, Kansas
Thursday October 20th, 2011
Host: Johnny Suave

Suave reviews hour one of PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN:
-Maroon 5′s Adam Levine comes out and complains about PCW using their music.  PCW’s Extreme Equalizer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot comes out and complains about Levine’s actual existence.   Kick to the groin.  Grab to the throat.  ChokeslamMiddle finger salute.
-Brooklyn Decker serves as ring announcer for the Dan Patrick/Colin Cowherd match.  After the Mothership (ESPN) tries to use Corporate Might (R) to squash Patrick and his Danettes, Tim Tebow and Boise State QB Kellen Moore come to the rescue along with Adam Sandler‘s posse.
-Lindsay Lohan, doing her community service, pushes a bucket of water and a map to the ladies’ room.
-Independent Charlie Blackwell stands up to both Republican and Democratic partisans
-Callie Urban (D) shows ‘American Girl’ Sarah Mae Smith just what she’s going to do to her when they meet next- and uses Women for Women’s Code Pink and Emily List to get her point across.

BACKSTAGE
Lindsay Lohan exits the ladies’ room and bumps into PCW Women’s Champion Valora Salinas (I).  Lohan tells her to ‘watch it, bitch’ and skulks off.

MATCH #3
Women For Women: Code Pink and Emily List (D) vs.
The Pinups: Sabrina James and Alicia Rowe (I)

…Pink and List, already softened up by former PCW Women’s Champion Callie Urban, are no match for The Pinups.

WINNER: The Pinups @ 3:03

COMMERCIAL BREAK

An angry Nancy Pelosi comes out and calls Callie Urban (D) to the ring.  She demands an explanation for what she did to Women for Women.  Urban comes out with a microphone and tells Pelosi she made it explicitly clear that she did not want their assistance at PCW Lock and Load in her title defense against Valora Salinas.

From PCW Lock and Load 6:
Whip by Urban into the corner…here’s Code Pink and Emily List.  Urban sees them and doesn’t look too happy.   She whips Valora across the ring a second time.  Then walks over to the edge and tells them to get lost.  Valora roars out the corner towards Urban.  Irish Whip by Valora…no, reversal by Urban and she whips Valora hard face first into the corner.  Code Pink and Emily List climb up onto the apron.  Urban comes in for a splash.  GLITTER BOMB BY CODE PINK!  But who got it?  Valora is sitting on the floor.  Urban staggers back and she can’t see.  Valora swoops in behind her…TEQUILA SUNRISE!  Arm trap single leg Boston crab!   Urban’s trapped…SHE TAPS!

Pelosi tells her that she has every right to do what she sees fit to defend the Democrats and their titles.  Callie’s response…”Keep them out of my way and I will bring back the PCW Women’s title.”

BACKSTAGE
John Kasich (R-OH) stands with Paul Ryan (R-WI) and his Raiders and Corporate Might: Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit- The Wall Street Market Analyst with the huge mancrush on ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit.  Kasich addresses Independent Charlie Blackwell directly and calls on him to ‘do the right thing’ and support SB5.

“Can You Hear the People Sing?” from Les Miserables begins to play and Blackwell, his wife- Kenzie, and ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido make their way over.  Again, Kasich implores Blackwell to support his plan.  But before he can answer, Big Labor (D), James the Jeep Worker (D), The California Teacher’s Union: ‘Foul Pole’ Andy Golatta and Malibu Dusty, and the Longshoremen attack Kasich and his supporters.

Blackwell and his charges lay back and watch as the Big Union group lay out Kasich and his group.  Then Blackwell motions and out streams the Tea Party and they all attack the Big Union forces.

Blackwell gets on the mic and says ‘both sides are wrong.’  PCW is headed in the wrong direction and it’s high time someone came in to address the issues and bring people together.  He announces the return of the…AMERICAN HEARTLAND PARTY!  The crowd rises and roars as Blackwell and company clean out the ring.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Women’s champion Valora Salinas drags a bound and duct tape gagged Lindsay Lohan to the ring.  She rips off the duct tape and unties.  Then she demands that someone rings the bell and a referee runs out…

MATCH #4 PCW Women’s Champion Valora Salinas (I) vs. (Li-Lo) Lindsay Lohan

…Valora slaps Lohan twice and slaps on the Tazzmission.  Lohan taps out and that’s that.

WINNER: Valora Salinas @ :15

Valora grabs Li-Lo by the hair and whips her through the middle ropes.  She climbs to the top turnbuckle and hits an Aztec Moonsault on Lohan for good measure.

Suave: “Main event, next.”

COMMERCIAL BREAK

MATCH #5
‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R) w/Mitt Romney (R-MA)
vs.
Texas Jack (R) w/Rick Perry (R-TX)
vs.
‘Pizza Delivery Guy’ Josh Jackson (R) w/Herman Cain (R-GA)
vs.
‘The Right Reverend’ Randy Richardson (R) w/Newt Gingrich (R-GA)

Jackson finds himself under attack from the other three contestants in the ring.

…Jackson hits a jumping enziguri on Texas Jack out of nowhere.  Springboard flying forearm follow up by Jackson.  He tries for the Pizza Cutter.  Texas Jack counters into a side-slam and nails a bulldog on Jackson.  He covers Jackson and 1…2…3.  Josh Jackson eliminated.

…down to Rev. Richardson and ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott.  Rev. Richardson grabs a tool box from under the ring and tosses a wrench at Scott.  Then he grabs a screwdriver and tries to gouge Scott’s face with it.  Rev. Richardson lunges forward with the screwdriver but misses and stabs the turnbuckle instead.

Scott whips Richardson into the turnbuckle and the Right Reverend catches the wider end of the tool right between the eyes. 

Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”

White Russian Legsweep by Scott and he covers…1…2…3.

WINNER: ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R) @ 11:31

Herman Cain vs. Donald Trump: PCW End of the World- Part 2

Suave: Two weeks ago, Donald Trump and Herman Cain had a brief showdown on PCW’s Extreme Political TV.  Here’s what went down…

5/10 PCW Extreme Political TV Main Event Match:
‘Pizza Delivery Guy’ Josh Jackson
HT: 6′ 4″ WT: 235
HOME: Ft. Lauderdale, FL


w/Herman Cain (R)


and ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin

vs.

RINO- The Wonk Machine (R)
HT: 6′ 0″  WT: 275
HOME: Detroit, MI
FIN: Spear!

RINO catches Jackson on a lariat attempt and dispatches him out of the ring.  RINO slams Jackson onto the security barrier.  Corkscrew leg drop from the barrier by RINO.  Tessa over but RINO has the ladder.  RINO steamrolls Martin with the ladder and lays her out on the floor.  Jackson with a chair- *WHACK*  RINO staggers right into a basement dropkick by Jackson.  Camel clutch on the ladder by Jackson now.  He slams RINO face first into the ladder and busts him open.  Again, Jackson slams RINO into the ladder.   Then he pulls RINO up and tosses him back into the ring.   Leg drop by Jackson.  He makes the cover- RINO barely kicks out at 2.

Jackson whips RINO to the other corner.  Another whip, reversal and Jackson eats the corner turnbuckle.  RINO slams Jackson face first into the turnbuckle.  RINO goes for the spear…he MISSES and slams into the corner ringpost.  Moonsault by Jackson.  Cover…1…2-


Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit

Big Oil pulls Jackson and tosses him out of the ring through a table.   Walstreit lifts RINO up and spikes him with the Stock Market Plunge.

NO CONTEST @ 8:54


Donald Trump (R)

Trump walks out at the end, clapping his hands as Big Oil and Walstreit celebrate in the ring.

——————–

Suave: Here we go.  Tonight, it’s Pizza Delivery Guy Josh Jackson, backed by Herman Cain (R) versus Kirk Walstreit (R) backed by Donald Trump.


Kirk Walstreit w/Donald J. Trump
(R)
HT: 6-2  WT: 220
HOME: New York City, NY
FIN: Stock Market Plunge

vs.

Rookie ‘Pizza Delivery Guy’ Josh Jackson w/Herman Cain (R) and ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin
HT: 6′ 4″ WT: 235
HOME: Ft. Lauderdale, FL

Suave: A battle between the old and the new as Josh Jackson takes on Kirk Walstreit tonight on PCW End of the freakin’ World show.

Jackson charges up the ramp and attacks Walstreit as he enters! They brawl down the ramp and Jackson with rights to Walstreit. Jackson looks for toys under the ring, gets a chair and waffles Walstreit. He grabs a table now and sets it up. Jackson nails Walstreit again, but Walstreit gets a whip to JACKSON and he nails the steel post! Walstreit grabs another table and then grabs a ladder! He slides it in the ring and Trump sets up a table on the floor. Walstreit with rights and jabs to Jackson. Picks up Jackson and rams him back first into the post. Jackson is down and Walstreit sets up the ladder. Trump puts Jackson on the tables and Walstreit climbs the ladder! Jackson nails his grandmother with an errant singapore cane attack, Jackson up the ladder s well…Trump up and Jackson kicks him. Jackson has Walstreit…SUPERPLEX OFF THE LADDER THROUGH THE TABLES!!!!!! HOLY SHIT! Both men are down and Texas Tex calls for help.

EMT’s came out, but the match continued. Slam by Jackson, he has the ladder and sets it up. He goes to the top rope…then up the ladder. Trump nails Jackson with kendo stick shots as Jackson was prepping for the elbow. They show a replay of the table bump about 6-times. Walstreit slams the ladder into Jackson back. He does it again and Trump is pleased as Walstreit covers for 2. Walstreit grabs the ladder again, charges at Jackson and about takes off Jackson‘s head. Walstreit covers 1…2…NO! Elbows to the back by Walstreit, then into a surfboard. Jackson fights, gets to his feet but Walstreit brings him back down to his knees. Jackson to his feet again and gets out. DDT by Walstreit as Jackson tried to get Trump. Walstreit covers for 2. Walstreit grabs a chair and waffles Jackson. Walstreit drags Jackson to the corner now and Trump gets a trashcan and it looks like it’s the Stock Market Plunge time on the trashcan. Trump holds the can, Walstreit up top…leaps and JACKSON MOVES AND WALSTREIT NAILS TRUMP! Jackson gets to his feet and they exchange rights. Jackson in control, flying forearm and KIP UP! Atomic drop. Rights to Walstreit, slam and Jackson goes up top. ELBOW DROP! PIZZA CUTTER to Walstreit! 1…2…NO! Trump pulls out the ref! Jackson after Trump now and he tosses him in the ring and goes after him.  LOW BLOW BY WALSTREIT! Walstreit now grabs Jackson …STOCK MARKET PLUNGE!  Walstreit covers.

Trump has them ring the bell and that is all!

WINNER @ 8:44 – Kirk Walstreit (R)

———————————-

Herman Cain: I Would Offer Palestinians ‘Nothing’ For Peace, They Don’t Want Peace Mediate
Campaign ’12 Weekend Roundup: Mitch Daniels Will Not Run, Cain In, Pawlenty Probably Running; Update: Pawlenty In  Doug Powers @ Michelle Malkin
Lowering Cain? Herman Cain’s Shaky Interview on FoxNews  Ace of Spades
Herman Cain to Officially Run for President, Christian News  Christian News
Mitch Daniels Out of 2012 Race; Herman Cain is the Next President ‎ – Village Voice (blog)
Is there a winner among (what’s left of) the GOP field?‎ – Atlanta Journal Constitution (blog)
FairTax Proponent Herman Cain Is Running for U.S. President ‎  Gather.com
Sarah Palin Talks Israel, ‘Redneck’ Ringtones, Herman Cain‎  Newser

PCW Rewind: Interesting Past PCW Matches

No PCW Extreme Political TV tonight.   PCW goes back into the vaults and pulls out some old matches from the archives.  Enjoy.

From October 26th, 2006 PCW Extreme Political TV

Rush Limbaugh segment.
The crowd boos as the Alice in Chains hit “Man In the Box” blares over the loudspeaker. “Here comes the Innovator of Extreme Excellence in Broadcasting,” Suave says, “what is that? The I-E-E-I-B network?”

“Ox-y-con-tin!” they chant and clap.

“That’s right,” Limbaugh says, “it is I. El Rushbo. The maha-rushbie. With talent on loan from God!”

“Well you better give it back to him,” Suave cracks, “because you sure as hell ain’t using it.”

Limbaugh comes out to address the whole issue of Michael J. Fox. Rush asks
if everyone’s seen the commercial. He then mimics Fox’s restless torso weaves
and writhes, and head bobs from side to side on the commercial. “A**hole!” the
crowd chants in response. “He is exaggerating the effects of his disease,” Limbaugh claims, “He’s moving all around and shaking and it’s purely an act.”

More boos rain in. “This is low, even for the Innovator of Extreme Excellence in
Broadcasting,” Suave opines, he’s mocking someone with Parkinson’s Disease.”

“Michael J. Fox has never portrayed any of the symptoms of the disease like this. He can barely control himself,” Limbaugh says. He again makes fun of Fox’s ‘funky movement’ thing.

The crowd goes nuts when Michael J. Fox comes out. He’s not moving nearly as much as on the commercial. “It’s ironic, given some of the things that have been said, that my pills are working really well right now,” he says in response. Fox tells Limbaugh this isn’t about politics; it’s about stem cell research.

“You’re allowing your illness to be exploited by shilling for the Democrats,” Limbaugh responds.

Fox again tells him he’s not acting and he’s advocating stem cell research.

Limbaugh repeats his assertions that he’s being used by the Democrats.

Fox tells him he’s wrong and he’s being his usual bully self. The crowd cheers.

Limbaugh throws down the mic and dares Fox to come into the ring. “You want me, in the ring with you?” Fox asks. Limbaugh holds the rope down and dares him to come inside.

“Fine. You’re on,” Fox says, “we’ll meet later tonight.”

Limbaugh tells him to make sure he takes his meds before he comes back out. The crowd then chants ‘Oxycontin” again. “Shut up!” Limbaugh snaps…

———————

Match #3- Rush Limbaugh (American Patriots) vs. Michael J.
Fox
Limbaugh comes out first to the ring. The crowd lets him have it big time. Loud boos and the ever-present “Oxycontin” chant.

“Well, the Innovator of Extreme Excellence in Broadcasting is in the ring,” Suave says. “We’re waiting for Michael J. Fox to come out.” A few more seconds go by and nothing.

Limbaugh grabs the mic. “Of course, he’s not coming out,” he says. “he’s just
pretending to be-” The crowd interrupts Limbaugh with a huge cheer. “What?”

Suave says, trying to see the action, “HOLY CRAP! IT’S THE PCW CHAMPION CHRIS ESCONDIDO!” Limbaugh’s cocky, haughty demeanor melts away when the PCW Champion comes to the ring. He quickly looks for a way out. “LIMBAUGH HAS NO WHERE TO RUN,” Suave says, “AND NO WHERE TO HIDE!”

Escondido takes the mic. “You know, Rush,” he says, “you talk a good game when it’s someone who probably isn’t in good enough condition to defend himself.” Escondido calls Limbaugh a bully and tells him to take his best shot. Rush gets cornered and tries to beg off. Escondido doesn’t buy it and lifts him up to give him a suplex. The crowd goes nuts. “HOLY CRAP!” Suave shouts out, “HE’S GOING TO DO IT! HE’S GOING TO-”

Out of nowhere, Justin Sufferable’s catch phrase “Not just intolerable. Not just
unbearable. I am Justin Sufferable!” plays over the sound system. Sufferable
then runs in and whacks the champion in the back with a Singapore cane.
Escondido drops Limbaugh on his back hard and then staggers into the corner.

“Sufferable’s trying to get a head start on BCEW Extreme Election Night!” Suave
says as Justin whacks Escondido repeatedly with the Singapore cane. “He wants
the PCW title badly!” Again the crowd noises rises. “HOLY CRAP! IT’S A. TOM
BOMB!”

A. Tom Bomb (A-Bomb) hits the ring and power slams Sufferable. Then he power slams Chris Escondido. Then Sufferable again, this time bouncing him from the ring. A-Bomb looks to slam Escondido again but he slips under the ropes. A-Bomb looks down at Rush Limbaugh and grins. Limbaugh looks up at the hulking A-Bomb and gets a real bug-eyed, mouth open expression. He tries to leave but Hy Drogen Bomb blocks the way.

“Limbaugh’s stuck and he’s in a real bad place right now!” Suave observes. H-Bomb grabs a table from underneath and throws it in the ring. “HERE WE GO!” Suave says. H-Bomb climbs to the top rope. A-Bomb clubs Limbaugh and helps set him up. H-Bomb lifts up Limbaugh and powerbombs him through the table.

“HOLY CRAP!” Suave shouts.

From November 7, 2006- PCW Extreme Election Night 2006

MATCH #2- THREE WAY DANCE- JOE LIEBERMAN (Independent), NED LAMONT (Democrat), and ALAN SCHLESINGER (Republican)

“Yeah, I guess we’ll see just how ‘fair’ the night goes,” Suave cracks. Suave
starts into the next match. He recaps the first match up between Joe Lieberman
and Ned Lamont. The replay shows that Lieberman and Lamont have been through a war. As Lamont goes for a spear, Lieberman trips him up with a drop toe hold and locks on the abdominal stretch. The Bloggers then make a move to intervene. Behind Lieberman, Daily Kos slips in the ring wearing brass knuckles. Eric Alterman and Media Matters distracts Lieberman and Daily Kos nails him with the brass knucks. Media Matters rolls Lieberman over and points Lamont to make the cover.

“All right, the Left Wing Bloggers Daily Kos, Media Matters for America, and Eric Alterman were the difference the last time Lieberman and Lamont met up,” explained Suave. “This time, Alan Schlesinger may be the wild card of the group.”

The bell rings and immediately the Bloggers pile into the ring and attack Lieberman. Schlesinger joins in. “HOLY CRAP! IT’S FIVE AGAINST ONE!” Suave says as the referee is powerless to prevent the outside interference.

Lieberman is whipped into the ropes and Daily Kos and Media Matters set to double team him. Lieberman clotheslines the two bloggers but then gets blindsided by Eric Alterman.

The Bomb Brothers (A. Tom Bomb, Hy Drogen Bomb, and Newt Tron Bomb) run out. “HERE THEY COME!” Suave says as the crowd stands up and cheers, “THE ODDS HAVE JUST BEEN EVENED UP!”

A-Bomb power slams Eric Alterman. H-Bomb lifts Daily Kos in the air and tosses him over the top rope through a ringside table. “HOLY CRAP!” Suave says as Daily Kos is buried amongst the remains of the table.

“PCW!…PCW!” chants the crowd. A-Bomb corners Alan Schlesinger. Schlesinger desperately calls out to the Republicans in the back for help. As A-Bomb lifts him up and Newt Tron Bomb sets a table up in the ring, Schlesinger calls out for Dick, or The Mastermind Karl Rove, or even the Rookie Sensation Starz N. Stripes. No help arrives and A-Bomb Atomic Powerbombs Schlesinger through the table. Lieberman covers and Schlesinger is eliminated.

The crowd serenades Schlesinger with the ‘na, na. hey-hey-hey goodbye’ song.

H-Bomb decks Media Matters and then climbs out of the ring. He grabs Media Matters’s legs and crotches him on the ringpost. H-Bomb then rolls him out of the ring.

“IT’S DOWN TO LIEBERMAN AND LAMONT NOW!” Suave says. “Now we’ll find out just what Lamont is made of.”

Lamont appears unsure and turns around looking for help. He calls for The American Screamer Howard Dean, “The Natural” Barack Obama, or anyone else from the Democratic side to come help him.  Like Schlesinger, no help arrives. “I think its safe to say that the ‘Joe-mentum’ is on Lieberman’s side now,” Suave says. Suddenly, another left wing blogger, Arianna Huffington, shrieks down the aisle towards the ring to help Lamont and runs into the manager of the Bomb Brothers Daisy Cutter-Bomb. Daisy lays her out with a wicked clothesline. Lieberman stomps his foot three times and sets him up for his closer.

LIEBERMAN’S GOING FOR THE ‘JOE-STOPPER!” Suave says.

Lamont turns around just in time to catch a superkick right to his chin. “That’s a pretty good kick for an old guy,” Suave cracks. “I didn’t think he could get his leg that high.” Lamont drops as if he’s been shot. Lieberman covers and that’s the match.

WINNER: JOE LIEBERMAN (I)

Huffington throws a fit and stomps around at ringside as Joe holds up his hand in victory.

Also from PCW Extreme Election Night 2006:

MATCH #4- BCEW TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH- PEACENIK #1 & 2 of the Green World Order (Democrat) vs. DRUNKEN LUCHADORS DAN & DON- THE FLYIN’ MARTINI BROTHERS (Independent)

Extreme attorneys Felcher and Felcher joins Johnny Suave at ringside. “Swell,”
he mumbles. Immediately Peacenik #1 complains about the Martini Brothers
drinking in the ring. Both Martini Brothers chug a bottle of Jack Daniels and
then break the bottle over their heads. “Yes, it’s a little unorthodox,” Suave
explains, “but hell, they’re the champions. They can do whatever they
want.”

Peacenik #1 and Don Martini to begin. Crowd chants for the Drunken Luchadors.  A brief lock up and an attempted knee by Peacenik #1 that whiffs
because Don staggers out of the way.  Peacenik #1 tries rights now, and then the
boots…and misses again. “Here we go again,” Suave says.

R Felcher yells at Don Martini to stand still.

Suave shoots back, “Yeah, easier said than done.”

Peacenik #1 gets frustrated and rushes at Don. He clips the Drunken Luchador and sends him to the canvas. The Felchers cheer at the announcer’s table. Peacenik #1 goes for a leg drop but Dan Martini pulls Don out of the way.

Apparently Dan is the more sober one tonight,” observes Suave.

A tag is made and Dan Martini gets into the ring. Peacenik #1 again tries to bull over Dan. Dan topples to the canvas and Peacenik #1 rams into the corner ringpost.

“Of course, I could be wrong,” Suave says.

Peacenik #1 staggers back to his corner and tags in Peacenik #2.

Dan Martini climbs to the top rope. Suave cringes. “Oooh, this can’t be a good thing.”

Peacenik #2 simply waits. Dan leaps off the top rope and misses Peacenik #2 completely. “Definitely, not a good thing,” Suave says as Peacenik #2 goes for the cover but somehow Dan kicks out. “In the interest of fairness, he should have let the Green World Order pin him,” whines R Felcher.

“Yes,” chimes in B Felcher. “Haven’t they been tag team champions long enough?”

The other two members of the Green World Order, The Vengeful Vegan Brock Cole Lee and Peta from PETA come down to the ring. Brock Cole Lee slips a bottle of chloroform and a handkerchief to Peacenik #1. “Now what are they up to!” asks Suave. “Justice!” offers R Felcher. “That bottle of chloroform represents justice for the Green World Order.”

Peacenik #1 motions #2 to throw Dan Martini into their corner. Peacenik #2 tries to lift the Drunken Luchador up- he’s dead weight. Finally, Brock Cole Lee interjects himself into the match and helps Peacenik #2 drag Dan to their corner.

“It’s all over!” gloats R Felcher. D Felcher concurs, “There’s no way that-”

“HERE COME THE BOMB BROTHERS!” interrupts Suave, AND THE RAVING REDNECKS-LOCKE AND LOADE!”

Suave quickly recaps how Felcher and Felcher used the judicial system to deny the Bomb Brothers or the Raving Rednecks from wrestling for the tag team title.

“This is not acceptable!” R Felcher says.

A-Bomb tears Peacenik #1 off the edge of the ring and slams him into the steel barricade. The bottle of chloroform drops on the floor and Earl Locke picks it up. He immediately uses it on Peacenik #1 and takes him out. Gary Loade bulldogs Brock Cole Lee and then Locke and Loade deliver a devastating 4-D Redneck Death Blast to the Vengeful Vegan. Peacenik #2 ducks out of the ring but runs into H-Bomb.

“Oh, oh!” Suave warns.

Peacenik #2 immediately runs back into the ring and inadvertently elbows Dan Martini in the stomach. Dan starts to look green.

HOLY CRAP! HE’S GOING FOR THEIR FINISHER!”

Suave says as Peacenik #2 gets a real concerned look. “Someone stop him,” R
Felcher says. Too late. Dan spews green mist…no too chunky…projectile vomits all over Peacenik #2.

“WOW!” Suave exclaims. “He must have ate a lot for supper tonight!”

Dan passes out and headbutts Peacenik #2. Peacenik #2 down and covered
by Drunken Luchador Dan. 1-2-3. Match.

WINNER AND STILL BCEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: THE DRUNKEN LUCHADORS, DAN AND DON- THE FLYING MARTINI BROTHERS

A-Bomb grabs R Felcher; Gary Loade grabs B Felcher.  Both Felchers are dragged unceremoniously into the ring.

“It’s been nice knowing you guys,” Suave says, “NOT!”

Locke and Loade deliver another 4-D Redneck Death Blast to B Felcher while A-Bomb and H-Bomb double-power A-Bombs R Felcher.

“And that my friends,” Suave says, “is what I call a happy ending.”

We’ll be back with a new episode of PCW Extreme Political TV next Monday night.

————————-

Why I Won’t Support Ron Paul – Steve Fleisher
Shock and Awww, Not Again! – Nonnie 999/Hysterical Raisans
Trump And Huckabee Out, Who Benefits The Most? – Sensico
“Le Great seducer”, Frenchman Dominique assaults SOFITAL chamber maid in $3,000 a night penthouse suite?! - Pan Am
Some Thoughts on Life Post-Osama - Rutherford Lawson Blog
Burden Shifting Is the Mark of Tyranny – Taxes, Stupidity, and Death
Romney dials for dollars – CNN Political Ticker
Huckabee decision puts evangelical votes up for grabs – CNN Political Ticker
Was he ever serious? How Trump strung the country along, again – CNN Political Ticker
Nearly 20 percent of new Obamacare waivers are gourmet restaurants, nightclubs, fancy hotels in Nancy Pelosi’s district – Daily Caller
How alleged Tea Party fraud Jack Davis came to run as the ‘Tea Party’ candidate in NY’s 26th district special election – Daily Caller
Paul Ryan: Newt Gingrich Misunderstood Medicare Plan – Huffington Post
Obama Tries To Fire Up Frustrated Supporters Ahead Of 2012 – Huffington Post
Ari Melber: In Rap Battle, Stewart Demolishes O’Reilly on O’Reilly Factor – Huffington Post
Huckabee Booster in South Carolina Shifts Support to Huntsman – Roll Call
House Freshman Berg Will Run for Senate in North Dakota – Roll Call
The Job Nobody Wants: GOP’s Growing 2012 Dropout List – Daily Beast
Campaign Surrogates Pose Challenge for Obama – Political Wire
Romney Raises More Than $10 Million in a Day – Political Wire
McConnell sees ‘great opportunity’ – Politico Live
Please Do Not Google the Name of This Undervalued Republican Candidate – Swampland
Trump exit signals end to silly season – Politico Live
Charter Schools, Trump, Huckabee, and Newt #EERS – Red State
Mitt Romney’s Vegas Payoff: Raises $10.25M In Day-Long Phone-a-Thon – The Note, ABC
What President Obama is telling high school graduates this year: ‘Being president is a great job’ - LA Times- Top of the Ticket
Rush Limbaugh on Newt Gingrich’s attack on Paul Ryan: ‘I’m as befuddled as anyone else’ – LA Times- Top of the Ticket
Open thread for night owls: Wall Street Still A Nest Of Criminality – Daily Kos
Trump’s lesson – Ben Smith/Politico
The Rebuke in Dubuque: Gingrich’s Rocky Campaign Start Somehow Gets Even Rockier – Michelle Malkin
Charles Krauthammer On Newt Gingrich: ‘He’s Done, It’s Over’ – Mediaite
Jon Stewart To Bill O’Reilly: ‘There Is A Selective Outrage Machine Here At Fox’ – Mediaite
The Daily Wrap – Daily Dish

Gawker: PCW Champion Republican Jill Berg Gave Man 27 Hickies While in College

The latest in a line of loser drunk guys collecting their 15 minutes of fame for allegedly scoring or nearly scoring with some Republican babe surfaced today.  First, Christine O’Donnell.  Second, Nikki Haley.  Now- PCW Champion Jill Berg…


Jill Berg

Max Ahoel, fellow college student, once went out on a date with Berg and apparently received 27 hickies from the future PCW Champion.  Ahoel complained that she wouldn’t let him get past first base and acted rather prudish.

Berg, after slamming Gawker for what she called their ‘situational sexism,’ responded that Ahoel was ‘falling down drunk’ that night, ‘a lousy kisser,’ ‘smelled funny,’ and had a small penis.

Ahoel could not be located for further comment.

The Reverend Oral Hinnrich of the God Squad condemned Berg for her promiscuity.  He promised to rid PCW of Berg and the poor example she made to ‘impressionable girls.’  The Reverend Buddy Flambe concurred with his God Squad teammate.

Said ‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave…


Johnny Suave and his life-size cardboard cut-out of Shania Twain

…”Well, at least she wasn’t stupid enough to take a picture of herself without her shirt on to hit on some chick on Craig’s List like a certain former Congressman did.


Former US Representative Christopher Lee

Keith Olbermann Joins Forces with Al Gore: PCW Extreme Political TV Recap

PCW Extreme Political TV
Roanoke Civic Center
Roanoke, VA
Monday February 7th, 2011
Host: Johnny Suave

Former MSNBC commentator Keith Olbermann…


Former MSNBC Left Wing Commentator Keith Olbermann

…comes out with his FOK News Channel posse in the form of David Schuster, Shannyn Moore, and Rachel Maddow…


David Schuster, Shannyn Moore


Rachel Maddow

…to the ring.

Olbermann: “You’re either with us; or you’re against us.  There’s no middle ground.  And if you’re against us, we have just two words for you- FOK YOU!”

Olbermann wants a title shot against Glenn Beck but he’s been told that he has to work his way up to it.  PCW offered to put him up against Ann Coulter; but Keith refuses to take on a conservative saying that it’s a ‘waste of time.’  So, who is Olbermann’s opponent tonight?


Howard Fineman of the Huffington Post

Suave sarcastically says he’s ‘convinced’ that Fineman will put up quite the ‘fight.’

Keith Olbermann vs. Howard Fineman
Olbermann and Fineman meet in the middle of the ring.  Olbermann says he doesn’t want to hurt Fineman…then…

The music of Fleetwood Mac’s “Don’t Stop” suddenly starts to play.

Suave: “HOLY CRAP! IS THAT WHO I THINK IT IS?”

The crowd explodes. A spotlight points out a plaid shirted man with a Singapore cane and a cup of mocha appears.

Suave: “IT’S HIM! HE’S HERE! HE’S BACK! HE’S THE TREE HUGGIN’, MOCHA CHUGGIN’, TOBACCO COMPANY BUGGIN’ ALPHA MALE AND ENVIROMENTAL EXTREME HARDCORE ICON…


The Extreme Environmental Hardcore Icon Al Gore

The crowd sings the chorus “Don’t stop, thinking about tomorrow.” Gore holds up his mocha, inside an environmentally friendly biodegradable container of course, and chugs it down. Then he spews it out of his mouth into the crowd and then crushes the paper container on his forehead in a manly fashion.

The Environmental Extreme Hardcore Icon walks down the steps to the main floor. At the bottom of the steps, Gore pulls out another container of mocha, guzzles it down, spews it into the crowd, and then smashes the container on his forehead. Gore then wades through the main floor crowd to the ring.  He climbs up on the apron, pulls out yet another cup of mocha, guzzles that one down, spews it into the crowd, and then smashes the container on his forehead.

Suave: “Say what you will about Al Gore. But the man knows how to make an entrance.”

Gore in the ring and starts nailing Fineman with Singapore caneshots.  Then Schuster, Moore, and Maddow join in and beatdown Fineman.   Olbermann walks over, puts his foot on Fineman’s chest.  1…2…3.

WINNER: Keith Olbermann @ 1:10

Post match, Olbermann and Gore join raised hands in celebration.    Gore gets on the mic and announces that Olbermann will be joining his Current TV cable network- currently available in 14 households.

From Monday night’s PCW Extreme Political TV:
…Daniel-San hits Triple R with a chairshot from behind but Chism takes him out and then pulls him by the hair up into the crowd.  They get directly above the aisleway. Chism taunts and just abandons Daniel-San who conveniently low blows him and then hits a chairshot and another on Chism to send him through the 3 tables below.  Golatta picks up a table and places it beneath the aisleway and Daniel-San nails a Swanton on Triple R through the table.  Daniel-San covers…1…2…3.

Backstage, Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid…


Nancy Pelosi (D) and Harry Reid (D)

…each try to convince Triple R…


Road Rage Randy (Triple R) (D)

…and ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism…


‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism

…to stop blaming each other for the tag team loss to the International Hit Squad last week.  Chism blames Triple R for not coming to his aid late in the match when he was put through three tables by Daniel-San.  Triple R blames Chism for being careless in getting put through three tables by Daniel-San and not being able to stop him from putting Triple R through a table.

Suave notes that both have PCW title aspirations and it was just a matter of time before their egos clashed.

Pelosi and Reid hold an impromptu press conference and confirm that they’ve spoken to both men and hope to keep both in the Democratic fold.

Newcomer Ray ‘Tin Cup’ McAvay (I) comes out to a good reaction for a match and promo. He says it’s great that a washed up golf pro working at a driving range can come into PCW and compete.  McAvay calls PCW the most democratic wrestling federation there is.  He says he’s focused.  “I am! This is my quest! This is my stand for the guys who’ve had their fill of soulless robots like Jill Berg.”

McAvay’s friend Tromeo then reminds him: “She may be a soulless robot, but she’s a rich, happy, successful, soulless robot… with the PCW Title.”

Tin Cup Ray McAvay (I) vs. Nic Koteen (Tea Party)
McAvay defeated Koteen with the Driver @ 7:36.

Backstage, Charlie Blackwell…


Charlie Blackwell (I)

…confronts his tag team partner ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido…


‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido (I)

…over remarks he made about Blackwell’s focus and dedication.  Blackwell admitted that Escondido was right.  With his recent marriage to Kenzie Blair and other things going on in his life, Blackwell let a few things slip.  Blackwell vows to get back on track and wants to make a difference.

Blackwell: “Look, I don’t hate anyone’s guts. But I passionately believe that Olbermann is just as much to blame as Coulter, Limbaugh, Beck et al for ratcheting up the over the top divisive rhetoric. And the thing is, they don’t care about what really matters here. The house next to mine that’s sit empty for over 2 years now. The plethora of Sheriff’s sales of foreclosed homes I read in the newspaper. Flatlined wages. Rising cost of living. Keith Olbermann doesn’t care about any of that. He just wants to win the argument. And so does Limbaugh, Coulter, and Beck.”

Escondido is pleased and shakes his partner’s hand.

MAIN EVENT FOR THE PCW TELEVISION TITLE

Ken Worth-The American Trucker (I) w/Tequila Sheila

vs.

‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R) (c)

They lock up for a test of strength and Scott backs Worth into the corner. Clean break. Kick to the leg of the champ. Worth shoots for the leg but The American Citizen sprawls. They mat wrestle for position and keep trading. Up to their feet without a break in the action and Worth goes to grab the leg of Scott in the corner, and he breaks before the ref gets 5. Arm wrench by Scott, Worth rolls through, but Scott pulls back and has him down. Worth back up and cartwheels through, kicks the hand, locks the arm, and ends up with a chinlock. Scott bars the arm and wrenches over his shoulder. Worth gets the leg and ends up with his seated inverted surfboard stretch. Rolls over for a pin attempt but Scott gets the same hold instead back on Worth. The American Trucker rolls over and gets an Indian Deathlock! Drops for pressure a few times before bridging back for a MUTA LOCK before Scott gets out. Front facelock on Scott and he gets the rope. Scott goes for a Cattle Mutilation but The American Trucker gets an Ankle Lock instead. Scott’s back in the ropes.  Scott takes a cheap shot with the forearm in the corner on Worth. CROSS ARMBREAKER but The American Citizen’s in the ropes again. Worth gets the arm and hits some kicks to the chest before getting an trapped arm cloverleaf! Ropes again. The American Citizen up and takes some kicks to the chest. Worth goes for a pin and gets 2. Kimura turned into a cross armbreaker and another rope break. The American Trucker works the arm and then both men end up on the outside..

Worth hits a running boot to Scott against the barricade. “The American Trucker” chant. Another boot on the other side!  Worth breaks the count and rolls Scott back in. The American Citizen rolls out to the other side and hits a nice Enziguiri on Worth once he chases. Worth pulled outside and Scott hits a boot of his own against the barricade. Worth rolled in and Scott FINALLY has control in the match. Snapmare on Worth and trapping elbow strikes by Scott. Worth kicks his way out, but Scott follows him to the corner and sticks boots to him. Worth fights out, runs the ropes, but gets hit with a one legged dropkick. Scott fishhooks Worth. Tries to lock a submission in but Worth has the rope. Back to their feet and chops by The American Citizen. Elbow drop on a downed Worth gets 2. Body scissors by Scott. Goes for some chokes, but also has to avoid some pins. A few kickouts but Worth frees himself from the hold. They trade strikes. Worth goes for a handspring Enziguiri, but Scott gets a baseball slide to the upside-down challenger’s face! They’re now both on the apron and Worth fights out of a belly-to-back-suplex attempt. Scott lifts him up but Worth gets in the ring and dropkicks Scott to the outside. Baseball slide attempt but Scott gets back to the ring. Worth hits him and gets a running kick across the back of Scott, sending him back to the floor. TOPE CON HILO TO SCOTT!! Worth lands in the audience! Rolls Scott back in the ring and heads up top! MISSILE DROPKICK! Worth goes for a running elbow strike, but is met with a boot! They exchange strikes! The American Trucker gets an Enziguiri and a Saito suplex! 1….2…no! BUT HE HAS A KIMURA!! Scott rolls to alleviate the pressure. They struggle for a vertical suplex. No one gets it and Worth hits boots before a big forearm from Scott! Boot from Worth! ALARM CLOCK! This time he hits the running forearm to the corner! Running kick! Up top, DIVING HEADBUTT!! 1….2….KICKOUT! Worth goes for a suplex but turns it over into a cross armbreaker!! Scott turns it over and gets his foot on the rope.

Back up and more strike exchanges. Falcon arrow from The American Citizen gets 2! Big suplex from Scott gets another 2.  Ankle Lock on Worth! “Please don’t tap” says Manhattan. Worth gets the ropes. “Let’s go Trucker”. The American Citizen is going for the Gibson Driver, but The American Trucker gets out. Forearm exchange! Yay! Boo! Yay! Boo! Open palms to the faces! Kicks to Scott in the corner! Chops to Worth in the corner! Re-reversed! RE-REVERSED! MORE KICKS FROM WORTH! Big kick to the back from Worth! Running kick to the face of The American Citizen who was seated! GERMAN SUPLEX!! 1….2….NO! ” The American Trucker” chants as both men rest. Worth poised up top, but Scott gets chops on him. Repositions Worth for something big. Worth drops to the apron and nails Scott with a kick! Scott up top and Worth goes for a belly-to-back superplex!! “Worth” chants but he can’t make it to the pin. Worth picks up Scott and gets a combo before a HUGE lariat! 1….2….kickout by Scott! Spinning heel kick! KICK TO THE HEAD!! 1….2……….2.9998!!! SCOTT GETS AN ANKLE LOCK! “Tap tap tap tap tap!” HE TAPS!!!!….but the ref was distracted by Tequila Sheila on the apron!!! Scott scares Sheila off the apron and goes up top! SHOOTING STAR PRESS BY THE AMERICAN CITIZEN!!! 1….2……..HE KICKED OUT!!!!!! CAPS LOCK!!!!

Worth puts Scott back up top but Scott fights back. Worth drops him to the apron! Scott hits a kick though! Worth up top and Scott hits a half-nelson backbreaker from the top rope!!! 1….2….NO!! “The American Trucker!” Both men on the apron! Gibson Driver attempted but a kick by Worth! Scott then Belly-to-Back drops Worth THROUGH THE TIME KEEPER’S TABLE!! PICKS HIM UP IMMEDIATELY AND HITS A GIBSON DRIVER ON THE OUTSIDE AND THROWS HIM INTO THE CROWD!!  Tequila Sheila helps Worth climb back in and Scott hits a gutbuster and a Gibson Driver! 1….2….KICKOUT ROLLED OVER INTO AN ANKLE LOCK! “Please don’t tap!”  Worth makes the ropes.   But Scott slaps on the ankle lock again!  WORTH TURNS IT INTO A CLOVERLEAF!!!! Turned over into a LeBell Lock! Worth gets the closest roll-up I’ve ever seen!!!!!!! Both men up. Clothesline from Worth! Forearm from Scott! Two spinning heel kicks from Worth! They trade 2 counts! Worth has a leg hold on Scott but falls off in exhaustion! Ref checks on the condition of Worth but Scott gets a knee and a backbreaker! Another backbreaker! 1….2….KICKOUT!! Vertical Suplex into a backbreaker and a sick kick!!! 1…..2……KICKOUT!!!! Scott gets a Cattle Mutiliation on Worth.   Worth in no man’s land in the middle of the ring and finally taps out.

WINNER AND STILL PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION: ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott @ 33:30

Suave: “GREAT MATCH!”

Night of Champions Set, Christine O’Donnell Bewitches: 9/20 PCW Extreme Political TV Recap

PCW Extreme Political TV on P-SPAN (2 hours)
Gale Bullman All-Purpose Building
Rolla, MO
Monday September 20th


by Paige McGillicutty

First, to Maricopa County, Arizona.

‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann, who was arrested last week for hiring ‘non-documented wrestlers,’ works in the desert wearing a pink jumpsuit.  Mr. McMann says that this is no way treat a ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ much less the CEO of the Corporation of Domination.  It’s disgraceful that he’s been forced to do manual labor when there’s perfectly good peons willing to work for minimum wage.

Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio…


Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio

…shows up with some visitors- the Island of Misfit Wrestlers!  Leader Movie Classic brings the former PCW wrestlers to McMann and lectures him on how the Misfits lost their gig at PCW, can’t find work, and it’s an insult to them when he uses ‘non-documented’ professional wrestlers.  McMann tells them to @#$# off!  Snott Flemmstein shoots simulated snot from his oversized, prosthetic nose and coats Mr. McMann with it.  Ivan Rectum, Fighting Proctologist puts on his ‘rubber glove of justice.’  McMann screams ‘Get me out of here!’

MATCH #1- Winner gets a shot at the PCW Television Title next week at Night of Champions


Doug ‘King Kong’ Kingman (R)
vs.

SNAFU (I-American Heartland )

SNAFU maintained control for much of the match and really took it to Kingman.  More so than many others.  Kingman KILLS SNAFU with a Kingman Krunch and the ref tries to stop the match for his own good.  SNAFU became OFFENDED so we get a restart.  Kingman then kindly drops SNAFU with a German and the Grand Slam to get the pin.  fellow Republicans Josh Jackson and Nick Ray hit the ring as Kingman doesn’t break the hold to offer their help.  PCW Television Champion Ken Worth- The American Trucker  makes the save, but after watching SNAFU take a sick Grand Slam from Kingman, he decides his friendship with  didn’t mean enough.  ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido and Charlie Blackwell also run out to chase away the Republicans. Blackwell and Escondido check on SNAFU.

WINNER: Doug Kingman @ 11:31

Jill-Berg…


Jill Berg

…met with the Tea Party’s Christine McDonnell…


Christine O’Donnell (R)

…Berg had made a pact with Nancy Pelosi (D)…


Nancy Pelosi (D)

…in which she would get a PCW Title shot at Extreme Election Night 2010 unopposed as long as Berg defeated Triple R tonight.  Berg wanted the PCW Title in the worst possible way, but now with the return of former PCW Champion Stone Chism and his new adviser Stephen Hawking…


Stephen Hawking

…she needed extra insurance to make sure she would be safe.  And now Berg, flanked by her bodyguards joined forces with O’Donnell and ‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin…


Sarah Palin (R)

…to battle Triple R and the Democrats.  O’Donnell asked her if she wanted her to magically turn Pelosi into a frog.  Berg looked at her quizzically and said that it wasn’t necessary.

Arizona Governor Jan Brewer then walks out…


Gov. Jan Brewer (R-AZ)

…and denounces Hillary Clinton…

Hillary Clinton (D)

…and PCW CEO Barack Obama’s legal aide Eric Holder for filing suit against Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio.  Clinton comes out and tells Brewer that the suit was filed because of ‘Arpaio’s refusal to cooperate with a federal probe into allegations of discrimination and illegal searches and seizures by the sheriff’s office.’  Brewer and Clinton begin to bicker back and forth until ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann’s corporate counsel Felcher and Felcher walk out and demand that McMann be released from Arpaio’s custody.

Clinton, Felcher and Felcher head to the back to discuss the situation.

MATCH #2 Winner gets a shot at the PCW Tag Team Title next week at Night of Champions


‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido and Charlie Blackwell w/Kenzie Blair (I-American Heartland)

vs.
Al Cahall and NRA w/Christine O’Donnell and Andrea Doria (Tea Party)
vs.


‘Foul Pole’ Andy Golatta and Daniel-San w/Mrs. Miyagi (I)

Before the match, ring announcer Kimber Marshall…


Kimber Marshall

…made a rather strange announcement.

Kimber Marshall – Ladies and gentlemen, referee Ron Martin announces that Christine O’Donnell will NOT be allowed to use her ‘special’ powers.

Johnny Suave – Special powers?  What the hell does he mean by that?

After the bell rings, O’Donnell stares at Charlie Blackwell and he stops and stares back.

Johnny Suave – Oh…not the whole ‘witch’ thing again!

NRA slides in behind Blackwell and rolls him up.  Martin counts to 3 and Escondido and Blackwell are eliminated.

Blackwell’s fiancee Kenzie Blair explodes and takes out McDonnell with her ‘Wrestling Managers for Dummies’ book.

HOUR TWO

Andy Golatta attacks, but eats a superkick and then a DDT by Al Cahall for a near fall.  NRA doubleteams with Cahall and repeatedly try to keep Golatta on the floor.  Daniel-San busts out a springboard to the floor onto the Tea Partiers.  Christine O’Donnell tries to get involved again.  Daniel-San bends O’Donnell over his knee and spanks her to pop the crowd.   Golatta nearly gets the pin after destroying Cahall with his low blow ‘Foul Pole’ punch.  Then Nic Koteen and Grizzly Adam hit the ring and takeout Golatta.  Daniel-San nails Koteen with a DDT on the chair.  NRA gets involved and gets beat down for his troubles by Daniel-San.  Golatta makes the cover again on NRA but ‘The Princess of Political Incorrectness’ Andrea Doria makes the save with eleventy hundred cane shots.  This gets Mrs. Miyagi involved for the first time and she and Doria argue.  Meanwhile, Golatta PILLMANIZES NRA’s balls with another low blow.

Al Cahall returned and hit Golatta with a chair.  Daniel-San jumps in and hits a double sidewalk slam on Cahall and NRA.   Golatta then powerbombed Cahall.  Doria and Mrs. Miyagi get into a CAT-FIIIIIIIIIIGHT!  An angry Charlie Blackwell came back out and nailed Al Cahall, NRA, and then Andrea Doria with chairs.  Blackwell went to hit Golatta, but the ‘Foul Pole’ blocked it and Blackwell wisely backed down.  Blackwell then grabbed Christine O’Donnell and drug her to the back.

In the confusion, Golatta nailed NRA again with a ‘Foul Pole’ and scored the pin.

WINNER: Andy Golatta and Daniel-San @ 26:09

Jill-Berg and her bodyguards…


Jill Berg (R)

…and Triple R…


Triple R (Road Rage Randy) (D)

…walk out with Nancy Pelosi to sign the contract for next week’s match at PCW Night of Champions.  As Berg climbs into the ring, former PCW Champion Stone Chism (D) makes his way out.  He says for the sake of all of us, he cannot let this happen.  Jill-Berg doesn’t deserve a title shot because Chism has never got his rematch with Yamamoto Tanaka for the PCW title.

Pelosi reminds Chism that he’s been booked tonight to face Kevin Scott (R) for a shot at Tanaka next week at Night of Champions.  Jill-Berg would face the winner at November’s PCW Extreme Election Night.  The World’s Smartest Man Stephen Hawking then rolls out and reminds Chism in his digital voice that he already knew that because he is the World’s Smartest Man.  Hawking and Chism take their leave and Berg and Triple R get down to business.  Berg signs first.

Triple R demands his ‘title’ and states he shouldn’t have to wrestle Berg, which doesn’t sit well with Pelosi.  Triple R says that if Berg beats him at Extreme Election Night, he will give it back.  Pelosi says that’s not happening.  After a few tense moments, Triple R finally signs off and the match is set.

——————-

Backstage, Charlie Blackwell has Christine O’Donnell locked inside a cage in order to determine if she’s a witch or not.  O’Donnell, appearing on comedian Bill Maher’s “Politically Incorrect” show, made comments to the effect that she dabbled in witchcraft when she was a teenager.  O’Donnell tries to reason with Charlie that those comments were made when she was 19.  “How many of you did not hang out with questionable folks in high school?  There’s been no witchcraft since. If there was, Karl Rove would be a supporter now.”

And besides, O’Donnell reminded Blackwell that she said this on ‘Politically Incorrect’- a show that was not exactly “The News Hour.” You go on a comedy show, you try to say something funny. Or outrageous. Mission accomplished.  Finally, Blackwell relents and lets her go.

MATCH #3 The winner gets a shot at the PCW Title next week.


‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott w/Justin Sufferable (R)
vs.
‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D)

Scott wants another title shot and comes out swinging.  Belly to back suplex by Scott gets 2.  Chism mocks Scott, who fights back, but a dropkick by Chism takes him down.  Chism then chokes him in the ropes, stands on his back and then slams him.  Scott counters into a small package for 2.  A clothesline by Chism gets 2.  Chism works the headlock now, chops follow.  Reverse by Scott.  He sends Chism into the ropes and lands the boot.  Scott fires up, clothesline and then a dropkick.  Boot by Chism to a charging Scott.  Bulldog follows.  Chism goes top rope…splash misses.   Scott fights, presses up.  Chism is irate and argues with the ref.  Scott slides in, sunset flip for 2, counters now, figure four try,  Chism spins him, GO TO SLEEP!  1…2…3!

WINNER: Stone Chism @ 12:22

Darth Vader Robs Bank: Republicans Blame It on Obama Policies


Paige McGillicutty

Paige McGillicutty here with a PCW News update.

We’re sure by now that you’ve seen the sad pictures of once feared second in command to Emperor Palpatine in the First Galactic Empire, Darth Vader, was caught on camera robbing a bank with just a gun.

Vader reportedly left with a substantial amount of cash and then left the premises.

Republicans immediately blamed Obama policies for the former Dark Lord’s desperate act.

J.D. Hayworth from Arizona had this to say:


J.D. Hayworth

“It’s a sad state of affairs when a former high ranking official in the First Galactic Empire is reduced to becoming a common bank thief.  Darth Vader used to be a dark, foreboding, and downright ruthless figure.   Now he can’t afford to maintain his lightsaber and has to use a gun to pull off the robbery.  What does that say about Barack Obama’s policies?  When I defeat John McCain, a man who’s probably just as old as Emperor Palpatine, I will fight against Obama’s economic programs with vigor and force…well no, not that force…but you know what I mean.”

John McCain responded:


John McCain

“J.D. Hayworth’s weak attempt to associate himself with the force is another  example of how desperate he’s become.”

August 24th is PCW’s Showdown in the Desert.  McCain vs. Hayworth.  One night after the Lock and Load Pay Per View.

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