5/24-Political Championship Wrestling on P-SPAN

Main Event:#8-Cadillac and Jaguar (Domination Inc.) vs.#1-Jack Schett and Bull Schett (Ron Paul’s New Libertarian Army)

Plus:#7-’Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee and GreenPete (Green World Order) vs.#2-Grizzly Adam and Hunter the Hunter (SarahPAC)

#6-The Bipartisan Dream Team: Blue Dog D (Progressive Alliance) and RINO (American Patriots) vs.#3-Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit (DIck Cheney’s Extreme Neo-Con Alliance

#5- Starz N. Stripes and ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido (Progressive Alliance) vs.#4-’Raving Rednecks’ Locke and Loade (American Heartland Coalition)

———————–

Concerto for Trumpet, no. 2 by Johann Melchior Molter (1696-1765) plays as an introduction…

Stuffy Announcer Type: And now, it’s time for Political Championship Wrestling on P-SPAN. Tonight’s program comes to you live from the former ECW Arena in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

Crowd: “PCW…PCW…PCW!” Charlene Ann Beckworth climbs into the ring. Charlene Ann: “Ladies and gentlemen. To pay tribute to the men and women in our armed forces and the ones who have given the ultimate sacrifice- their lives, to protect our liberties, Political Championship Wrestling would you to rise in a moment of silence and then a 10 bell salute will follow.”

Moment of Silence.

1o Bell Salute.

Toby Keith Music Video ‘American Soldier’

Charlene Ann: “Thank you. Our first match tonight is a quarterfinal match in the PCW Tag Team Tournament to determine a new champion. On their way to the ring at this time, accompanied by PeaceNick and Peta from PETA, ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee and GreenPete- The Green World Order!!! Crowd: “BOOOOOOOO!” Lee and GreenPete climb into the ring. Charlene Ann: “Their opponents represent SarahPAC. Accompanied to the ring by the Alaskan Pitbull Sarah Palin, it’s the team of Grizzly Adam and Hunter the Hunter!”

MATCH #1- PCW Tag Team Tournament Quarterfinal
‘Extreme Vegan’ BROCK COLE LEE and GREENPETE w/Peta from PETA and PeaceNick (Green World Order) vs.
HUNTER the HUNTER and GRIZZLY ADAM w/’The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin (SarahPAC)

*The bell rings* Brock Cole Lee comes out quickly and punches Hunter the Hunter over and over. Lee with a kneeling headbutt to Hunter’s groin and then an arm wrench. Hunter maneuvers Lee to his corner and tags in Grizzly Adam. Grizzly Adam gouges Lee’s eyes out. Lee bails and makes the tag to GreenPete who brings in a chair. GreenPete opens up the chair…Grizzly Adam is thrown into the ropes…Drop Toe Hold onto the open chair! GreenPete tags Brock Cole Lee back in. Lee applies an arm wrench and then hooks the leg. Referee Ron Martin makes the count. …1 Grizzly Adam kicks out. Grizzly Adam makes it back to the corner and tags in Hunter the Hunter.

Lee grabs Hunter and applies an arm wrench. Crowd: “BORE-RING…BORE-RING!” Lee flips off the crowd and gets caught with a Suplex by Hunter. Lee’s head slams into the chair!! Hunter drags Lee to the floor. Hunter the Hunter applies an arm wrench to Brock Cole Lee. Grizzly Adam nails Lee with another chair. Peta from PETA runs around the ring and starts screeching at Grizzly Adam. The Alaskan Pitbull Sarah Palin and her everpresent hockey stick moves towards Peta. Peta hightails it back to the other side. Crowd: “SARAH’S GOING TO KILL YOU! (clap, clap clap-clap-clap), SARAH’S GOING TO KILL YOU (clap, clap, clap-clap-clap) Hunter takes Lee back into the ring. Hunter the Hunter applies an arm wrench takedown to Lee and tags in Grizzly Adam. Grizzly throws a table in and Hunter sets it up. Grizzly Adam then gorilla press slams Brock Cole Lee thru the table! Hunter then drags Brock Cole Lee up…Fall Away Slam on the chair!!

Lee trys for a hotshot but is not strong enough to lift Hunter the Hunter. He kicks Hunter in the groin and escapes through the ropes. GreenPete sneaks in the ring. He cuts Hunter with a blade. Blood starts flowing from Hunter’s forehead. Russian Leg Sweep by Hunter and GreenPete’s face slams directly into the chair. Hunter covers but GreenPete isn’t the legal man in the ring. GreenPete bites Hunter the Hunter’s arm out of desparation and then scampers out of the ring. Hunter follows this time and gets clocked by Brock Cole Lee. Lee bulldog’s Hunter on the floor. Peta from PETA sets up a table while PeaceNick protests the violent nature of the match. Hunter the Hunter gets back to his feet. Lee DDT’s Hunter through the table.

GreenPete lariats Hunter. Brock Cole Lee sets up another table in the ring. PeaceNick climbs on the apron to protest. GreenPete throws Hunter back in the ring. Hunter the Hunter tries to tag in Grizzly Adam but Lee intercepts him and hits an inverted atomic drop. Grizzly Adam in and and Lee battle. ‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin runs in and clotheslines Brock Cole Lee. Peta from PETA jumps up and wraps a power cord around Hunter’s neck. Hunter backs Peta into Ron Martin and takes out the referee. Grizzly Adam power slams Lee. Hunter pulls himself up and sets a chair on Brock Cole Lee. Grizzly Adam lands a splash on the chair. Hunter sets the bear trap up in the corner. PeaceNick and Peta from PETA climb into the ring. Grizzly Adam piledrives GreenPete. Now Lee pulls himself up. Hunter picks up the chair and cracks it over Lee’s head. Lee is busted open. PeaceNick tries to use chloroform on Hunter. Hunter spins him upside down and piledrives him. Grizzly Adam hits Lee with an elbow drop from the second turnbuckle. Peta punches Hunter repeatedly. Palin grabs Peta by the hair and whips her to the corner of the ring. *SNAP* Bear Trap! Bear Trap! Peta tries remove the bear trap from her ankles. Crowd: “PCW!…PCW!…PCW!”

Hunter sets the chair on Lee’s face…another second rope leg drop! Hunter covers. One. Two. Three.

Charlene Ann: “The winners of this match, Grizzly Adam and Hunter the Hunter! They will face the winner of the upcoming match between the Bipartisan Dream Team- Blue Dog D and RINO vs. Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit.”

———————

COMMERCIAL TIME

The Titan Zone A social network about e-wrestling. Meet and get to know the Titans of the e-wrestling world!

UPCOMING EVENTS: OTHER E-FEDERATIONS:

Time: May 24, 2009 from 7pm to 10:30pm
Location: Alerus Center in Grand Forks, North Dakota

http://www.dreamwrestling.com/

Time: May 25, 2009 at 10pm to May 26, 2009 at 12am
Location: The Best Arena Chicago, IL

http://www.howrestling.com/

—————–

PCW Newsline with Gina Ramsey

Gina: “Hey y-all. It’s Gina Ramsey at PCW Control. It’s ON! O’Beck Bahama will put his PCW Title on the line at PCW Loose Cannons Unleashed 5 against Domination Inc’s ‘Seven Foot Tall Weapon of Mass Destruction’ Big Monster Wahlie! The other matches that signed are:

-Obviously, the championship match of the tag team title to detemine the new PCW Tag Team champions.-Angry Left Wing Bloggers (Progressive Alliance) vs. Right Wing Brigadiers (American Patriots)

-3 Way Dance for the PCW Women’s Title: Kathryn Randall Collins aka…KRC (Progressive Alliance) vs. Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (SarahPAC) vs. PCW Women’s Champion ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin (American Heartland Coalition)

The matches join the Janeane Garofalo (Progressive Alliance)/’Queen of Political Extreme’ Ann Coulter Grudge Cage Deathmatch.”

————————-

Charlene Ann: Our next match is another quarterfinal match in the Tag Team tournament. In this corner, managed by Kirsten Gillibrand of the Progressive Alliance and Susan Collins from the American Patriots, Blue Dog D and RINO-Republican in Name Only- The Bi-Partisan Dream Team! Gillibrand holds up Blue Dog D’s arm; Collins holds up RINO’s. Charlene Ann: “Their opponents, representing Dick Cheney’s Extreme Neo-Con Alliance, with ‘The Mastermind’ Karl Rove in their corner, the team of Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit- Wall Street Market Analyst with the man crush on ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit!” Rove leads Big Oil and Walstreit to the ring. Walstreit holds up his autographed picture of Kirk Herbstreit. Charlene Ann: “Davey Keels is your referee for this match.”

MATCH #2 PCW Tag Team Tournament Quarterfinal
BLUE DOG D w/Kirsten Gillibrand (Progressive Alliance) and RINO-Republican in Name Only w/Susan Collins (American Patriots)- The Bipartisan Dream Team vs.
BIG OIL and KIRK WALSTREIT- Wall Street Market Analyst with the man crush on ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit w/”The Mastermind” Karl Rove (Dick Cheney’s Extreme Neo-Con Alliance)
“The Mastermind” Karl Rove points to his temple to make sure everyone knows he’s a friggin’ genius. The bell rings. Kirk Walstreit goes on the offensive immediately. He places Blue Dog D on the turnbuckle and executes a front-layout suplerplex. Blue Dog D pops right back up and nails Walstreit with a pumphandle suplex. Walstreit comes back with a clothesline. Walstreit then chops Blue Dog D. Blue Dog D chops him back. Walstreit chops him again. Blue Dog D chops him back. Walstreit goes for another chop, Blue Dog D evades it, spins Walstreit around, and atomic drops him. Blue Dog D tags RINO in. Walstreit tries to chop RINO- RINO kicks Kirk Walstreit in the groin. Blue Dog D back in and nails Walstreit with a front-layout suplex. Crowd: “Blue Dog D! Blue Dog D!” chants start. ]

Blue Dog D tagged back in. Walstreit goes for a headlock takedown but Blue Dog D slips out of the move. Walstreit tags in Big Oil. Blue Dog D dives head first into Big Oil and bounces off him. Blue Dog D drags himself up. Big Oil throws him out to the floor. RINO runs around and throws a chair at Big Oil. Big Oil catches the chair and slams it on Blue Dog D. Big Oil pulls Blue Dog D up and clotheslines him. Blue Dog D staggers up and tries for a shoulderbreaker. No go. Big Oil drives Blue Dog D to the floor with a clubbing right hand to the top of his head. Big Oil takes Blue Dog D by the hair and heaves him back in the ring.

Big Oil chops Blue Dog D. RINO in the ring and hits the front-layout suplex on Big Oil. RINO stomps away at the big guy while Kirsten Gillibrand and Susan Collins slide a table into the Blue Dog D gets the table up and RINO German suplexes Big Oil through it! RINO wraps his legs around Big Oil’s neck and puts him in the figure-four sleeper. Davey Keels asks Big Oil if he quits. … Big Oil fights the hold. … RINO tightens the hold. Big Oil tries to stand up. No go. Walstreit in the ring and breaks the hold. They lockup. RINO puts Walstreit through another table that Collins and Gillibrand hastily set up.

Randy ‘Road Rage’ Richardson aka…Quadruple R, runs to the ring. Quad R hits a low blow on RINO and then piledrives him. The crowd boos Richardson. Quad R slingshot facebusters Blue Dog D and slams his face to the mat. Big Oil moves back to his feet. Big Oil forearm smashes RINO. Big Oil follows up with a power bomb. Big Oil sets RINO up…and delivers an Oklahoma Driller on him. Cover. One. Two. Three.

Charlene Ann: “Your winner- Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit!”

Crowd: “Bulls***! Bulls***!” Big Oil and Hat Guy of ECW fame jaw at each other as he and Walstreit leave.

It’ll be Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit vs. Grizzly Adam and Hunter the Hunter in one semi-final next Sunday night.

—————–

PCW Newsline with Gina Ramsey

Gina: “Hey y’all. Gina Ramsey back with some breaking news. This was posted earlier on the HOTv website.”

HOTv- High Octane TV
“New Member Federations..
SWF and PCW have joined the HOTv family..stay tuned as more information is made available over the holiday weekend.”

Gina: “What does this mean for PCW? We will find out more Wednesday night on PCW Extreme Political TV when PCW CEO Barack Obama addresses this issue. PCW Press Secretary Robert Gibbs advises that a press release could be forthcoming as early as tomorrow. The following matches are still to come:

#5- Starz N. Stripes and ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido (Progressive Alliance) vs.#4-’Raving Rednecks’ Locke and Loade (American Heartland Coalition)

Main Event:#8-Cadillac and Jaguar (Domination Inc.) vs.#1-Jack Schett and Bull Schett (Ron Paul’s New Libertarian Army)

———————

COMMERCIAL TIME:

The E-Wrestling Magazine is the home for all the latest news on e-federations all across the country. Check out all the latest stories on PCW and other great e-federations:

Hostility: A Look at the Ascension to Heaven Match at South of Heaven Sunday, 24 May 2009 (/)
FWL Friday Night FUSION Match Results Saturday, 23 May 2009 (/)
5/22-PCW Newsline Friday, 22 May 2009 (/)
nbW Returns this Memorial Day! Friday, 22 May 2009 (/)
Caldweller’s ACW Courage 5/7/09 Report Thursday, 21 May 2009 (/)

————–

Charlene Ann: “And now, quarterfinal match number three. In this corner, representing the Progressive Alliance, with ‘Rahm-bo’ Rahm Emanuel in their corner- ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido and Starz N. Stripes! Escondido and Starz wave to the crowd. Charlene Ann: “And their opponents, from the American Heartland Coalition, accompanied by Tequila Sheila, Gary Locke, Earl Loade- they are the Raving Rednecks- Locke and Loade!” Locke and Loade come to the ring with Tequila Sheila as Toby Keith’s ‘Who’s Your Daddy’ blares.

MATCH #3 PCW Tag Team Tournament Quarterfinal
‘No Frills’ CHRIS ESCONDIDO and STARZ N. STRIPES w/Rahm Emanuel (Progressive Alliance) vs.
THE RAVING REDNECKS LOCKE and LOADE w/Tequila Sheila (American Heartland Coalition)

The bell rings and Locke launches himself at Starz. Starz whips Locke into the ropes and then hits a pumphandle slam. Locke trys for a Ace Crusher, Starz reverses into a Half Nelson. Locke back kicks Starz in the groin and covers. One…Starz easily escapes. Starz rakes his fingers across Locke’s back. Locke responds with a Russian Leg Sweep. Locke misses a leg drop. Starz rolls to his corner and tags in Escondido. Starz punches Locke. Escondido swoops in and suplexes Locke. Bulldog by Escondido followed by an arm grapevine submission. Locke escapes and tags in Loade.

Loade hits a double leg takedown on Escondido and follows with a corkscrew legdrop. Starz in and clotheslines Loade. Starz sends Loade to the corner of the ring. Rahm Emanuel gets a couple cheap shots in before Starz hits Loade with the back of his elbow. Locke in and nails Starz from behind. Locke sidewalk slams Starz. Escondido gives Loade a face buster. Loade eats a diving elbow smash from Escondido. Starz tags in Escondido and then drives Loade to the floor again with a double arm DDT.

Escondido trades punches with Locke. Escondido hits a Back Suplex and tags Starz. Locke looks for a tag to Loade but Loade is nowhere to be found. Locke moves back to his feet. Starz tries for a single arm DDT Locke avoids it. Starz then sends Locke to ringside. Starz takes his time on the ring apron and Locke springboard DDT’s him onto the floor! Locke follows with an elbowdrop and then a fist drop. Locke heads back into the ring. Loade knees Starz and finally rolls back to his feet.

Locke waits for Starz to return. Escondido slides into the ring and nails Locke with an inverted DDT. Escondido slides right back out. Locke makes it to the corner and tags Loade in. Starz also back in the ring. He hits a snap mare takeover on Loade and then a corkscrew legdrop. Starz quickly tags Escondido back in and he applies an arm wrench to Loade. Loade reverses and then tags Locke back in. Loade holds Escondido so Locke cinch in a belly-to-back suplex. Escondido gets up and kicks Locke in the groin. Escondido tags Starz back in. Starz goes for a German suplex but Locke reverses to a double arm DDT. Loade comes in and hits an Ace Crusher on Starz.

Escondido in and drives his forearm into the back of Loade’s neck. Escondido then measures Loade up and drops a closed fist. Starz puts a chair on Loade’s head…leg drop on the chair. Loade is busted open. Cover. One…Locke kicks Starz off Loade. Locke follows up with the crotch slam. Rahm Emanuel hits the ring and legsweeps Locke. He sets up for the F-Bomb but Tequila Sheila comes in and rakes Emanuel’s face. Loade gets hit with a diving elbow smash from Escondido. Escondido with another fist drop on Loade. He goes over the top…CATTLE MUTILATION! The crowd goes wild. Loade taps out.

Charlene Ann: “The winners of this match and moving on in the tag team tournament- ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido and Starz-”

*DOMINATION INC.’S MISSION STATEMENT IS THE COMPLETE TAKEOVER OF POLITICAL CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING BY ANY AND ALL MEANS!*

The crowd stands and boos loudly as ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann, his Corporate Bodyguard Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, CFO Gordon Guyko, Corporate Legal Felcher and Felcher, Corporate Security Rough Justice: D.B. Ruff and Connor Justice- two former police officers fired for their extreme style of law enforcement, and Cadillac and Jaguar walk to the ring. Charlene Ann leaves as Domination Inc. takes over the ring. Debris fly into the ring.

McMann: “Thank you…thank you for the warm reaction. I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised seeing as this dump of a bingo hall was once the home to a garbage wrestling federation…or as Jerry “The King” Lawler referred to it as- Extremely Crappy Wrestling.” Crowd: “BOOOOOOOO!” More debris flies in. McMann: “Well, it’s your priviledge that I choose to grace this piece of **** excuse for a wrestling arena to present to you the future of PCW and the future tag team champions of PCW- CADILLAC! AND JAGUAR!” Loud, thunderous boos fill the arena. McMann: “Now that I’ve rid Domination Inc. of ANY wrestler tainted with the PCW brand, now I am poised to put my stamp of approval on PCW when Mercedes brings back the women’s title, Cadillac and Jaguar win back our PCW Tag Team belts, and Domination Inc’s Seven Foot Tall Weapon of Mass Destruction Big Monster Wahlie relieves O’Beck Bahama from the PCW Title!” Crowd: “McMANN SUCKS! McMANN SUCKS!”

Aimee Allen’s ‘Start a Revolution’ blares through the loudspeakers and the crowd explodes.

Jack Schett and Bull Schett walk to the ring with Horst Schett and Hans Gruber- the Extreme German Schnauzer. Cadillac and Jaguar immediately attack. Jaguar punches Jack Schett repeatedly. Cadillac DDTs Bull Schett onto the floor. Cadillac clotheslines Jack Schett. Jaguar goes off the top turnbuckle and double foot stomps Jack Schett. The bell finally rings.

MATCH #4 PCW Tag Team Tournament Quarterfinal
CADILLAC and JAGUAR w/Domination Inc. (Domination Inc.) vs.
JACK SCHETT and BULL SCHETT w/Horst Schett and The Extreme German Schnauzer Hans Gruber (Ron Paul’s New Libertarian Army)

Jaguar tries for a top-rope senton but Horst Schett crotches him on the top rope. Cadillac power bombs Bull through an outside ring table. Jack Schett grabs onto Cadillac and a Belly to Belly Suplex sends Cadillac down onto the floor. Bull follows with a tiger driver on Cadillac. Jack uses a closed fist on Cadillac. Bull tries for a Reverse Suplex but Cadillac avoids it. Jaguar runs in and Bull kicks him in the groin. He follows with a swinging bulldog and drives Jaguar’s face into the floor. Bull Schett is back on his feet. Leg Drop! Jack goes for a neck scissors but Jaguar dodges the attack. Horst Schett sneaks up and sends Jaguar into the steel guardrail. Jack belly-to-belly suplexes Cadillac.

Jack and Jaguar finally head into the ring. Jack connects with a flying knee and Jaguar goes down. Jaguar right back up and makes the tag to Cadillac. Cadillac German suplexes Jack. Jaguar punches Jack. Jaguar up top and nails an elbowdrop from the second turnbuckle. Jack gets up and then walks into a flying clothesline by D.B. Ruff from the top rope. Bull clotheslines Jaguar. Cadillac places Jack on the top turnbuckle…German suplex! Cadillac grabs a chair…and clocks Jack over the head with it! Flying knee. Jack desperately throws Cadillac off the ropes and hits him with a diving shoulder block. Jack gets back to his corner and tags Bull back in.

Cadillac gets caught with a diving elbow smash from Jack. Bull then hits Cadillac with an elbowdrop. The crowd rises. The Corporate Enforcer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot leaves Mr. Mr. McMann and gets in the ring. WTF piledrives Bull Schett! Crowd: “What the ****!, What the ****!” WTF leaves and Cadillac puts a knee to Bull Schett’s back and pulls his arms back. Referee Ron Martin checks for a tap out. … Cadillac tightens the hold. … Cadillac breaks the hold. Bull then hits Cadillac in the groin. Horst Schett in and hits a neckbreaker on Cadillac. Jaguar runs towards the ropes, springboards off, and splashes Horst. Jaguar follows with a ropeflip hiptoss. Bull comes to Horst’s rescue- Jaguar suplexes him. Bull rakes Jaguar’s face. Jaguar goes for a Knee drop but Bull avoids it. Jack picks up Jaguar from behind and executes the reverse DDT.

Jack catches Jaguar’s leg, but Jaguar reverses it with an enzuigiri. Connor Justice and D.B. Ruff in the ring. Connor Justice sends Jack to the corner of ringside. Justice tries to taser Jack- Jack gets away and gets drilled by D.B. Ruff. Cadillac comes in from behind and bulldogs Jack. Horst suplexes Jaguar and then throws him from the ring. Horst bulldog’s Jaguar on the floor. Ruff tasers Horst and takes him out.

The Corporate Enforcer, Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, chokes Bull with a microphone cable and then clotheslines the hell out of him. A table is set up outside the ring. WTF Awesome Bombs Bull through the table outside the ring. Crowd: “HOLY ****! HOLY ****!” Jaguar takes Jack into the ring. Tilt-a-whirl slam. Jaguar up on the top rope. He knees Jack in the stomach from the top rope. Jaguar moves back to the top rope. Jack gets back up and eats a 5 Star Frog Splash from the top rope. Jaguar pulls off a beautiful sunset flip off of the top rope. Cover. One. Two. Three.

Charlene Ann: “The winners of this match and advancing to the semi-finals of the PCW Tag Team Tournament, Cadillac and Jaguar!”

Domination Inc. celebrates in the ring as the show ends.

——————–

UPCOMING EVENTS @ http://www.politicalwrestling.wordpress.com :
5/27- PCW Extreme Political TV
5/29- PCW Newsline
5/31- PCW on P-SPAN
6/3- PCW Extreme Political TV
6/5- PCW Newsline
6/7- Political Championship Wrestling Presents: Loose Cannons Unleashed 5
6/10- PCW Extreme Political TV
6/12- PCW Newsline
6/14- PCW on P-SPAN
6/17- PCW End of the Season Extravanganza

————————-

TWITTER:
Check us out at @PCWPolWrestling at Twitter. PCW now has over 550 people following us. Join our merry band of political pirates on Twitter.

—————–

Other political stories:

Dick Cheney: Lobotero’s Info Ink, Huff Post, Bonnie Goodman, Daily Kos, Italico’s Place, Blogger News Network, Unconquerable Gladness, The Seminal, Perimeter Progressive, Wormtown Taxi, Thump and Whip, Chattah Box, Politicant, Politik Ditto, Free Us Now, Politics Daily, Dave Rogers,

Barack Obama: Patterico’s Pontifications, Preston Falls Review, Frankie Sturm, Loud and Clear, Right Pundits, Salmon and Grits, Hyscience, Broccolicity, Baller Status, Widdershins, Gateway Pundit, Josiahe’s Blog, Zero Hedge, Pak Alert Press, Small Dead Animals, RBO, Commentary Magazine, Obambi, Pat Dollard,

Sarah Palin: Mudflats, Shannyn Moore, Sarah Palin, Wandaphull World, Mom’s For Sarah Palin, Huff Post, Greg Mitchell, Sarah Palin Info Blog,

Pro Wrestling: Wrestle Inc., Rant and Raves, Pro Wrestling Report, I Blog Here, PW Torch, Invisible Web, Lords of Pain, Beckett Blog, Pro Wrestling Digest, Florida Wrestling Fans,

Political Satire: Capital Hill Blue, James Gaitis’s Blog, Orlando Sentinel, SageJournals, News Mutiny,

C-SPAN: Lynn Sweet,

Other: CNN, Politico,

5/6-PCW Extreme Political TV: Starz N. Stripes, Arlen Specter Welcomed to Progressive Alliance, Domination Inc. Notes 6 Month Tag Team Reign of Big Oil/Walstreit, and Karl Rove in the Main Event????

Main Event: ‘The Mastermind’ KARL ROVE w/Dick Cheney (Extreme Neo-Con Alliance) vs. STARZ N. STRIPES w/Arlen Specter (Progressive Alliance)

5/6-PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV from the Veterans Memorial Field House in Huntington, West Virginia
HOSTS: Johnny Suave and his life size cardboard cut-out of Shania Twain

Crowd: “PCW!…PCW!…PCW!…” Suave: “LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! WELCOME TO POLITICAL CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING!” A thunderous cheer follows. Crowd: “PCW!…PCW!…PCW!…PCW!…PCW!…PCW!…” Suave: “I AM JOHNNY SUAVE. THIS SMOKING HOT PIECE OF CARDBOARD IS SHANIA TWAIN! A LOT WENT DOWN THIS PAST SUNDAY NIGHT ON PCW ON P-SPAN-”

*DOMINATION INC.’S MISSION STATEMENT IS THE COMPLETE TAKEOVER OF POLITICAL CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING BY ANY AND ALL MEANS!*

Domination Inc. CEO ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann, his Corporate Bodyguard Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, CFO Gordon Guyko, Corporate Security Rough Justice: D.B. Ruff and Connor Justice- two former police officers fired for their extreme style of law enforcement, and the 7 foot tall Weapon of Mass Destruction, Big Monster Wahlie all walk to the ring.

Suave: “Well. It looks like the corporate conglomerate bent on a hostile takeover of PCW Domination Inc. has a few things to say.” McMann: “I just thought I’d come out here and introduce to you the new star of PCW, the 7 foot tall Weapon of Mass Destruction…BIG MONSTER WAHLIE!” BMW holds his arms up menacingly. McMann: “Ever since Domination Inc. brought BMW into our organization, he’s proven again and again that he is head over heels better than anyone on the PCW roster.” Suave: “Ah…he really hasn’t wrestled anyone of note yet.” McMann: “I know for a fact that the so-called PCW champion O’Beck Bahama found out that BMW was here tonight and is now hiding in his dressing room, protected by that washed up has been Justin Sufferable and the PCW CEO Barack Obama. Because they know that I am the true genius of sports entertainment. I know what you idiots want to see. And you want to see more of BMW destroying anyone who dares gets into the ring-” Two men hop the steel barricade and climb into the ring. Suave: “Who the hell are these guys?”

The two genuflect in front of McMann. Both: “WE’RE NOT WORTHY…WE’RE NOT WORTHY!” Suave: “I think I’m going to be sick.” McMann: “What’s your names?” K-Money: “I’m K-Money. And he’s Ted G. We’re your biggest fans!” Ted G.: “That’s right. I can’t believe this third rate so-called wrestling company doesn’t use your talent by letting you write the show.” K-Money: “Mr. McMann just appearing on PCW is more important and big than anything the rest of the losers in PCW does. We have two words for them-” Both: “EPIC FAIL!” McMann: “I see. I kinda like you guys.” Ted G: “PCW is garbage and full of worthless losers and no-talent wannabees. Their fans are deluded idiots who think their *bleep* promotion is worth a crap. They are wrong.” The crowd boos back. K-Money: “What you all continuously fail to realise is that NOBODY cares other than socially isolated tards like you who spend all their time in the internet wrestling community and become unbearably pompous, self-important, elitist little bitches.” Suave: “Nice. Real nice.” McMann: “Well, I have to say that I appreciate your sentiments. But we have a problem. You see, you’re in my ring and…well…I just can’t let you leave. How would you two like it if BMW just…slammed you and then you can leave.” K-Money: “Slam…US? COOL!” Ted G: “Being slammed by the Sports Entertainment Genius would be an honor!” McMann: “Okay.”

MATCH #1
‘The 7 foot Weapon of Mass Destruction’ BIG MONSTER WAHLIE (Domination Inc.)
vs. K-MONEY and TED G. (Guys in the wrong place at the wrong time)
The bell rings. Suave: “Well, this can’t be good.” BMW walks over, lifts Ted G. in the air, puts him position, and nails an Electric Chair Facebuster on him. Suave: “Yeah, he’s knocked out cold.” K-Money suddenly gets cold feet. He tries to get out of the ring but BMW grabs him by the belt loop in his jeans and pulls him back in. Suave: “Nice try. It’s been nice knowing you.” *WHAM* K-Money’s out cold as well. BMW places K-Money on top of Ted G. and sticks his big boot on K-Money’s chest. One…two…three.

WINNER: BIG MONSTER WAHLIE

Suave: “I have to say that I kind of enjoyed that. BMW destroys a couple Mr. McMann suck ups to get tonight’s edition of PCW Extreme Political TV underway. Let’s recap what happened Sunday night on PCW on P-SPAN…”

———————–

RECAP- 5/3 PCW ON P-SPAN
-SNAFU w/Dr. Bill (Independent) def. Capt. Nausea w/Movie Classic (Island of Misfit Wrestlers) via pinfall with the Arabian Facebuster

-The Alaskan Pitbull Sarah Palin promises that Kalee Jones- The Eskimo will make her claim tonight for the #1 contender slot by standing up to the corporate might of Domination Inc. and destroying Mercedes.

-Kathryn Randall Collins w/Hillary Clinton and the Clinton Political Pitbulls- James Carville and Paul Begala (Progressive Alliance) def. Hallie Burton w/’The Mastermind’ Karl Rove (Extreme Neo-Con Alliance) via pin with the Politics of Personal Destruction finisher. Post match, Burton attacks KRC. Carville and Begala intervene. W’s Image Rehab and Truth Squad wade in and it takes PCW Security Director Dawn McGill to separate the two groups.

-Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen w/Alaskan Pitbull Sarah Palin (SarahPAC) def. Mercedes w/Porsche Lexus and Rough Justice: D.B. Ruff and Connor Justice- two former police officers fired due to their extreme methods of law enforcement. The Eskimo Queen overcame numerous Domination Inc. run-ins and destroyed both Mercedes and Porsche Lexus with multiple Eskimo Piefaces. Jones was aided by Sarah Palin and NRA from SarahPAC and the Princess of Political Incorrectness Andrea Doria of the American Heartland Coalition.

-Domination Inc’s Seven Foot Tall Weapon of Mass Destruction BIG MONSTER WHALIE w/Domination Inc (Domination Inc.) pinned Richard Headd and Michael Hunt aka…Guys With Unfortunate Names (Island of Misfit Wrestlers) in 21 seconds.

-At the end of the show, W’s Image Rehab and Truth Squad (Dana Perino, Ari Fleischer, Andrew Card, ‘The Mastermind’ Karl Rove) drag Arlen Specter over to ‘Club Gitmo.’ They get ready to waterboard him when a man in a black mask and dressed all in black attacks. Rove ends up in the water. Fleischer and Card eat power bombs. Perino hides behind Cheney. Then the man pulls off the mask. Cheney is stunned to learn that the man is…former PCW Champion and former member of the American Patroits- Starz N. Stripes (formerly Kevin Scott).

———————

*flute and clarinet flourish*

Two men come out and unroll a white carpet to the ring steps. Dancers then dance. Ballet dancers…ballet? Little children walk up the white carpet and drop rose petals. Someone lets loose some pigeons…we’re still not sure just how they’ll get out of the building. The crowd stands and lets out a loud ovation as PCW CEO Barack Obama appears with his Aide de Camp Joe Biden by his side. Suave: “AND HERE COMES THE PCW CEO BARACK OBAMA! LISTEN TO THIS CROWD! ABOUT SIXTY PERCENT OF THEM ARE ON THEIR FEET!” Obama and Biden walk to the ring.

Obama: “Tonight, I’d like to welcome the newest member of the Progressive Alliance- Starz N. Stripes!” The crowd stands (60%) and cheers as Starz N. Stripes comes to the ring with Arlen Specter. Suave: “I still can’t believe that after all these years in the American Patriots that Starz N. Stripes is now with the Progressive Alliance.” Obama: “Starz. Even when I was helping O’Beck Bahama, I still was a huge fan of yours. The match that you and O’Beck had last November will go down in history as the best match in PCW history.” Suave: “He’s talking about PCW Extreme Election Night 2008 when Bahama became the PCW champion.” Obama: “So on behalf of the Progressive Alliance, welcome and-” Voice: “Hold on…this is making me *bleep*ing ill.” Suave: “IT’S DICK CHENEY! AND ‘THE MASTERMIND’ KARL ROVE! AND SEAN HANNITY!” Boos follow from the majority of the crowd. Cheers from about 15% of the people there. Cheney: “I knew you were weak, Starz. And now you’ve turned your back on everything you used to stand for and join up with the Progressive Alliance?” Starz: “Dick, I didn’t turn my back on anything. You turned your back on me. You corrupted the American Patriots and made it something that I just couldn’t support. I didn’t leave the American Patriots. The American Patriots left me.” Cheney glares at him. Cheney: “Well. I see we have a difference in opinion. I guess we should settle this the old fashioned way. i’d wrestle you myself, except my heart isn’t able to handle it. So…Karl. Karl Rove.” Rove looks incredibly surprised. Cheney: “Karl, you’ll wrestle Starz N. Stripes tonight. And if he wins, the Progressive Alliance can waterboard…YOU! HANNITY! The Progressive Alliance can waterboard you!” Hannity’s face becomes ashen. Cheney: “But. If I win, I get to waterboard not only you, Starz N. Stripes, but I also get to waterboard that two-bit traiterious scumbag Arlen Specter. Do we have a deal?” Starz: “Yes.” Suave: “THERE YOU HAVE IT. OUR MAIN EVENT TONIGHT IS ‘THE MASTERMIND KARL ROVE AGAINST STARZ N. STRIPES!”

—————————-

COMMERCIAL TIME:

The E-Wrestling Magazine is the home for all the latest news on e-federations all across the country. Check out all the latest stories on PCW and other great e-federations:

“Unstoppable” Aaron Nothings… STOPPED. Wednesday, 06 May 2009 (/)
5/6-PCW Extreme Political TV Preview Tuesday, 05 May 2009 (/)
4CW Promotional Preshow now on Air Tuesday, 05 May 2009 (/)
CCW LOCKDOWN 5/4/09 Tuesday, 05 May 2009 (/)
Genesis League Cup Announced… Monday, 04 May 2009 (/)
Jack Pierce signs to Dream Monday, 04 May 2009 (/)
20 Random Feds 03.03.09 Monday, 04 May 2009 (/)
WTF Xtreme Report 5/3/09 Sunday, 03 May 2009 (/)
5/3-PCW on P-SPAN Sunday, 03 May 2009 (/)
Sunrise Pro Wrestling presents Dawn [6] – All About Impact Sunday, 03 May 2009 (/)
Dream Wrestling Goes Public! Sunday, 03 May 2009 (/)
What’s Brewing in the ICWF?

—————————-

Fed Wars.org – Fed Wars is an interfed promotion currently run by Ben Halkum. There are a number of e-feds already involved in this project.

—————–

MATCH #2
A. TOM BOMB w/SM. Art Bomb (American Patriots)
vs. DAVE THE MECHANIC w/Tequila Sheila (American Heartland Coalition)
Suave: “The PCW Newsline has well documented the issues going on with not just A-Bomb but his brothers Hy Drogen Bomb and Incendiary Bomb concerning their sister Daisy Cutter-Bomb. Daisy was fired from Domination Inc a couple weeks back and now she wants to return to the Bomb’s. The other issue is that the Bomb’s feel the American Patriots have no sense of direction right now. A-Bomb’s looking for another shot at the PCW title.” The bell rings. Suave: “Quick lockup. Headlock by Dave.” A-Bomb whips him into the ropes. Suave: “Dave sent for the ride. OW!” Dave bounces off A-Bomb onto the canvas. Suave: “He’s not going to shoulder block A-Bomb. No way. Dave into the ropes…tilt a whirl…no. Dave lands on his feet. Off the ropes…” Dave slides between A-Bomb’s legs. Suave: “Spinning back kick by Dave! Armdrag takedown now.” A-Bomb slips out of the ring. Suave: “A-Bomb takes a time out to regroup.”

A-Bomb confers with SM Art Bomb and climbs back in. They lock up again. Suave: “Test of strength…” A-Bomb tosses Dave to the canvas. Suave: “Bad idea, Dave. A-Bomb charges…MONKEY FLIP BY DAVE! WHERE DID THAT COME FROM? DAVE COVERS. ONE…TWO…KICK OUT BY A-BOMB!” A-Bomb slams his hand on the canvas in disgust. Suave: “He’s not happy at all. A second monkey flip by Dave. No, A-Bomb lands on his feet. STANDING DROPKICK BY A-BOMB! HE’S GOING FOR THE ATOMIC POWER BOMB! BUT DAVE FLIPS OUT.” The crowd claps at the sequence. Tequila Sheila yells encouragement. Suave: “Dave the Mechanic looking good so far in this match. High cross body by Dave. A-Bomb catches him…FALL AWAY SLAM!” A-Bomb pulls Dave up by the hair. Suave: “Forearm shots by A-Bomb. Dave goes for the ride again.” Dave again slides between A-Bomb’s legs and rolls out to the apron. Suave: “A-Bomb grabs Dave by the hair.” Dave drops to his knees and slingshots A-Bomb’s neck off the top rope.

Tequila Sheila slides a steel folding chair in. Suave: “Dave’s got a chair! *CLANG* HOLY CRAP!” *CLANG* A-Bomb’s legs wobble. Spinning heel kick by Dave. Suave: “HE CAUGHT HIM FLUSH IN THE JAW. A-BOMB’S DOWN AND HE MIGHT BE OUT! COVER. ONE…TWO…WAIT! THAT’S DAISY CUTTER-BOMB!” Daisy breaks the count. Tequila Sheila quickly enters the ring and tackles Daisy. Suave: “CAT-FIIIIIIGHT! CAT-FIIIIIGHT!” A-Bomb low blows Dave. Suave: “A-Bomb back on offense. He’s got Dave up…ATOMIC POWER BOMB! COVER. ONE. TWO. THREE!”

WINNER: A. TOM BOMB

Suave: “DAVE THE MECHANIC GAVE A-BOMB EVERYTHING HE COULD HANDLE. BUT IN THE END, DAISY CUTTER-BOMB’S INTERFERENCE HELPS A-BOMB GET THE WIN!” A-Bomb and Daisy Cutter-Bomb stare at each other. Then…they embrace. Suave: “Finally. A family reunited.”

————————

NANCY PELOSI’S OFFICE

Pelosi: “It’s come to my attention that the Alaskan Pitbull Sarah Palin has some issues with my management style. It seems she disagreed with the #1 contender’s match I made last week on PCW Extreme Political TV for the Women’s title.” Suave: “And with good reason too.”

REPLAY FROM 4/29-PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV -#1 CONTENDER’S MATCH FOR THE PCW WOMEN’S TITLE: KRC vs. Hallie Burton vs. Mercedes
Suave: HOLD ON! THAT’S KALEE JONES-THE ESKIMO QUEEN AND THE ALASKAN PITBULL SARAH PALIN! WHAT ARE THEY DOING OUT HERE?” Kalee hits the ring and Eskimo Piefaces KRC. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! The Eskimo Queen caught KRC totally by surprise. AGAIN! THIS TIME IT’S MERCEDES! PORSCHE LEXUS RUNS IN…ESKIMO PIEFACE! ROUGH JUSTICE! *THWACK* PALIN JUST DECAPITATED D.B. RUFF WITH HOCKEY STICK! HOLY FREAKIN’ CRAP! CARVILLE AND BEGALA IN THE RING. OWWWWWWW! PALIN JUST CRACKED HER HOCKEY STICK ON CARVILLE’S HEAD… KALEE JONES PISSED BECAUSE SHE WASN’T INCLUDED IN THE #1 CONTENDER’S MATCH…”

Pelosi: “Sarah Palin. Let me remind you of this. We won. You lost. I control the PCW Competition Committee and what I say goes. Now I know that Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen has a match this Sunday night on PCW on P-SPAN for the #1 contender spot against KRC. My advice to both of you is this- don’t get your hopes up. Because I…I mean, the Progressive Alliance, control the competition committee, it’s very exciting because now we can get things done without explaining process. And the process is this, you don’t stand a chance of winning. And oh, Kalee Jones. Perhaps the problem you’re running into has to do with the company you’re keeping. Think about it.” Suave: “Whoa. A veiled shot at The Alaskan Pitbull Sarah Palin?”

———————

COMMERCIAL TIME:

E-Wrestling Torch- E-fed television, pay-per-view, and classic show reviews!

——————–

The Titan Zone A social network about e-wrestling. Meet and get to know the Titans of the e-wrestling world!

UPCOMING EVENTS: OTHER E-FEDERATIONS:

SWF Fan Convention
May 8, 2009 all day – Orange County Convention Center in Orlando, FL

XWW presents Saturday night Carnage
May 9, 2009 all day – XWW arena Elimira N.Y.

WTF Intensity
May 10, 2009 from 9pm to 10pm – WTF Studios

SWF VIP Party
May 15, 2009 at 8pm to May 16, 2009 at 1am – City Walk in Orlando, FL

————————-

*DOMINATION INC’S MISSION STATEMENT IS THE COMPLETE TAKEOVER OF POLITICAL CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING BY ANY AND ALL MEANS*

Suave: “What? Twice in one show? Who did we piss off to deserve this?” Mr. McMann, WTF, Rough Justice, Cadillac, Jaguar, and the PCW Tag Team Champions Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit- Wall Street Market Analyst with the man crush on ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit come to the ring. McMann: “Well, Big Oil. Kirk Walstreit. It seems just yesterday that you destroyed Jack Schett and Bull Schett and brought the PCW Tag Team title belts to Domination Inc. But it’s been six months that you’ve held the titles. So, I brought our new tag team, Cadillac and Jaguar, out to present you with these plaques…” Cadillac and Jaguar hand the plaques to the tag team champs. McMann: “Congratulations to a couple of team players who’ve done everything we’ve asked them to do. You’ve been worthy tag team champions.” Suave: “Were?” McMann: “But now that you’ve had a six month run as the champions, it’s time for you to hand over the belts to Cadillac and Jaguar.” Suave: “WHAT?” Big Oil and Walstreit are stunned. McMann: “Come on, come on. I don’t have all night. Just hand over the belts, like the good team players that you are.” Big Oil and Walstreit look at each other. Suave: “YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! THIS CAN’T BE LEGAL!” Walstreit: “Can I ask…why?” McMann: “Sure. According to your employment contract with Domination Inc., you both agreed that if you won any sort of title belt that the belt legally belongs to Domination Inc. So, now that we’ve cleared that up. Please be good team players and hand the belts to Cadillac and Jaguar.” Suave: “THEY CAN’T DO THAT!” Walstreit and Big Oil confer. Walstreit: “If you don’t mind, we’d like to discuss this with our counsel.” McMann: “What?” Walstreit: “We’d like to discuss this with our counsel.” McMann: “Fine. You’ve got one week. Next week, you will turn the title belts over to Cadillac and Jaguar and that’s the way it’s going to be.” McMann, Cadillac, and Jaguar leave Big Oil and Walstreit in the ring. Suave: “I’VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THIS IN MY FOUR YEARS HERE AT PCW! MR. McMANN HAS ESSENTIALLY CLAIMED THAT CONTRACTUALLY HE CONTROLS THE PCW TITLE BELTS AND NOT THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS.”

———————-

UPCOMING EVENTS @ http://www.politicalwrestling.wordpress.com :
5/8- PCW Newsline
5/10- PCW on P-SPAN
5/13- PCW Extreme Political TV
5/17- PCW on P-SPAN
5/20- PCW Extreme Political TV
5/22- PCW Newsline
5/24- PCW on P-SPAN
5/27- PCW Extreme Political TV
5/29- PCW Newsline
5/31- PCW on P-SPAN
6/3- PCW Extreme Political TV
6/5- PCW Newsline
6/7- Political Championship Wrestling Presents: Loose Cannons Unleashed 5

————————

MATCH #3:
INCENDIARY BOMB and HY DROGEN BOMB w/SM. Art Bomb and Daisy Cutter-Bomb (American Patriots)
vs. BLUE DOG D w/Kirsten Gillibrand (Progressive Alliance) and RINO-Republican in Name Only w/Susan Collins (American Patriots)
Suave: “I-Bomb and H-Bomb are in the mix for a shot at the PCW Tag Team title. They meet the Bipartisan Dream Team Blue Dog D and RINO.” The bell rings. Suave: “I-BOMB AND H-BOMB HIT THE RING WITH A TRASH CAN FULL OF PLUNDER!” I-Bomb superkicks Blue Dog D. RINO picks up a cookie sheet and whaps I-Bomb. Suave: “HERE WE GO!” RINO whacks H-Bomb with the cookie sheet. He does it second time. Suave: “Rights by Blue Dog D on I-Bomb. Now he’s got a hubcap.” *WHAP* I-Bomb falls back. RINO with a wooden stick. *WHAP* Suave: “H-BOMB’S BUSTED OPEN!” RINO keeps up the attack. Blue Dog D pulls I-Bomb up and slings him over the top rope neck first. Suave: “Irish whip by RINO…no reversed by H-Bomb…POWERSLAM BY H-BOMB!” H-Bomb kicks away at RINO. Forearm to the head by H-Bomb. Suave: “HOLD ON! IT’S THE PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPS!”

Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit hit the ring. Suave: “BIG OIL HAS RINO…OKLAHOMA DRILLER! OKLAHOMA DRILLER!” Big Oil kicks H-Bomb in the balls. Powerbomb follows. Suave: “WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? THE PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS ARE TAKING APART BOTH TEAMS!” Walstreit hits the Stock Market Plunge on Blue Dog D. Big Oil Oklahoma Drillers H-Bomb. I-Bomb crawls back into the ring. Big Oil kicks away at him. Suave: “WAIT A MINUTE…WHAT’S MICHAEL STEELE DOING DOWN HERE?” The CEO of the American Patriots latches on to I-Bomb’s leg and tries to pull him out. Big Oil yanks I-Bomb in. Steele hits the edge of the ring and bounces back to the floor. Suave: “So much for THAT idea. Big Oil has I-Bomb up…OKLAHOMA DRILLER! OKLAHOMA DRILLER!”

Big Oil grabs a mic. Big Oil: “LET ME MAKE THIS CLEAR. THESE ARE OUR BELTS! OURS!” Big Oil slams the mic down and he and Walstreit exit.

WINNER: NO MATCH

Suave: “I might be off base here, but I think Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit don’t want to give up their Tag Team belts.”

——————–

POLITICAL CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY:

MATCH #4
‘The Mastermind’ KARL ROVE w/Dick Cheney (Extreme Neo-Con Alliance)
vs. STARZ N. STRIPES w/Arlen Specter (Progressive Alliance)
Suave: “Rove clearly doesn’t want to be in the ring. Starz looks as focused as he’s been in a long time.” Rove points to his temple to make sure everyone knows he’s a friggin’ genius. Suave: “If he was a genius, he wouldn’t be in the ring right now.” The bell rings. Suave: “Well, this ought to be interesting.” Starz moves towards Rove. Rove steps through the ropes. Starz steps back and lets Rove get back in. Suave: “Rove sticking close to the ropes.” Starz again moves at him. Rove again steps through the ropes. Suave: “The crowd isn’t going to go for this for much longer. I sure hope ‘The Mastermind’ has a back up plan.” Starz backs away again. Rove tentatively steps back in. Rove keeps one hand on the rope and circles. Starz moves with him. He goes forward to lock up but Rove again steps through the ropes. The crowd becomes impatient. Suave: “The natives are getting restless.”
*
Starz backs away and Rove climbs back in. Rove keeps close to the ropes and moves to his left. Starz shadows him. He goes to lock up…Rove steps through the ropes. The crowd starts to boo. Rove points to his temple again…Starz grabs him and flings him across the ring. The crowd cheers. Suave: “STARZ N. STRIPES FINALLY HAD ENOUGH AND TOSSES ROVE ACROSS THE- STARZ WAS HIT FROM BEHIND…WHO?…” A man in a hood hits Starz with a steel-folding chair. He whips the hood back. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! IT’S RANDY ROAD RAGE RICHARDSON! QUADRUPLE R IS BACK IN PCW! *CLANG* A THIRD CHAIRSHOT ON STARZ…” *CLANG* Suave: “DOWN GOES ARLEN SPECTER!” Rahm Emanuel runs to the ring. *CLANG* Suave: “QUADRUPLE R JUST DRILLED RAHM EMANUEL WITH THE CHAIR! *CLANG* ANOTHER CHAIRSHOT ON STARZ. HE’S OUT! HE’S KNOCKED OUT!” W’s Image Rehab and Truth Squad (Ari Fleischer, Dana Perino, and Andrew Card) hit the ring and drag Starz and Specter out. Suave: “THEY’RE TAKING THEM OVER TO CLUB GITMO! THEY’RE GOING TO WATERBOARD STARZ N. STRIPES AND ARLEN SPECTER…WE’RE OUT OF TIME. SEE YOU NEXT WEEK!”

————-

Other political stories:

Dick Cheney: SuzieQ, RCP, Roger Hollander, Politics USA, Charmaine’s Muse Pallet, Orlando Sentinel, The Zoo, The Wingnuterer, MaryAnnCp’s Blog, Veto Corleone, Serenity Thru Haiku, Your World Times, Broadcatching, Band Annie’s, Union News, Real Ideals,

Nancy Pelosi: Wonderland Wire, Politico, Joint Effort, Opposing Views, McNorman, Yuba Net, Quipster, Liberty Maven, Cinie, Flapsblog, Tai-Chi Policy, Huff Post, Trader Aaron, Hot Air, Cadillac Tight,

Karl Rove: Whitechic Press, Economist, Jetsiva, Note-Grumpy Old Man, Bernie Latham, Media Matters, Big Blue Texan, Butasforme, njolinjo, Karl Rove, Magic Pristine Bullet, Blue Gal, Jon Taplin, Peace & Freedom Promise, Jonathan Todd, TPMMuckraker, Creative Greenus, Daily Banter,

Kirsten Gillibrand: Huff Post, The Hill, Silve,  NY Politics, Democrats, Daily Politics, The Hill, Mondoweiss, NYMag, Times Union, Real Estate Rama,

Arlen Specter: Politico, Natl Review, ABC News, PennLive, Powerline, Blogger News Net,

Sarah Palin: CNN, AKMuckraker, Wonderingrohi, Politics Daily, Twenty-Five Years, Small Dead Animals, Sarah Palin3, Palinoscopy, Daily Kos, WSJ, Mudflats, Shannyn Moore,

5/5-PCW Extreme Political TV Preview

Domination Inc. celebrates PCW Tag Team champions Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit- the Wall Street Analyst with the man crush on ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit, as they pass the six month mark of their title reign.

The Progressive Alliance will formally welcome former PCW Champion Starz N. Stripes into the fold. Will Dick Cheney and W’s Image Rehab and Truth Squad have a response after Starz stopped them from waterboarding Arlen Specter Sunday night?

Nancy Pelosi addresses Sarah Palin’s statements concerning Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen

A. Tom Bomb (American Patriots) faces Dave the Mechanic w/Tequila Sheila (American Heartland Coalition)

Incendiary Bomb and Hy Drogen Bomb (American Patriots) meet the Bipartisan Dream Team Blue Dog D w/Kirsten Gillibrand (Progressive Alliance) and RINO-Republican in Name Only w/Susan Collins (American Patriots)

Main Event TBA. All this and more Wednesday night on PCW Extreme Political TV.

Norm Coleman, Al Franken, Domination Inc. Unleashes its Second Wave- 4/12-PCW on P-SPAN

4/7- PCW Extreme Political TV results:

“PCW Night of Champions- special 2 hour show”

-Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (SarahPAC) decimated Daisy Cutter-Bomb (Domination Inc.) hitting multiple Eskimo Piefaces before pinning her.

-Domintion Inc. CFO Gordon Guyko warns CEO ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann that their backers are very nervous about the lack of results. McMann complains about the ‘mole’ in the organization holding up progress.

-Kevin Scott (formerly Starz N. Stripes) cleaned out his locker and left PCW.

-Blue Dog D and RINO (Republican in Name Only) herd the Angry Left Wing Bloggers and Right Wing Brigadiers separately into a room. The door to the room is then locked and music from the children’s TV show Barney is piped into the room.

-PCW TV Champion ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido (Progressive Alliance) defeats Newt Tron Bomb (McCain’s Marauders) with the Ankle Lock submission hold.

-Drunken Luchadors Dan and Don Martini (Independent) won their final match in PCW via count-out over PCW Tag Team Champions Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit- Wall Street Market Analysis with a man crush on ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit (Domination Inc.).

-The W Image Rehabilitation and Truth Squad attack and took out Steny Hoyer of the Progressive Alliance.

-At the PCW 2008 Year End Awards banquet, Al Franken (Progressive Alliance) and Norm Coleman (American Patriots) celebrate being named the best feud of 2008 by restarting it. Franken and Coleman brawled at the podium mere seconds after being presented with the awards.

-’PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin (Joe SixPacks) retains the PCW Women’s Title with a hard fought victory over Kathryn Randall Collins (Progressive Alliance). Tessa hit the ‘Pizza Cutter’ to gain the pin.

-Nancy Pelosi (Progressive Alliance) and John Boehner (American Patriots) arrive at PCW CEO Barack Obama’s office and discover while watching the show that both the Angry Left Wing Bloggers and Right Wing Brigadiers were trapped in a room with Barney the Dinosaur music piped in.

-PCW Champion O’Beck Bahama (Progressive Alliance) holds off A.Tom Bomb (McCain’s Marauders) via submission (Bahama Backbreaker) and a little help from ‘Not Just Intolerable, not just unbearable, he is’ Justin Sufferable.

April 12th from Washington D.C.

MATCH #1 HALITOSIS ‘The Luchador with the Insanely Foul Breath’ (Independent) vs. LITTLE PAULIE of the American Bikers w/Big Paulie (Independent)
Little Paulie works the arm early on. Halitosis reverses but Little Paulie takes him down and Halitosis grabs the ropes. Lock up again, headlock by Halitosis. Little Paulie flings him off the ropes and Halitosis eats a shoulder block. Halitosis back with a Japanese arm drag into an arm bar. Little Paulie gets back to his feet. Again he whips Halitosis into the ropes and nails a shoulder block. Halitosis counters with an arm drag. Halitosis dropkicks Little Paulie and the American Biker talks a walk outside. Halitosis goes top rope and catches Little Paulie with a plancha. Big Paulie comes over. Knee to the gut by Big Paulie. Big Paulie avoids a kick but gets caught by a reverse enziguri by Halitosis. Halitosis whips him into the steel guardrail. Little Paulie up and nails Halitosis with a chairshot.

Back in the ring, corner chops by Little Paulie. Halitosis fires back with chops. He escapes the corner and connects with a back elbow. Palm strike send Little Paulie to the floor. Halitosis whips himself into the ropes, but Big Paulie pulls him to the floor. Big Paulie clubs him with a motorcycle tailpipe and lays him on the apron. Little Paulie hits a charging knee strike and pulls Halitosis into the ring. Cover. 1…2…BREATH OF DEATH! Little Paulie falls on his back. Halitosis covers. 1…2…3.

WINNER: HALITOSIS

PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein interviews Al Franken of the Progressive Alliance. Bernstein asks Franken about Tuesday night. Franken replies that Norm Coleman is just bitter and desperate to win at any cost. “The tape said it all,” Franken says- alluding to a tape made at the PCW Completely Deranged event in Minneapolis that showed Franken with the briefcase at the end of their ladder match when they hit the ground.

Coleman runs in, says ‘That’s a lie!’ and tackles Franken. PCW Security Director Dawn McGill and a few others come out to break up the fracas.

MATCH #2 TAG TEAM HANDICAP MATCH PER NANCY PELOSI’S DIRECTIVE

THE ANGRY LEFT WING BLOGGERS-Daily Kos, Media Matters for America, Eric Alterman, and Jane Hamsher of Firelake.com (Progressive Alliance) vs. BLUE DOG D (Progressive Alliance) and RINO- Republican in Name Only (American Patriots)
Daily Kos and Eric Alterman attack RINO. Double-team on Blue Dog D in the corner by Media Matters and Jane Hamsher. Hamsher rakes the eyes with her nails and they continue the beatdown until Blue Dog D goes low on Media Matters. Hip toss to Hamsher but Alterman kicks Blue Dog D in the head. He gets rolled up.

The Right Wing Brigadiers (Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity, Michelle Malkin, and Laura Ingraham) run in and join the battle. Big clothesline by Beck on Daily Kos. Double team slam by Hannity and Ingraham drops Alterman onto Hamsher. RINO regains the upper hand but eats the double clothesline by Beck and Hannity and Michelle Malkin hits a springboard back elbow. Media Matters body drops Hannity and Hamsher puts Ingraham in a body scissors. Blue Dog D comes off the top with a double axe handle and takes out Alterman and Hannity. RINO drops some knees on Media Matters and scoop slams Malkin. Double stomp off the top by Daily Kos gets RINO. Cover for 2.

CNN’s Lou Dobbs and Tucker Carlson run out to RINO and Blue Dog D’s defense and the match totally breaks down from there.

WINNER: NO ONE

In the Domination Inc. Suite, Domination Inc. CEO Mr. McMann makes everyone in the corporation sign off on an oath of loyalty due to a ‘mole’ disclosing confidential information to PCW officials. CFO Guyko nearly strokes out when he sees that McMann has signed on five new wrestlers to replace Quadruple R and Kathryn Randall Collins.

MATCH #3 EMILY LIST and CODE PINK (Progressive Alliance) vs. KALEE JONES- The Eskimo Queen w/’The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin (SarahPAC) and ‘Texas Cowgirl’ HALEY DALLAS (American Patriots)

The bell rings and List locks up with Jones and the Eskimo Queen pushes her to the corner. Jones fires away with right hands. She whips List into the ropes. List leaps on the second rope and goes for a flying elbow. Jones catches her in mid-air and nails a power slam. List crawls back to her corner and tags in Code Pink. Code Pink gets whipped into the corner and does a head stand in the corner. Code Pink connects with a headscissors and a dropkick. She goes for a second dropkick but Jones swats her feet away. Code Pink escapes from Jones and tags List back in. Jones quickly gains the advantage and whips List into the corner. Haley Dallas gets involved and chokes List with her boot in the corner. Code Pink in the ring and whaps Jones upside the head with a running boot. Jones locks in a neck wrench in return.

List escapes, but she can’t make a tag because Code Pink is in the ring. Dallas backs her into the corner and hits a Western Lariat on her. Double gutbuster by Dallas on List. Dallas throws List through the ropes and out. Double team suplex on Code Pink. Jones lifts her and nails Code Pink with an Eskimo Pieface. Cover. 1…2…3.

WINNER: KALEE JONES- The Eskimo Queen and ‘Texas Cowgirl’ HALEY DALLAS

The Schett Brothers (Progressive Alliance) cut a promo and essentially say that they’re tired of *****-ing around. They want the PCW Tag Team belts back and it’s time Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit stop running from them. Jack says that if you don’t believe that the Schetts will regain the tag team titles, then ‘you don’t know Jack Schett.’ Bull Schett opines ‘you’re full of Bull Schett’ if you think Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit can beat them.

MAIN EVENT: DREAD PIRATE DOUGGIE w/Dr. Bill (Dr. Bill’s Island of Misfit Wrestlers) vs. PCW Champion O’BECK BAHAMA w/’Not just intolerable, not just unbearable, he is…’ Justin Sufferable (Progressive Alliance)

It’s a non-title match. Dr. Bill tells Dread Pirate Douggie that ‘he can win this if he believes that he can win this.’ VINTAGE DR. BILL!- WWE’s Michael Cole.

DPD tries a capoeira kick. Bahama catches him and turns it into a power bomb. Bahama annihilates Douggie’s chest with a palm strike. Standing drop kick by Bahama. Forearm to the back. 450 Splash. Cover. 1…2. Dr. Bill in the ring and pulls the ref off. Bahama chases him from the ring. DPD hits a high kick. Douggie goes the 10-punch in the corner. Bahama walks it out and then pancake slams DPD. Irish whip into the ropes…BAHAMA BACKBREAKER! Game over.

WINNER: PCW Champion O’BECK BAHAMA

Bahama celebrates in the ring and is attacked by a huge 7 foot tall wrestler. Domination Inc. walks to the ring with Mr. McMann in the lead. He sends two men and two women, also new, into the ring and they take turns teeing off on the PCW Champion. Rahm Emanuel runs in to help and is chokeslammed by the 7 footer. Eventually, McMann gets into the ring and introduces his new charges- Big Monster Wahlie aka BMW is the 7 footer. Cadillac and Jaguar are one pair. Mercedes and Porsche Lexus are the female wrestlers.

McMann: “I made the mistake of thinking small. Now, I’m thinking much bigger. Power. Strength. And overwhelming force. You probably thought that after PCW Weapons of Mass Political Destructin that our hostile takeover of Political Championship Wrestling was dead. I can assure you that we’ve only just begun.”

2008 Year End Awards, Updates on Big Oil, Kirk Walstreit, and Rahm Emanuel, Norm Coleman-Al Franken Feud Blows Up Again, Updated Rankings- PCW Newsline

4/9-PCW NEWSLINE

2008 PCW AWARDS GIVEN OUT TUESDAY AT PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV

PCW Wrestler of the Year: ‘The Original Rookie Sensation’ Starz N. Stripes (Kevin Scott)

PCW Women’s Wrestler of the Year: ‘PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin

PCW Tag Team of the Year: Jack Schett and Bull Schett

PCW Newcomer of the Year: “The New Rookie Sensation’ O’Beck Bahama

PCW Women’s Newcomer of the Year: Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen

PCW Manager of the Year: ‘The Natural’ Barack Obama (O’Beck Bahama)

Most Improved Wrestler: FUBAR (now Dave the Mechanic)

Match of the Year: ‘The Original Rookie Sensation’ Starz N. Stripes (American Patriots) defends the PCW Title against ‘The New Rookie Sensation’ O’Beck Bahama- PCW Extreme Election Night 2008- 11/4/08

Show of the Year: PCW Extreme Election Night 2008- 11/4/08

Feud of the Year: Al Franken (Progressive Alliance) vs. Norm Coleman (American Patriots)

Faction of the Year: Domination Inc.

COLEMAN-FRANKEN FEUD RESTARTS
During the PCW Awards ceremony, Norm Coleman (American Patriots) and Al Franken (Progressive Alliance) began to snipe at each other. This led to some pushing before PCW Security Director Dawn McGill stepped in and separated the pair.

Of course on PCW Extreme Political TV Tuesday night, Coleman and Franken’s issues spilled out into the ring at the end of the show as both men again brawled.

Coleman continues to contest the decision made by PCW officials in awarding the December PCW Completely Deranged match to Al Franken after a tape showed that Franken had in fact landed on the floor with the briefcase. Will this ongoing feud lead to a fourth matchup between the two? We’ll see.

PELOSI FURIOUS WITH BLUE DOG D AND RINO (Republicans in Name Only)
The Progressive Alliance’s Nancy Pelosi, the president of the PCW Competition Committee, read the riot act to Blue Dog D after Tuesday night’s show. Blue Dog D, along with RINO, had locked the Angry Left Wing Bloggers and Right Wing Brigadiers into a room and forced both groups to listen to music from the children’s show Barney.

As punishment, Pelosi has set a match for Sunday night’s PCW on P-SPAN show. Blue Dog D and RINO will be in a handicapped tag team match against Daily Kos, Media Matters for America, Jane Hamsher, and Eric Alterman of the Angry Left Wing Bloggers.

MEDICAL UPDATES- BIG OIL, KIRK WALSTREIT, RAHM EMANUEL
Big Oil needed 41 stitches to close the gash in his forehead after being struck by a Jack Daniels bottle by Dan Martini Tuesday night. Big Oil is expected to be out for a couple weeks.

Kirk Walstreit needed only 5 stitches to repair his cut over his left eye from the Jack Daniels bottle wielded by Don Martini.

Rahm Emanuel was seen walking around gingerly after taking the testicular claw from PCW Women’s Champion ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin.

PCW RANKINGS

PCW WORLD CHAMPION: ‘The New Rookie Sensation’ O’Beck Bahama (Progressive Alliance)
CONTENDERS:
#1- A. Tom Bomb (McCain’s Marauders)
#2- ’The Angry Highway Warrior’ Quadruple R (Independent)
#3- Halitosis (Independent)

PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION: ‘PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin (Joe SixPacks)
CONTENDERS:
#1- Kathryn Randall Collins (Progressive Alliance)
#2- Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (SarahPac)
#3- Mia Margarita (Domination, Inc.)

PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit (Domination, Inc.)
CONTENDERS:
#1- Drunken Luchadors Dan and Don Martini (Independent)
#2- Schett Brothers- Jack Schett and Bull Schett (Progressive Alliance)
#3- Grizzly Adam and Hunter the Hunter (SarahPAC)

PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION: ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido (Progressive Alliance)
CONTENDERS:
#1- Newt Tron Bomb (McCain’s Marauders)
#2- SNAFU (Dr. Bill’s Island of Misfit Wrestlers)
#3- Dave the Mechanic (Joe SixPacks)

SUNDAY NIGHT’S CARD FOR PCW ON P-SPAN
-Halitosis- The Insanely Foul Breathed Luchador (Independent) vs. Little Paulie of the American Bikers (Independent)

-The Angry Left Wing Bloggers- Daily Kos, Media Matters for America, Jane Hamsher, and Eric Alterman vs. Blue Dog D and RINO (Republican in Name Only)

-Emily List and Code Pink (Progressive Alliance) vs. Kalee Jones – The Eskimo Queen and newcomer ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas (American Patriots)

-MAIN EVENT: Dread Pirate Douggie (Dr. Bill’s Island of Misfit Wrestlers) vs. PCW Champion O’Beck Bahama in a non-title match

UPCOMING EVENTS:
4/12- PCW on P-SPAN
4/15- PCW Extreme Political TV
4/17- PCW Newsline
4/19- PCW on P-SPAN
4/22- PCW Extreme Political TV
4/24- PCW Newsline
4/26- PCW on P-SPAN
4/29- PCW Extreme Political TV

3/31-PCW Extreme Political TV-part two: Can the Drunken Luchadors Drink Their Way to a Title Shot? Can KRC Overcome the Corporate Power of Domination Inc.?

MATCH #2- PCW EXTREME MARCH MAYHEM TAG TEAM TOURNAMENT CHAMPIONSHIP
#15 DRUNKEN LUCHADORS DAN and DON MARTINI (Independent) vs.
#8 GRIZZLY ADAM and HUNTER the HUNTER w/’The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin (SarahPAC)
Suave: “Sunday night, Sarah Palin found herself handcuffed to the ring ropes with Mia Margarita ready to give her the Long Kiss Goodnight SarahPAC’s Kalee Jones was taken down by Domination Inc. Tonight, can SarahPAC rebound and gain a shot at the PCW Tag Team Title? Will Domination Inc. interfere in the match?” The Martinis inbibe in their usual pre-match ritual. Both Martini Brothers chug down a bottle of Jack Daniels and then break the bottle over their heads. Suave: “Yes, it’s a little unorthodox. But what the hell, they used to be the champions. They can do whatever they want.”

The bell rings. Dan Martini and Hunter the Hunter to start. Palin cheers her team on outside the ring. Lock up in the middle of the ring. Hunter goes for an armdrag takedown but Dan stumbles over his own two feet and falls anyways. Hunter with kicks. Dan gets up and inadvertently headbutts Hunter in the balls. Dan stumbles back to the corner- tags Don in. Don attempts to climb in but gets hung up in the ring ropes. Hunter senses an opportunity and charges. Don flops in just as Hunter arrives and eats the corner turnbuckle. Hunter wobbles back and falls over Don. Crowd chants for the Drunken Luchadors. A brief lock up and an attempted knee by Hunter that whiffs when Don staggers out of the way. Hunter tries rights, and then the boots…and misses again. Disgusted, Hunter turns and tags in Grizzly Adam.

Suave: “Well, let’s see if Grizzly Adam has better luck with the Drunken Luchador.” Another lock up. Grizzly picks up Don…press slam. Grizzly picks him up again…bear hug! Grizzly squeezes the hell out of Don. *BRRRACCCKKK!* Suave: “HOLY CRAP! DON MARTINI JUST…BURPED…IN GRIZZLY’S FACE!” Grizzly waves his hand in front of his face to get the smell away. Don staggers back and tags Dan back in. Dan attempts a missile drop kick and misses. Grizzly picks up him and power slams him to the canvas. Dan somehow pulls himself back up. Grizzly charges for a lariat. Dan loses his footing and drops on his seat. Grizzly misses and slams into the turnbuckle. He, too, falls over Dan to the canvas. Dan tries to climb up the corner turnbuckle. He makes it to the top…and falls out of the ring through a table. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! You know? It’s bad enough when someone puts you through a table. But when you put yourself through a table….sheesh.”

Grizzly up on the top of the turnbuckle. Don Martini crawls up to the top rope as well. Martini loses his footing and crotches himself. The movement causes Grizzly to lose his footing and he crotches himself on the other turnbuckle. Don falls back into the Tree of Woe. Hunter the Hunter in the ring. He goes for a baseball slide. Don suddenly tumbles back and his feet connect with Hunter’s forehead as he flips backwards. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! WHAT A MOVE!” Palin can’t believe it. Palin: “OH, COME ON!” Don lands on top of Hunter. 1…2…Hunter kicks out. Dan Martini is back on his feet and trying to climb back into the ring. Palin over. *WHACK* Suave: “She just nailed Dan Martini with the hockey stick!” Dan falls back right into the ‘Alaskan Pitbull’ and steamrolls her over.

Grizzly hits another press slam on Don Martini. Lift and BEAR HUG! Suave: “HE’S GOT IT CINCHED IN! COULD THIS BE…oh, oh.” Don starts to violently wretch. Grizzly squeezes harder. Don wretches and then… Suave: “GREEN SLIME!…no…PROJECTILE VOMIT!” A solid stream of vomit hits Grizzly and he loses his footing. Don passes out on top of him. 1…2…3.

WINNER OF THE TAG TEAM TOURNAMENT: DRUNKEN LUCHADORS DAN and DON MARTINI

Suave: “I DON’T BELIEVE IT! THE DRUNKEN LUCHADORS, OUT OF PCW FOR OVER A YEAR, COME BACK AND TAKE THE PCW MARCH MAYHEM TAG TEAM TOURNAMENT. They’re trying to give them the trophy…but they’re both passed out. Okay…congratulation Martinis and here’s the WRRRRRAHH! Beer Gratuitous Vomiting Moment of the Night.”

REPLAY: THE WRRRRRRRRRAH! BEER GRATUITOUS VOMITING MOMENT OF THE NIGHT
Don wretches in slow motion. He opens his mouth and a stream (think water from a fire hose) of vomit hits Grizzly in the face. He loses his footing. Don passes out. Game over.

Suave: “Well, as they clean up the ring, we’ll be back after this commercial break.”

Suave: “Okay…we’re back and ready for our main event.  After what happened Sunday night between Domination Inc. and Kathryn Randall Collins, this could be a real wild ride.”

MATCH #3 PCW EXTREME MARCH MAYHEM WOMEN’S TOURNAMENT CHAMPIONSHIP
#6 DAISY CUTTER-BOMB w/Domination Inc. (Domination Inc.) vs.
#2 KATHRYN RANDALL COLLINS w/Hillary Clinton and the Clinton Political Pitbulls (Progressive Alliance)

Suave: “Here we go!”  The bell rings.  Suave: “Both women cautiously come out.  They lock up in the middle.  KRC pushes Daisy down.”  Daisy shoots KRC a glare and pops right back up.  Suave: “Lock up.  OW!  Kick to the gut by Daisy Cutter-Bomb.  She’s got an arm wringer on now.  KRC tries to reverse…and she does.  WHOA!  BACK KICK BY DAISY AND KRC IS IN SOME SERIOUS PAIN!”  KRC doubles over.  Then she snaps and rams Daisy’s head into the turnbuckle.  Suave: “KRC ramming the head of Daisy Cutter-Bomb over and over and over into the turnbuckle.”  Mr. McMann, flanked by his Corporate Enforcer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, looks on with some concern.  Suave: “Body slam by KRC.  KRC turns it o-verrrr…into a Boston Crab!  ROUGH JUSTICE IN THE RING!  HOLY CRAP!  D.B. RUFF CLOTHESLINES KRC!”  Rahm Emanuel gets on the ring apron and yells at Ruff.  The Clinton Political Pitbulls walk to the other end of the ring causing Ruff and Connor Justice to retreat back to their corner.

Suave: “Daisy on offense now.  Scoop slam.  Off the ropes…elbow drop.”  Daisy calls for a chair.  Kirk Walstreit obliges.  Suave: “She’s got a chair…BUT RAHM EMANUEL TAKES IT AWAY FROM HER!”  The crowd cheers.  Suave: “HERE COMES ROUGH JUSTICE AGAIN!  *CLANG*  CHAIRSHOT TO RUFF!  *CLANG* CHAIRSHOT TO JUSTICE!”  Emnauel turns and faces Daisy Cutter-Bomb.  KRC swoops in from behind.  Suave: “ROLL-UP!  ONE…TWO…NO!  DAISY KICKS OUT AT TWO.  Front face-lock by KRC.  Ruff and Justice crawl from the ring.  KRC turns it around…Neckbreaker!  Cover.  One…two…Daisy kicks out.  KRC pulls her up by the hair.  That can’t feel good.  She drapes her over the ropes.”  KRC splashes Daisy from behind driving her throat into the ring ropes.  Daisy slingshots off and lands back first on the canvas.  Suave: “Nasty move there by KRC.  Now Emanuel hands her a chair.  *CLANG*  HOLY CRAP!”  Daisy wobbles and falls into the ropes.  *CLANG*  Suave: “RIGHT TO THE BACK!”  KRC puts the chair down.  Suave: “Headlock…DDT ON THE CHAIR!  COVER.  1…2…HERE WE GO!  IT’S THE QUEEN OF POLITICAL EXTREME ANN COULTER!”  Coulter attacks KRC with lefts and rights.  Suave: “LAURA INGRAHAM IN THE RING TOO!  THEY’RE DOUBLE TEAMING KRC AND RAHM EMANUEL BREAKS IT UP!  HERE COMES THE CLINTON POLITICAL PITBULLS!  CARVILLE AND BEGALA WADE IN AND WE’VE GOT EVERYONE IN THE RING!  THE RIGHT WING BRIGADIERS ATTACKED KRC AND NOW IT’S A FREE FOR ALL.  EMANUEL DROPS AN F-BOMB ON D.B. RUFF!  OHHHH.  COULTER JUST KICKED HIM IN THE NETHER REGIONS.  HOLY CRAP!  NOW WHO’S COMING DOWN?  IT’S THE PCW SECURITY DIRECTOR DAWN McGILL!  McGILL GRABS INGRAHAM BY THE HAIR AND FLINGS HER OVER THE TOP ROPE!”  The ring slowly clears.  Suave: “McGILL KICKS EMANUEL OUT OF THE RING AND TELLS THE DOMINATION INC CONTINGENT THAT THEY’D BETTER STAY RIGHT WHERE THEY ARE.”

McGill and Mr. McMann engage in a conversation.  Suave: “Dawn McGill restoring some order to this very important match.  The winner meets PCW Women’s Champion ‘PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin next week for the title.  RAKE TO THE EYES BY DAISY CUTTER-BOMB!”  Daisy lowers her head and pushes KRC back hard into the corner turnbuckle.  Suave: “That’ll knock the wind right out of you.”  Daisy does it again.  And again.   And again.  The fifth time, KRC sidesteps and then pushes Daisy headfirst into the turnbuckle.  Suave: “KRC rings Daisy’s bell with that move.  Daisy staggers back.  DIAMOND CUTTER!  DIAMOND CUTTER!  KRC COVERS.  ONE…TWO…NO!  DAISY SOMEHOW GETS HER LEFT SHOULDER UP.  NOW SHE’S GOT HER UP…AND…YES!  POLITICS OF PERSONAL DESTRUCTION!  KRC COVERS AND COULTER AND INGRAHAM ARE IN THE RING AGAIN!”  Coulter tackles KRC and they start rolling around the ring.  Suave: “CAT-FIIIIIIGHT!   CAT-FIIIIIIGHT!  AND HERE COMES THE ANGRY LEFT WING BLOGGERS!”  Daily Kos, Media Matters for America, Paul Krugman, and Arianna Huffington hit the ring.  Suave: “AGAIN, THE MATCH BREAKS DOWN AND DAWN McGILL WADES IN.  KRC HAD THIS MATCH WON UNTIL THE QUEEN OF POLITICAL EXTREME ANN COULTER TACKLED HER AND STOPPED THE COUNT.  McGILL THROWS COULTER THROUGH THE ROPES…WHOA…HUFFINGTON JUST POSTED DAISY CUTTER-BOMB.  KRC WITH A SECOND POLITICS OF PERSONAL DESTRUCTION FINISHER.  SHE COVERS.  ONE…TWO…THREE.

WINNER OF THE PCW EXTREME MARCH MAYHEM WOMEN’S TOURNAMENT: KATHRYN RANDALL COLLINS

Suave: “KRC GETS THE WIN AND THE TITLE SHOT.   BUT THIS THING ISN’T OVER YET.   AND NOW!   WHO?  YES  IT IS!  IT’S BLUE DOG D AND RINO!  THESE TWO MAY NOT SHARE THE SAME AFFILITATION BUT THEY’RE COMMITTED TO WORKING TOGETHER.  RINO WITH A SPEAR!  SPEAR!  SPEAR!   HE NEARLY TOOK KIRK WALSTREIT’S SKIN OFF HIS BODY.  BLUE DOG D TOSSES INGRAHAM.  HE TOSSES OUT COULTER.  NEXT WEEK, PCW NIGHT OF CHAMPIONS!  FOUR TITLE MATCHS AND A WHOLE LOT MORE!  I’M JOHNNY SUAVE AND WE’LL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK!”