Ron Paul Drops a Moneybomb, Cheney and Powell Argue Over Book: 8/29-PCW Extreme Political TV

PCW Extreme Political TV
East Kentucky Expo Center
Pikeville, Kentucky
Monday August 29th, 2011
Host: Johnny Suave

Suave welcomes everyone to PCW Extreme Political TV.   Tonight, there will be an announcement regarding the future of PCW Champion ‘The Japanese SuperDestroyer’ Yamamoto Tanaka (D).  Plus, after blowing up two women’s matches Thursday night on PCW Politics Is War, where will Valora’s Path of Rage strike next?

The big match on the docket:
-Democrats have a grudge match between ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism and Triple R.  Last week on PCW Politics Is War show, Triple R eliminated Chism during a three way dance Waiver match by dropping him onto barbed wire.   Then later on…

…Bahama comes back with a Springboard elbow.  Triple R gets tied to the TREE OF WOE!!!   Bahama dropkicks a chair into Triple R’s face.  Triple R is busted open now.   Bahama then beats his ass while Triple R screams for help from Stone Chism.  Bahama applies the Bahama Backbreaker.   Here comes Chism with a steel chair.   He goes after Bahama…NO.  CHISM KILLS TRIPLE R with the chair shot!  Bahama covers…1…2…3…

MATCH #1
‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) w/The Skanky Rich Bimbos: Kim, Courtney, and Chloe vs. Triple R (D)

Chism is the darling of the Hollywood Left.  Triple R the darling of the Angry Left Wing Bloggers.

…Chism misses a dive to the floor.  Knee gets banged up in the process.  Suave notes that Triple R baited him into hurting himself.  Chism continues to fight.   A rope walk rana is blocked.  Frogsplash should finish Triple R but someone runs out and pulls Chism off.  IT’s the Angry Left Wing Bloggers: Markos Moutilsas of the Daily Kos, Arianna Huffington, Firedog Lake’s Jane Hamsher, and Eric Boehlert from Media Matters for America.

The Hollywood Left respond by running to the ring to break it up.   In the midst of the chaos, Chism slaps a figure four on Triple R.  Kim Cardis-Sheehan grabs Chism’s hands for extra leverage and Triple R is forced to tap out @ 6:36.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

When PCW returns, the Skanky Rich Bimbos are lying unconscious in the ring with Chism.  Triple R lies on the floor outside the ring.  Who’s in the ring…

Valora Salinas (I)

Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”

Valora and her lead pipe stand over the fallen Cardis-Sheehans.  Valora’s “Path of Rage” continues and she departs.

Suddenly, Big Oil‘s music hits.  He comes out to the entrance ramp and says that he wants to make it perfectly clear that it’s not his fault that gas prices haven’t dropped.  But rather, the fault lies with the American People for continuing to use gas like it will never go away.  But tonight, Big Oil  mentions he and tag team partner are entitled to challenge the Republican’s #1 team for their spot.  He wants it to happen tonight.

The Leader of the PCW Competition Committee John Boehner (R-OH) walks out and says that the Schmidts told him that they would meet Big Oil and Walkstreit tonight.    Boehner tells Big Oil he is starting to become an embarrassment to everyone in the PCW and Texas itself.

Backstage
Former George W. Bush aide de camp Dick Cheney promotes his new book, In My Time.  While promoting the memoir, Cheney promised that there would be “heads exploding all over Washington” when the book hits the shelves tomorrow.

Cheney is confronted by Colin Powell who tells him that his head isn’t exploding and to knock off the cheap shots.   Powell: “You had a long and distinguished career, and I hope in this book that is what you will focus on, not these cheap shots that you’re taking at me and other members of the administration who served to the best of our ability for PCW CEO Bush.”

Cheney and Powell exchange words.   Cheney accuses him of not being forthcoming with his opinions to Bush.  Powell retorts “nonsense.” He states Bush knew that I told him what I thought about every issue of the day.  Cheney holds up a copy of the book as we go to a commercial…

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Republican Headquarters
With Rick Perry (R-TX) looking on, Texas Jack (R) officially signed on to be the Republicans #2 wrestler.  Jack says he’s looking forward to winning a play-in spot in next months Lock and Load Tournament.

Three of the four spots for the Lock and Load Tournament have been filled: PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka (D)- the Democrats #1 wrestler, ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R)- the Republican’s #1, and now former PCW Champion O’Beck Bahama (D)- who won a Waiver into the match Thursday night.

Replay-ROUND ONE OF LOCK AND LOAD TOURNAMENT PLAY-IN: Daniel-San (I) w/Mrs. Miyagi vs. ‘The Self-Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor (D) vs. ‘Bureaucrat’ Andy Riley (D) vs. Kevin Collins of Paul Ryan’s Raiders (R)

…Daniel-San looks around and goes to the top.  Riley is looking away.  Daniel-San hits the five star frog splash! LABELL LOCK!  Blackwell has Big Labor locked up in the Tazzmission in the corner.  Riley taps…‘Bureaucrat’ Andy Riley eliminated

Daniel-San to the top of an adjacent corner.  Blackwell holds a chair on Big Labor’s face, VAN TERMINATOR!  Big Labor topples over.  Daniel-San quickly slaps on the Cattle Mutilation.  Big Labor taps…

Backstage
Angry at what took place earlier in the night, the Angry Left Wing Bloggers: Markos Moutilsas of the Daily Kos, Arianna Huffington, Firedog Lake’s Jane Hamsher, and Eric Boehlert from Media Matters for America kidnap Christine O’Donnell (R-DE), tie her to a stake, dump a pile of her new book, Troublemaker, at her feet, and set them ablaze.

Security personnel quickly rush to the scene and put the fire out.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Upcoming Shows:
8/29- PCW Extreme Political TV
9/8- PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN
9/12- PCW Extreme Political TV
9/15- PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN
9/19- PCW Extreme Political TV
9/22- PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN
9/25- PCW Lock and Load PPV

Tanaka Announcement
With PCW CEO Barack Obama (D-IL) by his side, PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka (D) announces backstage that he is indeed leaving PCW at the end of next month.  Tanaka is returning to Japan to wrestle there.

MAIN EVENT- NON-TITLE MATCH:
PCW Tag Team Champions The Schmidt Brothers: Jack and Joe (R) w/Ron Paul (R-TX) vs. Corporate Might: Big Oil (R) w/Texas Tex and Kirk Walstreit (R)
-winner becomes/remains the Republican’s #1 tag team
-loser becomes/remains the Republican’s #2 tag team

Both teams combined have won the PCW Tag Team Title five times.  Both teams beat each other from pillar to post in this match.

…Jack boots Walstreit down in the corner but then misses an elbow.  Big Oil drops Jack with a German suplex.  Joe tags in.  Joe suplexes Walstreit.  But Big Oil interferes again and splashes Joe in the corner.  All four in the ring now.  Jack delivers a bulldog to Big Oil.  Joe low blows Walstreit and makes the cover.  Texas Tex now in the ring and he breaks the pin with his golden money belt.

Jack DDT’s both Kirk Walstreit and Texas Tex simultaneously.  Joe tries to slap a sleeper hold on Big Oil but the big guy drops him.  Walstreit nails Jack with a Cyclone Kick.  Walstreit tries to make the pin on Joe but Ron Paul makes the save at two.  Big Oil spins Paul around but Jack low bridges him.  Big Oil throws Jack out of the ring and he and Walstreit  deliver the Corporate  Swing to Joe for two.  Joe fights out of the doubleteam and sends Walstreit into Big Oil.  Ron Paul on the top rope with a big cashbox…MONEYBOMB!  Walstreit is knocked out and Joe makes the cover…1…2…3…pin at 10:09.

Suave reminds everyone that PCW will be off the rest of the week and will return next Thursday night with PCW Politics Is War on P-SPAN.  Happy Labor Day everyone!

PCW Rewind: Interesting Past PCW Matches

No PCW Extreme Political TV tonight.   PCW goes back into the vaults and pulls out some old matches from the archives.  Enjoy.

From October 26th, 2006 PCW Extreme Political TV

Rush Limbaugh segment.
The crowd boos as the Alice in Chains hit “Man In the Box” blares over the loudspeaker. “Here comes the Innovator of Extreme Excellence in Broadcasting,” Suave says, “what is that? The I-E-E-I-B network?”

“Ox-y-con-tin!” they chant and clap.

“That’s right,” Limbaugh says, “it is I. El Rushbo. The maha-rushbie. With talent on loan from God!”

“Well you better give it back to him,” Suave cracks, “because you sure as hell ain’t using it.”

Limbaugh comes out to address the whole issue of Michael J. Fox. Rush asks
if everyone’s seen the commercial. He then mimics Fox’s restless torso weaves
and writhes, and head bobs from side to side on the commercial. “A**hole!” the
crowd chants in response. “He is exaggerating the effects of his disease,” Limbaugh claims, “He’s moving all around and shaking and it’s purely an act.”

More boos rain in. “This is low, even for the Innovator of Extreme Excellence in
Broadcasting,” Suave opines, he’s mocking someone with Parkinson’s Disease.”

“Michael J. Fox has never portrayed any of the symptoms of the disease like this. He can barely control himself,” Limbaugh says. He again makes fun of Fox’s ‘funky movement’ thing.

The crowd goes nuts when Michael J. Fox comes out. He’s not moving nearly as much as on the commercial. “It’s ironic, given some of the things that have been said, that my pills are working really well right now,” he says in response. Fox tells Limbaugh this isn’t about politics; it’s about stem cell research.

“You’re allowing your illness to be exploited by shilling for the Democrats,” Limbaugh responds.

Fox again tells him he’s not acting and he’s advocating stem cell research.

Limbaugh repeats his assertions that he’s being used by the Democrats.

Fox tells him he’s wrong and he’s being his usual bully self. The crowd cheers.

Limbaugh throws down the mic and dares Fox to come into the ring. “You want me, in the ring with you?” Fox asks. Limbaugh holds the rope down and dares him to come inside.

“Fine. You’re on,” Fox says, “we’ll meet later tonight.”

Limbaugh tells him to make sure he takes his meds before he comes back out. The crowd then chants ‘Oxycontin” again. “Shut up!” Limbaugh snaps…

———————

Match #3- Rush Limbaugh (American Patriots) vs. Michael J.
Fox
Limbaugh comes out first to the ring. The crowd lets him have it big time. Loud boos and the ever-present “Oxycontin” chant.

“Well, the Innovator of Extreme Excellence in Broadcasting is in the ring,” Suave says. “We’re waiting for Michael J. Fox to come out.” A few more seconds go by and nothing.

Limbaugh grabs the mic. “Of course, he’s not coming out,” he says. “he’s just
pretending to be-” The crowd interrupts Limbaugh with a huge cheer. “What?”

Suave says, trying to see the action, “HOLY CRAP! IT’S THE PCW CHAMPION CHRIS ESCONDIDO!” Limbaugh’s cocky, haughty demeanor melts away when the PCW Champion comes to the ring. He quickly looks for a way out. “LIMBAUGH HAS NO WHERE TO RUN,” Suave says, “AND NO WHERE TO HIDE!”

Escondido takes the mic. “You know, Rush,” he says, “you talk a good game when it’s someone who probably isn’t in good enough condition to defend himself.” Escondido calls Limbaugh a bully and tells him to take his best shot. Rush gets cornered and tries to beg off. Escondido doesn’t buy it and lifts him up to give him a suplex. The crowd goes nuts. “HOLY CRAP!” Suave shouts out, “HE’S GOING TO DO IT! HE’S GOING TO-”

Out of nowhere, Justin Sufferable’s catch phrase “Not just intolerable. Not just
unbearable. I am Justin Sufferable!” plays over the sound system. Sufferable
then runs in and whacks the champion in the back with a Singapore cane.
Escondido drops Limbaugh on his back hard and then staggers into the corner.

“Sufferable’s trying to get a head start on BCEW Extreme Election Night!” Suave
says as Justin whacks Escondido repeatedly with the Singapore cane. “He wants
the PCW title badly!” Again the crowd noises rises. “HOLY CRAP! IT’S A. TOM
BOMB!”

A. Tom Bomb (A-Bomb) hits the ring and power slams Sufferable. Then he power slams Chris Escondido. Then Sufferable again, this time bouncing him from the ring. A-Bomb looks to slam Escondido again but he slips under the ropes. A-Bomb looks down at Rush Limbaugh and grins. Limbaugh looks up at the hulking A-Bomb and gets a real bug-eyed, mouth open expression. He tries to leave but Hy Drogen Bomb blocks the way.

“Limbaugh’s stuck and he’s in a real bad place right now!” Suave observes. H-Bomb grabs a table from underneath and throws it in the ring. “HERE WE GO!” Suave says. H-Bomb climbs to the top rope. A-Bomb clubs Limbaugh and helps set him up. H-Bomb lifts up Limbaugh and powerbombs him through the table.

“HOLY CRAP!” Suave shouts.

From November 7, 2006- PCW Extreme Election Night 2006

MATCH #2- THREE WAY DANCE- JOE LIEBERMAN (Independent), NED LAMONT (Democrat), and ALAN SCHLESINGER (Republican)

“Yeah, I guess we’ll see just how ‘fair’ the night goes,” Suave cracks. Suave
starts into the next match. He recaps the first match up between Joe Lieberman
and Ned Lamont. The replay shows that Lieberman and Lamont have been through a war. As Lamont goes for a spear, Lieberman trips him up with a drop toe hold and locks on the abdominal stretch. The Bloggers then make a move to intervene. Behind Lieberman, Daily Kos slips in the ring wearing brass knuckles. Eric Alterman and Media Matters distracts Lieberman and Daily Kos nails him with the brass knucks. Media Matters rolls Lieberman over and points Lamont to make the cover.

“All right, the Left Wing Bloggers Daily Kos, Media Matters for America, and Eric Alterman were the difference the last time Lieberman and Lamont met up,” explained Suave. “This time, Alan Schlesinger may be the wild card of the group.”

The bell rings and immediately the Bloggers pile into the ring and attack Lieberman. Schlesinger joins in. “HOLY CRAP! IT’S FIVE AGAINST ONE!” Suave says as the referee is powerless to prevent the outside interference.

Lieberman is whipped into the ropes and Daily Kos and Media Matters set to double team him. Lieberman clotheslines the two bloggers but then gets blindsided by Eric Alterman.

The Bomb Brothers (A. Tom Bomb, Hy Drogen Bomb, and Newt Tron Bomb) run out. “HERE THEY COME!” Suave says as the crowd stands up and cheers, “THE ODDS HAVE JUST BEEN EVENED UP!”

A-Bomb power slams Eric Alterman. H-Bomb lifts Daily Kos in the air and tosses him over the top rope through a ringside table. “HOLY CRAP!” Suave says as Daily Kos is buried amongst the remains of the table.

“PCW!…PCW!” chants the crowd. A-Bomb corners Alan Schlesinger. Schlesinger desperately calls out to the Republicans in the back for help. As A-Bomb lifts him up and Newt Tron Bomb sets a table up in the ring, Schlesinger calls out for Dick, or The Mastermind Karl Rove, or even the Rookie Sensation Starz N. Stripes. No help arrives and A-Bomb Atomic Powerbombs Schlesinger through the table. Lieberman covers and Schlesinger is eliminated.

The crowd serenades Schlesinger with the ‘na, na. hey-hey-hey goodbye’ song.

H-Bomb decks Media Matters and then climbs out of the ring. He grabs Media Matters’s legs and crotches him on the ringpost. H-Bomb then rolls him out of the ring.

“IT’S DOWN TO LIEBERMAN AND LAMONT NOW!” Suave says. “Now we’ll find out just what Lamont is made of.”

Lamont appears unsure and turns around looking for help. He calls for The American Screamer Howard Dean, “The Natural” Barack Obama, or anyone else from the Democratic side to come help him.  Like Schlesinger, no help arrives. “I think its safe to say that the ‘Joe-mentum’ is on Lieberman’s side now,” Suave says. Suddenly, another left wing blogger, Arianna Huffington, shrieks down the aisle towards the ring to help Lamont and runs into the manager of the Bomb Brothers Daisy Cutter-Bomb. Daisy lays her out with a wicked clothesline. Lieberman stomps his foot three times and sets him up for his closer.

LIEBERMAN’S GOING FOR THE ‘JOE-STOPPER!” Suave says.

Lamont turns around just in time to catch a superkick right to his chin. “That’s a pretty good kick for an old guy,” Suave cracks. “I didn’t think he could get his leg that high.” Lamont drops as if he’s been shot. Lieberman covers and that’s the match.

WINNER: JOE LIEBERMAN (I)

Huffington throws a fit and stomps around at ringside as Joe holds up his hand in victory.

Also from PCW Extreme Election Night 2006:

MATCH #4- BCEW TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH- PEACENIK #1 & 2 of the Green World Order (Democrat) vs. DRUNKEN LUCHADORS DAN & DON- THE FLYIN’ MARTINI BROTHERS (Independent)

Extreme attorneys Felcher and Felcher joins Johnny Suave at ringside. “Swell,”
he mumbles. Immediately Peacenik #1 complains about the Martini Brothers
drinking in the ring. Both Martini Brothers chug a bottle of Jack Daniels and
then break the bottle over their heads. “Yes, it’s a little unorthodox,” Suave
explains, “but hell, they’re the champions. They can do whatever they
want.”

Peacenik #1 and Don Martini to begin. Crowd chants for the Drunken Luchadors.  A brief lock up and an attempted knee by Peacenik #1 that whiffs
because Don staggers out of the way.  Peacenik #1 tries rights now, and then the
boots…and misses again. “Here we go again,” Suave says.

R Felcher yells at Don Martini to stand still.

Suave shoots back, “Yeah, easier said than done.”

Peacenik #1 gets frustrated and rushes at Don. He clips the Drunken Luchador and sends him to the canvas. The Felchers cheer at the announcer’s table. Peacenik #1 goes for a leg drop but Dan Martini pulls Don out of the way.

Apparently Dan is the more sober one tonight,” observes Suave.

A tag is made and Dan Martini gets into the ring. Peacenik #1 again tries to bull over Dan. Dan topples to the canvas and Peacenik #1 rams into the corner ringpost.

“Of course, I could be wrong,” Suave says.

Peacenik #1 staggers back to his corner and tags in Peacenik #2.

Dan Martini climbs to the top rope. Suave cringes. “Oooh, this can’t be a good thing.”

Peacenik #2 simply waits. Dan leaps off the top rope and misses Peacenik #2 completely. “Definitely, not a good thing,” Suave says as Peacenik #2 goes for the cover but somehow Dan kicks out. “In the interest of fairness, he should have let the Green World Order pin him,” whines R Felcher.

“Yes,” chimes in B Felcher. “Haven’t they been tag team champions long enough?”

The other two members of the Green World Order, The Vengeful Vegan Brock Cole Lee and Peta from PETA come down to the ring. Brock Cole Lee slips a bottle of chloroform and a handkerchief to Peacenik #1. “Now what are they up to!” asks Suave. “Justice!” offers R Felcher. “That bottle of chloroform represents justice for the Green World Order.”

Peacenik #1 motions #2 to throw Dan Martini into their corner. Peacenik #2 tries to lift the Drunken Luchador up- he’s dead weight. Finally, Brock Cole Lee interjects himself into the match and helps Peacenik #2 drag Dan to their corner.

“It’s all over!” gloats R Felcher. D Felcher concurs, “There’s no way that-”

“HERE COME THE BOMB BROTHERS!” interrupts Suave, AND THE RAVING REDNECKS-LOCKE AND LOADE!”

Suave quickly recaps how Felcher and Felcher used the judicial system to deny the Bomb Brothers or the Raving Rednecks from wrestling for the tag team title.

“This is not acceptable!” R Felcher says.

A-Bomb tears Peacenik #1 off the edge of the ring and slams him into the steel barricade. The bottle of chloroform drops on the floor and Earl Locke picks it up. He immediately uses it on Peacenik #1 and takes him out. Gary Loade bulldogs Brock Cole Lee and then Locke and Loade deliver a devastating 4-D Redneck Death Blast to the Vengeful Vegan. Peacenik #2 ducks out of the ring but runs into H-Bomb.

“Oh, oh!” Suave warns.

Peacenik #2 immediately runs back into the ring and inadvertently elbows Dan Martini in the stomach. Dan starts to look green.

HOLY CRAP! HE’S GOING FOR THEIR FINISHER!”

Suave says as Peacenik #2 gets a real concerned look. “Someone stop him,” R
Felcher says. Too late. Dan spews green mist…no too chunky…projectile vomits all over Peacenik #2.

“WOW!” Suave exclaims. “He must have ate a lot for supper tonight!”

Dan passes out and headbutts Peacenik #2. Peacenik #2 down and covered
by Drunken Luchador Dan. 1-2-3. Match.

WINNER AND STILL BCEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: THE DRUNKEN LUCHADORS, DAN AND DON- THE FLYING MARTINI BROTHERS

A-Bomb grabs R Felcher; Gary Loade grabs B Felcher.  Both Felchers are dragged unceremoniously into the ring.

“It’s been nice knowing you guys,” Suave says, “NOT!”

Locke and Loade deliver another 4-D Redneck Death Blast to B Felcher while A-Bomb and H-Bomb double-power A-Bombs R Felcher.

“And that my friends,” Suave says, “is what I call a happy ending.”

We’ll be back with a new episode of PCW Extreme Political TV next Monday night.

————————-

Why I Won’t Support Ron Paul – Steve Fleisher
Shock and Awww, Not Again! – Nonnie 999/Hysterical Raisans
Trump And Huckabee Out, Who Benefits The Most? – Sensico
“Le Great seducer”, Frenchman Dominique assaults SOFITAL chamber maid in $3,000 a night penthouse suite?! - Pan Am
Some Thoughts on Life Post-Osama - Rutherford Lawson Blog
Burden Shifting Is the Mark of Tyranny – Taxes, Stupidity, and Death
Romney dials for dollars – CNN Political Ticker
Huckabee decision puts evangelical votes up for grabs – CNN Political Ticker
Was he ever serious? How Trump strung the country along, again – CNN Political Ticker
Nearly 20 percent of new Obamacare waivers are gourmet restaurants, nightclubs, fancy hotels in Nancy Pelosi’s district – Daily Caller
How alleged Tea Party fraud Jack Davis came to run as the ‘Tea Party’ candidate in NY’s 26th district special election – Daily Caller
Paul Ryan: Newt Gingrich Misunderstood Medicare Plan – Huffington Post
Obama Tries To Fire Up Frustrated Supporters Ahead Of 2012 – Huffington Post
Ari Melber: In Rap Battle, Stewart Demolishes O’Reilly on O’Reilly Factor – Huffington Post
Huckabee Booster in South Carolina Shifts Support to Huntsman – Roll Call
House Freshman Berg Will Run for Senate in North Dakota – Roll Call
The Job Nobody Wants: GOP’s Growing 2012 Dropout List – Daily Beast
Campaign Surrogates Pose Challenge for Obama – Political Wire
Romney Raises More Than $10 Million in a Day – Political Wire
McConnell sees ‘great opportunity’ – Politico Live
Please Do Not Google the Name of This Undervalued Republican Candidate – Swampland
Trump exit signals end to silly season – Politico Live
Charter Schools, Trump, Huckabee, and Newt #EERS – Red State
Mitt Romney’s Vegas Payoff: Raises $10.25M In Day-Long Phone-a-Thon – The Note, ABC
What President Obama is telling high school graduates this year: ‘Being president is a great job’ - LA Times- Top of the Ticket
Rush Limbaugh on Newt Gingrich’s attack on Paul Ryan: ‘I’m as befuddled as anyone else’ – LA Times- Top of the Ticket
Open thread for night owls: Wall Street Still A Nest Of Criminality – Daily Kos
Trump’s lesson – Ben Smith/Politico
The Rebuke in Dubuque: Gingrich’s Rocky Campaign Start Somehow Gets Even Rockier – Michelle Malkin
Charles Krauthammer On Newt Gingrich: ‘He’s Done, It’s Over’ – Mediaite
Jon Stewart To Bill O’Reilly: ‘There Is A Selective Outrage Machine Here At Fox’ – Mediaite
The Daily Wrap – Daily Dish

2/28-PCW Extreme Political TV in Berkeley, CA

PCW Extreme Political TV
Kleberger Field House
Berkeley, California
Monday February 28st, 2011
Host: Johnny Suave

Suave introduces PCW in California for the first time ever.

Johnny Suave and his life size cardboard cut-out of Shania Twain

*flute and clarinet flourish*

Two men come out and unroll a white carpet to the ring steps. Dancers then dance. Ballet dancers…ballet? Little children walk up the white carpet and drop rose petals. Someone lets loose some pigeons…not sure just how they’ll get out of the building.  The crowd stands as PCW CEO Barack Obama appears.  Behind Obama walks Joe Biden.

PCW CEO Barack Obama

Obama and Biden climb into the ring and join Suave.  Obama tells him that he’s ready to make a huge announcement about next month’s pay per view show- PCW Weapons of Mass Political Destruction.  Obama confirms that newly crowned PCW Champion ‘American Citizen’  Kevin Scott (R)…

‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R)

Obama pauses as the crowd boos the Republican.   Then he finishes his pronouncement that Scott will face former two time PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka (D)…

Yamamoto Tanaka (D)

The crowd cheers but then muted as Daily Kos founder Markos Moulitsas comes out.

Markos wants to know why not someone as committed and willing to do the dirty work to put the Democrats over.  Someone like…

Road Rage Randy (Triple R) (D)

The crowd goes nuts at the mention of Triple R.  Markos adds that the only way to defeat the Republicans is to be just as extreme as they are.  Triple R knows how to dish out the extreme.

Suave responds there’s this little thing called a three-way match that Triple R lost to Tanaka.  Suave offers to show it to Markos but he declines.

Obama steps in and says that Tanaka will get the job done next month and bring the PCW title back to the Democrats.

So it’s official:
PCW Title Match next month at Weapons of Mass Political Destruction- Kevin Scott (R) vs. Yamamoto Tanaka (D)

———————-

MATCH #1

‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) w/ the Skanky Rich Bimbos
vs.
RINO- The Wonk Machine (R)

Before the match, Chism gets on the mic and says HE is the one that should wrestle Kevin Scott for the PCW Title.  Then he introduces the new version of the SRB aka The Skanky Rich Bimbos: Kim Carr Skank-Sheehan, Chloe Carr Skank-Sheehan, and Courtney Carr Skank-Sheehan.

Suave: “How appropo.”

RINO runs everyone out of the ring to start. Crowd chants “RINO”. We have introductions. The SRB taunts the crowd and teases flashing them. RINO starts with a headlock and a hiptoss. Five punches by RINO. The SRB attack RINO outside and Chism hits a Flying Press. RINO hits a Belly To Belly. RINO hits a Flying Press over the ropes to the outside. RINO misses the Wonk Wham. Chism hits a powerbomb for 2. Chism is on RINO in the corner. Chism hits a jawbreaker. Chism gets caught on the turnbuckle. RINO with a Superplex for 2. RINO is dancing? Crowd chants “She’s got Herpes” to the SRB. Chism rolls up RINO for 2. Chism misses the Swanton Bomb. RINO hits a Superkick for 2. RINO gets the chair. All three Carr Skank-Sheehan girls flash him.  Chism then gets the chair and wallops RINO with it.  Chism hits the Hollywood Blockbuster for the win.

WINNER: ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) @ 6:15

Former MSNBC commentator Keith Olbermann…

Former MSNBC Left Wing Commentator Keith Olbermann

…comes out to a standing ovation with his FOK News Channel posse in the form of David Schuster and Shannyn Moore.

David Schuster and Shannyn Moore

…to the ring.

Olbermann: “You’re either with us; or you’re against us.  There’s no middle ground.  And if you’re against us, we have just two words for you- FOK YOU!”

The music of Fleetwood Mac’s “Don’t Stop” suddenly starts to play.

Suave: “HOLY CRAP! IS THAT WHO I THINK IT IS?”

The crowd explodes. A spotlight points out a plaid shirted man with a Singapore cane and a cup of mocha appears.

Suave: “IT’S HIM! HE’S HERE! THE TREE HUGGIN’, MOCHA CHUGGIN’, TOBACCO COMPANY BUGGIN’ ALPHA MALE AND ENVIROMENTAL EXTREME HARDCORE ICON…

The Extreme Environmental Hardcore Icon Al Gore

The crowd sings the chorus “Don’t stop, thinking about tomorrow.” Gore holds up his mocha, inside an environmentally friendly biodegradable container of course, and chugs it down. Then he spews it out of his mouth into the crowd and then crushes the paper container on his forehead in a manly fashion.

The Environmental Extreme Hardcore Icon walks down the steps to the main floor. At the bottom of the steps, Gore pulls out another container of mocha, guzzles it down, spews it into the crowd, and then smashes the container on his forehead. Gore then wades through the main floor crowd to the ring.  He climbs up on the apron, pulls out yet another cup of mocha, guzzles that one down, spews it into the crowd, and then smashes the container on his forehead.

The crowd is chanting “Gore…Gore…” and dancing.  Then…

Glenn Beck (R)

Suave: “ARE YOU KIDDING ME?”

The crowd explodes into a cacophony of jeers and catcalls as Beck, holding the PCW World’s Arguing Championship title belt or ‘WAC’ title, struts down the aisle.  Beck taunts Olbermann and Gore with the belt until a group of people walk to the ring.

Suave: “Oh great.  It’s the Berkeley California City Council.”

The Berkeley California City Council announce that they’ve passed a proclamation stating if Glenn Beck steps into the ring tonight that he forfeits the PCW ‘WAC’ title.  Suave says they can’t do that.   Beck again holds up the ‘WAC’ title belt and gets blindsided from behind by MSNBC’s Joe Scarborough.

MSNBC’s Joe Scarborough

Suave: “CAT-FIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!  CAT-FIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!”

Beck gathers himself and retreats.  Scarborough calls him a stain on the conservative movement.  He says Beck is losing it before our eyes.  He’s bad for the conservative movement and he’s gone “out of control”.

MATCH #2

Blue Dog D (D)
vs.

Big Oil (R)

The crowd lets Big Oil, who walks to the ring with his manager Texas Tex, have it full guns blazing.  Blue Dog D gets a tepid round of applause.

Blue Dog D attacks Big Oil to start. Blue Dog D goes for the Non-Partisan Press, but Big Oil throws him off. Blue Dog D attacks Big Oil’s legs. Big Oil throws him off, but Blue Dog D keeps attacking. Big Oil throws Blue Dog D outside and then follows. Big Oil sends Blue Dog D into the guardrail. Big Oil drops Blue Dog D onto the ring announcer’s table. Big Oil brings in several chairs. Big Oil hits Blue Dog D with a chair. Blue Dog D is busted open. Big Oil begins to work on Blue Dog D’s leg. Big Oil taunts the crowd. Blue Dog D hits Big Oil with the chair. Blue Dog D throws Big Oil out into the crowd and starts to bite him. Blue Dog D goes up to the balcony driving off onto Big Oil who is on the floor. Blue Dog D hits Big Oil with a beer cup. Blue Dog D brings Big Oil back to ringside. Hits Big Oil with a chair twice and rolls him back into the ring covering for 2. Big Oil hits a Drop Toehold on the turnbuckle. Blue Dog D goes for another Non-Partisan Press and Big Oil dumps him over the top rope on to table below. Big Oil rolls him back into the ring and covers for 2. Big Oil hits the Oklahoma Driller and makes the cover for the win.

WINNER: Big Oil @ 5:54

After the match Big Oil bashes Blue Dog D with the chair a couple more times.  Big Oil sets up a table into the corner and drives the ref. through the table.  He then unloads on the p*****s in the crowd.  Big Oil declares that he doesn’t give a damn about them.  He derides their ‘weak’ attempt to move the country away from fossil fuels.   Then Big Oil makes fun of electric cars “What is it?  Drive for 10 miles.  Charge up for 8 hours.  How efficient.”  Of course, the Berkeley crowd is ready to string him up.  Big Oil calls $5 a gallon gasoline ‘inevitable’ and tells them to deal with it.  He throws down the mic, flips the crowd off, and leaves.

EMT’s then come out to peel Blue Dog D off of the mat.

Backstage, RINO- The Wonk Machine (R) is being assaulted by the Green World Order (GreenPete, ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee, PeaceNick, and Peta from PETA) and the Berkeley City Council.   Suave states the GWO thinks they can get away with it because none of the big Republicans bothered to show up this week.

MAIN EVENT- THREE WAY DANCE

Daniel-San (I) w/Mrs. Miyagi
vs.

Road Rage Randy (Triple R) (D) w/the Angry Left Wing Bloggers (Markos, Arianna Huffington, Jane Hamsher, and Lizz Winstead)
vs.
Brad Company (R)

Daniel-San coming off a huge singles win a couple weeks back and has a chance to establish himself as a singles contender.  Triple R’s agenda is to show the Democrats that he can defeat PCW Champion Kevin Scott.

Company enters first. Triple R is out next. Triple R’s intro is long. Daniel-San (w/ Mrs. Miyagi) is out last. The three circle in the ring. Daniel-San takes the cane from Triple R and hits the other two with it.  Daniel-San with a Tilt-a-Whirl Headscissors on Triple R. Company takes out Daniel-San with a Clothesline.  Triple R starts pounding on Company then Daniel-San. Daniel-San tosses Triple R out of ring.  Company knocks Daniel-San out of the ring. Daniel-San flies over the guardrail courtesy of Company. Company then throws Triple R on guardrail with an awkward bump to the knee. All three trade punches outside. Triple R targets Company and gives him a Sit-Down Powerbomb in the ring for 2. Triple R grabs a mic and taunts Company in the ring. Daniel-San drop kicks Company for 2. Multiple roll up by Daniel-San followed by Triple R.   Company takes out Daniel-San, then Company and Triple R hit Double Clotheslines. Daniel-San hits a Bionic Elbow on Company, Company hits a Tornado DDT on Daniel-San. Daniel-San goes for the Cattle Mutilation but gets DDT’d by Company. Triple R goes for a suplex but is reversed into a Piledriver by Company. Company hits Daniel-San with a chair. Company plants Daniel-San with a Cradle Piledriver onto the chair. Mrs. Miyagi in the ring…

Mrs. Miyagi

She kicks Triple R in the crotch, Triple R misses Mrs. Miyagi and hits Arianna instead.  Company is eliminated by Triple R’s Ragin’ Elbow.

Crowd chants “We want Gore…we want Gore.”  Mrs. Miyagi rolls out of the ring. Triple R and Daniel-San trade punches. Triple R does the Flair Flop and Daniel-San knocks him off onto the guardrail. Triple R hits a Superkick on Daniel-San. Triple R hits Daniel-San with a cup of cold beer. Daniel-San throws Triple R face first into the entranceway. Daniel-San grabs a ladder. Triple R sends Daniel-San into the ladder. Triple R rolls Daniel-San back into the ring. Daniel-San hits a Drop Toehold on Triple R onto the chair face-first. Daniel-San brings the ladder into the ring. Daniel-San bites Triple R who is busted open. Triple R low blows Daniel-San and Suplexes him onto the ladder for 2. Triple R attacks Daniel-San with the cane out in the crowd. Both climb to the balcony. Triple R canes Daniel-San on the head. Daniel-San is dangling off the balcony with one hand as Triple R canes him again. Daniel-San falls to the floor. Daniel-San is busted open. They battle back to ringside and roll into the ring. Daniel-San and Triple R trade chops, then punches, followed by more chops. Triple R sets up the ladder in the corner and climbs up it.  Daniel-San’s tag team partner ‘Foul Pole’ Andy Golatta appears…

‘The Foul Pole’ Andy Golatta (I)

Golatta pushes the ladder over and sends Triple R down to the mat.  Daniel-San locks in the Cattle Mutilation for the win.

WINNER: Daniel-San @ 10:21

PCW Rewind: Joe Leiberman (I)

As you know, Joe Leiberman announced that he is retiring from the PCW Executive Committee when his term comes up in 2012.

PCW now takes you back to, perhaps, what is Leiberman’s great triumph.  Overcoming the odds in holding on to his Executive Committee position in 2006.  Let’s go back…

September 17th, 2006 PCW Lock and Load PPV

NED LAMONT SEGMENT
Ned Lamont and his Bloggers, Media Matters for America, Eric Alterman, and The Daily Kos come to the ring and Lamond has something to say. Except when Lamond starts to talk. The Daily Kos interrupts and steps in. He gloats and dances and says that the prodigal sons, the messiahs, the saviors of the Democrats have arrived at Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon. Eric Alterman asks the PCW fans if they realize that they are part of history tonight. They have come together and are part of a history making moment. To celebrate Lamont’s historic victory over Joe Leiberman. With all humility, Daily Kos wants to thank himself and Media Matters and Alterman, for this achievement. The crowd doesn’t share his sentiment. Daily Kos tells the fans ‘screw you.’ He and his bloggers know better than the ignorant fans does. “Lamont compromised with the extreme elements of the Democrats!” Suave says. Lamont actually starts to open his mouth to say something but gets interrupted. “We are going to end the reign of the Republicans,” Daily Kos declares. “Our first step was to take on a legend in Joe Leiberman,” Alterman adds, “and we kicked his ass all over the ring!” For that, Alterman tells the audience ‘You’re welcome’ for their hard work and his ingenuity. This is our night.

“That’s a hell of a story,” an older folksy voice says from the back. “IT’S JOE LEIBERMAN!” exclaims Suave. Lamont starts to talk but Media Matters jumps in and tells him that if he makes one more step to the ring, they will kick his ass again. “You’re done,” sneers Eric Alterman, “go back to Connecticut old man before we embarrass you again. By collaborating with the Republicans in the name of co-operation, you’ve sold the Democrats down the river.”

“That’s funny, the part about you kicking my ass,” Leiberman responds. Let’s watch what really happened:

MATCH #1- REPLAY OF NED LAMONT VS. JOE LEIBERMAN- PCW SPECIAL EVENT IN HARTFORD, CONNECTICUT
It’s late in the match and Leiberman and Lamont have been through a war. As Lamont goes for a spear, Leiberman trips him up with a drop toe hold and locks on the abdominal stretch. The Bloggers then make a move to intervene. Behind Leiberman, Daily Kos slips in the ring wearing brass knuckles. Eric Alterman and Media Matters distracts Leiberman and Daily Kos nails him with the brass knucks. Media Matters rolls Leiberman over and points Lamont to make the cover.

“Oh yeah,” Leiberman says, “you kicked my ass after your goons slipped you those brass knuckles.” Media Matters dismisses Leiberman as yesterday’s news. “You know, I’d actually love to hear Lamond talk for himself.” Sauve opines. “Come on out Howard,” Daily Kos says. “YEEEEEE-AHHHH!” The American Screamer Howard Dean comes out. Dean tells Leiberman that he appreciates his years of service to the Democrats but after what happened in Hartford he has no choice but endorse Lamont. Lamont grins. “It’s time for you stand down,” he says. Leiberman tells Dean and Lamont he’s not quitting quite yet. “I’m sure all of my ‘Joe-aholics’ out there will stand with me. If the Democrats doesn’t want me, than I have no other choice but to become an independent!” The crowd goes wild while Lamont and the Bloggers are furious. Daily Kos sputters that the Bloggers didn’t care about the so-called Joe-acholics. Leiberman lost and if he doesn’t want to go away gracefully, they’ll have to take it to the extreme one more time on him. Media Matters jumps out of the ring with other Bloggers right behind and confronts Leiberman. “THAT’S FOUR AGAINST ONE!” Suave says, “LEIBERMAN’S A SITTING DUCK!”

A huge explosion SFX. Through the smoke comes A. Tom Bomb (A-Bomb), Hy Drogen Bomb (H-Bomb), “Silent But Deadly” Newt Tron Bomb, led by their well-endowed sister Daisy Cutter Bomb. Eric Alterman immediately accuses Leiberman of switching to the Republicans. “Which you were an honorary member of anyways,” Media Matters adds. A- Bomb responds. He’s tired of not being supported by the Republicans. He’s tired of the politics of George W, Dick- his aide de camp, and The Mastermind Karl Rove. He’s tired of getting screwed over. “Screw the Republicans!” A-Bomb declares, “as of this moment the Bomb Family are also becoming independents.” “HOLY CRAP!” Suave exclaims, “HE’S SWITCHING SIDES!” H-Bomb then tells Leiberman than the Bomb Brothers have his back.

October 26th, 2006- PCW Extreme Political TV

Joe Leiberman Promo
Leiberman states that as his big match at PCW Extreme Election Night with the Democrat’s Ned Lamont gets closer, it’s clear that the ‘joe-mentum’ is on his side. He says that he feels ‘joe-rrific’ and Lamont, Daily Kos, Eric Alterman, Media Matters For America, and even that hideous Arianna Huffing-puff…Stuffenpuff… Someone whispers in Joe’s ear. “Oh, Huffington. They can all just kiss my ass,” Leiberman says. “It doesn’t matter what they say because it’s clear the people, my ‘joe-coholics,’ are behind me. From behind, Ned Lamont blindsides Leiberman from behind. “You’re just a member of the Republican in Independent clothing.” Then Alan “Mr. Irrelevant” Schlesinger comes out and stomps on Leiberman. “No he’s not.,” he says, “he’s really a member of the Democrat. Lamont claims Leiberman is an Republican, and then stomps on him. Schlesinger says Leiberman’s is an Democrat, and then stomps on him some more. They argue back and forth and stomp on Leiberman.

“Poor Joe,” Suave says, “he’s getting his ‘joe-butt’ double teamed right now. Can he hold off Lamont’s challenge at PCW Extreme Election Night? Or will Leiberman celebrate a ‘joe-victory?’”

November , 2006

MATCH #2- THREE WAY DANCE- JOE LEIBERMAN (Independent), NED LAMONT (D), and ALAN SCHLESINGER (R)
“All right, the Left Wing Bloggers Daily Kos, Media Matters for America, and Eric Alterman were the difference the last time Leiberman and Lamont met up,” explained Suave. “This time, Alan Schlesinger may be the wild card of the group.”

The bell rings and immediately the Bloggers pile into the ring and attack Leiberman. Schlesinger joins in.

“HOLY CRAP! IT’S FIVE AGAINST ONE!” Suave says as the referee is powerless to prevent the outside interference.

Leiberman is whipped into the ropes and Daily Kos and Media Matters set to double team him. Leiberman clotheslines the two bloggers but then gets blindsided by Eric Alterman.

The Bomb Brothers (Independents A. Tom Bomb, Hy Drogen Bomb, and Newt Tron Bomb) runs out. “HERE THEY COME!” Suave says as the crowd stands up and cheers, “THE ODDS HAVE JUST BEEN EVENED UP!”

A-Bomb power slams Eric Alterman. H-Bomb lifts Daily Kos in the air and tosses him over the top rope through a ringside table.

“HOLY CRAP!” Suave says as Daily Kos is buried amongst the remains of the table.

“BCEW!…BCEW!” chants the crowd.

A-Bomb corners Alan Schlesinger. Schlesinger desperately calls out to the Republicans for help. As A-Bomb lifts him up and Newt Tron Bomb sets a table up in the ring, Schlesinger calls out for Dick, or The Mastermind Karl Rove, or even the Rookie Sensation Starz N. Stripes. No help arrives and A-Bomb power A-Bombs Schlesinger through the table. Leiberman covers and Schlesinger is eliminated. The crowd serenades Schlesinger with the ‘na, na. hey-hey-hey goodbye’ song.

H-Bomb decks Media Matters and then climbs out of the ring. He grabs Media Matters’s legs and crotches him on the ringpost. H-Bomb then rolls him out of the ring.

“IT’S DOWN TO LEIBERMAN AND LAMONT NOW!” Suave says. “Now we’ll find out just what Lamont is made of.”

Lamont appears unsure and turns around looking for help. He calls for The American Screamer Howard Dean, “The Natural” Barack Obama, or anyone else from the Progressive Alliance. Like Schlesinger, no help arrives.

“I think its safe to say that the ‘Joe-mentum’ is on Leiberman’s side now,” Suave says.

Suddenly, another left wing blogger, Arianna Huffington, shrieks down the aisle towards the ring to help Lamont and runs into the manager of the Bomb Brothers Daisy Cutter-Bomb. Daisy lays her out with a wicked clothesline. Lieberman stomps his foot three times and sets him up for his closer.

“LEIBERMAN’S GOING FOR THE ‘JOE-STOPPER!” Suave says.

Lamont turns around just in time to catch a superkick right to his chin.

“That’s a pretty good kick for an old guy,” Suave cracks. “I didn’t think he could get his leg that high.”

Lamont drops as if he’s been shot. Leiberman covers and that’s the match.

WINNER: JOE LEIBERMAN (I)

Huffington throws a fit and stomps around at ringside as Joe holds up his hand in victory.

Keith Olbermann: The New King of Extreme

PCW Owner Bubba Jackson held a press conference earlier today to announce that MSNBC commentator Keith Olbermann had been awarded the new PCW belt- the World Arguing Champion.

PCW’s WAC Champion MSNBC Commentator Keith Olbermann

Jackson said it was a tough choice.  “There are a lot of people to choose from to start this title belt.  I could have given it to Rush Limbaugh.  It could have gone to Markos Moutilsas of the Daily Kos.    Or Ann Coulter.  Or Arianna Huffington.  But really, who better to be the first World Arguing Champion than Keith Olbermann.”

Olbermann will be awarded the WAC belt next Monday night at PCW Massacre on Main Street show.

Breaking News: Sarah Palin Will Be Put on Trial Next Week on PCW Extreme Political TV

If you missed what went down Monday night on PCW Extreme Political TV, here’s what you missed…

‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin

Palin: My sincere condolences are offered to the family of Gabrielle Giffords and other victims of today’s tragic shooting in Arizona.   On behalf of Todd and my family, we all pray for the victims and their families, and for peace and justice-

Suave: “WHAT THE HELL!  MARKOS JUST DECKED PALIN WITH A STEEL CHAIR!”

Markos: “MISSION ACCOMPLISHED, SARAH PALIN!”

Markos and Olbermann worked over Palin with kicks and chairshots.   Suddenly, someone jumps the steel barricade and joins in the beatdown.  Then another one.   A crowd gathered on one side of the ring.  Markos pulled Palin up by the hair and flung her through the ropes to the floor and into the crowd.  Someone pulled out a cookie sheet and nailed Palin with it.  She was also nailed with a pizza pan before disappearing into the crowd.

Suave called for security…anyone to come down and help.  One of the crowd came over to Suave and yelled “she might as well pull the trigger she pulls these goons strings and this is what we get” before disappearing back into the scrum.

Another crowd member ran over to Suave and shouted “Hey, Sarah, how’s that dopey-derangey thing workin’ out for ya?”    Another: “Sarah Palin suffers from the same disorder that effects most members of the right’s political and media establishment: an inability to be governed by objective realty.”

Suave: “WHAT THE HELL?  WHERE’S THE #@#$ING SECURITY!”

Suave then stood up on the broadcast desk and got into a heated argument with Markos and Olbermann.

Suave brought up this…

Liberal website Daily Kos put ‘bullseye’ on ‘dead to me’ Giffords

From the Examiner:
“Just days ago, the far left website posted a column — since removed – slamming the conservative Democrat. The author said Giffords was “dead to me” in the post’s title and comments.

Daily Kos has mysteriously deleted that post in the wake of Saturday’s shooting tragedy.

Giffords’s offense in the eyes of the Daily Kos left wing community was her relative moderation: she voted against Nancy Pelosi as speaker.

Daily Kos put target practice bullseye on Giffords”

Suave: “And you, Olbermann.  I might have taken your so-called apology more seriously had he not launched into yet another diatribe against Gov. Palin. Using the Giffords shooting to go after Gov. Palin is typical of everything wrong in our political discourse. It’s no wonder why we’re so ultra-polarized. Both sides go out of their way to insure that roughly half the populace is conditioned to hate the other.”

The crowd roared when finally someone came out of the back.

Suave: “IT’S ABOUT @#$#ING TIME!

Sheriff Clarence Dupnik and several of his deputies arrived on the scene.  They waded through the crowd and pulled a battered Palin out of the scrum.

Suave: “ARREST THEM ALL, SHERIFF!”

Sheriff Dupnik stunned Suave when he turned Palin around and placed handcuffs on her wrists to arrest her.

Suave: “WHAT??  YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.”

Dupnik takes the mic and tells Suave to shut up.

Dupnik: “This is all your fault, Sarah Palin.  You brought this on yourself.  You and the right wing’s extreme rhetoric.  When you look at unbalanced people, how they respond to the vitriol that comes out of certain mouths about tearing down the government — the anger, the hatred, the bigotry that goes on in this country, is getting to be outrageous.”

Suave: “OH COME ON!  AND THE LEFT IS JUST AS BAD-”

Dupnik: “Suave, I told you to shut up!  We see one party trying to block the attempts of another party to make this a better country. … We as a country need to look into our souls and into our hearts and say is what we’re doing really in the best interest of this country, or is there something better we can do.”

Suave: “WHAT?  THAT’S BULL AND YOU KNOW IT.  You say the shooting was caused by the overheated rhetoric of one party and then accuse people who disagree with Obama with inciting some whacko to kill Giffords without any credible evidence or logic to back-”

The camera suddenly went black.

Voice: “Turn it off.  We’re closing this down right now.”

**End of transmission**

———————-

We just received a written statement from PCW announcing that ‘The Alaskan Pitbull’  Sarah Palin faces a trial next Monday night on PCW Extreme Political TV.

No further information was provided.  PCW will air next Monday night at 10 PM.

‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin Brutally Attacked by Left Wing Mob At PCW Show

PCW Extreme Political TV
TCC Arena
Tucson, AZ
Monday January 10th, 2011
Host: Johnny Suave

The crowd was somber and quiet as PCW CEO Barack Obama and his aide de camp Joe Biden…

Joe Biden and Barack Obama (D)

…started the show with a moment of silence for Gabrielle Giffords and the others shot on Saturday in Tucson.  They were joined in the ring by the Leader of the PCW Executive Committee Harry Reid (D), Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R) and Leader of the PCW Competition Committee John Boehner (R) and Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D).

Harry Reid (D), Mitch McConnell (R), John Boehner (R), Nancy Pelosi (D)

Afterwards, Obama praised the “courage” of those who took down the gunman at the scene of the shooting.  “Part of what I think that speaks to is the best of America, even in the face of such mindless violence.  Right now, the main thing we’re doing is to offer our thoughts and prayers.”

Suave concurred with Obama’s remarks and then Keith Olbermann walked to the ring.

Keith Olbermann (D)

Olbermann criticized himself and noted that he used a metaphor against Hillary Clinton in the 2008 campaign that could have interpreted as calling for violence against Clinton.

Then Olbermann turned his sights toward and blasted Glenn Beck.

Olbermann: “If Glenn Beck, who obsesses nearly as strangely as this Mr. Loughner did about gold and debt, and who wistfully joked about killing Michael Moore, and Bill O’Reilly who blithely repeated ‘Tiller the Killer’ until the phrase was burned into the minds of his viewers, if they do not begin their next broadcasts with solemn apologies forever turning to the death fantasies, and the dream of blood lust, for ever having provided just the oxygen for those deep in madness, to whom violence is an acceptable solution.  Then those commentators, and the others, must be repudiated by their viewers and listeners, by all politicians who would appear on their programs, including President Obama, and his planned interview with Fox on Super Bowl Sunday.”

And then finally, ‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin…

Olbermann: “If Sarah Palin, whose website, put and today scrubbed, bulls eye targets on twenty representatives including Gabby Giffords, does not repudiate today her own part, however tangential, in amplifying violence and violent imagery in American politics she must dismissed from politics.  She must be repudiate by the members of her own party, and if they fail to do so, each one of them must be judged to have silently defended this tactic that today proved so awfully foretelling.”

This brought out Palin…

‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin

Palin: My sincere condolences are offered to the family of Gabrielle Giffords and other victims of today’s tragic shooting in Arizona.   On behalf of Todd and my family, we all pray for the victims and their families, and for peace and justice-

Suave: “WHAT THE HELL!  MARKOS JUST DECKED PALIN WITH A STEEL CHAIR!”

Markos: “MISSION ACCOMPLISHED, SARAH PALIN!”

Markos and Olbermann worked over Palin with kicks and chairshots.   Suddenly, someone jumps the steel barricade and joins in the beatdown.  Then another one.   A crowd gathered on one side of the ring.  Markos pulled Palin up by the hair and flung her through the ropes to the floor and into the crowd.  Someone pulled out a cookie sheet and nailed Palin with it.  She was also nailed with a pizza pan before disappearing into the crowd.

Suave called for security…anyone to come down and help.  One of the crowd came over to Suave and yelled “she might as well pull the trigger she pulls these goons strings and this is what we get” before disappearing back into the scrum.

Another crowd member ran over to Suave and shouted “Hey, Sarah, how’s that dopey-derangey thing workin’ out for ya?”    Another: “Sarah Palin suffers from the same disorder that effects most members of the right’s political and media establishment: an inability to be governed by objective realty.”

Suave: “WHAT THE HELL?  WHERE’S THE #@#$ING SECURITY!”

Suave then stood up on the broadcast desk and got into a heated argument with Markos and Olbermann.

Suave brought up this…

Liberal website Daily Kos put ‘bullseye’ on ‘dead to me’ Giffords

From the Examiner:
“Just days ago, the far left website posted a column — since removed – slamming the conservative Democrat. The author said Giffords was “dead to me” in the post’s title and comments.

Daily Kos has mysteriously deleted that post in the wake of Saturday’s shooting tragedy.

Giffords’s offense in the eyes of the Daily Kos left wing community was her relative moderation: she voted against Nancy Pelosi as speaker.

Daily Kos put target practice bullseye on Giffords”

Suave: “And you, Olbermann.  I might have taken your so-called apology more seriously had he not launched into yet another diatribe against Gov. Palin. Using the Giffords shooting to go after Gov. Palin is typical of everything wrong in our political discourse. It’s no wonder why we’re so ultra-polarized. Both sides go out of their way to insure that roughly half the populace is conditioned to hate the other.”

The crowd roared when finally someone came out of the back.

Suave: “IT’S ABOUT @#$#ING TIME!

Sheriff Clarence Dupnik and several of his deputies arrived on the scene.  They waded through the crowd and pulled a battered Palin out of the scrum.

Suave: “ARREST THEM ALL, SHERIFF!”

Sheriff Dupnik stunned Suave when he turned Palin around and placed handcuffs on her wrists to arrest her.

Suave: “WHAT??  YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.”

Dupnik takes the mic and tells Suave to shut up.

Dupnik: “This is all your fault, Sarah Palin.  You brought this on yourself.  You and the right wing’s extreme rhetoric.  When you look at unbalanced people, how they respond to the vitriol that comes out of certain mouths about tearing down the government — the anger, the hatred, the bigotry that goes on in this country, is getting to be outrageous.”

Suave: “OH COME ON!  AND THE LEFT IS JUST AS BAD-”

Dupnik: “Suave, I told you to shut up!  We see one party trying to block the attempts of another party to make this a better country. … We as a country need to look into our souls and into our hearts and say is what we’re doing really in the best interest of this country, or is there something better we can do.”

Suave: “WHAT?  THAT’S BULL AND YOU KNOW IT.  You say the shooting was caused by the overheated rhetoric of one party and then accuse people who disagree with Obama with inciting some whacko to kill Giffords without any credible evidence or logic to back-”

The camera suddenly went black.

Voice: “Turn it off.  We’re closing this down right now.”

**End of transmission**

PCW Fourth of July House Show Results

PCW House Show
PCW Hall
Archbold, OH
Sunday July 4th

A capacity crowd of 900 jammed into PCW Hall for a night of political wrestling action.

1. Bird ‘The Mark’ Ridfych (I) def. Josh Jackson (R) and Jordan Metzger (D)
The Rookie Phenom Ridfych defeated Jackson with a series of fastballs and caught Jackson looking on the curve for the win.

Republican Leader Michael Steele is under the gun over comments he made concerning PCW CEO Barack Obama and the upcoming run-up to PCW’s Extreme Election Night 2010.

Steele said: “”This was a war of Obama’s choosing.  This is not something the Republicans actively prosecuted or wanted to engage in.”

Republicans John McCain of Arizona and Lindsey Graham of South Carolina lambasted Steele for the comments, which McCain called “wildly inaccurate” and Graham characterized as “uninformed, unnecessary, unwise, untimely,” while follow Republican Jim DeMint of South Carolina said Steele should apologize.

More on this later on.

2. Andy Riley (D) def. SNAFU (I)
Riley defeated the veteran SNAFU with a little help from Rahm Emanuel who helped the rookie by dropping a few F-Bombs on SNAFU.

PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein reports that Nancy Pelosi defied PCW CEO Barack Obama concerning the addition of more wrestlers to the Democratic stable.  Obama preferred not to add more at this time.  Pelosi personally lobbied to add a couple more in to help with the effort heading towards November’s Extreme Election Night.

Obama, still stuck inside his limousine at a BP gas station with oil still leaking out of his car for the 78th day, was not available for comment.  However, the situation continues to deteriorate with pictures of oil soaked BP gas station clerks being scrubbed and cleaned being showed to the world.

3. ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido and Charlie Blackwell (I) def. The Raving Rednecks Locke and Loade (R)
[...Escondido hits a Rubik's Cube on Locke then LAUNCHES him in a modified snake eyes to the bottom turnbuckle! Lawn Dart City!  Blackwell up top- missile dropkick! MOONSAULT BY ESCONDIDO!  1...2...3!...]

4. Nick Ray (R) vs. Jordan Metzger (D)- no decision
The battle of two PCW rookies ends up being a free-for-all with the Angry Left Wing Bloggers (Arianna Huffington, Daily Kos, Keith Olbermann, and ‘Hardball’ Chris Matthews) and the Right Wing Brigadiers (Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter, Sean Hannity, and Laura Ingraham) joining the fight…that leads to…

5. Angry Left Wing Bloggers (D) vs. Right Wing Brigadiers (R)- no decision
This one falls apart quickly.

PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein reports more on the Michael Steele situation.  Steele tried to backtrack from his earlier comments.

Steele: “The stakes are too high for us to accept anything but success in November.”

Bernstein reports that Steele may be toast.  Prominent Republican voices are calling for Steele’s resignation, including Liz Cheney, the daughter of former Vice President Dick Cheney; Weekly Standard editor William Kristol and former South Carolina GOP chairman Katon Dawson, who finished second to Steele in the RNC chairman’s race last year.

6. PCW Television Champion Ken Worth-The American Trucker (I) def. Triple R (D)
[...Worth charges into a spin kick by Triple R.  Small package by Triple R gets 2. Enziguiri by Triple R gets 2 more.  Cobra Stretch locked in by Triple R!  Worth breaks it and hits a moonsault kick and a clothesline.   Some more counters from both men, Worth hits 2 stiff kicks...Jake Brake! 1...2...2.89!  Triple R gets a sunset flip for 2 but gets nails with a second Jake Brake. 1...2...3!]

7. PCW Tag Team Champions The Kings of Old School (Bobby Michaels and Marty Lane) (D) def. Jack and Joe Schmidt (I)
Michaels and Lane defeat the former two-time tag team champions in a spirited contest that lasted a good twenty minutes and sent the crowd home with a rousing end to the night.

—————————-

Other WP Political Blogger Posts:

• John Boehnehead July 6, 2010 nonnie9999
• Head Muscle Head Lines July 5, 2010 Chuck
• Happy Birthday America,your democracy just got punked… July 5, 2010 Alfie
• A Feminist Theory of the Second Amendment July 5, 2010 Erin
• Happy Birthday USA! July 5, 2010 nonnie9999
• Almost Born on the Fourth of July July 4, 2010 hippieprof
• Where It All Began July 4, 2010 Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere
• Staying Low for some mo’… July 4, 2010 Alfie
• Glenn Beck University, Where Every Degree Is A BS Degree! July 4, 2010 nonnie9999
• Person of the Week: Michael Steele July 3, 2010 PanAm

Other Political Blog Posts:

• TRENDING: McCain releases two TV ads, is accused of ‘character assassination’ July 5, 2010 cnnjs
• Biden leaves Iraq after Independence Day visit July 5, 2010 cnncr
• CNN Radio: Should he stay, or should he go? July 5, 2010 cnncr
• Poll: Tea Party says federal debt extremely serious threat July 5, 2010 cnncr
• Latinos not flexing political muscle – yet July 5, 2010 fhardingj
• Ketner ends South Carolina Senate drive July 5, 2010 cnncr
• Campaign ads gone wild July 5, 2010 fhardingj

• Arizona’s Latest Immigration Mess July 5, 2010 Terry Greene Sterling
• Music’s Misunderstood Genius July 5, 2010 Peter Lauria
• Hollywood Mourns Agent Ed Limato July 5, 2010 Nicole LaPorte
• This Week’s Culture Feast July 5, 2010 Jaimie Etkin & Virginia Smith
• Photos of the French Riviera July 5, 2010 The Daily Beast
• A Burgundy Wine Feast July 5, 2010 Sophie Menin
• Will Knox’s Parents Go to Jail? July 5, 2010 Barbie Latza Nadeau
• Does Israel Make Us Safer? July 5, 2010 Thaddeus Russell
• July 4: 7 Best Moments From Sunday Talk July 4, 2010 The Daily Beast Video
• What Hogwarts Can Teach Muslims July 4, 2010 Asra Q. Nomani
• Why I Love Afghanistan July 3, 2010 Ching Eikenberry
• July 4th’s Forgotten Partisan History July 3, 2010 Sean Wilentz

• Weekend Wrap: Obama channels Bush July 5, 2010
• Liz Cheney calls for Steele to resign July 3, 2010
• Energy bill needs WH push, groups say July 2, 2010
• Steele steps in it again with Afghanistan comments July 2, 2010

• A Senate Standoff Continues July 5, 2010 Jay Newton-Small
• Independence Day July 4, 2010 Joe Klein
• The Call: Three-Month-Old Health Care Law Gets a Checkup July 3, 2010 Adam Sorensen
• Afternoon Miscellany July 2, 2010 Alex Altman
• Bidding Goodbye to Byrd July 2, 2010 Jay Newton-Small
• The Politics of LeBron July 2, 2010 Michael Crowley
• Building Immunity to Iocane Powder July 2, 2010 Jay Newton-Small
• Testimony: Like Obama, Rod Blagojevich Made Boneheaded Deal With Tony Rezko July 2, 2010 Michael Scherer
• Polls Matter On Immigration: Tracking The Obama Emphasis Shift July 2, 2010 Michael Scherer

• WHOA: 60% Favor Repeal of ObamaCare July 5, 2010
• The media finally uses the dreaded “D” word July 5, 2010
• Hey, You Know Who Seems To Like Sharron Angle? George Will July 5, 2010
• Markets Repeating Head and Shoulders Pattern of Great Depression July 5, 2010
• RealClearPolitics – Obama Plays Election-Year Politics on Immigration
• BP Quietly Prepared for Legal Fight in First Days of Gulf Oil Spill
• FiveThirtyEight: Politics Done Right: Arizona’s Long Reach
• Instapundit » Blog Archive » DAN MITCHELL: “The fault line in …

Loose Cannons Unleashed 6 Report- Part One

PCW Loose Cannons Unleashed 6 PPV Report
Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon
Wauseon, OH
Monday June 21st
Host: Paige McGillicutty

Paige McGillicutty

Paige McGillicutty – Hey, Paige McGillicutty here to give you the rundown on what went down tonight at PCW’s Loose Cannons Unleashed 6.  To say it was a wild night would be a great understatement.  Three title matchs- two title changes tonight.  But we’ll get to that later.  The night started off with a fan favorite entering the ring…

MATCH #1
Bird ‘The Mark’ Ridfych (I)
vs.

‘Chicago Boss’ Mark Ditka (D)

Paige McGillicutty – Bird ‘The Mark’ Ridfych, the perennial boy of summer versus the serious Chicago Boss Mark Ditka.

[Johnny Suave - ...big fight in the corner.  Ridfych with a right hand.

The crowd shouts out 'FastBALL!'

Johnny Suave - And another...

The crowd shouts out 'FastBALL' again.

Johnny Suave - Another

The crowd shouts out 'FastBALL!'

Bird winds up but Ditka tosses him to the floor.  Ditka with a hilo from the ring.  He whips Ridfych into the guardrail.

Johnny Suave - Ditka lighting up Ridfych with chops and punches.  Now he  whips Ridfych into the rail again.

The Chicago Boss drags Ridfych back inside and flies in with a crossbody for two.  Ditka starts pummeling Ridfych again.

Johnny Suave - DITKA'S BEATING DOWN RIDFYCH AND STOMPING A BIG OL' MUDHOLE IN HIM.  Ditka now going for the press powerbomb...Ridfych fights out of it!  Dropkick by the Bird.

Ditka goes to the apron and snaps Ridfych's throat off the top rope, but runs into the leaping heel kick!

Johnny Suave - WAIT A MINUTE!  THAT'S DANIEL-SAN!  THAT'S DANIEL-SAN IN THE CROWD AND HE JUST HEEL KICKED THE FATHER INTO ANOTHER DIMENSION!

Security chases after Daniel-San.  Ridfych makes the cover.  One...two...THREE!

Johnny Suave - HE'S DONE IT!  BIRD 'THE MARK' RIDFYCH GETS THE BIG WIN AT TONIGHT'S LOOSE CANNONS UNLEASHED 6!]

WINNER: Bird ‘The Mark’ Ridfych @ 11:11

Paige McGillicutty – So, it was Bird ‘The Mark’ Ridfych making it through after a tough battle with ‘Chicago Boss’ Mark Ditka.  Next, Triple R (D) cut a promo about his upcoming match.

[The 'Angry Highway Warrior' Triple R looks...angry.  He calls PCW Television Champion Ken Worth- The American Trucker (I) a paper champion who belongs to a paper group (American Heartland Coalition).  Triple R states he belongs to a real group (the Democrats) and promises to send Worth back into obscurity along with the AHC.

McGillicutty - Next, a tag team match up with another fan favorite, The Goatbusters.  The Goatbusters were attacked before their match against the Schmidts Saturday night at CWC's Golden Dreams show.  How would they respond tonight against one of the tag teams who assaulted them?

MATCH #2
The Goatbusters: Ray Scantz and Peter Jenkman (I)
vs.
Diversity in Action: Matt Ficus and Rick Walker (D)

*Spooky music begins followed by a funky beat*

(sung to 'Ghostbusters')
If there’s something grazing
In your neighborhood
Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)
If you see a herd
And it don’t look good
Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)

I ain’t afraid of no Goat
I ain’t afraid of no Goat

If you’re seeing horns
Running through your yard
Who can you call
(Goatbusters)
If you have a goat
Sleeping in your bed
Oh, who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)

I ain’t afraid of no Goat
I ain’t afraid of no Goat

Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)
If you’re all alone
Pick up the phone
And call
(Goatbusters)

I ain’t afraid of no Goat
I hear it likes the girls
I ain’t afraid of no Goat
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)
If you’ve had a dose
Of a freaky Goat
Maybe you’d better call
(Goatbusters)

Let me tell you something
Bustin’ makes me feel good

I ain’t afraid of no Goat
I ain’t afraid of no Goat

[The Goatbusters hit the ring and waste no time attacking Diversity in Action]

McGillicutty – Oh yeah!  The Goatbusters were out for blood in this matchup.

[Ficus tries the tornado DDT but Scantz counters to a sick backbreaker and then drops a senton on Ficus's back.

Johnny Suave - SCANTZ WITH THE GREAT COUNTERMOVE AND HE GOES FOR THE COVER!

One...two...Ficus gets a shoulder up.  Ficus gouges Scantz's eyes and makes the tag.   Big Rick Walker comes out and trade punches with Scantz.  Walker ends that with a superkick.  He chokes Scantz on the bottom rope.  He tries to fight back but Walker's stiff forearm knocks him down. More choking and Walker hits the cannonball.  Scantz tries to get up, but Walker won't let it go. Scantz finally gets a flurry of strikes, and pops right back up off a shoulder block and hits a clothesline. And another one. Scantz blocks the corner yakuza kick, but runs right into the Michinoku Driver, which gets 2.

Johnny Suave - SCANTZ NEEDS TO GET TO THE CORNER.

Scantz counters the tornado DDT but gets crotched before he can get to his corner.  Walker back body drops him to the floor.  He glides through the second and third ropes and plants Scantz with a tornado DDT on the floor.

Johnny Suave - HOLY CRAP!  THAT'LL DO IT.  WALKER PULLS HIM BACK IN.

Pumphandle power slam by Walker.  He makes the cover.  One...two...three.]

WINNER: Diversity in Action @ 15:03

Paige McGillicutty – So, Diversity in Action gets a pay per view win here at Loose Cannons Unleashed 6.  Next up, PCW Television Champion Ken Worth- The American Trucker offers his rebuttal to Triple R.

[Ken Worth stands with the rest of the American Heartland Coalition.

Ken Worth - Triple R.  A name synonymous with PCW.  A name synonymous with...choking in big matches.  A name synonymous with...melting down in crucial moments.  A name synonymous for talking tough but when the going gets tough he can't handle adversity.  Triple R,  you're a paper contender and tonight you will fail just like you've failed every other time you've tried to win a title.  Triple R- a name synonymous for failure.]

Paige McGillicutty – Suffice to say, the Television Champion’s remarks didn’t set real well with Triple R.

MATCH #3 – PCW TELEVISION TITLE MATCH

‘The Angry Highway Warrior’ Triple R (D)
vs.

Ken Worth- The American Trucker (I-American Heartland Coalition) (c) w/

Tequila Sheila

[During the ring announcements, Triple R runs in and clobbers Worth.  Triple R picks up Worth and starts talking trash.  He slaps Worth.  The Champion weathers the storm and they trade strikes.  Triple R comes out ahead and hits a corner clothesline.

Johnny Sauve - A WILD START TO THIS MATCH!  TRIPLE R IS GOING TO THROW EVERYTHING BUT THE KITCHEN SINK AT KEN WORTH!  YAKUZA KICK!  TRIPLE R COVERS!

Worth kicks out at two.  Triple R stays on it.

Johnny Suave - TRIPLE R NOT LETTING UP.  HALF AND HALF SUPLEX!   AND ANOTHER COVER.

Worth kicks out at two again.

Johnny Suave - NO!  BUT TRIPLE R MAKING IT CLEAR HE'S DEAD SERIOUS ABOUT WINNING THE TV TITLE.]

Paige McGillicutty – About midway through the match, an uninvited guest appeared.

[Clothesline by Triple R sends Worth flying 360 degrees in the air!  Worth  looks to go for the Jake Brake but Triple R avoids it.  He trips up Worth and then grabs the legs and lifts them in the air.

Johnny Suave - HE'S GO IT!  SHARPSHOOTER BY TRIPLE R!   WILL WORTH TAP OUT?

No.  Daniel-San slides through the ropes and confronts Triple R- who breaks the hold.

Daniel-San (I)

Johnny Suave - IT'S DANIEL-SAN!  AND NOW, TRIPLE R IS DISTRACTED FROM HIS MATCH!

Triple R goes for a Brainbuster on Daniel-San-countered, package piledriver- countered, Triple R runs into a Daniel-San kick.  Triple R again wants a Brainbuster but Daniel-San reverses into the Package Piledriver!

Johnny Suave - HOLY CRAP!  DANIEL-SAN JUST SPIKED TRIPLE R WITH A PACKAGE PILEDRIVER!  WORTH COVERS.

Triple R somehow kicks out at two.]

Paige McGillicutty – Security would escort Daniel-San off the premises for the evening and the match continued.  But that wasn’t the only unscheduled visit in the match.  Later on…

[Former PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka (D) grabs Ken Worth and spins him around, GREEN MIST!

Johnny Suave - TANAKA JUST SPEWED GREEN MIST INTO KEN WORTH'S EYES!  HE'S BEEN BLINDED.

Triple R slams Worth's head into the corner turnbuckle.  Tanaka in the ring now. Double chokelift slam!

Johnny Suave - HOLY CRAP!  TANAKA JUST KILLED KEN WORTH AND WE MAY HAVE A NEW TELEVISION CHAMPION!

Triple R locks in the Cobra Clutch.  SNAFU and Dave the Mechanic of the American Heartland Coalition hit the ring and attack Triple R.  Worth escapes and slides out of the ring.  SNAFU drops a few elbows on Triple R's head. Tanaka yanks Dave the Mechanic up and whips him to the ropes and hits a northern lariat. A blinded Ken Worth tries to clear his eyes.  Tanaka brainbusters SNAFU and throws him out of the ring. Tequila Sheila puts water on his eyes to get rid of the mist. Tanaka hits a backdrop suplex on Dave the Mechanic and tosses him out of the ring.  Worth crawls back into the ring and avoids a fireman's carry by Triple R.  Outside the ring, Tanaka smashes SNAFU into the guardrail.  He then slams Dave the Mechanic into the rail.  Tequila Sheila throws the bottle at him.  Tanaka shrugs it off and then drops SNAFU throat-first on the rail.

Johnny Suave - HOLY CRAP!  TANAKA NEARLY DECAPITATED SNAFU OVER THAT GUARDRAIL!

Worth goes for the axehandle but Triple R avoids it.  Triple slams Worth into the turnbuckle.  Triple R hits a neckbreaker on the top rope and a slingshot axehandle, headlock and lefts.  Triple R chokes Worth with a belt and then goes for the cover.  One...two...

Johnny Suave - HERE COMES THE CORPORATION OF DOMINATION!  BIG OIL!  BIG ELECTRIC!  AND KIRK WALSTREIT!

Big Electric (R) pulls the referee out of the ring.  Enraged, Triple R stomps up and down and then starts shouting at the C.O.D.  He becomes even more upset when 'Sports Entertainment Genius' Mr. McMann appears.

Johnny Suave - MR. McMANN IS HERE AND TRIPLE R IS DARING HIM TO GET INTO THE RING.

Tanaka and Big Oil (R) square off.  Walstreit (R) stands next to McMann and feigns jumping into the ring with Triple R.

Johnny Suave - WATCH OUT!

Ken Worth sneaks up from behind and schoolboys Triple R.  The referee counts...one...two...three!

Johnny Suave - HE DID IT!  KEN WORTH DID IT!  HE'S RETAINED THE PCW TELEVISION TITLE!

The C.O.D. point at Triple R and laugh.]

WINNER AND STILL PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION: Ken Worth- The American Trucker @ 23: 19

Paige McGillicutty – Unfortunately, Triple R didn’t see it as a laughing matter.

[Triple R slams a steel-folding chair over the head of Ken Worth.  Worth drops like a shot and Triple R keeps swinging the chair at him.

Johnny Suave - HE'S LOST IT!  TRIPLE R HAS LOST IT!

'No Frill's Chris Escondido and Charlie Blackwell (I-American Heartland Coalition) race into the ring and Triple R bails.]

Charlie Blackwell (I)

‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido

Paige McGillicutty – So once again, Triple R’s penchant for losing focus at the precise moment he needs it the most comes back to haunt him.  Next…a little fun…

[Rahm Emanuel is in the ring to discuss the ongoing BP issue.

Replay: BP Hearings
Tony Hayward – I can assure you that the clerks are doing the best they can to help CEO Obama’s situation.  BP has put, without cost to CEO Obama, 3,524 cans of oil in his car in the last 59 days but unfortunately, it leaked right back out into the concrete.

Joe Barton (R) – Mr. Hayward, I’m ashamed of what the Democrats are trying to do here today.  On behalf of myself and the generous amounts of money that BP and other oil companies contribute to me, I’d like to apologize.

John Boehner (R) – Um, Joe.  Can we go outside and talk for a second?

Joe Barton (R) – Sure.

Boehner and Barton go outside.  The door closes.

Boehner’s voice (R) - ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR @#$@#$@# MIND?  WHAT THE @#$# DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?

Boehner and Barton come back inside.  Barton sits.

Joe Barton (R) – Um…I’d like to retract that last statement.

Rahm Emanuel - What Joe Barton said was not a political gaffe. Those were prepared remarks. That is a philosophy. That is an approach to what they see. They see the aggrieved party here is BP.  And remember, this is not just one person.

'The Alaskan Pitbull' Sarah Palin walks down.

Sarah Palin - Rahm, you lie.  There are some of us who believe that part of the problem is CEO Obama's inability to push BP to find a solution to the oil leak instead of sitting passively by and deferring to BP.

Rahm Emanuel - That's sounds nice, Sarah but-

The Angry Left Wing Bloggers & Friends: Keith Olbermann, Arianna Huffington, Hardball Chris Matthews, and Daily Kos hit the ring and attack Palin.

Johnny Suave - AW, COME ON!  FOUR AGAINST ONE!

Soon enough, the Right Wing Crusaders: Bill O'Reilly, The Queen of Political Extreme Ann Coulter, Sean Hannity, and Rush Limbaugh run in and it's a full fledged brawl.]

Paige McGillicutty – Once they got the mess cleaned up in the ring, it was time for match number four of the night.  Another Republican versus Democrat match up.

MATCH #4

Magnum P.O.’d w/

Robyn Masters (R)
vs.
Paddy O’Kennedy (D)

[...kicks from the ground by O'Kennedy who tries to get away from Magnum, who keeps choking him.  Knee to the side of the face by Magnum.  Then he drives his foot into O'Kennedy's skull.  Chops by O'Kennedy who tries to get back on track.  O'Kennedy lifts Magnum into the air and falls backwards.

Johnny Suave - STUN GUN!

Magnum's throat hits the top rope and he falls back.

Johnny Suave - O'KENNEDY WITH THE ROLL UP.  NO!

Only 2 for O'Kennedy.  Scoop slam followed by a rake to the face by Paddy.  Headscissors by O'Kennedy and then he sits on Magnum's neck for more pressure.  Robyn Masters climbs up on the ring apron and starts shouting at O'Kennedy who keeps pummeling Magnum and whips him into the corner.  O'Kennedy runs into Magnum's boot.

Johnny Sauve - O'Kennedy going up top, Magnum slides out of the way...running headbutt to the gut by Magnum.

Magnum then puts O'Kennedy in a cobra clutch hold.  He lifts him up and fall backwards, driving O'Kennedy to the mat on his head.

Johnny Suave - COBRA SUPLEX! SICK!

Magnum covers.  O'Kennedy kicks out at two.  Flying lariat by O'Kennedy followed by a double leg takedown.  O'Kennedy hits mounted punches and then a chokehold.  Choke biel by O'Kennedy.  Magnum hits a knee to the gut, headbutts by O'Kennedy!  Reverse STO from the knees by Magnum who transitions into a Cobra Clutch!

Johnny Suave - HE'S GOT HIM!  MAGNUM HAS O'KENNEDY TRAPPED IN THE MIDDLE...HE TAPS OUT!]

WINNER: Magnum P.O.’d @ 16:52

Paige McGillicutty – Magnum P.O.’d with the Cobra Clutch takes the win over Paddy O’Kennedy.

————

Part two will be posted tomorrow night.

———————-

Other WP Political Blogger Posts:

• The Oil Is Slick, But These Guys Aren’t June 22, 2010 nonnie9999
• Hey, Jude June 21, 2010 melmaguire
• Lets go to the phones….. June 21, 2010 hippieprof
• Rejection Day 2010. Will It Deny President Obama His Party’s Nomination in 2012? June 22, 2010 Kempite
• The Myth of Drill, Baby, Drill and the Slush Fund June 22, 2010 Rutherford

Other Political Posts:

• Hayworth’s ‘free money grant’ infomercial surfaces June 22, 2010 cnncr
• Coburn declines to criticize Obama admin., Limbaugh June 22, 2010 cnncr
• Haley earned $42,500 for consulting work while in legislature June 22, 2010 cnncr
• South Carolina GOP hopeful Haley supports off-shore drilling June 21, 2010 cnncr
• Obama prods fathers, gives nod to gay dads June 21, 2010 cnncr
• CNN Poll: US views of Britain take hit in wake of spill June 21, 2010 cnncr
• Deepwater Horizon rig owner slams Obama’s 6-month ban on deepwater drilling in Gulf of Mexico, EU June 22, 2010
• Tea party split in Utah Republican Senate primary June 22, 2010
• Brown’s tale of frugality omits $1.8 million home June 22, 2010
• On Hillary and 2012 June 21, 2010
• GOP has enthusiasm, money edge June 21, 2010
• Obama unveils fatherhood initiatives June 21, 2010
• RNC: Golfing, yachting one and the same June 21, 2010
• Barack Obama Offers Cut-’n-Paste Rhetoric For The Base June 21, 2010 Michael Scherer
• Golf June 21, 2010 Joe Klein
• Recall the Recall? June 21, 2010 Jay Newton-Small
• 1,000 Words: The Slick From Space June 21, 2010 Michael Scherer
• A New Tea Party Star in Colorado? June 21, 2010 Michael Crowley
• The Bookies Like Lou Dobbs For U.S. Senate June 21, 2010 Michael Scherer
• Offshore Drilling Ban: Judge Mulls Whether To Overturn Six-Month Moratorium - The Huffington Post | Full News Feed
• WWE RAW Facing A Political Backlash Tonight?
• Ilana Ross: Before Vampires, There Was Politics
• Politics Summary: Tuesday, June 22nd | Left Foot Forward
• Sen. Fritz Hollings: Money: It’s the Problem With Politics
• TALKING POLITICS WITH TIM GRIFFIN | Arkansas News
• POLITICAL HOT TOPICS: Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Dawn McGill on Fox News

(Interview between Fox’s Glenn Beck, the Daily Kos’s Markos Moutilsas, and Teresa Quanranta

“Ladies and Gentlemen, I’m a very very humble man. A simple clown really, but I want what’s best for my country because… because I love it so much, and every day they’re trying, bit by bit to take it away. Everyday, in ways both great and small. Sometimes it’s the federal government trying to make sure people don’t go bankrupt when they contract a life threatening illnes, and sometimes it’s a story like this. I promised you that I would be ever vigilant about all the threats to the American way of life, and I’m working to uphold that promise with a calm, reasoned discussion of…” FOX host Glenn Beck sniffled a bit. “… of the recent steroids scandal that’s all over the media. Joining me today is Teresa Quaranta, representing New Frontier Wrestling. Teresa, I have to say that I’m concerned about this. I… I don’t think our fathers… our brave founding fathers… would have ever imagined anything like what we saw from a man claiming to stand for Justice in this country.”

“Are you OK, man?”

“Teresa, you sounds like you’ve got bull testicles in the back of your neck! Shut up!”

“.”

“Also here is Markos Moulitsas-Zuniga, foreign liberal blogging communist, basically the scum of the earth and the sworn enemy of God, freedom, and western civilization as a whole. Say hello, Mr. Moulitsas-Zuniga.”

“Always happy to be here, Glenn.”

“Teresa: justify this.”

“Uhm… they were chewable Flinstones Vitamins? I don’t think there’s anything crazy in ‘em, except for the purple ones, one time I was at a party and ate nothing but the purple ones and when I woke up I was in St. Paul Minnesota hanging upside down from a flagpole wearing nothing but a -”

“YOU’RE A BARBARIAN,” Markos couldn’t take anymore, apparently.

“Because I… psychologically slash physically damage people for money?”

“Well, there is that, but mostly it’s because you help sell Big Dairy’s slime to the uninformed masses. Aren’t you ashamed to induce people to slurp down caffineated crap down their gullets? Cows were tortured for that milk. Are you so weak, that you just can’t live without the fruits of the suffering of others? Meat, cheese, eggs, milk, dairy, fish, poultry, and let’s not get started on the use of animal byproducts! Bone jewelry? Leather bags. I hate the way you live! Look at me, Teresa. Take a look. I’m living proof that you can be strong, healthy, and a winner, through an animal-free diet. I’m the only decent human being in this studio, because I’m the only true vegan here tonight!”

Beck and Quaranta both sat there in silence for a moment, and finally Beck scratched his head.

“Look, this is another example of government interference destroying the free market. If we knocked down those regulations and gave Captain Justice some TAX CUTZ for those roids, he would have bought more of them. He would have gotten bigger and stronger. He would have sold more tickets to NFW shows all across the country and he would have stopped more crime! There’s nothing I love than bodyslamming poor people who try and forcibly take things from people who have money. Captain Justice is like a superpowered guardian of the economic status quo, so why do you, a noted Canadian -”

“Uh, Glenn I don’t think my home country is -”

“NOTED CANADIAN, why do you hate the free market? It says FREE right there in the title.”

“I just think that if he was using steroids, it would reduce his longevity and make him a less happy person. That would probably make justice less just for everyone.”

“Well, I think justice should be strong, should be angry, and should beat the hell out of foreigners, minorities, homosexuals, and women, and you’re all four in one overgrown package, in fact, so’s Zuniga.”

“.”

“The idea that he should have to call a press conference and apologize to the public, when his only crime is working to be the very best, fills me with a deep sense of sorrow. Cap, if you’re watching this, don’t bow down to the media elite! You represent America, and America NEVER apologizes! Now get out there, stomp the stuffing out of Varga and this lesbian -”

“!!”

“- and grab your spot atop the tag team mountain, looking down from your mighty perch downwards at both of the teams you beat along the way!”

“Captain Justice is a witless tool of the capitalist system, and Teresa Quaranta isn’t much better. You’re all the worst. I’m gonna blog about you two SO HARD when we’re off air.”

“Every day that passes that doesn’t see CAPTAIN JUSTICE as winner of the Bunkhouse Stampede, is like a little flame licking at the feet of liberty. And everytime Teresa Quaranta gives an exhaustive explanation for why the person she’s fighting is mentally retarded, it’s like pouring gasoline on that flame.”

Beck took a keg of gas. “IS THAT WHAT YOU PEOPLE WANT? LIBERTY TO DIE IN A HOT GAS FIRE? Because China WILL collect the insurance money!”

“Glenn, please don’t-”
“GET OFF MY PHOOOOONE -” “Burn, facist, burn!”

There’s a huge commotion off set.

*TWHACK*

“AAAAAARGHHHH!”

*THWACK*

“AAAAAARGHHHH!”

“WATCH OUT! IT’S A ROIDED UP WRESTLER GOING BERSERK!”

Markos: “Oh my God. Captain Justice is here.”

A security guard falls backwards through the door and lands on teh floor. Markos runs back and forth on the set like a headless chicken. But…it’s not Captain Justice who comes through the door. It’s the ‘Six Foot Demolition Machine in a Short Skirt’ Dawn McGill. Another security guard tries to get in her way. She swings her leg back and brings it up with great force, her 4″ stilettos connecting squarely on the guard’s scrotum. In an instant, his face turns pale white. The guard tips over and lies on the floor gasping for breath.

Guard: “Mommy.”

Markos: “You’re not Captain Justice! You’re…you’re…”

Beck: “I know who this is. She’s from that…that…political wrestling federation.”

Markos: “PCW? Political Championship Wrestling?”

Beck: “Yeah. They make fun of people like you and me, Markos. They make fun of ideological warriors standing up for what they believe……and making tons of money along the way.”

Markos: “Why that’s…Unamerican!”

Beck: “Indeed. (to McGill) Why don’t you go back to your roided up geeky friends at PCW and *choke* hey…urk…uh…”

McGill smiles and walks Beck over to the news set. Markos runs in behind her and jumps on her back. He starts pounding on the back of her neck.

Markos: “Let him go! Let him go!”

Dawn makes a slight movement back and then jerks forward. Markos loses his grip and starts to slide down. Dawn bends her left leg at the knee and catches Markos in the groin with her 4″ stiletto. He immediately covers himself and his jaw is gaping wide open as the pain shot through his body.

McGill lifts Beck up and power bombs him through the news desk. The set literally explodes upon impact with Beck in the middle of the wreckage.

McGill turns to Markos who’s now lying on the floor writhing in excruciating discomfort. Then she looks right into the camera.

Dawn: “Oh…and for the record…these…(she points to her muscles)…are real. And for that matter, so are these…(she points to her breasts). Just thought I’d point that out. Fox News will be back in a few…”