Who is More Extreme? Coulter or Olbermann?: PCW Lock and Load- Part 3

DEMOCRATS LOCKER ROOM
Former 3-time PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka (D) gathers his stuff from a locker and stuffs it in a duffel bag.

Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) walks in.  She wants to know what he’s doing.  Tanaka, through his interpreter, tells her he’s just packing his stuff up.  Pelosi sharply tells him she expects Tanaka to be available to help O’Beck Bahama win the PCW title ‘since he couldn’t get the job done against Daniel-San.’  Pelosi turns to leave.  Tanaka glares at her as she goes.

BACKSTAGE
Radio Talk Host Dennis Miller (R-CA) endorses Herman Cain (R-GA)to be the next PCW CEO.  Miller holds up a prospective bumper sticker for Cain, “Cain Versus Not Able.” 

Suave says Miller has supported Cain for several months, and even directed his listeners to Cain’s campaign website.

MATCH #6
PCW Tag Team Title Match
PCW Tag Team Champions The Schmidt Brothers: Jack and Joe (R) w/Ron Paul (R-TX) and Vince Vaughn vs The California Teacher’s Union: ‘Foul Pole’ Andy Golatta and Malibu Dusty (D) w/’The Self Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor (D) and the Longshoremen (D)

Suave says this should be an all-out war.  The Schmidts, 3 time PCW Tag Team champions, took back the title from the CTU at PCW Loose Cannons Unleashed.  Now, the Schmidts find themselves up against not only the CTU but the unions fighting back to keep their political power. 

Suave adds the big question in this match is the big rumor that Charlie Blackwell, ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido, and Blackwell’s Les Miserables will intervene in this match on the Schmidt’s behalf.  If so, not only will there be plenty of action in the ring, they’ll be a lot of action outside the ring as well.

…Jack Schmidt with some boots to Malibu Dusty.   Andy Golatta in and delivers some chops to Jack.  Joe Schmidt with the blind tag and he and Jack hit Malibu Dusty with a nice double team cutter.  Cover…1…2…Big Labor makes the save.  Vince Vaughn yells something at Big Labor.  The CTU began double teaming Jack and Malibu Dusty starts to work on the neck of Jack…

…Golatta gets a right hand shot in on Jack.  Jack down; Golatta covers…1…2…Vince Vaughn makes the save?  Golatta grabs Vaughn and Malibu Dusty comes in for a double suplex.  But the crowd roars and it’s the Jersey Boyz: Vinnie and Frankie (R) w/Mona Lisa and Chris Christie (R-NJ).  Vinnie saves Vaughn and Jack tags in Joe.  Joe sets up Golatta for a neckbreaker and Jack chops him before he drops him.  Joe covers…that gets two…

…Outside the ring, the Jersey Boyz brawl with The Longshoremen and Independents Blackwell and Escondido go into the crowd with Big Labor and fellow Democrat James the Jeep Worker.  Inside the ring, Malibu Dusty hits a big suicide dive onto the Schmidts.  Golatta takes a running, flying knee smash and misses, hitting the corner turnbuckle.  The fans chant “PCW…PCW…”  Joe hits a flying bodypress on Golatta.  Jack hits a clothesline while Joe simultaneously hits a leg sweep.  Suave: “TOTAL ELIMINATION!”

Joe hooks the legs…1…2…3.

WINNER AND STILL PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: The Schmidt Brothers: Jack and Joe (R) @ 16:33

The Schmidts celebrate as the brawling continues.  Then…

Suave: “IT’S ATTACK WAAAAAAATCH!”

Attack Watch runs to the ring and bowls over Blackwell and Escondido.  Clothesline to Vinnie.  Clothesline to Frankie.  Big Boot to Blackwell.  Big Boot to Escondido.  Kenzie Blackwell jumps on Attack Watch’s back and attempts to choke him.    Security steps in and tries to seperate everyone.

BACKSTAGE
PCW Barack Obama talks with PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein.

Obama: “If we don’t prepare our people with the skills that they need to compete, we’re going to have problems.  If we don’t make sure that we continue to have the best infrastructure in the world, we’re going to have problems.  If we’re not continuing to invest in basic research, we’re going to have challenges.  If we don’t get our fiscal house in order in a way that is fair and equitable so that everybody feels like they have responsibilities to not only themselves and their family but also the country that’s given them so much opportunity, we’re going to have problems.  And so I am extraordinarily confident about America’s long-term future.  But we are going to have to make some decisions about how we move forward.  And what’s striking to me is, when we’re out of Washington and I’m just talking to ordinary folks, I don’t care whether they’re Republicans or Democrats, people are just looking for common sense.  The majority of people agree with the prescriptions I just offered.  The majority of people by a wide margin think we should be rebuilding our infrastructure.  The majority of folks by a wide margin think that we should be investing in education.  The majority of people by a wide margin think we should be investing in science and technology.  And the majority of people think by a wide margin that we should be maintaining programs like Social Security and Medicare to provide a basic safety net.   The majority of people by a significant margin think that the way we should close our deficit is a balance of cutting out those things that we don’t need, but also making sure that we’ve got a tax code that’s fair and everybody is paying their fair share.”

Chaz Bono Backstage
Chaz Bono visits PCW backstage.  Suddenly, someone runs out and shouts: ““Chaz Bono how low can this show sink! Well you have certainly addressed the gay community. Guess this will not be a family show any longer! Lost my family!”

Def Leppard’s ‘Tear It Down’ begins.

You got the look of a howlin’ wolf
I like it
The kind of eyes that could start a fire
Yes, I like it

Suave:  “IT’S THE EXTREME EQUALIZER- WHISKEY…TANGO…FOXTROT!!!!”

A streetwise dynamo
I switch you on and I watch you go
A thrill to touch, you’re so hot
I’m coming for you ready or not

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

I’m gettin’ ready
Livin’ on the edge of a dream
Gettin’ ready, I’m gettin’ ready
Oh, switch on your lovin’ machine

Crowd: What the #$##!  What the #$##!

Tear it down
There’s got to be a better way
Tear it down
I can’t wait another day

The guy tries to escape.  The Extreme Equalizer grabs him and lifts him in the air.  Then WTF delivers a powerbomb and flips him off.

Tear it down
There’s got to be a better way
Tear it down
If only you could stay
All night long

Replay: 7/18 PCW Extreme Political TV
Match #3 for the King of Extreme Title
Rush Limbaugh
Sean Hannity
Ann Coulter
Markos Moutilsas
Arianna Huffington
‘Hardball’ Chris Matthews
Glenn Beck
Laura Ingraham
Bill O’Reilly
Alan Grayson
Rachel Maddow
Keith Olbermann

…Al Gore immediately goes over to Beck and starts caning the ever-livin’ crap out of him.  Then…

David Shuster, Shannyn Moore, and Andrea Mitchell

…the FOK News All-Stars come out and join Gore in the beat down of Coulter.  Olbermann urges them on while wearing the crimson mask.  Shuster and Gore hold Coulter up.  Olbermann can’t see very well.  He charges Coulter.  SPEAR!]

Sauve: “SPEAR RIGHT OFF THE TOP OF THE CAGE!  HOLY CRAP!”

[Olbermann and Coulter land in the ring after going through the other levels of the cage.  They're both out.  But Olbermann lands on top of Coulter.  The referee makes the count...1...2...3.]

MATCH #7
PCW King of Extreme Title Match
PCW King of Extreme Champion Keith Olbermann (D) vs. The Queen of Political Extreme Ann Coulter (R)

Suave notes that Olbermann has held the title since July 18th when he won a battle royale on PCW Extreme Political TV.  Now, he faces an extreme challenge from ‘The Queen of Political Extreme’ herself Ann Coulter.  Her recent Facebook remarks about Troy Davis the night he was executed show that Coulter is in rare form.  For his part, Olbermann continues to do the things he usually does, rip Sarah Palin, rip Republicans, but on a much smaller scale than before- on Current TV.  Can Olbermann’s usual schtick hold up against ‘The Queen of Political Extreme?’

The bell rings.

Olbermann has the FOK News All-Stars (David Shuster, Shannyn Moore, and Martin Bashir) with him. Back and forth to start.  Coulter lands a loud slap to Olbermann’s face.  Stand off, and the crowd cheers.  Chops in the corner by Coulter.  She goes for a 10 punch count along but Olbermann puts a stop to it with an atomic drop at 4.  Suplex by Olbermann.  He gets a chair and sets it up in the corner.  Sends Coulter in shoulder first.  Snapmare? Olbermann covers- Coulter kicks out at 2…

…Olbermann and Coulter trade punches back and forth.  Coulter with a bionic elbow, with a mule kick thrown in for good measure.  Shuster and Moore on the ring apron.  The Tea Party: Average Joe, NRA, and ‘Tin Cup’ Ray McAvay, runs down and beats them to the back.  Olbermann distracted, Coulter with a chairshot.  Coulter covers…1…2…Olbermann kicks out.  Olbermann is bleeding.  Coulter with a basement dropkick.  She covers again for 2.  Olbermann goes for spinebuster, Coulter floats over and hits a neckbreaker on the chair…

…Coulter rolls under a Dragon Suplex.  She gets the Downward Spiral and then floats into the Koji Clutch.  The crowd now comes to life.  Olbermann gets the ropes.  Coulter’s got the cheese grater out…CHEESE GRATER!   Coulter with some elbows to the neck and folds him up with a SICK neckbreaker.  She makes the cover and here comes the FOK News All-Stars again followed by the Tea Party.  Average Joe, NRA, and McAvay pull Shuster, Moore, and Moore off the ring apron to the floor.  Olbermann’s distracted…Coulter with the chair…*WHAM!*  Olbermann’s down.  Coulter rolls him up…1…2…NO!  Olbermann kicked out.  The crowd can’t believe it.  Coulter can’t believe it.

Coulter takes the chair and slams it across his back.   Cover…1…2…KICK OUT!  Olbermann up.  Coulter with a side headlock…DDT on the chair.  Another cover..1…2…SHOULDER UP! Coulter with a rolling senton bomb.  Cover…1…2…AGAIN, KICK OUT!  Coulter slams the mat with her hand.   She slides out and pulls a table out.  She throws it in the ring and then sets it up.  Olbermann moving.  Coulter stomps at him and pulls him up.  She’s going for an Acid Drop…THROUGH THE TABLE!

Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”

Coulter hooks the legs…1…2…3!  New champion!

WINNER AND NEW KING…ER…QUEEN OF EXTREME CHAMPION: Ann Coulter (R) @ 21:55

Coulter sits on the mat and tries to catch her breath.  The FOK News All-Stars are not happy and complain to the referee.

More to come…

Fox News vs. MSNBC in Chamber of Doom Match/Weapons of Mass Political Destruction- Part 1

PCW/MVW WEAPONS OF MASS POLITICAL DESTRUCTION- PART ONE

BONUS MATCH
Sarah Mae Smith and Bird ‘The Mark’ Ridfych vs.
Mandy ‘The Principal’ Smyth and Magnum P.O’d

[… Smith grabs Magnum P.O'd's leg, rolls him over, and locks in a half Boston Crab. Davey Keels asks Magnum P.O'd if he quits. ... ... Magnum P.O'd trys to escape. ... Magnum P.O'd is fighting the hold. Sarah Mae Smith breaks the hold. Spinning neck-breaker from Sarah Mae Smith takes Magnum P.O'd down. Magnum P.O'd neck snaps Sarah Mae Smith. Magnum P.O'd applies the clawhold on Sarah Mae Smith. Magnum P.O'd takes Smith off her feet with a short-arm clothesline  Sarah Mae gets back to her feet. Magnum P.O'd gets sent into the turnbuckle while Sarah Mae hits him with a splash.  Sarah Mae grabs Magnum P.O'd's head and DDT's him on the mat. Sarah Mae Smith is back on his feet.  Smith and Magnum P.O'd go to the floor Davey Keels starts the count (.1) Magnum P.O'd is up again. (..2) Magnum P.O'd suplexes Sarah Mae Smith thru a table! (...3) Magnum P.O'd punches Sarah Mae Smith repeatedly. Sarah Mae Smith neck snaps Magnum P.O'd. Magnum P.O'd is hit with a backward kick. Magnum P.O'd climbs to his feet.  Smith takes Magnum P.O'd into the ring. Magnum P.O'd gets thrown into the corner and gets boot choked by Sarah Mae.  She slaps Magnum P.O'd. Sarah Mae thrust kicks Magnum P.O'd in the head.  Smith rolls him up with a backflip cradle. The ref starts the count. ...1 ...2 ...3 ]

WINNER: Sarah Mae Smith and Bird ‘The Mark’ Ridfych at 10:34

—————————-

PCW/MVW Weapons of Mass Political Destruction 2010
Rockford MetroCenter
Rockford, Illinois
Sunday March 7th, 2010
Hosts: Johnny Suave, Rick Fantastic, and Chastity Gold

[Suave, Fantastic, and Gold stand in the ring.  Lots of signs in the audience.  'Brandi Bayless- Marry Me!'  Lots of Mercenaries and Angels of Death signs.]

Suave: “Rockford, Illinois!  WE ARE LIVE!”

Crowd: “RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

Suave: “WELCOME TO WEAPONS OF MASS POLITICAL DESTRUCTION TWO THOUSAND AND TEN!”

Crowd: “RAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!”

Suave: “I AM JOHNNY SUAVE FROM POLITICAL CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING!”

Crowd: “PCW!…PCW!…PCW!”

Fantastic: “I’M RICK FANTASTIC FROM THE MISSOURI VALLEY WRESTLING ASSOCIATION!”

Crowd: “RAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!”

Gold: “AND I’M CHASTITY GOLD FROM THE MVW.”

Crowd: “RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

Suave: “Tonight is a special night.  This will be the final co-branded Pay Per View show with PCW and MVW.  Next month, Missouri Valley Wrestling steps out on its own with their first solo pay per view show, MVW Arch Wrestling Madness.”

Fantastic: “But tonight, we’ve got a lot of unfinished business to attend to.”

Gold: “So, let’s run down the card one last time before we get started.”

MVW Television Title Match:
Katie Collins (c)
vs.
‘Lingerie Girl’ Brandi Bayless

PCW Television Title Match:
The American Trucker (c) w/Tequila Sheila
(American Heartland Coalition)
vs.
SNAFU w/’Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin
(Independent)

MVW Grudge Cage Match:
Carrieanne McDermott
vs.
‘The Manchester Masterpiece’ Brooke Evans w/Mindy ‘The Principal’ Smyth

PCW Chamber of Doom Match:
Team MSNBC
(Keith Olbermann, Rachel Maddow, Lawrence O’Donnell,
‘Hardball’ Chris Matthews, Ed Schultz, and Arianna Huffington)
vs.
Team Fox News
(Bill O’Reilly, ‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin, Sean Hannity, Dennis Miller, Glenn Beck, and the ‘Queen of Political Extreme’ Ann Coulter)

Hall of Fame Induction
‘Not Just Intolerable, Not Just Unbearable, He is’ Justin Sufferable
The Drunken Luchadors Dan and Don Martini

PCW Tag Team Title Match
‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido and ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (c)
(American Heartland Coalition)- ranked #2 tag team in the world
vs.
Jack Schett and Bull Schett
(Ron Paul’s New Libertarian Army)

MVW Tag Team Title Match
The Mercenaries (Dawn McGill and ‘Sweet Southern Comfort’ Jackie Daniels)
vs.
Angels of Death (‘Ms. Lethal Weapon’ Angel Casey
and ‘The Terminatrix’ Angel Scott)

MVW Title Match
Miss USA (c) – ranked #6 in the all-woman rankings
vs.
Jill-Berg

PCW Title Match
‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (c)
(Democrat)
vs.
Khalid-El
(Axis of Evil)
vs.
Yamamoto Tanaka
(Independent)

Fantastic: “Chastity and I will take you through the first four matches of the night.  Katie Collins won the MVW TV Title one month ago at MVWA 20.

Replay: Katie Collins vs. Television Champion ‘The Manchester Masterpiece’ Brooke Evans- MVWA 20, Feb. 7th, 2010
Evans body slams Collins. Evans grabs Collins and applies an arm wrench.  Carrieanne McDermott runs in and jumps on the ring apron.  Mindy ‘The Principal’ Smyth over.  McDermott spears her from the ring apron and they begin to brawl on the outside.  Evans is distracted.  Collins clotheslines Evans. Collins uses a running lariat to take Evans down. Collins thrust kicks Evans in the head and then climbs the top rope.  Smyth tries to get to the ring.  McDermott holds her and then whips ‘The Principal’ into the barricade.  Evans gets hit with the shooting star press from Collins.  Ron Martin counts. …1 …2 …3

WINNER AND NEW MVW TELEVISION CHAMPION: Katie Collins

Gold: “Meanwhile, ‘Lingerie Girl’ Brandi Bayless has been a fixture here at Missouri Valley Wrestling going back to its inception.

Replay: Brandi Bayless vs. Carrieanne McDermott- MVWA 22, Feb. 28th, 2010
[...Bayless back in.  She hits a jawbreakeron on a distracted Carrieanne.  Brandi and McDermott lock up.  Bayless slaps McDermott.  McDermott sends Bayless accidentally into Davey Keels and he goes down. McDermott does a handspring and hits Bayless with a bodyblock!  McDermott bounces Bayless off the ropes and hits a backdrop. McDermott for the cover...no referee.  Evans and Smyth hit the ring. Evans punches McDermott repeatedly and kicks her in the groin. The Principal hits McDermott with a flying somersault drop kick.  Smyth bounces McDermott's head off the mat.   Evans knee drops McDermott.  The Lingerie Girl stands up and Smyth scissor kicks her to the mat.  Evans powerbombs McDermott and drags the Lingerie Girl on top of her for a pin.  Keels revives and gets up.  He starts the count. ...1 ...2 ...3 ]

WINNER: ‘Lingerie Girl’ Brandi Bayless @ 9:54

Fantastic: “Let’s go to the ring.”

[Jack Zenk stands in the middle of the ring ready to announce the first match.]

MATCH #1 MISSOURI VALLEY WRESTLING TELEVISION TITLE MATCH
Katie Collins (c) vs. Brandi Bayless

Zenk: “Our first match of the night is for the Missouri Valley Wrestling Television Title.  On her way to the ring at this time, weighing in at 105 pounds, from Holland, Ohio, ‘Lingerie Girl’ Brandi Bayless!!!”

Crowd: “RAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

[Brandi Bayless walks to the ring and blows kisses to the crowd.]

Fantastic: “Big ovation tonight for the Lingerie Girl!”

Gold: “Rick, this is the biggest match in her career.  A shot at the MVW Television Title.”

Zenk: “And her opponent, weighing in at 155 pounds, from Binghamton, New York, she is the Missouri Valley Wrestling Television Champion, Katie Collins!!!”

[Collins confidently comes to the ring.]

Chastity: “Katie had a tough go of it early on after she lost the unification match against Miss USA.  But she’s really turned her game up a notch over the past few weeks.”

Fantastic: “She defeated Brooke Evans for the TV Title and that is no easy feat.”

MATCH SUMMARY
[…Katie Collins is up again. KRC knee drops Lingerie Girl. Lingerie Girl is back on his feet. Katie with a snap mare on Bayless and locks her into the sleeper. The referee checks and Bayless escapes. KRC drags Bayless to the floor. Davey Keels starts the count (.1)  Collins lifts Lingerie Girl up and drops her on the floor.  Collins and Lingerie Girl move back into the ring.  Bayless stands up. Lingerie Girl gouges Collins's eyes. Lingerie Girl gets sidewalk slammed by Katie.  Collins fist drops Bayless on the mat. Katie Collins hits Brandi Bayless with an elbowdrop from the second turnbuckle. KRC stands up. Brandi Bayless is up again. Katie hits a running forearm smash on Lingerie Girl's face. Lingerie Girl moves back to his feet. Katie Collins thrust kicks Brandi Bayless in the head. KRC pins her with a backward bridge. The ref starts the count. ...1 ...2 ...3 ]

Zenk: “At 3:24, the winner of this match, and still MVW Television Champion, Katie Collins!!!”

Fantastic: “Wow!  Katie looked very sharp tonight!”

Gold: “I’m surprised Bayless came out as flat as she did, Rick.  She had really wrestled well leading up to tonight.”

Fantastic: “Katie Collins picks up the big win here tonight here at Weapons of Mass Political Destruction 2010.”

————————

Championship Wrestling Council

The CWC is an inter-fed currently consisting of 13 federations.

——————————————

Appalachian Wrestling

Defiance Wrestling

Pro Wrestling X

Missouri Valley Wrestling

Wrestling Midwest

World Fantasy Wrestling Alliance

——————-

MATCH #2 POLITICAL CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING TELEVISION TITLE MATCH
Ken Worth- The American Trucker (c) w/Tequila Sheila
(American Heartland Coalition)
vs.
SNAFU w/’The Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin
(Independent)

[PCW ring announcer Kimber Marshall steps through the ropes to announce match #2.]

Marshall: “Our next match is a one fall, forty-five minutes time limit for the PCW Television Title.  On his way to the ring at this time, weighing in at 225 pounds, from Norway, Maine a member of Independent accompanied by Tessa Martin, SNAFU!!!

*’Eastbound and Down’ by Jerry Reed begins to play*

East bound and down, loaded up and truckin’,
we’re gonna do what they say can’t be done.
We’ve got a long way to go and a short time to get there.
I’m east bound, just watch ol’ “Bandit” run.

Keep your foot hard on the pedal.
Son, never mind them brakes.
Let it all hang out ’cause we got a run to make.
The boys are thirsty in Atlanta
and there’s beer in Texarcana.
And we’ll bring it back no matter what it takes.

East bound and down, loaded up and truckin’,
we’re gonna do what they say can’t be done.
We’ve got a long way to go and a short time to get there.
I’m east bound, just watch ol’ “Bandit” run.

Marshall: “And his opponent, weighing in at 225 pounds, from Gary, Indiana a member of American Heartland Coalition and accompanied by Tequila Sheila.  He is the PCW Television Champion, Ken Worth- The American Trucker!!!”

MATCH SUMMARY
[… American Trucker slaps SNAFU. SNAFU German suplexes American Trucker thru a table! SNAFU is back on his feet. They lockup. SNAFU sends The Trucker to the corner of the ring. AT hits SNAFU with the double arm DDT into the mat. AT is up again. AT moonsaults from the top rope sending SNAFU thru a table! AT gets up. SNAFU gets up. SNAFU gives American Trucker a face buster thru a table!!! SNAFU stands up. American Trucker chokeclams SNAFU thru a table! AT climbs to the top rope and executes a Shooting Star Press putting SNAFU thru a table! American Trucker moves back to his feet. The Trucker nails SNAFU with a double underhook suplex. AT chants start. The Trucker hits a frog splash on SNAFU. AT is up again. SNAFU gets up. American Trucker hits the Jake Brake on SNAFU The Trucker catches SNAFU in a backslide and goes for the pin. Referee Davey Keels makes the count. ...1 ...2 ...3 ]

Marshall: “The winner of this match at 2:51, and still PCW Television champion, Ken Worth- The American Trucker!!!

Fantastic: “Wow!  Another quick match.”

Gold: “I am very surprised, Rick.  SNAFU was the PCW Television Champion was getting a second shot at it and he did not show up tonight.”

Fantastic: “I thought Ken Worth- The American Trucker looked terrific tonight.”

———————————

BACKSTAGE

Paige McGillicutty

[Paige is backstage with Carrieanne McDermott.]

Paige: “Carrieanne, your thoughts about tonight’s match.”

Carrieanne: “Really, not much to say.  The lassie hates me.  I hate the lassie.  Tonight, we’re gonna settle it.”

Paige: “Now, you both have-”

[A loud bagpipe blares and interupts Paige.  A woman dressed in a Scottish kilt comes in.]

Paige: “And who are you?”

Woman: “You kin call me Rowdie Randie Peiffer.  I’m gonna help Carrieann destroy that Tory git Brooke Evans once en for all.”

[She starts blowing the bagpipe again causing Paige to cover her ears.  Carrieanne follows.]

——————–

Fantastic: “Her name seems…familiar…”

[Chastity rolls her eyes.]

Gold: “Rick…Rick…Rick.”

————————–

BACKSTAGE

The PCW Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism is in his dressing room surrounded by the cognoscenti of the Hollywood Elite-  Will Smith, Johnny Depp, Leonardo DiCaprio, Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, Tom Hanks, George Clooney, Denzel Washington, Matt Damon, Jack Nicholson, Julia Roberts, Adam Sandler, Tom Cruise, Ashton Kutcher, Russell Crowe, Will Ferrell, Meryl Streep, Robert De Niro, and Ben Stiller.

Nancy Pelosi- President of the PCW Competition Committee, and Harry Reid- President of the PCW Executive Committee walk in.  A lane forms in the middle of the Hollywood elites and Chism and Pelosi stare at each other.

Chism: “Just one moment.”

[Chism walks down to Pelosi.]

Chism: “So, have you set this right?”

Pelosi: “Set this right as in, got the title match changed?  No.  You still have to face both Tanaka and Khalid-El.  That came from CEO Barack Obama and I couldn’t change his mind.”

Chism: “So, do you have a plan to make sure I retain the title after tonight?”

Pelosi: “No.”

Chism: “No?”

Pelosi: “No.  CEO Obama has made it clear that tonight there’s to be no chicanery at all.  You’re on your own.”

Chism: “And what am I supposed to do?”

Pelosi: “Stone, you’re the champion.  You figure it out.”

—————-

MATCH #3 MVW HELL IN A CELL MATCH

Carrieanne McDermott w/Rowdie Randi Peiffer
vs.
Brooke Evans w/Mandy ‘The Principal’ Smyth

[Jack Zenk back in the ring.]

Zenk: “Our next match will be a Hell in the Cell match.  On her way to the ring at this time, weighing in at 155 pounds, from Manchester, England accompanied by Mandy ‘The Principal’ Smyth, ‘The Manchester Masterpiece’ Brooke Evans!!!”

[Evans and Smyth walk briskly to the ring. ]

Fantastic: “Evans looks very focused tonight.”

Zenk: “And her opponent, weighing in at 120 pounds, led to the ring by ‘Rowdie’ Randi Pfeiffer, from Glasgow, Scotland, Carrieanne McDermott!”

[Pfeiffer, still blowing her bagpipe, leads McDermott to the ring.]

MATCH SUMMARY
[…Evans double underhook faceslams Carrieanne McDermott hard to the cage floor. Scotland's Favorite Daughter gets up. The Manchester Masterpiece hits a power slam on McDermott.  The Manchester Masterpiece swings a chair and hits McDermott. McDermott is bleeding as a result. Brooke applies an arm wrench to Scotland's Favorite Daughter. McDermott gets back to his feet. McDermott executes a huge gutbuster on Brooke Evans. McDermott stomps Evans's head. Brooke jabs Carrieanne McDermott. Scotland's Favorite Daughter tries for a gut-wrench powerbomb but The Manchester Masterpiece avoids it.  The Manchester Masterpiece uses the vertical facebuster on Scotland's Favorite Daughter. The fight moves to the top of the cell.  Evans lands punches on McDermott repeatedly. McDermott executes a swinging bulldog on Evans driving Brooke's face into the fencing. Scotland's Favorite Daughter gets up. Evans gets up. Evans grabs Carrieanne McDermott's head and DDT's her on the fencing.  Evans pulls her back up to her feet.  The Manchester Masterpiece bounces Carrieanne McDermott off the fencing and clotheslines her. Brooke slams Carrieanne McDermott through the roof onto the tacks!  Brooke goes after her. The Manchester Masterpiece chokes Carrieanne McDermott with her boot.  Brooke choke slams Scotland's Favorite Daughter. McDermott looks to be out cold! The Manchester Masterpiece goes for the pin. Davey Keels counts. ...1 ...2 ...3 ]

Zenk: “The winner of this match at 9:08, Brooke Evans!!!

Fantastic: “Incredible match!”

Gold: “McDermott’s hurt, Rick.”

[Nurse Nellie and the PCW Clean-up rush to the ring.]

Fantastic: “She’s bleeding for sure after taking that fall onto the tacks.  But I wonder if she landed poorly on the choke slam.”

Gold: “They’re checking her arm.”

Fantastic: “Evans walks away from the match triumphant!  And according to the stipulation, neither woman can touch the other after the match.  If either contestant breaks the stipulation, the offender will be suspended from MVW for one month.”

[Pfeiffer runs up behind Evans and swings the bagpipe, clocking Evans in the head.]

Fantastic: “I guess that doesn’t extend to seconds.’

[Pfeiffer kicks Evans.  Smyth runs in and tackles Pfeiffer.]

Fantastic: “Here we go…Smyth lays the boots to Pfeiffer.  WOW!  Pfeiffer just slapped the hell out of ‘The Principal’…but she doesn’t see Evans….enzugiri!”

Chastity: “Pfeiffer’s a sitting duck when it’s two on one.”

[Evans charges Pfeiffer, jumps up and applies the front facelock in mid air before swinging herself round and falling backwards down to the mat.]

Fantastic: “Tornado DDT on the floor by Brooke Evans!  They are simply destroying ‘Rowdie’ Randie Pfeiffer…I still say that name sounds familiar…Smyth hits a back body drop!   Now Smyth climbs up on the ring apron…moonsault!”

Gold: “The referee’s really need to stop this.”

[Smyth hooks each of Pfeiffer's legs in one of her arms, and then turns her  face-down, stepping over her in the process.  Smyth sets in a semi-sitting position and facing away from Pfeiffer, with her back and legs bent back toward her face.]

Gold: “Someone really needs to stop this.

Fantastic: “Evans stops the referee from breaking it up!  WAIT!”

Crowd: “RAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

[The MVW Television Champion Katie Collins runs down.  She grabs Evans from behind and then plants her to the floor.]

Gold: “Scorpion Death Drop!  It’s the Television Champion Katie Collins!  She takes Smyth by the back of her head…BULLDOG ON THE FLOOR!”

Crowd: “RAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

[Evans stumbles back up the runway to the back.  She turns and glares at Collins.  Then she continues on.]

Fantastic: “I have the feeling that we haven’t seen the last of this one.”

———————————-

Live from The Slaughter House in Orlando, FL
Wednesday,March 3rd, 2o1o

3 Hour Event
Who has a DREAM, and who wants to get HOSTILE?

Charlie Blackwell vs. Chris Jamez

Tex Terror vs. Eddie Stitchard

Mr. Hardcore/Kitty Purry vs. Adrien Cochrane
Inter-Gender Handicap Match

B.R. Ellis vs. “Beautiful” Bobby Dean

The Masked Dollar vs. Bishop Steele (c)
Television Championship Match

Psymon vs. Chris Bond
Special Referee Talon

eGG Bandits vs. #4 WWR rankedTag Team Grady Bunch (c)
Tag Team Chamionship

Dream Wrestling Federation

————————————–

• The Kallisten Coliseum, Chicago IL
• March 12, 2010 12:00 AM

• Bishop Steele v “Unstable” Elix Michaels
• The referee for this match is Joel Hortega, and the rules are Standard Match.

• Hydra v Extreme Kaos
• The referee for this match is Matt Boettcher, and the rules are Tag Team.

• Static v Justin Decent v ‘The Violence’ Vince Jones
• The referee for this match is Joel Hortega, and the rules are LSD No. 1 Contender Match.

• The Axis OF Power v The Maurako Family©
• The referee for this match is Matt Boettcher, and the rules are Tag Team.
• Tag Team Titles

• Aceldama v The Great Dane v Kirsta Lewis v Marcus Reinhardt v Christopher America v Simon Sparrow v Johnny Legend v Carmen Jennings v Mark “The Explosive” O’Neal v MPlow©
• The referee for this match is Joel Hortega, and the rules are Hardcore Elimination.

• Max Kael© v Ethan Cavanaugh v Scottywood
• The referee for this match is Matt Boettcher, and the rules are Invitational Match.

High Octane Wrestling

———————————

Fantastic: “They’ve taken Carrieanne McDermott to the back.  Her right arm was immobilized and it doesn’t look good.”

Gold: “It looks like Carrieanne may be out of action for awhile.  But it seems Brooke Evans has another target in mind- the current holder of the MVW Television Title Katie Collins.”

Fantastic: “They are lowering the second of the two Elimination Chambers of Doom for the next match between Team Fox News and Team MSNBC.  Last year, many of these same contestants met in another wild affair.”

REPLAY- 8 PERSON TAG TEAM ELIMINATION MATCH:
Mr. No-Spin BILL O’REILLY, The Queen of Political Extreme ANN COULTER, The Innovator of Extreme Broadcast Excellence RUSH LIMBAUGH, and The Alaskan Pitbull SARAH PALIN
vs.
MSNBC’s KEITH OLBERMANN, MSNBC’S RACHEL MADDOW, ‘Hardball’ CHRIS MATTHEWS, and ARIANNA HUFFINGTON
Suave: “Basically, once you get pinned- you’re out. The team with the last person standing wins the match.” The bell rings. O’Reilly and Olbermann, Coulter and Maddow, Palin and Huffington, and Matthews and Limbaugh all lock up. O’Reilly with lefts to beat down Olbermann. Limbaugh talks crap at Matthews as the crowd chants ‘Oxy-contin’ at him. Limbaugh tries to toss Matthews out of the ring, but Matthews gets a wristlock. Headlock counter by Limbaugh, off the ropes and Matthews misses a dropkick. Limbaugh celebrates and then tosses Matthews through the ropes and eats a dropkick by Olbermann. Maddow is able to reverse a toss and rams Coulter into the corner. Maddow hits lefts and rights. Coulter tries to come out but Maddow tosses her back first into the corner. Huffington escapes a powerslam and takes Palin down…

…Suave: “AND IT’S DOWN TO LIMBAUGH vs. OLBERMANN. Olbermann swings wildly at Limbaugh with the bat. Limbaugh out of the ring and finds a steel-folding chair. Olbermann on the floor now. He swings. *CLANK* Limbaugh blocks it with the chair. Limbaugh and Olbermann begin to taunt each other. Olbermann swings again. *CLANK* The bat nails the ring post. Limbaugh smirks. Olbermann sneers. He again cocks the bat back to swing. The crowd rises when two men run out and grab the bat. Suave: “IT’S CNBC’S RICK SANTELLI AND JIM CRAMER!” Olbermann whirls around to see. *CLANG* Suave: “HOLY CRAP! LIMBAUGH NAILS OLBERMANN WITH THE CHAIR! OLBERMANN STAGGERS AND FALLS ON THE RING TABLE!” Santelli and Cramer set Olbermann up. Limbaugh climbs the corner turnbuckle. Suave: “HE’S NOT! HE’S NOT GOING TO DO THIS!” Limbaugh leaps and plows Olbermann through the table. Crowd: “PCW!…PCW!…PCW!…” Suave: “HOLY CRAP! OLBERMANN DESTROYED THAT TABLE! LIMBAUGH CRAWLS OVER. 1…2…3.”

WINNER: RUSH LIMBAUGH, BILL O’REILLY, SARAH PALIN, AND ANN COULTER

MATCH #5  THE TWIN CHAMBERS OF EXTREME DOOM MATCH

Bill O’Reilly, ‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin, Sean Hannity, Dennis Miller, Glenn Beck, and ‘The Queen of Political Extreme’ Ann Coulter
vs.

Keith Olbermann, Rachel Maddow, Ed Schultz, ‘Hardball’ Chris Matthews, Lawrence O’Donnell, and Arianna Huffington

Fantastic: “And here they all come.  This is going to be fun.  Chastity, explain the concept of this match.”

Gold: “Okay, Rick.  Essentially, there are two Chambers of Extreme Doom.  Both teams will be split into three for each chamber- the left chamber and the right chamber.  The winner is determined by either 1) members of the same team emerging as winners in both chambers, or 2) the final two contestants hash it out to determine the winner.”

Fantastic: “Sounds easy enough.   Right now, they are loading up both Chambers of Extreme Doom.  Here’s the lineup for each Chamber…”

LEFT:
FOX- Dennis Miller, Sean Hannity, Ann Coulter
MSNBC- Lawrence O’Donnell, Arianna Huffington, ‘Hardball’ Chris Matthews

RIGHT:
FOX- Glenn Beck, Sarah Palin, Bill O’Reilly
MSNBC- Ed Schultz, Rachel Maddow, Keith Olbermann

Gold: “It looks like they’re ready to go, Rick.”

[The bell sounds.]

(LEFT CHAMBER)
[MSNBC's Lawrence O’Donnell and Fox's Dennis Miller to start.  O'Donnell scores with some stiff kicks and a flying forearm on Miller for 2. A dropkick gets 2 more on Miller.  O’Donnell goes to the arm but gets caught with a kick to the gut and a knee to the head.  O’Donnell tries to mount a comeback but bites a big back elbow and a running foot to the chest. They each counter hip tosses onto the metal grating,  O’Donnell hits an head kick and gets a 2 count. O’Donnell's whip is reversed but Miller runs into a boot.  O’Donnell tries a sunset flip but Miller drops down to counter. Again O’Donnell tries some kicks but he gets shoved into the side of Arianna Huffington's pod. Uranage backbreaker by Miller gets 2. The countdown stops and next man out is...Arianna Huffington! She gives a sinister smile and stares down Dennis Miller.  They face off while O’Donnell convalesces, and here come the fisticuffs!  Huffington gets the upper hand and nails the high knee. Knee drop by Huffington gets 2. Corner clothesline by Arianna, and she beats Miller down. Another clothesline gets a 2 count. O’Donnell is still lounging around, while Miller and Huffington each try and take each other to the chainlink.  Huffington elbows Miller and clotheslines him back into the ring, but gets a boot to the face on a charge.  Miller goes for a power bomb on the diminutive Huffington, Arianna gets out the back and hits a DDT for 2.  O’Donnell off the top with a crossbody to Miller for 2!]

(RIGHT CHAMBER)
[It's Ed Schultz and Glenn Beck to start.  Schultz takes Beck down with a shoulder then eats a leg lariat and gets 2.  Whip by Beck, Schultz avoids a couple of attacks and hits a leg lariat of his own for two.  He throws Beck onto the grating but Schultz gets a double-leg and CATAPULTS Beck into the chain! He takes Beck into a pod then goes up top...SOMERSAULT SENTON off the top into Beck!  Schultz whips Beck into the chain three times then rolls him back inside.   Beck looks as if he's about to have a stroke.  Schultz misses a kick. Beck takes him up for the suplex!  Schultz out the back, he misses the corkscrew elbow and gets NAILED with a stiff kick and then the  Vertical Conservative Press! 1...2...3!]

Glenn Beck eliminates Ed Schultz via pinfall

(LEFT CHAMBER)
[10-spot punches in the corner by Miller to Huffington and a flying clothesline. SLINGSHOT BOOM DROP to Huffington on the grating! Miller blindsides her with a clothesline and rolls him back inside for a 2 count. Countdown is on...'Hardball' Chris Matthews!  He clotheslines Miller and stamps on him.   Miller responds and levels O’Donnell with a European uppercut but then Matthews stamps on Miller some more.  Kneedrop to the head of Miller.  Cover on Miller gets 2. Matthews sends Miller to the grating and then throws him into the chainlink! Again! And again! Huffington comes over and she gets a hat trick of chainlink!  Matthews stamps away at Miller.  O’DONNELL! He flies in and takes out all three! Matthews rolls inside, O’Donnell springboards INTO A DROPKICK BY DENNIS MILLER!  1...2...no!]

(RIGHT CHAMBER)
Glenn Beck gets the mic and points to Keith Olbermann, telling him he better pray that his pod opens last because Beck is going to make him tap. He points to Rachel Maddow and says he will prove that her decadent lifestyle leads to no good. Then he wants us to feel the Glenn Beck flow through him.  Ew. The countdown is on…MADDOW!  She comes out with right hands and the springboard senton! Crossbody gets 2!  She rolls through a sunset flip and kicks Beck’s head to the 5th row! 1…2…no!  Drop toehold by Maddow.  No.  She’s not going to try the 619!  Here it comes…Maddow jumps through the second and top rope while holding on to the ropes, and uses the momentum to swing back around into the ring…and right into a POWERSLAM by Beck! 1…2…no!  He sets for the Vertical Conservative Press, REVERSED! Rana by Maddow! 1…2…no! Maddow goes on the attack on the grating, he tries the rana but Beck holds on! He swings Maddow into the chains HARD! And again! He throws him into the ring, cover! 1…2…no. Running high knee by Beck, he runs and LAUNCHES Maddow between the ropes and head-first into a pod!  1…2…2.809!  Beck perches Maddow up top and goes up with her, Maddow fights him off and Maddow is climbing the pod! Beck chases him and NO WAY! VERTICAL CONSERVATIVE PRESS from the top??!!! No, Maddow slides off. She kicks out the foot of Beck, crotching him, and goes up top…RANA to the steel! Springboard splash! 1…2…3!!!]

Rachel Maddow eliminates Glenn Beck via pinfall

(LEFT CHAMBER)
[Miller is up and he rams Matthews arm-first into the corner! Countdown! Sean Hannity!  He goes after everyone except Miller, then stares him down in the corner. Matthews is slumped against the bottom turnbuckle.   Hannity offers his hand to Miller!  He pulls Miller up and both men go after Arianna. They stomp him down then go after Matthews, ramming his shoulder into the post. They grind O’Donnell's face into the chain and then choke him on it. Oh this is awesome, O’Donnell's head is stuck in the chainlink while Hannity applies a Boston Crab and Miller stamps on his back.  Huffington and Miller exchange rights until Hannity clocks him from behind. Miller holds Huffington while Hannity lays the boots in, then they throw her to the grating. They throw Huffington back-first into the chain, and now Miller is setting Huffington for the elevated DDT...he stops, goes to the grating and DROPS HER ON THE STEEL INSTEAD!!!]

(RIGHT CHAMBER)
[Bill O'Reilly in!  Maddow flips over the back of O’Reilly but gets levelled with a clothesline. BIG flapjack by O’Reilly.  Lionsault attempt, O’Reilly lands on his feet bit Maddow dropkicks the knee! O’Reilly rolls out of the ring to the grating, Maddow tries a springboard but O’Reilly ducks, Maddow holds on to the chain! O’Reilly yanks her off and Maddow lands face-first on the steel! O’Reilly takes her to the chain twice, Maddow rolls inside and O’Reilly hits a slingshot splash for 2.  O’Reilly stands on Maddow's back.  Maddow fights back with some kicks but O’Reilly hits a snap mare and locks in a modified arm-in chinlock.]

O’Reilly: “ASK HER!”

[Maddow fights out, ducks a clothesline and hits a quebrada press for 2. Maddow avoids a charge, tilt-a-whirls herself and locks in a guillotine choke. O’Reilly rams Maddow into the turnbuckle to break the hold and then locks in the STF!  O’Reilly breaks the hold when Sarah Palin enters the match.  But the extra help does him no good as he eats a dropkick, and another from Maddow.  O’Reilly gets launched to the grating.  Palin attacks Maddow and tries to lift her to the grating, Maddow lands on her feet! Springboard INTO A STIFF KICK by Palin! O’Reilly reverses a knee lift by Maddow into a schoolboy for 2. He whips Maddow in but charges into a boot, Palin to the top but Maddow jumps up with her and pushes him backwards into a pod! Maddow charges O’Reilly but gets lifted on to the grating! He pushes Maddow into the chain and sets for a flying double clothesline over the corner post!  Got it!  Inside he hits the standing SSP for 2.  Maddow hits a back elbow to a charging Palin and ranas her into 619 position...again, she can't pull off the move as O’REILLY intercepts with the spinning shock treatment! 1...2...no! He whips Maddow to the corner but eats the flying Chuck on her return! Maddow ranas Palin to the bottom turnbuckle!  She puts Palin up top...here comes the super rana...PALIN BLOCKS! Eskimo Pieface...CONNECTS! 1...2...3!]

Sarah Palin eliminates Rachel Maddow

(LEFT CHAMBER)
[The countdown starts as Matthews circles the door to Ann Coulter's pod. Here comes 'The Queen of Political Extreme and she is a house of fire.   Shoulders and clotheslines everywhere! Right hand for Matthews! Throwback to Matthews... She takes him up for a Attitude Adjustment and drops him TO THE GRATING!  Matthews has recovered enough to throw Coulter out onto the grating, leaving Hannity as the last man up.  I think O’Donnell is still stuck in the fence. Matthews tries to take Coulter to the chain but it's reversed! STF to Matthews!  Matthews breaks it up! Chinlock backbreaker! He stalks Coulter and what?  John McCain is at ringside with a lead pipe! He's trying to get Coulter's attention and make good with the conservative movement but Coulter wants none of it, so McCain drops the pipe in the ring anyway.  Hannity has the pipe! He nails...MATTHEWS! He covers Matthews! 1...2...3!]

Sean Hannity  eliminates ‘Hardball’ Chris Matthews via pinfall

[Hannity levels Huffington as Matthews and Miller stare each other down. Hannity picks up O’Donnell but gets countered with a headscissors back into the ring! O’Donnell...Trouble in Paradise on Miller! 1...2...3!]

Lawrence O’Donnell  eliminates Dennis Miller via pinfall

[Hannity NAILS O'Donnell with the pump kick.  Power Bomb...connects! 1...2...3!]

Hannity eliminates O’Donnell via pinfall

(RIGHT CHAMBER)
[Guess who's in?  Keith Olbermann and the fun begins.  Kicks to the chest of O’Reilly, he goes to the well one too many times and O’Reilly catches the leg! Leg trip by O’Reilly, he tries to lock in the Boston Crab.  Olbermann bails and catches O’Reilly with right hands and hits an avalanche.  Snake eyes and the big boot connects. Another boot for Palin, big leg to O’Reilly gets 2.  Chokeslam time for Palin!  O'Reilly and Palin work together and hit a double suplex on Olbermann. They clothesline Olbermann up and over, Palin with a Magistral cradle! 1...2...no! O’Reilly rolls outside then backdrops Olbermann to the grating. O’Reilly toys with Olbermann, which may go down as the dumbest move ever. Olbermann gets pissed and O’Reilly tries to hide in the pod...unsuccessfully. Olbermann pulverises him then hits an avalanche on Palin, and a second. Snake eyes by Olbermann and the big FLYING CHUCK! He nailed it! He's selling the ankle injury though! Instead of the pin he goes for the Big Splash...KNEES!  O’Reilly thinks this would be a good time to go after Olbermann, but Olbermann sits up in time and O’Reilly flees to the pod and closes the door. Olbermann looks out of it but throws Palin to the grating and stamps away. He throws Palin into the pod door and the plexiglass gives but does not go down. Olbermann goes for a power slam on Palin...O’Reilly charges and spears Olbermann! Palin hangs on to the chains as Olbermann charges O’Reilly...O’Reilly moves! Olbermann goes THROUGH the pod plexiglass! Palin comes off the chains with a crossbody!  Palin and O’Reilly roll into the ring.  Palin forgot about Olbermann and gets goozled! CHOKESLAM to the grating! 1...2...3!]

Keith Olbermann eliminates Sarah Palin via pinfall

(LEFT CHAMBER)
[Coulter gets hit with a knee trembler by Huffington.  Coulter gets her up for the Attitude Adjustment but Huffington escapes and hits the uranage backbreaker again. Powerslam gets 2.  She hangs Coulter in the Tree of Woe and stamps away, then snags Coulter for the sleeper...Arianna breaks off and low blows Hannity.  PEDIGREE TO HANNITY!  She drapes an arm over him! 1...2...3!!!]

Arianna Huffington eliminates Hannity via pinfall (Pedigree)

[Coulter struggle to his feet...STF! Huffington struggles and fights and struggles...Coulter holds on...Arianna fights for the ropes...Coulter wrenches back...Huffington looks to be fading...SHE TAPS!]

Ann Coulter eliminates Huffington
Ann Coulter wins the Left Chamber.

(RIGHT)
[Olbermann stalks O’Reilly, O’Reilly charges and eats a pair of rights. Corner beating by Olbermann now, he backs up and hits a running high knee in the corner.  He tries a running boot but O’Reilly moves! He goes up top with Olbermann...superplex connects! 1...2...2.68! Knee drop by O’Reilly and some rights, he comes off the ropes GOOZLE! O’Reilly rolls through to the Walls! Olbermann counters with Hell's Gate...BLOCKED! Sleeper locked in! Olbermann has nowhere to go! He rolls to his back and almost gets the Hell's Gate, O’Reilly fights and uses the ropes as leverage to escape!  He picks up O’Reilly for the power bomb...O’Reilly out the back!  DDT! 1...2...2.9003! O’Reilly with the 10-count punches in the corner, Olbermann grabs on! SIT DOWN POWER BOMB.  Wait!  John McCain with another pipe!  Pipe shot through the grating, Olbermann ducks and O'Reilly CATCHES IT FLUSH!  McCain can't believe it!  Olbermann covers! 1...2...3!]

Keith Olbermann eliminates Bill O’Reilly
Keith Olbermann wins the Right Chamber

[J.D. Hayworth runs out and tackles McCain.]

Fantastic: “Hayworth is laying a beatdown on John McCain.  McCain tried to shore up his credentials with the conservatives and it’s totally backfired.”

[Hayworth and McCain brawl all the way to the back.]

Gold: “Rick, it’s down to Keith Olbermann vs. ‘The Queen of Political Extreme’ Ann Coulter.”

Fantastic: “Mano y womano.”

Gold: “You have such a way with words, Rick.”

Fantastic: “I know.”

MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann
vs.
Fox News’s Ann Coulter

Fantastic: “The gate goes up and it’s on!  Olbermann and Coulter just pummel each other on the top level of these Twin Chambers of Extreme Doom!”

[Olbermann sweeps the legs out from under Coulter.  Coulter lands hard but instinctly thrust kicks Olbermann in the balls.  Olbermann falls over and he's in a world of hurt.  Coulter pulls out...the cheese grater and tenderizes Olbermann's forehead with it.  Olbermann with a wild left hand sends Coulter and the cheese grater flying across the top of the cage.  Olbermann wearing the crimson mask.  Coulter slowly gets back up.  Olbermann can't see very well.  He charges Coulter.  SPEAR!]

Fantastic: “SPEAR RIGHT OFF THE TOP OF THE CAGE!”

Gold: “Oh my God…”

[Olbermann and Coulter land in the ring after going through the other levels of the cage.  They're both out.  But Olbermann lands on top of Coulter.  The referee makes the count...1...2...3.]

WINNER: MSNBC- Olbermann pins Coulter

Fantastic: “I think they’re both dead.”

Gold: “If not, they should be.”

Fantastic: “Team MSNBC picks up the win in the Twin Chambers of Extreme Doom Match.  We’re going to do an announcer switch and Johnny Suave will take you the rest of the way.  We’ll be back after this.”