PCW Super Court Renders Decision on Arizona: PCW Extreme Political TV

PCW Extreme Political TV
Pikeville High School Gym
Pikeville, KY
Monday June 25th, 2012
Host: Johnny Suave

Outside the high school, a series of limos pull up.  Suave: “It looks like the big guns are here tonight in Pikeville, Kentucky after this happened over the weekend.

Replay: Dawn McGill vs. PCW Television Champion Valora Salinas at Norfolk, VA
…McGill body slams Valora.  She rolls the TV champ over and locks in the Katajime.  Valora taps out. 

Suave: “That’s right.  Saturday night in Norfolk, Virginia, ‘The 6 Foot Demolition Machine in a Short Skirt’ and former Army Ranger Dawn McGill defeated Valora Salinas for the PCW Television title!”

*The beginning of The Beastie Boys‘ “Sabotage” begins to play*

The crowd stands and cheers as McGill, flanked by her tag team partner Svetlana Kovalevski, appears. 

The Mercenaries: Dawn McGill and Svetlana Kovalevski

I can’t stand it, I know you planned it
I’m gonna set it straight, this Watergate
I can’t stand rocking when I’m in here
‘Cause your crystal ball ain’t so crystal clear

So while you sit back and wonder why
I got this fucking thorn in my side
Oh my God, it’s a mirage
I’m tellin’ y’all, it’s a sabotage

McGill holds the PCW TV belt in the air and heads to the ring.  Suave: “McGill to the ring.  I wonder what she’ll have to say about what happened?” McGill climbs in with Svetlana and takes the mic.

McGill: “How’s it going, Pikeville?”  She pauses as the crowd roars.  McGill: “Without getting into the specifics, Valora Salinas has moved on to bigger and better things.  Let’s give her a round of applause for everything she’s done for PCW!”  Again, the crowd roars.  McGill: “Tonight, we may have a new PCW Television champion, but I promise you that I will finish what Valora set out to do.  I will take the fight to the Republicans and Democrats and will be YOUR champion!”

Voice: “Hold on.  Hold on a minute!”  Suave: “HOLY CRAP!  It’s PCW Competition Committee Chief John Boehner (R-OH)!”  Boehner, accompanied by Eric Cantor (R-VA) and Paul Ryan (R-WI), strides to the ring. Boehner takes the microphone.  Boehner: “Here’s the problem.  *I*, as the Chief of the PCW Competition Committee, never authorized a title match to take place in Norfolk.”  McGill: Perhaps, that’s because you and your cronies were too busy at Mitt Romney‘s (R-MA) big soiree!”  The crowd cheers again.  Boehner: “Very funny, Dawn.  Look, I don’t know what’s going on or why Valora left PCW, but I do know this, you will have to earn that title.”  The crowd boos.  Boehner: “That’s why you will defend the TV Title tonight against Texas Jack!”

Voice: “Not so fast!”  Suave: “IT’S HARRY REID (D-NV)!”  Reid, Nancy Pelosi (D-CA), and Chuck Schumer (D-NY) steam towards the ring.  Reid: “Miss McGill, I’m afraid that as the Chief of the PCW Executive Committee, I, too, must raise an objection to what went down Saturday night because I was never notified of the situation.”  Reid confronts Boehner.  Reid: “Plus, there’s no way in hell I’m letting the Republicans have a free pass to win another title.”  McGill: “EXCUSE ME?”  McGill takes a steps towards Reid but Schumer gets in her way.

Reid:”So, tonight.  You will also be facing a Democratic challenger for the PCW Television Title- DANIEL-SAN!” 

McGill swipes the microphone from Reid. McGill:”You want it; you got it.  Let’s do it…NOW!”  The crowd roars as McGill motions to the back for the challengers to come to the ring.  First, it’s Texas Jack (R) who runs to the ring.  He slides in and both combatants start whaling away at each other.  Then the former PCW Champion Daniel-San (D) hits the ring and joins in.

MATCH #1- PCW Television Title Match:
Dawn McGill (c) w/Svetlana Kovalevski vs. Texas Jack (R) w/’Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas vs. Daniel-San (D)
Texas Jack goes right after McGill.  McGill drills him with a right hand.  Daniel-San tries to sneak up on her from behind and gets met with a body slam.  Suave: “McGill means business tonight.  She looks like she’s in the best shape of her life.  Jack goes after Daniel-San and hits him with a back elbow.  Texas Jack lifts Daniel-San, but the former champion slips out the back and kicks his leg.  Jack is sent to the outside through the ropes.  McGill tries to sneak in a pin on Daniel-San and gets a 1 count.

Daniel-San up and locks up with McGill.  Side headlock from McGill.  Daniel-San sends her into the ropes and hits a shoulderblock.  Irish whip again by Daniel-San, he hops up and McGill slaps on the Testicular Claw while Daniel-San in mid-air.  Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”  Daniel-San screams and tries to pry McGill’s hands off his balls.  Texas Jack back in the ring and Atomic Drops McGill from behind.  Daniel-San pounces and sets McGill in the Mexican Surfboard as Jack watches.  Cover from Danel-San…1…2…kick out!  McGill rolls out of the ring.  Daniel-San dives through the ropes and runs right into a hard uppercut from Svetlana Kovalevski ringside.  Texas Jack on the apron, flies, and lariats Svetlana.  Then he sends Daniel-San back first into the barricade.  Crowd:”PCW!…PCW!…”

COMMERCIAL BREAK
Announcer Guy: “And now, a public service announcement from Jill Berg.”

*The opening notes of Whitney Houston’s version of ‘The Greatest Love of All’ starts to play*

“I believe the children are our are future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier…”

Jill Berg appears with two children flanking her.

JILL: Hi. I’m Jill Berg. I believe the children are our future. Communities statewide are recognizing that healthy childhood experiences are not just good for children, but good for their communities as well. It’s simple really. The actions we take, like parent-child interaction, reading and constructive play, can promote healthy child development.”

“Everybody searching for a hero
People need someone to look up to
I never found anyone to fulfill my needs
A lonely place to be
So I learned to depend on me…”

The scene shifts to Jill sitting on a couch with children playing in front of her. She leans forward with her chin resting on her hand.

JILL: “Unfortunately, children are sometimes exposed to intensive stress. Too much stress is bad for anyone but it can be devastating to child development.”

Child: “BANZAI!”

Behind Jill, one boy leaps across the couch and tackles another boy.

JILL: “At a time when we all care about the economy and its effect on the family, it just makes sense to spend more time learning how stable, nurturing relationships influence a child’s developing brain and provide a foundation for all future development.”

Another boy stands on the arm of the couch, preparing to jump.

Child: “TO THE EXTREME!”

He leaps and lands a flying elbow.

JILL: “So, promote healthy child development. Take time out to play with your child-YOW!”

The camera slides back to show a young girl with a mischevious grin on her face and her foot on Jill’s expensive heels.

JILL: “Take the time to play with your child. And you and your child will be the better for it. I, Jill Berg, will do my part as well because I’m not just wrestling for me- I’m wrestling for the children!”

CHILDREN: “JILLLLL-BERG!….JILLLLLL-BERG!….JILLLLLL-BERG!”

Suave:  “What the hell was THAT?” 

Both men down, and McGill is going up top.  Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi start over to intercept her but Daniel-San is up first.  He flies towards and goes for a high back elbow.  But McGill jumps down and suplexes him up and over the top rope- eliminating Daniel-San from the match.  Reid and Pelosi throw a fit ringside.

Daniel-San eliminated.

Texas Jacksneaks up from behind and whacks McGill.  She’s sets up for a Superplex, but Svetlana is back and makes the save!  McGill rolls Jack up.  Boehner on the apron and distracts the referee.  Suave: “Oh, come on!”  The ref finally slides in and makes the count for 2.  McGill and Svetlana kick Jack’s knees and get in a double suplex.  McGill goes martial arts on Texas Jack.  She hits a kick and then follows with a heel kick to the face.  Svetlana with a chair- nooo, Texas Jack ducks and runs right into a hand from McGill.  ’Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas comes running in to help Texas Jack but Svetlana cuts her off and sends her over the rope!  McGill goes top rope- she hits for the suicide dive! McGill slingshots Jack towards the ropes- belly to belly suplex!  McGill for the pin- NO!  Jack’s feet are on the ropes!  Jack sends McGill into the corner.  Dallas swings a chair and misses.  McGill stumbles forward right into a sidewalk slam and a pin for 1…2…NO!  Jack goes up top! Clothesline…NO!  McGill ducks- KATAHAJIME!!!  Dallas desperately tries to get into the ring.  Svetlana races around and pulls her off the apron.  Boehner up on the apron…Jack fading…HE TAPS! 

WINNER AND STILL PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION: Dawn McGill @ 18:32

COMMERCIAL BREAK

POLITICAL CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING IS PRESENTED BY:

BACKSTAGE
Miss USA nervously paces in her dressing room.  Suave: Ann Romney has put the full court press on to woo Miss USA into the Republican camp.  We’ll find out later tonight just what Miss USA is going to do.”

Bill Maher and Rachel Maddow are in the ring to dispute the notion that they are partisans.  The problem is that the crowd isn’t buying it.  Maher: “We can’t help that people who disagree with us should be locked up in mental hospitals because they’re not as intelligent as we are.” Maddow:”Yeah, if you think I’m a partisan then you haven’t watched my show.” Voice:”I have…”

Charlie Blackwell of the American Heartland Coalition comes out and calls them hypocrites.  Blackwell: “You accuse Fox News of being so bad but yet you’re no better than they are!”  Of course, Maher and Maddow take great offense to this and call to the back.  Suave: “Who are they calling?” 

Triple R (Road Rage Randy) (D)

Suave: “Oh, oh.”  Triple R hits the ring and clobbers Blackwell from behind.  He starts kicking away and Maher and Maddow join in. 

Do you hear the people sing?
Singing a song of angry men?
It is the music of a people
Who will not be slaves again!
When the beating of your heart
Echoes the beating of the drums
There is a life about to start
When tomorrow comes!

Suave: “HERE COMES BLACKWELL’S LES MISERABLES!!!”  Triple R, Maher, and Maddow escape and make their way to the back.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Announcer Guy: “And now, a public service announcement from Jill Berg.”

Jill Berg stands in front of an animal shelter.

JILL: “Hi. I’m Jill Berg for the ‘Guard Dogs for the Poor’ Foundation. One of the goals of ‘Guard Dogs for the Poor’ to facilitate positive interactions between neighbors by creating a safe neighborhood for everyone. ‘Guard Dogs for the Poor goes to local pet shelters and find dogs to train into guard dogs.”

Scene shifts to inside a dog training facility.

JILL: “Thousands of “child-friendly” dogs are trained every month to be matched up with a poor family and help provide a safe, comforting presence. The dogs go through specialized training before they are released to the family…”

A handler works with a dog.

JILL: “Here, the dog is trained to immediately identify an intruder inside the house and the appropriate way to respond.”

A life-size cardboard cut-out of Michael Vick is wheeled into view. The dog growls and immediately takes off. He leaps and bites the cardboard cut-out in the balls and tears it in half.

JILL: “Now, the dog is taught how to appropriately interact with children.”

Scene changes to a split second of a dog humping the handler’s leg, followed by a quick scene shift to the same dog, obviously sedated, laying in a child’s lap being petted.

Scene changes to Jill walking down the hallway of a house.

JILL: “There are some important rules to follow if you take in one of these animals. The big one is to take responsibility for your pet and never paw it off…ha…ha…on someone else. These dogs will literally give their lives to protect yours. Treat them with the respect they-”

The hostile growl of a dog interrupts her.

Jill looks into a room. One of the guard dogs has spotted her and seems to have unpleasant intentions.

JILL: Oh…snap.”

Scene changes to Jill and several children. Jill has a large bandage on her right arm.

JILL: So, support the ‘Guard Dogs for the Poor’ foundation. I’m Jill Berg, reminding you that…I’m not just wrestling for me- I’m wrestling for the children!”

CHILDREN: “JILLLLLL-BERG….JILLLLLL-BERG!….JILLLLLL-BERG!”

BACKSTAGE
Bill Maher and Rachel Maddow are met by Janene Garofalo.  Garofalo congratulates them and calls the people jeering them racists.  Garofalo: “They’re all racists- just like all the Republicans.”

BACKSTAGE
PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein talks to Brad Company.  Company took PCW to the Super Court over PCW CEO Barack Obama’s (D-IL) health care inititive that required all PCW employees to purchase health insurance.  Bernstein asks if Company is nervous about the outcome.  Company: “Yes…and no.  I think the PCW Super Court will do the right thing-” 

Jan Brewer (R-AZ) and Sheriff Joe Arpaio (R-AZ) walk by.  Bernstein breaks off the interview and runs over to Brewer to get her comment on the PCW Super Court’s ruling against the Arizona Immigration Law.  Brewer: “Bottom line is PCW CEO Obama and his lackeys are telling Arizona to drop dead. They are just leaving us alone to fight our fight on ourselves. It’s absolutely obvious that they’ve made Arizona a target.”

MISS USA ANNOUNCEMENT
PCW Women’s Champion Miss USA is in the ring to make her announcement.  There’s a table in front of her with a contract to join the Republicans.  Miss USA: After giving this much thought, I’ve come to a decision.  I’m going to wrestle for everyone- not just the Republicans.  So, I’m afraid I’m going to have to turn down their offer.  Suave: “There you have it.  Miss USA is not going to join the-”

THUMP

THUMP

THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

THUMP

THUMP

THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

The video screen goes to just outside a dressing room in the back. A police escort is waiting at the door. One of the policemen knocks on the door.

Policeman: “Ms. Berg. It’s time.”

Suave: “JILL-BERG?  JILL BERG IS BACK?.”

The door opens and four large male bodybuilding types walk out of the dressing room surrounding a petite woman and her male assistant in the middle. The woman is busy talking on her cell phone while the man furiously scribbles down notes as the group makes their way towards the ring. 

THUMP

THUMP

THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

The procession emerges from the back and starts their way down the ramp.

The male assistant has a microphone and a portable tape recorder. He flips it on.

“JILLLLL-BERG…JILLLLL-BERG…”

The group then continues towards the ring leaving the police escort behind.

“JILLLLL-BERG…JILLLLL-BERG…”

The four bodyguards assist Ms. Berg into the ring. She and her assistant immediately go to a corner.

“JILLLLL-BERG…JILLLLL-BERG…”

Berg continues to talk on her cell phone while protected by two of the bodybuilders.

“JILLLLL-BERG…JILLLLL-BERG…”

The second Berg gets into the ring, the other bodyguards immediately attack Miss USA.   Berg stays in her corner and talks on her cell phone. Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”  Miss USA gets her clock cleaned by the bodyguards. Berg: “Hold on.” She hands the phone to her assistant. Berg chops Miss USA with a knife edge chop to the back of her head.  Then she whirls around and nails a spinning heel/buzzsaw kick.  Miss USA falls to the canvas unconscious. 

Berg walks over to the table and signs off on the contract.

Romney All But Ends It- PCW Pennsylvania Punditry Report

PCW Pennsylvania Punditry
Red Crown Bowling Center
Harrisburg, PA
Tuesday April 24, 2012
Play by Play: ‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave

Newt Gingrich (R-GA) came out and said the race isn’t over until he says it over.  Since no one else in the back is willing to wrestle for him, he’ll take on Mitt Romney‘s (R-MA) wrestler ‘The Japanese SuperDestroyer’ Yamamoto Tanaka (R) himself if he has to.

Romney comes out and immediately agrees to the match.

(1) ‘PCW’s Queen of Extreme’ Valora Salinas def. ‘Tin Cup‘ Ray McAvay of the Tea Party

Valora tuned up for her upcoming match against ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) for the PCW Television Champion by destroying McAvay.  Chism watched the match with Code Pink and Emily S. List but did not intervene.  After the match, Chism and company left.

 Former PCW Women’s Champion Kathryn Randall Colllins (D) came out and demanded an immediate rematch against new champion Miss USA.

Replay: Miss USA’s victory over KRC last Thursday on PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN

KRC again petitioned the PCW Competition Committee for relief.  Leader of the Competition Committee John Boehner (R-OH) came out and told her that he would bring it up for a quick vote.

(2) Tom Tebow- Tim Tebow‘s Long Lost Black Sheep Brother He Never Knew He Had w/Suspended St. Louis Ram Defensive Coordinator Gregg Williams def. Ronnie Walker (R) of Scott Walker’s (R-WI) Rangers.

Tebow tried to take out Walker’s knee but John Walker (R) made the save.  After the match, Tebow and Williams went back and met PCW Tag Team Champions Big Union (Democrats ‘The Self Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker) to collect their bounty. 

Big Union refused on the basis that Tebow didn’t get the job done and a scuffle broke out before security jumped in.

PCW Competition Committee Meeting
Eric Cantor (R-VA) held a meeting for Republicans and tried to rally the troops against on sanctioning the match between Yamamoto Tanaka and Newt Gingrich. 

Cantor: All right.  I don’t care what you think of Newt, this match should not be sanctioned nor take place.  Those of you who will oppose this, raise your hands.

Only a smattering of hands go up.

Cantor: No, seriously.  Who’s against this match?

Again, only a slight few raise their hands.

Cantor: Oh, come on.  I know Newt has his moments but still…let’s try again.  Those who will oppose this match raise their hands.

Yet again, only a few scattered hands go up.  Meanwhile, on the Democratic side…

Nancy Pelosi (D-CA): Okay, those in favor of sanctioning the Tanaka-Gingrich match raise your hand-

Immediately, hands are thrust into the air.  Some put both hands up.

‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave: HOLY CRAP!  WE’VE GOT BIPARTISAN CONSENSUS!  SOMEONE MARK THIS DOWN ON THE CALENDAR!

(3)  World B. Peace def. Richard Headd of Guys With Unfortunate First Names Given Their Surnames.

Peace swept into PCW earlier in the night with a message of love and peace.  Then Headd accidently collided with him and Peace uncorked a nasty elbow to the back of his head and knocked him out cold for the win.

Peace then apologized afterwards and blamed the incident on a sudden outbreak of acne that irritated his face.

Suave: You mean to tell me that the reason he decked him with that elbow is because World Peace broke out?

Hello?  Is this mic on?

COMMERCIAL BREAK

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Before the main event, Leader of the PCW Competition Committee John Boehner comes out and announces that former PCW Women’s Champion Kathryn Randall Collins will indeed get her rematch with Miss USA for the women’s belt- at PCW Loose Cannons Unleashed 8 in June!

Plus, Boehner announces that due to the events earlier tonight that the Competition Committee has voted that Scott Walker’s (R-WI) Rangers: Ronnie and John Walker (R) will meet PCW Tag Team Champions Big Union:  ’The Self Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D) for the tag team belts at Loose Cannons Unleashed 8.

MATCHES SIGNED FOR JUNE’S PCW LOOSE CANNONS UNLEASHED 8 PPV:
-PCW Television Title Match: ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) (c) vs. Valora Salinas
-PCW Tag Team Title Match: Big Union: ‘The Self Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D) (c) vs. Scott Walker’s Rangers: Ronnie and John Walker (R)
-PCW Women’s Title Match: Miss USA (c) vs. Kathryn Randall Collins (D)
-PCW Title Match: The Sanderman (D) (c) vs. Yamamoto Tanaka (R)

Plus, PCW Hall of Fame Inductions of:
Wrestlers: ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido (I) and Starz N. Stripes (also known as ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott) (R)
Politicians: ‘The American Screamer’ Howard Dean (D-VT) and ‘The Mastermind’ Karl Rove (R)

(4) Main Event: Yamamoto Tanaka (R) w/ Mitt Romney (R-MA) vs. Newt Gingrich (R-GA)

Gingrich came out first and milked the moment for all it was worth.  He spent what seemed an eternity walking around the ring and trying to shake peoples hands until he finally got annoyed and grabbed the mic to berate the crowd, specifically the Democrats. He said he wouldn’t let any Democrats down here touch his calves, which was odd and completely out of character.

Tanaka and Romney came down next.  The bell rang and Gingrich, to his credit, took the fight right to Tanaka and promptly ate a powerbomb.

Tanaka, to his credit, dispensed with the gratiutious destruction of Mr. Gingrich and merely dragged him up to the top rope for the cursery Japanese SuperDestroyer.  With Gingrich splayed out on the mat, Tanaka put his foot on Gingrich’s chest and the referee could have counted to three hundred and the result would have been the same.

WINNER: Yamamoto Tanaka (R) @ :23

So, now it’s on to PCW Politics is War tomorrow night. 
- PCW CEO Barack Obama will make what is being called a big announcement
- Newt Gingrich to also make an announcement

Blackwell Rips Warring Parties at PCW House Show

PCW House Show
Richmond Coliseum
Richmond, Virginia
Wednesday July 20th, 2011

MATCH #1 Magnum PO’d (R) w/ Robyn Masters def. GreenPete w/ the Green World Order (D)
- after Magnum PO’d dominated the first half of the match, the Green World Order (‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee, Peta from PETA, and PeaceNick)  ganged up on Magnum, and spent most of the match weakening him down.  Eventually, Robyn Mastersi came in and cleaned house, and Magnum hit his finisher on one for the win.

After the match, Peta from PETA, already agitated about GreenPete losing the previous match, gets on the microphone to denounce former WWE wrestler Shawn Michaels’s new Outdoor Channel Show “Shawn Michaels MacMillan River Adventures.”

Peta said in response to the show: “Jeffrey Dahmer ate everything he killed, too, but that didn’t justify taking innocent lives.”

Michaels stuns onlookers by coming out and then referee shows up in the ring?

MATCH #2 Shawn Michaels vs. Peta from PETA w/the Green World Order
um…Peta rushes forward…Sweet Chin Music by Michaels.  Michaels covers.  Match is over.

Fresh off winning the PCW King of Extreme title, Keith Olbermann walks out holding the belt up high along with his FOK buddies David Shuster, Shannyn Moore, and Andrea Mitchell.  Olbermann gloats about the party that Al Gore (D) threw for himself and his friends afterwards.   Olbermann says the party tonight is in celebration of “me”  as the world champion.

Then “Do You Hear the People Sing?” from the Les Miserables soundtrack interrupts Olbermann and out comes Charlie Blackwell (American Heartland) followed by 25 of his Les Miserables.  Blackwell reiterates that no one is bigger than PCW, including Keith Olbermann’s big fat ego.  There’s a Charlie Blackwell chant.  Blackwell talks about how the current PCW budget impasse shouldn’t be about ego and party.  He denounces the rich fat cats in both parties more concerned about protecting their seat and placating special interest groups than making the hard decisions that need to be made.

Olbermann is, predictably, quite irate with Blackwell’s interruption and taunts him with ‘at least I have a nightly cable TV show.  How about you?’  Blackwell retorts that he could put together a show with wrestling finger puppets and pull the same rating Olbermann pulls at Current TV.

Blackwell then gets jumped by Triple R (D) and ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) and then the Les Miserables get involved creating quite the scrum.

In the aftermath, guest ring announcer Jamie Chung announces that tonight’s main event will be Charlie Blackwell vs. Triple R.

MATCH #3 Joe Walsh (R-IL) vs. ‘Hardball’ Chris Matthews (D)
- Walsh and Matthews have huge issues with each other after Walsh’s contentious appearance on Matthews’s show.  Matthews goes for the Biovator but Walsh blocks it and connects with the Freshmen Flush to get the win.

Backstage, Olbermann threatens Blackwell for attacking him and Triple R says he’s leaving on a stretcher.  Triple R says he has a lot of aces in the hole, such as the ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism and his valets, The Skanky Rich Bimbos (Kim, Courtney, and Chloe).

MATCH #4 The California Teacher’s Union (D) (“Foul Pole” Andy Golatta and Malibu Dusty) w/pet Governor Jerry Brown (D-CA) vs. Rough Justice (R) (D.B. Ruff and Connor Justice- two former police officers fired because of their extreme brand of law enforcement)
-The CTU is trying to angle themselves back into the Tag Team title picture.  Rough Justice is better known for being hired muscle or enforcers than for their wrestling.  Rough Justice puts up a valiant fight but Andy Golatta’s ‘Foul Pole’ low blows turn the tide.  Malibu Dusty gets the pin for the CTU with a simple roll up of Ruff.

In the lobby, there’s a pie throwing boot.  People are lined up and down the lobby waiting for their shot.  A woman, face covered in white Kool-Whip, leaves the the back of the booth.

Rupert Murdoch walks in.  “Where do I stand?”

MATCH #5 Average Joe (Tea Party) w/Michele Bachmann vs. James the Jeep Worker (D) w/ Big Labor and the CTU
- Average Joe tries to bring the Tea Party a win over Democrat James the Jeep Worker.  The match was just there at first until Bachmann came down with a migraine headache.  Big Labor and the California Teacher’s Union then interfere and help James the Jeep Worker get over.

Backstage, PCW CEO Barack Obama, with PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka beside him, is talking with the ‘Gang of Six.’   Then he walks to the podium.

Obama: We now are seeing the potential for a bipartisan consensus.  The proposal by the Gang of Six  is “broadly consistent” with what I have sought.”

Eric Cantor, The Tea Party, and Grover Norquist: “NO NEW TAXES!”

Nancy Pelosi, AFL/CIO President Richard Trumka, and Bernie Sanders: “NO CUTS IN ENTITLEMENTS.

Obama: This proposal from the bipartisan group is “good news” in the ongoing showdown over the debt limit, and may signal a path to compromise and “a very significant step forward.”

Eric Cantor, The Tea Party, and Grover Norquist: “NO NEW TAXES!”

Nancy Pelosi, AFL/CIO President Richard Trumka, and Bernie Sanders: “NO CUTS IN ENTITLEMENTS.

Obama: We’re in the 11th hour and we don’t have a lot of time left.  My team will study the plan and I would urge congressional leaders to start negotiating based on its framework.

Eric Cantor, The Tea Party, and Grover Norquist: “NO NEW TAXES!”

Nancy Pelosi, AFL/CIO President Richard Trumka, and Bernie Sanders: “NO CUTS IN ENTITLEMENTS.

MATCH #6 PCW Tag Team Champions The Schmidt Brothers (Jack and Joe) (R) w/Ron Paul and Jim Schmidt vs. The Bureaucrats (Jordan Metzger and Andy Riley) (D)
- It was what it was. The Schmidts easily handled their opponents early on.  Then Metzger and Riley rallied for a bit before Jack came in and cleaned house.  Stereo Schmidt-Bricks ended it.

Post match, the Schmidt’s Extreme German Schnauzer Hans Gruber chase The Bureaucrats to the back.

MAIN EVENT: Charlie Blackwell (AmHeart) w/Kenzie Blackwell and his Les Miserables vs. Triple R (D) w/Big Labor
- wild brawl that went all over the arena. 
- Bill Maher and Ed Schultz came out and started taunting and saying derogatory things about Kenzie Blackwell.   “The Queen of Political Extreme” Ann Coulter raced down and delivered a double clothesline to Maher and Schultz.
- then the Angry Left Wing Bloggers (Markos Moutilsas, Arianna Huffington, Eric Boehlert of Media Matters, and Katrina Vanden Heuvel of the Nation intervene.
- this brings down the Right Wing Brigadiers (Michelle Malkin, Laura Ingraham, Glenn Beck, and Rush Limbaugh) and the match breaks down from there.

Republicans Outraged, Obama Still Stuck At BP Station Waiting For Someone to Fix The Oil Leak in His Car

As expected, Republicans were furious when they found out that Nancy Pelosi, President of the PCW Competition Committee, and Harry Reid, President of the PCW Executive Committee named Yamamoto Tanaka…

‘The Japanese Super Destroyer’ Yamamoto Tanaka (D)

to take the place of injured Republican Kevin Scott…

‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R)

…in this Monday’s PCW Title Match against PCW Champion Average Joe…

Average Joe (I-American Heartland Coalition)

…at PCW Loose Cannons Unleashed 6.

Replay from Monday’s PCW Extreme Political TV:
Johnny Suave – What is Jill-Berg doing here?

Berg’s bodyguards race over to Tanaka and pull him off the turnbuckle.  Jill-Berg snaps into action and hits a wicked spinning heel kick on Tanaka.

Johnny Suave – HOLY CRAP!

Scott follows with a jumping DDT on Tanaka.

Johnny Suave – Scott covers.  One…two…three!]

ELIMINATED: Yamamoto Tanaka @ 23:00
WINNER: ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott

Paige McGillicutty – Kevin Scott pulls off the big win.  But it’s not done yet.

[Enraged, Tanaka throws Scott head first into the turnbuckle.  Triple R jumps Scott and starts choking him with a tie.  Tanaka tosses Berg and Magnum from the ring and commences to stomping Scott while Triple R keeps the choke hold in place.

Linda McMahon runs in and yells at Triple R from the outside.

Linda McMahon - STOP!  STOP!

Johnny Suave - SOMEONE STOP HIM!  KEVIN SCOTT IS TURNING BLUE!

Daniel-San (I)

Johnny Suave - WHO THE HELL IS THAT?

Daniel-San runs down.  Tanaka pulls himself away and meets him.  Low blow by Daniel-San takes Tanaka down.  Daniel-San grabs a leg and whips around, putting Tanaka into a Figure Four Leglock!  Triple R continues to choke out Scott.   McMahon continues shouting at Triple R.  Daniel-San releases Tanaka and clobbers Triple R from behind.  He takes the tie and wraps it around Triple R's neck.  Now McMahon starts yelling at Daniel-San.]

Pelosi…

Nancy Pelosi (D)

…poo-pooed the Republican’s complaints saying:  “It’s their lack of supervision, of regulation, of discipline … that caused the problem in the first place.   Those were the policies when George W. Bush was the CEO of PCW.  We’re not going back to that.”

Republican spokesperson Eric Cantor…

Eric Cantor (R)

…had this to say: “With all due respect to Madame Pelosi, Kevin Scott didn’t wake up in the morning and blame George W. Bush for what happened to him.  It’s clear who’s responsible for his injury- Tanaka and Triple R.  It’s a travesty that Tanaka gets Scott’s title shot.  Where’s Barack Obama?  Why hasn’t he stepped in and addressed this crisis?”

Cut to: BP Gas Station

PCW CEO Obama remains trapped inside his vehicle for the 59th day.  His car is surrounded by thick black oil that continues to leak from the engine while BP mechanics continue feverishly to work on it.

Obama – “BP’s going to pay for this.  Oh yes, mark my words.  BP is going to pay for this!”

Republicans Re-sign Kevin Scott/ Al and Tipper Gore (D) Separating: PCW Newsline

Republican Leaders Michael Steele and Eric Cantor announced at a press conference earlier today the return of former PCW Champion Kevin Scott to the Republican fold.

American Citizen Kevin Scott

In the Press Conference, Steele read the following statement: “As Starz N. Stripes and a member of the Republicans (then the American Patriots), Kevin Scott held the PCW Title from March to November, 2008.  After Scott lost the title at PCW Extreme Election Night 2008 to O’Beck Bahama (D), he went through a period where he struggled.  He briefly joined the Democrats where he hooked up with ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido and then left with him to go to the American Heartland Coalition.  Escondido and Scott held the PCW Tag Team title for over seven months.”

Steele added that Scott would become the Republican’s number one wrestler and would be pushed for another go at the PCW Title-  now held by Independent Average Joe.

The Democrats released a statement of their own concerning Scott’s return to the Republicans.

“Kevin Scott’s return to the Republicans wouldn’t be surprising if it weren’t for the fact that Scott doesn’t seem to be able to stay in one place for very long.  Scott did in fact join the Democrats for a while before washing out and joining the independent American Heartland Coalition.  Scott shouldn’t count on getting a shot at the PCW title anytime soon.  He’ll have to wait on cashing in his PCW title aspirations as Democrat Yamamoto Tanaka has first dibs on a title shot.  In fact, Kevin Scott may wish he’d made a different decision after he finds out that trying to get by Tanaka is like trying to pass through a brick wall.”

The Democrats also announced the signing of another tag team to challenge for Jack and Joe Schmidt’s PCW Tag Team Title in Matt Ficus and Rick Walker aka Diversity In Action- a tag team that features two wrestlers of differing sexual orientations (Ficus- gay; Walker- not gay).

——————-

PCW’s ‘Extreme Environmental Hardcore Icon’ Al Gore and his wife Tipper have announced that they are separating and headed towards a divorce.

Al Gore

Tipper Gore

Rush Limbaugh immediately claimed that the reason for the divorce was that Al Gore could never come to terms with losing in 2000 to George W. Bush.

Democrats predictably blamed the divorce on Bush and Dick Cheney.

Other WP Political Blog Stories:

• Give a fish,teach to fish,I don’t know… June 2, 2010 Alfie
• The Real Threat To Western Civilization June 2, 2010 Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere
• Random Thoughts on the Sad State of Affairs June 2, 2010 Rutherford
• A Toon View… June 2, 2010 Alfie
• Crazed Christians… June 2, 2010 Alfie
• Something Rotten in Caracas… June 2, 2010 Alfie
• It’s fearful: President Obama is allowing himself to be exploited June 2, 2010 PanAm
• Obama Has Made One Surprisingly Sound Decision Regarding The Gulf Oil Disaster June 2, 2010 Kempite
• UPDATE: Louisiana gets White House OK for dredge plan June 2, 2010 aharding
• TRENDING: Carville bumps into BP CEO June 2, 2010 CNNmms
• BREAKING: WH orders BP to fund Louisiana dredge project June 2, 2010 aharding
• Kucinich wants Obama to ‘call Israel to an accounting’ June 2, 2010 aharding
• George W. Bush joins Facebook June 2, 2010 CNNmms
• Republicans demand White House docs on Sestak June 2, 2010 aharding
• Palin backs Murkowski opponent in Alaska June 2, 2010 aharding
• Kirk continues to face allegations of dishonesty June 2, 2010 cnnam
• Ex-GOP official faces 6 felony counts June 2, 2010 cnnam
• CNN/Opinion Research Poll – May 21-23 – Financial Regulation, Health Care June 2, 2010 cnnpoll

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• Ford confirms rumors it will discontinue Mercury June 2, 2010
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• White House may withhold some Kagan documents June 2, 2010
• Sorry for the brief site outage this afternoon June 2, 2010
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Tanaka Destroys Blackwell: PCW Extreme Political TV on P-SPAN

PCW Extreme Political TV on P-SPAN (1 Hour)
Douglas N. Everett Arena
Concord, NH
Monday April 5th
Host: Johnny Suave

The show starts with a replay of Jill-Berg after she was assaulted at PCW/MVW Weapons of Mass Political Destruction.

Policeman: “Ms. Berg?  Ms. Berg.  It’s time!”

THUMP

THUMP

THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

THUMP

THUMP

THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

[The Policeman takes a step back and then kicks down the door.  Inside the room lies Jill-Berg, bloodied, unconscious, and sprawled out on the floor.  Next to her, Berg's assistant Reika is also knocked out and bleeding.  Across the room, Berg's personal assistant Jerry is half on, half off a chair, knocked out, and also bleeding. ]

Policeman: “CALL THE PARAMEDICS!”

Suave: “HOLY CRAP!  SOMEONE LAID OUT JILL-BERG AND HER ASSISTANTS!”

Then a replay of last week’s attack on Reika by Jill-Berg.

THUMP

THUMP

THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

THUMP

THUMP

THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

[The video screen goes to just outside a dressing room in the back. A police escort is waiting at the door. One of the policemen knocks on the door.]

Policeman – Ms. Berg. It’s time.

[Jill Berg and her five bodyguards stride out from her dressing room with a purpose.]

Johnny Suave – IT’S JILL-BERG!  SHE’S GOT A SCORE TO SETTLE WITH REIKA FOR SELLING OUT TO THE DEMOCRATS FOR TANAKA’S SERVICES!

[Jill climbs into the ring and tells her bodyguards to hold Reika up.  Two bodyguards pull her from the mat and stand her up.  Jill takes a step forward and whirls around- nailing a spinning heel kick flush on Reika's jaw.  Reika slides to the mat unconscious.]

Johnny Suave – JILL-BERG JUST KO’D HER FORMER ASSOCIATE REIKA!

Reika is in the ring and calls out Jill-Berg.

THUMP

THUMP

THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

THUMP

THUMP

THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

[The video screen goes to just outside a dressing room in the back. A police escort is waiting at the door. One of the policemen knocks on the door.]

Policeman – Ms. Berg. It’s time.

Jill Berg and her five bodyguards answer the call and head to the ring.

Reika tells Jill-Berg that it’s not her fault she was injured at the Weapons of Mass Political Destruction Pay Per View.  All she knows that the paychecks stopped coming and she need the cash.  The Democrats made her an offer she couldn’t refuse.

George Soros, major Democrat financial backer, walks out with Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Steny Hoyer, and the PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka.  They are followed by the Angry Left Wing Bloggers Arianna Huffington, Jane Hamsher, Eric Alterman and MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann, ‘Hardball’ Chris Matthews, Rachel Maddow, and Ed Schultz.

Reika tells Berg that she delivered Tanaka to the Democrats thanks to a…sizeable contribution from Mr. Soros.

Jill-Berg responds by telling Reika she stopped paying her because she didn’t do her job in protecting her.  Reika laughs and observes that Tanaka listens to her now.  She wonders aloud just what is stopping her from having Tanaka finish off Jill-Berg once and for all?  Berg responds, “This!”

Michael Steele, Eric Cantor, Mitch McConnell, John Boehner, A-Bomb and H-Bomb walk out with the Right Wing Crusaders, Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter, Laura Ingraham and Fox News’s Sean Hannity, Bill O’Reilly, and Glenn Beck.  Berg: “Meet my NEW friends.”  Jill-Berg notes that she won’t be cleared to return to action until April 15th but when she does get cleared, she plans on making history, with the full support of the Republicans, by becoming the first woman to win the PCW Title!  Berg also notes that she can take full advantage of the ‘loose rules’ in PCW that she couldn’t in Missouri Valley Wrestling.

Johnny Suave: “Well, this is very interesting.”  It quickly gets more interesting.

‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido, ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott, and ‘Not Just Unbearable…Not Just Intolerable…He is’ Justin Sufferable walk out.  Scott states that unlike the Democrats and Republicans who answer to their big money supporters, the American Heartland Coalition is of the people, by the people, and FOR THE PEOPLE!  The rest of the AHC walks out: Dave the Mechanic, Ken Worth- The American Trucker, Tequila Sheila, and SNAFU.  Escondido then introduces an old friend…

Replay from last week’s show…

A steaming Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid stride to the ring.

Nancy Pelosi – WAIT A MINUTE! WAAAAIT A MINUTE!  You put that sign down right now!

The fan refuses.

Nancy Pelosi – I said put that sign down.

The fan flips Pelosi off.

Escondido says that the fan just isn’t a fan- he’s former PCW Wrestler Average Joe!  Scott adds that he and Escondido are going to focus on regaining the tag team belts and introduces the newest and youngest member of the American Heartland Coalition…19 year old Charlie Blackwell!  Blackwell and his 18 year old girlfriend/valet Kenzie Blair, holding on to her ‘Wrestling Manager for Dummies’ book, walk out and join the AHC.

Nancy Pelosi yanks the microphone away from ring announcer Kimber Marshall…

…and addresses Blackwell.  She tells him that he was offered the ‘chance of a lifetime to tag with a great champion Yamamoto Tanaka’ and threw it away on an ‘independent movement that may have a couple titles but no real power within PCW.’  Since Pelosi is President of the PCW Competition Committee, she makes a match between Tanaka and Blackwell tonight.  Pelosi then books Escondido and Scott against the Democrats main tag team Charlie Ranck and Pete Fyle and then Paddy O’Kennedy (D) versus the American Heartland Coalition’s, and PCW Television Champion, Ken Worth-The American Trucker.

Then Hank Johnson walks out and he’s very concerned.  With the amount of people standing inside the ring, he fears that the ring will collapse downwards and suck the entire arena down into the molten hot magma below and start a catastrophic chain reaction that will destroy the planet!

Def Leppard’s “Rock, Rock Til You Drop” blares and the Extreme Enforcer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot returns  WTF runs to the ring, grabs Johnson by the throat, and choke slams him.

———————

Coming up in three weeks!  PCW Night of Champions, live from Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon in Wauseon, Ohio.

All three titles will be on the line.  Other special matches will be booked.

Monday April 25th- PCW Night of Champions.

————————

PCW RANKINGS

PCW WORLD CHAMPION: Yamamoto Tanaka (Democrat)

PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION: Ken Worth-American Trucker (American Heartland Coalition)

PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS:  Jack and Jim Schmidt (Ron Paul’s New Libertarian Army)

SINGLES CONTENDERS:
#1- Khalid-El (Axis of Evil)
#2- Kevin Scott (American Heartland Coalition)
#3- SNAFU (American Heartland Coalition)
#4- Bird ‘The Mark’ Ridfych (Independent)
#5- Newt Tron Bomb (Republican)

TAG TEAM CONTENDERS:
#1- ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido and ’American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (American Heartland Coalition)
#2- Big Oil and Big Electric (Public Utilities)
#3- A. Tom Bomb and Hy Drogen Bomb (Republican)
#4- Ranck and Fyle (Democrat)
#5- Raving Rednecks Locke and Loade (Republican)

———————

MATCH #1
‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido and ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (I) vs. Ranck and Fyle (D)

Pete Fyle and ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott to start.  Lock up in the middle of the ring.  Fyle gets the advantage whips the American Citizen to the corner of the ring.  Flying elbow by Fyle and a quick tag to Charlie Ranck.  Ranck hits a kneeling headbutt to Scott’s groin.  Ranck lays the boots to Scott.  Scott catches the boot and flips Ranck backwards.  He tags in Escondido.  Ranck with an armdrag takedown into an arm grapevine.  Fyle on the top turnbuckle…flying sitdown splash.  Ranck covers.  Escondido kicks out.  Low bridge by Escondido on Ranck and he tags Scott back in.  Scott lays some right hands into Ranck.  Then turns and sends Fyle flying out of the ring.  Ranck rakes the eyes.  Elbow drop by Ranck.  Ranck with a corkscrew legdrop.  He covers.  Scott kicks out at two.

Scott tags Escondido back in.  Ranck tags in Fyle.  Fyle launches himself at Escondido and hits the flying elbow.  Ranck throws a chair in.  *WHAP*  Escondido reels back into the corner.  Chair on the mat.  Fyle bulldogs Escondido on the chair.  Fyle goes up top.  Splash on the chair.  Fyle covers.  Escondido kicks out again.  Scott in and grabs the chair.  *WHAP* He nails Fyle with the chair.  Escondido with the gut wrench powerbomb onto the chair.  Irish whip to the ropes by Escondido.  He chokes Fyle with his boot.  Scott in with a table.  Escondido powerbombs Fyle through the table.  Ranck in and walks into a chairshot by Scott.

Escondido slams the chair into Pete Fyle’s face!! Fyle is busted open.  He rolls him over and grabs the leg.  CATTLE MUTILATION!  Fyle quickly taps out.

WINNER: ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido and ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott @ 11:05

Backstage, Nancy Pelosi is pissed.  She tells Paddy O’Kennedy that he’d better come back with the PCW Television Title.

Charlie Blackwell cuts a promo…actually his girlfriend Kenzie Blair does.  Blair calls Pelosi the poster child for everything wrong with PCW.  Blackwell tries to get her to tone it down.  Blair calls Pelosi ‘Tom DeLay in a skirt.’  Again Blackwell tries to get her to tone it down.  Blair says the Democrats can’t even stand up to their own special interest groups.  We were promised change.  We were promised that things were going to be different.  What did we get?  The same ol’-same ol’.  Earmarks out of control.  Pressing issues that need to be addressed don’t because both parties don’t dare go against their big money special interest groups.  So we continue to get the same old gridlock because the Democrats have proven themselves to be just as untrustworthy as the Republicans.  Again, Blackwell tries to get his girlfriend to settle down.  Blair then says that it doesn’t matter how much bigger and stronger Yamamoto Tanaka is, Charlie Blackwell is still going to kick his ass.  Blackwell literally has to drag her off camera.

MATCH #2 for the PCW Television Title
Paddy O’Kennedy (D) vs. Ken Worth- The American Trucker (c) with Tequila Sheila (I)

Worth starts with a leg lariat and takes O’Kennedy off his feet.  O’Kennedy grabs Worth’s head and DDT’s him.  O’Kennedy drops the fist.  Worth responds with a headlock and takes O’Kennedy down.  O’Kennedy fights his way out with a couple of back elbows and then a right hand.  The American Trucker responds with an atomic drop.  Standing drop kick to O’Kennedy’s back sends him over the top rope to the floor.  Tequila Sheila grabs her blender and whaps O’Kennedy with it.  Worth on the top rope…elbow drop to O’Kennedy sends him sprawling.  Now Worth with a chair.  He blasts O’Kennedy several times with it before returning to the ring.

O’Kennedy barely beats the count.  Worth lifts him up…JAKE BRAKE!  Worth covers…one…two…three.

WINNER AND STILL PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION: Ken Worth-The American Trucker @ 5:11

Backstage, Pelosi is furious.  She tells Reika Kisaurgi to have Yamamoto Tanaka make an example out of Charlie Blackwell.  Reika nods and leaves.

———————-

Championship Wrestling Council

The CWC is an inter-fed currently consisting of 14 federations

MATCH #3 – Non-Title Match
Charlie Blackwell w/ Kenzie Blair (I) vs. Yamamoto Tanaka (c) w/Reika Kisaurgi (D)

Tanaka roars out of his corner and lariats Blackwell.  Tanaka lays the boots to Blackwell repeatedly.  Kenzie Blair screams at Tanaka.   The PCW Champion with a blatant chokehold.  The referee tries to make Tanaka break the hold but gets thrown down.  Tanaka whips Blackwell hard into the corner.  Tanaka whips him again to the other corner.  Reika in the ring with a table.  She starts to set it up.  Kenzie Blair runs in and bulldogs Reika.  Tanaka takes Blair by the hair and whips her into the corner with Blackwell.  He runs…BIG SPLASH on Blackwell and Blair.  Tanaka takes Blackwell to the top rope…JAPANESE SUPER DESTROYER THROUGH THE TABLE!  Tanaka covers.  One…two…three.

WINNER: PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka @ 4:46

Post match, Tanaka drags Blackwell back up to the top rope again.  A SECOND JAPANESE SUPER DESTROYER!  Blair back up.  She nails Tanaka with her book- Wrestling Manager for Dummies.  Tanaka drags her up to the top rope.  Immediately Escondido and Scott run out with the rest of the American Heartland Coalition.  Rahm Emanuel leads the Democrats out and Eric Cantor charges out with the Republicans.  Huge scrum in the ring ends the show.

————————

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POLITICAL HOT TOPICS: April 6, 2010

4/19-PCW on P-SPAN: Al Franken and Norm Coleman to Meet Next Sunday in a Hardcore Barbed Wire Deathmatch

Nancy Pelosi takes on the American Heartland Coalition/Domination Inc. stays strong thanks to its new recruits/Former Domination Inc. member Daisy Cutter-Bomb tries to find a new home.

4/19 PCW on P-SPAN Results from Harrisburg, PA

Match #1: Mercedes (Domination Inc.) defeats “Trailer Park Sweetheart” Tanya Hardy with the White Trash Posse (Independent) via submission to the Mercedes Bendz.

Post match, Domination Inc. members Porsche Lexus, Big Oil, Kirk Walstreit, and Rough Justice: D.B. Ruff and Connor Justice- two former police officers fired due to their extreme methods of law enforcement, ran out and beat down Hardy and her two White Trash Posse compadres. PCW Security Director Dawn McGill came out and reestablished order. Both Big Oil and Walstreit, victims of kicks to the groin with McGill’s four inch stilettos, quickly hightailed it out of there.

————

A quick review of the Domination Inc. Press Release from Friday:

“Domination Inc. announces the hiring of five new wrestlers to its stable: Cadillac, Jaguar, Big Monster Whalie, Mercedes, and Porsche Lexus. All five wrestlers debuted last Sunday night during the PCW on P-SPAN show and already have made a huge difference in reestablishing Domination Inc. as the ultimate corporate force in PCW.

“Domination Inc. CEO ‘THE Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann commented: “The addition of Big Monster Whalie aka BMW, Cadillac, Jaguar, Mercedes, and Porsche Lexus will jump start our efforts to takeover Political Championship Wrestling and remake it in my image. We have already shown that the PCW Champion O’Beck Bahama is no match for our Big Monster and I’m very confident that the PCW Title will shortly be in the Domination Inc. stable. Cadillac and Jaguar are capable wrestler who will help Domination Inc. with our bottom line. Mercedes and Porsche Lexus will allow Domination Inc. to reenter the PCW Women’s title chase and bring the title back to us.”

“CFO Gordon Guyko adds: “This move will maneuver Domination Inc. back to the top of PCW and is money well spent. Our goals are simple: Domination Inc. will control all four PCW title belts by PCW Loose Cannons Unleashed 5 on June 7th. With the addition of BMW, Cadillac, Jaguar, Mercedes, and Porsche Lexus to Domination Inc., I am quite confident we will hit our target objective.

“Domination Inc. also announces the formal releases of Daisy Cutter-Bomb, and Mia Margarita. Mr. McMann says: “Unfortunately, both women were not performing up to standard in reaching our corporate objectives. We wish them well in their future endeavors.”

“About Domination Inc.: Domination Inc. is a consortium of wrestlers dedicated to making the group the elite in Political Championship Wrestling. Our mission statement is simple: Domination Inc. will facilitate the takeover of PCW by any and all means available to us.”

———–

Progressive Alliance personality Al Franken arrives outside the arena with P.A. Executive Director Tim Kaine. Franken smiles until he’s attacked from the air by Norm Coleman leaping from the roof of a car. Coleman slams Franken’s head into the driver’s side car window and shatters the glass. Kaine whaps Coleman with his briefcase. Newly hired American Patriots Leader Eric Cantor flies in and tackles Kaine.

PCW Security Director Dawn McGill arrives on scene and throws Coleman to the ground. Cantor gets in her face and receives a four inch stiletto heel to the groin from McGill.

Back inside, PCW CEO Barack Obama is in the ring and furious at Coleman’s attack. Obama gets ready to lay down the law when PCW Owner Bubba Jackson makes a surprise appearance. Jackson takes the microphone and states he’s tired of Coleman and Franken dragging this on and on and on. Jackson: “I could make a ruling on Coleman’s appeal to me but I think I have a better idea. Next week on PCW on P-SPAN, we will have in our main event Norm Coleman of the American Patriots versus Al Franken of the Progressive Alliance to settle their differences once and for all in a Hardcore Barbed Wire Deathmatch!”

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Match #2 Cadillac (Domination Inc.) vs. Richard Headd of Guys With Unfortunate First Names Given Their Last Name (Dr. Bill’s Island of Misfit Wrestlers)- no match. Jaguar immediately attacks Headd before the bell. Dr. Bill and the rest of the Island of Misfit Wrestlers run in to help but Dr. Bill holds SNAFU back and then the pair leave. Domination Inc. hits the ring en force and destroy the Island of Misfit Wrestlers before PCW Security Director Dawn McGill makes her third appearance of the night to chase them off.

Backstage, PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein asks Dr. Bill why he turned his back on the Island of Misfit Wrestlers. Dr. Bill’s response: “Failure is no accident. You cannot be who and what you are unless you have a lifestyle, both internally and externally, that is designed to support that definition of self. I tried to raise up the Island of Misfit Wrestlers. I did the best I could. But in the end, a defining moment is much like a burn. If you lean up against a hot stove, in less than a second the event is over. But the pain can last for weeks, months. The Island of Misfit Wrestlers have to learn from these tough moments and it will make them better.” Dr. Bill then added that he wants to refocus his energies on making SNAFU the next PCW Television Champion.

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Nancy Pelosi of the Progressive Alliance and the president of the PCW Competition Committee walks to the ring and calls out PCW Women’s Champion ‘Extreme Political TV’ Tessa Martin. Tessa comes out to the ring.

A quick review of Pelosi’s statement from Friday’s PCW Newsline:

NANCY PELOSI (Progressive Alliance) CALLS THE AMERICAN HEARTLAND COALITION ‘EXTREMISTS’
“After PCW Women’s Champion ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin and the newly minted American Heartland Coalition disrupted Nancy Pelosi’s grand plan to punish Blue Dog D and RINO-Republican in Name Only for locking the Angry Left Wing Bloggers in a room and make them listen to music from Barney the Dinosaur, Pelosi had this to say about the group’s effort: “This initiative is funded by the high end; we call it AstroTurf, it’s not really a grass-roots movement. It’s AstroTurf by some of the wealthiest people in America to keep the focus on tax cuts for the rich instead of for the great middle class.”

When asked to expound on her comments: Pelosi’s lieutenants passed out a document that stated that the American Heartland Coalition wasn’t ‘all about average citizens.’ The document goes on to accuse the AHC of harboring extremist elements such as sucessionists and racists, pointing out the ‘Raving Rednecks’ Locke and Loade as one example.

For her part, Tessa Martin would not dignify Ms. Pelosi’s remark with a response. Martin’s only statement was that she would respond in kind in the ring Sunday night on PCW on P-SPAN.”

Pelosi tells her that the PCW Competition Committee voted to make her defend the PCW Women’s title tonight in a three-way dance against Emily List and Code Pink of the Progressive Alliance. Tessa: “You’re no better than the American Patriots or Domination Inc. Bring it on, bitch.”

Main Event for the PCW Women’s Title: ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin (American Heartland Coalition) vs. Emily List (Progressive Alliance) vs. Code Pink (Progressive Alliance)
Emily List and Code Pink doubleteam Tessa and the match quickly becomes a two on one beatdown. A double pin attempt gets broken up by American Heartland Coalition member Tequila Sheila. Then, Kathryn Randall Collins (Progressive Alliance) hits the ring and it becomes a three on two beatdown. Another pin attempt- another run-in. This time, it’s Politically Incorrect- Princess of Political Incorrectness Andrea Doria with Al Cahall and Nic Koteen who makes the save.

Pelosi climbs into the ring with a steel folding chair and sneaks behind Tessa. Tessa turns around and sees her. KRC rushes at the Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl, Tessa sidesteps KRC’s charge and Pelosi gets crunched in the corner. This brings out both the Angry Left Wing Bloggers (Daily Kos, Media Matters, Eric Alterman, and Paul Krugman) and Domination Inc. But before either group can make it to the ring, they end up brawling outside the ring with each other. In the chaos, Tessa Pizza Cutters Emily List and grabs the pin.

Winner and still PCW Women’s Champion: ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin

Post match: Andrea Doria gets on the microphone and announces that Politically Incorrect will join the American Heartland Coalition.

Then a shocking sight, former Domination Inc. member Daisy Cutter-Bomb (also former member of the Three Amigas with Tessa Martin and Tequila Sheila ) sheepishly walks out to the ring. A replay is shown of Daisy being kicked out of Domination Inc. last week. Another replay is shown of Daisy turning on Tessa last year and helping Kathryn Randall Collins become the number one contender for the PCW Women’s Title.

Daisy asks if she can also join the American Heartland Coalition. Tessa and Tequila Sheila both just look upon her in disgust and walk away.

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Other stories about:
Al Franken and Norm Coleman: CNN, PA Pundits, Broadcatching, Underground Conservative, ZZZlist, Past in Print Weblog, Trader Aaron’s Weblog, Thanks for Participating, Ribbie’s Weblog, The Zoo, Half Ninja, Noelism Wisdom,

Nancy Pelosi: Emails to the President, Wonderland Wire, Howie Rich’s Blog, Roger Hollander, American Catholic, Democratic-Socialist Views,

Huffington Post, ..   ..