PCW Rewind: 2008 Drama in Des Moines

PCW “DRAMA IN DES MOINES”- JAN. 3RD, 2008
Results from Des Moines, IA.

The results from first ever PCW Road Show Across America Tour show last night in Des Moines, IA.

The crowd chants, “PCW…PCW…PCW” as Charlene Ann Beckworth comes out and welcomes everyone to PCW’s first show away from the Northwest Ohio, Southeast Michigan area.

MATCH #1- ‘The Queen of Political Extreme’ Ann Coulter (American Patriots) vs. ‘Trailer Park Honey’ Tanya Hardy (Independent)
Hardy was by herself as the remaining members of her White Trash Posse, Jeff and Shane, mourned the death of Shawn. Coulter gets the win by submission when she gets Hardy in an abdominal stretch and starts screeching at her. After five minutes of listening to Coulter rant on and on and on and on and on about liberals and how they’re ruining the country, Hardy finally taps out.

Post match, Music Diva Barbra Streisand runs in and attacks Coulter from behind. She gets a full nelson on the Queen of Political Extreme and then starts singing which causes Coulter and everyone else in the building to pass out. Streisand then leaves and tells the crowd ‘don’t look at me, I’m a star’ as she walks by.

MATCH #2- Halitosis (Independent) vs. Dr. Ivan Rectum-Fighting Proctologist (Independent)
Two old BCEW favorites hook up as the Fighting Proctologist wrestles the Luchador with lethally bad breath. Dr. Rectum wears a mask over his mouth to prevent Halitosis from delivering the ‘breath of death.’ Halitosis breaks out some fine Lucha Libre moves while Dr. Rectum waits for a chance to snap on the ‘Rubber Glove of Justice.’ Halitosis finally slides down Rectum’s mask and hits him with a full blast of his breath. No human can withstand the full brunt of Halitosis’s breath and the lethal Luchador wins the match.

MATCH #3- FUBAR and Dave “The Elk” Elkins (Independent/American Patriots) vs. Corporate World (Richard Emerson Brantley III and Bradley Scott Wilson) with Coach Bobby Petrino (American Patriots)
FUBAR was originally upset with The Elk for paying Coach Petrino more money to manage him. Then Corporate World came along and offered Petrino even more money to manage them. FUBAR and The Elk then joined forces against the snooty upscalers. Corporate World dominates the early part of the match. Coach Petrino even gets in a couple cheap shots. FUBAR jumps in and rallies. Elkins calls for his driver. FUBAR tosses it to him and he clubs Brantley III over the head with it. Wilson calls Coach Petrino for help, but he’s already accepted another offer with a rival wrestling federation and left. The Elk delivers a driver to the genitals- a double ball shot so extreme that no trick golfer would ever consider doing it. Match over.

MATCH #4- The Green World Order (GreenPete and Vegan Brock Cole Lee) with Peta from PETA and PeaceNick (Progressive Alliance) vs. Ron Paul’s New Libertarian Army (A. Tom Bomb and Hy Drogen Bomb) with Newt Tron Bomb and Daisy Cutter-Bomb (American Patriots)
The crowd chants: “RON-PAUL! (clap-clap) RON-PAUL! (clap-clap). Ron Paul’s group take it to a new political extreme as A-Bomb and H-Bomb immediately attack GreenPete and Brock Cole Lee and all four men end up brawling all over the building using chairs, putting each other through tables, and using every weapon at their disposal. Appalled at the extreme carnage and violence, PeaceNick climbs in the ring to protest. Newt Tron Bomb gets annoyed and takes his placard away and pushes him down. N-Bomb then turns with his ass in PeaceNick’s face and delivers the devastating ‘ Silent But Deadly.’ Peta from PETA then jumps in and kicks N-Bomb in the groin. Finally Daisy Cutter-Bomb joins in and takes Peta out with a breathtaking ‘Daisy Cutter Power Bomb.’

The Angry Left Wing Bloggers (Daily Kos, Media Matters For America, Eric Alterman, and NY Times Columnist Paul Krugman) rush out and quadruple team A-Bomb and N-Bomb. Ron Paul comes to their rescue but the Bloggers fight him off. Politically Incorrect (Nic Koteen and Al Cahall) comes in to help the New Libertarian Army even the odds. Daisy Cutter-Bomb hops out of the ring to help but gets blindsided by a revived Peta from PETA. Peta then jumps on Daisy’s back and knocks her out with chloroform. Taking it even further to the extreme, Peta handcuffs Daisy wrists around the turnbuckle and starts to whack away at her back with a Singapore cane. PeaceNick, of course, is horrified and begins to protest.

Def Leppard’s ‘Rock, Rock til You Drop blares and out comes the Extreme Equalizer, Whiskey Tango Foxtrot. WTF takes the cane away from Peta and starts to use it on the Angry Left Wing Bloggers. A-Bomb and H-Bomb drag GreenPete and Brock Cole Lee back to the ring and N-Bomb sets up tables. A-Bomb destroys GreenPete with an Atomic Power Bomb through the one table; H-Bomb plants Brock Cole Lee through the other. WTF and Politically Incorrect keep the Angry Left Wing Bloggers at bay. Ron Paul’s New Libertarian Army gets the win.

MATCH #5 PCW Non-Title Match- PCW Champion Justin Sufferable (Progressive Alliance) vs. Triple R-Road Rage Randy with Arianna Huffington (Progressive Alliance)
Triple R grabs the microphone from Charlene Ann Beckworth and tells the crowd that the only reason he’s back in PCW is to recover what’s rightfully his- the PCW title. He demands that Sufferable make their match for the title. Sufferable retorts that he may be ‘insufferable’ but Triple R takes it to a whole different level. Arianna then comes on and whines that the Progressive Alliance owe it to Triple R to let him have a title shot. “YEE-AHHHHHHH!” The ‘American Screamer’ Howard Dean comes out. It is four years to the day that Dean got his nickname after his frenetically paced recitation of all fifty American states cumulating with a hearty “YEE-AHHHHHHH!” Dean tells Triple R that no one walks back into PCW and automatically gets a title shot. Triple R fumes and the match begins.

As usual, Triple R is uber aggressive and takes the fight to the champion. The match is fast paced and goes back and forth. Sufferable gains the upper hand late and then Arianna sneaks in and blows blinding powder into the champ’s eyes. Sufferable can’t see and Triple R gets ready to drill him with a steel-folding chair. Then former PCW champion, Independent Chris Escondido, who’s been out for over a year after major knee surgery from an injury caused by an attack by Triple R. Escondido swips the chair away from Triple R and whacks him between the eyes. Escondido puts a figure four leg lock on Triple R and cinches it in good. Triple R screams. Arianna tries to come with more powder and this time, inadvertently blows it in Triple R’s eyes. Sufferable regains his sight and gets the pin.

MATCH #6- Big Oil w/Texas Tex and Mitt Romney, Starz N. Stripes w/ John McCain, Kirk Walstreit w/Fred Thompson, Rev. Robertson of the God Squad w/Rudy Giuliani, and ???????? w/Mike Huckabee and Chuck Norris in an American Patriot five man gauntlet match.
The first of the two main events of the night. This is a rematch from last week’s BCEW’s Christmas Extravaganza. Mike Huckabee takes the microphone and again announces that he wishes Chuck Norris could compete for him tonight but it wouldn’t be fair to everyone else. So he brings out his wrestler for the evening. To everyone’s surprise, it’s ‘Everyman’ Mike the Mechanic. Last week on at the Christmas Extravaganza, Mike the Mechanic gained revenge on Big Oil by costing him the five-way match and stealing back his girl- Sheila the Secretary.

Before the rest of the contestants come to the ring, a huge fracas erupts. Big Oil heaves Starz N. Stripes out into the aisle way and stomps away at his knee. By the time he’s done, Starz can barely walk. The match starts and Starz slowly limps towards the ring. Kirk Walstreit- Wall Street Market Analyst who has a man crush on ESPN’s Kirk Herbsteit immediately goes after Mike the Mechanic. Big Oil starts throwing his weight around and then zeros in on Mike the Mechanic. Starz somehow manages to hang in under tough circumstances and Rev. Robertson stays back and lets the action unfold. Halfway through the match, Ron Paul delights his rabid core of fans by leading his New Libertarian Army (A-Bomb and H-Bomb) to the ring and injecting themselves into the match. All hell breaks loose, Rev. Robertson is one of the early casualties and is eliminated. Big Oil catches A-Bomb and chokeslams him out of the ring and through a table. Fred Thompson cheers on as Walstreit plasters his prized picture of Kirk Herbstreit over H-Bomb’s head and Starz throws him out.

The pain to Starz’s knee is too much and he’s the next one to go. Senator McCain helps him to the back and vows revenge next Tuesday in New Hampshire. Big Oil eliminates Walstreit and then it’s him and Mike the Mechanic. Mitt Romney and Texas celebrate as Big Oil delivers some big power moves and Mike the Mechanic is in trouble. The big guy is about to set him up for the ‘Oklahoma Driller’ when Chuck Norris climbs on the apron and gets in Big Oil’s face. Both men stare each other down while Sheila slips a set of jumper cables to Mike the Mechanic. Mike zaps Big Oil with the cables and wins the match with a little distraction from Chuck Norris.

Mike Huckabee, Mike the Mechanic, and the everpresent Chuck Norris stand tall in the ring after the match.

MATCH #7 PCW Women’s Non-Title Match- PCW Women’s champion “Media Empress” Opal Winfree w/her flock (Soccer Mom and New Age Sensitive Guy) and ‘The Natural’ Barack Obama, Kathryn Randall Collins (KRC) with Hillary Clinton, and PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl Tessa Martin with John Edwards in a Progressive Alliance three-way dance
The second main event of the night. Collins and Winfree met last week at the Christmas Extravaganza. John Edwards enlists the Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl Tessa Martin to his cause and makes this a three-way dance. Winfree and Collins tear into each other again with Martin occasionally joining in. Opal’s flock (Soccer Mom and New Age Sensitive Guy) make their presence known by constantly taking cheap shots at both KRC and Martin. Winfree and the Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl finally get on the same page and double-team Collins. Hillary turns and waves for help and out comes the Clinton Political Pitbulls (James Carville, Terry McAuliffe, and Sidney Blumenthal). Carville and McAuliffe pull the legs out from under Winfree and drag her out of the ring. Soccer Mom and New Age Sensitive Guy also get tossed out by the Political Pitbulls.

Barack and Edwards jump in and battle with McAuliffe and Blumenthal. On the outside, Hillary grabs a chair and waffles Opal with it. Then Carville drags her over to a table and drapes the Media Empress across it. Barack and Edwards get the upper hand on the Pitbulls and then out of the blue, to everyone’s shock, Bill Clinton runs out. Clinton and McAuliffe double team Edwards near a corner turnbuckle. KRC, after beating down the BCEW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl, Tessa Martin, climbs up on the turnbuckle and prepares to jump and put Opal through a table outside the ring. Clinton throws himself against the ropes and slingshots himself across the ring to send Edwards out. Joe Biden, Christopher Dodd, and Bill Richardson race to the ring and pull Edwards out of the way. Clinton hits the turnbuckle and causes KRC to lose her balance and crotch herself on the ropes. She falls backwards with her legs draped over the top tying herself in the tree of woe. Biden, Dodd, and Richardson attack all three Political Pitbulls. Tessa Martin grabs a steel-folding chair and skateboards it into KRC’s face in the corner. KRC topples over and the Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl eliminates her.

Both Bill and Hillary are in shock. Biden, Dodd, and Richardson brawl with Political Pitbulls Carville, McAuliffe, and Blumenthal back up the ramp. Soccer Mom gets back in the ring and shouts ‘It’s for the children’ as she takes a chair and nails Tessa Martin with it. Opal revives and wins the match.

Barack Obama holds up Opal’s hand in victory.

The next stop in the PCW Road Show Across America will be January 8th at “Mayhem at Manchester” in Manchester, New Hampshire.

PCW on Attack Watch: PCW Week in Review

Thursday night on PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN
PCW CEO Barack Obama’s office
One half of the Political Pitbulls, James Carville (D-LA), is halfway out the door.

Carville: “…if you want to save your job, this is what you should do.  Fire somebody. No – fire a lot of people,  really.  Do it now.  Before it’s too late.”

End of PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN
Attack Watch comes out and gets in the ring with Blackwell.  Blackwell, backed by his Les Miserables, doesn’t back down.  Attack Watch smiles and attacks Blackwell.  The Les Miserables try to help but Attack Watch swats them away and then tosses them out of the ring.  Blackwell gets rammed headfirst into the corner turnbuckle and he’s woozy.  Attack Watch then whips him across the ring headfirst into the other corner turnbuckle.

This brings out ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido.  Escondido and AW trade punches.  AW kicks Escondido in the groin and then piledrives him.

This brings out Blackwell’s wife, Kenzie.  She pulls Escondido out of the ring and then tries to pull Charlie out.  Attack Watch stops her.  She yells at him and he pulls Kenzie into the ring.   Attack Watch lifts her over his shoulder…JACK KNIFE POWERBOMB!

McGillicutty is livid and starts shouting at AW to stop.  She then takes off running when Attack Watch comes towards her and that’s where the show ends.

Obama for PCW 2012 field director Jeremy Bird states that the goal is to fight back against attacks from GOP presidential contenders Mitt Romney and Rick Perry and conservative commentator Glenn Beck.   Bird adds Attack Watch is here in PCW to “support the truth” and “fight the smears.”  When asked if that meant taking out PCW TV commentator Johnny Suave,  Beck, ‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin, Independent Charlie Blackwell, ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido, and Blackwell’s wife Kenzie?, Bird deferred to deputy press secretary Katie Hogan who said, “Attack Watch is a tool providing our supporters with the vehicle they need to fight back against lies and distortions about PCW CEO’s record.”

The card for PCW Lock and Load next week:
First round matches in PCW Lock and Load tournament
Daniel-San (I) w/Mrs. Miyagi vs. PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka (D)
‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R) vs. ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D)

PCW Women’s Tag Team Title Match
PCW Women’s Tag Team Champions Merchants of Death: Angel Scott and Angel Casey (R) vs. TBA

PCW Tag Team Title Match
PCW Tag Team Champions The Schmidt Brothers: Jack and Joe (R) vs TBA

PCW King of Extreme Title Match
PCW King of Extreme Champion Keith Olbermann (D) vs. The Queen of Political Extreme Ann Coulter (R)

PCW Women’s Title Match
PCW Women’s Champion Callie Urban (D) vs. PCW’s Queen of Extreme Valora Salinas (I)

PCW Title Match
TBA vs. TBA

After being left out in the cold by the retirement of the PCW Television title belt and denied an automatic entry into the Lock and Load Tournament, Daniel-San (I) took matters into his own hands and won his way into the tournament by defeating both of Paul Ryan’s Raiders: Nick Ray and Kevin Collins (R) and Triple R (D) Monday night.

Daniel-San faces the reigning PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka (D) in the first match of the night.  Tanaka is wrestling in his final PCW show before heading back to Japan.  A quick retrospective of the career of Yamamoto Tanaka in PCW:

First, Tanaka’s first title win…

Tanaka had been on the trail of ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism for several weeks before scoring a three-way match for the title along with Khalid-El.  After the Iranian was dispatched, Tanaka destroyed Chism to win the PCW Title.

Suave: “Tanaka’s first title reign would be surprisingly short thanks to a boycott of PCW’s Kingman, Arizona house show by the Democrats over Arizona’s enaction of a controversial immigration law.  Tanaka no-showed the event and under PCW rules he forfeited the title to Average Joe.”

Tanaka’s second title win…

Tanaka regained the PCW Title at Loose Cannons Unleashed 6 in an epic battle with Average Joe that lasted 11 hours and three days.

Suave: PCW Extreme Election Night 2010, the phenomenon known as Jill- Berg got her shot against Tanaka for the PCW title.  Tanaka came out for the match looking as if he’d been hit by a truck.   It was clear from the outset that something had taken place in the back before the match from the sluggish manner Tanaka moved in the ring.   Berg won in 41 seconds.  Then Triple R (D) and ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) both came out and took responsibility for the attack on Tanaka to get him out the way so one of them could win the PCW Title.

Tanaka’s third title win…

March 27, 2011 – In a wild match, Tanaka defeated Kevin Scott at PCW Weapons of Mass Political Destruction to become a three time PCW Champion.

Replay: Monday night:
California Teachers Union: ‘The Foul Pole’ Andy Golatta/Malibu Dusty (D) vs. Charlie Blackwell/’No Frills’ Chris Escondido (I)
…Escondido in control with a Boston Crab on Malibu Dusty.  Then two men rush the ring and assault Blackwell and Escondido.

Suave: “HOLY CRAP!  It’s the Longshoremen, Pete and Russell, from Longview, Washington.  We knew they were coming to PCW but not this soon!”

Malibu Dusty rolls Escondido over and gets the easy pinfall.

Corporate Might:  Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit (R) vs. Big Labor/Triple R (D).
This one never got started.  The Longshoremen (D) came back out again and attacked Big Oil and Walstreit.  After what went down with Independents Blackwell and Escondido earlier,  the entire Republican roster came out to take them on and it was just a bloody chaotic mess.

Suave states that now the PCW Competition Committee will have to decide how to handle this.

The PCW Competition Committee has made their decision and it will be a three way dance Monday night for the #1 contender’s spot and a shot at the PCW Tag Team title at Lock and Load next week.  So Monday night’s main event will be:

California Teachers Union: ‘The Foul Pole’ Andy Golatta/Malibu Dusty (D) vs. Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit (R) vs. Big Labor/Triple R (D)

The match may come down to the interference of the Longshoremen (D) who arrived in PCW with the same subtlety that Attack Watch did Thursday night…

BACKSTAGE
PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein tries to interview The Longshoremen.  Bernstein barely gets a word out and Russell and Pete attack him with f-bombs and other unpleasantries.  Finally, they lift Bernstein and give him the ‘ShipWreck’ on the floor and leave.

Other News:

1) Two wins for Republicans:
Bob Turner (R-NY) vs. David Weprin (D-NY)
Turner controlled the match for most of the way.  The finish came when…

…Weprin looking for a top rope powerbomb…Turner turns it into a top rope Frankensteiner for the pin…1…2…3.

Kate Marshall (D-NV) vs. Mark Amodei (R-NV)
This one wasn’t even close…

…Marshall walks over to Amodei and slaps him.   Amodei slaps on the sleeper hold.  The ref checks on Marshall!  He checks the arm! Once…twice…three times it falls.  He calls for the bell.

2) ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R) reaffirmed his #1 Republican status
Scott also helped give Mitt Romney (R-MA) a boost.

Monday night during the Republican Rumble in Tampa
Scott vs. Texas Jack…again.   Back and forth.  Texas Jack to the top!  Scott stops him and gets a chair.  He smashes Jack with the chair, cover for 2.   Texas Jack gets a hold of the chair and blasts Scott with it.  Scott’s busted open.  Jack takes some of Scott’s blood and paints it on his face and chest war-paint style.  Jack with the chair again, swings, misses, and gets the ref instead.  Jack drills Scott with the chair again.  He goes for the pin…no ref! Jack covers again as ref is now up.  Scott kicks out.  They trade near falls and rollups before Jack gets caught in the American Stars and Fujiwama Arm Bar.  Jack passes out and gives Scott the win.

Tuesday Night at a PCW house show
…Texas Jack goes to the top, but Huntsman runs over and hits him with a campaign placard. Texas Jack no sells, does the 450 splash anyway.   Perry pulls Huntsman on Walker and Texas Jack hits both.   Texas Jack spears Walker through a table in the corner.   Cover…1…2…3.

3) The Mercenaries: Dawn McGill and Svetlana Kovalevski (I) aim for title
McGill and Kovalevski took a big step forward towards a PCW Women’s Tag Team title shot after defeating two other teams Thursday night.

…McGill and Kovalevski tie Code Pink to the TREE OF WOE and put a chair in front of her face.   Double baseball slide into the chair and Pink topples off the turnbuckle.

James and Rowe set Emily List up for…THE TARANTULA!  Rowe flips over the top rope and locks it in.   McGill covers Pink…1…2…3.  Women For Women Eliminated.

Chaos everywhere.  Kovalevski goes for top rope stunner.  Reversed by James.   James for her finisher…but Kovalevski grabs her…TWO HANDED FACE CLAW!  Rowe in the ring.  McGill tackles her…KATAHAJIME!  James taps.

PCW Rankings

PCW WORLD CHAMPION: ‘The Japanese SuperDestroyer’ Yamamoto Tanaka (D)
PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION: Callie Urban (D)
PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Jack and Joe Schmidt (R-Libertarian)
PCW WOMEN’S TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Merchants of Death: Angel Scott and Angel Casey (R)

SINGLES CONTENDERS:
#1- ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R)
#2- O’Beck Bahama (D)
#3- Daniel-San (I)
#4- Texas Jack (R)
#5- Charlie Blackwell (I)

TAG TEAM CONTENDERS:
#1- California Teachers Union: ‘The Foul Pole’ Andy Golatta/Malibu Dusty (D)
#2- Corporate Might:  Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit (R)
#3- Big Labor/Triple R (D)
#4- Charlie Blackwell/’No Frills’ Chris Escondido (I)
#5- Paul Ryan’s Raiders: Nick Ray and Kevin Collins (R)

WOMEN’S CONTENDERS:
#1- Kathryn Randall Collins (D)
#2- Sarah Mae Smith (R)
#3- Valora Salinas (I)
#4- Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (R)
#5- Jackie Daniels (I)

PCW WOMEN’S TAG TEAM CONTENDERS:
#1- The Korver Sisters: Kelly and Korey Korver (D)
#2- The Triple Threat: ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas and Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (R)
#3- The Mercenaries: Dawn McGill and Svetlana Kovalevski (I)
#4- Women For Women: Code Pink and Emily List (D)
#5- The Pinups: Sabrina James and Alicia Rowe (I)

PCW KING OF EXTREME CHAMPION: Keith Olbermann (D)
#1- ‘The Queen of Political Extreme’ Ann Coulter (R)
#2- Glenn Beck (R)
#3-  Ed Schultz (D)
#4- Andrew Breitbart (R)
#5- Janeane Garofalo (D)

Attack Watch…Attacks!: 9/15-PCW Politics Is War on P-SPAN

PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN (2 hrs)
Emlenton Civic Center
Emlenton, PA
Thursday September 15th, 2011
Host: Johnny Suave

Crowd: “PCW…PCW…PCW…”

Suave starts to introduce tonight’s show but all hell breaks loose backstage.

BACKSTAGE
Todd Palin flings Joe McGinniss, author of the upcoming biopic ‘The Rogue’- about his wife Sarah Palin, into the wall.  McGinniss is already busted wide open.  Palin then whips McGinniss into the opposite wall.   Palin tells him to stop stalking his family.  Then he picks up a steel chair and blasts him over the head with it.  Palin shouts at him that he has a creepy obsession with his wife- ‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin.  Palin pulls him up by the hair and throws him back at the other wall.

Finally, security and PCW personnel rush in and move Palin away.

Suave: “When the New York Times pans your conservative hit job book, you know you’ve got problems.”

Suave sends it to the ring.

MATCH #1
The Mercenaries: Dawn McGill and Svetlana Kovalevski (I) vs.
Women For Women: Code Pink and Emily List (D) vs. The Pinups: Sabrina James and Alicia Rowe (I)

Code Pink and List blast McGill and Kovalevski for coming to the ring wearing Army fatigues.   Then they criticize The Pinups for their ring attire which ‘promotes the objectification of women by men.’

McGill and Kovalevski looks at James and Rowe…they nod…and then they attack Women for Women.

…McGill and Kovalevski tie Code Pink to the TREE OF WOE and put a chair in front of her face.   Double baseball slide into the chair and Pink topples off the turnbuckle.

James and Rowe set Emily List up for…THE TARANTULA!  Rowe flips over the top rope and locks it in.   McGill covers Pink…1…2…3.  Women For Women Eliminated.

Chaos everywhere.  Kovalevski goes for top rope stunner.  Reversed by James.   James for her finisher…but Kovalevski grabs her…TWO HANDED FACE CLAW!  Rowe in the ring.  McGill tackles her…KATAHAJIME!  James taps.

WINNER: The Mercenaries (I) @ 8:36

Suave thinks the Mercenaries are gearing up for a title shot at PCW Lock and Load.

PCW CEO Barack Obama’s office
One half of the Political Pitbulls, James Carville (D-LA), is halfway out the door.

Carville: “…if you want to save your job, this is what you should do.  Fire somebody. No – fire a lot of people,  really.  Do it now.  Before it’s too late.”

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Suave reviews two matches that took place Tuesday night at a PCW house show…

Bob Turner (R-NY) vs. David Weprin (D-NY)
Turner controlled the match for most of the way.  The finish came when…

…Weprin looking for a top rope powerbomb…Turner turns it into a top rope Frankensteiner for the pin…1…2…3.  

WINNER: Bob Turner (R-NY) @ 8:25

Kate Marshall (D-NV) vs. Mark Amodei (R-NV)
This one wasn’t even close…

…Marshall walks over to Amodei and slaps him.   Amodei slaps on the sleeper hold.  The ref checks on Marshall!  He checks the arm! Once…twice…three times it falls.  He calls for the bell.

WINNER: Mark Amodei (R-NV) @ 1:01

Suave notes it’s been a tough week for the Democrats.

BACKSTAGE
Paige McGillicuty, subbing for PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein after he was assaulted by The Longshoremen (D) Monday night on PCW Extreme Political TV, talks with Henry Waxman (D-CA).

Waxman said the Democrats would be back.  “The Republicans want us to repeal the 20th century, the New Deal, the Fair Deal, to turn us back to the robber barons running the country, and to eviscerate the environmental and other regulations to protect public health and safety.  And to cut spending in ways that would be very harmful to people who rely on government.”

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Howard Schultz (the CEO of Starbucks) in the ring.  Schultz pledges no donations until PCW has a bipartisan financial-security plan and a commitment to accelerating job growth.  He wants to know if anyone else will sign that pledge too?

Schultz:  “Why would I turn to activism? Because, like so many Americans, I’m outraged. Four billion dollars was spent during the 2008 election cycle, and an estimated $5.5 billion will be spent for 2012. Meanwhile, people are out of work, the economy continues to flounder, and nothing’s getting done in Washington. This is no longer a crisis of leadership. It’s an emergency. The lack of cooperation and irresponsibility among our officials today, as they have put partisan agendas before the people’s agenda, is stunning and outrageous. Just think about what all that campaign money could do for the education system, for the social services that our politicians are poised to cut. Just think about how petty bickering in the halls of Congress has degraded the brand reputation of PCW around the world. This might be the leadership we have come to expect, but it’s not what we deserve.”

MATCH #2
Texas Jack (R) w/Rick Perry (R-TX) vs. Jamie Walker (R) w/Jon Huntsman (R-UT)

-Texas Jack looking to bounce back from his first PCW loss.  Walker is just looking for a win, period.  It’s not looking good for both Walker and his benefactor Jon Huntsman right now.

…Texas Jack goes to the top, but Huntsman runs over and hits him with a campaign placard. Texas Jack no sells, does the 450 splash anyway.   Perry pulls Huntsman on Walker and Texas Jack hits both.   Texas Jack spears Walker through a table in the corner.   Cover…1…2…3.

WINNER: Texas Jack @ 4:17

Perry holds Texas Jack’s arm up in the air.  The Perry contingent in the crowd start to chant: “We got Jesus (clap, clap, clap-clap-clap)  We got Jesus (clap, clap, clap-clap-clap).”

BACKSTAGE
Paige McGillicutty is with some guy dressed in red and black.  ‘AW’ is stenciled across the front of his shirt.  Paige asks him who he is.

The man answers that he is…

Attack Watch: “Get the facts. Fight the smears . . . and help stop the attacks on PCW CEO Barack Obama before they start.”

McGillicutty is speechless.

Suave: “Paige, ask him this.  Someone should let the Obama folks know that there’s a wacky group out there trying to portray PCW CEO Barack Obama as some paranoid delusional petulant narcissist by claiming he’s launched a website named “AttackWatch”.

Angry, Attack Watch walks away from McGillicutty.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Suave starts to introduce hour number two when he’s violently yanked out of his chair by Attack Watch.  AW decks Suave with a wicked right hand and drags him up to the ring apron.  He places Suave in the piledriver position- head between his knees, and piledrives him through the broadcast table.

Attack Watch climbs into the ring and warns everyone that from this point forward, any attempt to besmirch the good name of the PCW CEO will be met with the same force he used to put Suave through the table.

Attack Watch: “Join me- and stop the attacks on PCW CEO Obama before they start.”

The PCW Clean Up Crew and medical personnel rush to Suave’s aid.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Suave gets stretchered out.

BACKSTAGE
Attack Watch has Glenn Beck (R) up in the air with a double handed choke.   He slams him through a food table causing an explosion of flying food.

Paige McGillicutty comes out and takes over the announcing duties.  She notes that the next match was taped Monday night after PCW Extreme Political TV went off the air.

MATCH #3
REPUBLICAN RUMBLE from Tampa, Florida
’Pizza Delivery Guy’ Josh Jackson- representing Herman Cain
’American Citizen’ Kevin Scott- representing Mitt Romney
Jack Schmidt- representing Ron Paul
Texas Jack- representing Rick Perry
Dann Armey- representing Rick Santorum
Average Joe- representing Michele Bachmann
Brad Company- representing Newt Gingrich
Jamie Walker- representing Jon Huntsman

Walker quickly eliminated.  Texas Jack spent most of the match fending off challengers.  Dann Armey was the next to go.  Then Brad Company and ‘Pizza Delivery Guy’ Josh Jackson.

Michele Bachmann up on the ring apron with a 2 x 4.  She tries to take Texas Jack out.  Jack ducks and Bachmann clobbers her own wrestler, Average Joe of the Tea Party, instead.    Texas Jack heaves Average Joe over the top and he’s gone.

Down to Jack Schmidt (Ron Paul), ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (Mitt Romney), and Texas Jack (Rick Perry).   Schmidt suplexes Scott onto a ladder.  Schmidt throws Texas Jack through a table in the corner.  Schmidt goes to throw Texas Jack out.  Scott nails him from behind.  Scott and Texas Jack throw Schmidt through another table- this one outside the ring.   Schmidt’s out.

Scott vs. Texas Jack…again.   Back and forth.  Texas Jack to the top!  Scott stops him and gets a chair.  He smashes Jack with the chair, cover for 2.   Texas Jack gets a hold of the chair and blasts Scott with it.  Scott’s busted open.  Jack takes some of Scott’s blood and paints it on his face and chest war-paint style.  Jack with the chair again, swings, misses, and gets the ref instead.  Jack drills Scott with the chair again.  He goes for the pin…no ref! Jack covers again as ref is now up.  Scott kicks out.  They trade near falls and rollups before Jack gets caught in the American Stars and Fujiwama Arm Bar.  Jack passes out and gives Scott the win.

WINNER: Kevin Scott (R) @ 14:42

Mitt Romney (R-MA) gets in the ring and is very pleased with the results.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

BACKSTAGE
Attack Watch has ‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin (R-AK) up in a double handed choke slam position and puts her through another food table.

McGillicutty can’t believe what she’s seeing.  Then ‘Can You Hear the People Sing?’ from the musical ‘Les Miserables’ plays and Charlie Blackwell (I) limps to the ring.  Blackwell’s bandaged up from the attack on him by The Longshoremen (D-WA) Monday night.

Blackwell: “I know there’s been a lot of concern about how much a candidate ingrains him or herself with the religious right, fundamentalists, and the like. Personally, I’m more concerned about the political correctness left. If there’s truly a threat to your ability to think for yourself and engage in a free form exchange of political ideas, it’s coming from a political correctness movement who want to determine what’s right and wrong according to their agenda.  Hence the appalling violence on those speaking their mind by Attack Watch (D) tonight.  The PC movement is more dangerous simply because many of them are already ingrained in government; the so-called fundamentalists have long since been marginalized.

This ongoing demonization of the Tea Party, by left wing insufferable elitists and collegiate sociologists who have nothing in common with the people they purport to be studying and have their own agenda in mind to push. It’s another stark example of why we can’t have a rational conversation about politics because the purpose is now to conjure up ways of discrediting and destroying your adversary instead of debating ideas back and forth.

98% of people who are part of the Tea Party are fed up not with America itself but a corrupt political culture that’s completely disenfranchised middle America and has done so for the past 25 years. They are fed up with government spending more than what we bring in. They’re fed up with government allowing big money special interest groups to feed at will at the federal trough while middle America can’t keep up with the rising cost of living because thanks to insufferable elitists like Al Gore, who told us NAFTA was a good idea, much of the good paying middle class jobs left the country just like Ross Perot warned they would-”

Attack Watch comes out and gets in the ring with Blackwell.  Blackwell, backed by his Les Miserables, doesn’t back down.  Attack Watch smiles and attacks Blackwell.  The Les Miserables try to help but Attack Watch swats them away and then tosses them out of the ring.  Blackwell gets rammed headfirst into the corner turnbuckle and he’s woozy.  Attack Watch then whips him across the ring headfirst into the other corner turnbuckle.

This brings out ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido.  Escondido and AW trade punches.  AW kicks Escondido in the groin and then piledrives him.

This brings out Blackwell’s wife, Kenzie.  She pulls Escondido out of the ring and then tries to pull Charlie out.  Attack Watch stops her.  She yells at him and he pulls Kenzie into the ring.   Attack Watch lifts her over his shoulder…JACK KNIFE POWERBOMB!

McGillicutty is livid and starts shouting at AW to stop.  She then takes off running when Attack Watch comes towards her and that’s where the show ends.

5/17-PCW on P-SPAN: New TV Champion, More Controversy Brewing Over 2nd KRC/Kalee Jones Match, Obama’s Decision on Tag Team Belts

‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido defends TV Title against SNAFU/Mr. McMann Demands Tag Team Belts Turned Over to Cadillac and Jaguar/KRC vs. Kalee Jones Rematch/PCW CEO Obama’s Decision

———————

Concerto for Trumpet, no. 2 by Johann Melchior Molter (1696-1765) plays as an introduction…

Stuffy Announcer Type: And now, it’s time for Political Championship Wrestling on P-SPAN. Tonight’s program comes to you live from the Bender Arena on the campus of American University in Washington D.C.

Crowd: “PCW…PCW…PCW!” Charlene Ann Beckworth climbs into the ring to announce the first match. Charlene Ann: “Our first match tonight is for the PCW Television Title. On his way to the ring at this time, weighing in at 225 pounds, from Norway, Maine, accompanied by the Dr. Phil wannabe, Dr. Bill, SNAFU!!!” SNAFU comes to the ring.  Charlene Ann: “And his opponent, weighing in at 224 pounds, from Cincinnati, Ohio a member of Progressive Alliance accompanied by Rahm Emanuel he holds the PCW Television Title title belt, ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido!!!” ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido walks to the ring.

MATCH #1 for the PCW Television Title
‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido (c) w/Rahm Emanuel (Progressive Alliance)
vs. SNAFU w/’The Dr. Phil wannabe’ Dr. Bill (Independent)
(ring, ring, ring) They lock up in the middle. Overhead Belly to Belly Suplex by SNAFU. SNAFU bulldog’s Escondido. Escondido drags himself up and tries a Gorilla Press Slam that SNAFU blocks. Escondido throws SNAFU to the floor. Escondido grabs a steel chair and hits SNAFU. SNAFU is busted open. Dr. Bill yells at Escondido but backs down when Rahm Emanuel takes a couple steps towards him.

Escondido DDT’s SNAFU to the floor. Emanuel gets a couple of free shots in before Escondido drags SNAFU back into the ring. Punch to the head by Escondido. Belly to Belly Suplex. Escondido goes for a Vertical suplex- SNAFU blocks it. Escondido kicks SNAFU in the groin and picks up a chair. Chairshot to SNAFU. Escondido climbs the top rope- Dr. Bill sneaks over and crotches the TV champ on the top turnbuckle. SNAFU grabs Escondido and a Belly to Belly Suplexes him from the top rope. Escondido back up, SNAFU clotheslines him back down. Russian leg sweep by SNAFU. Emanuel in. German suplex by SNAFU on Rahm-bo. Dr. Bill throws a chair at Escondido. SNAFU spins around and kicks the chair in his face. SNAFU for the triple jump moonsault…splashes Escondido. SNAFU grabs the chair. Arabian Facebuster. SNAFU covers. One. Two. Three.

WINNER AND NEW PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION: SNAFU

Dr. Bill in the ring and raises the hand of SNAFU.

————————-

PCW NEWSLINE

Domination Inc. Plot Foiled
Well, if Domination Inc. CEO ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann thought his ‘mole’ problems were gone, he was greatly mistaken. At the end of Wednesday night’s PCW Extreme Political TV, PCW Tag Team Champions Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit made a quick exit from the building after declaring that they would NOT drop the Tag Team belts for new Domination Inc. favorites Cadillac and Jaguar. Someone tipped the champions off that Domination Inc. was going to attack them at the end of Wednesday’s show.

Mr. McMann, of course, denied any such plan existed. However, PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein dug out that the genius behind Domination Inc. threw a huge temper tantrum after the show Wednesday night and vowed to get the tag team belts for Cadillac and Jaguar.

———————–

COMMERCIAL TIME:
The E-Wrestling Magazine is the home for all the latest news on e-federations all across the country. Check out all the latest stories on PCW and other great e-federations:

WTF The Blog #4: Aramis Fired, WTF Stars on the Chopping Block. Sunday, 17 May 2009 (/)
Dream wants a few more… Saturday, 16 May 2009 (/)
ICWF Monday Nite Dyn-O-Mite 5/4/09 Results Saturday, 16 May 2009 (/)
SWF – Equal Opportunity Employer Thursday, 14 May 2009 (/)

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*DOMINATION INC.’S MISSION STATEMENT IS THE COMPLETE TAKEOVER OF POLITICAL CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING BY ANY AND ALL MEANS!*

‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann, his Corporate Bodyguard Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, CFO Gordon Guyko, Corporate Legal Felcher and Felcher, Corporate Security Rough Justice: D.B. Ruff and Connor Justice- two former police officers fired for their extreme style of law enforcement, and Cadillac and Jaguar walk to the ring.

McMann: “At this time, I’d like to call out the PCW Tag Team champions Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit.” A few seconds later, the Tag Team champs appear. They slowly walk to the ring with their PCW Tag Team belts slung over their shoulder. McMann: “Gentlemen, I direct you to Domination Inc’s Corporate Counsel- Felcher and Felcher. B Felcher reads from what appears to be a contract. B Felcher: “Clause 17-B in your employment agreement. An Executive of Domination Inc. has the right to relinquish from Domination Inc. employee any title as he or she sees fit.” McMann: “Or in other words, I have the right to make you drop the titles. Therefore, as a duly appointed executive, I declare that Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit have forfeited their titles and that the new PCW Tag Team champions are Cadillac and Jaguar.” Both Cadillac and Jaguar preen for the camera and do the ‘belt around my waist’ gesture.

*flute and clarinet flourish*

Two men come out and unroll a white carpet to the ring steps. Dancers then dance. Ballet dancers…ballet? Little children walk up the white carpet and drop rose petals. Someone lets loose some pigeons…we’re still not sure just how they’ll get out of the building. The crowd stands and lets out a loud ovation as PCW CEO Barack Obama appears with his Aide de Camp Joe Biden by his side and PCW Executive Counsel Eric Holder. McMann smugly watches Obama, Biden, and Holder walk to the ring. McMann: “There’s nothing you can do about it, Obama. I’ve got this covered lock, stock, and barrel.” Holder takes a copy of the contract and starts to read through the document. Obama: “All right. Given the extraordinary nature of what’s going on here. I’m going to ask Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit to leave their belts with Eric Holder. We will review this and I will come back out later tonight to make my ruling.”

Big Oil and Walstreit reluctantly hand the belts to Holder. Big Oil: “McMann. This isn’t over yet…by a longshot.” McMann: “Unfortunately, your tag team title reign is-” The lights go down and Amiee Allen’s ‘Start a Revolution’ starts to play- complete with multi-media presentation…

Ron Paul leads Jack Schett, Bull Schett, Horst Schett, and the Extreme German Schnauzer Hans Gruber aka ‘Ron Paul’s New Libertarian Army’ to the ring. Jack: “Now wait just a minute. We were supposed to have a match tonight to determine the new #1 contender for Tag Team belt. If you think we’re going to sit back and watch these…rookies…get the belt over us then you don’t know Jack Schett.” McMann: “Jack, it’s out of your hands. I have the right per this contract that Big Oil and Walstreit signed off on to name the new PCW Tag Team champions and I intend on doing so tonight.” Bull: “I think that’s Bull Schett!” McMann: “Excuse me?” Bull: “I think that Bull Schett and Jack Schett should be new PCW Tag Team champions.” Obama: “Gentlemen. We will take this contract to the back and review it. Jack and Bull Schett, I’m sorry to say that your match may not take place tonight.”

———————–

COMMERCIAL TIME:
E-Wrestling Torch- E-fed television, pay-per-view, and classic show reviews! Per the E-Wrestling Torch: Ted Calderweller is on vacation and without Internet access at the moment. E-Wrestling Torch will resume operations around May 20.

E-Wrestling Blog- Coming soon, E-Wrestling Blogs first ‘Spotlight Promotion of the Week.’

———————-

PCW NEWSLINE:

More Referee Controversy
PCW CEO Barack Obama’s attempt to defuse the referee controversy over the Kathryn Randall Collins (Progressive Alliance)/Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (SarahPAC) match last Sunday fell apart today when American Patriot Jeff Flake banded together with Progressive Alliance members Paul Hodes and Gabrielle Giffords to demand an inquiry into John Murtha’s nephew and his connection with the referee who called the match. The match was called by the referee after repeated run-ins by the Progressive Alliance that failed to slow down the Eskimo Queen.
The President of the PCW Competition Committee Nancy Pelosi refused comment but, again, PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein found out that Pelosi got together with her Lt. Chris Van Hollen and James Clyburn to block any inquiry of Murtha from taking place.

KRC and Kalee Jones will meet again tonight.

———————–

Charlene Ann Beckworth in the ring to introduce the next match. Charlene Ann: “This match will determine the number one contender for the PCW Women’s Title. On her way to the ring at this time, she weighs in at 204 pounds, from Barrow, Alaska, a member of SarahPAC and accompanied by ‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin, ‘The Eskimo Queen’-Kalee Jones!” The Eskimo Queen and The Alaskan Pitbull climb into the ring. Charlene Ann: “Her opponent is managed by Hillary Clinton and accompanied to the ring by the Clinton Political Pitbulls- James Carville and Paul Begala. Weighing in at 175 pounds, from Chappaqua, New York, a member of Progressive Alliance, Kathryn Randall Collins.” KRC hits the ring. Charlene Ann: “Your referee is Paul Martin Adams.”

MATCH #2 to Determine the #1 Contender for the PCW Women’s Title
Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen w/’The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin (SarahPAC)
vs. Kathryn Randall Collins aka…KRC w/Hillary Clinton and the Clinton Political Pitbulls James Carville and Paul Begala (Progressive Alliance)

(ring, ring, ring) Quick lock up. Whip to the ropes by the Eskimo Queen. Jones bulldogs KRC. Palin slides a chair in the ring. Jones sets it up on KRC and climbs the corner turnbuckle. Big Splash onto the chair! Jones covers. One. Two. KRC gets the shoulder up. Jones with a back fist and sends KRC reeling across the ring. DDT by Jones. Cover. One. Two. Again, KRC gets the shoulder up. Kicks to the leg by Jones drops KRC to the canvas. Jones stomps away. KRC grabs a hold of the ropes and the referee breaks the pair up.

KRC surprises Jones with a headscissors takedown. Whip into the corner. Paul Begala holds Jones and KRC chops away at her midsection. Begala pushes Jones out into a running lariat by KRC. KRC pulls The Eskimo Queen up by the hair and whips her out of the ring. Begala and Carville attack. KRC on the top rope. Palin over and pushes her off the top. Begala and Carville chase Palin and Average Joe and American Trucker run in and hit dual lariats on the Clinton Political Pitbulls. Rahm Emanuel now involved. F-Bomb on Average Joe. F-Bomb on American Trucker. He turns to Palin- Palin has hockey stick up and ready. Emanuel turns and gets kicked in the balls by the Eskimo Queen. Jones lifts Emanuel up…Eskimo Pieface! KRC pulls herself up. Jones lifts her up…Eskimo Pieface! The referee suddenly calls for the bell.

WINNER: NO ONE

Jones is furious. Paul Martin Adams tries to escape. John Murtha runs out and escorts him to the back.

———————-

COMMERCIAL TIME:
The Titan Zone A social network about e-wrestling. Meet and get to know the Titans of the e-wrestling world!

UPCOMING EVENTS: OTHER E-FEDERATIONS:

CCW Lockdown
May 18, 2009 from 7pm to 10:30pm – Izod Center in East Rutherford, NJ CCW Heavyweight Championship “Totally Bored” Hyan Borg versus Tommy Glass Singles Match “The Roughneck” Stan Allen versus “The Element” Alex Cameron Singles Match The Eagle versus “Broadway” Da

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UPCOMING EVENTS @ http://www.politicalwrestling.wordpress.com :
5/20- PCW Extreme Political TV
5/22- PCW Newsline
5/24- PCW on P-SPAN
5/27- PCW Extreme Political TV
5/29- PCW Newsline
5/31- PCW on P-SPAN
6/3- PCW Extreme Political TV
6/5- PCW Newsline
6/7- Political Championship Wrestling Presents: Loose Cannons Unleashed 5

TWITTER:
Check us out at @PCWPolWrestling at Twitter. PCW now has over 400 people following us. Join our merry band of political pirates on Twitter.

—————————-

Janeane Garofalo is in the ring with the Angry Left Wing Bloggers (Daily Kos, Paul Krugman, Jane Hamsher, and Media Matters for America). Garofalo still has a bandage over her forehead.

REPLAY FROM 4/26 PCW ON P-SPAN
‘The Queen of Political Extreme’ Ann Coulter and former PCW Women’s Champion Hallie Burton enter the cage. Coulter grabs Garofalo and handcuffs her to the side of the cage. Suave: “WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? THE QUEEN OF POLITICAL EXTREME ANN COULTER HAS HANDCUFFED JANEANE GAROFALO TO THE CAGE. AND NOW, ARI FLEISCHER AND ANDREW CARD HAVE BROUGHT IN A BARREL FULL OF WATER? AND A BOARD? Oh…no.” Burton pulls Tessa up and drapes her on the board. Perino handcuffs Tessa’s arms behind her back around the board and Fleischer and Card lower her into the water. Suave: “NO! STOP THEM! THAT’S NOT RIGHT!” Lamb: “My God. Are they actually…waterboarding her?” Suave: “WHAT THE HELL DOES IT LOOK LIKE, BRIAN?” Suave jumps on top of the announcer’s table. Suave: “DICK, THIS IS WRONG! STOP IT!” Dick sneers at Suave and has a microphone.

Dick: “Of course you would think that way, Suave. Because you’re weak. You all are weak! When you face an enemy, do you worry about piddly little minute details such as the Geneva Convention?” Coulter takes a steel chair and blasts Garofalo with it. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! SHE’S KNOCKED OUT!”

Garofalo: “Ann Coulter. You. Me. Steel cage match. We’re going to settle this once and for all. You won’t have Dick Cheney or any of his henchmen to help you. It’ll take more than the Geneva Convention to keep me from kicking your ass all over that cage. You got one on me last month. I’m going to get it back in spades on June 7th.”

———————

*flute and clarinet flourish*

Two men come out again and unroll a white carpet to the ring steps. Dancers then dance. Ballet dancers…ballet? Little children walk up the white carpet and drop rose petals. Someone lets loose some pigeons…we’re still not sure just how they’ll get out of the building. The crowd stands and lets out a loud ovation as PCW CEO Barack Obama appears with his Aide de Camp Joe Biden by his side. Eric Holder follows carrying the PCW Tag Team belts.

*DOMINATION INC.’S MISSION STATEMENT IS THE COMPLETE TAKEOVER OF POLITICAL CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING BY ANY AND ALL MEANS!*

Domination Inc. CEO ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann, his Corporate Bodyguard Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, CFO Gordon Guyko, Corporate Security Rough Justice: D.B. Ruff and Connor Justice- two former police officers fired for their extreme style of law enforcement, Corporate Counsel Felcher and Felcher, and Cadillac and Jaguar walk to the ring.

Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit come to the ring last.

Obama: “Gentlemen. Mr. Holder has reviewed the contracts in question and this is what we’ve decided. It is agreed that Mr. McMann has the right contractually to make Big Oil and Walstreit forfeit the PCW Tag Team belts.” Cadillac and Jaguar’s eyes light up. Big Oil and Walstreit wave away the decision and walk to the back. Obama: “However, Mr. McMann’s contract does not supersede PCW by-laws. Therefore, I declare the title vacant and subject to an eight tag team tournament that will begin next Sunday night right here on P-SPAN.” Mr. McMann’s smile disappears. Obama: “Here are the matches next week…”

#8-Cadillac and Jaguar (Domination Inc.) vs.
#1-Jack Schett and Bull Schett (Ron Paul’s New Libertarian Army)

#7-’Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee and GreenPete (Green World Order) vs.
#2-Grizzly Adam and Hunter the Hunter (SarahPAC)

#6-The Bipartisan Dream Team: Blue Dog D (Progressive Alliance) and RINO (American Patriots) vs.
#3-Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit (Extreme Neo-Con Alliance)

#5- Starz N. Stripes and ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido (Progressive Alliance) vs.
#4-’Raving Rednecks’ Locke and Loade (American Heartland Coalition)

—————————

Other political stories about:

Sarah Palin: Jim Blazsik, Gateway Pundit, Lynn Rocket’s, Tidbits & Treasures, Konfusing Kancer,  National Review, Master’s Opinion Blog, Blorge, Sacred Beginnings, Team Sarah, Conservatives for Palin, Accismus, Mudflats, Shannyn Moore,

John Murtha: Truth Tracker, ARRA News Service, The Clampdown, Frugal Hoosiers, Batchelor, Seaspook’s Rants, King’s Right Site, M-J in the Republic, And the Cow Goes Moo, Preserving Freedom, American Spectator,

Democrats and Republicans: Later On, Marginal Revolution, Taoist, Shakesville, Sensico, the Atlantic,

5/10-PCW on P-SPAN: Bahama Challenges ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann

Concerto for Trumpet, no. 2 by Johann Melchior Molter (1696-1765) plays as an introduction…

Stuffy Announcer Type: And now, it’s time for Political Championship Wrestling on P-SPAN. Tonight’s program comes to you live tonight from the Bender Arena on the campus of American University.

Crowd: “PCW…PCW…PCW!” Charlene Ann Beckworth climbs into the ring to announce the first match. Charlene Ann: “Our match tonight is a tag team match. On there way to the ring at this time, representing the American Heartland Coalition, The Raving Rednecks Locke and Loade!!!” Locke and Loade raise their hands. Charlene Ann: “Their opponents tonight have the Alaskan Pitbull, Sarah Palin in their corner.” Mixed cheers and boos. Charlene Ann: “From SarahPAC, they are Grizzly Adam and Hunter the Hunter!!”

MATCH #1 The Raving Rednecks Locke and Loade (American Heartland Coalition) vs. Hunter the Hunter and Grizzly Adam w/The Alaskan Pitbull Sarah Palin (SarahPAC)
The bell sounds. Grizzly Adam and Loade to start. Palin and Hunter the Hunter immediately throw a table into the ring. Loade executes a pumphandle suplex on Grizzly Adam. Ace Crusher thru the table! Loade gets up. Earl Loade moves back to his feet. Earl Loade gorilla press slams Grizzly Adam thru a table! Earl Loade locks Grizzly Adam in the full nelson. The ref asks Grizzly Adam if he quits…he doesn’t. Loade tightens the hold but Grizzly escapes. and tags in Hunter the Hunter. Hunter kicks Earl Loade in the stomach and executes the sitdown face slam. Hunter puts Earl Loade through the ring table onto mat with a jackhammer!! Hunter then moonsaults from the top rope and squashes Loade. Loade pulls himself up. Gary Locke gets involved and Grizzly Adam uses a snap mare takeover on him. Grizzly Adam and Locke move into the ring. Hunter set up his bear trap in the corner and then drives his elbow into Loade with an elbow drop from the top rope! Hunter pulls Loade up and throws him back into the ring.

Loade stumbles back to his feet. He gets whipped into the corner by Hunter and *SNAP*…gets his foot caught in the Bear Trap. Grizzly Adam has Locke in a bear hug. Loade taps out.

Charlene Ann: “The winners of this match, Grizzly Adam and Hunter the Hunter!!!”

———————–

ISLAND OF MISFIT WRESTLERS DRESSING ROOM
Movie Classic enters the dressing room. Jimmy from So Cal- Jim Rome clone wannabee, Michael Hunt and Richard Headd of ‘Guys With Unfortunate Names, Dredd Pirate Douggie, Dick Van Dam, Mr. Jaundice, and Captain Nausea all sit on wooden benches with their heads down. Movie Classic: “What’s the problem?” Jimmy from SoCal: “Nothing’s changed. We’re still the lowest of the low. The bottom of the PCW totem pole. The designated talent enhancement. We’re still losing more matches than winning.” Dick Van Dam: “You said things would change.” Michael Hunt: “Yeah.”

Movie Classic glares at Hunt. Movie Classic: “Son, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Whose gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Weinburg?” Michael Hunt: “Who’s Lt. Weinburg?” Movie Classic: “That’s not important. I have more responsibility here than you could possibly fathom. You weep for Santiago, and you curse the marines.” Michael Hunt: “Santiago?” Richard Headd: “The Marines?” Dredd Pirate Douggie: “Shhh. I’m trying to follow…” Movie Classic:“You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know.” Michael Hunt: “Huh? Know about what?” Movie Classic: “That Santiago’s death, while tragic, probably saved lives. And that my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. I know deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties, you don’t want me on that wall, you need me on that wall. We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom I provide, then question the manner in which I provide it. I prefer you said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon, and stand to post. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you are entitled to!” Quiet follows. Michael Hunt: “Okay…I don’t follow. Who’s Santiago? What blanket of freedom do you provide? And what weapon are you talking about.” Movie Classic: “You want answers?” Michael Hunt: “Well…yeah.” Movie Classic: “You want answers?” Michael Hunt: “I said yeah…huh?…oh…. *clears throat* I want the truth.” Movie Classic: “YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!” Another pause follows. Michael Hunt: “Oh.” Hunt rifles through a script. Michael Hunt: “Here we are. Did you order the code red?” Movie Classic: “YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT I DID! NOW GO OUT THERE AND KICK SOME ASS!” Mr. Jaundice: “Ah, sir?” Movie Classic: “YES!” Mr. Jaundice: “We’re not the next match.” Movie Classic: “WE’RE NOT — DAMMIT?” Mr. Jaundice: “Um…no.” Movie Classic: “….oh.”

—————————-

Charlene Ann: Our next match is another tag team match. In this corner, the former PCW Tag Team Champions -Jack Schett and Bull Schett!!  Their opponents, the team of Green World Order. The Green World Order (‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee, GreenPete, PeaceNick, and Peta from PETA) walk to the ring. 

MATCH #2 Jack Schett and Bull Schett w/Horst Schett and Hans Gruber- the Extreme German Schauzer (Progressive Alliance) vs. GreenPete and ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee w/PeaceNick and Peta from PETA (Green World Order)
The bell rings. Jack Schett sends GreenPete to the corner of the ring. Jack throws GreenPete off the ropes and hits him with a diving shoulder block. Jack hits GreenPete with an elbowdrop from the second turnbuckle and thene eats a diving elbow smash from Jack. Jack makes the tag to Bull Schett. Bull lariats GreenPete. Bull follows up with a jawbreaker on GreenPete. Bull measures GreenPete up and drops a closed fist. Bull Schett grabs a chair from Jack and puts it on GreenPete’s head. Bull leg drops GreenPete’s face in the chair. GreenPete is bleeding! Cover. One… GreenPete kicks out.

GreenPete ducks a lariat and tags Brock Cole Lee in. GreenPete then low blows Bull. That brings in Jack Schett who chokes the Extreme Vegan with his boot. They lockup. Bull nails Brock Cole Lee with a belly-to-back suplex and then applies an arm wrench. Lee low blows Bull and tags in GreenPete. They lockup. Bull takes GreenPete down with a knee. Jack slides another chair in the ring. Bull grabs GreenPete…runs to the center of the ring…running Powerslam on the chair!! Bull climbs the corner turnbuckle. Jack puts a brick in the back of his trunks. Bull jumps…and on the Schett Brick on GreenPete. Cover. One…two…three.

Charlene Ann: The winners of this match, Jack Schett and Bull Schett!!!

——————–

PCW NEWSLINE:

DOMINATION INC. PRESS RELEASE
Domination Inc. would like to express our displeasure at the current PCW rankings. There’s no justification for our 7 Foot Weapon of Mass Destruction Big Monster Wahlie to drop to third this week. BMW destroyed four men in two matches on TV this week. What did Randy ‘Road Rage’ Richardson aka…Quad R, do to deserve jumping into second and how does a Domination Inc. reject merit over the hottest thing going in PCW? Quadruple R couldn’t cut it in Domination Inc. because he isn’t half the sports entertainer that BMW is.

Our second bone of contention is in the women’s rankings. It’s bad enough that ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin stole the title two months ago from Domination Inc. But Kathryn Randall Collins ranked as the #1 contender? Another wrestler who couldn’t get the job done at Domination Inc.? Mercedes would have been a far more appropriate choice. With the full backing of Domination Inc. behind her, Mercedes will make a great women’s champion.

Once BMW dethrones PCW Champion O’Beck Bahama, Mercedes wins back our PCW Women’s title, and Big Oil and Walstreit be the team players I believe they are and hand the Tag Team belts to Cadillac and Jaguar, PCW will finally have four champions worthy of being called sports entertainers.We call on PCW to stop hiding and protecting O’Beck Bahama from Big Monster Wahlie and make the match. Otherwise, BMW will continue to wreak havoc through PCW, eliminating one wrestler after another until Bahama’s the only one left and he has no choice but to face him.

ABOUT DOMINATION INC.: Domination Inc. is a wrestling consortium that competes in Political Championship Wrestling. Our stated goal is to be THE single dominating force in PCW by any and all means necessary.

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NEWS AND VIEWS- PCW INVESTIGATIVE REPORTER WOODWARD BERNSTEIN

American Patriots/I-Bomb and H-Bomb
As reported earlier, Incendiary Bomb and Hy Drogen Bomb were furious at American Patriots CEO Michael Steele for botching a run-in and costing them the match Wednesday night. I-Bomb and H-Bomb walked out of the arena without any further communication with American Patriots representatives. The situation is not getting any better.

Progressive Alliance/Jack Schett and Bull Schett
Not much more on this front to report. It appears that Nancy Pelosi is not all that keen on the Schetts and is looking to replace them as the PA’s number one tag team. This despite the fact that the Schetts are the #1 contender for the PCW Tag Team belts (and won their match tonight). Keep an eye on this as it continues to develop.

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Charlene Ann: This match is for the PCW Television Title title. On his way to the ring at this time, weighing in at 170 pounds, from Parts Unknown a member of Island of Misfit Wrestlers accompanied by Movie Classic, Mr. Jaundice!!!” Crowd cheers” Mr. Jaundice comes to the ring. Charlene Ann: “And his opponent, weighing in at 224 pounds, from Cincinnati, Ohio. He’s a member of Progressive Alliance and accompanied by ‘Rahm-bo” Rahm Emanuel. He is the PCW Television Champion- ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido!!!”

MATCH #3 For the PCW Television Title: ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido w/Rahm Emanuel (c) (Progressive Alliance) vs. Mr. Jaundice w/Movie Classic (Island of Misfit Wrestlers)

Mr. Jaundice checks his boots. Escondido checks out the ring. The bell sounds. Mr. Jaundice hits a jumping sidekick on Escondido right out of the box. Escondido shakes it off and suplexes Mr. Jaundice. Mr. Jaundice back to his feet and he dropkicks Escondido. Jaundice puts the PCW TV champ in an arm grapevine submission. Escondido escapes and bulldogs Mr. Jaundice. Rahm Emanuel throws Mr. Jaundice a chair…Escondido dropkicks the chair into his face! Movie Classic then drags Escondido to the floor. Mr. Jaundice tries a missile dropkick. Emanuel runs in pulls him off the top rope. Escondido back in. He gives Mr. Jaundice a Suplex right into the chair!! Escondido grabs him from behind…belly to belly suplex. Bulldog by Escondido. CATTLE MUTILATION! Mr. Jaundice is stuck. Escondido tightens the hold and Mr. Jaundice taps out.

Charlene Ann: “The winner of this match, and still PCW Television Title champion, ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido!!!”

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BACKSTAGE

The Angry Left Wing Bloggers (Daily Kos, Eric Alterman, Jane Hamsher, and Media Matters for America) stand over the unconscious bodies of Dana Perino, ‘The Mastermind’ Karl Rove, Ari Fleischer, and Andrew Card aka…W’s Image Rehab and Truth Squad. Daily Kos: “It’s payback time.”

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PCW Champion O’Beck Bahama walks to the ring with ‘Not Just Unbearable…Not Just Intolerable…He is…” Justin Sufferable. Sufferable: “All right. We’ve been hearing for two weeks now that the PCW Champion O’Beck Bahama is hiding from Domination Inc’s seven foot tall Weapon of Mass Destruction Big Monster Wahlie. Mr. McMann? We’re here. Come on out and let’s play.”

Domination Inc CEO ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann obliges and comes out. Sufferable: “Where is he? He’s here. Let’s do it, now!” McMann: “I’m afraid that Big Monster Wahlie isn’t here tonight.” The crowd boos. McMann: “He’s had…a training accident.” Sufferable: “I’m sorry. A training accident?” McMann: “Yes. A training accident.” Sufferable: “You expect me to believe that after two weeks of talking smack against the PCW champion, that your guy isn’t here tonight because of a training accident?” McMann nods. Bahama takes the mic. Bahama: “Then tell your guy to be in Marietta, Ohio Wednesday night for PCW Extreme Political TV and we’ll settle this once and for all.”

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MAIN EVENT: Kathryn Randall Collins (Progressive Alliance) vs. KaleeJones-The Eskimo Queen w/Sarah Palin

Charlene Ann: “Her opponent is from the Progressive Alliance, weighing in at 175 pounds, from Chappaqua, accompanied by Hillary Clinton, Kathryn Randall Collins!!! Kalee charges and drops KRC with a Gorilla Press Slam on the mat. The bell rings. Kalee chops KRC on the floor. KRC jabs back and hits an elbowsmash to the face. Kalee t-bone suplexes KRC. Both women finally climb into the ring.

They lockup. Collins sent to the corner. Kalee goes for a leg drop but KRC dodges the attack and scoots to the floor. Jones follows and uses a closed fist on KRC. Kalee follows up with a back fist. KRC with a punch to the head. They head back into the ring. Kalee rakes her fingers across KRC’s back. Kalee with a kick to the back of the leg. Arm wrench applied. Body slam. Kalee goes for a pin. One…two…KRC kicks out. Collins gets back to her feet. Snap mare takeover by Kalee. Kalee gets KRC with an elbowdrop from the second turnbuckle. Cover …one. KRC escapes. James Carville, Paul Begala, Rahm Emanuel run to the ring. Carville smashes the chair into Kalee’s face!! She’s busted open! Emanuel grabs the chair…smashes Kalee over the head with it! PCW Security Director Dawn McGill runs in and drags Collins to the floor. Carville, Begala, Emanuel get into a heated argument in the aisle with McGill. KRC back in the ring. Kalee sends KRC to the corner of the aisle. She bounces off of the ropes and gets hit with a backdrop diver by Jones.

Kalee back on her feet. She uppercuts KRC. Follows with the belly-to-back superplex. Kalee hits a power slam. Former PCW Women’s Champion Hallie Burton hits the ring. KRC takes a running powerslam by Burton. Burton stomps KRC. Kalee Jones bounces Burton off the ropes and clotheslines her. Kalee chokes Burton with her boot.  She nails KRC with an Eskimo Pieface from the second turnbuckle. Kalee chokes her with her boot. Kalee leg drops the throat of Burton. Kalee Jones leg drops the throat of Collins. Airplane spin on Burton…for some reason the ref calls the match…and that’s all…

5/10-PCW on P-SPAN Preview

Main Event is a #1 contender’s match for the PCW Women’s title.  KRC w/Hillary Clinton and the Clinton Political Pitbulls takes on The Eskimo Queen Kalee Jones with the Alaskan Pitbull Sarah Palin in her corner.

Also on the card tonight:

‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido (Progressive Alliance) defends the PCW TV Title against Mr. Jaundice from the Isle of Misfit Wrestlers

‘Raving Rednecks’ Locke and Loade (American Heartland Coalition) take on Grizzly Adam & Hunter the Hunter from SarahPAC in tag team action

and Jack Schett & Bull Schett (Progressive Alliance) meet The Green World Order (Extreme Vegan Brock Cole Lee and GreenPete)

Also, will PCW Champion O’Beck Bahama answer Domination Inc’s 7 Ft. Weapon of Mass Destruction Big Monster Wahlie tonight?

PCW on P-SPAN will be posted tonight @ www.politicalwrestling.word… at 9 PM.  Tune in.

5/3-PCW on P-SPAN: Dick Cheney, Arlen Specter, and a Huge Return


The Dr. Bill/Island of Misfit Wrestlers feud continues as SNAFU w/Dr. Bill (Independent) takes on Captain Nausea w/Movie Classic (Island of Misfit Wrestlers).

The women’s division heats up with two big matches: Former PCW Women’s Champion Hallie Burton w/’The Mastermind’ Karl Rove (Extreme Neo-Con Alliance) wrestles 2 time Former PCW Women’s Champion Kathryn Randall Collins w/Hillary Clinton and the Clinton Political Pitbulls-James Carville and Paul Begala (Progressive Alliance)

Then, newcomer Mercedes w/Porsche Lexus and Domination Inc. takes on rising star Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen w/Alaskan Pitbull Sarah Palin (SarahPAC)

Main event: Domination Inc’s 7 foot tall Weapon of Mass Destruction Big Monster Wahlie wrestles not one, but TWO men tonight in a handicap match. His victims…er…opponents are Richard Headd and Michael Hunt aka Guys With Unfortunate Names.

Plus, will Dick Cheney waterboard Arlen Specter? We’ll find out tonight.

5/3 PCW on P-SPAN results from Washington D.C.

The show starts with Dick Cheney and ‘The Mastermind’ Karl Rove in the ring. They announce that they have Arlen Specter and will waterboard the ‘traitor’ later in the show.

Cheney wants to know where ‘Nancy Pelosi is hiding’ after it was disclosed that she knew about his plans to use waterboarding as a weapon in PCW. A replay then shows of the tape showing Cheney asked Pelosi about waterboarding in PCW and her response.

REPLAY FROM 4/29-PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV
-TAPE FROM MEETING OF THE PCW COMPETITION COMMITTEE A FEW WEEKS AGO
Pelosi, Harry Reid, and Steny Hoyer representing the Progressive Alliance, and Mitch McConnell and John Boehner of the American Patriots sit at a table with Cheney, Rove, and Don Rumsfeld. Pelosi: “So…the consensus is that because PCW has already allowed chloroform, jumper cables, tasers, cattle prods, that we’re going to allow powerful drugs that are transmitted by touch that cause temporary paralysis?” Everyone murmurs yes. Pelosi: “Okay. Motion carried.” Cheney: “Nancy, any objection to the use of waterboarding in PCW events?” Pelosi: “That’s fine. Whatever. Next?

For his part, Rove incessantly kept pointing to his temple to make sure everyone knew that he was a friggin’ genius.

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Match #1- SNAFU w/Dr. Bill (Independent) def. Capt. Nausea w/Movie Classic (Island of Misfit Wrestlers) via pinfall with the Arabian Facebuster

All of the SABU DVD’s SNAFU’s been watching over the past months are starting to payoff. After the pin, DVD and the rest of the Island of Misfit Wrestlers ran in and SNAFU quickly dispatched them singlehandedly with a steel folding chair.

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Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen and The Alaskan Pitbull Sarah Palin cut a promo. Palin rips on the PCW Competition Committee for not including The Eskimo Queen in Wednesday night’s #1 Contender’s Match for the PCW Women’s title.

REPLAY FROM 4/29-PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV
-#1 CONTENDER’S MATCH FOR THE PCW WOMEN’S TITLE: KRC vs. Hallie Burton vs. Mercedes
Suave: HOLD ON! THAT’S KALEE JONES-THE ESKIMO QUEEN AND THE ALASKAN PITBULL SARAH PALIN! WHAT ARE THEY DOING OUT HERE?” Kalee hits the ring and Eskimo Piefaces KRC. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! The Eskimo Queen caught KRC totally by surprise. AGAIN! THIS TIME IT’S MERCEDES! PORSCHE LEXUS RUNS IN…ESKIMO PIEFACE! ROUGH JUSTICE! *THWACK* PALIN JUST DECAPITATED D.B. RUFF WITH HOCKEY STICK! HOLY FREAKIN’ CRAP! CARVILLE AND BEGALA IN THE RING. OWWWWWWW! PALIN JUST CRACKED HER HOCKEY STICK ON CARVILLE’S HEAD… KALEE JONES PISSED BECAUSE SHE WASN’T INCLUDED IN THE #1 CONTENDER’S MATCH.

Palin promises that Jones will make her point tonight by standing up to the corporate might of Domination Inc. and destroying Mercedes.

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COMMERCIAL TIME:

The E-Wrestling Magazine is the home for all the latest news on e-federations all across the country. Check out PCW and all the latest stories:

Dream Wrestling Goes Public! Sunday, 03 May 2009 (/)
What’s Brewing in the ICWF? Saturday, 02 May 2009 (/)
Less Than Two Days Left Saturday, 02 May 2009 (/)
Hostility: South of Heaven Almost Sold Out? Friday, 01 May 2009 (/)
XWW Joins HoTV Friday, 01 May 2009 (/)
Brand Shows? Friday, 01 May 2009 (/)
5/1-PCW Newsline: Cheney Looks to Waterboard Specter, American Patriots “Leaderless, Rudderless, and Clueless?” Friday, 01 May 2009 (/)
Three Days Friday, 01 May 2009 (/)
NFW: No Hold’s Barred

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Fed Wars.org – Fed Wars is an interfed promotion currently run by Ben Halkum. There are a number of e-feds already involved in this project.

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E-Wrestling Torch- E-fed television, pay-per-view, and classic show reviews!

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The Titan Zone A social network about e-wrestling. Meet and get to know the Titans of the e-wrestling world!

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Match #2 Kathryn Randall Collins w/Hillary Clinton and the Clinton Political Pitbulls- James Carville and Paul Begala (Progressive Alliance) def. Hallie Burton w/’The Mastermind’ Karl Rove (Extreme Neo-Con Alliance) via pin with the Politics of Personal Destruction finisher.

Post match, Burton attacks KRC. Carville and Begala intervene. W’s Image Rehab and Truth Squad wade in and it takes PCW Security Director Dawn McGill to separate the two groups.

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UPCOMING EVENTS: OTHER E-FEDERATIONS:

King of Xtreme
May 3, 2009 all day – XWW arena Elimira N.Y.

DWF Sunday Night Slaughter
May 3, 2009 from 7pm to 10:30pm – Key Arena in Seattle, WA

WTF Xtreme
May 3, 2009 from 9pm to 11pm – Energy Solutions Arena

CCW Lockdown – May 4, 2009
May 4, 2009 from 9pm to 10pm – Verizon Center

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DOMINATION INC. PRESS RELEASE

Domination Inc would like to congratulate our ‘seven foot Weapon of Mass Destruction’ Big Monster Wahlie on his successful debut in Political Championship Wrestling. It is painfully clear after two matches that BMW is simply heads above everyone else in PCW- even PCW Champion O’Beck Bahama. The only reason Bahama continues to be the PCW Champion is because he’s been protected by the PCW CEO Barack Obama and Bahama’s manager Justin Sufferable.

BMW has thrown out an open challenge to O’Beck Bahama to meet him at any time- either on PCW on P-SPAN or PCW Extreme Political TV. Until the Big Monster gets a response, he’ll continue to tear through the clearly inferior PCW competition. In fact, the competition is so pathetic BMW will take on not just one wrestler but TWO Sunday night on PCW on P-SPAN. Somehow, our guess is that BMW will still be able to easily dispatch his two opponents.

Domination Inc. would also like to note the upcoming six month anniversary of Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit’s Tag Team Title reign. It seems just yesterday that the Domination Inc stars easily took the Tag Team belts from the Schett Brothers at PCW Extreme Election Night 2008. Congratulations Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit and we hope that you continue to be ‘team’ players.
About Domination Inc: Domination Inc. is a wrestling consortium that competes in Political Championship Wrestling. Our stated goal is to be THE single dominating force in PCW by any and all means necessary.

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Match #3 Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen w/Alaskan Pitbull Sarah Palin (SarahPAC) def. Mercedes w/Porsche Lexus and Rough Justice: D.B. Ruff and Connor Justice- two former police officers fired due to their extreme methods of law enforcement. The Eskimo Queen overcame numerous Domination Inc. run-ins and destroyed both Mercedes and Porsche Lexus with multiple Eskimo Piefaces. Jones was aided by Sarah Palin and NRA from SarahPAC and the Princess of Political Incorrectness Andrea Doria of the American Heartland Coalition.

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PCW NEWSLINE

NEWS AND VIEWS- PCW INVESTIGATIVE REPORTER WOODWARD BERNSTEIN

PCW Women’s Champion ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin
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The hot rumor floating around is that Tessa could be leaving Political Championship Wrestling in the next few weeks for her own show. This would deal a devastating blow to the fledgling American Heartland Coalition of which Tessa has taken on a leadership role. Stay tuned on this one for further developments.

American Patriots- Bomb Brothers Drama
-A. Tom Bomb, Hy Drogen Bomb, and Newt Tron Bomb are very upset with the lack of leadership in the American Patriots group. John McCain persuaded the Bombs to come back to the American Patriots earlier in the year but the situation has deteriorated to the point where A-Bomb blurted out in a meeting that the AP was “leaderless, rudderless, and clueless.” It has reached the point that the Bombs are considering leaving Political Championship Wrestling.

The Bombs have been a staple of PCW since its creation in 2005. It’s hard to imagine PCW without the Bombs in it. Let’s hope it doesn’t get to that point.

Progressive Alliance- Schett Brothers Drama
-Speaking of high drama, it look as if the Progressive Alliance and Jack and Bull Schett have fallen out of love with each other. Jack Schett was very vocal at a PA meeting about the lack of push they feel they’re getting to recapturing the PCW Tag Team titles. Jack also brought up the PA’s focus on the PCW Title at the expense of the tag team belts. If the Schetts leave, it would cripple the Progressive Alliance’s chances of regaining the tag team belts anytime soon. It’s be interesting to see how this plays out in the next few weeks.

American Patriots- Dick Cheney
-Many American Patriots members are privately fuming over Dick Cheney and the W’s Image Rehab and Truth Squad’s action over the past two weeks. Many were appalled at the sight of PCW Women’s Champion ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin being waterboarded Sunday night on PCW on P-SPAN. There is a clear division within the AP about Cheney’s actions and it continues to fracture the group into separate groups.

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UPCOMING EVENTS @ http://www.politicalwrestling.wordpress.com :
5/6- PCW Extreme Political TV
5/8- PCW Newsline
5/10- PCW on P-SPAN
5/13- PCW Extreme Political TV
5/17- PCW on P-SPAN
5/20- PCW Extreme Political TV
5/22- PCW Newsline
5/24- PCW on P-SPAN
5/27- PCW Extreme Political TV
5/29- PCW Newsline

6/7- Political Championship Wrestling Presents: Loose Cannons Unleashed 5

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MATCH #4 Domination Inc’s Seven Foot Tall Weapon of Mass Destruction BIG MONSTER WHALIE w/Domination Inc (Domination Inc.) pinned Richard Headd and Michael Hunt aka…Guys With Unfortunate Names (Island of Misfit Wrestlers) in 21 seconds. Headd and Hunt raced in and ran into a double chokeslam by BMW. Electric Chair Facebuster to Headd. Electric Chair Facebuster to Hunt. Pin. Match.

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W’s Image Rehab and Truth Squad (Dana Perino, Ari Fleischer, Andrew Card, ‘The Mastermind’ Karl Rove) drag Arlen Specter over to ‘Club Gitmo.’ They get ready to waterboard him when a man in a black mask and dressed all in black attacks. Rove ends up in the water. Fleischer and Card eat power bombs. Perino hides behind Cheney. Then the man pulls off the mask. Cheney is stunned to learn that the man is…former PCW Champion and former member of the American Patroits- Starz N. Stripes (formerly Kevin Scott).

3/31-PCW Extreme Political TV-part two: Can the Drunken Luchadors Drink Their Way to a Title Shot? Can KRC Overcome the Corporate Power of Domination Inc.?

MATCH #2- PCW EXTREME MARCH MAYHEM TAG TEAM TOURNAMENT CHAMPIONSHIP
#15 DRUNKEN LUCHADORS DAN and DON MARTINI (Independent) vs.
#8 GRIZZLY ADAM and HUNTER the HUNTER w/’The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin (SarahPAC)
Suave: “Sunday night, Sarah Palin found herself handcuffed to the ring ropes with Mia Margarita ready to give her the Long Kiss Goodnight SarahPAC’s Kalee Jones was taken down by Domination Inc. Tonight, can SarahPAC rebound and gain a shot at the PCW Tag Team Title? Will Domination Inc. interfere in the match?” The Martinis inbibe in their usual pre-match ritual. Both Martini Brothers chug down a bottle of Jack Daniels and then break the bottle over their heads. Suave: “Yes, it’s a little unorthodox. But what the hell, they used to be the champions. They can do whatever they want.”

The bell rings. Dan Martini and Hunter the Hunter to start. Palin cheers her team on outside the ring. Lock up in the middle of the ring. Hunter goes for an armdrag takedown but Dan stumbles over his own two feet and falls anyways. Hunter with kicks. Dan gets up and inadvertently headbutts Hunter in the balls. Dan stumbles back to the corner- tags Don in. Don attempts to climb in but gets hung up in the ring ropes. Hunter senses an opportunity and charges. Don flops in just as Hunter arrives and eats the corner turnbuckle. Hunter wobbles back and falls over Don. Crowd chants for the Drunken Luchadors. A brief lock up and an attempted knee by Hunter that whiffs when Don staggers out of the way. Hunter tries rights, and then the boots…and misses again. Disgusted, Hunter turns and tags in Grizzly Adam.

Suave: “Well, let’s see if Grizzly Adam has better luck with the Drunken Luchador.” Another lock up. Grizzly picks up Don…press slam. Grizzly picks him up again…bear hug! Grizzly squeezes the hell out of Don. *BRRRACCCKKK!* Suave: “HOLY CRAP! DON MARTINI JUST…BURPED…IN GRIZZLY’S FACE!” Grizzly waves his hand in front of his face to get the smell away. Don staggers back and tags Dan back in. Dan attempts a missile drop kick and misses. Grizzly picks up him and power slams him to the canvas. Dan somehow pulls himself back up. Grizzly charges for a lariat. Dan loses his footing and drops on his seat. Grizzly misses and slams into the turnbuckle. He, too, falls over Dan to the canvas. Dan tries to climb up the corner turnbuckle. He makes it to the top…and falls out of the ring through a table. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! You know? It’s bad enough when someone puts you through a table. But when you put yourself through a table….sheesh.”

Grizzly up on the top of the turnbuckle. Don Martini crawls up to the top rope as well. Martini loses his footing and crotches himself. The movement causes Grizzly to lose his footing and he crotches himself on the other turnbuckle. Don falls back into the Tree of Woe. Hunter the Hunter in the ring. He goes for a baseball slide. Don suddenly tumbles back and his feet connect with Hunter’s forehead as he flips backwards. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! WHAT A MOVE!” Palin can’t believe it. Palin: “OH, COME ON!” Don lands on top of Hunter. 1…2…Hunter kicks out. Dan Martini is back on his feet and trying to climb back into the ring. Palin over. *WHACK* Suave: “She just nailed Dan Martini with the hockey stick!” Dan falls back right into the ‘Alaskan Pitbull’ and steamrolls her over.

Grizzly hits another press slam on Don Martini. Lift and BEAR HUG! Suave: “HE’S GOT IT CINCHED IN! COULD THIS BE…oh, oh.” Don starts to violently wretch. Grizzly squeezes harder. Don wretches and then… Suave: “GREEN SLIME!…no…PROJECTILE VOMIT!” A solid stream of vomit hits Grizzly and he loses his footing. Don passes out on top of him. 1…2…3.

WINNER OF THE TAG TEAM TOURNAMENT: DRUNKEN LUCHADORS DAN and DON MARTINI

Suave: “I DON’T BELIEVE IT! THE DRUNKEN LUCHADORS, OUT OF PCW FOR OVER A YEAR, COME BACK AND TAKE THE PCW MARCH MAYHEM TAG TEAM TOURNAMENT. They’re trying to give them the trophy…but they’re both passed out. Okay…congratulation Martinis and here’s the WRRRRRAHH! Beer Gratuitous Vomiting Moment of the Night.”

REPLAY: THE WRRRRRRRRRAH! BEER GRATUITOUS VOMITING MOMENT OF THE NIGHT
Don wretches in slow motion. He opens his mouth and a stream (think water from a fire hose) of vomit hits Grizzly in the face. He loses his footing. Don passes out. Game over.

Suave: “Well, as they clean up the ring, we’ll be back after this commercial break.”




Suave: “Okay…we’re back and ready for our main event.  After what happened Sunday night between Domination Inc. and Kathryn Randall Collins, this could be a real wild ride.”

MATCH #3 PCW EXTREME MARCH MAYHEM WOMEN’S TOURNAMENT CHAMPIONSHIP
#6 DAISY CUTTER-BOMB w/Domination Inc. (Domination Inc.) vs.
#2 KATHRYN RANDALL COLLINS w/Hillary Clinton and the Clinton Political Pitbulls (Progressive Alliance)

Suave: “Here we go!”  The bell rings.  Suave: Both women cautiously come out.  They lock up in the middle.  KRC pushes Daisy down.”  Daisy shoots KRC a glare and pops right back up.  Suave: “Lock up.  OW!  Kick to the gut by Daisy Cutter-Bomb.  She’s got an arm wringer on now.  KRC tries to reverse…and she does.  WHOA!  BACK KICK BY DAISY AND KRC IS IN SOME SERIOUS PAIN!”  KRC doubles over.  Then she snaps and rams Daisy’s head into the turnbuckle.  Suave: “KRC ramming the head of Daisy Cutter-Bomb over and over and over into the turnbuckle.”  Mr. McMann, flanked by his Corporate Enforcer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, looks on with some concern.  Suave: “Body slam by KRC.  KRC turns it o-verrrr…into a Boston Crab!  ROUGH JUSTICE IN THE RING!  HOLY CRAP!  D.B. RUFF CLOTHESLINES KRC!”  Rahm Emanuel gets on the ring apron and yells at Ruff.  The Clinton Political Pitbulls walk to the other end of the ring causing Ruff and Connor Justice to retreat back to their corner.

Suave: “Daisy on offense now.  Scoop slam.  Off the ropes…elbow drop.”  Daisy calls for a chair.  Kirk Walstreit obliges.  Suave: “She’s got a chair…BUT RAHM EMANUEL TAKES IT AWAY FROM HER!”  The crowd cheers.  Suave: “HERE COMES ROUGH JUSTICE AGAIN!  *CLANG*  CHAIRSHOT TO RUFF!  *CLANG* CHAIRSHOT TO JUSTICE!”  Emnauel turns and faces Daisy Cutter-Bomb.  KRC swoops in from behind.  Suave: “ROLL-UP!  ONE…TWO…NO!  DAISY KICKS OUT AT TWO.  Front face-lock by KRC.  Ruff and Justice crawl from the ring.  KRC turns it around…Neckbreaker!  Cover.  One…two…Daisy kicks out.  KRC pulls her up by the hair.  That can’t feel good.  She drapes her over the ropes.”  KRC splashes Daisy from behind driving her throat into the ring ropes.  Daisy slingshots off and lands back first on the canvas.  Suave: “Nasty move there by KRC.  Now Emanuel hands her a chair.  *CLANG*  HOLY CRAP!”  Daisy wobbles and falls into the ropes.  *CLANG*  Suave: “RIGHT TO THE BACK!”  KRC puts the chair down.  Suave: “Headlock…DDT ON THE CHAIR!  COVER.  1…2…HERE WE GO!  IT’S THE QUEEN OF POLITICAL EXTREME ANN COULTER!”  Coulter attacks KRC with lefts and rights.  Suave: “LAURA INGRAHAM IN THE RING TOO!  THEY’RE DOUBLE TEAMING KRC AND RAHM EMANUEL BREAKS IT UP!  HERE COMES THE CLINTON POLITICAL PITBULLS!  CARVILLE AND BEGALA WADE IN AND WE’VE GOT EVERYONE IN THE RING!  THE RIGHT WING BRIGADIERS ATTACKED KRC AND NOW IT’S A FREE FOR ALL.  EMANUEL DROPS AN F-BOMB ON D.B. RUFF!  OHHHH.  COULTER JUST KICKED HIM IN THE NETHER REGIONS.  HOLY CRAP!  NOW WHO’S COMING DOWN?  IT’S THE PCW SECURITY DIRECTOR DAWN McGILL!  McGILL GRABS INGRAHAM BY THE HAIR AND FLINGS HER OVER THE TOP ROPE!”  The ring slowly clears.  Suave: “McGILL KICKS EMANUEL OUT OF THE RING AND TELLS THE DOMINATION INC CONTINGENT THAT THEY’D BETTER STAY RIGHT WHERE THEY ARE.”

McGill and Mr. McMann engage in a conversation.  Suave: “Dawn McGill restoring some order to this very important match.  The winner meets PCW Women’s Champion ‘PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin next week for the title.  RAKE TO THE EYES BY DAISY CUTTER-BOMB!”  Daisy lowers her head and pushes KRC back hard into the corner turnbuckle.  Suave: “That’ll knock the wind right out of you.”  Daisy does it again.  And again.   And again.  The fifth time, KRC sidesteps and then pushes Daisy headfirst into the turnbuckle.  Suave: “KRC rings Daisy’s bell with that move.  Daisy staggers back.  DIAMOND CUTTER!  DIAMOND CUTTER!  KRC COVERS.  ONE…TWO…NO!  DAISY SOMEHOW GETS HER LEFT SHOULDER UP.  NOW SHE’S GOT HER UP…AND…YES!  POLITICS OF PERSONAL DESTRUCTION!  KRC COVERS AND COULTER AND INGRAHAM ARE IN THE RING AGAIN!”  Coulter tackles KRC and they start rolling around the ring.  Suave: “CAT-FIIIIIIGHT!   CAT-FIIIIIIGHT!  AND HERE COMES THE ANGRY LEFT WING BLOGGERS!”  Daily Kos, Media Matters for America, Paul Krugman, and Arianna Huffington hit the ring.  Suave: “AGAIN, THE MATCH BREAKS DOWN AND DAWN McGILL WADES IN.  KRC HAD THIS MATCH WON UNTIL THE QUEEN OF POLITICAL EXTREME ANN COULTER TACKLED HER AND STOPPED THE COUNT.  McGILL THROWS COULTER THROUGH THE ROPES…WHOA…HUFFINGTON JUST POSTED DAISY CUTTER-BOMB.  KRC WITH A SECOND POLITICS OF PERSONAL DESTRUCTION FINISHER.  SHE COVERS.  ONE…TWO…THREE.

WINNER OF THE PCW EXTREME MARCH MAYHEM WOMEN’S TOURNAMENT: KATHRYN RANDALL COLLINS

Suave: “KRC GETS THE WIN AND THE TITLE SHOT.   BUT THIS THING ISN’T OVER YET.   AND NOW!   WHO?  YES  IT IS!  IT’S BLUE DOG D AND RINO!  THESE TWO MAY NOT SHARE THE SAME AFFILITATION BUT THEY’RE COMMITTED TO WORKING TOGETHER.  RINO WITH A SPEAR!  SPEAR!  SPEAR!   HE NEARLY TOOK KIRK WALSTREIT’S SKIN OFF HIS BODY.  BLUE DOG D TOSSES INGRAHAM.  HE TOSSES OUT COULTER.  NEXT WEEK, PCW NIGHT OF CHAMPIONS!  FOUR TITLE MATCHS AND A WHOLE LOT MORE!  I’M JOHNNY SUAVE AND WE’LL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK!”

3/31-PCW Extreme Political TV- part one: What Would You Rather See- Sarah Palin in handcuffs or Rahm Emanuel dropping a few F-Bombs

Last Week on PCW Extreme Political TV:

Quarterfinals of the Extreme March Mayhem Tag Team Tournament:

  1. #8 GRIZZLY ADAM and HUNTER the HUNTER w/ ‘The Alaskan Pitbull Sarah Palin (SarahPAC) DEF. #1 A. TOM BOMB and HY DROGEN BOMB w/ ‘The Straight Shootin’ Maverick’ John McCain (McCain’s Marauders) when A-Bomb stepped in Hunter the Hunter’s bear trap and tapped out.
  2. #15- DRUNKEN LUCHADORS- THE FLYIN’ MARTINI BROTHERS (Independent) DEF. #7- NEWT TRON BOMB and INCENDIARY BOMB (McCain’s Marauders) when Don Martini passes out on top of Newt Tron Bomb for the pin.
  3. #13- SNAFU and DVD (Dr. Bill’s Island of Misfit Wrestlers) DEF. #5 ‘Extreme Vegan’ BROCK COLE LEE and GREENPETE (Green World Order). SNAFU continues to show that he’s learning from watching endless hours of Sabu matches by nailing GreenPete with the Arabian Facebuster to score the upset win.
  4. #3 JACK SCHETT and BULL SCHETT w/Horst Schett and Hans Gruber- the Extreme German Schnauzer (Progressive Alliance) DEF. #11 THE DIXIE CHUCKS – Chuck-mily and Chuck-artie w/Chuck-atalie (Progressive Alliance). Guest Color Commentator Bob Knight becomes upset when the Dixie Chuck suplex Jack Schett through the announcer’s table. Knight throws a chair and KO’s Chuck-mily and Bull Schett clotheslines Chuck-artie to gain the pin.

Quarterfinals of the Extreme March Mayhem Women’s Tournament:

  1. #4 MIA MARGARITA (Domination Inc.) DEF. #5 CODE PINK (Progressive Alliance). Mia thrills the crowd…well, mainly the guys…by giving Code Pink the Long Kiss Goodnight before getting the pin.
  2. #1 KATHRYN RANDALL COLLINS (Domination Inc.) DEF. #8 “Trailer Park Sweetheart’ TANYA HARDY (White Trash Posse) with the Politics of Personal Destruction finisher.
  3. #6 DAISY CUTTER-BOMB (Domination Inc.) DEF #14 DR. ANNABEL LECKTOR aka…Annabel the Cannibal (Independent) by forfeit.
  4. #2 KALEE JONES- The Eskimo Queen w/Sarah Palin (SarahPAC) DEF. #7 “Queen of All Media” OPAL WINFREE w/Opal’s Flock- New Age Sensitive Guy and Soccer Mom (Progressive Alliance). Jones overcomes the interference of Soccer Mom and New Age Sensitive Guy to deliver an Eskimo Pieface to Winfree and advance to the semi-finals.

PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV: March 31th from the Elmwood High School Gymnasium in Bloomdale, Ohio
HOSTS: Johnny Suave and his life size cardboard cut-out of Shania Twain

Crowd: “PCW!…PCW!…PCW!” Suave: “WELCOME TO P-C-W!” Huge cheer from the crowd. Suave: “I’M JOHNNY SUAVE! THIS HOT PIECE OF CARDBOARD IS SHANIA TWAIN. WE ARE LIVE AT THE ELMWOOD HIGH SCHOOL GYMNASIUM AND WE’VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT. AS YOU KNOW, SUNDAY NIGHT’S PCW ON P-SPAN WINNOWED THE TAG TEAM AND WOMEN’S TOURNAMENT DOWN TO THE FINAL TWO.”

REPLAY FROM PCW ON P-SPAN: MATCH #1- SEMI FINAL #1 OF THE WOMEN’S TOURNAMENT
#6 DAISY CUTTER-BOMB w/Domination Inc. (Domination Inc.) vs. #2 KALEE JONES- The Eskimo Queen w/’The Alaskan Pitbull‘ Sarah Palin (SarahPAC)

Kalee came out on fire and controlled the match until Domination Inc. got involved. Kathryn Randall Collins through powder in Jones’s face. That prompted ‘The Alaskan Pitbull‘ Sarah Palin to intervene. Palin took a swipe at KRC but was restrained by Rough Justice aka…D.B. Ruff and Connor Justice- two former policemen fired because of their extreme methods of dispensing justice. Rough Justice handcuffed Palin to the ring ropes and Television Reality Show Star Mia Margarita delivered a ‘Long Kiss Goodnight’ on the Eskimo Queen. Daisy added a Daisy Cutter Power Bomb for good measure and that was that.

WINNER: DAISY CUTTER-BOMB

Post match Domination Inc. CEO ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann entered the ring to gloat over the fact that two Domination Inc. wrestlers were guaranteed to meet Tuesday night for a shot at the PCW Women’s title. McMann downplayed the controversy over KRC meeting with Hillary Clinton and declared the Domination Inc. is back. McMann taunted Palin, bringing out the Executive Director of the American Patriots, Michael Steele.

Steele pleaded with McMann to stop. McMann sent the Corporate Enforcer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot over and WTF chokeslammed Steele. Mia went over to give The Alaskan Pitbull her own special Long Kiss Goodnight before SarahPAC’s Hunter the Hunter and Grizzly Adam along with the PCW Women’s champion ‘PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin cleared the ring.

REPLAY: MATCH #2- SEMI FINAL #1 OF THE TAG TEAM TOURNAMENT
#13 SNAFU and DVD w/Dr. Bill (Dr. Bill’s Island of Misfit Wrestlers) vs. #8 GRIZZLY ADAM and HUNTER the HUNTER (SarahPAC)

The Cinderella run of SNAFU and DVD came to a crashing end. DVD crotched himself early in the match attempting a guillotine leg drop on the guardrail and was no factor. Hunter the Hunter whipped SNAFU into the corner and trapped him with the Bear Trap Submission hold. SNAFU tapped out.

WINNER: GRIZZLY ADAM and HUNTER the HUNTER (SarahPAC)

REPLAY: MATCH #3- SEMI FINAL #2 OF THE TAG TEAM TOURNAMENT
#15 DRUNKEN LUCHADORS DAN and DON MARTINI (Independent) vs. #2 JACK SCHETT and BULL SCHETT w/Horst Schett and Hans Gruber- the Extreme German Schnauzer (Progressive Alliance)

In a battle of former PCW Tag Team champions, the Schetts looked as if they would cruise easily to victory. Then Domination Inc. hit the ring in the form of the PCW Tag Team Champions Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit- the Wall Street Market Analyst with the Mancrush on ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit. Rough Justice again got involved and tasered both Schetts. Dan Martini passed out on Jack to give the Martinis the win.

WINNER: DRUNKEN LUCHADORS DAN and DON MARTINI

Again, ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann walks out. He states the corporation always get their way and tonight that meant bad news for Jack and Bull Schett. McMann knows that pound for pound the Schetts are the best tag team in PCW- but they aren’t the smartest. He calls the Martinis ‘washed up’ and ‘irrelevant’ and says he’ll do what it takes to make sure the Martinis make it to the PCW Tag Team title match on 4/7′s PCW Night of Champions.

Suave: And it sets up this match. Over the past few days, the tension between Domination Inc. and former 2 time PCW Women’s Champion Kathryn Randall Collins has nearly reached critical mass. It all started with the firing of Quadruple R after PCW Weapons of Mass Political Destruction.

REPLAY: 3/19-PCW NEWSLINE
Domination Inc. Suite
Quadruple R charges into Mr. McMann’s office. ‘Corporate Enforcer’ Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, former PCW Women’s Champion Kathryn Randall Collins, Daisy Cutter-Bomb, and Rough Justice are also there. Quad R: “YOU!” He lunges at McMann. WTF grabs him and starts for the door. McMann: “Hold on. Let him have his exit interview.” WTF sets him down. Quad R: “I WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE #$## THAT WAS ALL ABOUT LAST NIGHT!” Mr. McMann: “Your inability to act as a team player. We gave you chance after chance to win the PCW Title. You wanted to do it on your own and I granted your request. And at the precise moment where the title was there to be won, you lost your composure and took out the referee. You are a liability that I no longer can afford to keep.” Quad R: “YOU PROMISED ME THE PCW TITLE! AND ALL YOU DID WAS HOLD ME BACK.” McMann: “I see. So that’s why you told someone in authority that I had four hired hands coming in at PCW Weapons of Mass Political Destruction.” Quad R: “What are you talking about?” McMann: “Don’t insult my intelligence. You’re the mole. You sold out Domination Inc. in order to get your preference. You told someone about the hired hands. You betrayed everything we’ve been working for.” Quad R: “LIKE HELL I DID!” McMann: “Really, now? Who else would have done it? Whiskey Tango Foxtrot? Rough Justice? No. You had the motive. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have plans to finalize for-” Quad R leaps over the desk and drives McMann and his chair backwards. WTF immediately races around the table and grabs Quad R by the neck and yanks him off Mr. McMann. McMann: “GET HIM OUT OF HERE!” WTF drags Quad R towards the exit. Quad R kicks him in the balls and lunges again towards McMann. Enraged, WTF again clutches Quad R’s neck and pulls him back. He puts him in the powerbomb position and turns him towards a glass table. KRC comes over. KRC: “WHISKEY! NO!” WTF stops. McMann climbs over the table and hits Quad R in the chest. WTF lets go and Quad R goes through the glass table.

Suave: PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein later reported that Quad R had significant internal injuries. KRC was very upset about what happened and since then, the relationship between Domination Inc. and KRC has gone downhill quickly. Sunday night, things finally blew apart…let’s go back…”

MATCH #1 from 3/29-PCW on P-SPAN Special:
MIA MARGARITA (Domination Inc.) vs.
KATHRYN RANDALL COLLINS (Domination Inc.)

-Johnny Suave and P-SPAN’s Brian Lamb commentating
The rest of Domination Inc. circles the ring. Suave: “Well? I wonder how long this match will go for?” Lamb: “What do you mean?” Suave: “It means that they’re both on the same team. Last time, KRC poked Mia in the chest with her finger and won the match.Lamb: “Well she must have a very strong finger.” Suave: “Actually, Brian-…ah, never mind.” The bell rings and Mia circles around KRC. She stops. KRC pokes her with the finger. Mia just stands there. KRC pokes her again. Mia doesn’t fall. KRC pokes her a third time causing Mia to take a step back. But she doesn’t go down. Suave: “I KNEW IT!” Lamb: “Knew what? She didn’t fall down.” Suave: “I just knew that there was something up and Mia might not go down to the fingerpoke of doom and…never mind…LONG KISS GOODNIGHT! LONG KISS GOODNIGHT!” Mia launches herself forward and liplocks KRC. Suave: KRC STARTS TO FADE!” She drops to one knee, then two. Suave: “MR. McMANN’S IN THE RING!” Mia pulls back and then goes over and holds KRC upright. Mr. McMann gets right in her face. McMann: “Look. I didn’t want to do this. You’re too good of a wrestler to let go. But, I found out something about you that I can’t tolerate- weakness. That’s right. Your reaction to what happened to Quadruple R shows weakness. I don’t give a damn what happened to him. And as an intregal and important part of this corporation, neither should have you. I can’t tolerate weakness in Domination Inc. I wasn’t afraid to discharge Quadruple R and I’m certainly not afraid to turn you loose either. Mia! Finish it, NOW!”

Mia bends down and again mashes lips with KRC. KRC’s arms and legs go limp. Mia throws her down on the canvas and sticks a foot on her chest. Suave: “I DON’T BELIEVE IT. ONE. TWO. TH-NO! HOLY CRAP! KRC JUST PULLED HER SHOULDER UP AND THEN SWATTED MIA’S LEGS OUT FROM UNDER HER! MR. McMANN CAN’T BELIEVE IT!” Mia hits head first and stays down. KRC motions and a mic is thrown to her. KRC: “Hey Mr. McMann! I’ve got my own little surprise for you tonight.” She pulls off a protective band-aid type strip from her lips. KRC: “I guess Quad R definitely wasn’t the mole because he wasn’t the one who told me ALL about your little plan tonight.” Mr. McMann’s face turns flush red. He gestures to the other members of Domination Inc. McMann: “GET HER! TAKE HER OUT NOW!” Daisy Cutter-Bomb hops in the ring. KRC and her start to slug it out. Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit- the PCW Tag Team Champions, also make a move towards the ring. Walstreit gets clobbered from behind. Suave: “IT’S RAHM-BO…RAHM EMANUEL OF THE PROGRESSIVE ALLIANCE- F-BOMB! EMANUEL DROPS AN F-BOMB ON KIRK WALSTREIT!” Hillary Clinton runs down with the Clinton Political Pitbulls- James Carville and Paul Begala, and the former PCW Tag Team Champions Jack and Bull Schett. Emanuel F-Bombs both D.B. Ruff and Connor Justice of Rough Justice and chase Corporate Legal Counsel Felcher and Felcher around the ring. Carville and Begala run Mr. McMann and Corporate Enforcer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot back to the locker room area. The Schetts go right for Walstreit and Big Oil. Suave: “THERE THEY GO! THE SCHETTS HAVE WAITED A LONG TIME TO GET THEIR HANDS ON THE PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!”

KRC and Daisy continue to brawl. Mia begins to move. She gets up and sneaks behind KRC. Suave: “MIA’S UP! AND KRC DOESN’T SEE HER!” Mia gets ready to pucker up. KRC whirls around, grabs her, and throws her into Daisy Cutter-Bomb. Mia’s lips hit Daisy’s skin and the drug that causes temporary paralysis takes it effect. Daisy staggers forward. KRC grabs both and sticks their heads underneath her armpits. Suave: “DOUBLE DDT! KRC LIFTS MIA UP! POLITICS OF PERSONAL DESTRUCTION!” KRC covers. 1…2…3.

WINNER: KATHRYN RANDALL COLLINS

Suave: “HOLY CRAP! WHAT A TURN OF EVENTS! FIRST, DOMINATION INC. TURNS ON KRC. THEN MIA DELIVERS THE LONG KISS GOODNIGHT…BUT KRC IS READY FOR IT. THEN THE PROGRESSIVE ALLIANCE COMING DOWN TO HELP KRC. IS SHE BACK IN THE PROGRESSIVE ALLIANCE?” Hillary Clinton enters the ring and holds KRC’s arms up. Suave: “YES! KRC BACK IN THE PROGRESSIVE ALLIANCE. BRIAN! WHAT DO YOU THINK? BRIAN! BRIAN?” Suave looks down. Lamb’s fainted and on the floor. Suave: “Apparently, too much girl on girl contact got to him.”

PCW NEWSLINE

American Patriots Infighting Continues…

Insiders within the American Patriots report that Executive Director Michael Steele continues to struggle to bring together the disparate elements of the American Patriots. Steele has enlisted the help of a young American Patriot- Eric Cantor- to help bridge the gap and make the American Patriots relevant again. But with so many strong personalities heading up the various splnter groups, Steele’s and Cantor’s job could continue to be complicated at best.

McCain’s Marauders headed up by ‘The Straight Shootin’ Maverick’ John McCain continue to stay out of the American Patriots. ‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin is busy promoting SarahPAC. RINO (Republican in Name Only) just arrived on the scene with Arlen Spector, Olympia Snowe, and Susan Collins and promises to throw another monkey wrench into the mix.

Steele’s challenge over the next few months is to find a way to pull the American Patriots back together

THE LATEST ON QUADRUPLE R
Quadruple R is now listed in good condition and should be released from the hospital in the next couple days.

W REHABILITATION TEAM FORMS
Suave: “Okay. We’re back live here on PCW Extreme Political TV and-” A huge chorus of boos erupts. Suave: “Okay. Ari Fleischer, Dana Perino, and Andrew Card are headed to the ring. Why? I guess we’re going to find out shortly.” Fleischer takes the mic. Fleischer: “That’s fine. Go ahead and boo. We don’t care. We’ve taken harder shots than that. We can take it.” Perino: “After the shabby way former PCW CEO George W was treated on his final night here and as a result of the continued cheap shots by certain members of the Progressive Alliance at him, we’re here to make clear if we find out that anyone, that means ANYONE, who continues to bash George W. then they’re going to have to deal with us.” Card: “That’s right. George W. continues to take a bad rap after a couple months of being out of office and we’re going to set the record straight. You can call us- the W Rehabilitation Team.” Card drops the mic and the three leave. Suave: “Okay. It’s okay to stick up for your boss…even if he royally screws up- OW! OW! STOP IT! LET GO OF ME..”

————-

Other Political Blogs:
Democrats and Republicans: The Iowa Brigade, Taxed, Union Break, Earl Says, Caffienated Politics, Virginia Dem, 58Goo, Conservative Wanderer, Liberal Doomsayer, AC360, Red, Brown, and Blue, Around Teh Table, Real Weird Politics, D.  Nambiar,
Sarah Palin:  Pumas for Palin, CNN, Underground Conservative, Palintology, VotingFemale, Essence of America, zzzlist, Mudflats,

.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..

PCW Women’s Champion Opal Winfree vs. Kathryn Randall Collins for the PCW Women’s Title

KATHRYN RANDALL COLLINS aka KRC w/The McMann Corporation (McMann Corporation)
vs. ‘Empress Queen of All Media’ OPAL WINFREE © w/Barack Obama and Opal’s Flock- New Age Sensitive Guy and Soccer Mom)
Suave:
“We’ve had two title changes already tonight. Are we about to see a third?” The McMann Corporation huddle together outside the ring. The bell rings and Collins and Winfree lock up. Collins tries to switches and gets behind Winfree. Takedown by Winfree. Modified surfboard by Winfree. Daisy Cutter-Bomb (McMann Corp) immediately runs in and pushes Winfree off. Winfree chops at Daisy. KRC climbs the rope and hits a DDT. KRC covers. 1…2. Easy kick out by Winfree. KRC goes on top again for a top rope Frankensteiner. Soccer Mom (Opal’s Flock), yells “WE MUST DO IT FOR THE CHILDREN!” and goes to push KRC from behind. D.B. Ruff of the McMann Corporation runs over and pulls her off the ring apron sending her toppling down. KRC attempts a missile dropkick from the top rope and misses. Winfree executes two consecutive powerbombs. She climbs to the top rope for a splash and Quadruple R (McMann Corp) runs over and pastes her with a steel-folding chair. New Age Sensitive Guy (Opal’s Flock) tries to take the chair away from Quadruple R. Suave: “NEW AGE SENSITIVE GUY DOESN’T SEE CONNOR JUSTICE (McMann Corp) BEHIND HIM… *ZZZZAP* TASER! TASER!” Justice throws New Age Sensitive Guy to the ground. KRC picks Opal up by the hair and flings her face down onto the canvas. KRC pulls the PCW Women’s champ up and whips her into the corner. Suave: “Big splash coming…NO! OPAL MOVED JUST IN TIME!”

KRC staggers backwards. Atomic drop by Opal. Body slam. Leg drop. Opal launches herself backwards into the ropes. Daisy jumps on the ring apron and throws Opal a chair. *WHAP* Suave: “VAN DAMINATOR! VAN DAMINATOR! KRC JUST KICKED THAT CHAIR INTO OPAL’S FACE! Opal’s in trouble!” Barack Obama is on the ring apron and shouting encouragement to a woozy Winfree. Suave: “DAISY CUTTER-BOMB IN THE RING! HOLY CRAP! DAISY CUTTER POWER-BOMB ON OPAL WINFREE! KRC FOR THE COVER. ONE…TWO…NO! HERE COMES THE CLINTON POLITICAL PITBULLS!” James Carville and Paul Begala hit the ring and double team clotheslines Daisy Cutter-Bomb. Big Oil climbs into the ring and grabs Begala from behind. Suave: “Oh, oh. This isn’t good for Paul Begala.” Grab throat. Lift. Chokeslam. Begala bounces off the canvas. Carville tries to get out while the getting’s good. Big Oil drags him back in. Grab throat. Lift. Chokeslam. Daisy lifts Opal up again for another Daisy Cutter Power-Bomb. Obama jumps in the ring and tries to stop her. Quadruple R grabs Obama and whips him into the corner. Daisy up and wham! Daisy Cutter Power-Bomb. KRC calls for a table. Kirk Walstreit slides it in and KRC sets it up. Daisy drags Opal up one more time. Suave: “THEY’RE GOING TO DO IT AGAIN!” Opal up. Daisy Cutter Power-Bomb through the table. Crowd: “PCW…PCW!” KRC calls for another table. Suave: “WHAT? JUST PIN HER ALREADY!” Again, Walstreit slides in a table. KRC sets up on the top rope corner turnbuckle. Daisy drags Opal over to her and sets her up. Suave: “OPAL’S SET. HERE COMES SOCCER MOM. DAISY GRABS HER! DAISY CUTTER POWER-BOMB! DDT THROUGH THE TABLE ON THE PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION!” Crowd: “THIS MATCH RULES! (clap clap clap-clap-clap) THIS MATCH RULES (clap clap clap-clap-clap) Suave: “DAISY CUTTER-BOMB JUST OBLITERATED SOCCER MOM WITH A DAISY CUTTER POWER-BOMB. THEN KRC DDT’S OPAL FROM THE TOP ROPE THROUGH THE TABLE! KRC COVERS… ONE…TWO…THREE! THAT’S IT! WE’VE GOT A NEW PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION!”

WINNER AND NEW PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION: KATHRYN RANDALL COLLINS (McMann Corporation)

Suave: “WE ARE THREE OUT OF THREE IN NEW CHAMPIONS TONIGHT! THE McMANN CORPORATION NOW HAS TWO PCW TITLES IN THEIR STABLE! AND WE’VE GOT ONE MORE TO GO! WHAT A NIGHT!”

BACKSTAGE
PCW Owner Bubba Jackson’s office. The two Westville city policeman are still there. Suave: “Still nothing from Bubba Jackson about who the new PCW CEO is. We’ll keep an eye on that door.”

McMANN CORPORATE SUITE
‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann returns to a waiting CFO Gordon Guyko. Guyko: “Well? Did you get our man? McMann: “It took some of our Wall Street bail out money to do it, but we got our guy.” Guyko: “Excellent. Greed is good. Greed is really, really good.” McMann: “Yes, it is.”

*YEEEEEEE-AHHHHHHHHH!*

Suave: “Of course, that’s the unmistakable calling card of one, ‘American Screamer’ Howard Dean.” Dean, Nancy Pelosi, Steny Hoyer and Harry Reid (Progressive Alliance) come to the ring. O’Beck Bahama and Barack Obama follow. Suave: “We are minutes away from the PCW Title match. O’Beck Bahama is here. Now, we wait for the PCW Champion.”

GEORGE W’S OFFICE
George W works on paperwork. He aide de camp Dick fumes. Dick: “I still say there’s no reason why we shouldn’t be out there for this match. We are the leaders of the American Patriots.” W.: “Dick, I’m not worried about it. This is what John McCain wanted.” Dick: “John McCain can kiss my ass!” Dick stomps out.

Suave: “Well. Dick seems a little bent.” American Patriots John Boehner and Mitch McConnell lead the way for McCain and the PCW Champion Starz N. Stripes. Suave: Starz N. Stripes’ title reign is over eight months. Can he extend it even further tonight? We will find out soon enough.”

Both men in the ring now. Charlene Ann Beckworth climbs in to do the ring announcing. Charlene Ann: “LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. THIS MATCH IS FOR THE PCW CHAMPIONSHIP! IN THIS CORNER, SECONDED BY ‘THE NATURAL’ BARACK OBAMA, HE’S THE ‘NEW ROOKIE SENSATION’ O’BECK BAHAMA!” Roughly half the crowd stands and cheers on Bahama. Charlene Ann: “AND IN THE OTHER CORNER, SECONDED BY ‘STRAIGHT SHOOTIN’’ JOHN McCAIN, HE’S THE ‘ORIGINAL ROOKIE SENSATION’ AND THE CURRENT PCW CHAMPION- STARZ N. STRIPES!” The other half stand and cheer. Suave: “You can feel the buzz in the air. We could have history in the making here tonight.”

BACKSTAGE
PCW Owner Bubba Jackson’s office. The two Westville city policeman stand in place.

Suave: “Okay, still no change with Bubba. We’re about ready to go. Starz and Bahama for the PCW Title.

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