PCW Rewind: BCEW (PCW) Extreme Election Night 2006

OPEN
“LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!” Johnny Suave shouts, “WELCOME TO BCEW EXTREME ELECTION NIGHT 2006!” The crowd chants ‘BCEW!’ and wave various placards in support of either the American Patriots or the Progressive Alliance. “My name is Johnny Suave and with me tonight, thank God, is a life size cardboard cut-out of Shania Twain. We are live tonight at the BCEW Hall in Eagle Rock, Ohio.” Suave runs down the card for the night leading up to the title defense by “No Frills” Chris Escondido against the Progressive Alliance’s Justin Sufferable. Suave points out that Sufferable is not 100% going into tonight. “Let’s recap what happened last week,” he says.

REPLAY- JUSTIN SUFFERABLE PROMO FROM BCEW POLITICS IS WAR CABLE TV SHOW
“Not just intolerable. Not just unbearable. I am Justin Sufferable!” he said. Sufferable told the BCEW Champion “No Frills” Chris Escondido that he’d better be ready for an all out extreme war. He said the last time BCEW Politics Is War was on the air, he got screwed out of his title shot and it left a bad taste in his mouth- bad enough that he actually threw up. “At BCEW Extreme Election Night, nothing will stop me from my destiny, winning the BCEW Title,” Sufferable said and then added, “My name is Justin Sufferable and I approved this mess-” “WHAT THE HELL!” Suave shouted as Triple R (Road Rage Randy) attacked Sufferable with a lead pipe. “What is he doing?” Triple R whacked away at the right knee of Sufferable. “TRIPLE R IS GOING TONYA HARDING ON JUSTIN SUFFERABLE!” said Suave. Immediately, Howard Dean, Nancy Pelosi, Pith Lord Harry Reid raced in to stop Triple R. Finally, several members of the Progressive Alliance have Triple R removed while Dean tended to Justin Sufferable. Later, paramedics came in and stretchered Sufferable out to a waiting ambulance.

“There you have it,” Suave says. “Can Justin Sufferable make through the match tonight? Did Triple R- Road Rage Randy do enough damage that Sufferable will be denied yet again the BCEW Title?”

JOY BEHAR/ELISABETH HASSELBECK SEGMENT
“Well, we usually don’t have celebrities show up here,” Suave says. The View’s Joy Behar and Elisabeth Hasselbeck appear in the ring as guest ring announcers for the first match. Behar starts by announcing that she wanted to discuss the remarks made by the Massachusetts Blueblood JFK last week. Behar states that JFK should have kept his mouth shut. “Thank God John F’n Kerry isn’t president,” Hasselbeck says. “He is so elitist!” Behar responds by stating Kerry made a mistake. “How many jokes has George W screwed up?” she asks. “It’s half my act!” Hasselbeck and Behar bicker. “If people are stupid enough to think that the war has been a good thing, then go ahead,” Behar snaps. “WHOOOAAAAAAAA!” the crowd goes. “Oh yeah,” Hasselbeck returns. “Yeah!” Behar says. Hasselbeck throws down the mic and tackles Behar. “YES!” Suave shouts as the crowd stands up. “CATFIGHT!” Suave screeches, “CATFIGHT!” Hasselbeck and Behar continues to roll around in the ring. “You know, it’s not Paris Hilton or Jessica Alba,” Suave comments, “but it’ll do.”

Thankfully, Charlene Ann Beckworth comes out to announce the first match after the two View hosts roll out of the ring.

MATCH #1- “THE REAL TENNESSEAN” BOB CORKER (American Patriots) vs. “FANCY” HAROLD FORD (Progressive Alliance)
Suave advises that this match could get really nasty. The bell rings and we’re off. “BCEW Extreme Election Night 2006 is underway,” proclaims Suave. Corker and Ford tie up in the middle of the ring. Both men trade slaps to the chest. Corker then launches Ford into the ropes and clotheslines him coming back off. Ford reverses and throws Corker into the ropes and lands a big boot to the chin. Ford then launches himself off the ropes at Corker. Corker bends down and flips Ford over the top rope out of the ring. “BCEW!” the crowd chants as Ford lands hard outside. Corker grabs a chair and pastes Ford with it. Then Corker flings Ford into the steel barricade. Corker tries to clothesline Ford over the barricade into the crowd, Ford moves and The Real Tennessean flies over the barricade. Ford stands up on the barricade to splash Corker, Corker kicks the barricade and Ford crotches himself on the steel bar. “WOW!” Suave says, “that’s a whole new level of pain right there.” The first “holy s—” chant of the night appears. Ford tips off the barricade onto the floor. Corker hits an elbow drop, a few clubbing blows to the back. He grabs a table and sets it up on the outside. A couple more clubbing blows and then Corker places Ford on the table and goes up on the ring apron. “INCOMING!” Suave says as Corker leaps off the edge of the ring. But in the time it took for Corker to climb back on the ring,

“The Natural” Barack Obama races out and pulls Ford off the table just as Corker plows through and breaks the table cleanly in half. “HOLY CRAP!” Suave shouts out as another “BCEW” chant breaks out. “The Natural” just saved Ford’s ass on that one.” Ford goes on offense. He bounces Corker’s head off the corner turnbuckle. Flings him into the ring steps. Snap suplex onto the floor. Ford picks up Corker by the hair and tosses him back into the ring. Then Ford grabs a chair and whaps him in the back with it. Ford rolls Corker onto the chair and climbs up to the top rope. He hits a big frog splash crushing Corker on the steel chair. “Corker’s in trouble,” Suave says as Ford continues to pummel away at the “Real Tennessean.” Ford hits another snap suplex followed by a hurrican-rama and then a back neckbreaker that almost tears Corker in half. Ford goes outside and grabs a table of his own. He sets it up in the ring and puts Corker on it. Ford goes up to the top rope.

Suddenly, The Mastermind Karl Rove comes out and pushes Ford off the top rope onto the floor below. “HOLY CRAP!” Suave says. “Ford and Corker are both down.” Corker manages to fall off the table and pull himself up first. Ford staggers outside the ring. Corker baseball slides under the bottom rope and drills Ford, pushing him back into the barricade. Corker then hits a low blow, rakes the eyes, and then throws Ford back into the ring. Corker sets the table straight up in the corner of the ring. Ford staggers up, doesn’t see Corker. Ford turns and Corker gores him and puts him through the table. “HOLY CRAP!” Suave says again. “WOW! Ford’s out.” Corker covers. 1-2-3.

WINNER: “THE REAL TENNESSEAN” BOB CORKER

“A tough one for the “Real Tennessean” Bob Corker, but the American Patriots get the pinfall from the first match of the night,” Suave says.

GREEN WORLD ORDER PROMO
Peacenik #1 & 2 stand behind Felcher and Felcher, extreme attorneys at law and counsel for the Green World Order. R Felcher states that tonight the BCEW Tag Team belts will go to a diverse, tolerant, peaceful, progressive, and worthy tag team. B Felcher says that because of their legal maneuvering, the Green World Order will finally get the opportunity that they’ve been long since denied. “Fairness dictates that it’s time for the Green World Order to have their turn as the BCEW tag team champions!” R Felcher claims.

“Yeah, I guess we’ll see just how ‘fair’ the night goes,” Suave cracks. Suave starts into the next match. He recaps the first match up between Joe Lieberman and Ned Lamont. The replay shows that Lieberman and Lamont have been through a war. As Lamont goes for a spear, Lieberman trips him up with a drop toe hold and locks on the abdominal stretch. The Bloggers then make a move to intervene. Behind Lieberman, Daily Kos slips in the ring wearing brass knuckles. Eric Alterman and Media Matters distracts Lieberman and Daily Kos nails him with the brass knucks. Media Matters rolls Lieberman over and points Lamont to make the cover.

MATCH #2- THREE WAY DANCE- JOE LIEBERMAN (Independent), NED LAMONT (Progressive Alliance), and ALAN SCHLESINGER (American Patriots)
“All right, the Left Wing Bloggers Daily Kos, Media Matters for America, and Eric Alterman were the difference the last time Lieberman and Lamont met up,” explained Suave. “This time, Alan Schlesinger may be the wild card of the group.” The bell rings and immediately the Bloggers pile into the ring and attack Lieberman. Schlesinger joins in. “HOLY CRAP! IT’S FIVE AGAINST ONE!” Suave says as the referee is powerless to prevent the outside interference. Lieberman is whipped into the ropes and Daily Kos and Media Matters set to double team him. Lieberman clotheslines the two bloggers but then gets blindsided by Eric Alterman.

The Bomb Brothers (A. Tom Bomb, Hy Drogen Bomb, and Newt Tron Bomb) runs out. “HERE THEY COME!” Suave says as the crowd stands up and cheers, “THE ODDS HAVE JUST BEEN EVENED UP!” A-Bomb power slams Eric Alterman. H-Bomb lifts Daily Kos in the air and tosses him over the top rope through a ringside table. “HOLY CRAP!” Suave says as Daily Kos is buried amongst the remains of the table. “BCEW!…BCEW!” chants the crowd. A-Bomb corners Alan Schlesinger. Schlesinger desperately calls out to the American Patriots for help. As A-Bomb lifts him up and Newt Tron Bomb sets a table up in the ring, Schlesinger calls out for Dick, or The Mastermind Karl Rove, or even the Rookie Sensation Starz N. Stripes. No help arrives and A-Bomb power A-Bombs Schlesinger through the table. Lieberman covers and Schlesinger is eliminated. The crowd serenades Schlesinger with the ‘na, na. hey-hey-hey goodbye’ song.

H-Bomb decks Media Matters and then climbs out of the ring. He grabs Media Matters’s legs and crotches him on the ringpost. H-Bomb then rolls him out of the ring. “IT’S DOWN TO LIEBERMAN AND LAMONT NOW!” Suave says. “Now we’ll find out just what Lamont is made of.” Lamont appears unsure and turns around looking for help. He calls for The American Screamer Howard Dean, “The Natural” Barack Obama, or anyone else from the Progressive Alliance. Like Schlesinger, no help arrives. “I think its safe to say that the ‘Joe-mentum’ is on Lieberman’s side now,” Suave says. Suddenly, another left wing blogger, Arianna Huffington, shrieks down the aisle towards the ring to help Lamont and runs into the manager of the Bomb Brothers Daisy Cutter-Bomb. Daisy lays her out with a wicked clothesline. Lieberman stomps his foot three times and sets him up for his closer. “LIEBERMAN’S GOING FOR THE ‘JOE-STOPPER!” Suave says. Lamont turns around just in time to catch a superkick right to his chin. “That’s a pretty good kick for an old guy,” Suave cracks. “I didn’t think he could get his leg that high.” Lamont drops as if he’s been shot. Lieberman covers and that’s the match.

WINNER: JOE LIEBERMAN

Huffington throws a fit and stomps around at ringside as Joe holds up his hand in victory. “Well, that’s one for the American Patriots; one for the independents,” Suave advises. “We’ve got Mike DeWine taking on Sherrod Brown coming up and-”

Suave gets interrupted by Mike Walker, the manager of the Pizza Galaxy. Mike demands to know where Tessa is being held. “I don’t know,” Suave replies. “I have nothing to do with-” Seg McMann appears in the ring. “Great,” Suave mumbles. “I was hoping I wouldn’t see him tonight.” Seg tells Mike ‘not to worry.’ “She’s just hanging out at her new home.” Skip, president of the Alpha Sigma Sigma fraternity, appears on the big screen television. “She makes a great wall decoration,” Skip says and points to where a cryogenically frozen BCEW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl Tessa Martin hangs. Seg then makes a smart ass remarks to Mike that Tessa ‘probably won’t be at work tonight.’ He starts to laugh and turns his back on Mike. Mike climbs into the ring and clubs Seg in the back with his pizza paddle. “F### him up Mike, f### him up!” chants the crowd. Mike then whacks the Sports Entertainment Guy over and over with the pizza paddle. Another “BCEW” chant follows. Then Mike points at Skip and tells him he’s on his way.

“Wow. Mike’s a little pissed off. Probably because he’s losing money on deliveries that can’t be made,” Suave explains. In the ring, Seg McMann looks a mess. “Can someone scrape him out of the ring so we can have our next match?” Suave asks.

MATCH #3- MIKE DeWINE (American Patriots) vs. SHERROD BROWN (Progressive Alliance)
Brown comes out on fire. Chops, punches. Brown whips DeWine into the ropes and delivers a back body drop. Leg drop. Quick cover. DeWine kicks out. “Brown not messing around tonight,” Suave observes. “He is all business.” Brown again whips DeWine into the ropes and another back body drop. Brown reverse chinlocks DeWine. Then he lifts DeWine in the air and suplexes him. Again, Brown covers. DeWine barely escapes. DeWine checks out of the ring and Brown follows. They brawl. Shoulder block by Brown followed by a leg drop. Brown elbow drops DeWine. DeWine scores a dropkick to the leg and then sentons Brown to the floor. “DeWine’s finally getting some offense in.” Suave notes.

“Boots to Brown. DeWine rolls him back in the ring, follows with sling shot splash into the ring and DeWine covers for a 2 count. DeWine works the arm now with an arm bar. Brown fights, but DeWine clubs him right back down. Arm bar into a top wristlock. Brown fights to his feet. Off the ropes, springing leg lariat by DeWine. A clothesline and a back springing elbow gets DeWine another 2 count. He goes to the 2nd rope… “WHAT’S THIS?” Suave says, “I DON’T BELIEVE WHO JUST CAME TO RINGSIDE!” DeWine looks horrified as Ohio Governor Bob Taft, former Representative Bob Ney, and former fund raiser Tom Noe appears. DeWine tells them he doesn’t need their help. Distracted, DeWine gets rolled up by Brown for a 2 count. “THAT WAS CLOSE!” Suave shouts out. DeWine continues to motion the scandal ridden three to go away. Taft grabs a steel folding chair and gets into the ring. “What the hell is HE doing?” Suave asks. Brown doesn’t see Taft behind him. Taft swings the chair, at the last second Brown ducks out of the way, and Taft plasters DeWine in the face with the chair. The crowd directs a “You f***ed up, you f***ed up!” chant at Bob Taft, Suave goes “HOLY CRAP!” and Brown covers for the win.

WINNER: SHERROD BROWN

“Bob Taft, Bob Ney, and Tom Noe brings down Mike DeWine tonight,” Suave says. “Score one for the Progressive Alliance!”

MATCH #4- BCEW TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH- PEACENIK #1 & 2 of the Green World Order (Progressive Alliance) vs. THE DRUNKEN LUCHADORS DAN & DON- THE FLYIN’ MARTINI BROTHERS (Independent)
Extreme attorneys Felcher and Felcher joins Johnny Suave at ringside. “Swell,” he mumbles. Immediately Peacenik #1 complains about the Martini Brothers drinking in the ring. Both Martini Brothers chug a bottle of Jack Daniels and then break the bottle over their heads. “Yes, it’s a little unorthodox,” Suave explains, “but hell, they’re the champions. They can do whatever they want.”

Peacenik #1 and Don Martini to begin. Crowd chants for the Drunken Luchadors. A brief lock up and an attempted knee by Peacenik #1 that whiffs because Don staggers out of the way. Peacenik #1 tries rights now, and then the boots…and misses again. “Here we go again,” Suave says. R Felcher yells at Don Martini to stand still. Suave shoots back, “Yeah, easier said than done.” Peacenik #1 gets frustrated and rushes at Don. He clips the Drunken Luchador and sends him to the canvas. The Felchers cheer at the announcer’s table. Peacenik #1 goes for a leg drop but Dan Martini pulls Don out of the way. “Apparently Dan is the more sober one tonight,” observes Suave. A tag is made and Dan Martini gets into the ring. Peacenik #1 again tries to bull over Dan. Dan topples to the canvas and Peacenik #1 rams into the corner ringpost. “Of course, I could be wrong,” Suave says. Peacenik #1 staggers back to his corner and tags in Peacenik #2.

Dan Martini climbs to the top rope. Suave cringes. “Oooh, this can’t be a good thing.” Peacenik #2 simply waits. Dan leaps off the top rope and misses Peacenik #2 completely. “Definitely, not a good thing,” Suave says as Peacenik #2 goes for the cover but somehow Dan kicks out. “In the interest of fairness, he should have let the Green World Order pin him,” whines R Felcher. “Yes,” chimes in B Felcher. “Haven’t they been tag team champions long enough?” The other two members of the Green World Order, The Vengeful Vegan Brock Cole Lee and Peta from PETA come down to the ring. Brock Cole Lee slips a bottle of chloroform and a handkerchief to Peacenik #1. “Now what are they up to!” asks Suave. “Justice!” offers R Felcher. “That bottle of chloroform represents justice for the Green World Order.” Peacenik #1 motions #2 to throw Dan Martini into their corner. Peacenik #2 tries to lift the Drunken Luchador up- he’s dead weight. Finally, Brock Cole Lee interjects himself into the match and helps Peacenik #2 drag Dan to their corner. “It’s all over!” gloats R Felcher. D Felcher concurs, “There’s no way that-” “HERE COME THE BOMB BROTHERS!” interrupts Suave, AND THE RAVING REDNECKS-LOCKE AND LOADE!”

Suave quickly recaps how Felcher and Felcher used the judicial system to deny the Bomb Brothers or the Raving Rednecks from wrestling for the tag team title. “This is not acceptable!” R Felcher says. A-Bomb tears Peacenik #1 off the edge of the ring and slams him into the steel barricade. The bottle of chloroform drops on the floor and Earl Locke picks it up. He immediately uses it on Peacenik #1 and takes him out. Gary Loade bulldogs Brock Cole Lee and then Locke and Loade deliver a devastating 4-D Redneck Death Blast to the Vengeful Vegan. Peacenik #2 ducks out of the ring but runs into H-Bomb. “Oh, oh!” Suave warns. Peacenik #2 immediately runs back into the ring and inadvertently elbows Dan Martini in the stomach. Dan starts to look green. “HOLY CRAP! HE’S GOING FOR THEIR FINISHER!” Suave says as Peacenik #2 gets a real concerned look. “Someone stop him,” R Felcher says. Too late. Dan spews green mist…no too chunky…projectile vomits all over Peacenik #2. “WOW!” Suave exclaims. “He must have ate a lot for supper tonight!” Dan passes out and headbutts Peacenik #2. Peacenik #2 down and covered by Drunken Luchador Dan. 1-2-3. Match.

WINNER AND STILL BCEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: THE DRUNKEN LUCHADORS, DAN AND DON- THE FLYING MARTINI BROTHERS

A-Bomb grabs R Felcher; Gary Loade grabs B Felcher. Both Felchers are dragged unceremoniously into the ring. “It’s been nice knowing you guys,” Suave says, “NOT!” Locke and Loade deliver another 4-D Redneck Death Blast to B Felcher while A-Bomb and H-Bomb double-power A-Bombs R Felcher. “And that my friends,” Suave says, “is what I call a happy ending.”

JUSTIN SUFFERABLE LOOK-IN
Sufferable sits on a bench in the locker room. His right knee is heavily bandaged up and he appears to be in quite a lot of pain. “I wonder if he can tough it out,” Suave asks.

“Hold on! We’re getting a report from the Alpha Sigma Sigma house about a…HOLY CRAP! It’s an impromptu match!” Suave says.

MATCH #5- MIKE WALKER, MGR OF PIZZA GALAXY vs. GARTH BADER, OWNER OF EMPIRE PIZZA
“You know, the Star Wars references are just…weak,” opines Suave. The match begins as both men wield lethal pizza paddles like…well…lightsabers. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” Suave says. While the two men duel, one of the Alpha Sigma Sigma members, apparently the only one with a conscience, sneaks over and starts the defreezing process on the BCEW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl Tessa Martin. Mike and Bader swing their pizza paddles, parry and thrust, both looking to gain the advantage. Finally, Skip, president of the Alpha Sigma Sigma frat, tries to intervene. Mike whirls around and plasters Skip in the face with the pizza paddle. However, he leaves himself wide open to…(snicker)…Garth Bader. Bader begins to raise his pizza paddle when… “AIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!” “HOLY CRAP! TESSA’S BACK AND SHE’S GOT THE TESTICULAR CLAW ON BADER!” Suave excitedly shouts. With one swift motion, Mike swings the paddle around and pastes Bader in the kisser. He’s out and Mike covers for the win.

WINNER: MIKE WALKER, MGR OF PIZZA GALAXY

Tessa kisses the Alpha Sigma Sigma member who freed her from being frozen. Mike tells her it’s time to get back to work. “Yea. Another victory for Sports Entertainment,” Suave sarcastically notes. “Now can we get back to the wrestling?”

PROGRESSIVE ALLIANCE LOCKER ROOM
The American Screamer Howard Dean lets out a “YEEEEEAHHHHHH!” as the mood in Progressive Alliance’s locker room is generally upbeat. Dean tells Jim Webb that this is their night. Triple R-Road Rage Randy comes up to him. “Oh, this should be good,” comments Suave. Dean all but tells Triple R that he’s not welcome there and to leave. Triple R then trashes the locker room area as the other Progressive Alliance stars try to restrain him.

“Hmmmm. A little anger management problem there?” Suave asks.

AMERICAN PATRIOTS LOCKER ROOM
The mood is not so upbeat in the American Patriots locker room. The Mastermind Karl Rove tries to rally the troops and BCEW CEO George W’s aide de camp Dick looks generally pissed. “We have to have this match,” Dick implores George Allen. “It’s all riding on you.”

MATCH #6- JIM WEBB (Progressive Alliance) vs. GEORGE ALLEN (American Patriots)
“As noted, this is huge,” Suave announces. “Both sides want this match very badly.” Charlene Ann Beckworth announces an additional stipulation to the match- the first one to climb the ladder and grab a suitcase hanging in the air wins. “HOLY CRAP! IT’S A FREAKIN’ LADDER MATCH!” Suave says. The American Screamer Howard Dean comes to ringside to stand in Webb’s corner. The Mastermind Karl Rove likewise for George Allen.

Both Webb and Allen jaw at each other before the match starts. Webb immediately runs for a ladder and throws it in the ring. Webb climbs back in but Allen tosses the ladder right back out of the ring. Allen chokes Webb but he tries to fight back. Webb escapes and goes 2nd rope and then top rope. He leaps and dropkicks Allen sending him reeling across the ring. Leg drop between the ropes and Dean throws the ladder back in the ring again. Allen gets up and head butts Webb. Allen chops Webb and he is down. Allen puts the ladder in the corner. He pulls Webb up and whips him into the ladder. Allen then tosses Webb out of the ring to the floor and grabs the ladder and sets it up. Allen attempts to climb the ladder, but Webb gets back in the ring and nails him with another ladder. Webb nails Allen in the head and he is down. The crowd chants ‘BCEW’ as Webb goes up top and hits a flying elbow from the ladder. Then Webb lays the ladder on Allen, bounces off the ropes, and splashes him on the ladder. Webb grabs another ladder, sets it up and climbs. Allen somehow gets up and pushes the ladder over, Webb hits the top rope and bounces over the rope out of the ring. “HOLY CRAP!” Suave exclaims. “DID YOU SEE THAT?” Allen sets up the ladder in the corner again and climbs. Dean jumps in the ring. Then The Mastermind Karl Rove joins him. Dean and Rove brawl. Dean pushes Rove into the ladder and knocks Allen off before he can grab the suitcase.

Webb gets back in the ring and lays the ladder on Allen. Webb steps on it! The he lays the ladder on the ropes, picks up Allen and slams him to the ladder again! Webb then moves the ladder to the corner. Allen with rights tries to battle back. Webb grabs Allen and delivers big rights. Webb slams Allen on the ladder in the corner and then goes for a corner bomb…and misses. Webb staggers backwards…Allen rams the ladder to his gut and shoves him down. He grabs the ladder, sets it up and climbs. Webb climbs up the other as well. He and Allen meet at the top. Again both Rove and Dean jump into the ring to interfere. Rove tries to bring Webb down. Dean tries to pull Allen down. Suddenly, out of nowhere runs in the BCEW CEO George W, his aide de camp, Dick, and “Mr. Old School” Don Rumsfeld. “What a minute,” Suave points out, “the BCEW CEO has been all but missing over the last couple weeks. NOW, he’s come out?” W, Dick, and Rumsfeld also pull at Webb’s leg, trying to pull him down the ladder. Rumsfeld pushes too hard and suddenly the ladder goes off balance. Both Allen and Webb desperately grab at the suitcase. The ladder begins to tip over and it appears Webb has the handle of the briefcase in his grasp. Suave goes bonkers. “HOLY FREAKIN’ CRAP!” The crowd chants ‘holy s—!’ when Allen is propelled from the ring. Webb grabs the top rope and has the briefcase in his hand. “IT’S WEBB!” Suave exhalts, “JIM WEBB WINS THE MATCH!”

WINNER: JIM WEBB (Progressive Alliance)

W, Dick, The Mastermind Karl Rove, and Mr. Old School Don Rumsfeld stand in shock. The cheering crowd stands and chants “BCEW” over and over to salute a terrific match. “A HUGE win for the Progressive Alliance,” Suave says. The American Screamer Howard Dean lets out a few ‘YEEEEEEE-AHHHH!’ in celebration.

Arianna Huffington marches out to the ring and confronts Dean. She berates him in a voice that resembles Eva Gabor in Green Acres for not helping Ned Lamont defeat Joe Lieberman, calls Lieberman a traitor, calls Dean a traitor for not coming to Lamont’s aid in his dire moment of need. Huffington jumps and down and screeches at the American Screamer. “My ears hurt,” quips Suave. Then the crowd lets loose with a huge ovation as the well-endowed valet for the Bomb Brothers, Daisy Cutter-Bomb, carrying a kendo stick, rushes to the ring. Dean and Webb quickly clear the ring leaving Huffington. “Huffington’s not in a good place right now,” Suave observes. Arianna tries to flee, Daisy sweeps her legs out from under her with the kendo stick. Then she lifts Huffington up and holds her in the air, face up towards the ceiling. She eyes the announcer’s table. “Uh oh,” Suave says as Daisy tells him to move. “Better get out of the way.” Suave grabs the life-size cardboard cut-out of Shania Twain and gets out of the way. “HERE SHE GOES!” Suave announces as Daisy walks toward the edge of the ring and heaves Huffington forward. Like an airplane falling from the sky, Huffington crashes through the announcer’s table. Suave, of course goes: “HOLY CRAP! She’s dead! If she’s not; she should be.” The crowd shouts “BCEW!”

MATCH #7- BCEW WORLD TITLE MATCH- BCEW World Champion ‘NO FRILLS’ CHRIS ESCONDIDO (Independent) vs. Challenger JUSTIN SUFFERABLE (Progressive Alliance)
Justin Sufferable hobbles to the ring, still injured from the beat down delivered by Triple R- Road Rage Randy last week. Justin takes the mic and declares: “Not just intolerable. Not just unbearable. I am Justin Sufferable!” The crowd cheers and another ‘BCEW’ chant breaks out. The champion Chris Escondido follows. “It doesn’t look good for Sufferable,” Suave comments. “It’ll all come down to how much damage was done to his knee by Triple R.” Charlene Ann Beckworth finishes the introduction and the bell rings.

Sufferable rushes across the ring and starts brawling with Escondido. Both men land stiff shots. Finally Sufferable kicks Escondido in the stomach and then pushes him out of the ring. Justin follows and they start brawling outside the ring. Sufferable grabs a steel folding chair and swings at Escondido. The champ ducks and the chair clanks off the ring post. “Wow! That chair bent itself in half around the ring post!” Suave observes. Escondido kicks Sufferable and then sets him up for a suplex on the floor. He gets him up and down and goes for an early cover. Two count. Escondido finds the bent chair and waffles Sufferable with it sending him right back down. Escondido grabs a microphone cord laying on the ground and wraps it around Sufferable’s neck. He releases the cord and Sufferable flops face first down to the floor. Sufferable mule kicks Escondido in the groin. Escondido tips backwards and hits his head on the steel barricade. Sufferable drags himself up, two punches to Escondido. He flings the champ over the barricade into the crowd.

Chair shot by Sufferable. Then someone hands him a political placard. Sufferable whaps it over Escondido’s head. Another one hands him a political sign on a wooden stick. Sufferable breaks the stick over the champ’s head. Then he takes the jagged edge of the stick and rakes it across Escondido’s forehead. “HOLY CRAP. Escondido’s busted wide open!” Suave exclaims. “BCEW!…BCEW!” chants the crowd. “This makes perfect sense,” Suave says, “by taking the fight into the crowd, Sufferable doesn’t put as match stress on his injured knee.” Another chair shot by Sufferable. A bloody Escondido tries to fight back. Someone hands him a pizza pan and Escondido bends it in half over Sufferable’s head. Next, a Britney Spears CD case. Escondido smashes the case in Sufferable’s face, leaving several cuts. Then a Leonard Cohen record over Sufferable’s head. A few punches and then Escondido climbs up on the railing to the upper level of BCEW Hall. “What is he doing?” Suave wonders. “HE’S NOT!” Fifteen feet high, Escondido leaps from the railing and crushes Justin Sufferable. “BCEW!…BCEW!…BCEW!…” “HOLY CRAP!” Suave shouts. Escondido covers. Two count. Sufferable somehow manages to pull himself up. Someone from the crowd gives Escondido a prosthetic leg. Escondido looks at the guy; looks at the leg; and then crotches Sufferable with the ‘foot’ of the prosthetic leg. Then someone else gives him a prosthetic arm with hook. Escondido swings the arm and clocks Sufferable in the head. Then another hands Escondido…a prosthetic eye? Escondido throws the eye at Sufferable and doinks him in the forehead.

Escondido drags Sufferable back through the crowd towards the ring. Over the steel barricade and to the edge. Sufferable tries to throw punches. Escondido throws punches. Back and forth. Behind Sufferable, the ring apron opens up. “HOLY CRAP! IT’S TRIPLE R-ROAD RAGE RANDY!” Suave shouts, “HE WAS HIDING UNDERNEATH THE RING!” Triple R grabs a steel folding chair and swings at Sufferable. Sufferable ducks and Triple R catches Escondido flush in the face. Escondido down. Sufferable covers as Triple R can’t believe what he just did. 1-2-3. New champion.

WINNER AND NEW BCEW WORLD CHAMPION: JUSTIN SUFFERABLE of the Progressive Alliance.

The American Screamer Howard Dean and the Attack Poodle Nancy Pelosi run out to the ring to congratulate Sufferable. Triple R shakes his head in disbelief. “WE HAVE A NEW BCEW CHAMPION!” announces Suave. “AFTER ALL THESE MONTHS, JUSTIN SUFFERABLE FINALLY GETS THE GOLD! WHAT A GREAT NIGHT FOR THE PROGRESSIVE ALLIANCE!” Again, the never ending chant of “BCEW!” ends the show.

——————————

Remember, PCW Extreme Election Night 2010 is this Tuesday Night.

Delaware: Christine O’Donnell (R) vs. Chris Coons (D)

Alaska: Joe Miller (R) vs. Scott McAdam (D) vs. Lisa Murkowski (I)

Ohio: Lee Fisher (D) vs. Rob Portman (R)

Florida: Charlie Crist (I) vs. Marco Rubio (R) vs. Kendrick Meek (D)

Pennsylvania: Pat Toomey (R) vs. Joe Sestak (D)

Kentucky: Rand Paul (R) vs. Jack Conway (D)

Connecticut: Richard Blumenthal (D) vs. Linda McMahon (R)

California: Carly Fiorina (R) vs. Barbara Boxer (D)

Nevada: Harry Reid (D) vs. Sharron Angle (R)

Also:
PCW Tag Team Title Match: The Kings of Old School: Ricky Michaels/Marty Lane (D) vs. The International Hit Squad: Andy Golatta and Daniel-San (I)

PCW Title Match: Jill-Berg (R) vs. PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka (D)
If Berg wins, she will become the first woman ever to be the PCW Champion.  But the road will be perilous.  The National Organization of Women want to stop her.  Does the 95 pound Berg have a sniff of a chance against the 350 pound PCW Champion?

AND Charlie Blackwell (I-American Heartland) gets married.

5 Days to Extreme Election Night: Joy Behar and Sharron Angle Tangle

Could we see a Joy Behar appearance Tuesday night?  Angle might want to watch her back.

Rubio and Toomey Wins With Help From Sarah Palin: 10/18 PCW Extreme Political TV

PCW Extreme Political TV
Anderson Arena
Bowling Green, OH
Monday October 18th
Host: Johnny Suave

PCW Extreme Election Night 2010 Update:

Suave is in the ring and says 15 days to go before PCW’s biggest biannual pay per view show, Extreme Election Night 2010.

Nine matches have been signed.

The card as of now is:

Ohio: Lee Fisher (D) vs. Rob Portman (R)

Florida: Charlie Crist (I) vs. Marco Rubio (R) vs. Kendrick Meek (D)

Pennsylvania: Pat Toomey (R) vs. Joe Sestak (D)

Kentucky: Rand Paul (R) vs. Jack Conway (D)

Connecticut: Richard Blumenthal (D) vs. Linda McMahon (R)

California: Carly Fiorina (R) vs. Barbara Boxer (D)

Nevada: Harry Reid (D) vs. Sharron Angle (R)

Also:
PCW Tag Team Title Match: The Kings of Old School: Ricky Michaels/Marty Lane (D) vs. ???????
Will it be the International Hit Squad (I)?  Will it be Escondido and Blackwell (I-American Heartland)?  Will it be the two time PCW Tag Team Champions Jack and Joe Schmidt (I-Libertarian)?  The next three weeks will decide just who faces the Kings of Old School at Extreme Election Night.

PCW Title Match: Jill-Berg (R) vs. PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka (D)
If Berg wins, she will become the first woman ever to be the PCW Champion.  But the road will be perilous.  The National Organization of Women want to stop her.  The Axis of Evil want her title shot.  So does the extremely unpredictable Triple R (D).  Will Berg survive the next three weeks to make it to Extreme Election Night?  And if so, does the 95 pound Berg have a sniff of a chance against the 350 pound PCW Champion?

Suave informs everyone that tonight’s Extreme Election Night showcase match will be a three way tag team dance:

Kendrick Meek (FLA) and Joe Sestak (PA)- Democrats
vs.
Marco Rubio (FLA) and Pat Toomey (PA)- Republicans
vs.
Charlie Crist (FLA) and a mystery partner- Independents

Whoopi Goldberg and Joy Behar of the View…


Whoopi Goldberg and Joy Behar

…came out and demanded that Elisabeth Hasselbeck come out.  Warily, Hasselbeck…


Elisabeth Hasselbeck

…comes out.  Goldberg and Behar start in on the incident that happened last week on the View with Bill O’Reilly.

Behar said that O’Reilly embarrassed them on national TV and since he wasn’t here tonight she was going to take it out on Hasselbeck.  Hasselbeck tries to back away but Goldberg throws a chair in the ring.  Behar drop-toeholds Hasselbeck on it.  She lifts Hasselbeck up for a superplex onto the chair but Hasselbeck headbutts her away.  Goldberg grabs the arm and rocket launches Hasselbeck onto the chair.  Then the crowd roars when…


Bill O’Reilly

…Bill O’Reilly runs down.  O’Reilly brings in a sign from the crowd and KOed Goldberg with it.  O’Reilly unwraps it to reveal a Do Not Enter sign and then takes out Behar with it.  Then…


Markos Moulitsas


Arianna Huffington


Keith Olbermann


‘Hardball’ Chris Matthews

…the Angry Left-Wing Bloggers race down.  Markos in first, O’Reilly DDTs him. Low-blow by Arianna gets his attention.  She blinds O’Reilly with hairspray and…


Sean Hannity


‘The Queen of Political Extreme’ Ann Coulter


Glenn Beck

…the rest of the Right Wing Mean Machine come to the ring.  The Queen of Political Extreme Ann Coulter doesn’t like what Arianna did, so we have a catfight.  Olbermann pulls Coulter away, but she goes low and Beck DDTs him on the sign.

—————-

Backstage, Paige McGillicutty…


Paige McGillicutty

…has former Bush White House Press Secretary Dana Perino (R) and New York Times’s columnist Maureen Dowd with her.

Dowd comments about the Republican ‘mean girls.’  She calls it the era of Republican Mean Girls and describes them as ‘grown-up versions of those teenage tormentors who would steal your boyfriend, spray-paint your locker and, just for good measure, spread rumors that you were pregnant.’   Dowd calls them the ‘ideal nihilistic cheerleaders for an angry electorate.’

Perino then responds that her spiel about mean Republican and conservative women is stereotypical and uncalled for.   When asked to identify just who they were, Dowd quickly spat out Jan, Meg, Carly, Sharron, Linda, Michele, Queen Bee Sarah and sweet wannabe Christine.

Perino says Dowd lists the usual suspects — as in, those expected to win.  Perino says she’s fortunate to have met a lot of women from both sides of the aisle — and with few exceptions she likes them all.   Dowd says they co-opted and ratcheted up the disgust with the status quo that originally helped Barack Obama by belittling the president’s manhood, making snide comments about a rival’s hair, or ripping an opponent for spending money on a men’s fashion show.

Perino: “Can women have moments they aren’t proud of?   Sure. But to write all conservative and Republican women off as mean is . . . mean.”

Dowd shoots back that Perino wants to see who’s ‘mean?  Perino tells her to bring it on.  “I handled that cranky old ***** Helen Thomas when I was press secretary, I can handle you.”

McGillicutty wisely steps back as Perino and Dowd attack each other and start rolling around on the ground.  Suave: “CAT-FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!  CAT-FIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!

————


Kimber Marshall

Kimber Marshall introduces the first match of the night.

MATCH #1- PCW Television Title Match

Ken Worth- The American Trucker (I-American Heartland) (c)
vs.
Jordan Metzger (D)

Andy Riley and Paddy O’Kennedy- The Boston Strangler (D) come down to the ring and yell at Worth.  Even with the support, Metzger didn’t get his first offense in until the 3:54 mark after Worth tossed him around the ring.  Worth hits  a neckbreaker, but misses a top rope headbutt at 6:25.  Metzger tries a suplex, but Worth turned it into a DDT followed by the Jake Brake for a three count.

WINNER AND STILL PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION: Ken Worth- The American Trucker @ 6:49

Riley and O’Kennedy tended to Metzger at ringside after the match.

—————————————-

And now, a message from God:

———————-

Suave wonders what the hell that was all about?  Then he recaps Charlie Blackwell’s (I-American Heartland) proposal to his girlfriend Kenzie Blair last week…

Replay: Post-Escondido & Blackwell w/Kenzie Blair ringside) and the International Hit Squad match
Post-match, Blackwell cut a great promo saying that Blair, his fiancee, is the greatest person ever to live.  He also said he was tired of living alone and ready to settle down so he proposed to her a second time in the ring and set a date for the wedding- November 2nd at PCW Extreme Election Night 2010.

Suave wonders if that’s a good idea.

MATCH #2 PCW Extreme Election Night Preview Match
Marco Rubio (R-Fla) and Pat Toomey (R-Pa)
vs.
Kendrick Meek (D-Fla) and Joe Sestak (D-Pa)
vs.
Charlie Crist (I-Fla) and ????

After Kimber Marshall finishes announcing the first five in the match, she announces the sixth…


Lisa Murkowski (I)

Murkowski and Crist storm the ring and wade into Rubio and Meek.  The referee points Murkowski back to the corner and Rubio and Meek lock-up.  The lock-up ends with a Crist go-behind.  Meek with a standing switch but Rubio also makes the switch and applies an armlock.  Back up, Rubio wrenches the arm and drags Meek to the corner where he pounds away at him.  Crist joins in and gets a few shots in.  Meek comes back with some strikes…

…Outside the ring, Sestak goes for a Spear but he hits the barricade as Murkowski moves out of the way.  Charlie Crist over and whips Sestak into the steel steps.  Crist throws him back in the ring and Murkowski makes the cover…1…2…3.

ELIMINATED: Kendrick Meek and Joe Sestak

End Match Summary
…at 10:05…


Joe Miller (R)

…Joe Miller (R-Alaska) ran down and slid a chair into the ring.  Crist and Rubio fight over the chair.  Murkowski tries to help, but the crowd roars when…


‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin (R)

…Sarah Palin raced to the ring.  Palin climbed up and leaped off the top rope before Charlie Crist could stop her and gave Murkowski a DDT through a table at ringside.  Rubio then dove off the top rope and landed on both Murkowski and Crist.  As Crist staggered back to the ring Pat Toomey gave him a flip knee to the back of his head and scored the three count.

WINNER: Marco Rubio (R-Fla) and Pat Toomey (R-Pa) @ 11:22

Johnny Suave inteviewed Lisa Murkowski from mid-ring.  The fans cheered Palin and Murkowski exploded.  She tells the crowd they weren’t with her before and she didn’t need the “f—in’ inbred morons tonight.”  Murkowski ripped on the fans in the cheap seats and said it’s unfortunate that the Republicans turned their back on her in Alaska to support Joe Miller.  Murkowski challenged Miller to a match at PCW Extreme Election Night.

The crowd didn’t react until Miller actually walked out, but when he did they popped.   Palin tried to stop Miller from confronting Murkowski but he shoved her aside.  Miller stared down Murkowski.

————————-

Backstage, the camera follows Triple R (D)…


Road Rage Randy (Triple R)

…who’s followed by the “One Man Hollywood A-List” Stone Chism (D) and Khalid- El (Axis of Evil) as he runs down the halls of Anderson Arena looking for Nancy Pelosi’s office.  They finally locate her deep in the bowels of the building and Triple R barges in.


Nancy Pelosi (D)

Pelosi: “FOR THE LAST TIME, WE ARE NOT LOSING THE LEADERSHIP OF THE  PCW COMPETITION COMMITTEE!”  She sees Triple R, etal in her office and slams down the phone.  Pelosi demands to know why the three are in her office.  Each one tries to talk over the other until Pelosi shouts for them to talk one at a time.  Triple R demands that Pelosi replace Jill Berg (R) in the PCW Title Match at Extreme Election Night with him.  Chism and Khalid-El also make the same request.  Pelosi explains that it’s totally out of her hands but she can do something for them.  Pelosi books Triple R vs. Stone Chism vs. Khalid-El next week in a Number One Contender’s match and the winner will face the winner of the Jill-Berg- Yamamoto Tanaka (D) match for the PCW Title after Extreme Election Night.

Triple R wants to know where Harry Reid (D-Nv) is.

In another part of the backstage area, Reid is carefully walking down the hall, checking both ways as he goes.  Suddenly, Sharron Angle (R-Nv) jumps him and they start brawling down the hallway.

MAIN EVENT- WINNER GETS A SHOT AT THE PCW TAG TEAM TITLE AT EXTREME ELECTION NIGHT

‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido & Charlie Blackwell w/Kenzie Blair (I-American Heartland)
vs.

The International Hit Squad: Andy Golatta and Daniel-San w/Mrs. Miyagi (I)
vs.
Jack and Joe Schmidt w/Jim Schmidt and Hans Gruber- The Extreme German Schnauzer (Libertarian)

Elimination Rules apply.

…Golatta ducks a springboard moonsault but catches a spinning kick.  Jack Schmidt covers but Golatta powers out at two.  Golatta with a clothesline and some stomps.  Blackwell in for Escondido and hits some forearms.  Escondido snaps Jack’s neck off the mat before he leaves.  Blackwell makes the cover for two.  Blackwell hits a jawbreaker and a bridging suplex for two more.  Golatta goes for a back body drop but Blackwell wheel barrels his way out.  Jack goes for an armbar.  Golatta resists and misses a clothesline.  Blackwell rolls him up for two.  He nails a low dropkick but goes down to a shoulderblock by Jack.  Joe Schmidt tags in and drops Blackwell with a punch.  He ducks a clothesline and monkey flips Blackwell who lands on his feet.  Blackwell comes back with an armdrag but Joe hits a backbreaker.  Blackwell with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker on Joe. Golatta tags out to Daniel-San.  He attacks with a series of kicks and then rolls him up into the Cattle Mutilation.  Jack Schmidt climbs in and Blackwell drop toe holds him.  Joe Schmidt taps out…

ELIMINATED: Jack and Joe Schmidt (Libertarian)

…Escondido comes in and headbutts Daniel-San.  Escondido sends Daniel-San for the ride and he falls awkwardly through the middle ropes.  Blackwell walks over and sends him back in.  Escondido attacks with a chop.  He gets Daniel-San up into a Muscle Buster position and rams his shoulder into the turnbuckle.  Cover gets two.  Daniel-San comes back with kicks and Matrix’s out of the way out of a springboard kick from Escondido.    Daniel-San with a belly-to-belly.  He heads to the top and hits a missile dropkick.  Blackwell tags in but is hit with a double under-hook suplex for two.  An inverted suplex by Daniel-San gets him two more.  He drives Blackwell down to the mat and attempts a Cattle Mutilation but Escondido runs in and clubs him in the back.  This brings in Golatta.  Facebuster by Golatta on Escondido.  Daniel-San ducks a Blackwell clothesline and hits a bulldog for two more.  Daniel-San dropkicks Kenzie Blair off the apron and then climbs to the top.  Escondido crotches him and climbs up with him.  Daniel-San blocks and comes off the top rope with an over the shoulder back-to-belly piledriver.  Suave: ‘HOLY CRAP!’   Daniel-San makes Blackwell tap to the Lebell Lock at the 17:51 mark.

WINNER: The International Hit Squad @ 17:51

Suave reminds everyone that PCW Extreme Election Night now has TEN matches!  He runs down the card again…

Alaska: Joe Miller (R) vs. Scott McAdam (D) vs. Lisa Murkowski (I)

Ohio: Lee Fisher (D) vs. Rob Portman (R)

Florida: Charlie Crist (I) vs. Marco Rubio (R) vs. Kendrick Meek (D)

Pennsylvania: Pat Toomey (R) vs. Joe Sestak (D)

Kentucky: Rand Paul (R) vs. Jack Conway (D)

Connecticut: Richard Blumenthal (D) vs. Linda McMahon (R)

California: Carly Fiorina (R) vs. Barbara Boxer (D)

Nevada: Harry Reid (D) vs. Sharron Angle (R)

Also:
PCW Tag Team Title Match: The Kings of Old School: Ricky Michaels/Marty Lane (D) vs. The International Hit Squad: Andy Golatta and Daniel-San (I)

PCW Title Match: Jill-Berg (R) vs. PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka (D)

AND Charlie Blackwell (I-American Heartland) gets married.

Crist, Rubio, and Meek in Preview Match Tonight on PCW

With fifteen days before PCW Extreme Election Night 2010, Extreme Political TV returns to the airwaves…

Florida Republican Marco Rubio teams up with Pat Toomey of Pennsylvania (R) to face off against Democrats Kendrick Meek (FLA) and Joe Sestak (PA) and Independent Charlie Crist (FLA) and a mystery contestant.

More fallout from the Bill O’Reilly, Joy Behar, Whoopi Goldberg bru-ha-ha on the View last week.

Paige McGillicutty interviews the New York Times’s Maureen Dowd and former Bush Press Secretary Dana Perino.

Independent Ken Worth- the American Trucker puts the PCW Television Title on the line against Democrat Jordan Metzger.

Triple R (D) vs. the Axis of Evil’s Khalid-El to determine the number one contender for the PCW title.

Main Event:
‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido and Charlie Blackwell (I-American Heartland) takes on the International Hit Squad: Andy Golatta and Daniel-San (I) and former two time PCW Tag Team Champions Jack and Joe Schmidt (Libertarian)

Catch all the action tonight on PCW Extreme Political TV

Bill O’Reilly Dust Up with Whoopi Goldberg and Joy Behar at The View

With two and half weeks to go until PCW Extreme Election Night 2010, could we see an O’Reilly vs. Goldberg and Behar match?  Stay posted as both ladies have vowed to be at next Monday’s PCW Extreme Political TV.

1/29-PCW Newsline: Huge Week for the ‘Innovator of Extreme Broadcast Excellence’ Rush Limbaugh, Post PCW Extreme Political TV Notes, BWE Preview

1/29- PCW NEWSLINE-‘The Innovator of Extreme Broadcast Excellence’ Rush Limbaugh and the ‘Queen of Political Extreme’ Ann Coulter come out to say ‘we told you so.’ They accuse John McCain of destroying the American Patriots and rail against the ‘socialism’ that Barack Obama allegedly wants to bring to PCW. Obama walks out and tells Limbaugh to choose a wrestler and there will be a match on next week’s PCW Extreme Political TV.

RESULTS FROM TUESDAY NIGHT’S PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV:

-Dave the Mechanic (Joe SixPacks) pins Snott Flemmstein (Jobbers) after whapping him with Tequila Sheila’s blender. After the match, Dr. Bill rolls out with the other PCW jobbers and they all attack Dave. Kevin Scott, Average Joe, American Trucker, and PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl Tessa Martin come to the rescue for Joe SixPacks.

-The Schett Brothers deliver a promo and tell PCW Tag Team Champions Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit (Domination Inc.) that they can run but they can hide.

-Quadruple R (Domination Inc.) annihilates Average Joe (Joe SixPacks) after DDT’g him on a chair. No interference at all from Domination Inc.

-Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen with Elisabeth Hasselbeck from ‘The View’ in her corner (American Patriots) quashes an injured Code Pink with Joy Behar (Progressive Alliance), also from ‘The View’, with the Eskimo Pieface. Post match, Hasselbeck and Behar catfight which brings out the Angry Left Wing Bloggers and, in turn, Politically Incorrect. The referee calls for the bell and it’s an impromptu 8 man tag team match

-Politically Incorrect (Al Cahall, Nic Koteen, NRA, and Hunter the Hunter) w/the ‘Queen of Political Incorrectness’ Andrea Doria defeat the Angry Left Wing Bloggers (Daily Kos, Eric Alterman, Media Matters for America, and News Hounds) w/Professor Paul Krugman in a brutal, extreme tag team war when NRA blasts Daily Kos in the head with the butt end of a shotgun.

-Rush Limbaugh chooses Quadruple R from Domination Inc. to be his representative next week against PCW Champion O’Beck Bahama.

POST SHOW NOTES:
-Rush Limbaugh seemed very pleased with how the night went. It is not clear right now if he is officially going to align himself, and quite possibly the American Patriots, with Domination Inc. The word going around is that Limbaugh, for lack of anyone else stepping up, is more or less the de facto leader of the American Patriots right now. Could the American Patriots be headed for conflict between the Limbaugh wing and the McCain wing?

-On the other hand, PCW CEO Barack Obama and the Progressive Alliance are very nervous about the match. Quadruple R probably has the most talent of any wrestler on the PCW roster but his emotions have tended to get the better of him. PCW Champion O’Beck Bahama continues to improve rapidly with the help of former PCW Champion Justin Sufferable but if Quadruple R has his head together and can keep in control, this could be Bahama’s toughest title defense in his short reign as champion.

-The story about how the rest of the PCW Jobbers (Snott Flemmstein, Jimmy from So Cal, signed up with self-help guru Dr. Bill is this: given the success FUBAR (now Kevin Scott) and SNAFU has had under Dr. Bill’s tutelage, the whole lot of them showed up in his office last week and begged him to help them out.

-The Schett Brothers are itching to get their hands on Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit. Several members of the Progressive Alliance had to stop them from crashing Domination Inc’s suite Tuesday night and going after the PCW Tag Team Champions.

-After having her fur coat burned up at the hands of Peta from PETA, ‘The Queen of Political Correctness’ Andrea Doria went coat shopping earlier today. She promises to have a brand new coat on next week on PCW Extreme Political TV.

*
Check out our good friends over at Blog Wrestling Entertainment for BWE Throwdown.
*
MAIN EVENT: fragnoli vs mojomike: This is more than just two legendary bloggers going at it. There are stipulations in this match to go along with bragging rights. If fragnoli wins this match, he’ll be back in the BWE Championship picture in a Triple Threat bout involving mojomike and Mo Morrissey at No Recovery! If mojomike wins, fragnoli can never challenge either Mo or Mojomike for the BWE Championship.

MONDAY, WE’LL HAVE WEEKEND HOUSE SHOW NEWS, BWE RESULTS, AND A PREVIEW OF PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV

PCW WORLD CHAMPION: ‘The New Rookie Sensation’ O’Beck Bahama (Progressive Alliance)

CONTENDERS:
#1- Kevin Scott (Joe Sixpacks)
#2- ‘The Angry Highway Warrior’ Quadruple R (Domination, Inc.)
PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION: Kathryn Randall Collins (Domination, Inc.)
CONTENDERS:
#1- ‘PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl Tessa Martin (Joe Sixpacks)
#2- Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (American Patriots)
PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit (Domination, Inc.)
CONTENDERS:
#1- Schett Brothers- Jack Schett and Bull Schett (Progressive Alliance)#2- A. Tom Bomb and Hy Drogen Bomb (American Patriots)
PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION: ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido (Progressive Alliance)CONTENDERS:
#1- Dave the Mechanic (Joe Sixpacks)
#2- SNAFU (Independent)
UPCOMING SCHEDULE OF EVENTS:
2/2- PCW Newsline
2/3- PCW Extreme Political TV
2/6- PCW Newsline
2/9- PCW Newsline
2/10- PCW Extreme Political TV
2/13- PCW Newsline
2/16- PCW Newsline
2/17- PCW Extreme Political TV

PREVIOUS SHOWS AND NEWSLINES:
1/27- PCW Extreme Political TV: Rush Limbaugh Challenges PCW CEO Barack Obama, Politically Incorrect vs. The Angry Left Wing Bloggers
1/26- PCW Newsline: Domination Inc. Board Meeting, ‘Hardball’ Chris Matthews and Newsweek’s Jonathan Alter Attack Sarah Palin
1/22- PCW Newsline: PCW Night of Champions Results, Obama Takes Oath of Office Again, Rahm Emanuel Named Progressive Alliance Wrestling Leader
1/20- PCW Night of Champions- Hour 2: Rahm Emanuel aka…Rahmbo Debuts, O’Beck Bahama Retains PCW Title, George W. Leaves For the Final Time
1/20- PCW Night of Champions- Hour 1: Barack Obama Assumes PCW CEO Post, Sarah Palin and the Eskimo Queen vs. Keith Olbermann, Arianna Huffington, and Paul Krugman, Domination Inc. Gives is Given Ultimatum
1/19- PCW Newsline: Keith Olbermann, Arianna Huffington, and Professor Paul Krugman Attack Sarah Palin Yet Again, Politically Incorrect Returns, PCW Night of Champions Preview
1/17- Sarah Palin Models the New PCW Jersey
1/15- PCW Newsline: Recap of PCW Extreme Political TV, PCW Competition Committee to Close Loophole Found by Domination Inc., Looking Back at George W’s Reign Over PCW
1/13- PCW Extreme Political TV: Keith Olbermann and Arianna Huffington Vow to Destroy Sarah Palin, Code Pink Debuts, American Patriots Leadership Candidates Meet with What’s Left of the American Patriots
1/12- PCW Newsline: Keith Olbermann and Professor Paul Krugman Attack Sarah Palin Again at PCW House Show, Domination Inc. Board Meeting, Preview of 1/13- PCW Extreme Political TV
1/8- PCW Newsline: PCW Owners Bubba Jackson and DeWayne Cantrell, Keith Olbermann Attacks Sarah Palin at PCW House Show

—————————————-
LINKS:
Buckland County Gazette

Political Championship Wrestling at Blogspot

Political Championship Wrestling at WordPress

American Heartland Bar and Grill

Prairie Depot Press at Blogspot

Screw the BCS at Blogspot

Exploding Sheep Productions

1/27-PCW Extreme Political TV: Rush Limbaugh Challenges PCW CEO Barack Obama, Politically Incorrect vs. The Angry Left Wing Bloggers

Last Week at PCW Night of Champions:
-The PCW Competition Committee updated the PCW rules to close a loophole found by Domination Inc’s Corporate Attorneys Felcher and Felcher. The Committee ruled that PCW Women’s Champion Kathryn Randall Collins (Domination Inc) and PCW Tag Team Champs Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit (Domination Inc) had to put their title on the line tonight.

-Another look at the new PCW Jersey as modeled by Sarah Palin

-PCW Owner Bubba Jackson stumbled a bit but managed to give Barack Obama the oath and he becomes the new PCW CEO.

-Domination Inc comes out and demands that Obama veto the PCW Competition Committee’s plan to close the loophole. Obama refuses. Domination Inc threatens to walk out. Obama tells them to leave their belts because a no-show automatically forfeits the title.

-Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen and Alaskan Pitbull Sarah Palin (American Patriots) wrestle to no-decision with Code Pink and Emily List (Progressive Alliance) when Keith Olbermann, Arianna Huffington, and Professor Paul Krugman and the Angry Left Wing Bloggers interfere causing the ‘Queen of Political Incorrectness’ Andrea Doria and Politically Incorrect to come out to even the odds.

-Domination Inc meet in their suite. Quadruple R goes crazy and wants to kick some butt. Mr. McMann turns him loose to do so.

-PCW Television Champion ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido (Progressive Alliance) defeats Dave the Mechanic (Joe SixPacks) when Rahm Emanuel aka…Rahmbo debuts and helps Escondido get the ankle lock on Dave.

-PCW Women’s Champion Kathryn Randall Collins aka…KRC (Domination Inc) pinned ‘PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin (Joe SixPacks) when Quadruple R hit Tessa with a steel folding chair from behind. A huge brawl broke out between Domination Inc and Joe SixPacks and PCW Security Director Dawn McGill came out and cleaned house. She nailed Big Oil in the groin with her 4 inch stilettos and takes out most of Domination Inc with her Singapore cane. Mr. McMann is not pleased.

-PCW Tag Team Champions Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit retained their title after losing by count out to Jack Schett and Bull Schett. When the bell rung, Big Oil and Walstreit simply walked out with the rest of Domination Inc.

-Former PCW CEO George W is jeered by Obama fans as he leaves Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon for the final time.

-PCW Champion O’Beck Bahama (Progressive Alliance) pinned a weakened Kevin Scott (Joe SixPacks). Scott had been tasered by Rough Justice (Domination Inc) during the big brawl earlier.

———————-

PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV: January 27th from The Alhambra Arena in Philadelphia, PA

PCW OVERVIEW (for the uninitiated)

Johnny Suave stands in the ring with his life-sized cardboard cut-out of Shania Twain. Crowd: “PCW!…PCW!…PCW! Suave: “Tonight, we are live from the Alhambra Arena in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania…the old ECW Arena. Only for one night only, we’re going to call it the…P-C-W Arena!” Crowd: “PCW!…PCW!…PCW!” Suave: “I am Johnny Suave, the voice of PCW. This hot piece of cardboard is the one and only Shania Twain…


…Tonight, we’re embarking on the most ambitious tour Political Championship Wrestling has ever done. We are hitting all the former ECW haunts in the East and Midwest as PCW leads up to March 8th at the Hammerstein Ballroom in New York City. That’s right, PCW’s Weapons of Mass Political Destruction pay per view will be held at the Madhouse of Extreme!” Crowd: “PCW!…PCW!…PCW!” Suave: Tonight, we’ve got-”

*“WITH TALENT ON LOAN FROM GOD!”*

The crowd immediately boos as ‘The Innovator of Extreme Broadcast Excellence’ Rush Limbaugh and the “Queen of Political Extreme” Ann Coulter appear in the spotlight and both begin to walk towards the ring. Suave: “Well, this is not a surprise. Limbaugh has been sparring publicly with the new PCW CEO Barack Obama in the news the last week. And I know Ann Coulter is never for a loss of words.” Crowd: “OX-Y CONT-TIN! (clap clap clap-clap-clap) OX-Y CONT-TIN! (clap clap clap-clap-clap)…” Limbaugh joins Suave in the ring. Rush: “That’s right. It is I…” Crowd: “WHO?” Rush: “…El Rushbo…” Crowd: “WHO?” Rush: “…The Maharushbie…” Crowd: “WHO?” Rush: “…With talent on loan from-” Crowd: “ROB!” Limbaugh pauses. Rush: “GOD!” Suave: “What can I do for you, Mr. Limbaugh?” Rush: “We’re both here tonight to say…we told you so. That’s right. It’s taken less than a week for the new PCW CEO Barack Hussein Obama to show his true colors. I don’t care what anybody else thinks. I…WANT…OBAMA…TO…FAIL. Period. I hope he fails.” More boos. Ann Coulter nods in agreement. Ann: “We don’t need socialism in PCW.” Crowd: “She’s a crack whore…(clap clap clap-clap-clap) She’s a crack whore…(clap clap clap-clap-clap) Suave: “Okay, that’s just not nice to say. Besides, it’s an insult to crack whores.” Coulter ignores the chants. Ann: “That’s what the Progressive Alliance want.” Suave: “Crack whores?” Ann: “No! Socialism. Obama wants socialism. The Progressive Alliance wants socialism.”

“Straight Shooting Maverick” John McCain comes out. John: “Rush. Ann. My friends. Look, the American Patriots can’t be obstructionist. We need to work together with CEO Obama as much as possible but still stand on principle when we need to.” Rush: “John. You’ve singlehandedly destroyed the American Patriots.” Yet more boos. Rush: “Remember both Ann and I said last year that you running for the PCW CEO for the American Patriots would destroy us. We were right. Look what’s happened to the American Patriots. Who’s left? Starz N. Stripes is gone. The Raving Rednecks Locke and Loade- they’re gone. Who’s leading the ship? Who’s in charge? No one. The American Patriots are dead in the water and it’s all YOUR fault. Had the American Patriots listened to me, El Rushbo, with talent on loan from-” Crowd: “BOB!” Rush: “GOD…you idiots. GOD! Had the AP listened to me, they wouldn’t be in this predicament right now.”

*flute and clarinet flourish*

Two men come out and unroll a white carpet to the ring steps. Dancers then dance. Ballet dancers…ballet? Little children walk up the white carpet and drop rose petals. Someone lets loose some pigeons…we’re still not sure just how they’ll get out of the building. The crowd stands and lets out a loud ovation as PCW CEO Barack Obama appears with his Aide de Camp Joe Biden by his side. Obama goes to the ring to join the conversation. Barack: “Rush, I just have two words for you……I won.” The crowd stands and cheers. Rush is not amused. Barack: “The American Patriots have a choice to make. Will they follow Rush Limbaugh, travel down the road into irrelevance, and we’ll never get anything done? Or will they follow the lead of John McCain?” Rush: “What? Is this the great unifier? The one who’s going to unify everyone and usher in a new era of bipartisanship and love? What’s clear here, Mr. Obama, is that YOU are afraid of ME. You are clearly more frightened of me, El Rushbo, with talent on loan from-” Crowd: “MOM!” Rush: “SHUT UP! IT’S GOD YOU IDIOTS…GOD, GOD, GOD! *clears throat* Now, as I was saying in a manner that only I, with my years of broadcast excellence, can say, you are more frightened of me then you are of Mitch McConnell and John Boehner- and they sit on the PCW Competition Committee.” Obama smiles. Barack: “All right, Rush. Tell you what. You bring your best wrestler to the ring. I’ll bring the PCW Champion O’Beck Bahama to the ring. And we’ll settle this there. You tell me by the end of the night who you want in the ring and we’ll do this next week on PCW Extreme Political TV.”

Suave: “THERE IT IS! NEXT WEEK, PCW CHAMPION O’BECK BAHAMA WILL DEFEND HIS TITLE AGAINST AN OPPONENT OF RUSH LIMBAUGH’S CHOOSING! WHO WILL IT BE?”

PCW NEWSLINE
Rahm Emanuel Named Leader of the Progressive Alliance
Tim Kaine, Executive Director of the Progressive Alliance, announced that Rahm Emanuel aka…Rahmbo will become the new leader of the Progressive Alliance group. Emanuel will be responsible for all wrestling activities and will report directly to Kaine.

REPLAY: PCW CEO Barack Obama’s Swearing In Last Week at PCW Night of Champions
PCW Owner Bubba Jackson and PCW Director of Security Dawn McGill climb into the ring. Bubba prepares to administer the oath. Bubba: “All right…all right.” He tries to get the crowd to quiet down. Bubba: “Barack, are you ready?” Barack: “Yes.” Bubba: “Okay. Do you swear that you’ll…do the best possible job possible to…help PCW prosper…and get…” Barack: “Big?” Bubba: “Yeah. Big.” Barack: “Yes.” Bubba: “Congratulations Mr. CEO.” The crowd stands and cheers. Suave: “And that’s it? Barack Obama is now the PCW CEO…and maybe Bubba ought to write something out ahead of time before trying to administer the oath- such as it was.”

PCW CEO OBAMA GIVEN OATH OF OFFICE A SECOND TIME BY PCW OWNER BUBBA JACKSON…JUST IN CASE
This time, Bubba wrote them down ahead of time. Big difference.

MATCH #1:
DAVE THE MECHANIC w/Tequila Sheila (Joe SixPacks) vs.
SNOTT FLEMMSTEIN (Independent)
Suave: “Last week, Dave the Mechanic lost a very close match with PCW Television Champion ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido with a little help from the new Leader of the Progressive Alliance Rahm Emanuel. This week, he gets Snott Flemmstein.” The bell rings. Dave the Mechanic starts fast. Arm wringer followed by Irish Whip into the ropes to a Back Body Drop. Snott off the ropes for a high crossbody block. Dave catches him in mid-air and slams him to the canvas. Snott goes to his oversized prosthetic nose and shoots out green ‘snot.’ Dave ducks and then tackles Flemmstein. Dave whips him into the ropes again. Flying clothesline. Flemmstein shoots out brown boogers from his nose. Dave again ducks and dives. Single leg takedown. Slingshot into the ropes. Flemmstein catches a neck full of ring rope and shoots backwards to the canvas. Tequila Sheila throws him her trusty blender. Snott staggers up. *WHAP* Snott goes right back down. Dave covers. 1…2…3.

WINNER: DAVE THE MECHANIC

Suave: “An impressive victory for Dave the Mechanic as he- *eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee* Suave: “Oh no. That sound could only mean one person.” Dr. Bill drives up in his motorized wheelchair. One of his ankle casts has been removed but his other ankle and both arms are still in casts. Dr. Bill: “Dave, in life we teach people how to treat us. For too many years, the so-called jobbers, the cannon fodders on the PCW roster have been treated as the lowest of the low on the totem pole. Sometimes, you’ve just gotta give yourself what you wish you were getting from someone else. In this case, they need to give themselves respect. And they’re going to get it by kicking your ass in the ring right now.”

Flemmstein shoots out a green stream of snot that encases Dave the Mechanic. Jimmy from So Cal, Ivan Rectum-Fighting Proctologist, Pirate Dave, and Tanya Hardy and the White Trash Posse pounce. The White Trash Posse clip Tequila Sheila’s knee with a baton. Suave: “What in the world is going on here?”

Kevin Scott, Average Joe, American Trucker, and PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl Tessa Martin arrive. The jobbers quickly exit stage left behind their new leader Dr. Bill.

SCHETT BROTHERS PROMO
Suave: “Jack Schett, Bull Schett, Horst Schett, and the Extreme German Schnauzer Hans Gruber don’t look very happy. And with good reason. Let’s go back to last week…”

REPLAY: PCW Tag Team Title Match from last week’s PCW Night of Champions:
BIG OIL w/Texas Tex and KIRK WALSTREIT- Wall Street Market Analyst with Man Crush on ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit © (Domination Inc.) vs.
JACK SCHETT and BULL SCHETT w/Horst Schett and Hans Gruber- the Extreme German Schnauzer (Progressive Alliance)
The bell rings. Big Oil takes one step forward and then climbs out of the ring. Big Oil, Walstreit, and the rest of Domination Inc walk back to the locker room. Again, the crowd craps all over it. Jack Schett stands in the ring with his arms outstretched. The referee starts to count Big Oil and Walstreit out. Suave: “They’re going back to the locker room. And of course, the title won’t change hands unless it’s a pin or submission so Big Oil and Walstreit will keep the belts. And PCW can’t say they no-showed because they were here. But the crowd is not happy.”

Jack: “Big Oil. Walstreit. You can run but at some point, you will have to face us in the ring. If you don’t think for one second that we will hunt you down and get back what is rightfully ours- the PCW Tag Team titles- then you don’t know Jack Schett. Bull: “That’s right! The way we lost the titles was a bunch of Bull Schett. I can guarantee you that with our new leader, Rahmbo Emanuel, in charge that the Bull Schett that happened at PCW Extreme Election Night will never happen again. Big Oil and Walstreit- start counting down the days because we will be the PCW Tag Team champions again. And that’s no Bull Schett.”

Suave: “Okay. The Schett Brothers want the PCW Tag Team Title back. The question is when they will get a crack at it. Big Oil is out for two more weeks after taking PCW Security Director Dawn McGill’s 4 inch stiletto heel in the balls.

MATCH #2:
AVERAGE JOE (Joe SixPacks) vs.
QUADRUPLE R (Domination Inc.)
Suave: “I don’t see any of the others from Domination Inc. Quadruple R has got a ton of talent but he can’t always control his emotions. He wants a shot at the PCW Title. Let’s see what he can do tonight.” Quad R starts quickly with a gutwrench suplex and locks in a half nelson crossface. Quad R hits a high knee and bulldogs Average Joe to the canvas. He drags him up and tosses him out of the ring. Quad R finds a chair. *CLANG* He drags Average Joe back into the ring holding the chair. Suave: “Quadruple R setting him up…DDT ON THE CHAIR! THAT’LL DO IT. ONE. TWO. THAT’S IT.”

WINNER: QUADRUPLE R

Suave: “An impressive victory for Quadruple R and NO INTERFERENCE FROM DOMINATION INC! After everything that happened last week, that’s a bit of a surprise.”

PCW NEWSLINE
Emergency Domination Inc. Board Meeting
PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein reports that Domination Inc. did indeed hold an emergency board meeting over the weekend. Topic #1 was dealing with the new PCW Security Director Dawn McGill. While breaking up a huge brawl, between the Joe SixPacks and Domination Inc., McGill kicked one half of the PCW Tag Team Champions Big Oil in the balls with her 4” stilettos for the second time in a month.

After PCW Women’s Champion Kathryn Randall Collins had just pinned challenger ‘PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin after Quadruple R smacked Tessa over the head with a chair, all hell broke loose…

REPLAY: Aftermath of KRC/’PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl Match from 1/20-PCW NIGHT OF CHAMPIONS
Suave: “THIS SUCKS! THIS IS SUCH A BULL CRAP ENDING! NO FREAKIN’ WAY…HOLD ON!” Joe SixPack hits the ring. Kevin Scott tackles Quad R and they start to brawl. ‘The Raving Rednecks’ Locke and Loade join in and triple team Quad R. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! REDNECK 4-D DEATH BLAST ON QUADRUPLE R! AND HERE COMES DOMINATION INC.!” Rough Justice…aka D.B. Ruff and Connor Justice- two former police officers fired for their over the top extreme style of justice, wade in with Daisy Cutter-Bomb, Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit. Ruff and Justice taser the hell out of Locke and Loade- they’re out. Big Oil and Walstreit lock up get into a wild brawl with Average Joe and the American Trucker- an old grudge match from a few months back. Joe the Plumber tries to help out but Daisy Cutter-Bomb kicks him in the balls. Suave: “Ah…poor Joe. DAISY CUTTER POWERBOMB! DAISY CUTTER POWERBOMB!” Daisy leaves Joe in a heap. Ruff and Justice duel with Kevin Scott. Justice gets the taser on Scott and takes him down. Suave: “HERE COMES DAVE THE MECHANIC!” Dave, still a bit winded from his TV Title match, wheels his battery charger down with him. He grabs the jumper cables and *ZZZZZAP* down goes Ruff. Justice lunges at him *ZZZZZAP* down goes Justice. Walstreit Stock Market Plunges American Trucker. Big Oil choke slams Average Joe. Suave: “HE’S GOT HIM! *WHAM* OKLAHOMA DRILLER! OKLAHOMA DRILLER!…” The crowd suddenly cheers. Suave: “HERE COMES PCW SECURITY DIRECTOR DAWN McGILL!”

McGill, with Singapore Cane in hand, runs up to Walstreit. *THWACK* *THWACK* Walstreit staggers into the steel guardrail. Big Oil rips the jumper cables away from Dave the Mechanic and choke slams him. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! Dave bounced up about six inches off the canvas!” Big Oil goes for the jumper cables, McGill plants her 4 inch stiletto heels in his groin. Big Oil to his knees. *THWACK* Big Oil topples over. Daisy Cutter-Bomb attacks McGill from behind and knocks the Singapore cane away. McGill instinctively whirls around with an open hand and smacks Daisy in the face. She stumbles all the way across the ring. McGill picks up the Singapore cane but gets blindsided by the PCW Women’s champion Kathryn Randall Collins. KRC drives McGill to the corner. McGill kick to the groin with her stilettos stops KRC in her tracks. She takes two steps back and turns around to see ‘PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin standing there- with her oversized pizza box. *WHAP* Suave: “HELLO! and GOODNIGHT! TESSA COVERS KRC! SHE COUNTS OUT HER OWN PINFALL.” An angry Tessa yells at KRC. Then she takes the pizza box and Arabian Facebusters KRC for good measure.

Big Oil is now out for the next three weeks to heal. Topic #2 was a discussion about the PCW Competition Committee changing the rules before last week’s Night of Champions.

REPLAY: PCW Competition Committee Announcement Concerning Title Defenses from PCW Night of Champions
Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, and Steny Hoyer of the Progressive Alliance are joined by American Patriots’ John Boehner and Mitch McConnell. Pelosi: “Last week, Domination Inc. announced that they found a loophole in the PCW competition rules that allowed their wrestlers, PCW Tag Team Champions Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit, PCW Women’s Champion Kathryn Randall Collins, not to put their title belts up in matches tonight. After a long consultation between all five members of the PCW Competition Committee, PCW CEO George W, and PCW CEO-designate Barack Obama, we have come up with a solution.” Pelosi produces a sheet of paper and reads from it. Pelosi: “We, the PCW Competition Committee, by unanimous vote, hereby change the PCW Rules and By-Laws as follows: ‘Each champion must put their title up in competition at Pay Per View shows, PCW Night of Champions, and otherwise, at least once a month. Therefore, the PCW Competition Committee decrees that tonight’s matches between Jack and Bull Schett vs. Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit WILL be for the PCW Tag Team belts. Tonight’s match between ‘PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin and Kathryn Randall Collins will be for the PCW Women’s title.”

Bernstein did not gleam any specifics from the meeting. But it appears Domination Inc. is itching for a fight.

‘Hardball’ Chris Matthews and Newsweek’s Jonathan Alter Attack Sarah Palin at PCW House Show
Just when it appeared that the Sarah Palin/Keith Olbermann, Arianna Huffington, Paul Krugman conflict was dying down, ‘Hardball’ Matthews and Jonathan Alter launched a sneak attack on the Alaskan Pitbull Saturday night at a PCW House Show in Bowling Green, Ohio.

REPLAY: KALEE JONES w/ ‘Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin (American Patriots) vs. EMILY LIST w/ Arianna Huffington (Progressive Alliance) from PCW House Show in Bowling Green, Ohio.
Jones hits a press slam on List. Big leg drop. Jones lifts her up for the Eskimo Pieface. WHAM! She covers. 1…2…3. Bell rings. ‘Hardball’ Chris Matthews and Jonathan Alter run up and attack Palin from behind. Matthews and Alter try to drag Palin to the back. Politically Incorrect (NRA, Al Cahall, Nic Koteen, and Hunter the Hunter) w/the Queen of Political Incorrectness Andrea Doria. Jones goes after Matthews and Alter from the front. She leaps and clotheslines Alter to the floor. Cahall, Koteen, and NRA gang up on ‘Hardball’ Chris Matthews. Jones lifts Alter up…ESKIMO PIEFACE on the floor! Alter rolls over and his face is a mess. Cahall and Koteen whip Hardball to the ring post. Hunter the Hunter then sets up his finisher…the bear trap. NRA pushes him towards Hunter. *SNAP* BEAR TRAP! Matthews screams and tries to pry the steel trap off his foot.

MATCH #3:
KALEE JONES- The Eskimo Queen w/Elisabeth Hasselbeck from ‘The View’ (American Patriots) vs.
CODE PINK w/Joy Behar from ‘The View’ (Progressive Alliance)
Suave: “Code Pink is still hobbled a bit from her injury last week on PCW Night of Champions when she accidently drop kicked a steel guardrail and severely sprained her ankle. The ankle is heavily wrapped. Kalee Jones just looks ready to kill someone.” Hasselbeck and Behar spar with each other from across the ring. Bell rings. Jones scoop slams Code Pink right out of the box. Jones works Code Pink’s bad ankle. Then she drags Code Pink up by the hair. Suave: “There she goes. *WHAM* ESKIMO PIEFACE! ESKIMO PIEFACE!” Jones doesn’t bother to cover. She sticks her boot on Code Pink. 1…2…3.

WINNER: KALEE JONES- The Eskimo Queen

Suave: “I don’t think Code Pink should have even been in the ring with her. Clearly, she’s injured. Hasselbeck and Behar get into it. Behar shoves Hasselbeck. Hasselbeck shoves Behar. THERE THEY GO! CAT-FIIIIIIIIIGHT! CAT-FIIIIIIIIIIGHT!” Hasselbeck and Behar roll around the ring. Suave: “HERE COMES THE ANGRY LEFT WING BLOGGERS!” Professor Paul Krugman leads Daily Kos, Eric Alterman, Media Matters for America, and News Hounds out and they attack Hasselbeck. Suave: “AND HERE COMES POLITICALLY INCORRECT!” ‘The Queen of Political Incorrectness’ Andrea Doria charges out in her fur coat, bikini top and bottom, her heeled shoes, cigarette, and holding a bottle of Jack Daniels, with Nic Koteen, Al Cahall, and Hunter the Hunter. The referee tries to separate the two groups. He gives up and grabs a microphone. Referee: “Screw it. You guys want to kill each other. Then go ahead. RING THE BELL!”

MATCH #4:
POLITICALLY INCORRECT- Al Cahall, Nic Koteen, NRA, and Hunter the Hunter w/ ‘The Queen of Political Incorrectness’ Andrea Doria vs.
THE ANGRY LEFT WING BLOGGERS- Daily Kos, Eric Alterman, Media Matters for America, and News Hounds w/Professor Paul Krugman
Hasselbeck and Behar brawl to the back. All eight men in the ring. Complete chaos. They just start punching each other! Al Cahall slams Daily Kos to the floor. Andrea Doria sets up two chairs. Cahall hits a side slam on the two set up chairs. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! Nic Koteen gets a chair wrapped round his neck by Eric Alterman. He fights back with strikes. Chair shot for the Koteen! A THIRD CHAIR SHOT!” Alterman covers…no! Hunter the Hunter yanks him off. NRA SENTONS ALTERMAN ONTO THE CHAIR!” Crowd: “HOLY S***!…HOLY S***!” News Hounds and NRA go at it. News Hounds with a pair of vicious chair shots. NRA bleeds from the head. Cahall and Daily Kos take it into the bleachers and get in a few more shots in on each other. Cahall gets a back mount and wails away with punches. Daily Kos flips him over his head and Cahall lands hard on the floor. Daily Kos gets a couple of chair shots in.

NRA laid out on a table. Alterman sentons…and hits it! Crowd: “PCW!…PCW!…PCW! Suave: “This has just been brutal. Alterman sentons NRA through the freakin’ table. Another table is set up in the ring. Koteen and Cahall brawl with Media Matters and News Hounds. Cahall throws News Hounds on the table. But News Hounds hangs onto Cahall and pulls him on as well. The table can’t take the weight of them and it collapses. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! They both landed badly.” Media Matters grabs a chunk of table and breaks it over Nic Koteen’s back. Back into the ring. Suave: “ALTERMAN THROWS A CHAIR AT HUNTER THE HUNTER!” Hunter goes to walk away and but Alterman picks the chair up again. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! HE THREWS THAT AT THE BACK OF HUNTER THE HUNTER’S HEAD!” Hunter staggers. Alterman goes for powerbomb through yet another table. Hunter somehow reverses it. Suave: “PILEDRIVER! PILEDRIVER THROUGH THE FREAKIN’ TABLE! HOLY, HOLY CRAP!” Crowd: “HOLY S***!…HOLY S***!” Hunter covers but News Hounds dives in for the save.

Outside in the back, right below Suave’s broadcast position. Al Cahall has Daily Kos draped over a table and he has climbed up to where Suave is. Suave: “WHAT IN THE HELL IS HE DOING? HE’S GOING TO PUT KOS THROUGH THE TABLE FROM TWENTY FEET UP!” Cahall looks really tired. He’s ready to jump. Suave: “IT’S THE GREEN WORLD ORDER!” ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee runs over and pushes Cahall over the edge. Below, GreenPete pulls Daily Kos off the table. *CRUNCH* Suave: “HOLY CRAP! CAHALL JUST DESTROYED THAT TABLE!” Crowd: “THIS MATCH ROCKS! THIS MATCH ROCKS!” GreenPete to the ring. Suave: “PETA FROM PETA IS TRYING TO CHOKE OUT ANDREA DORIA!” Peta, furious at Doria for wearing fur, has a choke hold on her. Doria flips her over her head and Peta from PETA lands on the floor. PeaceNick comes in from behind and slaps a handkerchief full of chloroform on her. Suave: “CHLOROFORM! CHLOROFORM!” Andrea fades out and falls to the floor. Peta from PETA strips her of the fur coat and lays it down. She soaks it in lighter fluid and sets it on fire.

*SNAP* Paul Krugman: “AAARGHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Suave: “WHAT THE- BEAR TRAP! BEAR TRAP! KRUGMAN’S LOCKED INTO HUNTER THE HUNTER’S BEAR TRAP!” Media Matters and News Hounds go over and desperately try to pry the trap open. Suave: “OH, OH. THEY DON’T SEE HUNTER THE HUNTER!” Chairshot to Media Matters. Chairshot to News Hounds. Chairshot to GreenPete. In the ring, NRA has Brock Cole Lee in the Gun Rack. Peta from PETA hops in the ring and low blows NRA. Hunter the Hunter now in the ring. He grabs Peta by the hair and body slams her. Daily Kos is back in the ring and HE low blows Hunter the Hunter. Bulldog. Cover. 1…2… Suave: “NO! Hunter kicks out. WAIT A MINUTE! NRA HAS A SHOTGUN!” NRA: “YOU’LL HAVE TO PRY THIS FROM MY COLD DEAD HANDS” *WHAP* Suave: “HOLY CRAP! HE JUST BLASTED DAILY KOS WITH THE BUTT OF THE SHOTGUN! NRA COVERS. ONE…TWO…THREE!”

WINNER: POLITICALLY INCORRECT- Al Cahall, Nic Koteen, NRA, and Hunter the Hunter

Suave: “They’re still trying to get Krugman out of the Bear Trap. There’s bodies littered all over the hall. Wow!-”

*“WITH TALENT ON LOAN FROM GOD!”*

LIMBAUGH ANNOUNCES HIS CHOICE
‘The Innovator of Extreme Broadcast Excellence’ Rush Limbaugh comes out. He walks around the assorted bodies in and around the ring. Suave: “Well? I guess it’s time to find out who’ll represent Rush Limbaugh next week against the PCW Champion O’Beck Bahama.” Rush: “Yes, it is I, again…” Crowd: “WHO?” Rush: “…El Rushbo…” Crowd: “WHO?” Rush: “…The Maharushbie…” Crowd: “WHO?” Rush: “With talent on loan from-” Crowd: “TODD!” Rush: “…GOD!…At this time, I’d like to introduce my choice to represent me, Rush Limbaugh, next week against PCW Champion O’Beck Bahama.”

*‘Domination Inc. will completely takeover Political Championship Wrestling by any and all means*

Suave: “Okay. I’m not sure if this is good or bad.” Limbaugh watches as the members of Domination Inc file into the arena. Rush: “Quadruple R!” The crowd erupts into boos. Quadruple R steps forwards and raises his hands. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! Has Rush Limbaugh allied himself with Domination Inc.? What does that mean for the American Patriots? Next week, Quadruple R finally gets his title shot against the PCW Champion O’Beck Bahama. I’m Johnny Suave- see you next week.”

——-
LINKS:
Buckland County Gazette

Political Championship Wrestling at Blogspot

Political Championship Wrestling at WordPress

American Heartland Bar and Grill

Prairie Depot Press at Blogspot

Screw the BCS at Blogspot

Exploding Sheep Productions

TNA Offers PCW Mainstay Alaskan Pitbull Sarah Palin 50K to Appear at Pay Per View

11/15- PCW NEWSLINE
Palin’s Next Stop- A Wrestling Ring?

We read with amusement about TNA’s ‘offer’ to Alaska Governor Sarah Palin to appear at their December 7th pay per view. As always, it seems TNA is one step behind everyone else. As our regulars already know, the Alaska Pitbull has been a major part of Political Championship Wrestling since her debut on the 9/16 PCW Extreme Political TV.

REPLAY- 9/16 PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV:
AMERICAN PATRIOTS CONVENTION RECAP

‘Straight Shootin’ John McCain announces the selection of Sarah Palin as his aide de camp, surprising…well…everyone. Olbermann and Matthews join Suave. Matthews is puzzled by the choice. Olbermann breaks off a nasty shot at Palin’s 17 year old daughter who happens to be pregnant. McCain gives his speech and Olbermann continues a string of snarky, smug, and condescending commentary as he goes along.
*
After the speech, Olbermann says McCain sucks and apologizes for the fact that McCain’s speech sucked. He adds that the video tribute to McCain sucks and apologizes for exploiting the images of a candidate who was a dead man walking. He adds the American Patriots sucks; people suck who aren’t obviously not at the same intellectual level as he is because they’re stupid enough to support the American Patriots, and most of all Bill O’Reilly sucks. Suave: “Well, so much for being unbiased. I guess compared to MSNBC, Fox News is actually fair and balanced.
*
Olbermann stomps over to Suave and confronts him. Suave doesn’t back down and compares what they’re doing to Obama to what Monica Lewinsky did for… Olbermann explodes and calls him…THE WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD! Olbermann: “How dare you compare me unfavorably to Fox News…OOFFFF!” Suave: “IT’S BILL O’REILLY!” O’Reilly throws Olbermann into the ring and flails away at him. A referee runs down and the bell rings. Suave: “WE’VE GOT AN IMPROMPU MATCH!”

Governor Palin immediately made an impact:

REPLAY- 9/30 PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV:
PCW TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH- JACK SCHETT & BULL SCHETT w/Horst Schett and Hans Gruber- the German Schnauzer (Progressive Alliance)
vs. A. TOM BOMB & HY DROGEN BOMB w/ Newt Tron Bomb (American Patriots)
More chops by Jack and then he climbs up the top turnbuckle. Horst hands him a brick and Jack places it in the rear of his trunks. Suave: “He’s going for their finisher- the ‘Schett-Brick!’” Newt Tron Bomb hits the ring and pulls A-Bomb out of the way. Jack misses and lands hard on his ass in the ring.

*
Suave: “Jack Schett in major pain. I betcha those brick shards don’t feel real good…HERE COMES ARIANNA HUFFINGTON AND THE ANGRY LEFT-WING BLOGGERS!” Huffington directs Daily Kos, Media Matters for America, Eric Alterman, and Paul Krugman into the ring. Daily Kos tosses A-Bomb to the floor and Media Matters and Alterman start kicking away. Alterman chokes out A-Bomb and puts him on a table. Then as A-Bomb lay on the table, Daily Kos gets a running start and puts A-Bomb through the table.
*
H-Bomb staggers back into the ring and flops on the canvas. Senton by Jack, knee drop by Bull and a cover. One…two…Sarah Palin leaps from her chair and whacks Bull in the back with the hockey stick. Suave: “PALIN STOPS THE COUNT!…AND HERE COMES THE RIGHT-WING BRIGADE!” Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter, Sean Hannity, Michelle Malkin, and Glenn Beck race down. Rights by Limbaugh, chops by Malkin and then an Enziguri takes out Jack Schett. Palin wades into the Angry Left Wing bloggers and starts swinging away. Horst revives Hans Gruber and sic the Schnauzer on the Right Wingers. Palin chases Huffington and the Angry Left Wing bloggers to the back. Hans Gruber chases the Right Wing Brigaders to the back.

Palin’s appearance in PCW piqued the curiosity of many. Especially this Saturday Night Live star:

REPLAY- 10/7 PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV:
BIDEN-PALIN INTERVIEW FOR PCW CEO
After Joe Biden makes his case for Barack Obama to become the next PCW CEO, PCW Owner Bubba Jackson turned to Sarah Palin for her response. And something didn’t seem quite right…

Palin: “By golly, I’d have to agree with Joe Biden. John McCain hasn’t been the maverick on issues that really matter to good ol’ Joe Six-Pack.” She winks at Bubba again. Suave: “What? She agreed with Joe Biden?” Bubba looks at her quizzically and continues. He asks her about the Katie Couric interview. Palin: “Boy, I really screwed that one up didn’t I? I sure looked clueless as hell.” Bubba follows up with a question about what newspapers she reads. Palin: “Newspapers? Darn if I know which one I read. I swear I’m like a box of rocks sometimes.” Bubba again gives her a strange look and asks her about Supreme Court cases. Palin: “Supreme Court cases? Isn’t that something you get a one of those fancy stores that Joe Six-Pack can’t afford to go into.” Palin winks again at Bubba and adds that Joe Six-Pack should support Barack Obama. Suave: “All right! Something isn’t right here.” Palin goes on and on about why Obama is better than McCain when a scream off stage is heard. Suave: “What the-” Out of nowhere, a woman leaps at and tackles Palin. Suave: “I KNEW IT! THAT WASN’T REALLY SARAH PALIN! THAT’S TINA FEY FROM SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE!” Palin and Fey roll around on the ground. Suave: “CAT-FIGHT! CAT-FIGHT!” Palin gets up and grabs her hockey stick. She takes a wild swing at Fey. Fey ducks and then the SNL star turns and runs for it.

Palin proved to be invaluable in helping John McCain in his quest to become the next PCW CEO:

REPLAY- 10/14 PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV:
McCAIN-OBAMA 2ND INTERVIEW FOR PCW CEO

Barack Obama (Progressive Alliance) is furious with John McCain (American Patriots) and they get into it over a string of incidents over the past week where McCain attacked Obama. Obama: “Your angry tone and these attacks are incendiary and totally over the top.” McCain disputes that but then Obama rolls tape:

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-10/7 PCW Extreme Political TV. McCain and Palin jump O’Beck Bahama backstage and leave him with a severely sprained ankle.
*
Obama: “See?” McCain: “That doesn’t prove anything. You’re overreacting.” Obama: “Overreacting? What about this?”
*
-PCW House show in Hudson, MI. McCain and Obama get into it during a match and Sarah Palin sneaks in from behind and clocks Obama with her hockey stick.
*
McCain: “Strategy. This is a tough business.” Obama: “What about this?”
*
-PCW House show in Defiance, OH. McCain jumps Obama from behind and they get into it. Then Palin joins in and they double team Obama.

The Sarah Palin-Tina Fey heated up the next week:

REPLAY- 10/21 PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV:
BACKSTAGE

‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin walks down the hallway towards the ring dressed in a short black dress with thigh high black boots. Alec Baldwin pops out of a side room and surprises her. Alec: “Sarah. Long time no see.” Sarah: “Alec? What are you doing here?” Alec: “I just wanted to say that you were great on Saturday Night Live the other night.” Sarah: “Thanks. I have a great time.” Alec: “And I’ve got to say again, you are so much hotter in person.” Sarah: “Thanks again, Alec. I need to go to the ring for the-” Alec: “Look, can I talk to you for a sec.” Sarah: “Well…I really need to get the ring.” Alec: “It won’t take that long, I promise.” Sarah: “Oh…all right, I guess.” Sarah and Alec go into the room. The door slams and there’s a commotion inside.

We would find out just what Alec Baldwin was up to during the John Sununu-Jeanne Shaheen match:

ENDING OF THE NEW HAMPSHIRE INTERGENDER PREVIEW MATCH:
JOHN SUNUNU w/John McCain and Sarah Palin (American Patriots)
vs. JEANNE SHAHEEN w/Barack Obama and Joe Biden (Progressive Alliance)
Sununu hits a back breaker and covers. 1…2…. Biden in and breaks up the count. McCain in the ring now and he argues with Biden. Shaheen tries a handspring elbow but Sununu catches her in mid flight and puts her in a full nelson. To the corner, Sununu tells Palin to nail Shaheen with the hockey stick. Palin winds up and she swings. *THWACK* Suave: “HOLY CRAP! SHE JUST TOOK OUT JOHN SUNUNU!” Sununu crumples to the mat. Shaheen covers. 1…2…3.

*
WINNER: JEANNE SHAHEEN
*
Suave: “UNBELIEVABLE! SARAH PALIN HIT SUNUNU WITH A HOCKEY STICK AND COST HIM THE MATCH! JOHN McCAIN IS LIVID!” McCain shoots daggers towards Palin. Sarah: “I’m sorry…I’m sorry.” McCain takes her by the hand and storms away. Palin turns around at Suave and winks. Suave: “Wait a minute. There’s something going on here.”
*
BACKSTAGE
Inside a closet is the real Sarah Palin. Her hands are handcuffed above her head over a metal bar and she’s gagged. Suave: “I knew it! That wasn’t the real Sarah Palin. That was Tina Fey!”

Palin would get her revenge later on…

‘SARAH PALIN’ PRESS CONFERENCE

Palin/Fey: “…and that’s why I strongly condemn John McCain for using robocalls to push his candidacy for PCW CEO. And furthermore I believe-” A harried Alec Baldwin runs in and whispers in her ear. Palin/Fey: “WHAT? She escaped? And she’s coming her right now?…Oh…bye-” *THWACK* Suave: “IT’S THE REAL SARAH PALIN AND SHE JUST CLOCKED TINA FEY WITH HER HOCKEY STICK!” Fey down. Baldwin backs up and tries to reason with her. *THWACK* Palin breaks the hockey stick in two over Baldwin’s head.

And finally, Sarah Palin played a huge part at PCW Extreme Election Night 2008 on November the 4th. First, she helped Elisabeth Hasselbeck defend herself from a three on one triple team after their match.

REPLAY FROM PCW EXTREME ELECTION NIGHT 2008:
The View Handicap Match-Special Referee Barbara Walters

WHOOPI GOLDBERG, JOY BEHAR, SHERRI SHEPHERD (Progressive Alliance)vs. ELISABETH HASSELBECK (American Patriots)
Suave:
“Well, considering it was three against one…actually…four against one if you count Barbara Walters…I thought Elisabeth held her-…HOLY CRAP! THEY’RE NOT DONE YET!” Goldberg and Shepherd hold Hasselbeck up. Behar slaps her and starts jawing. Behar slaps her again. She puts Hasselbeck back in the STF. Suave: “THAT’S ENOUGH! THAT’S ENOUGH!” Behar releases the hold. Goldberg and Shepherd drape her over the top rope and start choking her out. Suave: “YOU’VE WON THE MATCH. LEAVE HER-” A deafening cheer erupts. Suave: “IT’S SARAH PALIN!” The Alaskan Pitbull charges to the ring with her hockey stick. Immediately, Goldberg and Shepherd bail out of the ring leaving Behar behind. Crowd: “SARAH’S GOING TO KILL YOU! (clap clap clap-clap-clap) SARAH’S GOING TO KILL YOU! (clap clap clap-clap-clap) *THWACK* Suave: “HOLY CRAP! PALIN NAILS BEHAR WITH THE HOCKEY STICK!” Behar’s stunned and stumbles right back into Palin’s wheelhouse. *THWACK* Palin connects a second time and sends Behar over the top rope, pinwheeling to the floor. Suave: “SARAH PALIN CLEANS HOUSE!”
*
Palin and Fey would get into it again during the Minnesota Street Brawl between Al Franken and Norm Coleman:

REPLAY FROM PCW EXTREME ELECTION NIGHT 2008:
Minnesota Street Brawl

AL FRANKEN (Progressive Alliance)vs. NORM COLEMAN (American Patriots)vs. DEAN BARKLEY (Independent)
Suave: “IT’S DOWN TO COLEMAN AGAINST FRANKEN!” Coleman drags Franken out of the ring and slams him into the guardrail. Franken counters, blocks a suplex, and drapes Coleman across the guardrail. Franken’s spin kick from the ring apron misses. Coleman moves out of the way and Franken crashes right-knee-first into the rail. Quick chair shots in succession leave Franken dazed and wondering what hit him. Back suplex by Coleman. Suave: “WAIT A MINUTE! HERE COMES SARAH PALIN! SHE SWINGS THE HOCKEY STICK…MISSES FRANKEN AND HITS COLEMAN!” Palin winks. Suave: “THAT’S NOT SARAH PALIN! IT’S TINA FEY FROM SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE AGAIN! HERE’S COMES THE REAL PALIN!” Sarah Palin runs in and tackles Fey. They roll around on the floor. Suave: “CATFIGHT! CATFIGHT!”

And then, Palin played a huge role in what is probably the greatest match in PCW history:

REPLAY FROM PCW EXTREME ELECTION NIGHT 2008:
PCW Championship Match

O’BECK BAHAMA w/Barack Obama (Progressive Alliance)vs. STARZ N. STRIPES © w/John McCain (American Patriots)
Running splash takes the air out of Starz. Bahama covers. Suave: “1…2…McCAIN SAVES HIM! McCAIN RAN OVER AND PUT THE CHAMPION’S FOOT ON THE ROPES!” Bahama drives Starz to the canvas with a running power bomb. The crowd begins to anticipate a possible title change. Suave: “THIS COULD BE THE NIGHT! BAHAMA COVERS…” A huge roar erupts. Suave: “IT’S SARAH PALIN! SHE’S IN THE RING! *THWACK* HOLY CRAP! *THWACK* OH! SHE NAILED BAHAMA WITH HER HOCKEY STICK!” Bahama staggers. Suave: “TINA FEY! TINA FEY’S OUT HERE! SHE GOES UP TO PALIN…SHE TAKES THE HOCKEY STICK AWAY. AND NOW, FEY’S LEAVING! PALIN’S CHASING HER.”Standing drop kick by Starz drives Bahama into the corner. Suave: “SARAH PALIN HAS TOTALLY CHANGED THE COMPLEXION OF THE MATCH!”

And then later on, this…

Suave: “STARZ WITH THE MOMENTUM AND…HE WANTS A TABLE!” McCain slides a table into the ring and Stara sets it up. Rights by Starz. Then he sets Bahama up. Suave: “HE’S LINING BAHAMA UP…” The PCW crowd roars again. Suave: “SARAH PALIN! .SARAH PALIN’S BACK OUT!…OR IS IT TINA FEY?” Palin climbs up to the ring apron. Suave: “I DON’T THINK STARZ’S SURE IF IT REALLY HER OR NOT.” McCain’s confused. Suave: “STARZ PULLS BAHAMA UP AND HOLDS HIM…HE’S TELLING PALIN OR FEY OR WHOMEVER TO GO AHEAD.” Palin swings. Bahama ducks. Starz catches the stick with his hand. He throws Bahama out of the ring. Suave: “STARZ IS PISSED. HE FLIPS HER INTO THE RING!” The crowd stands and cheers. Suave: “HE’S NOT! YES HE IS.” Starz powerbombs her through the table. Suave: “HOLY CRAP!” Tina Fey runs out dressed as Palin. She winks at Starz and leaves. Suave: “OH MY GOD! STARZ JUST POWER-BOMBED SARAH PALIN THROUGH A TABLE!” Starz looks at the unconscious Palin lying among the ruins of the table in abject disbelief. McCain is stunned. Starz checks on her. Bahama claws his way back into the ring and blindsides the distracted Starz from behind.

Will Sarah Palin show up at the TNA pay per view? Somehow, PCW thinks you’ll have a better chance of seeing her here in Political Championship Wrestling.

Elisabeth Hasselbeck vs. Joy Behar, Whoopi Goldberg, & Sherri Shepherd-The View Handicap Match-Special Referee Barbara Walters

WHOOPI GOLDBERG, JOY BEHAR, SHERRI SHEPHERD (Progressive Alliance)
vs. ELISABETH HASSELBECK (American Patriots)

Suave: “All right then. This is our special added attraction match.” The bell rings. Hasselbeck and Goldberg to begin. Suave: “I also question how ‘fair’ Barbara Walters is going to be in refereeing this match. Hasselbeck starts fast. She slams Goldberg down and lays the boots to her. Side headlock. Shepherd in to help Goldberg escape. Goldberg gets a leg trip and then an arm bar. Tag to Shepherd. Double ax smash and drop toehold. Hasselbeck whipped into the ropes. A shoulder block by Shepherd and then a cover for 2. A very quick 2 count. Hasselbeck momentarily glares at Walters and allows Shepherd to work her arm, tag to Goldberg and she continues works the arm. Hasselbeck reserves, Goldberg kicks her and then stun guns her off the ropes. Whip back into the corner and Hasselbeck gets mugged by both Behar and Shepherd. Spinning kick by Goldberg. She slams Hassebeck’s head to the mat repeatedly and then tags in Behar. Double team elbow drop to Hasselbeck and then Behar slaps a choke hold on her. Goldberg hits with kicks to Hasselbeck. Now Shepherd in and they triple team her. Hasselbeck sent to the corner. Shepherd goes for the splash. Hasselbeck moves. Behar eats a big boot. Hasselbeck throws her through the ropes to the floor. Goldberg and Hasselbeck trade shots. Hasselbeck off the ropes and charges. Shoulder block. Hasselbeck covers. 1…………2…… Shepherd finally pulls Hasselbeck off. Suave: “OH, COME ON!”

Behar back in. She ties Hasselbeck up and then puts her in the STF. Walters asks Hasselbeck if she wants to quit. Hasselbeck screams no. Behar cinches it in even more. Walters asks her again. Same result. Behar releases the hold and Hasselbeck slumps to the canvas. Behar pulls her back up by the hair. Hasselbeck is woozy and wobbly. Suave: “Just end it already.” Pancake slam. Behar covers. Goldberg covers. Shepherd covers. Quick 3 count by Walters. Match over.

WINNER: WHOOPI GOLDBERG, JOY BEHAR, SHERRI SHEPHERD

Suave: “Well, considering it was three against one…actually…four against one if you count Barbara Walters…I thought Elisabeth held her-…HOLY CRAP! THEY’RE NOT DONE YET!” Goldberg and Shepherd hold Hasselbeck up. Behar slaps her and starts jawing. Behar slaps her again. She puts Hasselbeck back in the STF. Suave: “THAT’S ENOUGH! THAT’S ENOUGH!” Behar releases the hold. Goldberg and Shepherd drape her over the top rope and start choking her out. Suave: “YOU’VE WON THE MATCH. LEAVE HER-” A deafening cheer erupts. Suave: “IT’S SARAH PALIN!” The Alaskan Pitbull charges to the ring with her hockey stick. Immediately, Goldberg and Shepherd bail out of the ring leaving Behar behind. Crowd: “SARAH’S GOING TO KILL YOU! (clap clap clap-clap-clap) SARAH’S GOING TO KILL YOU! (clap clap clap-clap-clap) *THWACK* Suave: “HOLY CRAP! PALIN NAILS BEHAR WITH THE HOCKEY STICK!” Behar’s stunned and stumbles right back into Palin’s wheelhouse. *THWACK* Palin connects a second time and sends Behar over the top rope, pinwheeling to the floor. Suave: “SARAH PALIN CLEANS HOUSE!”

Barbara Walters helps Behar to the back. Palin attends to Hasselbeck.

DR. BILL PROMO
Dr. Bill: “FUBAR, when I took you in June of this year, I took in a broken man. A man who’d been an abject failure. I took you in and nourished you, gave you the benefit of my vast knowledge and wisdom. How do you repay me? By leaving me out of the MOST IMPORTANT MATCH OF YOUR LIFE! YOU’D BETTER LISTEN TO DR. BILL BECAUSE DR. BILL IS LISTENING TO YOU! AND I HEAR SOMEONE WHO’S UNGRATEFUL. SOMEONE WHO THINKS HE KNOWS THE QUICKEST WAY BETWEEN A AND B. LET ME TELL YOU FUBAR, THE QUICKEST WAY FROM A TO B IS NOT ALWAYS AT THE MOST FEVERISH PACE! I GOT YOU THE PCW TELEVISION TITLE! AND THIS IS THE THANKS I GET. (takes deep breath) FUBAR, a wise man once said ‘the most you get is what you ask for,’ actually, I said that. You’ve asked for it, FUBAR. Life’s a marathon; not a sprint. You’ll see soon enough why I did the things I did for you. To protect you and your meager talent…………….and you know that, FUBAR. But as another wise man once said…actually, I’ll admit it- I said that one too, awareness without action is worthless. And failure is no accident.”

Suave: All right, Dr. Bill there venting because PCW Television Champion FUBAR is defending his title for the first time without him in his corner against ‘No Frill’s Chris Escondido.”

VID RECAP-ESCONDIDO vs. FUBAR FEUD:
9/30- PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV: After FUBAR defeats Michael Hunt, a swinging neckbreaker by Escondido lays out the TV champ. Again, Escondido runs down FUBAR as a ‘glorified jobber’ and ‘talent enhancement.’ Escondido demands a title shot but Dr. Bill says no. Dean and Escondido then assault Dr. Bill but then the Jobbers aka Talent Enhancement run out. Jimmy from So Cal, the Jim Rome Clone wannabe come to his aid.

*
10/14- PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV: FUBAR defeats Halitosis when Dr. Bill directly interferes and helps him win. Escondido tells FUBAR that he can’t beat him without Dr. Bill. Escondido: “You’re nothing without Dr. Bill.” Escondido leaves an anxious FUBAR looking at Dr. Bill.
*
10/21- PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV: FUBAR wrestling the Jim Rome Clone wannabe, Jimmy from So Cal. FUBAR in control of match. Dr. Bill, though, still whaps Jimmy in the head with his clipboard. Escondido comes out again and demands his title shot. Dr. Bill tells Escondido ‘there’s no way in hell he’s getting a title match.’
*
10/28- PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV: Dr. Bill interferes again in FUBAR’s match against Richard Headd. Escondido gets on the mic but FUBAR snaps and goes off on him. FUBAR accepts Escondido’s challenge and told Dr. Bill that he was going this one alone.”
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