Are Obama’s Critics ‘Dumb?’ Has Newsweek Gone ‘Fox News’? PCW Extreme Political TV

PCW Extreme Political TV
Winter Sports Ice Arena
Willow Grove, PA
Monday January 11th, 2012
Host: Johnny Suave

MATCH #1- joined in progress.
PCW Tag Team Title Match
‘The Self Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D) © vs. John and Ronnie Walker

This is a rematch from last Thursday when Big Union obliterated the Walker Brothers and then offered them a rematch.

Last week:
Big Labor cuts a disingenuous heel promo about how, as the Self Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class, he hated to deliver the Scabbuster to a fellow middle class member.  Of course, if the Walkers were part of a union- that class A, asskicking, they just received would never had happened.  Big Labor says he’ll give Walkers a rematch any time, anywhere.

Big Labor lays out Ronnie Walker with a Scabbuster and then turns to John Walker and smiles.  He lifts Ronnie up a second time and hits him with a second Scabbuster.

Suave: “JUST PIN HIM ALREADY!”

Big Labor makes the cover…1…2…NO!  Big Labor pulls Ronnie up at the last second.   He calls for a microphone and tells the Walkers they showed some guts in showing up here to get their ass handed to them a second time.  Big Labor tells John to pledge his allegience to the true Savior of the Middle Class…

Suave: “That’s Self Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class.”

…or else he’ll spike his brother a third time.  John turns to the crowd for help.

Big Labor: “You don’t put your faith in the hands of some rabbling scabs.  You put your faith in me.”

John is about to answer when…

Charlie Blackwell (American Heartland Coalition) 
HT: 6′ 4″  WT: 215 HOME: New Braunfels, TX
FIN: Tazzmission (Katahajime)
MGR: Kenzie Blackwell

Mike the Mechanic (American Heartland Coalition)
HT: 5’10”  WT: 202  HOME: Cleveland, OH
FIN: Jumper Cables
MGR: Tequila Sheila

Bobby Bare‘s ‘Pour Me Another Tequila, Sheila’ plays as Tequila Sheila leads Blackwell and his Les Miserables along with Mike the Mechanic hit the ring to battle Big Union.  Sheila hands Mike the Mechanic the jumper cables and he knocks out James the Jeep Worker (D) with them.

Blackwell ducks a right hand by Big Labor and puts him in the Katahajime.

Suave: “BLACKWELL’S CHOKING OUT BIG LABOR!”

Down comes the California Teacher’s Union…

’The Foul Pole’ Andy Golatta (D)
HT: 6’5″  WT: 245, HOME: Warsaw, Poland
FIN: Foul Pole
MGR: Gov. Jerry Brown

Malibu Dusty (D)
HT: 5’9, WT: 195  HOME: Bakersfield, CA
FIN: Picket Line
MGR: Gov. Jerry Brown

…but they’re intercepted by the Tea Party…

Average Joe
HT: 6′ 2″  WT: 220, HOME: Defiance, OH
FIN: Average Slam

NRA
HT: 6′ 2″  WT: 269, HOME: Richmond, IN
FIN: Gun Rack (modified torture rack)

‘Tin Cup’ Ray McAvay
HT: 6′ 2″  WT: 185, HOME: Salome, TX
FIN: Seven-Iron
MGR: Tromeo and Dr. Molly Greenwald

…The Tea Party brawls with the CTU until…

Occupy Wall Street (D)
Nate
HT: 5′ 10″  WT: 190  HOME: Minneapolis, MN

Shane
HT: 6′ 1″  WT: 185  HOME: Newark, NJ

Adam
HT: 6’0″  WT: 200  HOME: New York City, NY

…shows up…the referee for their scheduled match appears and clears out the ring.

MATCH #2- Six Man Tag Team Match
The Tea Party (R) vs. Occupy Wall Street (D)

[...Average Joe  rolls onto Nate connecting with a knee. NRA tags in McAvay. McAvay rolls onto Nate connecting with a knee. Nate gets up. Nate springboard DDT's McAvay onto the mat!  Nate locks McAvay in the Occupy Grapevine submission.  The referee checks for a tap out. ... ... McAvay is fighting the hold.  Blackwell in the ring with a double axe handle and Nate breaks the hold.  Nate sends McAvay out of the ring.  McAvay is in the wrong part of town as Shane swings a Steel chair and blasts him with it.  McAvay is bleeding as a result.  Nate does a handspring and hits McAvay with a bodyblock, what a move!  McAvay with a Salome suplex on Nate that drives him to the floor.  McAvay bites Nate's arm. ]

Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”

[Back in the ring, McAvay hits the cobra clutch suplex.   He follows with an arm wrench and Nate is in trouble.  McAvay with a frog splash on Nate.  He picks Nate up and hits a stomachbreaker.  Tromeo tells McAvay to finish him off and throws him the seven iron.  *WHACK*  Seven iron shot on Nate! McAvay covers...1 ...2 ...3 ]

WINNER: The Tea Party @ 16:06

Leader of the PCW Executive Committee Harry Reid (D-NV) charges down the ramp with the Democrats in tow and they attack the Tea Party.   O’Beck Bahama, PCW Television Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism, Big Union, The CTU, Axel Rodd, ’New Age Sensitive Guy’ Blaine Thomas-Taylor obliterate the Tea Partiers.

Finally, the Republicans respond in kind and send their wrestlers to the ring.  PCW Security tries to sort it all out as PCW goes to commercial.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

BACKSTAGE
PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein reports that Jon Huntsman (R-UT) is dropping out of the Republican race to challenge PCW CEO Barack Obama in November.

Huntsman: “This race had degenerated into an onslaught of negative and personal attacks not worthy of PCW and not worthy of this critical time in American history.”

Huntsman endorsed the Massachusetts Redblood Mitt Romney (R-UT) and then took a shot at current PCW CEO Barack Obama (D-IL) for engaging in “class warfare” and added that he felt it contributed to the divisiveness in PCW.

This leaves five main contenders left in the race to be the Republican to challenge PCW CEO Obama (D-IL):

Newt Gingrich (R-GA)
Mitt Romney (R-MA)
Rick Santorum (R-PA)
Ron Paul (R-TX)
Rick Perry (R-TX)

Suave: “Last week, Valora Salinas finally got her wish- a title match against PCW Champion Daniel-San (I) which will take place this Saturday at South Carolina Slaughter.  Here’s how it came about.”

Last Thursday on PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN
Daniel-San: “All she wants is a chance at the PCW title.  And as the PCW Champion, I’m willing to give her a shot.”

Reid and Pelosi are stunned.  Daniel-San sets the match for next Saturday’s PCW South Carolina Slaughter show and says “may the best man…or woman win.”  Valora escapes from Big Labor and Chism and low bridges both men.  Reid and Pelosi run for it.

In the ring, Daniel-San soaks up the crowd’s applause- not seeing that John Creese and the Cobra Conservatives are sneaking up on him.  Creese signals his gang and they attack Daniel-San.  The Cobra Cons deliver a vicious beatdown of the PCW Champion until Valora hits the ring and makes the save.

PCW Champion Daniel-San (I) talks with Woodward Bernstein.  He explains that the reason he is giving Valora a title match is because he’s obligated to defend the title and she deserves as much as anyone else.    Mrs. Miyagi adds that he’s not going to take her lightly before getting cut off by the champion.  Daniel-San then adds that Valora has won titles before and it’s time to see just how she’ll handle a big time match.

Bernstein then asks about the sneak attack on him last week by John Creese and the Cobra Cons.  Daniel-San evades answering the question and walks away leaving Mrs. Miyagi puzzled.

Suave: “That was weird.  And totally out of character for Daniel-San.  What’s going on?”

MATCH #3- PCW Television Title #1 Contender’s Match w/Special Referee: ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) and Special Enforcer: ‘The Japanese SuperDestroyer’ Yamamoto Tanaka (D)
O’Beck Bahama (D) vs. New Age Sensitive Guy Blaine Thomas-Taylor (D)

The match is delay when Chism grabs the microphone from ring announcer Kimber Marshall and rants about the fact that he holds a title but O’Beck Bahama is considered the Democrat’s number one wrestler.  Chism says he’s getting tired of being disrespected and demands that Bahama relinquish his #1 slot to him.

Bahama, of course, tells Chism to stick it in his ear.  Chism attacks Bahama while ‘New Age Sensitive Guy’ Blaine Thomas-Taylor tries to play peacemaker.  Thomas-Taylor gets a Hollywood Blockbuster from Chism for his troubles.

Then Tanaka attacks both Chism and Bahama and there’s a three way brawl in the ring.  Finally, PCW Executive Committee Chief Harry Reid (D-NV) and former PCW Competition Committee Chief Nancy Pelosi (D-NV) rush down to the ring to separate the three.

Suave: “There is no love lost between Chism and Bahama or Tanaka.  None at all.  Chism’s responsible for costing both Bahama and Tanaka the PCW title at one time or the other.”

Finally, PCW Security hits the ring and tears Tanaka, Bahama, and Chism away from each other.

Suave: “For all the stuff about the Republicans squabbling, don’t forget that the Democrats have their loony wing as well that doesn’t get along with the others.”

Suave references the Andrew Sullivan article in Newsweek  which has on the cover this week the caption “Why are Obama’s critics so dumb?”  and then turns it over to Steve Hunter for a new feature on PCW…

Steve Hunter’s Three Sentence Political Commentary- because three sentences is all you need to get your point across.

TOPIC: Andrew Sullivan’s Newsweek article

Sullivan’s article in Newsweek is thoughtful and well worth the read.  The same can’t be said for the idiotic caption on the cover that could have come from the editorial department of MSNBC.  Really Newsweek, I thought only Fox did stupid stuff like this…allegedly.

BACKSTAGE
Snooki aka Nicole Polizzi of Jersey Shore fame tells PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein that Donald Trump should be the next President of the United States.

Snooki: “I thought Trump was gonna run.  But he’s not, right? I would endorse him and vote for him.”

Snooki continued to ramble on until PCW Women’s Champion Valora Salinas (I) ran in and decked her with a steel chairshot.

Bernstein: “Thanks…I think.”

COMMERCIAL BREAK

MAIN EVENT:
‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R) w/’The Massachusetts Redblood’ Mitt Romney (R-MA)
Texas Jack w/Rick Perry (R-TX)
Jim Schmidt w/Ron Paul (R-TX)
The Right Rev. Randy Richardson w/Rick Santorum (R-PA)
K-Roy w/Newt Gingrich (R-GA)

Richardson, urged on by Santorum, starts the match on fire and nearly eliminates K-Roy right out of the box.

Schmidt is sluggish from the get-go and ends up being the first one eliminated.  Not a good night for the Ron Paul-ites in the audience.

After Richardson’s hot start, it’s Texas Jack who gets it in gear for the first time in months and starts to kick serious ass all over the ring.   He hooks up with K-Roy and they brawl from one side of the ring to the other.

Like Mitt Romney, ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott plays it cool and stays out of trouble for the most part. 

Richardson runs out of gas and gets tossed by K-Roy.  Newt Gingrich cheers while Rick Santorum does not look pleased.

Towards the end of the match, Romney is talking with Johnny Suave at ringside and calls Gingrich super PAC flick the ‘biggest hoax since Bigfoot.  Then Romney calls ‘McCain-Feingold a disaster.  Suave then reminds Mitt that McCain is his biggest, high profile endorsement and sure enough, McCain comes out.

In the end, Kevin Scott gets distracted and allows K-Roy to push him over the top rope and out of the match.

McCain and Romney talk as they head to the back.  Scott is not pleased.

Down to K-Roy vs. Texas Jack; Newt vs. Perry.

Texas Jack on his game but K-Roy is even more sharp tonight.   Texas Jack misses a Texas Lariat and K-Roy hits a K-Bomb and makes the cover.  Newt jumps in the ring and assists the referee in making a proper 1-2-3 and K-Roy wins the match.

Winner: K-Roy @ 11:26

Suave: “Not the greatest night for Romney.  Newt gets a little momentum headed into Saturday’s match at South Carolina Slaughter.   We’ll see you Thursday night for PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN.”

“I Love Watching the Left Do Sexism”- Johnny Suave: 12/8-PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN- Hour 1

PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN- Hour 1
QWest Center
Omaha, NE
Thursday December 8th, 2011
Host: Johnny Suave

Suave: “TEN days away from PCW’s Jesusland vs. Progressiveville PPV show!

The year is 2017.  In a world where harsh divisions and economic strife have pulled the United States apart, Stacey Martin, Kate Wilson, and the Washington Freedom Force find themselves on the front line protecting the, now, free city of Washington D.C. and the American Reconciliation Summit- an attempt to reunite the fifty states into one country once again.

But when a multi-national mega-corporation with another agenda in mind attempts to disrupt the reconciliation talks, Stacey and Kate face their biggest challenge to date.  With the future of a possible reconstituted United States in the balance, can Stacey and Kate stop the forces against reconciliation from undermining the summit?  Or will the corporation make sure the talks suffer a cataclysmic, catastrophic failure of nuclear proportions.

Written by the irrepressible, onerous, and uber-mysterious Mr. A. Nominous, Jesusland vs. Progressiveville is a roller coaster ride of a political satire lampooning the sorry state of today’s American politics.

Suave runs down the card to date:

PCW Title Match:
(c) Daniel-San (I) vs. Magnum P.O.’d (R) w/Robyn Masters and Newt Gingrich (R-GA)

PCW Men’s Tag Team Title Match:
(c) Big Union: ‘The Self Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D) vs. The Schmidt Brothers: Jack and Joe w/Ron Paul (R-TX) and Jim Schmidt

PCW Women’s Tag Team Title Match-Three Way Dance:
(c) The Korver Sisters: Kelly and Korey (D) vs. The Mercenaries: Dawn McGill and Svetlana Kovelevski (I) vs. Merchants of Death: Angel Scott and Angel Casey (R)

PCW CEO Barack Obama (D-IL) comes out and welcomes everyone to Iowa…no, I mean Kansas…no Nebraska.

Obama announces that he is once again is going around the PCW Competition Committee and booking a very special match for tonight’s show.  His former protegee O’Beck Bahama (D) goes up against ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R) and Obama adds a stipulation- if Bahama wins he will be added to the PCW title match at Jesusland vs. Progressiveville.  If Scott wins, he will take the place of fellow Republican Magnum P.O.’d in the match.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

MATCH #1- PCW Women’s #1 Contender Match
‘The American Girl’ Sarah Mae Smith (R) vs. Kathryn Randall Collins (D)

Smith looking for a shot at the reigning PCW Women’s Champion Valora Salinas (I).  KRC wants her shot at winning back the PCW Women’s title.

…Smith in control.  She locks Collins up in the cobra clutch.   Then Union Maid, Soccer Mom, and Code Pink (D) hit the ring.  Soccer Mom yells “It’s For the Children!”  and belts Smith in the mouth with a right hand.  Code Pink fires off a Glitter Bomb and blinds Smith.  Union Maid lifts her up and gets ready to deliver the Scabbuster when…

Suave: “IT’S LANI HARLOT- THE TRAILER PARK QUEEN!”

Lani Harlot w/the White Trash Posse: Shane and Jeff

Harlot and the Posse clean house.  Outside the ring, Harlot drags Soccer Mom down and locks in the White Trash Compactor.

Back in the ring, Smith connects with a missile drop kick and rolls up KRC.  But KRC grabs the tights at the last possible second and rolls Smith.  1…2…3.

WINNER: Kathryn Randall Collins (D)

Post match, this picture appears on the screen…

Valora storms the ring with a briefcase and cracks it over KRC’s head.  She puts the Democrat in a Bow and Arrow-type submission move and won’t let up.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Back from break, PCW Men’s Champion Stone Chism, seconded by Skanky Rich Bimbo Kim Kardashian, is now in the ring while KRC is being attended to.   Valora stands in the corner and glares at ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List.’ Chism asks that the new PCW Top 5 contenders list be put up.

SINGLES CONTENDERS:
#1- Magnum P.O.’d (R)
#2- ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R)
#3- O’Beck Bahama (D)
#4- Charlie Blackwell (I)
#5- Valora Salinas (I)

Chism calls Valora’s appearance in the top 5 a complete joke.  He calls her extreme…

Suave: “Yeah, the Queen of Extreme, thank you.”

…and says she might be able to handle weaklings like Charlie Blackwell (I) but she could not stay in the ring with a man who actually knows what he’s doing- like him.  Kim starts pointing her finger at Valora and shouts something at her.  Valora’s face turns beet red but then she asks for a mic.  She challenges Chism and Kardashian to a tag team match tonight against her and…Kris Humphries!

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Suave announces that the match is on between Valora Salinas and Kris Humphries and Stone Chism/Kim Kardashian.

MATCH #2
PCW Women’s Champion Valora Salinas (I) and Kris Humphries vs. PCW Men’s Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) and Skanky Rich Bimbo Kim Kardashian

The match starts and Chism refuses to wrestle Valora.  He demands Humphries gets into the ring instead.

…Humphries tags in and now it’s him vs. Kim.  Kardashian tries to tag out but Chism is busy jawing with some fans.  Valora pounds on the ropes and tells him to go after Kim.  Humphries hesitates.  Valora again exhorts him to wrestle Kim.  Again Humphries dithers.  Finally, Valora climbs through the ropes into the ring.  She gets into Humphries’ face- Kris pushes her back.  Valora kicks him in the balls and hits the stunner.  Kim jumps up and down and claps.  Valora drags Humphries up and whips him into Kim.

They hit head to head and both Kardashian and Humphries are KO’d.  Valora turns Humphries over on top of Kim.  Chism puts one foot in the ring but does not attempt to rescue Kardashian.  1…2…3.

WINNER: Valora Salinas and Kris Humphries @ 8:32

Valora turns her back on Chism for a split second and then catches him trying to Pearl Harbor her.  Chism scrambles back out but Valora grabs him by the hair.  She kicks Chism in the balls and then stuns him, snapping his neck over the top rope and sending the Men’s Champion flying backwards to the floor.

Replay: Last Week on PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN
PCW Men’s Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) snatches Valora from behind.  Lift…HOLLYWOOD BLOCKBUSTER ON THE FLOOR!

Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”

Valora’s out.  Chism pulls her up and throws her into the ring.   Kim and Kourtney get in a couple shots.  Chism gets on the mic and chides Valora for actually thinking that she, the PCW Women’s Champion, can compete with him- or any man for that matter.  He slaps her face and the SRB get in a couple more shots.  Chism calls for his bag and a ring tech throws it to him.  He reaches in and pulls out a couple oven mitts.  Chism says it’s time Valora knew her role and that’s in the kitchen.  He puts the oven mitts on her hands.

Suave: “I love watching the left do sexism.”

Chism pulls out an apron next.  He rolls Valora over and puts the apron on her.  Kim and Kourtney laugh at the PCW Women’s Champion.  Chism says Valora will never, ever be good enough to be in the same ring with him.  He adds that Valora should go back home, have babies, and leave pro wrestling to the big boys.

Valora opens up the briefcase she’s had with her all night long- inside is a French Maid’s uniform.  She then dresses Chism up in the outfit and flips him off as she leaves.

END OF HOUR ONE

Credit Rating Blame Battles: 8/8- PCW Extreme Political TV

PCW Extreme Political TV
Fairgrounds Ice Arena
Watertown, NY
Monday August 8th, 2011
Host: Johnny Suave

Suave not in the ring but already at the broadcast booth.  He introduces a video package on O’Beck Bahama…

Video Package of former PCW Champion O’Beck Bahama (D)
-the night he won the PCW title at Extreme Election Night 2008 as Barack Obama’s standard bearer.
-the night he lost the PCW title in August, 2009 to ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism at the WWR Completely Deranged supershow.  Bahama suffered a mild concussion in the four-way match when his head hit the ring bell.
-Sept. 16, 2009 match against Starz N. Stripes- Bahama looks very sluggish and loses.

Suave explains that two days later, Bahama was diagnosed with post concussion syndrome and like that he was gone for nearly two years.

Video package- O’Beck Bahama
-Bahama makes his PCW return at the July 4th, 2011 show and teases a possible return.
-August 4th, 2011- Bahama officially returns to PCW.

MATCH #1
O’Beck Bahama (D) vs. Ken Kendall (I)
-Bahama looks to be in the best shape of his life.  He’s dropped about ten pounds over his wrestling weight in 2009.  Kendall is a tomato can set up for Bahama to get the rust out.

…easy match for the former PCW Champion who overwhelms Kendall in less than four minutes to get the pin at 3:46.

Suave talks to Bahama after the match and asks him how he feels.  Bahama says he feels fine and it’s nice to be back.

COMMERCIAL

PCW is brought to you this week by…

John F. Kerry (D-MA) storms out and says the previous commercial from Free Credit dot com is not funny.  Kerry says the drop in PCW’s credit rating is not funny.  Liberal groups all agree, this is the Tea Party’s fault.

Average Joe (Tea Party) comes out.  Joe tells Kerry not to hide his true feelings behind his suit and let him know his true feelings about himself.  Kerry wags his finger at Average Joe and calls him smug and overrated, and the Tea Party attention-seeking misfits who puts too much stock into their own hype.   Average Joe turns it around on Kerry and suggests he look in a mirror.

The new tag team, The Massachusetts Bluebloods- Jay F. Kennedy and Ray F. Kennedy come out and talk about how Liberals Democrats are intellectually and culturally superior to to the Tea Party barbarians and should be receiving proper respect.  ‘Tin Cup’ Ray McAvay joins Average Joe and grabs the mic.  McAvay lays out an open challenge to the Bluebloods to take them on right here, right now.  Before we can get much further though,  Triple R’s (D) and he comes out with a mic of his own. 

Triple R says this is the darkest day in his life, to be stuck in this dumpy ring with the Tea Party.  However, Joe Biden​ has apparently commended him on his incestual fortitude to appear here tonight.  In fact , Move On.Org told him they wanted to see the Tea Party rest in peace after causing PCW’s bond rating to fall.  David Axelrod rang him up to tell him he wanted the Tea Party on the next train headed towards oblivion.  And, in fact, PCW King of Extreme Champion Keith Olbermann gave Triple R his consent to unleash the biggest can of whoop ass ever seen on the Worst People in the World- The Tea Party, and he’s decided that’s exactly what he’s going to do.

MATCH #2
The Tea Party: Average Joe, ‘Tin Cup’ Ray McAvay, and Matt Damn
vs.
The Massachusetts Bluebloods: Jay F. and Ray F. Kennedy (D) w/John F. Kerry (D-MA)

Nancy Pelosi (D) makes her way down to the ring as well.   The Tea Party start the match off with a triple team inverted atomic drop on the Democrats.  McAvay then forces a kiss onto Pelosi and gets a massive pop.

…Damn gets taken down with ease several times by Triple R.  He gets locked in the cross-arm-breaker, but Damn makes the ropes.  Damn finally gets some offense with a hard powerbomb, Triple R fires back with a Singapore cane shot or two to get a 2 count before the break.

COMMERCIAL

…After break, Kerry again steams about the Free Credit dot com commercial and everyone breaks out their big moves.  Average Joe gets crotched on the top rope by JFK.  JFK goes for the Camelot Pedigree, but McAvay breaks it up.  Triple R slams Tin Cup off the apron and through the table at ringside!   Triple R then hits a crazy springboard backflip pele kick on Average Joe and gets the pin at 16:42.

BACKSTAGE
PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein talks with The Triple Threat: Katie Collins (R), ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas (R), and Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (R)

Replay from last Thursday’s PCW Politics Is War on P-SPAN show: The Triple Threat’s Dallas and Jones interfere in Collins’s match against Valora and help her get the win.

Bernstein asks about what went down.  Collins replied that it wasn’t personal.  Collins says she was the last Missouri Valley Wrestling Television Champion.  Collins was a two time PCW Women’s Champion.  She feels she deserves the first title shot against new PCW Women’s Champion Callie Urban and will do what needs to be done to get it.

Leader of the PCW Competition Committee John Boehner (R) comes out and tells Katie not to worry, she indeed will get her title shot against Urban Thursday night on PCW Politics Is War  on P-SPAN.

COMMERCIAL

‘The Original Massachusetts Blueblood’ John Kerry again angrily denounces whomever is playing the Free Credit dot com commercials.

Bernie Sanders (I-VT):
“I find it interesting to see S&P so vigilant today in downgrading the US credit rating. Where were they 4 years ago when they, and other credit rating agencies, helped cause this horrendous recession by providing AAA ratings to worthless sub-prime mortgage securities on behalf of Wall Street investment firms?”

‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin (R):
“Be wary of the efforts PCW CEO Obama makes to “fix” the debt problem. The more he tries to “fix” things, the worse they get because his “solutions” always involve spending more, taxing more, growing government, and increasing debt.

“This debt problem is the greatest challenge facing our country today.Obviously, President Obama doesn’t have a plan or even a notion of how to deal with it. His press conference today was just a rehash of his old talking points and finger-pointing. That’s why he can’t be re-elected in 2012.”

Matt Damon vs. Tea Party/Sarah Palin vs. Mike Doyle: 8/4-PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN

PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN (2 hrs)
Bender Arena
Washington, D.C.
Thursday August 4th, 2011
Host: Johnny Suave

‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave starts the show in the ring but he’s quickly kicked out by MSNBC’s Martin Brashir and psychologist and addiction expert Stanton Peele.

Bashir asks Peele to analyze the Tea Party.  Peele states that the Tea Partiers are suffering from some sort of psychosis and are the equivalent of ‘drug addicts’ seeking an euphoric high.

Suave: “Funny, I thought the Tea Partiers were tired of taxes going up and government mismanaging the money.”

Peele goes on to compare Tea Party people to Norway’s mass murderer Anders Breivik and says they will lash out like Breivik did if they fail to attain that high.  “It reminds us of addiction because addicts are seeking something that they can’t have.   They [Tea Party members] want a state of happiness or nirvana that can’t be achieved except through an artificial substance and reminds us of the Norway situation, when people are thwarted at obtaining something they can’t, have they often strike out and Norway is one kind of example to one kind of reaction to that kind of a frustration.”

Bashir asks Peele if the Tea Party is delusional about the past and adamant about the future.  Peele: “They are adamant about achieving something that’s unachievable, which reminds us of a couple of things. It reminds us of delusion and psychosis-”

Def Leppard’s ‘Tear It Down’ begins.

The crowd roars as the Extreme Equalizer, Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, makes his way down to the ring.

You got the look of a howlin’ wolf
I like it
The kind of eyes that could start a fire
Yes, I like it

A streetwise dynamo
I switch you on and I watch you go
A thrill to touch, you’re so hot
I’m coming for you ready or not

I’m gettin’ ready
Livin’ on the edge of a dream
Gettin’ ready, I’m gettin’ ready
Oh, switch on your lovin’ machine

Crowd: What the #$##!  What the #$##!

Tear it down
There’s got to be a better way
Tear it down
I can’t wait another day

Bashir and Peele get grabbed by the neck.  Then, kick to the stomach, twin chokeslams to the floor, and WTF flips both of them off.

Suave: “I love it when cultural bigots get theirs.”

COMMERCIAL

MATCH #1- Handicap Match
“The Insanely Mad Hungarian” Alec Hrabosky (I) vs. Jered Weaver of the LA Angels and Justin Verlander of the Detroit Tigers
-Verlander calls Weaver a hot head for throwing a pitch at Alex Avila’s head.  Weaver calls Verlander a whiner for complaining about Erik Aybar’s bunt single in the 8th inning.  In the end, Weaver and Verlander spend more time fighting each other instead of Hrabosky.

After tossing Verlander unceremoniously out of the ring, Hrabosky lands a haymaker left hand and pins Weaver for the win @ 6:42

COMMERCIAL

The California Teachers Union: “Foul Pole” Andy Golatta (D), Malibu Dusty (D), and their pet governor on a leash Jerry Brown (D-CA), are in the ring with actor Matt Damon.   Damon cuts a promo and declared incentives — like bonuses for good performance or ending tenure for bad ones — don’t work for teachers.   “You think job insecurity makes people work hard?  That’s like saying a teacher is going to get lazy when she has tenure.  A teacher wants to teach.  Why else would you take a sh*@#y salary and really long hours and do that job unless you really loved to do it?”

Damon then turns his thoughts to the debt limit… ““It’s criminal. . . . I really don’t mind paying more taxes. I’d rather pay for taxes than cut like, ‘Reading is Fundamental’ or ‘Head Start’ or some of these programs that are really helping kids.  I didn’t go start a small business with my tax break, and I don’t know anyone else who did. No, everybody’s socking their money away.”

“Okay, that’s enough!”

Average Joe, NRA, and ‘Tin Cup’ Ray McAvay of the Tea Party come to the ring.  Average Joe has a microphone.  “First off, Matt.  Here’s the difference between me and you.  You support big teacher’s unions; I support teachers.”

The CTU gesture at the Tea Party.

“And Mr. Damon, I encourage you, who as a rich celebrity is a corporation upon himself, to graciously offer to pay more of your income in taxes and set a good example for others like you to follow…”

Damon snaps and goes Jason Bourne on Average Joe.  Golatta and Malibu Dusty attack NRA and McAvay.  It looks bad for the Tea Party.  Then…

Suave: “IT’S CHUCK @#$#-ING NORRIS!”

Norris decks Golatta with a roundhouse kick.  Norris drops Malibu Dusty with a roundhouse kick.  Norris turns to Damon, smiles, and blasts him with a thrust kick.

Suave: “NORRIS CLEANS HOUSE!”  Why, because he’s fucking Chuck Norris, that’s why.

COMMERCIAL

MATCH #2
Texas Jack (R) w/Rick Perry (R-TX) vs. Jamie Walker (R) w/Jon Huntsman (R-UT)
Texas Jack has been coming on strong with the backing of the undeclared PCW CEO candidate Rick Perry.  Walker has floundered over the past few weeks as Huntsman’s support hasn’t translated into victories.

-Jack acts as if he totally wants to kill Walker and thus makes him suffer as much as possible. Perry even gets in on the fun when he stops Huntsman from throwing in the towel when Texas Jack puts Walker in the crossface.  Then Jack starts spiking him in the head, and forces Walker to quit @ 7:52

COMMERCIAL

UPCOMING PCW SHOWS

8/8- PCW Extreme Political TV

8/11- PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN

8/15- PCW Extreme Political TV

8/18- PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN

8/22- PCW Extreme Political TV

8/25- PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN

9/5- PCW Extreme Political TV

9/8- PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN

9/12- PCW Extreme Political TV

9/15- PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN

9/19- PCW Extreme Political TV

9/22- PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN

9/26- PCW Lock and Load PPV

Backstage
The Democrats surround PCW CEO Barack Obama and sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to him on his fiftieth birthday.

MATCH #3
Magnum PO’d (R) w/Robyn Masters vs. ‘Bureaucrat’ Andy Riley (D)
Magnum PO’d is in the mix to pick up an potential Republican suitor.  Riley is just looking for a win.

-Riley opens up a major can of whup-ass on Riley and he seems to have it won with the Red Tape Restriction, but Masters drills Riley with a chair to give Magnum the win @ 8:24.

COMMERCIAL

Mike Doyle Segment
Mike Doyle (D-PA) comes to the ring to explain his remarks on PCW Extreme Political TV Monday night.  He says that he really didn’t call the Tea Party terrorists when he called them terrorists.

Joe Biden, PCW CEO Barack Obama’s aide de camp, joins Doyle and assures everyone that Doyle is correct- they really weren’t calling the Tea Party terrorists when they called them terrorists.  Biden adds he never said that either.

This goes on until there’s a commotion in the back.  Then Sarah Palin races down the aisle with a harpoon gun.  Immediately, Doyle and Biden evacuate the ring and take off running.  Palin chases them around the ring several times before Doyle splits off and goes one way, Biden the other.  Palin follows Biden and just as Biden reaches the back, she fires the harpoon gun at him…

MATCH #4
Valora Salinas (I) vs. The Triple Threat’s Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (R) w/Katie Collins (R) and ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas (R)
-Salinas held the MVW title for nearly a year as well as Wrestling Midwest’s top title.  She is a force to be reckoned with.  Kalee Jones is in the best shape of her life, super strong, and has a nasty disposition.

…Salinas catches the Eskimo Queen bending over for a back body drop.  Suddenly, it’s lights out.  Light’s on.  ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas lariats Salinas!  She goes for a second clothesline and gets Salinas AND Kalee Jones as well!  Jones falls on top of Salinas.  But the former MVW Champion somehow kicks out at two again.  Valora decides to go for a steel chair, but Jones pulls her back in the ring.  Valora slips out the backdoor of a slam and goes for a DDT.  Lights off.  Lights on.  Katie Collins in the ring!  She hits the implant buster!

Jones lifts Valora up…ESKIMO PIEFACE!  One, two, three!  It’s Kalee Jones @ 11:05

COMMERCIAL

*flute and clarinet flourish*

Two men come out and unroll a white carpet to the ring steps. Dancers then dance. Ballet dancers…ballet?  Little children walk up the white carpet and drop rose petals. Someone lets loose some pigeons…not sure just how they’ll get out of the building.  The crowd stands as PCW CEO Barack Obama appears.  Behind Obama, Joe Biden peeks his head out and refuses to come out.  Obama finally orders Biden out and the aide de camp reluctantly does.  Palin’s harpoon sticks out of his ass.

Suave: “Well, there’s a visual I’ll never be able to get out of my mind.”

Obama gets on the mic and thanks everyone for the well wishes on his 50th birthday.  He announces that he, in turn, has a surprise for all of us.   A spotlight shines in the back and then the crowd explodes when former PCW Champion O’Beck Bahama makes his way to the ring.

Suave: “Who could ever forget this…”

PCW Extreme Election Night 2008- PCW Champion Starz N. Stripes- now Kevin Scott (R) vs. challenger O’Beck Bahama (D)
Everyone is standing up in the building.

Suave: “THIS CROWD IS GOING NUTS! JOHN McCAIN HAS SAVED THREE PINFALLS! HOLD ON. BAHAMA WANTS A TABLE SET UP OUTSIDE THE RING.”

Obama quickly sets up a table. Bahama picks up Starz. He runs towards the ropes and heaves him over. Starz destroys the table.

Suave: “AWESOME BOMB! AWESOME BOMB! AWESOME BOMB! BAHAMA TO THE TOP ROPE. 45O SPLASH! HE COVERS. ONE…WAIT! WHAT’S DICK CHENEY DOING. HE RUNS INTO McCAIN…”

The bell rings.

Suave: “THAT WAS THE BELL? WAIT A MINUTE…CHARLENE ANN BECKWORTH IN THE RING.”

Charlene Ann: “LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! THE WINNER BY PINFALL AND NEW PCW-”

The deafening crowd drowned out the rest…

Bahama thanks the crowd for the ovation.   And then he gets serious.  He wants to know what happened to the ‘change.’  Three years ago, Bahama says we were fighting for change and hope for more civility.  He’s come back to PCW and things haven’t changed a whole lot.

Tin Machine’s “Under the God” interrupts Bahama and the PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka (D) comes to the ring.  Tanaka, through an interpreter blames it on questionable decisions made by leadership.  He cites the instance where fellow Democrats ‘One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism and Triple R got together to take him out so they would have an avenue to the PCW title.

This brings out Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) and Harry Reid (D-NV).  They strenuously object to Tanaka’s statement about the leadership.  Pelosi and Reid blame Republicans for spreading misinformation and trying to split the Democrats.

This brings out former two time PCW Champion Kevin Scott (R).  Scott welcomes Bahama back to PCW and hopes they get a chance to recreate the great match they had in 2008.  Scott calls the Democrats hypocrites who complain about how the Republicans are too extreme when they themselves are just as extreme.

This brings out Triple R (D).  He says Bahama’s problem was that he wasn’t extreme enough.  “You can’t defeat extremists without being just as extreme!”

This brings out ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D).  Chism says Bahama’s real problem was that he didn’t have Chism’s charisma.  And neither does Tanaka.  Chism asserts that when he was the PCW Champion, PCW flourished.  Now under Tanaka, not so much.

This brings out the current PCW Television Champion Daniel-San and Mrs. Miyagi.  Daniel-San laughs at Chism.  Mrs. Miyagi tells him that he’s all talk and over the weekend Daniel-San proved to the world that Chism isn’t much of a wrestler.

Bahama thanks everyone for their ‘critiques.’   He says he’s back full time and his goal is the nothing less than winning the PCW title.  For all of his ‘shortcomings,’ Bahama thinks he has a solution…

Out walks PCW Hall of Famer and former PCW Champion ‘Not Just Unbearable, Not Just Intolerable, He is JUSTIN SUFFERABLE!  Singapore cane in hand, Sufferable points it at Triple R, Stone Chism, and finally, Yamamoto Tanaka.  Reid and Pelosi applaud.  The crowd stands.  And that’s all for this week’s PCW Politics is War.

Debt Deal Done: 8/1-PCW Extreme Political TV

PCW Extreme Political TV
Wood County Fair
Bowling Green, Ohio
Monday August 1st, 2011
Host: Johnny Suave

Suave welcomes everyone to PCW on a night where “finally, an agreement was reached on the PCW deficit and debt.”   He shocks the crowd by introducing Gabby Giffords (D-AZ) to the crowd- her first PCW appearance since her near fatal shooting several months ago.

The crowd gives Giffords a standing ovation.

Suave: “So the compromise has passed and an agreement to reduce spending by 2.4 trillion dollars.”

Mike Doyle (D-PA) and several Democrats stomp out to the ring with Aide de Camp Joe Biden (D) and takes the microphone from Suave.  Doyle says the agreement sucks.  “We’ve negotiated with terrorists.  This small group of terrorists have made it impossible to spend any money.”  Biden agrees that the Tea Party have acted like terrorists.

This brings out the Tea Party in the form of Average Joe, NRA, ‘Tin Cup’ Ray McAvay, and Tromeo and Dr. Molly Greenwald.  Average Joe tells Doyle he’s full of crap.  “Tea Partiers are ordinary people fed up with the extraordinary crap going on.”  Average Joe tells Doyle that ordinary Americans don’t have the luxury of merely printing more money to pay off their debts.  Dr. Greenwald says to call them terrorists because they’re finally standing up to the special interests and demanding change shows a deep seated hatred of average Americans.

Biden immediately tries to back up on his ‘terrorist’ remark.

Average Joe fires back.  “Does this guy have a mirror in his home or office? As usual, politicians casts the blame everywhere other then where it belongs, on dem and repub elites.  For the most part, Tea Party folks seem to be listening to the citizen. The same can’t be said for republicans and democrats presently in power. The political extortion he refers to is the art of lying, misdirection, distortion, and hackery, practiced by those who’ve been in office for what seems forever. Both mainline parties are at fault for this!”

COMMERCIAL

Back from break, ‘Hardball’ Chris Matthews, CBS’s Norah O’Donnell, the Angry Left Wing Bloggers (Markos Moutilsas, Paul Krugman, Eric Boehlert, and Arianna Huffington) have attacked the Tea Party and there’s brawling in the ring.

‘Do You Hear the People Sing?’ from the musical Les Miserables begins to play.

Do you hear the people sing?
Singing a song of angry men?
It is the music of a people
Who will not be slaves again!
When the beating of your heart
Echoes the beating of the drums
There is a life about to start
When tomorrow comes!

Independents Charlie Blackwell and “No Frills” Chris Escondido race out with Blackwell’s Les Miserables and dive into the middle of the fracas.  Blackwell and Escondido clean house and start ejecting people from the ring.  First, Matthews.  Then Markos.  O’Donnell.  Krugman.  Boehlert.  Finally, Huffington.

*YOU’RE THE WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD!*

PCW King of Extreme Titleholder Keith Olbermann of Current TV and his FOK buddies Shannyn Moore, David Shuster, and Rachel Maddow jump into the ring and attack Blackwell and Escondido.  Blackwell’s Les Miserables then swarm the ring and finally security arrives to try and sort all this out.

COMMERCIAL

MATCH #1
Code Pink (D) and Emily List (D) vs. The Triple Threat: Katie Collins (R) and ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas (R) w/Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (R)

This match stems from last Thursday’s brawl.  Bill Maher (D) had come out and trashed Republican and Independent women.  The Triple Threat take exception.  Code Pink and Emily List Glitter Bomb Collins and Dallas.  Jones Eskimo Piefaces Pink and List.

…Collins with a bear hug on Emily List.   List fights her way out of it and tags in Code Pink.  Pink with an elbow and then gives Collins a pair of shotgun knees.  Then Pink connects with a facewash kick for a two count.  List sneaks back in and tries to get a Glitter Bomb but Kalee Jones jumps in, grabs her, and tosses her out of the ring.  Code Pink misses the leg lariat and Collins locks in the PPD (Personal Political Destructor) for the win @ 8:25

Suave describes the high emotion backstage as everyone comes to terms with the deficit/debt agreement.  “Perhaps, emotions are running too hot.”

BACKSTAGE
Doug Lamborn (R-Colorado): “Even if some people say, well the Republicans should have done this or they should have done that, they will hold Obama responsible.  Now I don’t want to even have to be associated with him. It’s like touching a tar baby and you get, you get it, you know… you are stuck and you are part of the problem now and you can’t get away.”

Def Leppard’s ‘Tear It Down’ begins.

You got the look of a howlin’ wolf
I like it
The kind of eyes that could start a fire
Yes, I like it

A streetwise dynamo
I switch you on and I watch you go
A thrill to touch, you’re so hot
I’m coming for you ready or not

I’m gettin’ ready
Livin’ on the edge of a dream
Gettin’ ready, I’m gettin’ ready
Oh, switch on your lovin’ machine

Crowd: What the #$##!  What the #$##!

Tear it down
There’s got to be a better way
Tear it down
I can’t wait another day

Lamborn gets blasted by the Extreme Equalizer.  Then, kick to the stomach, powerbomb to the floor, and WTF flips him off.

COMMERCIAL

MAIN EVENT (From Golden Dreams’s Show)
PCW Television Champion Daniel-San (I) w/Mrs. Miyagi vs. ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) w/the Skanky Rich Bimbos: Kim, Courtney, and Chloe

…Chism kicks him in the face but Daniel-San shrugs it off! Daniel-San takes Chism to the floor and Daniel-San drags Chism to the middle of the ring!  Superkick by Daniel-San… Superkick! Superkick! Superkick!

Suave: “ANOTHER SUPERKICK AND CHISM IS DOWN!

The Skanky Rich Bimbos: Kim, Courtney, and Chloe slip into the ring and get in front of Daniel-San.  All three girls whip off their tops

Suave: “WARDROBE MALFUNCTION!  WARDROBE MALFUNCTION!  God, I love that move…WARDROBE MALFUNCTION!”

Mrs. Miyagi rolls her eyes and leaps back into the ring.  She grabs Gore’s Singapore cane and starts whipping the SRB with it.  Blackwell throws them out of the ring.  Daniel-San raises his hand and left foot.

Suave: “HERE IT COMES.”

Daniel-San kicks Chism in the jaw.

Suave: “CRANE KICK!  CRANE KICK!  DANIEL-SAN BACK DOWN…LABELL LOCK!  LABELL LOCK!  LABELL LOCK!”

Chism furiously taps out.

Suave: “THAT’S IT!  DANIEL-SAN RETAINS!”

Mrs. Miyagi holds up Daniel-San’s arm.

Suave: “HUGE WIN FOR DANIEL-SAN!

————————-

…

Harry Reid vs. Sharron Angle, Murkowski vs. Miller vs. McAdams: 11/2 PCW Extreme Election Night 2010- Part 5

BACKSTAGE

Harry Reid (D-Nevada) exits his dressing room and slowly makes his way down the hall.

Suave- Harry Reid is wrestling for his job tonight.  Nancy Pelosi was fired earlier in the evening.  Reid could suffer the same fate if he does not defeat Sharron Angle here tonight.

Harry Reid (D)
vs.

Sharron Angle (R-Nevada)

End Match Summary
…Angle tries to go up and over.  Reid catches her and throws her to the outside…her face hits the steps!

Suave- Both Angle and Reid have thrown everything but the kitchen sink at each other.

Back inside, Reid with a series of rights and a flying forearm, then a side slam. Reid wants the body slam…he connects 1…2…no. Reid whips Angle into the ropes…Lou Thesz Press?   1…2…2.89!   Spinning Tombstone by Reid…got it! 1…2…3!

WINNER: Harry Reid (D-Nevada) @ 8:23

Suave- We’ll I’ll be…Reid pulls it off and keeps his job.  We’ve got the big Alaska showdown and the PCW title match coming up next.

Kimber in the ring for the next match.

Kimber- Our next match is a three-way dance.  From the great State of Alaska, in the white corner, Independent- LISA MURKOWSKI!

Lisa Murkowski (I)

Kimber- Her opponent is in the red corner tonight.  Representing the Republicans- JOE MILLER!

Joe Miller (R)

Kimber- And their opponent in the blue corner, Democrat SCOTT McADAMS!

Scott McAdams (D)

Suave- Well?  This one could be very interesting.

The referee tries to give the wrestlers some instructions about the match but Murkowski apparently heard them before so she hits Miller in the nuts.

Suave- And we’re off…

The bell rings.  To the floor they go.  Miller Russian leg sweeps Murkowski into the barricade.

Suave- That’ll screw up your complexion.  Kick to the head by Miller.  He’s got someone’s glass of beer.

Miller piefaces Murkowski with the beer.

Suave- Seems like a waste of a perfectly good glass of beer.

Back inside the ring, McAdams just watches.

Miller props a chair in the corner of the barricade.  He tries to whip Murkowski, she’s reverses it and Miller goes head first into the chair.   Murkowski rams Miller into the barricade and spits in his face.  She takes someone’s can of pop and smacks Miller with the can.

Suave- And Miller’s busted open.

Murkowski sets up two chairs on the floor and tries to suplex Miller onto them. Miller counters and gets the drop toehold into the chairs!  Murkowski staggers up and gets blasted with a chair shot.

Suave- HOLY CRAP!

Miller pulls a bloodied Murkowski up and whips her into the steps. She finally rolls into the ring.

Suave- MURKOWSKI IS BUSTED OPEN BIG TIME!

Miller stomps on her.  Then he sets up a chair.  Miller sends Murkowski for the ride, she reverses and drop toeholds Miller into the chair with a sickening whack!

Suave- HOLY CRAP!

Murkowski grabs a sign from the crowd.  She blasts Miller with it.  Now she throws the sign down and grabs Miller by the head.

Suave- BULLDOG ON THE SIGN!

Murkowski pulls him up again and bulldogs Miller on to the sign a second time.  She goes to the outside and fetches a ladder!

Suave- Oh, no, no, no…

Murkowski puts the ladder up over the top rope and goes to the ring apron.  Miller drags himself up.  Murkowski jumps to the floor and the ladder slingshots up and slams into Miller’s jaw.  Ow.

Suave- HOLY CRAP!  I THINK MILLER’S GOING TO NEED TO ACTIVATE HIS DENTAL PLAN AFTER THAT!

Murkowski doesn’t cover.  Instead, she hangs Miller in the tree of woe.  Then she climbs up the turnbuckle and stands on his nuts.

Suave- OW!  OW!  OW!

Murkowski puts the sign in front of Miller’s face.  She steps back and hits the basement dropkick into the sign.  Miller slides off the turnbuckle and melts into the mat.

Suave- Murkowski has Miller in la la land.  She goes for the cover…one…two…NO!

‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin (R)

Suave- IT’S THE ALASKAN PITBULL, SARAH PALIN!  SHE JUST KILLED MURKOWSKI WITH A HOCKEY STICK SHOT.

Hockey stick shot number two to Murkowski from Palin. Hockey stick shot to McAdam’s (remember him?) back by Palin.  Palin creams Murkowski with a trash can lid and then blasts her with a Teflon Skillet shot.  McAdams gets up and Palin piefaces him with the skillet.  The referee finally gets Palin out of the ring.

Suave- Murkowski is down.  Miller is down.  McAdams is down.  How the hell is this going to end?

Miller is the first to move.  He crawls over to McAdams and covers him.

Suave- MILLER!  ONE…TWO…THREE!

ELIMINATED: Scott McAdams (D)

Suave- NOW, CAN HE MAKE IT OVER TO MURKOWSKI?

Miller pulls himself up and stumbles towards Murkowski.  Out of nowhere, Murkowski’s up and she spears Miller.

Suave- GORE!  GORE!  GORE!

Palin tears towards the ring  Murkowski hooks the leg.  One…two…three.

Suave- MURKOWSKI PULLS IT OFF!

Palin’s too late to save Miller.  But she and Murkowski start up again.

WINNER: Lisa Murkowski (I) @ 12:33

Murkowski and Palin brawl all the way to the back.

—————-

Chris Coons-Christine O’Donnell Skirmish: Will Meet at Extreme Election Night

Another match has been added to the upcoming PCW Extreme Election Night 2010.

Last night at a PCW House show in Bedford, Indiana, Chris Coons (D) and Christine O’Donnell (R) got into it in the ring.

Christine O’Donnell (R), Chris Coons (D)

O’Donnell was defending her remarks she made the other night concerning the First Amendment when Coons came in and disputed her.

O’Donnell: “For the last time, I was asking you where in the Constitution is separation of church and state?  You’ve totally taken that out of proportion and-”

Coons: “The First Amendment establishes the separation, the fact that the federal government shall not establish any religion, and decisional law by the Supreme Court over many, many decades—”

O’Donnell: “The First Amendment does?”

Coons: “See!  You did it again!”

O’Donnell: “No I didn’t.”

Coons: “Yes, you did.”

O’Donnell: “No, I didn’t!”

Coons: “Yes, you did.”

O’Donnell: “Didn’t.”

Coons: “Did.”

O’Donnell: “Didn’t.”

Coons: “DID.”

O’Donnell: “DIDN’T!”

Coons: “DI-”

At that point, O’Donnell stomped on his foot and then kicked him in the balls.  Coons grabbed onto her arm and slingshot her through the ropes as he fell to the mat.

PCW Press Secretary Robert Gibbs announced this morning that O’Donnell and Coons have been added to the card for PCW Extreme Election Night 2010.

PCW Night of Champions Preview

This coming Monday night’s Night of Champions card:

Jill Berg (R) vs. Triple R (D)- winner is guaranteed a PCW Title match at November’s PCW Extreme Election Night 2010.
-can Jill-Berg continue her quest to become the first woman to win the PCW title? Or will Triple R take his own step forward towards the title he’s long coveted?

PCW Television Title Match
Ken Worth- The American Trucker (I-American Heartland) (c) vs. Doug ‘King Kong’ Kingman (R)
-it’ll be the strength of Kingman versus the guile and experience of Worth.

PCW Tag Team Title Match
The Kings of Old School: Ricky Michaels and Marty Lane (D) (c) vs. The International Hit Squad: ‘Foul Pole’ Andy Golatta and Daniel-San (I)
-the Democrats want to hang on to this title badly. Can the Kings hold off the freight train known as Golatta and Daniel-San? Or will the ‘Foul Pole’ chop the Kings down to size?

PCW Title Match
Yamamoto Tanaka (D) (c) vs. ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D)
-Chism lost the PCW title some five plus months ago to Tanaka. Now, he returns with ‘The World’s Smartest Man’ Stephen Hawking in his corner. Can Chism use Hawking’s brains to overcome Tanaka’s brawn? Or will the Japanese SuperDestroyer continue his title reign?

Catch all the action from the PCW Hall in Archbold, Ohio next Monday.

8/16- PCW Extreme Political TV Recap

PCW Extreme Political TV on P-SPAN (2 hours)
Hamden High School Auditorium
Hamden, CT
Monday August 16th

by Paige McGillicutty

Tonight was the go-home show leading to next week’s PCW Lock and Load 5 Pay Per View.  Let’s see how it went…

HOUR ONE:

The show opened with footage of the Tea Party (NRA and Hunter the Hunter)  vs. The BiPartisan Dream Team(Rino- The Wonk Machine and Blue Dog D.)

MATCH #1
NRA and Hunter the Hunter (Tea Party)
vs.
The Bipartisan Dream Team: Rino (R) and Blue Dog D (D)

Blue Dog D climbed to the top rope, Hunter the Hunter kicked him off.  Blue Dog D bumped hard to the floor and into the steel guard rail.  NRA then hit a top rope clothesline for a two count.

Rino now in.  He missed a spear and collided with the corner turnbuckle.   NRA rolled him up for the pin.

WINNER: Tea Party @ 9:06

Highlights aired of last week’s angle where Arizona Republicans J.D. Hayworth and John McCain chose their wrestlers (Hayworth- Doug ‘King Kong’ Kingman…

Doug ‘King Kong’ Kingman (R)

…McCain- Magnum P.O.’d)…

Magnum, P.O.’d (R)

…for August 24th’s Arizona Showdown in the Desert.  After both sides began jawing back and forth, The Tea Party attacked John McCain.   Also shown was Jill-Berg…

Jill-Berg

…debuting her public service announcements.

Johnny Suave interviewed Nancy Pelosi (D) in mid-ring.

Nancy Pelosi (D)

Gary Treehugger, his valet Fern Sequoia, Code Pink, and Emily List (D) accompanied her.  Code Pink grabbed the mic and talked about Jill-Berg, saying she talks like a big businessman, acts like a big businessman, so she must be a big businessman.  Pelosi talked about not having time to deal with Berg and her desire to become the first woman PCW champion, so she brought out the PCW Tag Team Champions, The Kings of Old School as their designated hitters to deal with her instead.  Pelosi said that The Kings were in a foul mood not having a real match for Lock and Load 5.

A Kevin Scott promo aired.

Kevin Scott (R)

Scott choked up near the end when he talked about his father and the PCW fans.  Scott is a long time mainstay of the promotion and the fan’s adoration of him and what he stands for no matter what has made him a favorite.  Scott wrestles Average Joe tonight for a shot at the PCW title next week.

Triple R (D) cut a promo and made it clear that he should be feared even more than ever.  He said he is not scared of Kevin Scott or Average Joe or SNAFU.  He ripped on Scott and ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido of the American Heartland Coalition.  Triple R called Escondido ’169 years old and should be dead.’  The rigor mortis is setting in. He’s an old washed up freak.

PCW Extreme Election Night 2010- coming November 2nd
Ohio: Lee Fisher (D) vs. Rob Portman (R)
Florida: Charlie Crist (I) vs. Marco Rubio (R) vs. Kendrick Meek (D)
Pennsylvania: Pat Toomey (R) vs. Joe Sestak (D)
Kentucky: Rand Paul (R) vs. Jack Conway (D)
Connecticut: Richard Blumenthal (D) vs. Linda McMahon (R)
California: Carly Fiorina (R) vs. Barbara Boxer (D)
Nevada: Harry Reid (D) vs. Sharron Angle (R)

MATCH #2

Triple R (D) w/ Code Pink
vs.

SNAFU (I-American Heartland Coalition)w/ Tequila Sheila

Suave said early on if there was a match that Triple R couldn’t afford to take lightly, this was the one.  As soon as SNAFU stepped over the railing, Triple R jumped him and smashed him with the cane repeatedly before scoring an early two count.  Triple R was dominant early on for several minutes.  He broke a table into several pieces across SNAFU’s body.   SNAFU dropkicked a chair into Triple R’s face, then DDT’d him onto the chair.  Code Pink stepped in to stop the count.   Tequila Sheila jumped in and retaliated by ripping her outfit off. They rolled around and eventually out of the ring.

Triple R superkicked SNAFU and scored the pin.

WINNER: Triple R @ 8:32

PCW PROMO FOR LOCK AND LOAD 5
A close-up of PCW Ring Announcer Kimber Marshall.  She said: “In the five-and-a-half years that PCW’s been open, you’ve seen a lot of hardcore things.”  A video feature aired on PCW’s including: Kevin Scott (R) whacking Triple R (D) with a chair, Rahm Emanuel (D) dropping an F-Bomb, Sarah Palin (R) handcuffed and locked in a closet, Yamamoto Tanaka (D) pinning Average Joe (I-American Heartland Coalition),  GreenPete of the Green World Order getting his foot caught in Hunter the Hunter’s (I-Tea Party) bear trap,  Dick Cheney (R) accidently stopping John McCain (R) from reaching Starz N. Stripes (R), Rachel Maddow bashing Ann Coulter with a porcelain toilet tank lid in the women’s room, Keith Olbermann and Bill O’Reilly falling 25 feet through several tables below…

Kimber added, as she unzipped her top, “Next week, August 23rd, Political Championship Wrestling takes political extreme to a whole new level.”

Suave ran down the card:

MAIN EVENT FOR THE PCW TITLE
PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka (D) w/Reika vs. the winner of tonight’s match between Average Joe (I) and ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott

TAG TEAM HANDICAP MATCH
Jill-Berg (R) vs. PCW Tag Team Champions The Kings of Old School: Ricky Michaels and Marty Lane (D)- if Jill-Berg loses, she leaves PCW.  If Jill-Berg wins, she gets a shot at the PCW Title.

PCW TELEVISION TITLE MATCH
Ken Worth- The American Trucker (c) (I-American Heartland Coalition) vs. Triple R (D)

More matches to be announced tomorrow.

MATCH #3
Doug ‘King Kong’ Kingman (R)
vs.
Jordan Metzger (D)

Kingman destroyed Metzger in a short match between two PCW rookies.  Fellow rookies Gary Treehugger and Andy Riley ran in for the Democrats after Kingman pinned Metzger.  Republicans Nick Ray and Josh Jackson made the save.

WINNER: Doug ‘King Kong’ Kingman @ 2:11

HOUR TWO

Suave announced that Sin City Wrestling’s Dorling, who’s currently in the middle of a tour of all the CWC affiliated federations, will make a special appearance next week at PCW Lock and Load 5.  As a special treat, they showed one of Dorling’s matches from SCW’s Double Down show…

MATCH #4
Dorling
vs.
Droskarr
(courtesy of Sin City Wrestling)

…Dorling has a leg on the ropes, and Droskarr can’t believe it. He picks Dorling up and whips him across the ring, he sets himself for Dorling’s return, but Dorling topples out of the ring over the top rope, and is immediately surrounded by showgirls, dancing around him and helping him to his feet, some of them kissing him on the cheek.  Droskarr, incensed by this, slides under the bottom rope to pursue Dorling, and immediately gets the same treatment. He battles his way through the over attentive showgirls, being very careful not to strike any of them, and gets to Dorling, who politely requests that the girls stand back. He looks at one the girls and holds out his hand, and Droskarr follows suit. Both men are supplied with a chair.

Dorling and Droskarr both step forward and swing wildly, the chairs clashing in mid-air, causing both men to drop them, shaking their hands in pain.  Droskarr is first to react, whipping Dorling towards the barricade, but Dorling is quick on his feet, and jumps on the barricade, spinning round and hitting Droskarr with a diving cross body.  Droskarr tries his best to flip the move but can’t manage to. He fights against the pain and defiantly tells the ref that he’s not quitting, before reaching back over his head and grabbing the chair then throwing it at Dorling, all in one movement!  Dorling is writhing on the mat, blood pouring from a gash above his eye where the chair hit his face, and Droskarr rises slowly to his feet, using the ropes for assistance, favouring his left leg slightly.

Droskarr lurches over to the discarded chair and picks it up as Dorling stumbles to his feet. He steps forward and takes a massive swing and…DORbreaker!  Dorling kicks the chair full force into Droskarr’s face!  Droskarr falls to the floor, and Dorling slides over him for the pin…1…2…3!!

Dorling climbs to the top turnbuckle to celebrate, while a bloodied Droskarr tries to gather himself in the ring.

Winner: Dorling @ 12:12

A Tanaka promo aired.  His valet, Reika, opened by saying Kevin Scott is going to bore us to death with those same old sob stories.  She talked about Tanaka not caring who is opponent is next week at Lock and Load 5.  “Kevin Scott had his time as PCW Champion (as Starz N. Stripes).  Average Joe had his chance to defeat Yamamoto Tanaka.”  Reika says next week, no matter who’s in the ring, Tanaka will prove his dominance once and for all.

MATCH #5
The Green World Order: GreenPete and Brock Cole Lee w/PeaceNick and Peta from PETA
vs.

‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido and Charlie Blackwell w/Kenzie Blair  (I-American Heartland Coalition)

When the GWO then came to the ring, PeaceNick began picketing and chanting anti-violent mantra, Peta from PETA screeched something about ‘animals are people, too’, Brock Cole Lee munched on a piece of celery, and GreenPete glared over at Escondido and Blackwell.   GreenPete finally took the house mic and said, “On behalf of Green World Order, we’re putting you on notice:  We’re changing EVERYTHING!”

The match was a little on the wild side.  A fan handed Blackwell a frying pan and he broke it over Brock Cole Lee’s head.  Blackwell also used a cane against him.  PeaceNick yelled about drawing a line and stopping the violence.   Suave said hopefully things would get out of hand.  Escondido slidekicked the ring stairs into GreenPete. Blackwell and Lee then really went at it.  Blackwell DDT’d Lee on a chair.  Peta jumped on his back.  Blackwell’s fiancee Kenzie Blair pulled her off and we had a brief catfight.

Escondido finished off GreenPete with a powerbomb and a superkick for the three count.

WINNER: ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido and Charlie Blackwell @ 10:19

Reality show star Tila Tequila comes to the ring to complain about the way she was treated over the weekend at the ‘Gathering of the Juggalos’ event.  Tequila gets about two words out before the crowd starts throwing chairs into the ring and soon she is buried under.  Johnny Suave approves.

Pulp Fiction Videos
PCW CEO Barack Obama (D) appears to endorse the Park 51 project during a Ramadan dinner to put a Mosque 2 blocks away from Ground Zero in New York City.

Leader of the PCW Executive Committee Harry Reid (D) says the controversial Islamic center should be built elsewhere.

Reid’s spokesman Jim Manley: “The First Amendment protects freedom of religion.  Harry Reid respects that but thinks that the mosque should be built some place else.”

Obama Spokesperson Bill Burton:  “I can’t speak to what the Republicans are doing, but the president was not looking to make political hay with his remarks, which he reportedly considered carefully before delivering them at a White House dinner on Friday night.  Obama didn’t do this because of the politics. He spoke about it because he feels he has an obligation as PCW CEO to address this.”

Republican Spokesperson Brian Walsh: “”While it’s commendable that Senator Reid now agrees with Republican Sharron Angle that we should respect the wishes of 9/11 families, it’s regrettable that he hasn’t demonstrated this same independence from CEO Obama on the critical issues facing PCW during the last 19 months.”

New Jersey’s Chris Christie (R) warns against “overreacting” to the threat of terror and painting “all of Islam” with the brush of terrorism.

Michigan’s Carl Levin (D) starts to talk but then someone throws a pie in his face.

PCW UPCOMING EVENTS
8/23- PCW Lock and Load 5 PPV

8/24- Arizona Showdown in the Desert

9/6- PCW Extreme Political TV

9/20- PCW Extreme Political TV

9/27- PCW Night of Champions

MATCH #6

Average Joe (I-American Heartland Coalition) w/ Tequila Sheila
vs.

‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R)

End Summary
…back in the ring, Scott and Average Joe trade roll-ups and two-counts.  Average Joe goes low and rolls Scott again.  Scott makes it into the ropes at two.   Scott connects with a big kick and skateboards a chair into Joe’s face.  Scott goes for the cover, but Average Joe rolls out and powerbombs Scott head-first onto the chair.  A series of reversals follow before Scott tries to go for a tornado DDT.  Average Joe slips out.

Scott tries a body slam on the chair.  Average Joe hangs on and DDT’s Scott on the chair. Average Joe covers and only gets two.  Springboard kick by Scott.  Frogsplash misses. Joe tries to finish it right away, but that gets two.  The PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka (D) decides to join in the fun and runs in and lariats both Scott and Average Joe.  Tequila Sheila and Tanaka’s valet Reika get into a chase around the ring.  Inside, Tequila Sheila KOs Reika with a DDT.  Tanaka obliterates Average Joe with a sit down powerbomb.  Tanaka wants to do a Van Dominator on Scott but Reika is indisposed.   Tanaka drags Scott up to the top rope for a Japanese SuperDestroyer and then the Young Republicans Josh Jackson, Nick Ray, and Doug “King Kong” Kingman race down.  Tanaka drops Scott onto the mat and bails to the back.

WINNER: No Contest @ 9:51

Suave wonders what PCW will do about next week’s Main Event at Lock and Load 5.

Elton John Sings (for a price), Helen Thomas Wrings Ari Fleischer’s Neck: 6/7-PCW Extreme Political TV

POLITICAL CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING IS PRESENTED BY:

PCW Extreme Political TV (1 Hour)
PCW Hall
Archbold, OH
Monday June 7th
Host: Paige McGillicutty

Paige McGillicutty

Paige McGillicutty – Welcome tonight’s PCW Extreme Political TV report.  I’m Paige McGillicutty and tonight, PCW returned to the PCW Hall for an exciting night of political wrestling action.  Before the matches, PCW Champion Average Joe came out.

Average Joe (I)

[Average Joe has a microphone in the ring.  Ring announcer Kimber Marshall stands behind him.

Average Joe - Ladies and gentlemen, at this time we're going to have a moment of silence and then a ten bell salute to those who lost their lives in the tornado that struck near Millbury, Ohio Saturday night.

Silence.  Then the ten bell salute.

Average Joe - Thanks.

The crowd cheers.]

Paige McGillicutty – After that, we had a special guest perform.

[Elton John leans against his piano and acts as if he's waiting for something.  Finally, Barack Obama's aide de camp Joe Biden walks out and hands Elton a check for one million dollars.

Satisfied, Elton begins to play...

Elton stands, takes his bow, and quickly gets the hell out of Dodge.]

Paige McGillicutty – That leads us to our first match of the night.  The Midnite Rockin’ Express are independents managed by Dr. Bill, the self-help guru who also calls himself PCW’s Manager of Champions.   They took on Tea Partiers Grizzly Adam and Hunter the Hunter tonight.  The Voice of PCW, Johnny Suave, called the action.

MATCH #1
The Midnite Rockin’ Express: Bobby Ricky Michaels and Marty Gibson-Lane w/Dr. Bill (I)
vs.
Grizzly Adam and Hunter the Hunter (I-Tea Party)

[...Hunter the Hunter tries to Overhead Belly to Belly Suplex  Marty Gibson-Lane.  Gibson-Lane blocks and then tags in Bobby Ricky Michaels.  Michaels hits a flying karate chop right to Hunter's neck.  Michaels with another chop.

Johnny Suave - Michaels is chopping down Hunter the Hunter.  Michaels with a side headlock.   DDT!   Michaels covers...Hunter the Hunter kicks out at two.

Hunter tags in Grizzly Adam.

Johnny Suave - Grizzly Adam in.  They lockup.  Hunter the Hunter pulls Michaels off and sends him to the corner of the ring.   Grizzly Adam has a chair.  HOLY CRAP!  HE JUST WALLOPED MICHAELS WITH THE CHAIR.

Grizzly Adam throws down the chair.  Hunter the Hunter puts Michaels in a headlock.

Johnny Suave - Hunter the Hunter has Michaels...reverse DDT!  Grizzly Adam makes the cover.  One...two...NO!  Michaels kicks out at two.]

Paige McGillicutty – The Midnite Rockin’ Express found it tough going early on.  So they decided to switch things up and take it to the floor.

[The crowd stands and cheers.

Crowd - PCW!  PCW!  PCW!

Johnny Suave - UNBELIEVABLE!   JUST WHEN IT LOOKED LIKE HUNTER THE HUNTER WAS GOING TO SLAP ON THE BEAR TRAP ON MICHAELS, GIBSON-LANE COMES IN, AVOIDS THE BEAR TRAP, AND SENDS HUNTER OVER THE TOP ROPE.  THEN MICHAELS TOOK TO THE AIR AND HIT A 450 SPLASH!

Grizzly Adam races around the ring and clotheslines Michaels.

Johnny Suave - MICHAELS JUST GOT DECAPITATED BY GRIZZLY ADAM!  HOLY CRAP!

Gibson-Lane shoulder blocks Grizzly Adam to the floor.  Michaels is up.  He jumps and elbow smashes the lying Hunter.  Gibson-Lane throws Hunter back into the ring.  Michaels puts Hunter on the turnbuckle.

Johnny Suave - MICHAELS HAS HUNTER UP TOP.  WHAT IS HE GOING TO DO?

Michaels takes a side headlock and then jumps off the turnbuckle.

Johnny Suave - Top-rope DDT!  Michaels hooks the legs.  1 ...2 Hunter kicks out!  But that was close.]

Paige McGillicutty – The momentum now firmly in the Midnite Rockin’ Express’s favor.  It was only a matter of time now.

[...Michaels superkicks Grizzly Adam in the head.

Johnny Suave - Grizzly Adam blocked Michaels's first kick.  But Michaels connected good on the second try.   Grizzly Adam makes it back to his corner and tags in Hunter the Hunter. Hunter the Hunter runs in.  Lariat on Bobby Ricky Michaels.  Hunter goes for a second lariat.  Michaels ducks under.  He comes off the ropes and slides between Hunter's legs.

Micheals low blows Hunter the Hunter.

Johnny Suave - Hello!  Michaels with an armdrag take down.  He climbs to the top ...here we go!

Michaels hits Hunter with the 5 Star Frog Splash.

Johnny Suave - HOLY CRAP!  FIVE STAR SPLASH.  MICHAELS MAKES THE COVER!

Referee Ron Martin makes the count. ...1 ...2 ...3 ]

WINNER: Midnite Rockin’ Express @ 14:16

Paige McGillicutty – The Midnite Rockin’ Express are victorious in their first match back over Grizzly Adam and Hunter the Hunter.

———————–

• 

• Bobbinette “Queen B” Carey v Mario Maurako
• The referee for this match is Joel Hortega, and the rules are Ladder Match.

• God of HOW v Black Mamba
• The referee for this match is Matt Boettcher, and the rules are No DQ Match.

• Max Kael v Jatt Starr© v Christopher America© v “Phenomenal” Ryan Faze© v Mark “The Explosive” O’Neal v MPlow© v Aceldama v Shane Reynolds v Crow v Graystone v “The Doberman” Marcus Reinhardt v David Black
• The referee for this match is Matt Boettcher, and the rules are War Games.
• World Title

• Kelly Flawless v Static
• The referee for this match is Joel Hortega, and the rules are Dark Match.

• John Eric Peter Watson v Lazarus
• The referee for this match is Joel Hortega, and the rules are Standard Match.

High Octane Wrestling

———————

Upcoming PCW Events:
Monday June 7th @ Archbold, OH – PCW Hall
Monday June 14th @ Toledo, OH – Huntington Center
Saturday June 19th @ Cleveland, OH – Quicken Loans Arena
Monday June 21st @ Wauseon, OH – Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon
-PCW Loose Cannons Unleashed 6

Paige McGillicutty – HOW’s War Games is on as we speak.  Check out the action after you’re done watching tonight’s PCW review.  Republicans A-Bomb and H-Bomb have reunited as a tag team and tonight they faced the Democrats new tag team- Diversity in Action.  Diversity in Action features Matt Ficus- who’s definitely gay, and Rick Walker- who’s definitely not gay.  Let’s go to the action.

MATCH #2
A. Tom Bomb and Hy Drogen Bomb (R)
vs.
Diversity in Action: Matt Ficus and Rick Walker (D)

[...Former PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka (D) runs out and throws H-Bomb into the steel barricade.

Johnny Suave - IT'S TANAKA!  IT'S TANAKA!

Tanaka lifts H-Bomb and drops him throat first onto the top of the barricade.

Johnny Suave - TANAKA IS GOING TO DESTROY H-BOMB.  HERE COMES A-BOMB!

A-Bomb runs across the ring for a suicide dive.  Walker, on the ring apron, makes the interception and the 340 pound strongman turns it into a super power slam onto the floor.

Johnny Suave - HOLY CRAP!

Ficus and Walker drag A-Bomb back into the ring.  Ficus sets up a table.  Walker drags A-Bomb up to the top rope.

Johnny Suave - NOW WHAT ARE THEY GOING TO DO?

Walker superplexes A-Bomb from the top rope through the table!

Johnny Suave - HOLY CRAP!

Rick Walker covers A-Bomb. Referee Ron Martin makes the count. ...1 ...2 ...3 ]

WINNER: Diversity in Action @ 3:55

Paige McGillicutty – So Diversity in Action not only gets their first PCW win tonight but they also will meet the Midnite Rockin’ Express next week for a shot at the PCW Tag Team belts at PCW Loose Cannons Unleashed 6 in two weeks.  After the match, the action was not over.  The tag teams returned to their locker rooms but Tanaka stayed in the ring.

[Tanaka paces back and forth in the ring.

Johnny Suave - What is he doing?  Reika's not here tonight so he can't really make any remarks.

The crowd begins to cheer.

Johnny Suave - Hold on!  IT'S 'AMERICAN CITIZEN' KEVIN SCOTT!

Scott slides into the ring and it's on.  Tanaka punches Scott but the 'American Citizen' goes low on Tanaka.  Scott whips himself off the ropes and hits Tanaka with a springboard bulldog.

Johnny Suave - Tanaka's head just bounced off the mat!

Scott reaches behind Tanaka's head and executes a sitout.

Johnny Suave - Jawbreaker on Yamamoto Tanaka and that'll loosen a few molars.

American Citizen executes a corkscrew legdrop.]

Paige McGillicutty – Then the calvary came in.

[Democrats Ranck and Fyle race in and attack Scott.

Johnny Suave - Triple team on Scott.  Wait...QUADRUPLE TEAM ON SCOTT!

Rahm Emanuel comes down and slides into the ring.  He takes Scott by the head and F-Bomb's him.

Johnny Suave - F-BOMB!  EMANUEL DROPPED AN F-BOMB ON KEVIN SCOTT.

Tanaka drags Scott up and takes him to the top rope.  He sets him up for the Japanese Super Destroyer.

Johnny Suave - TANAKA'S GOT SCOTT IN A BAD PLACE- HERE COMES ESCONDIDO AND SUFFERABLE!

'No Frills' Chris Escondido and 'Not Just Unbearable...Not Just Intolerable...He is' Justin Sufferable hit the ring and knock Tanaka off the top rope.]

Paige McGillicutty – After that, it was the President of the PCW Competition Committee Nancy Pelosi who finally settled matters once and for all.

Nancy Pelosi

[Nancy Pelosi walks out.

Nancy Pelosi - Wait a minute.  WAAAAAIT A MINUTE!  That's it!  You three want Tanaka?  You've got him.  Next week, a four way match to become the number one contender for the PCW Title.  Yamamoto Tanaka (D) vs. Kevin Scott (R) vs. 'No Frills' Chris Escondido (I) vs. Justin Sufferable (I).  Three has-been former PCW Champions versus the uncrowned champion Yamamoto Tanaka.]

———————

WfWA SUMMER GAMES XI Commercial:
Summer Games XI will be broadcast live from the Cowboys Stadium in Dallas, Texas, on June 13th, 2010!

Summer Games will consist of 8 teams of three wrestlers each. Each match will be survivor series style. All surviving members of the winning teams will move on to a battle royal. The winner of the battle royal will win Summer Games.

Additionally, current WWA World Champion Ronnie Long will be putting his title on the line in the actual event. So, rather than the winner of Summer Games getting a title shot, the winner also gets the title.

The eight teams will be as follows, in alphabetical order.

Team Appalachian Wrestling: Zortalk, John Kellerman, Chris Cannon

Team Coalition of Affiliated Leagues: Christian Light/Heidi Christenson/Joe Drago

Team Conarri: Ronnie Long/Adrien Cochrane/Kazumi Fujita

Team Defiance: Cancer Jiles/Aaron Vasquez/Bronson Box

Team Hydra: Cobra/Stephen Greer/?????

Team Mandrake: Victor Mandrake/Wendy Briese/Terrence Thompson

Team MVWA: Miss USA/Angel Scott/Angel Casey

Team WMW: ???/???/???

Match 1:
Team Hydra vs Team WMW

Match 2:
Team CAL vs Team MVWA

Match 3:
Team Mandrake vs Team AW

Match 4:
Team Conarri vs Team Defiance

Appalachian Wrestling

Defiance Wrestling

Pro Wrestling X

Missouri Valley Wrestling

———————–

Paige McGillicutty – Last month, Charlie Blackwell (I) competed against three other wrestlers for a shot at the Championship Wrestling Council’s Hardcore Title.  Blackwell acquitted himself very well.

Replay: CWC Episode 9

Blackwell lunges his body in order to break up the pinfall attempt by Starr.  Starr and Silkk lay there as Starr starts shaking his head slowly in frustration.  Blackwell slowly gets to his feet still dealing with that big chair shot to his back.  This allows time to for Starr to get to his feet at the same time.  They both then have a test of strength before Blackwell takes the advantage.  Blackwell strikes a left at Starr while Starr returns a right at Blackwell.

Sexy Jack: It’s brawl now!

Silkk comes in and he swings at Starr! Crimson Lightning comes in and swings at Silkk! Blackwell swings at Lightning! Now he continues with a fury of punches. Starr and James Silkk brawl as well. Starr is against the ropes and Silkk misses the over the rope clothesline! Meanwhile Charlie Blackwell catches Crimson Lightning into the Katahajime! He drops down.

Big Stonehenge: Lightning is gonna tap!

Starr comes off the top rope onto both of them with a 450 Splash!

Sexy Jack: The Rising Starr! He covers Lightning!

1..

2…

3!!!

Ding Ding!

Nathan Wisdom: The winner of this match, Starr!!

Big Stonehenge: Starr Zoe has done it! He will face either Noah Hanson or Allister Black at Golden Dreams! Huge win for this CWC new comer tonight!!

Paige McGillicutty – Coming up on June 19th at CWC Golden Dreams show, the PCW Tag Team division will be on display as the Tag Team Champions Jack and Joe Schmidt (I) from Ron Paul’s New Libertarian Army defend their title against the Goatbusters.

Championship Wrestling Council

The CWC is an inter-fed currently consisting of 12 federations

——————-

Paige McGillicutty – Hearst Publishing’s Helen Thomas came out to the surprise of ring announcer Kimber Marshall…

Kimber Marshall

[Thomas toddles into the ring.

Kimber Marshall - Helen, what a surprise.

Helen Thomas - Don't you what a surprise me!  I came out here because I wanted to call out that little s*** Ari Fleischer.

Kimber Marshall - Ari Fleischer?

Helen Thomas - Yeah.  He's the blabbermouth who sent emails to everyone under the sun about my little faux paus the other day.  ARI, GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE AND TAKE THE WHIPPIN' THAT YOU DESERVE!]

Paige McGillicutty – Well, Ari Fleischer did come out and…well…just watch.

[Fleischer and Thomas are face to stomach.

Ari Fleischer - I'm not the one who when asked "Any comments on Israel?" who said, and I quote, that Israeli Jews should "get the hell out of Palestine" and "go home" to Germany, Poland and America.  You did-

Thomas knees him in the groin and then whips her purse around and nails Fleischer in the jaw.]

Paige McGillicutty – And it went downhill from there….

[Thomas is on top of Fleischer and bitch-slapping him.

HUMP

THUMP

THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

THUMP

THUMP

THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

The video screen goes to just outside a dressing room in the back. A police escort is waiting at the door. One of the policemen knocks on the door.

Policeman: “Ms. Berg. It’s time.”

Jill-Berg

The door opens and four large male bodybuilding types walk out of the dressing room surrounding a petite woman, Reika, her bodyguard, and her male assistant, Jerry, in the middle. The woman is busy talking on her cell phone while the man furiously scribbles down notes as the group makes their way towards the ring.

THUMP

THUMP

THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

The procession emerges from the back and starts their way down the ramp. The male assistant has a microphone and a portable tape recorder. He flips it on.

“JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”

The group then continues towards the ring leaving the police escort behind.

“JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”

The four bodyguards assist Ms. Berg into the ring. She and her assistant immediately go to a corner.

“JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”

Berg continues to talk on her cell phone.

“JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”

Suddenly the four bodyguards attack Thomas.  One spears her.  The second one jackhammer slams Thomas to the mat.  The other two hold her up for Jill Berg who hits a spinning heel kick and knocks her out.  Berg covers.  A referee slides into the ring and delivers the three count.]

WINNER: Jill Berg @ :54

Paige McGillicutty – Afterwards, Berg declared herself 11-0 and left PCW Hall to a chorus of ‘JILLLLL-BERG’ chants.

—————-

Upcoming PCW Events:
Monday June 7th @ Archbold, OH – PCW Hall
Monday June 14th @ Toledo, OH – Huntington Center
Saturday June 19th @ Cleveland, OH – Quicken Loans Arena
Monday June 21st @ Wauseon, OH – Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon
-PCW Loose Cannons Unleashed 6

———————

Paige McGillicutty – And then it was time for the main event.  Democrat Triple R (Road Rage Randy) vs. Charlie Blackwell (I-American Heartland Coalition) with the winner getting a shot at the PCW Television Title at Loose Cannons Unleashed 6.

MATCH #4

Triple R aka…Road Rage Randy (D)
vs.

Charlie Blackwell (I)

[Charlie Blackwell with a snap mare takeover on Triple R.  Enraged, Road Rage Randy goes low on Blackwell and then hits a hiptoss.  Blackwell tries to lariat Triple R.  He blocks it and whips Charlie into the ropes.  A second low blow sends Blackwell to the mat and sets off Kenzie Blair.  She feverishly reads through her book, 'Wrestling Manager for Dummies' while Triple R stomps Blackwell's head.  Charlie Blackwell grabs Triple R and applies an arm wrench.  Triple R reverses and rams Charlie face first into the turnbuckle.

Johnny Suave - Charlie Blackwell is getting schooled by the angry road warrior, Triple R.  AGAIN, he rams Blackwell's face into the turnbuckle.

Kenzie Blair is on the ring apron yelling at Triple R.]

Paige McGillicutty – Kenzie Blair wouldn’t be stupid enough to pick a fight with Triple R…would she?

[Backwell applies an arm wrench to Triple R.

Johnny Suave - Blackwell torques the arm of Triple R.  Huh...what's Kenzie Blair doing in the ring?

Blair winds up and whaps Triple R in the face with her book, 'Wrestling Manager for Dummies.'  Triple R back kicks  Blackwell and breaks the arm wrench.  He grabs Kenzie by the throat.

Johnny Suave - Not good!  Not good!  Kenzie Blair really shouldn't be in there.  ROLL-UP BY BLACKWELL!

Referee Ron Martin makes the count. ...1 Triple R kicks out. ]

Paige McGillicutty – Kenzie Blair nearly helped Blackwell pull out the win.  But then Triple R came roaring back.

[Road Rage Randy puts Charlie Blackwell on the turnbuckle.

Johnny Suave - THAT CAN'T BE GOOD...YES!  SUPERPLEX FROM THE TOP ROPE!  COVER...ONE...TWO...KENZIE BLAIR MADE THE SAVE!

Triple R grabs Kenzie and DDT's her to the mat.

Johnny Suave - HOLY CRAP!  TRIPLE R JUST PLANTED BLAIR AND SHE'S NOT MOVING.

Triple R slides from the ring and reaches underneath for something.  He pulls out a lead pipe and jumps back into the ring.

Johnny Suave - TRIPLE R WITH THE LEAD PIPE!  HOLY CRAP!

Triple R whaps Blackwell repeatedly.  Referee Ron Martin tries to pull the pipe away but Triple R pushes him down and continues the assault.]

Paige McGillicutty – Mercifully for Charlie Blackwell, this one ended soon after.

[Triple R suplexes Blackwell from the top rope!

Johnny Suave- YES! He pulls off the superplex! There's the cover.   Ron Martin counts the pin. ...1 ...2 ...3 ]

WINNER: Triple R @ 10:39

Paige McGillicutty – Tough loss for Charlie Blackwell.  Triple R will meet the PCW Television Champion Ken Worth- The American Trucker (I) for the TV belt in two weeks at PCW Loose Cannons 6.  Next week, the Midnite Rockin’ Express take on Diversity in Action for a shot at the PCW Tag Team Title.  I’m Paige McGillicutty.  See you next week.

——————

Other WP Political Blog Posts:

• Hayley Spills June 8, 2010 nonnie9999
• BP,the new Reich and what we should do… June 7, 2010 Alfie
• The Political Power of Networking Sites Part 2 (HELEN THOMAS RESIGNS!) June 7, 2010 steveflesher
• Helen Thomas “Should Go Home” June 7, 2010 Kempite
• “Get the hell out…” of that chair, Helen, Hearst says June 7, 2010 PanAm
• The UN Small Arms Treaty June 7, 2010 Patrick Sperry
• The obligatory Helen Thomas post… June 7, 2010 Alfie

Other Political Blogs:

• Obama: I met with experts on Gulf ‘so I’d know whose ass to kick’ June 7, 2010 cnnjs
• Men charged with threatening Stupak June 7, 2010 cnnjs
• Obama to grads: ‘Don’t make excuses’ June 7, 2010 cnnjs
• Sotomayor gets some friendly pronunciation help June 7, 2010 cnnjs
• TRENDING: Blagojevich takes to Twitter June 7, 2010 fhardingj
• California Dems spar over Facebook privacy settings June 7, 2010 fhardingj
• Poll: Oil spill a major disaster June 7, 2010 cnnjs
• GIBBS: Comments were ‘offensive and reprehensible’ June 8, 2010
• Can NY accept a Gov. who was convicted before taking office? [Watch] June 8, 2010
• Israel expects decision soon on raid probe June 8, 2010
• Bolivia’s president re-elected head of coca union June 8, 2010
• Wis. to launch statewide smoking ban ad blitz June 8, 2010
• U.S. military turns to TV for surveillance technology June 8, 2010
• Australian Parliament House trashes Obama mugs June 8, 2010
• Small offshore quakes shake LA-area coast June 8, 2010
• Bernanke see recovery gaining traction June 8, 2010
• Considering Breast Cancer Exams For Under 50s (VIDEO) June 8, 2010 The Huffington Post News Editors
• Julie Kramer: Facebook Ghosts June 8, 2010 Julie Kramer
• Twin Babies Attacked By Fox (VIDEO) June 8, 2010 The Huffington Post News Editors
• Lauren Selman: Surf’s Up and Get Creative! June 8, 2010 Lauren Selman
• States Warn Of Deep Budget Cuts If More Federal Medicaid Funding Isn’t Delivered June 8, 2010 The Huffington Post News Editors
• Alice Walker: Supporting Boycotts, Divestment and Sanctions Against Israel June 8, 2010 Alice Walker
• Richard Baskin: Remembering Steve Reuther’s Remarkably Full Life June 8, 2010 Richard Baskin
• Miles Grant: Confused Fish & A Dead Pelican: Oil Disaster Hitting Florida June 8, 2010 Miles Grant
• Obama Administration Pushing To Reopen New Offshore Drilling Exploration In Shallow Waters June 8, 2010 The Huffington Post News Editors
• Ritter Vetoes Bill That Would Have Provided State Employees Bonuses June 8, 2010 The Huffington Post News Editors
• Michelle Kraus: Secret Weapons: James Bond, the Whales and the White House June 8, 2010 Michelle Kraus
• Chris Weigant: California Primary Preview June 8, 2010 Chris Weigant
• From Playboy to The Daily Show June 8, 2010 Denise Martin
• 19 Reasons to Watch TV This Summer June 8, 2010 Jace Lacob
• The 6 Races to Watch Today June 8, 2010 Samuel P. Jacobs
• How Emily Blunt Beat Her Stutter June 7, 2010 Rebecca Dana
• Why Israel Is Isolated June 7, 2010 Peter Beinart
• 40 Desserts That Can Kill You June 7, 2010 The Daily Beast
• Will the Anti-Incumbent Revolt Claim Another Senator? June 7, 2010 Benjamin Sarlin
• Advice From The President June 7, 2010
• Helen Thomas retires after Israel remarks June 7, 2010
• Entering The Swamp June 7, 2010
• Tea partier’s win could benefit Reid June 7, 2010
• Deficit worries spook Democrats June 7, 2010
• National Politics and State Realities at Odds June 7, 2010 Kate Pickert
• BP: The End of Cap & Trade? June 7, 2010 Jay Newton-Small
• 1,000 Words: Voldemort on Line One Edition June 7, 2010 Adam Sorensen
• Thomas Retires June 7, 2010 Joe Klein
• Public Perception of Oil Spill vs. Katrina June 7, 2010 Kate Pickert
• Bad Taste is Timeless June 7, 2010 Joe Klein
• Overnight Open Thread June 7, 2010
• Primary Crib-Sheet For Tomorrow June 7, 2010
• Will Folks, With One Hour Left To Release His Proof Before the 11 O’Clock News On Primary Eve: ” … “ June 7, 2010
• Poll: Rossi Edges Patty “Dum-Dum” Murray Among Registered Voters June 7, 2010
• Labour MP: What Would I Do If I Had a Time-Machine And Went Back To The Eighties? Oh, I Know: I’d Have Assassinated Margaret Thatcher June 7, 2010
• Topless Kill: White House Staffers Focused Like a Laser on PetroKatrina and Shirtless Beer-Pong, But Mostly Shirtless Beer-Pong June 7, 2010
• Here Is A Good Lesson For You All… June 8, 2010 palindenver
• Helen Thomas June 8, 2010 rhymebaron
• Israeli Blockade June 6, 2010 rhymebaron
• NewsBusted Video – 4th June June 5, 2010 papundits
• A very cruddy fable, Part 18: An unhealthy state of affairs June 5, 2010 David M. Russell