Obama Discusses PPV/Grayson and Franks- WTF?

PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV- PART ONE

THIS WEEK ON PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV:
We find out how Dr. Bill/Green World Order/The God Squad’s field trip to
Chicago went.

SNAFU w/Dawn McGill (Independent) vs. American Trucker w/Tequila Sheila (American Heartland Coalition) for a shot at the PCW TV Title.

Main Event for a shot at the PCW Tag Team Belts at Lock and Load:
Extreme Weather Network- Steve Abrams and Mike Bettis vs.
Midnite Rockin’ Xpress- Bobby Ricky Michaels and Marty Gibson-Lane

OUTSIDE THE BEST ARENA, CHICAGO ILL
Dr. Bill, ‘King of Old School Gimmicks’ Baron Von Munchke, Bobby Ricky Michaels and Marty Gibson-Lane aka Midnite Rockin’ Xpress of the Old School Kings, ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee, GreenPete, PeaceNick, and Peta from PETA of the Green World Order, and The Right Reverend Randy Richardson, Reverend Warren, Reverend Robertson, and Reverend Falwell, Jr. of the God Squad, stand outside The Best Arena in Chicago, IL.  They went there to picket High Octane Television’s regular Thursday night show, Turmoil.  What they found was…nothing.  No light on inside the arena.  No cars parked outside in the lots.  No people waiting in line to get in.  Nothing.

Dr. Bill: “What the?”  Michaels: “There’s no one here.”  Voice: “DUH!”  A man dressed in one of HOW’s EPU uniforms walks by.  Man in EPU Uniform: “Read the sign, ***hole.”  The sign in front read ‘Rumble at the Rock- Oct. 5…San Francisco, CA.  Next Turmoil- Oct. 8th.   Gibson-Lane: “That’s two weeks.”  Michaels: “I don’t want to stay here for two weeks waiting for them to come back.”  Peta: “MEAT IS MURDER!”  EPU Uniform: “Regardless, you’re trespassing on private property.  Get the **** out of here.”  Dr. Bill: “Life is a marathon, it’s not a sprint.”  Man in Michaels: “Well, regardless, I’m not waiting here two weeks for them to come back.”  Peta: “GRAYSTONE IS A MURDERER!  ANIMALS ARE PEOPLE, TOO!”  Man in EPU Uniform: “Listen you dillwads.  You’d better get the **** out of here before Lee calls the police on you.”  Peta from PETA: “CIVIL DISOBEDIENCE!  KILL THE ANIMAL MURDERER!”  Dr. Bill: “There’s no reason to get upset people.  Anger is nothing more than an outward expression of hurt, fear and frustration-”  The EPU guy grabs Dr. Bill by the lapels.  Man in EPU Uniform: “I’m not going to tell you again.  You and your dorky friends have five seconds to move or else-”

Quad R snaps and charges the EPU guy.  He tackles him.  Quad starts wailing away with lefts and rights.  He’s joined by Michaels and Gibson-Lane.  PeaceNick starts chanting peaceful mantras.  Peta from PETA pulls a green spray paint can from her purse and paints ‘GWO’ and ‘animals are people, too’ on the side of Best Arena.  Brock Cole Lee gets a bat out from their car and starts assaulting the man’s car.  Peta also spray paints ‘GWO’ on the car.  Quad R and Michaels drag the man back to his vehicle and doubleteam suplex him onto the hood of his car.  They turn him over and Peta spray paints ‘GWO’ on his back.  Lee: “That’ll show ‘em.”  Dr. Bill: “The most you get is what you ask for.”  Michaels: “Yeah, whatever.  Let’s get out of here before the cops come.”

9/30-PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV (60 minutes)
From
Newport Music Hall
Columbus, OH
September 30, 2009

Crowd: “PCW!…PCW!…PCW!…”  Suave: “HELLO AND WELCOME TO P-C-W!  I AM JOHNNY SUAVE AND WE ARE LIVE IN COLUMBUS, OHIO AT THE NEWPORT MUSIC HALL!  TONIGHT, PCW CEO BARACK OBAMA WILL ADDRESS THE JOINT PCW-MVW LOCK AND LOAD PAY PER VIEW SHOW COMING UP IN TWO AND A HALF WEEKS.  WE’VE GOT THE NUMBER ONE CONTENDER MATCH FOR THE PCW TELEVISION TITLE AND IN OUR MAIN EVENT- THE EXTREME WEATHER NETWORK TAKE ON THE MIDNITE ROCKIN’ EXPRESS FOR A SHOT AT THE PCW TAG TEAM TITLE AT LOCK AND LOAD.  LET’S GO RIGHT TO THE RING.”

Ring announcer Charlene Ann Beckworth prepares to announce the first match.  Charlene Ann: ‘LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!  OUR FIRST MATCH IS ONE FALL WITH A TWENTY MINUTE TIME LIMIT.  TO MY RIGHT, PCW’S NEW ROOKIE SENSATION.  HE IS- BIRD ‘THE MARK’ RIDFYCH!”  The crowd stands and gives Bird a standing ovation.  Charlene Ann: “AND HIS OPPONENT TONIGHT…”  Charlene Ann’s enthusiasm drains away and she makes a sour face.  Charlene Ann: “Bob Nye- the Foot Fetish Guy.”  Nye also gets a standing ovation.  Charlene Ann quickly exits the ring to the relative safety of her ring announcer’s table.  Suave: “SO, IT’S GOING TO BE RIDFYCH VERSUS THE SLIGHTLY OFF-KILTER BOB NYE- THE FOOT FETISH GUY.”

MATCH #1
Bird ‘The Mark’ Ridfych (Independent) vs. Bob Nye-The Foot Fetish Guy w/Movie Classic (
Island of Misfit Wrestlers)

…Ridfych backs Nye into the corner.  Nye shoves him back.  Suave: “HOLY CRAP!  NYE’S TRYING AN OFFENSIVE MOVE!”  Nye attempts s a press flapjack but Ridfych counters with a back suplex.  He covers.  Nye kicks out at two.  Suave: “HOLY CRAP!  NYE’S FOCUSED!  HE ACTUALLY KICKED OUT THAT TIME INSTEAD OF LOOKING OVER AT CHARLENE ANN’S FEET AND GETTING PINNED!”  Nye goes to the apron.  He snaps Ridfych’s throat over the top rope.  Then he leaps through the ropes and hits a spear through the ropes.  Nye tries to whip Ridfych into the corner .  Ridfych fights it.  Nye goes after the midsection with punches instead.  Suave: “HOLY CRAP!  NYE’S SETTING RIDFYCH UP…GUTBUSTER!  GUTBUSTER!”  Nye locks in the abdominal stretch.  Suave: “ABDOMINAL STRETCH!  WE COULD SEE A HUGE UPSET…here…”  Nye sees a lady in the front row wearing a pair of flip flops that are half on, half off.  He releases the hold and stares at the women’s feet.  Suave: “And it was too good to be true.”  Ridfych hits the Doctor Bomb and hooks the legs.  One…two…three.

WINNER: BIRD ‘THE MARK’ RIDFYCH at 5:22

Suave: “Well?  It looked good for a little while for Bob Nye.  But, you know what they say- when nature calls…”  Woman: “GET AWAY FROM ME!”  She tries to fend Nye off with her purse while he stares longingly at her flip-flopped feet. *WHACK*  Woman: “GET BACK!”  *WHACK*  Woman: “GET BACK I SAY!”

———————–

valley.jpg

MISSOURI VALLEY WRESTLING ASSOCIATION

Taking Women’s E-Wrestling to a Whole Different Level

————————————————————

Turmoil 9/3/2009

Every Thursday Night from our friends at High Octane Wrestling

—————————————————————

———————————————-

*flute and clarinet flourish*

Two men come out and unroll a white carpet to the ring steps. Dancers then dance. Ballet dancers…ballet? Little children walk up the white carpet and drop rose petals. Someone lets loose some pigeons…we’re still not sure just how they’ll get out of the building. The crowd stands and lets out a loud ovation as PCW CEO Barack Obama appears.  Suave: “The PCW CEO is out to address the Lock and Load Pay Per View tonight.”  Two aides wheel out a portable wooden closet that’s been repaired containing his Aide de Camp Joe Biden inside.  Obama climbs into the ring.

Obama: “Good evening.  As you know, there’s been a lot of talk about the joint PCW-MVW Lock and Load Pay Per View show on October 18th.  Mainly, why did we decide to join up with Missouri Valley Wrestling.  Easy, it’s an economic decision, no difference than the tough choices that millions of Americans and scores of businesses have to make every day.  Because Missouri Valley will pick up half the expenses, this agreement will be a win-win for both sides.  PCW and MVW will still be able to present their very best matches but do so in an economically responsible way.  I will now take your questions.”  Question #1: “Trent Franks here, Mr. CEO.  Everyone knows that you’re an enemy of all humanity, don’t you feel a little-”

*The start of Def Leppard’s ‘Rock, Rock Til You Drop plays*

Suave: “OH, OH!  GUESS WHO?”

Hold onto your hat, hold onto your heart
Ready, get set to tear this place apart
Don’t need a ticket, only place in town
That’ll take you up to heaven and never bring you down
Anything goes! Anything goes!

Suave: “IT’S THE EXTREME ENFORCER!  WHISKEY…TANGO…FOXTROT!”

Women to the left, Women to the right
There to entertain and take you thru the night
So grab a little heat and come along with me
‘Cause your mama don’t mind what your mama don’t see
Anything goes! Anything goes!

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, all 6 foot 11, 350 pounds of him, appears.  He locks in on Trent Franks and runs down.

Rock! Rock! till you drop
Rock! Rock! never stop
Rock! Rock! till you drop
I say Rock! Rock! to the top

WTF picks Franks up by the throat.  Chokeslam!

Ridin’ into danger, laughin’ all the way
Fast, free and easy, livin’ for today
Gotta lip service, get it while you can
Hot, sweat ‘n’ nervous love on demand
Anything goes! Anything goes!

Franks lies in a crumpled heap on the floor.  WTF lets out a primal scream.

Rock! Rock! till you drop
Rock! Rock! never stop
Rock! Rock! till you drop
I say Rock! Rock! to the top

Obama: “Okay…anyone else?”  Man’s voice: “Over here, Mr. CEO.  Alan Grayson here and everyone knows that the American Patriots want everyone to die quickly…and by quickly I mean…real quickly…I just want to apologize to the dead and their families that we haven’t ended this holocaust-”

Hold onto your hat, hold onto your heart
Ready, get set to tear this place apart
Don’t need a ticket, only place in town
That’ll take you up to heaven and never bring you down
Anything goes! Anything goes!

Suave: “IT’S THE EXTREME ENFORCER!  WHISKEY…TANGO…FOXTROT…AGAIN!”

Women to the left, Women to the right
There to entertain and take you thru the night
So grab a little heat and come along with me
‘Cause your mama don’t mind what your mama don’t see
Anything goes! Anything goes!

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, all 6 foot 11, 350 pounds of him, appears…again.  He locks in on Alan Grayson and runs down…again.

Rock! Rock! till you drop
Rock! Rock! never stop
Rock! Rock! till you drop
I say Rock! Rock! to the top

WTF picks Grayson up by the throat.  Chokeslam!

Ridin’ into danger, laughin’ all the way
Fast, free and easy, livin’ for today
Gotta lip service, get it while you can
Hot, sweat ‘n’ nervous love on demand
Anything goes! Anything goes!

Grayson lies in a crumpled heap on the floor.  WTF lets out a primal scream…again.

Rock! Rock! till you drop
Rock! Rock! never stop
Rock! Rock! till you drop
I say Rock! Rock! to the top

Obama: “Okay.  Any more questions?  Good.”

PCW Extreme Political TV- Part Two, Part Three
Other political stories:

POLITICAL HOT TOPICS: October 01, 2009
Grayson calls Republicans ‘knuckle-dragging Neanderthals’
McCain helps former rival Romney raise big money
Gingrich group withdraws invite to adult entertainment exec

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