It's five years after the 2012 election and, well, things aren't going so well. A major economic meltdown exacerbates the already bitter divisions within the United States and the country has split into several smaller nations based on red and blue state populations- or Jesusland and Progressiveville.
Now, in 2017, former Presidents Clinton and Bush (43) convene the American Reconciliation Summit and attempt to reunite the fifty states into one country once again. But when a multi-national mega-corporation attempts to disrupt the reconciliation talks, Stacey Martin, Kate Wilson, and the Washington Freedom Force find themselves on the front line protecting Washington D.C. and the summit. With the future of a possible reconstituted United States in the balance, can Stacey and Kate stop the forces against reconciliation from undermining the summit? Or will the corporation make sure the talks suffer a cataclysmic, catastrophic failure of nuclear proportions.
Written by the irrepressible, onerous, and uber-mysterious Mr. A. Nominous, the book harpoons the American political dysfunction that's pulling our country apart and also pokes fun at various cultural icons ranging from Harry Potter to Les Miserables, Stars Wars to Armageddon to even the Twilight films.
Now available on Amazon.com, Amazon Kindle, Barnes and Noble, and other online book sellers.
Posted on November 11, 2012 by Political Championship Wrestling
PCW Extreme Election Night 2012 – Part 7
‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave and his lifesize cardboard cut-out of Shania Twain
Suave again reviews the results up to date:
Match 1- Jeff Flake (R-AZ) def. Rich Carmona (D-AZ) with an assist from ‘Straight Shootin’ John McCain and Jon Kyl.
Match 2- Chris Murphy (D-CT) def. Linda McMahon (R-CT) after the referee ejected McMahon’s husband, WWE Magnate Vince McMahon and her family from ringside.
Match 3- Jill Berg (R) retained the PCW Women’s title over C.J. Lewis (D) when Code Pink and Emily S List’s interference backfired thanks to a hand from Melissa Joan Hart.
Match 7- Tim Kaine (D-VA) def. George Allen (R-VA)
Match 8- Elizabeth Warren (R-MA) def. Scott Brown (R-MA)
Match 9- Big Union: “The Self Described Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor (D) def. Scott Walker’s Rangers: John and Ronnie Walker (R) to win the PCW Tag Team Title.
BACKSTAGE- OUTSIDE PCW OWNER BUBBA JACKSON’S OFFICE No movement yet. Security continues to stand guard outside the door.
HALLWAY Karl Rove (R) keeps trying to keep everyone calm.
*
Back to the ring.
Suave- And now, it all comes down to this. The PCW Title match. Let’s go to the ring.
Finally, the big one- the PCW Title match. After several years of trying, after switching parties multiple times and trying new personas, Triple R finally won the title from The Sanderman (D) at the Democratic National Convention.
Now, the veteran Angry Highway Warrior also known as Road Range Randy gets boy banker P.M.C. Banks (R) as his first major challenge as PCW Champion. In a match that always serves as a bellwether to who will be selected the next PCW CEO, Banks finds himself the underdog to Triple R. in this Tuesday’s title encounter.
Can the young Banks close out Triple R’s title run at a scant two months? Will Triple R take it to the political extreme and retain his PCW Title belt? We’re about to find out.
Kimber Marshall
Marshall- This next match is for the PCW Title. Coming to the ring, the challenger from the financial district of Manhattan, Republican P.M.C. Banks!
P.M.C. Banks (R)
Banks slowly comes to the ring accompanied by ‘The Massachusetts Redblood’ Mitt Romney (R-MA), aide de camp candidate Paul Ryan (R-WI), PCW Competition Committee Chair John Boehner (R-OH), Boehner’s aide Eric Cantor (R-VA), and Mitch ‘It’s Your Constitiutional Right to Spend as Much Money as You Want to Buy Influence in Our Government’ McConnell (R-KY).
Banks warily climbs into the ring.
Marshall- And his opponent, he is the ‘Angry Highway Warrior. He is Road Rage Randy. But you can call him the P-C-W Champion! Triple R!
PCW Champion Triple R (D)
Triple R comes to the ring with PCW CEO Barack Obama (D-IL), Obama’s aide de camp Joe ‘Don’t Call Me Neil Kinnock’ Biden (D-DE), PCW Executive Committee Chair Harry ‘Don’t Call Me Emperor Palpatine’ Reid (D-NV), and Nancy Pelosi.
Triple R goes to the center of the ring and offers his hand to Banks. Banks cautiously reciprocates but Triple R pulls it away at the last second and knifehand chops the challenger. The bell rings and it’s on.
Banks runs out and Triple R takes him down with a knee. The champion goes for an arm grapevine submission but Banks gets back to his feet. Triple R slaps Banks and taunts him. Triple R picks up Banks and front slams him to the mat. He hooks the leg for an early cover but Banks kicks out. Banks gets thrown into the turnbuckle. Triple R comes over and smashes Banks’s head into it and then brings Banks back out and hits jumping neck snap. Triple R goes top rope but Banks recovers and pulls him down hard to the mat. Banks drops Triple R neck first over the ropes and then sends him to ringside. Banks does a cartwheel and kicks Triple R in the face. Kneeling headbutt to Triple R’s groin.
Suave- And they’re outside. Not sure this is a good idea for Banks.
Banks starts to head back into the ring but again, the Democrats GOTV: Bain and Paddy O’Kennedy (D) come down and interject themselves into the match. Bain pulls Banks back through the ropes and then wings him hard into the guardrail. O’Kennedy leaps from the ring apron and dropkicks Banks into the guardrail. Triple R grabs a TV cable and starts choking out Banks with it. Romney climbs up on the apron to complain but…
Candy Crowley of CNN
Suave- WHAT THE HELL? CROWLEY’S STOPPING ROMNEY FROM ARGUING WITH THE REFEREE?
While that’s going on, Triple R starts bashing Banks with crap and then lays him over the rail before dropping a leg. O’Kennedy sets up a table and Triple R can drive Bank’s head through it.
Suave- HOLY CRAP!
Banks is bleeding all over the place. O’Kennedy dropkicks a chair into Banks’ face for good measure. Banks falls back on his arm awkwardly and appears to have injured it. Triple R wastes no time and goes after the injured arm with chairshots. Triple R with the DDT. The GOTV set up a table. Triple R sets Banks up but O’Kennedy miscues and accidently superkicks Triple R.
Suave- HOLY CRAP! He just took Triple R’s head off.
But O’Kennedy moonsaults Banks. New PCW Tag Team Champions Big Union: Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker run down and set Banks up on the table. O’Kennedy with another moonsault but the table doesn’t break. Big Labor throws Banks back into the ring. Triple R covers but only gets two. Big Labor immediately hits the Scabbuster and Triple R covers…1…2…NO! ORCA? ORCA MADE THE SAVE?
Suave- Well, it’s bloody about time he did something.
It’s shortlived. Both the GOTV and Big Union attack ORCA and drive him from the ring. Triple R sets up the table in the corner and whips Banks through it. Cover…1…2…Banks kicks out. Triple R stomps Banks. Double arm DDT by the champion and another cover..1…2..somehow Banks kicks out again. Banks then low bridges Triple R and rallies. He rains down right hands on the champion. Banks for the Moneybomb and hits it…but MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow, Lawrence O’Donnell, and Ed Schultz race to the ring and complain to the referee. That brings down Fox News’s contingent of Sean Hannity, Dennis Miller, and Megyn Kelly and while Banks has Triple R pinned, MSNBC, joined by ABC, NBC, CBS, and Fox News argue with the referee.
Five Thirty Eight’s Nate Silver sneaks into the ring and whaps Banks in the head with a large book of spreadsheets and Triple R manages to regain control of the match. Triple R with a forearm. And another. Banks ducks a third so Triple R hits a sit down powerbomb! Pissed off, Triple R leaves the ring and goes and gets the ring bell. The referee tries to take it away from him.
Suave- TRIPLE R WITH THE RING BELL! HE DID THE EXACT SAME THING FIVE YEARS AGO AT LOOSE CANNONS UNLEASHED 3!
Replay: PCW Loose Cannons Unleashed 3 Suave: “HOLY CRAP! IT’S A FREAKIN’ RUMBLE!” Somewhere away from the crowd, Starz’s lariat attempt is blocked when Triple R rips the bell away from the referee and slams it in Starz’s face. Suave: “GAME OVER! ONE, TWO, THREE! THAT’S IT! TRIPLE R HAS REGAINED THE PCW TITLE.!”
Triple R in the ring with the bell. Romney and Ryan both on the apron to complain to the referee and…what?
Martha Raddatz
Suave- What is SHE doing down here?
Triple R blasts Banks with the bell. Raddatz shouts at the referee and points to the ring. The referee turns and Triple R has Banks pinned…1…2…3.
WINNER AND STILL PCW CHAMPION: Triple R (D)
The Democrats in the crowd are ecstatic. The Republicans? Stunned.
Suave: IT’S THE EXTREME EQUALIZER- WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT!
Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way
Tear it down – I can’t wait another day
Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way
Tear it down – If only you could stay
All night long
Crowd: What the @#$#!…What the @!##!
Extreme Equalizer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot races to the ring. He grabs Silver by the hair…kick to the balls. Lift. Chokeslam.
Crowd- PCW!…PCW!…PCW!
Suave- Thank you. And now, it’s time…
PCW OWNER BUBBA JACKSON ANNOUNCES THE NEW PCW CEO Jackson thanks everyone for coming out.
Jackson- We’ve been through a lot over the past four years. The deficit is way too high and PCW is not on the soundest economic ground right now.
David Axelrod says the conditions were bad when Obama started his term in 2009.
Jackson- No. George W. Bush hasn’t been the PCW CEO for the past four years. This was a tough call but I have come to a decision. The PCW mid and lower card wrestlers are struggling hard right now. Mitt Romney. You ran a good campaign but in the end- what solutions to our problems did you propose differed than the ones Republicans have proposed in the past? Cut taxes? These times call for breaking out of the same old ideas.
Jackson motions to Democrats Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid and Republicans John Boehner and Mitch McConnell to step forward.
Jackson- You along with the current, and next, PCW CEO Barack Obama helped make this mess. You need to fix it. It’s Obama.
PCW CEO: Barack Obama (D-IL)
The Democrats erupt as Obama wins a second term as PCW CEO. Obama and Romney shake hands in the ring as the scene dissolves to the Des Moines International Airport in Des Moines, Iowa.
Marco Rubio (R-FL)
Rubio exits a plane and climbs into a waiting limo.
Posted on November 6, 2012 by Political Championship Wrestling
PCW Extreme Election Night – Part 2
Outside PCW Owner Bubba Jackson’s Office Two guards stand outside.
Suave- Four years ago, Bubba Jackson announced to the political wrestling world that Barack Obama would follow George W. Bush as the next PCW CEO. Tonight, will he keep Obama on for another four years? Or will he choose Mitt Romney? Stay tuned. Let’s go back to the ring.
Two years ago, Linda McMahon (R-CT), wife of WWE ChairmanVince McMahon took on Dick Blumenthal (D-CT) at PCW Extreme Election Night 2010 for a spot on the PCW Executive Committee. Despite McMahon’s wrestling pedigree, she would come up short in the political wrestling arena when her son-in-law, world famous pro wrestlerPaul Levesque(Triple H in WWE) accidently clocked her with a sledgehammer.
Now, McMahon is back and this time Vince McMahon himself will be on hand to finish the job his son-in-law couldn’t two years ago, get Linda McMahon on the PCW Executive Committee.
In her way, Democrat Chris Murphy. Can he overcome the forces of pro wrestling’s most dominant personality- Vince McMahon? Or will the McMahon family roll past Murphy?
Vince McMahon, Paul Levesque, and Stephanie McMahon-Levesque join Linda McMahon at ringside. Vince immediately starts talking to the referee as the match begins. Linda tries to connect with a knee but Murphy moves back. McMahon knifehand chops Murphy. Murphy throws McMahon off the ropes and hits a diving shoulder block. Murphy goes to follow up but Vince McMahon trips him up.
Suave- Are here we go. I still can’t believe that the chairman of the WWE, Vince McMahon, is here in PCW.
Murphy moves back to his feet and glares at McMahon. Murphy goes for a body slam but McMahon slips out. Murphy puts McMahon in the hangman submission. Vince in the ring and pulls Murphy off. Vince clocks Murphy with a closed fist and the referee literally has to pull him off. Vince is sent out of the ring but he stays on the apron and continues a running dialogue with the referee.
Suave- I think he’s saying that’s not how they do things in the WWE.
McMahon hits Murphy with a elbow smash to the face. McMahon knees Murphy and lifts him for a powerslam- but she’s not strong enough to lift Murphy. McMahon goes for a hiptoss but is unable to lift Murphy. McMahon bites Murphy’s arm. Vince throws a chair in the ring. McMahon opens up the chair…Murphy into the ropes…drop Toe Hold onto the open chair! McMahon stands up. McMahon with an armdrag. Murphy powers up and then they lockup. Murphy whips McMahon to the corner of the ring. Meanwhile, Vince McMahon continues a running commentary to the referee who appears to be getting tired of it.
McMahon jabs Murphy. Murphy comes back with a swinging DDT and covers. 1…2…Vince in and makes the save. Vince with the chair. *WHAP* Murphy’s down. Linda’s not in a position to make the cover. And the referee stops the match.
Suave- WHAT IS HE DOING? HE’S SENDING THE McMAHON FAMILY TO THE BACK!
The crowd roars and Vince is livid. Levesque in the ring and he lets the referee have it. Finally, PCW security intervenes and escorts the McMahons to the back.
Suave- Wow, I’ve never seen anything like that before.
Murphy clotheslines Linda McMahon. He then goes with a double underhook and piledrives her right into the mat. Cover…1…2…3.
WINNER: Chris Murphy (D)
Suave- Chris Murphy with the win here and…WATCH OUT!
Vince McMahon is back and he decks the referee. PCW security again swarm to the ring and McMahon is escorted out of the arena.
Posted on November 4, 2012 by Political Championship Wrestling
Two years ago, Linda McMahon (R-CT), wife of WWE ChairmanVince McMahon took on Dick Blumenthal (D-CT) at PCW Extreme Election Night 2010 for a spot on the PCW Executive Committee. Despite McMahon’s wrestling pedigree, she would come up short in the political wrestling arena when her son-in-law, world famous pro wrestlerPaul Levesque (Triple H in WWE) accidently clocked her with a sledgehammer.
Now, McMahon is back and this time Vince McMahon himself will be on hand to finish the job his son-in-law couldn’t two years ago, get Linda McMahon on the PCW Executive Committee.
In her way, Democrat Chris Murphy. Can he overcome the forces of pro wrestling’s most dominant personality- Vince McMahon? Or will the McMahon family roll past Murphy? Tune in Tuesday night and see.
Posted on August 11, 2012 by Political Championship Wrestling
PCW Politics is War Recap
Thursday August 9th, 2012
Richmond, VA
RICHMOND, VA — Democrats unveiled their new wrestler Romney Hood (D) last night on PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN but it was actor Zach ‘The Candidate’ Galifianakis who provided the distraction as Hood and Bain (D)…
Bain- a business created by Bain & Company, uses its extensive network, sector expertise and business screening capabilities to identify attractive small to mid-cap investment opportunities for its private equity investment partners.
…defeated the well-financed Coke Brothers (R) in Thursday night’ s main event. PCW Executive Committee Chair Harry Reid (D-NV) also lent some interference…
[David Coke gouges Bain's eyes and takes him down. Reid jumps into the ring and distracts him. Romney Hood hiptosses D. Coke. He gets drilled with an inverted back breaker and then Bain tiger suplexes him. Charles Coke hits a jumping neck snap on Hood. But Bain hits a huge gutbuster on Charles and then uses a swinging DDT to plant David's head into the mat.
Zach Galfianakisi at the ring now and for some unexplicable reason the Cokes are jawing at him. Hood blasts David with a chair. Bain covers...1...2...3]
So with the win, PCW CEO Barack Obama (D-IL) continues to keep challenger Mitt Romney (R-MA) off balance and playing catch up.
The Red Brand Main Event saw a three way dance taped in Columbia, Missouri Tuesday night between Republican’s Todd Akin, John Brunner, and Sarah Steelman.
With DemocratClaire McCaskillon hand to see who she’ll be facing off against at PCW Extreme Election Night 2012, the match saw both Brunner and Steelman dominate the action while Akin hung back and stayed clear. Brunner frustrated both Akin and Steelman with his tactics but first ‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin (R-AK) ran in to assist Steelman. Then Mike Huckabee (R-AR) ran in and helped tip the balance to Akin in the end.
Akin now faces McCaskill at PCW Extreme Election Night in November.
Another big Republican battle yet to be concluded is the Connecticut showdown between Christopher Shays and Linda McMahon. Winner gets Chris Murphy (D) in November at Extreme Election Night 2012.
Shays has the experience. McMahon has (NOTE: reported without violating WWE trademarks!)…
[...here comes Triple...er McMahon's son-in-law Paul Levesque! Shays tries to get out of Dodge. Triple...er...Levesque grabs him...bends him forward...double underhooks the arms...PEDI-...we mean...DOUBLE UNDERHOOK FACEBUSTER!...]
McMahon back in action…she goes for a knockout kick. Blumenthal ducks, spins her around, and slaps on the sleeper hold.
Suave- SLEEPER! SLEEPER HOLD!
McMahon tries to reach the ropes but Blumenthal keeps her right in the center of the ring.
Suave- McMAHON’S IN TROUBLE! SHE’S TOO FAR FROM THE ROPES…Oh, no.
Levesque pulls out a sledgehammer and climbs up on the apron behind Blumenthal. He climbs into the ring and raises the sledgehammer. Levesque swings…Blumenthal ducks at the last second…and McMahon gets it.
Suave- HOLY CRAP!
Levesque can’t believe it. Mrs. Levesque can’t believe it. McMahon’s out cold. Blumenthal makes the cover…one…two…three.
WINNER: Richard Blumenthal (D) @ 11:49
Levesque checks on Linda. Then he glares at Blumenthal who wisely decides to make haste to the back.
Current TV’s Al Gore (D-TN) made an appearance Thursday night in his own imitable way…
‘The Extreme Environmental Hardcore Icon’ Al Gore (D)
Suave: “IT’S HIM! HE’S HERE! THE TREE HUGGIN’, MOCHA CHUGGIN’, TOBACCO COMPANY BUGGIN’ ALPHA MALE AND ENVIROMENTAL EXTREME HARDCORE ICON…
The crowd sings the chorus “Don’t stop, thinking about tomorrow.” Gore holds up his mocha, inside an environmentally friendly biodegradable container of course, and chugs it down. Then he spews it out of his mouth into the crowd and then crushes the paper container on his forehead in a manly fashion.
The Environmental Extreme Hardcore Icon walks down the steps to the main floor. At the bottom of the steps, Gore pulls out another container of mocha, guzzles it down, spews it into the crowd, and then smashes the container on his forehead. Gore then wades through the main floor crowd to the ring. He climbs up on the apron, pulls out yet another cup of mocha, guzzles that one down, spews it into the crowd, and then smashes the container on his forehead.
Gore in the ring.
Gore: “I’m pleased to be participating in Current TV’s impressive lineup throughout the Republican and Democratic national conventions.
And with that, Gore leaves.
Suave: “And that was a lot about nothing…”
Other happenings on the show:
William Daniels Bryan and the PCW Independent/Non-Aligned contingent invaded the show and took to the ring. Bryan then asked a series of questions to the crowd about the Democrats and Republicans and answered them all by shouting “NO…NO…NO!” Bryan then repeated that the partisans on both sides will not crucify average Americans and PCW workers upon a ‘belt of gold’- again placing his hands to his temples with his fingers extended and extending his arms to his sides straight out to his body- holding the pose for several seconds.
Both Obama and Romney camps brainstorm on ways and ideas to attract the Independents and persuade them to join their cause.
-Obama decides to go on a full guns, personal assault on Romney.
-And Romney goes full guns, personal assault on Obama’s full guns, personal assault on him.
Suave: “And people wonder why the frustration with both parties are at an all time high.”
Republican strategists also met with Romney to go through his final short list for his aide de camp: Tim Pawlenty (R-MN), Chris Christie (R-NJ), Paul Ryan (R-WI), Rob Portman (R-OH) and Bobby Jindal (R-LA).
The Jersey Boyz (Vinnie and Frankie) w/Christie in their corner def. Sam Ford and Son. Sam Ford went Fred Sanford and tried to fake a heart attack in the ring- Vinnie and Frankie spiked him with the Greetings from Asbury Park (double over the shoulder reverse piledriver) for the win.
Even with the Jersey Boyz impressive win, the Republican Establishment came out of a meeting with Romney talking about Portman and Ryan.
‘King of Labor’ Richard Trumka vowed to put 300,000 union feet on the ground to help Big Union (Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker) regain the PCW Tag Team Title belts from Scott Walker (R-WI)and his Rangers (Ronnie and John Walker).
Then Trumka watched as Big Union defeated the Main Street Mafia (Brian King and Russ Smith with help from Larry the Longshoreman.
PCW Women’s Champion Jill Berg (R) and Miss USA vs. Code Pink and Emily S List goes to a no contest due to interference on all sides. Code Pink does manage to hit Berg with a Glitter Bomb in the post match fracas before PCW Security finally separated both sides.
Big Oil (R) destroyed Average Joe and then celebrated the rising gasoline prices that was ‘putting more money into his pockets.’
PCW Champion The Sanderman (D) tuned up for his title defense against ‘Japanese SuperDestroyer’ Yamamoto Tanaka (R) by defeating Jobber the Hut.
Final PCW Night of Champions Card for Wednesday Night’s Big Show:
Women’s Title Match: Women’s Champion Jill Berg (R) vs. Code Pink (D)
Tag Team Title Match: Tag Team Champions Scott Walker’s Rangers: John and Ronnie Walker (R) vs. Big Union:’The Self Described Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D)
PCW Title Match:
PCW Champion The Sanderman (D) vs. ‘The Japanese SuperDestroyer’ Yamamoto Tanaka (R)
Red Brand Shows This Weekend: Saturday- Norfolk, VA
-BIG MITT ROMNEY ANNOUCEMENT!
Sunday- Huntington, WV
Blue Brand Shows This Weekend: Saturday- Albany, NY
Sunday- Philadelphia, PA
Independent/Non-Aligned Shows This Weekend: Saturday- Marion, OH
Sunday- Chillicothe, OH
Posted on September 16, 2010 by Political Championship Wrestling
by Paige McGillicutty
A spokesman for the Corporation of Domination harshly criticized Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio for the arrest of ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann Monday night.
Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio
From Monday night’s PCW Extreme Political TV McMann celebrated with his ‘PG’ Players in the ring with Big Oil and Big Electric. Then Sheriff Joe Arpaio and Arizona Governor Jan Brewer walked to the ring. Sheriff Joe drug along El Senor Samada by a chain as he approached the ring. Brewer explains that she’s complained about the undocumented wrestler problem repeated but does not get anything out of the federal government. So Arizona passed a law to remedy that and it’s currently under challenge.
In the meantime, Sheriff Joe proceeds to arrest the undocumented wrestlers: Number One, Underweartaker, Ace of Spades, and El Senor Samada. Then Sheriff Joe stuns everyone by arresting ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann for hiring undocumented wrestlers. McMann screams for his lawyer as Sheriff Arpaio escorts him and the rest out of the arena.
The CoD called the arrest another example of ‘anti-business’ sentiments and vowed to get Mr. McMann released immediately. The last anyone has seen of Mr. McMann, he was dressed in pink and working out in the desert.
The Green World Order also blasted Sheriff Arpaio for arresting the undocumented wrestlers because “Sheriff Arpaio looked for and arrested every wrestler in the arena who was undocumented. That’s profiling and everyone knows that profiling is wrong.”
“All they’re trying to do is make a living,” said Extreme Vegan Brock Cole Lee. “By arresting them, Sheriff Arpaio is denying them the opportunity to feed their families. We should be thinking of the children.”
Posted on September 6, 2010 by Political Championship Wrestling
PCW Extreme Political TV on P-SPAN (2 hours) Wheeler Recreation Center
Bridgeport, CT
Monday September 6th
by Paige McGillicutty
Recap of PCW Extreme Political TV- Hour One
California’s Barbara Boxer (D) and Carly Fiorina (R)…
Carly Fiorina (R) and Barbara Boxer (D)
…faced off in advance of their upcoming match in less than two months at PCW’s Extreme Election Night 2010 and brawled. Fiorina cut a Promo on Boxer and asked the crowd which lady who they thought was better looking. Boxer attacked and hit a Flying Back Elbow & Springboard Sunset Flip. Fiorina hit the California Slam and a Springboard Savat Kick before referees and security hit the ring.
PCW CEO Barack Obama’s aide Rahm Emanuel…
Rahm Emanuel (D)
…comes out and attacks Fiorina. He drops Fiorina with a F-Bomb and then gets on the mic and says he can’t believe Fiorina and Boxer are matched evenly. Says some other things before…
THUMP
THUMP
THUMP-THUMP-THUMP
THUMP
THUMP
THUMP-THUMP-THUMP
The video screen goes to just outside a dressing room in the back. A police escort is waiting at the door. One of the policemen knocks on the door.
Policeman – Ms. Berg. It’s time.
Jill Berg
The door opens and four large male bodybuilding types walk out of the dressing room surrounding a petite woman and her male assistant, Jerry. The woman is busy talking on her cell phone while the man furiously scribbles down notes as the group makes their way towards the ring.
THUMP
THUMP
THUMP-THUMP-THUMP
The procession emerges from the back and starts their way down the ramp. The male assistant has a microphone and a portable tape recorder. He flips it on.
“JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”
The group then continues towards the ring leaving the police escort behind.
THUMP
THUMP
THUMP-THUMP-THUMP
“JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”
The four bodyguards assist Ms. Berg into the ring. She and her assistant immediately go to a corner.
“JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”
Berg continues to talk on her cell phone.
“JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”
“JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”
After a replay from last Monday night’s show where Jill-Berg buzzsaw kicks Nancy Pelosi (D) and then Emanuel comes out and drops an F-Bomb on Berg, Berg and Emanuel have a face to face confrontation.
Jill-Berg red mists Emanuel and then delivers a buzzsaw kick that takes him out. Berg rolls up Emanuel and a referee runs out and counts to three.
WINNER AND STILL UNDEFEATED: Jill-Berg in :18
Jill-Berg takes the mic and once again demands a PCW Title shot since obviously no one can defeat her.
MATCH #2
RINO- The Wonk Machine (R)
vs.
Paddy O’Kennedy (D)
Good back and forth match. Both worked both inside and outside. Crowd was split behind both men. O’Kennedy hit a Flying Cross Body on RINO. RINO used his power to push O’Kennedy around. Paddy landed a Tornado DDT. RINO later worked on O’Kennedy’s arms & legs. Towards the end, O’Kennedy tried for a Frog Splash but RINO got his knees up. RINO whips him into the Steel Posts and SPEARS! O’Kennedy for the pin.
WINNER: RINO- The Wonk Machine @ 14:22
MATCH #3
Triple R (D)
vs.
Nick Ray (R)
Ray hit some aerial moves on Triple R. Triple R used his strength and worked on Ray’s arms during the match. Triple R skulled Ray with a couple chairshots to score the pinfall. Lot of “You Suck” chants directed at Triple R who took it all in stride.
Post-match, Triple R flipped off the crowd and walked to the back.
WINNER: Triple R @ 5:09
FormerPCW Champion Stone Chism (D) surprises everyone when he walks out to the ring. Chism cuts a Heel promo and asked the crowd if anyone has ever let people down. Chism doesn’t accept “failure.” When Chism lost to Yamamoto Tanaka, he didn’t fail. The Democrats failed him. Crowd full of “Tanaka Destroyed You!” chants. Chism says he’ll makes Nancy Pelosi apologize and Harry Reid get on his knees and beg for forgiveness for leaving him hanging.
Chism says he has a plan and a huge surprise in store next week.
Recap of PCW Extreme Political TV- Hour Two
MATCH #4- PCW Television Title Match
Ken Worth- The American Trucker w/Tequila Sheila (I-American Heartland Coalition) (c)
vs.
Magnum P.O.’d w/Robyn Masters (R)
Magnum countered the Jake Brake early with a Roll Up. Worth hit an Enzugiri. Masters tries to take off the Turnbuckle Pad off and then tries to interfere when the referee goes to fix the Pad. Worth counters and throws Magnum into Masters. In the confusion, Worth hits the Jake Brake and scores the pinfall on a Roll Up.
WINNER AND STILL PCW TELEVISION TITLE: Ken Worth- The American Trucker @ 9:46
‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave recounts the Daniel-San incident from last week. Suffice to say that Madame President of the PCW Competition Committee Nancy Pelosi…
Nancy Pelosi (D)
…was none too pleased at the return of Daniel-San to PCW last week. The last anyone had heard from Daniel-San was at PCW’s Loose Cannons Unleashed Pay Per View.
Daniel-San appeared last week and ruined the PG party ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann tried to throw. ‘Foul Pole’ Andy Golatta and Daniel-San will team together as a tag team called the International Hit Squad with Daniel-San’s new manager, Mrs. Miyagi.
MATCH #5 Big Oil & Big Electric w/’Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann and Connecticut’s Linda McMahon (R)
vs. The International Hit Squad
‘The Foul Pole’ Andy Golatta & Daniel-San w/Mrs. Miyagi (I)
Linda McMahon cut a heel promo before the match and said everyone is jealous that they don’t have a shiny Intercontinental Title Belt just like Jack Swagger does in her husband’s federation as the crowd boos. She says she’s going to take care of her Democratic opponent Richard Blumenthal at PCW’s Extreme Election Night in November just like her husband takes care of business at the WWE.
Good back and forth match. Big Oil and Big Electric worked seamlessly early on and dominated Daniel-San. Big Oil threw out Daniel-San to work on Golatta. Big Oil hit some big shots. T-Bone Suplex by Big Oil resulted in a cover and a two count to Golatta. ‘The Foul Pole’ hit a Double Atomic Drop on both Big Oil & Big Electric. Big Oil did slap on the Sleeper on Daniel-San, but Daniel-San countered with the Neck Breaker. Golatta got the upper hand with a Big Boot to Big Electric. Daniel-San tried to hit the Future Shock DDT on Big Electric, but Big Oil hits the Oklahoma Driller on Daniel-San.
Then Richard Blumenthal (D) and young Democrats Jordan Metzger and Andy Riley run out and distract Big Oil. Linda McMahon and Blumenthal begin jawing back and forth. Golatta does the big wind up and nails Big Oil on the balls with the Foul Pole Punch and Rolls Up the big guy to score the pinfall.
WINNER: The International Hit Squad: ‘Foul Pole’ Andy Golatta and Daniel-San @ 17:41
Reika Kisaurgi and PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka walk out to answer Stone Chism’s remarks earlier in the night. Sick smile on Tanaka’s face. Reika says that the only thing Tanaka took from their match back in March was being able to take Chism out in thirty seconds. Tanaka, through Reika, dares him to come down to the ring like a man and let’s do it now.
Someone does walk down to the ring, but it’s not Stone Chism. It’s Doug ‘King Kong’ Kingman.
Kingman came out to a HUGE cheer. Good back and forth match. They both worked outside the ring at first with Kingman taking the early edge on Tanaka. Kingman scored with fists in the corner and then bodyslammed the PCW Champion a couple times. Irishwhip to Tanaka. Tanaka hits a Flying Clothesline. Reika came in to give a Steel Chair to Tanaka. Tanaka Chairshots Kingman and then follows by a DDT on the Chair. Kingman inches to the ropes and gets to the floor.
Tanaka whips Kingman into the steps. He then wraps Kingman’s arm around the railing and tries to pull it out of its socket. Tanaka lifts Kingman for a back suplex and crotches him on the railing. After Tanaka stomps on the knee, he lifts the railing and drops it on Kingman’s knee. He wraps Kong’s knee around the railing and then rolls him back inside. Tanaka goes to the top turnbuckle and the crowd roars when Kevin Scott (R)…
‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R)
…races down with a Singapore cane in hand. Tanaka jumps…Scott nails a Singapore caneshot to the head while the champion was in midair! Another Singapore caneshot by Scott. Pump handle slam by Kingman…overhead slam follows! Scott rolls Tanaka over…Singapore cane Crossface! Reika in the ring! Kingman pulls her away from Scott. Another roar…
Charlie Ranck and Pete Fyle (D)
Ranck and Fyle race down to the ring. Ranck grabs a chair and blasts Kingman over the head with it. Ranck and Fyle tie up Kingman’s leg in a chair and Tanaka wraps it up in a Texas Cloverleaf! Kingman taps out.
WINNER AND STILL PCW CHAMPION: Yamamoto Tanaka @ 19:51
Posted on August 30, 2010 by Political Championship Wrestling
PCW Extreme Political TV on P-SPAN (2 hours) Various Arenas
Various Places
Monday August 30th
by Paige McGillicutty
Recap of PCW Extreme Political TV- Hour One
Various Arenas
Nancy Pelosi (D) …
Nancy Pelosi (D)
…comes out and explains that Jill-Berg (R) …
Jill-Berg
…is finished in PCW. This brings out Berg who begs to differ. Pelosi slaps Berg and demands her respect. Berg takes her out with a buzzsaw kick.
This, of course, brings out Rahm Emanuel (D) …
Leader: Rahm Emanuel aka Rahmbo/ F-Bomb
…who drops a couple F-bombs on Berg.
This, of course, bring out ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R) …
…who makes Emanuel eat a T-Bone suplex. Scott then slaps on the ankle lock and leaves PCW CEO Barack Obama right hand man laying and Scott standing tall.
Average Joe (I-American Heartland Coalition) comes out with Tequila Sheila.
Average Joe and Tequila Sheila (I-American Heartland Coalition)
Average Joe gets in a couple shots at Emanuel while Sheila ends up laying the boots to Pelosi as well. The PCW Clean Up Crew make their first appearance of the night and stretcher Pelosi and Berg out.
Replay of last week’s Kevin Scott (R)- Yamamoto Tanaka (D) match from PCW Loose Cannons Lock and Load 5. Suave – SCOTT GOING UP TOP…NO! TANAKA AVOIDED THE MISSILE DROPKICK…AND NOW HE’S DRAGGING SCOTT TO THE TOP ROPE!
Tanaka sets Scott up for the Japanese SuperDestroyer.
Suave – FIVE…FOUR…THREE…TWO…ONE…HOLY CRAP!
Tanaka squashes Scott on the mat. He hooks the legs. Keels counts to three.
Suave – IT’S OVER!
The PCW Champion and Reika are here to lay down the law. Reika tells Scott that he had his chance and couldn’t seal the deal against the most dominant PCW Champion in history. Scott comes out with PCW Hall of Famer ‘Not Just Unbearable, not just intolerable, he is…’ Justin Sufferable. He begs to differ and pisses Reika off. Reika tries to super kick Scott and eats several cane shots from Sufferable. Scott promises to come for the belt.
MATCH #1
‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido and Charlie Blackwell w/Kenzie Blair (I-American Heartland Coalition)
vs.
…..
Doug ‘King Kong’ Kingman and Josh Jackson (R) w/’The Queen of Political Extreme’ Ann Coulter
END SUMMARY
…Kingman beats Blackwell down, tears off his shirt, and wipes his ass with it. Run in by Democrats Jordan Metzger and Triple R, who canes everyone in sight including the referee. Kenzie Blair proves that she’s been reading up on old school by using a chain and blasting Triple R with it.
After Kingman dominated for the majority of the bout as Jackson kept Escondido busy on the floor a good deal of the match. Kingman and Coulter abuse the hell out of Blackwell. Eventually SNAFU (I) runs wild with a frying pan that leaves a mark on Kingman and Jackson. Kenzie tapes the frying pan to Blackwell’s boot and he gets an Enziguri to Jackson for the pin.
WINNER: “No Frills” Chris Escondido and Charlie Blackwell @ 19:46
We then see the Lisa Murkowski-Joe Miller match from last week…
Joe Miller (R)
vs.
Lisa Murkowski (R)
…where ‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin…
‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin
…came out and clubbed her with a hockey stick to allow Miller to win. Murkowski cuts a promo on Miller and Palin. This isn’t some local political wrestling company, this is PCW. Murkowski lays down a warning to Miller that she’s not giving up.
MATCH #2
Paddy O’Kennedy- The Boston Strangler (D)
vs.
Nick Ray (R)
END SUMMARY O’Kennedy kills Ray with various versions of the lariat. The sleeper hold finishes it.
WINNER: Paddy O’Kennedy @ 2:15
‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave puts over the fact that Kevin Scott is on a quest to redeem himself and regain the PCW title and feels that no one is giving him much of a chance.
MATCH #3 ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott w/Justin Sufferable (R)
vs.
Andy Riley (D)
END SUMMARY
Scott squashes Riley. Sufferable hits the ring and destroys Riley with cane shots after the match.
WINNER: Kevin Scott @ 1:49
————————–
Recap of PCW Extreme Political TV- Hour Two
From the Glenn Beck and Al Sharpton Rallies in Washington D.C.
We get footage of Beck, ‘the Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin, and elsewhere, Al Sharpton as their rallies went on while PCW held a special show in Washington D.C.
The Corporation of Domination, led by ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann and Republican Linda McMahon…
Linda McMahon (R)
…walk to the ring to address the beatdown delivered at PCW Loose Cannons Lock and Load 5 by Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, New York Jets Coach Rex Ryan, and former Chicago Cubs Manager Lou Piniella.
With Big Oil, Big Electric, and Kirk Walstreit standing behind him, Mr. McMann again opines that PCW would benefit from going PG and again brought out the three characters (the Underweartaker, Number One, and Ace of Spades) he thought would make an immediate impression on the PCW fans. Suave cracks that the impression was already made and the PCW fans ‘number 1′d all over McMann’s ‘number 2′ characters.
Number One, The Underweartaker, and the Ace of Spades call for challengers, and the erupts when the ‘Foul Pole’ Andy Golatta (I) walks out.
‘The Foul Pole’ Andy Golatta (I)
As you can imagine there is a lot of low blows thrown by Golatta who destroys McMann’s PG wrestlers in less than a minute. Then Golatta is attacked by the C.O.D. Big Oil choke slams Golatta. Big Electric gives him the Electric Chair Drop and Kirk Walstreit hits a Stock Market Crash on the Pole. The crowd suddenly roars…
Daniel-San (I)
Suave shrieks that he’s back. Daniel-San clears Big Oil and Big Electric but slaps the Cattle Mutilation on Kirk Walstreit. Then Daniel-San grabs Walstreit’s tie and starts choking him with it. Definitely not PG and Linda McMahon and the ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ are besides themselves. Golatta gets back up and gives McMann a ‘Foul Pole’ to his package as a parting gift.
MATCH #4
Jack and Joe Schmidt w/Ron Paul, Jim Schmidt, and Hans Gruber- the Extreme German Schnauzer (Libertarian)
vs.
Big Electric and Kirk Walstreit w/Big Oil (C.O.D.)
Suave does a pre-match bit explaining that the COD has brought in their own corporate referee for the bout because Mr. McMann thought he couldn’t get a fair match otherwise. Walstreit pulls a high risk move out of his arsenal and dives from the top rope INTO the crowd onto a brawling Jack Schmidt. Both teams kick the crap out of each other for twenty minutes. McMann’s Corporate Referee then gives Big Electric handcuffs, and he handcuff’s Jack to the top rope. Big Electric and then Big Oil beat his ass while Jack screams for help. Unfortunately, Joe was knocked out, Jim was knocked out, Ron Paul was knocked out, and Hans Gruber was nowhere to be seen. Walstreit applies the figure four, and Big Electric kills Jack with the chair shot and the C.O.D. wins.
WINNER: Big Electric and Kirk Walstreit @ 22:11
More Beck, Palin, and Sharpton from their respective rallies.
The C.O.D. begin to head to the back but someone attacks Big Oil.
MATCH #5 Average Joe (I-American Heartland Coalition)
vs. Big Oil (C.O.D.)
An old rivalry gets renewed in an impromptu match. Big Oil and Average Joe start on the floor and brawl. Average Joe gets a couple chairshots. Suave notes that both had a beef and they are showing it.
Big Oil attacks Hawaiian Shirt Guy and rips his shirt off. Hawaiian Shirt Guy didn’t look very pleased. Average Joe fakes a fall off of the top rope and then kills Big Oil with a chair show. The end comes when Big Oil shocks everyone by moonsaulting onto Average Joe for the win.
Posted on August 23, 2010 by Political Championship Wrestling
THUMP
THUMP
THUMP-THUMP-THUMP
THUMP
THUMP
THUMP-THUMP-THUMP
The video screen goes to just outside a dressing room in the back. A police escort is waiting at the door. One of the policemen knocks on the door.
Policeman – Ms. Berg. It’s time.
The door opens and four large male bodybuilding types walk out of the dressing room surrounding a petite woman and her male assistant, Jerry. The woman is busy talking on her cell phone while the man furiously scribbles down notes as the group makes their way towards the ring.
Suave – Here she comes! The phenomenon known as…JILL-BERG!
THUMP
THUMP
THUMP-THUMP-THUMP
The procession emerges from the back and starts their way down the ramp. The male assistant has a microphone and a portable tape recorder. He flips it on.
“JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”
The group then continues towards the ring leaving the police escort behind.
THUMP
THUMP
THUMP-THUMP-THUMP
“JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”
The four bodyguards assist Ms. Berg into the ring. She and her assistant immediately go to a corner.
“JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”
Berg continues to talk on her cell phone.
“JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”
“JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”
Kimber Marshall in the ring.
Marshall – Weighing tonight at 95 pounds. From the financial district of New York City…she is JILL-BERG!
“JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”
“JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”
Marshall – And her opponent…weighing in at a combined 490 pounds, they are the PCW Tag Team champions, the team of Ricky Michaels and Marty Lane- THE KINGS OF OLD SCHOOL!
Michaels and Lane walk to the ring accompanied by the Leader of the PCW Competition Committee Nancy Pelosi.
MATCH #8- HANDICAP MATCH- Non-Title Match
The Kings of Old School: Ricky Michaels and Marty Lane (D) (c)
vs.
Jill-Berg (R)
Nancy Pelosi takes the mic.
Pelosi – Let me remind you, Ms. Berg. When the Kings of Old School destroy you tonight in this ring, you are banned from PCW forever.
Jill-Berg asks for a mic of her own.
Jill-Berg – Let me remind YOU, Madame Pelosi. When I defeat the Kings of Old School tonight, you will give me a shot at the PCW Title!
Pelosi – I don’t think that’s going to happen.
Democrats Jordan Metzger, Andy Riley, and Ranck and Fyle race to the ring and attack Berg’s bodyguards with Michaels and Lane.
Suave – PELOSI PLANNED THIS! SHE HAD A PLAN ALL ALONG!
Metzger heaves a bodyguard out of the ring. Michaels and Lane throw another over the top rope.
Jill-Berg calmly waits in her corner as the action unfolds in front of her.
Suave – HOW CAN SHE BE SO RELAXED WHEN ALL HELL IS BREAKING LOOSE IN FRONT OF HER!
Limbaugh – That’s what makes her so great, Johnny.
Olbermann – She’s probably on drugs.
A fifth bodyguard suddenly runs down carrying a chair and wearing a mask.
Suave – WAIT A MINUTE! A FIFTH BODYGUARD IS COMING IN!
The bodyguard clubs Jordan Metzger with the chair…then Charlie Ranck. Two other bodyguards heave Pete Fyle out of the ring.
Ricky Michaels goes after Jill-Berg. The fifth bodyguard throws the chair at Michaels. Michaels catches the chair in mid-air. The bodyguard then kicks the chair flush into Michaels face.
Suave – HOLY CRAP!
Michaels is out. The fifth bodyguard pulls off the mask.
Suave – IT’S DORLING! DORLING FROM SIN CITY WRESTLING!
The other two bodyguards throw Andy Riley out of the ring.
Jill-Berg coolly walks up to Marty Lane. Lane looks ready to pounce on her. Berg spews a green mist into Lane’s eyes.
Crowd – RAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!
Suave – GREEN MIST! GREEN MIST!
Lane wipes his eyes and tries to clear them. Jill winds up with her foot and punts Lane in the balls.
Suave – HELLO!
Lane drops to his knees. Jill then whips around and nails Lane with a buzzsaw kick.
Pelosi – NOOOOOOO!
Suave – LANE’S OUT! BERG WITH THE COVER…ONE…TWO…THREE! SHE’S DONE IT! JILL-BERG DEFEATS THE KINGS OF OLD SCHOOL!
Pelosi can’t believe it.
WINNER: Jill Berg @ 1:58
Pelosi – FORGET IT, JILL! I DON’T CARE WHAT HAPPENED HERE TONIGHT! YOU WILL NEVER, EVER GET A SHOT AT THE PCW TITLE!
Crowd – BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Suave – What the hell? Berg defeated the Kings of Old School! The stipulation says she gets a shot at the PCW title!
Olbermann – Berg didn’t defeat the Kings of Old School! That meddling Dorling from SCW did.
Dorling holds up Berg’s arm as she celebrates her win and taunts Pelosi.
————————-
Tomorrow Night: PCW Arizona Showdown in the Desert- 10 PM from Phoenix, Arizona
Magnum P.O.’d w/Valet Robyn Masters and
John McCain (R)
vs.
Doug ‘King Kong’ Kingman w/
J.D. Hayworth (R)
———————————-
Suave – All right, we’re coming up on the elimination match for a shot at the PCW Title in just a few moments. In the meantime -
No Chance…that’s what you’ve got
Up against a machine too strong
Pretty politicians buying souls from us are PUPPETS
Who’ll find their place in line
Suave – What the hell?
But tie a string around your finger now boy
’cause it’s, it’s just a matter of time
’cause you’ve got…
Linda McMahon (R) appears with ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann, Big Oil, Big Electric, and Kirk Walstreit of the Corporation of Domination.
No chance…
No chance in hell, (you’ve got)
No chance
No chance in hell, (you’ve got)
McMahon and McMann lead the C.O.D. down to the ring. They climb in.
Crowd – BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Linda McMahon – Ladies and gentlemen. I have to admit, you’ve had a pretty entertaining pay per view so far.
Crowd – RAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!
Linda McMahon – But! It could be better. If it would only be more…P-G.
Crowd – BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
McMann – Oh, shut up. I’m a Sports Entertainment Genius! I know what you want. Now, I found these guys over at Defiance Wrestling. They apparently applied for work there but Defiance didn’t have the foresight to hire them. I don’t know who came up with these characters. But, they’re perfect for a less extreme…PG type of presentation. Here’s Number One.
On the screen appears ‘Number One’ who stands in what appears to be a bathroom.
McMann – Number One is your typical Beveryl Hills, CA individual who’s grown up with a silver spoon in his mouth. From always being at the head of the class to the captain of the football team to the lead role in the school play, having the head cheerleader and most beautiful girl in school by his side, valedictorian, first draft quarterback pick in his college days………this all sort of gets redundant after a while but you get the picture. He’s number one at it all!
Number One looks right into the camera.
NUMBER ONE - Hey! Let me be the first to congratulate you on finally meeting me! Why? ‘CAUSE I’M NUMBER ONE! What makes me number one? It’s what I am! I say what I am and I am what I say! Whether it be bowling, crossword puzzles, poker, arm wrestling, dating, intelligence or just plain talking…….I am the top dog! I am the big cheese! I am too good for TV! Now I’ve got to say that I think that it’s pathetic that I have to go through the lame process of being voted into this mediocre cesspool of talentless meatheads via four votes from some baloney jabronies! But vote you will because a lot of you have something to prove and I will send you straight to failure. Why? BECAUSE I’M NUMBER ONE!! HA!HA!HA!HA! Which only means that all of you are…
The camera pans down into a toilet full of human waste.
Number One – …NUMBER TWO! And all I’ve got to do to clean this place up is……..
Number One flushes the toilet and starts laughing hysterically and jumping up and down! He then waves his hands in the air as he runs out of the bathroom.
Suave – You’ve got to be kidding.
Crowd – BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Mr. McMann – Isn’t he great? Remember, who’s the Sports Entertainment Genius? I AM! Now, let’s looks at our second wrestler- The Underweartaker
Suave – The Underweartaker?
Mr. McMann – He’s strongly convinced that all the soiled underwear in the world has led to the existing problems in the universe. In a mentally disturbed kind-of way, he feels that if he cleans them all, it would solve this problem. Not much is known about this odd character. But what we do know is that he spent most of his childhood in laundromats while his mother did the weekly laundry. One day, she just left him there while he was completely fascinated with the rinse cycle and he never saw her again. From this day, he spent his time hopping from one laundromat to the next hoping to find her and finally coming to the realization that he has a better purpose in life. He was thrown out of college after leading many a panty raid, but not before being kicked off of the football team for weird behavior. Many of his teammates became freaked out after he kept badgering them to let him wash their tightie whities. So, in the best interest of the team, and anyone else that used the locker room, they had to send him walking.
The screen shows a dark laundry room. The temperature rises about 10 degrees as inside the room hangs many clotheslines strung with drying pairs of underwear……boxers, briefs, boxer briefs, panties, thongs, bloomers…….you get the picture. In the corner is a figure, who looks to be about seven feet tall, washing underwear slowly and methodically in one of the three washboard pails that are on the table in front of him. After scrubbing, he hangs the pair on the clothesline next to him and continues with the next one he pulls out of a large laundry bag. His hair covering his face……
SHAWL WEARER - Oooooooooh, yes! Thank you for stopping by! My Underweartaker has been working diligently to have everything ready for when he takes Defiance by storm. No stain, skidmark or……you know……..is safe when he’s around! I can only warn you of the terror and embarrassment that you will all endure! If you all had only listened to your mothers when they begged you to put on clean underwear, my Underweartaker wouldn’t have to put you all through what is about to happen! You all will be fit to be TIDE! OOOOOOOOOOH, YES!!!!!!!!
The camera pans over to the figure in the corner. His hair hangs in his face as if he didn’t have one. One eye pops through as a deep, gravely voice emerges from him………..
UNDERWEARTAKER – There is nothing to wear………..but underwear itself. (groan) The crimes that you all have committed against your washing machine come with a price………..a price that I will extract from each and everyone of you………..a heavy price, indeed. (groan) There will be nothing left but the vile memory of a locker room gone wrong. (flips his head back as his eyes roll into the back of his head) REST IN FLEECE!! (groan)
The camera starts to fade as Shawl Wearer and a dryer’s timer buzzing can be heard in the background……….
SHAWL WEARER - Ooooh, yes……….
Crowd – BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Mr. McMann – SHUT UP! DON’T YOU GET IT? I AM A SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT GENIUS! I KNOW WHAT YOU WANT TO WATCH! YOU WANT PG…NOT EXTREME!
Another wrestler appears on the screen sitting at a computer. With a deviously sounding laugh, he starts to pound away at the keyboard. The speed of his hands is just ferocious, partly due to working the old day job sitting behind a desk for so many years.
Wrestler – I am the ACE of SPADES! I’ll show them…….I’ll show them that if you reach down deep enough……..you’ll find and produce a tornado that not even they’re grandchildren’s bitches will be able to comprehend! Here we go…….
*Def Leppard’s ‘Rock, Rock Til You Drop begins to play*
Hold onto your hat, hold onto your heart
Ready, get set to tear this place apart
Don’t need a ticket, only place in town
That’ll take you up to heaven and never bring you down
Anything goes! Anything goes!
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot
The crowd goes nuts when the Extreme Equalizer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot appears on screen behind the Ace of Spades.
Suave – YES!
Women to the left, Women to the right
There to entertain and take you thru the night
So grab a little heat and come along with me
‘Cause your mama don’t mind what your mama don’t see
Anything goes! Anything goes!
Then New York Jets head coach Rex Ryan appears with WTF.
Coach Rex Ryan
Suave – REX RYAN! HE’S THERE, TOO!
Then former Chicago Cubs manager Lou Piniella shows up.
Lou Piniella
Suave – LOU PINIELLA!
Rock! Rock! till you drop
Rock! Rock! never stop
Rock! Rock! till you drop
I say Rock! Rock! to the top
WTF grabs the Ace of Spades by the throat…
Mr. McMann – NOOOOOOOOO!
WTF lifts him up…and choke slams him to the mat.
Ryan drops a couple F-bombs and then tackles Number One.
Piniella picks up a laundry basket and heaves it at the Underweartaker.
McMann and McMahon storm off with the C.O.D. trailing them.
Posted on August 10, 2010 by Political Championship Wrestling
PCW Extreme Political TV on P-SPAN (2 hours)
Utica Memorial Auditorium
Utica, NY Monday August 9th
Host: Paige McGillicutty
Paige McGillicutty
Paige McGillicutty – Paige McGillicutty here with tonight’s PCW Extreme Political TV report. Tonight was PCW’s first two hour show on P-SPAN and started with an unusual debut to say the very least. Let’s go ‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave ringside.
[......Kimber Marshall inside the ring.
Kimber Marshall - ...Pat Starr!
*’I Wrote This Song’ by Patrick Star plays*
Twinkle, Twinkle patrick star
I made myself a sandwich
My mommy named it fred
It tastes like beans & bacon
And it smells like it’s been dead!
Writing is hard
So I use a pointy pencil
pointy pointy pointy pointy pointy point
Pee-uuh
What’s that horrible smell?
I have a head
It ends in a point pointy pointy pointy pointy pointy point This song is over
Except 4 this line:
You win this round
Broccoli
Yeah!
Johnny Suave – Okay. What the hell was that?
Pat Starr climbs into the ring and jumps up and down.
THUMP
THUMP
THUMP-THUMP-THUMP
THUMP
THUMP
THUMP-THUMP-THUMP
The video screen goes to just outside a dressing room in the back. A police escort is waiting at the door. One of the policemen knocks on the door.
Policeman – Ms. Berg. It’s time.
Jill-Berg
The door opens and four large male bodybuilding types walk out of the dressing room surrounding a petite woman and her male assistant, Jerry. The woman is busy talking on her cell phone while the man furiously scribbles down notes as the group makes their way towards the ring.
THUMP
THUMP
THUMP-THUMP-THUMP
The procession emerges from the back and starts their way down the ramp. The male assistant has a microphone and a portable tape recorder. He flips it on.
“JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”
The group then continues towards the ring leaving the police escort behind.
“JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”
The four bodyguards assist Ms. Berg into the ring. She and her assistant immediately go to a corner.
“JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”
Berg continues to talk on her cell phone.
“JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”
“JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”
MATCH #1
Jill-Berg (R)
vs.
Pat Starr (I)
End Summary
…Berg’s bodyguard spears Starr. Another one gives Starr a jackhammer slam. The other two bodyguards hold Starr up. Berg hands Jerry her phone and walks over…BUZZSAW KICK! Starr down and out. Berg covers…1…2…3.
WINNER AND NOW 16-0: Jill-Berg in :36
……]
Paige McGillicutty – Next, we found out who John McCain (R) and J.D. Hayworth (R) were going to choose to represent them at August 24th’s Arizona Showdown in the Desert.
John McCain (R)
J.D. Hayworth (R)
[......Hayworth names rookie Doug "King Kong' Kingman as his champion...
Doug 'King Kong' Kingman (R)
McCain names Magnum P.O.'d. Magnum comes out with his valet, Robyn Masters...
Magnum, P.O.’d (R)
Valet: Robyn Masters
Hayworth and McCain then begin to jaw back and forth. Kingman cheap shots Magnum. Robyn Masters comes in and low blows Kingman.
Suddenly, the Tea Party (Nic Koteen, NRA, Al Cahall) led by the 'Princess of Political Incorrectness' Andrea Doria run in and attack McCain, Magnum, and Masters......]
Paige McGillicutty – So, the Showdown in the Desert promises to be an extreme affair with the Tea Party throwing their support behind Hayworth. Next…
[......Jill-Berg stands in the back.
Jill-Berg - HI, I'M JILL-BERG FROM POLITICAL CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING. WHAT DO SEX, TATTOOS, BODY PIERCINGS, TOOTHBRUSHES, AND CONTACT SPORTS HAVE IN COMMON? THEY CAN ALL PUT COLLEGE STUDENTS AT RISK FOR HEPATITIS B, A SERIOUS DISEASE THAT CAN LEAD TO CHRONIC, EVEN LIFE THREATENING LIVER DISEASE. MOST OF THE 78,000 PEOPLE INFECTED IN 2001 WERE YOUNG ADULTS, AND THERE IS NO CURE. A SAFE AND EFFECTIVE VACCINE CAN PREVENT HEPATITIS B. HEALTH OFFICIALS RECOMMEND THAT ALL STUDENTS GET VACCINATED. LEARN MORE ABOUT THIS TODAY. THIS HAS BEEN A PUBLIC SERVICE MESSAGE FROM ME, JILL-BERG. OTHER WRESTLERS WRESTLE FOR THEMSELVES. I'M WRESTLING FOR THE CHILDREN......]
Paige McGillicutty – This, of course, gave Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid plenty of heartburn…
[......Leader of the PCW Competition Committee Nancy Pelosi (D)...
Nancy Pelosi (D)
and Leader of the PCW Executive Committee Harry Reid (D)...
Harry Reid (D)
Pelosi and Reid discuss the 'Jill-Berg' problem. Reid wants to block her from ever getting a title shot. Pelosi agrees but wonders how? Reid comes up with a plan. Give Berg a match at PCW Lock and Load that she has to win or she'll never get a title shot. Pelosi thinks she has just the idea for a match.
Sharron Angle (R)
Sharron Angle (R) runs in and waffles Reid with a steel chair. Pelosi dives to the floor as Angle blasted away on Reid.
Democrats Rahm Emanuel and Reika Kisaurgi run in and pull Angle off......]
Paige McGillicutty – Last night, Charlie Blackwell wrestled former Pro Wrestling Fire Champion Jack Benevolence in the second round of the Expert’s Extreme Tournament. Here’s how it went…
(courtesy of The Experts)
[......The scene goes backstage as a group of guards arrive outside the cells of Jack Benevolence and Charlie Blackwell, and the two wrestlers stare one another down from inside their opposing cells. A main guard steps forward, looking from one side to the other.
Guard - Prisoners A-UR-8 and A-UR-10, stand back for unlocking.
Benevolence and Blackwell do as they are told as the other guards unlock their cells. The two wrestlers slowly exit their cells with a team of guards surrounding each of them as chaperones for the competitors. As they are being lead down the corridor Benevolence smirks.
Jack Benevolence - All set to crash out, rookie?
Blackwell grits his teeth as he's lead down the corridor alongside Benevolence, trying to ignore his arrogant opponent.
Jack Benevolence - I guess you're looking forward to your brush with fame against the man who put Level-One out, aren't you?
Again Blackwell grits his teeth as he continues to head towards the ring. Finally Benevolence smirks again, facing Blackwell.
Jack Benevolence - I guess I'm just gonna have to make you tap out, aren't I?
Charlie Blackwell - Just you God damn try it!
Now both are stopped dead as they stare one another down. They get closer, going nose to nose before Benevolence laughs, and slaps Blackwell across the face! Blackwell stumbles back, throwing a shot at Benevolence and he slams him up against the bars of the nearest cell. Benevolence throws shots back at him as the two brawl it out, the guards trying to tear them away from one another. Finally the fight calms down and the guards manage to separate them, both still staring one another down.
Guard - Get them out of here, they can settle it in their match.
Jack Benevolence - WHEN I WIN!
Charlie Blackwell - Yeah, right...
The crowd begin to chant “Let's go Blackwell” as the scene returns to ringside ahead of their match.
MATCH #2 - Round 2 of the Expert's Extreme Tournament
Charlie Blackwell (I)
vs.
Jack Benevolence
Blackwell gets to the top rope and stalks the staggering Jack Benevolence for his signature missile dropkick. Benevolence spots Blackwell as he leaps, and manages to pull the referee in the way, causing Blackwell to dropkick the ref! The crowd boo Benevolence as he storms at Blackwell with a massive clothesline. He then looks at the downed match official and the downed Blackwell, and shouts at Russell White who pulls out a steel chair from ringside. He slides it through to Benevolence who grasps it, and as Blackwell gets to his feet Benevolence slams the chair over Blackwell's head! Blackwell hits the mat and Benevolence spots the referee beginning to stir. Benevolence then drags Blackwell up and throws him into the corner, wedging the chair between Blackwell and the turnbuckles, before he hits the mat himself. Kenzie Blair begins to shout and scream at the referee, however Russell White's able to get a hand over her mouth as the referee stands, spotting the supine Jack Benevolence and Blackwell in the corner with a weapon by his side... and he calls for the bell!
Winner, via DQ and advancing: Jack Benevolence @ 8:44
......]
Paige McGillicutty – Linda McMahon (R) came out next. She was a little vexed over a certain wrestling company putting on a pay per view with certain wrestlers from a certain extreme wrestling company.
[......McMahon decries TNA's ECW-themed PPV as a blatant attempt to make money off of trademarks owned by her husband's company. She mocked the show and added that they couldn't even get Paul Heyman to attend. ECW was a brand, a brand now owned by her husband that couldn't cut it on the Sci-Fi network and was cancelled.
Average Joe (I) came out. He calls ECW more than just a 'brand.' Last night's show reclaimed the spirit of ECW that the WWE killed by watering it down for corporate consumption. McMahon tries to cut back in but Average Joe keeps going. He says he's glad Heyman didn't show up last night because it would have taken the focus off the real heroes of ECW- the workers themselves.
McMahon, now angry, signals to the back and out comes 'Sports Entertainment Genius' Mr. McMann with the Corporation of Domination (Big Oil, Big Electric, Kirk Walstreit) The C.O.D. attack Average Joe and then the American Heartland Coalition (Ken Worth- The American Trucker, SNAFU, and ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido) run down......]
Paige McGillicutty – Match three featured the PCW Tag Team champions, The Kings of Old School (D) against two young Republicans in Josh Jackson and Nick Ray.
[......
MATCH #3- PCW Tag Team Title Match
Kings of Old School: Ricky Michaels and Marty Lane(D) (c) vs.
Josh Jackson and Nick Ray (R)
End summary ...Michaels on Ray, Lane on Jackson inside the ring. Arm drags by Jackson. Jab and Jackson whips Lane into the ropes. Lane hits the flying tackle to end that. Michaels and Ray roll in. Ray charges into an elbow. Second rope clothesline by Michaels. Ray with a whip and he runs into a boot. Flying tackle from the top by Lane. Michaels creams Ray with a trash can lid shot. Skillet shot by Lane to Ray. Jackson is in and tattoos Michaels with a cookie sheet. Ray blindsides Michaels. But he misses a clothesline and eats the trashcan lid shot from Lane. Michaels hits the inverted DDT on Ray for 2. Michaels gets nailed with a neckbreaker by Jackson for 2.
Lane clobbers Jackson with a trashcan lid shot and calls for a table. Michaels obliges. Lane and Michaels lift Jackson and put him through the table. Michaels covers...1...2...3.
WINNER AND STILL PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: The Kings of Old School @ 9:03
The Kings of Old School take the mic. Michaels says they are the greatest tag team in the world.
'No Frills' Chris Escondido and Charlie Blackwell (I)
Escondido and Blackwell run in. Johnny Suave is shocked that Blackwell is back from Siberia already. Big staredown between both teams.
......]
Paige McGillicutty – Jill Berg then checked in with another PSA.
[......Jill Berg stands in front of a wall.
Jill-Berg - Hi. I'm Jill Berg with a special public service announcement...DID YOU KNOW THAT ADOLESCENTS AND YOUNG ADULTS ARE AT INCREASED RISK FOR A POTENTIALLY DEADLY DISEASE CALLED MENINGOCOCCAL MENINGITIS ?
Johnny Suave - Well? No...
Jill-Berg - NEW VACCINATION RECOMMENDATIONS HAVE RECENTLY BEEN APPROVED FOR TEENS AND COLLEGE STUDENTS WHO ARE AT AN INCREASED RISK FOR CONTRACTING THIS DISEASE. IMMUNIZATION AND GOOD HYGIENE MAY HELP PREVENT MOST CASES IN TEENS AND YOUNG ADULTS.
TALK TO YOUR CHILD’S DOCTOR ABOUT IMMUNIZATION OR VISIT W-W-W- DOT-N-M-A-U-S-DOT-O-R-G.
Berg smiles to the camera.
Jill-Berg - I'm Jill Berg. Remember, I'm not just wrestling for myself. I'm wrestling for the children....]
Paige McGillicutty – Levi Johnston and Bristol Palin’s re-engagement lasted…a few seconds. Johnston appeared in the ring with an explanation.
[.......Levi Johnston in the ring.
Levi Johnston - Okay...I know there's been a lot of speculation about what happened with Bristol and me. I might have gotten someone else pregnant. I might have made a deal for a reality show. The real reason is she couldn't handle the fact that I've decided to...
Suddenly a bunch of cameramen surrounded the ring and started taking taking pictures.
Levi Johnston - ...run for mayor of Wasilla...and have a reality show based on it. Isn't that a good idea?
Johnny Suave - No...not really. And here comes the Mama Grizzly herself, the Alaskan Pitbull, Sarah Palin!
Sarah climbs into the ring with her trusty hockey stick. Johnston backs up.
The crowd roars when Bristol Palin marches to the ring.
Bristol Palin - Mom, I'll take care of this.
Levi Johnston - Now Bristol, let's talk about this...
Bristol takes the hockey stick and drills Johnston in the balls with it......]
Paige McGillicutty – Not a good night for Levi Johnston. Then, Nancy Pelosi, fed up with Jill-Berg’s PSA’s, came out.
[.......Nancy Pelosi tells Jill-Berg that she's tired of her whining and PSA's. So here's what she's going to agree to. Berg will wrestle the Kings of Old School in a handicap match at PCW Lock and Load in two weeks. If Berg wins, Pelosi will consider given her a title shot. If Berg loses, she's out of PCW alltogether.
Suave doesn't think it sounds very fair. But Berg comes out and agrees to the stipulation......]
Paige McGillicutty – Following that, a battle of PCW newcomers.
[......
MATCH #4
Andy Golatta (I)
vs. Jordan Metzger (D)
End Summary ...Metzger with a high crossbody. He covers for 2. Metzger whips Golatta into the ropes and he runs into a nasty superkick to the jaw for another 2. Golatta applies a hammerlock then rams Metzger into the corner. Golatta works on the arm but Metzger somehow delivers a kick to the face. Jabs by Metzger. He tries a kick but Golatta ducks it and unloads with a massive right for 2. Golatta with a whip. Metzger comes off the ropes and lands a somersault kick to the head for 2. Somersault leg drop from the middle rope! 1...2...no! Metzger goes back up top...inverted 450 Leg Drop...FOUL POLE! Golatta covers...1...2...3!!!
Johnny Suave - HOLY CRAP! What did I just see??
The replay shows that just as Metzger came down, Golatta reared back and nailed him with the foul pole right below the belt. Metzger crumpled in half and Golatta scored the easy pin.
WINNER: Andy Golatta @ 11:25
Johnny Suave - Wow! I-ya...that just hurts looking at it......]
Paige McGillicutty – And if things couldn’t get any more bizarre…
[......A pissed off flight attendant marches wearing a wet shirt to the ring.
Johnny Suave - That's JetBlue flight attendant Steve Slater! Why is he here?
Slater climbs into the ring.
Steve Slater - You can all #$@# off! Especially the @#@hole who bumped into me and made me spill my beer! I've had it!
Road Rage Randy (Triple R) (D)
Johnny Suave - OH, OH! HERE COMES TRIPLE R!
Triple R hits the ring and clotheslines Slater. He starts beating the living crap out of him.
Johnny Suave - Makes sense! Triple R would be one of those types who'd pull something out of an overhead bin before the plane came to a complete stop and then be a total ass about it afterwards.
Triple R lifts Slater and heaves him over the top rope. Then he turns to the crowd with his arms up.
Ken Worth- The American Trucker (I)
Johnny Suave - IT'S THE PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION! KEN WORTH- THE AMERICAN TRUCKER!
Worth tackles Triple R and they roll around the ring......]
Paige McGillicutty – Yeah, the Ken W orth-Triple R feud is heating up rather nicely, don’t you think? Those two have a standing date at PCW Lock and Load in two weeks. Next, the Tea Party faced off against one of it’s most vocal enemies, MSNBC.
[......
MATCH #5
Nic Koteen, NRA, and Al Cahall w/the 'Queen of Political Incorrectness' Andrea Doria (Tea Party) vs.
MSNBC: Keith Olbermann, 'Hardball' Chris Matthews, and Rachel Maddow (D)
End Summary
......Everyone is on the floor except Koteen...He launches himself over the top onto everyone! Rachel Maddow tries to fly but misses. Koteen tags in and hits a backbreaker on Maddow. Koteen for the win...he gets a 2 count. Chops in the corner by Koteen. Maddow responds with poke to the eye and tags in 'Hardball' Chris Matthews. Matthews fights back with chops of his own and a big clothesline. He charges...right into a drop toe hold into the turnbuckle by Koteen! NRA tags in for the Tea Party. He takes down Maddow and Olbermann in the corner. Crossbody to Matthews. Cover...1...2...no. Leg kicks by NRA to Matthews. Russian leg sweep followed by a low dropkick by NRA. He covers...Olbermann is in to break it up. Koteen is on the top, Matthews and Maddow superplex him down. NRA and Al Cahall are over...Gun Rack! NRA has Matthews in the Gun Rack but clothesline by Olbermann. Olbermann follows with the Skull-Krushing Finale on Al Cahall! Missile dropkick by Maddow to NRA! Olbermann with a double underhook piledriver to Al Cahall! Olbermann covers! 1...2...3!
WINNER: MSNBC @ 8:54
......]
Paige McGillicutty – And that brings us to our main event. ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott versus Road Rage Randy aka Triple R. Both of these guys have designs on the PCW Title. Scott has actually held the PCW Title. Let’s go to the ring and see how this one turned out.
[.......
MATCH #6
Kevin Scott (R)
vs. Road Rage Randy (D)
End Summary...legdrop by Triple R into the chair! He covers...2 count only. Whip by Triple R...no reverse by Scott but Triple R elbows him. Triple R goes to the top but Scott gets there before he can jump...slam off the top by Scott. Scott grabs the chair...*WHAP* Triple R staggers back...*WHAP* Scott throws down the chair and bulldogs Triple R face first onto it. Scott goes top rope...
Yamamoto Tanaka (D)
Johnny Suave - IT'S THE PCW CHAMPION!
...Tanaka runs down and crotches Scott on the top rope. Tanaka then calls his valet Reika in to hold the chair in front of Scott's face...Van Daminator! Scott falls to the floor. Tanaka and Reika pull Scott back in. Tanaka climbs the corner turnbuckle.
Johnny Suave - HE'S GOING FOR THE JAPANESE SUPERDESTROYER! BUT WAIT!...
Doug 'King Kong' Kingman (R)
Kingman runs to the ring and pushes Tanaka off the top rope. Tanaka and Scott land separately inside the ring. Kingman gets a chair and puts it on Tanaka...leg drop to the chair! Triple R back up. Scott gets a boot up to a charging Triple R at the last possible second. Springboard tornado DDT to the chair by Scott!!! 1...2...3!!!
WINNER: Kevin Scott @ 14:21
Johnny Suave - KEVIN SCOTT IS BACK!
Nancy Pelosi's voice - WAIT A MINUTE! WAAAAAIIIITTTTT A MINUTE!
Johnny Suave - Great. Here comes Nancy Pelosi.
Pelosi and Harry Reid appear.
Nancy Pelosi - Kevin Scott. I suppose you think that because you defeated Triple R tonight that you deserve a title shot against Yamamoto Tanaka at PCW Lock and Load in 2 weeks.
The crowd cheers.
Nancy Pelosi - Well, guess what? You don't. In two weeks, it'll be Average Joe versus the PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka in the Main Event of PCW Lock and Load!
The crowd boos. But Sharron Angle (R) walks out with a piece of paper.
Sharron Angle - Sorry to interrupt you Nancy. But I have something that's of interest to your pal Harry Reid. This piece of paper says that the seventh match to be named for November's PCW Extreme Election Night 2010 is...SHARRON ANGLE VERSUS HARRY REID!
Crowd - RAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Johnny Suave - HOLY CRAP! ANGLE VERSUS REID AT PCW EXTREME ELECTION NIGHT! LOOK AT REID'S FACE!
Posted on June 24, 2010 by Political Championship Wrestling
PCW Loose Cannons Unleashed 6 PPV Report- Part 2
Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon Wauseon, OH Monday June 21st
Host: Paige McGillicutty
Paige McGillicutty
Paige McGillicutty – Paige McGillicutty back as we head to the next match.
MATCH #5 – PCW TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH
Midnite Rockin’ Express: Bobby Ricky Michaels and Marty Gibson-Lane (D)
vs.
Jack and Joe Schmidt (c) w/Jim Schmidt and Hans Gruber- the Extreme German Schnauzer (I- Ron Paul’s New Libertarian Army)
Paige McGillicutty – Just two nights before, the Schmidts and the Midnite Rockin’ Express met at CWC’s Golden Dreams show and had a brief little donnybrook there. Tonight with the PCW Tag Team belts on the line again, could the Midnite Rockers break through? Let’s find out.
[The bell rings...
Huge brawl with all four men in. Jack Schmidt takes out the Midnite Rockers with a suicide dive.
Johnny Suave - Jack Schmidt throws Gibson-Lane over the top rope! Joe has Bobby Ricky Michaels and he's killing him with right hands. Joe whips Michaels into the ropes...double shoulder tackle by The Schmidts!
Jack applies a choke on Michaels. Vertical suplex followed by a cover.
Johnny Suave - One...two...NO! Marty Gibson-Lane makes the save! Joe hits an elbow. Joe misses a double-stomp. Micheals trying to get back into it. He keeps throwing punches...now he hits a shoulder to the gut.
Michaels knocks Joe Schmidt off the apron and tags in Gibson-Lane.
Johnny Suave - Corner clothesline by Gibson-Lane. OH! He just knocked Jack Schmidt off the apron!
Outside, Michaels goes after Jack. Joe is bleeding. Jack hits a crossbody on Gibson-Lane.
Johnny Suave - Jim Schmidt getting involved! They've got Michaels in a bad place...double flapjack on Bobby Ricky Michaels!
Jack and Jim toss Michaels with a back body drop and hit a double superkick on Gibson-Lane.
Johnny Suave - This is really chaotic. Everyone is on the floor except Joe Schmidt.]
Paige McGillicutty – And that was just the beginning. Midway through the match, things heated up even more.
[Charlie Ranck and Pete Fyle race to the ring.
Ranck and Fyle (D)
Johnny Suave - WHAT THE HELL? RANCK AND FYLE HAVE A MATCH COMING UP! THIS CAN'T BE A GOOD IDEA!
Ranck and Fyle double-team Jim Schmidt and throw him into the steel barricade. The crowd roars when their opponents in what's supposed to be the next match, 'No Frills' Chris Escondido and Charlie Blackwell (I) run down and tear into them.
Charlie Blackwell (I)
‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido (I)
Gutwrench suplex on Ranck by Escondido. Knee drop and Blackwell drives Fyle into the bell table. Fyle fights back but Blackwell hits a boot to the face. European Uppercut by Escondido to Ranck. Blackwell chokes Fyle.
Johnny Suave - THIS IS JUST...CHAOS! IT'S LIKE WE'VE GOT TWO MATCHES GOING ON AT THE SAME TIME!]
Paige McGillicutty – Johnny’s word would prove prophetic later on. Blackwell and Escondido would continue to brawl with Ranck and Fyle as the Schmidts/Midnite Rockers match drew to a close…
[Jack Schmidt hits repeated turnbuckle smashes to Michaels! 20 in a row and Michaels is now busted open. Gibson-Lane hits a big boot to Joe and now he pummels him. Jack is in but Michaels gets an O'Connor roll.
Johnny Suave - MICHAELS WITH THE COVER! BUT JACK KICKS OUT!
Michaels whips Jack into a chair held by Gibson-Lane! Gibson-Lane cracks the chair over Jack's head and Michaels pummels him. Michaels chokes Jack on the post with a tag rope!
Johnny Suave - Jack is a bloody pulp! Joe staggers back into the ring. Double team vertical suplex on the way!
Michaels and Gibson-Lane plant Joe with the suplex. Gibson-Lane drags Joe out of the ring.
Johnny Suave - Elbow to the head by Michaels. Jack is in trouble. Michaels and Gibson-Lane throw out Joe. Kick by Michaels to Jack. ROLLING ELBOW! COVER!
Michaels covers. Jack kicks out at two.
Johnny Suave - ONLY 2! FIRE EXTINGUISHER BLAST BY MICHAELS!
Jack's out. Michaels covers. One...two...three.
Johnny Suave - NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!]
WINNER AND NEW PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: The Midnite Rockin’ Express @ 25:30
Paige McGillicutty – But that wasn’t all…after the match, Michaels and Gibson-Lane declared that they would be called ‘The Kings Of Old School. Meanwhile…
[...outside the ring, Escondido has Ranck in a STO while Blackwell lays the boots to Fyle. Trashcan lid shot to Fyle by Blackwell. This is Awesome chants by the fans. Blackwell whips Fyle to the bell table...]
Paige McGillicutty – The referee would call for the bell and the match began.
MATCH #6
‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido and Charlie Blackwell (I)
vs.
Charlie Ranck and Pete Fyle
[...table is still in place.
Johnny Suave - HOLY CRAP! HUGE DOUBLE BIEL TO RANCK THROUGH THE TABLE!
Blackwell drags Ranck to the ring and throws him in.
Johnny Suave - BLACKWELL COVERS. ONE...TWO...THREE!]
WINNER: ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido and Charlie Blackwell @ :44
***CUT TO JUNE 24TH***
MATCH #7 – PCW TITLE MATCH Yamamoto Tanaka (D) w/
Valet: Reika Kisuargi vs.
PCW Champion Average Joe (I-American Heartland Coalition)
Paige McGillicutty – So, after all that, it came down to Tanaka versus Average Joe for the PCW Title. We thought it could be an interesting match. What took place made history. The match finally ended over an hour ago. Let’s take a look at what happened.
NIGHT ONE…
[...lock-up and a headlock by Tanaka.
Johnny Suave - Average Joe slips out. He tries to get a front facelock...stalemate...and the referee calls for the break. Clean break...no, slap to the face by Tanaka!
Average Joe responds with a kick to the head. He gets a headlock, but Tanaka counters to a headscissors. He bridges.
Johnny Suave - TANAKA...NO...TWO COUNT AS AVERAGE JOE SLIPS OUT.
Shoulder tackle by Tanaka. He whips Average Joe into the ropes. Leapfrog by Tanaka and he manages to turn it into a surfboard.
Johnny Suave - AGAIN! ONE...TWO...NO! AVERAGE JOE GETS OUT.]
Paige McGillicutty – Tanaka would press the action on night one but as the night wore on, it was clear that Average Joe’s game plan was to slowly wear out the larger opponent. In theory, a great idea. But as we would see, it would also create the stage for the length of the match. Here’s the end of night one.
[Johnny Suave - Waistlock takedown by Tanaka, more chain wrestling...the match will be suspended in a minute... straightjacket by Tanaka and knees to the back. Average Joe reverses the pressure. Tanaka gets to his feet...a double wristdrag by the former champion.
Armdrag and Tanaka gets a chickenwing.
Johnny Suave - TANAKA FOR THE WIN...NO! TWO COUNT AGAIN!]
Paige McGillicutty – That was night one. Tuesday night, PCW reconvened at Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon and restarted the match at 6 PM. It took the same pattern that night one took. Tanaka pressing and Average Joe trying to survive. Tanaka nearly won it midway through the night.
[Dropkick by Tanaka after rolling to his feet. Tanaka with a slam and tries a stomp. Average Joe avoids. Average Joe ducks under the ropes and goes to the apron. Tanaka hits a dropkick to the ribs and sends Average Joe into the barricade. Hooking clothesline by Reika on the outside! Texas Cloverleaf by Reika!
THUMP
THUMP
THUMP-THUMP-THUMP
THUMP
THUMP
THUMP-THUMP-THUMP
The video screen goes to just outside a dressing room in the back. A police escort is waiting at the door. One of the policemen knocks on the door.
Policeman - Ms. Berg. It’s time.
The door opens and four large male bodybuilding types walk out of the dressing room surrounding a petite woman and her male assistant, Jerry. The woman is busy talking on her cell phone while the man furiously scribbles down notes as the group makes their way towards the ring.
THUMP
THUMP
THUMP-THUMP-THUMP
The procession emerges from the back and starts their way down the ramp. The male assistant has a microphone and a portable tape recorder. He flips it on.
“JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”
The group then continues towards the ring leaving the police escort behind.
“JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”
The four bodyguards assist Ms. Berg into the ring. She and her assistant immediately go to a corner.
“JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”
Berg continues to talk on her cell phone.
“JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”
Suddenly the four bodyguards attack Reika on the floor.
Reika eats a backdrop suplex and a kick to the spine. Another bodyguard decks Reika with a flurry of violent, stiff kicks to the chest.
Corner forearm by Tanaka, forearm by Average Joe, spin kick by Tanaka, enzugiri by Average Joe. Tanaka catches Average Joe coming off the ropes and turns it into a F-5. Tanaka covers. Jill-Berg off the top rope with a missile dropkick with the save.]
Paige McGillicutty – And then 2 hours ago tonight.
[...armdrag and an armbar by Tanaka. Average Joe escapes and whips himself off the ropes. Dropkick attempt fails and Average Joe falls on his face. Dropkick by Tanaka. Average Joe appears out of gas. Tanaka goes top rope and drags Average Joe along. He sets...Super Japanese Destroyer! Finally...one...two...three.
WINNER AND NEW PCW CHAMPION: Yamamoto Tanaka @ 11 hours, seven minutes.
Postmatch, Big Oil, Big Electric, and Kirk Walstreit attack an exhausted Tanaka and lay him out. Sports Entertainment Genius Mr. McMann, accompanied by Linda McMahon (R) struts out and it's clear that the Corporation of Domination will be a force to be reckoned with when PCW reconvenes in August.
