PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN Recap
Thursday July 26th, 2012
Red Brand Show- Hour 1
The Red Brand rolled into the Queen City tonight and Kim Kardashian of all people started the show in the ring. The Cincinnati crowd booed her causing the reality show star to snap, “I’m more famous than Jennifer Aniston, Angelina Jolie and Gwyneth Paltrow combined.”
I made a huge mistake and wasted my time marrying that no name and I’ll fix that by marrying Kanye. Besides, if Angelina Jolie can marry an A-lister then so can I!”
The crowd stood as the phenomenon known as Jill-Berg appeared on the video screen.
One of the policemen knocked on the door.
Policeman: “Ms. Berg. It’s time.”
The door opened and four large male bodybuilding types walked out of the dressing room with Jill Berg- busy talking on her cell phone while her assistant furiously scribbled down notes
Kardashian looked pissed as the procession emerged from the back and started down the ramp.
Her assistant flipped on a portable tape recorder, “JILLLLL-BERG…JILLLLL-BERG…”
The processed then entered the ring. Kardashian took a step over and Jill Berg took her head off with a Buzzsaw Kick.
The crowd rose and gave Berg a standing ovation.
The other highlight from the Red show saw PCW Red Brand Champion Yamamoto Tanaka (R) defend the title against long time PCW stalwart and the ‘Original Rookie Sensation’ Starz N. Stripes.
Mitt Romney (R-MA) was not on hand tonight as he was busy in London pissing off British PM David Cameron with his critique of the Brit’s preparation for the 2012 Olympics. So it was Tanaka and Starz with the Red belt on the line. Who would leave the champion?
…Tanaka puts Starz on the turnbuckle- belly-to-belly superplex. Tanaka for the win…1…2…NO! He throws the Original Rookie Sensation out of the ring. Starz tries to get up…HE’S DECKED BY CORPORATE MIGHT’S BIG OIL!
Suave: “Guess who still has the backing of the Republican Establishment?”
Tanaka again climbs to the top rope- falling splash on Starz. Tanaka goes back up a second time- ANOTHER FALLING SPLASH! Big Oil gets involved- OKLAHOMA DRILLER ON THE FLOOR!. Tanaka waves Big Oil away and rolls Starz back into the ring. Tanaka drags him up to the top rope…JAPANESE SUPERDESTROYER! The ref starts the count. …1 …2 …3
So if there was any question about Tanaka continuing on as PCW Red Brand Champion after PCW CEO Barack Obama (D-IL) hammered Romney for ‘outsourcing the Red belt,’ it was answered tonight with Tanaka’s victory.
“We are holding an Olympic Games in one of the busiest, most active, bustling cities anywhere in the world. Of course, it’s easier if you hold an Olympic Games in the middle of nowhere.”
In the other match from the Red Brand hour:
-Brian King of the Main Street Mafia def. ‘Sparkly Vampire’ Eddie Collen.
Even in defeat, Collen’s legions of prepubescent female fans flocked around him and followed him backstage. Collen seemed to enjoy the attention but still asked out loud in back:
Say, is there anyone in the group who’s above the age of eighteen? Anyone?
Salt Lake City Mayor Ralph Becker (D-UT) chimed in on the whole Romney-Britain with this response to David Cameron:
I would gladly educate Cameron on all Salt Lake City has to offer, even providing a map “so he doesn’t run into any trouble locating the middle of nowhere.”
Blue Brand Show- Hour 2
Up the road in Toledo, Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) bragged to the Democrats on hand who she was trying to entice into contributing to the DCCC, that Code Pink (D) was going to ‘glitter bomb’ her way to the combined title.
Pelosi personally booked the match herself earlier in the week but would quickly realize that she had a problem when PCW Television Champion Dawn McGill, Women’s Champion Miss USA, and Ted E. Dangerously all appeared on a split screen with her- from the old ECW Arena in South Philadelphia, PA.
Pelosi angrily demanded to know why McGill and Miss USA weren’t there for the big match with several Democrats in the audience as special guests.
McGill told Pelosi and Code Pink to relax. Pelosi scolded Ted for being there when he’s suspended. Ted responded that he’s there to have their backs.
And let me tell you, they’re beautiful backs if you know what I mean!
McGill said this whole charade that Pelosi booked was for one thing- to get the belts off them and put it on a Democrat to make herself look good. Pelosi disputed her allegation. McGill told her that if they want a shot at the title they can come to one of the PCW Independent shows this weekend and try to get it.
Ted then brought out a six pack of beer and shared a drink with McGill.
The Eastern Powers: Foo Qu of China and Russian Sergei Sardominov attacked PCW Blue Brand Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) in the back and laid him out- putting Chism’s title defense against Triple R (D) in jeopardy.
But Triple R came out and said everyone has mistaken him for someone who gives a crap! Triple R then added that all the fat, out of shape, Lauderdale losers to give their utmost respect to the next PCW Blue Brand Champion- “ME!”
There was a huge row in the back about whether or not the match should take place. PCW Executive Committee Chief Harry Reid (D-NV) and Nancy Pelosi emerged and announced to the crowd that the match was on.
PCW Blue Brand Title Match: ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (c) vs. Triple R
…Both men back in. NO! It’s the Green World Order!
‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee! GreenPete! Radishing Rick Rube- Agronomist! PeaceNick! Peta from PETA! Lee and GreenPete pull Chism out of the ring and doubleteam whip the champion over the barricade right into the crowd! Radishing Rick busts a flower pot over Chism’s head and then the GWO return Chism to the ring.
Chism’s valets, the Skanky Rich Bimboes (Kim and Kourtney) rush the ring and gets dumped with a dual shoulder-breaker by Lee and GreenPete.
Moonsault by Triple R. He covers for the academic pinfall.
So, Triple R won one for the Democratic activists and is the NEW PCW Blue Brand Champion.
In other match results from the Blue Brand show:
-Paddy O’Kennedy defeated Entitlement Eric w/Extreme Plaintiff Attorneys Felcher and Felcher.
Felcher vowed to go to court to overturn O’Kennedy’s pin because PCW needs to “redistribute” the success of winning by allowing Entitlement Eric his opportunity to win after losing his last match.
R Felcher, Extreme Plaintiff Attorney:
“PCW should make sure that in every competition it is about Fairness Only, it should have nothing to do with Ability.”
PCW Shows This Weekend:
PCW Red Brand Shows:
Saturday- Greensboro, NC
Sunday- Richmond, VA
PCW Blue Brand Shows:
Saturday- Philadelphia, PA
Sunday- Trenton, NJ
PCW Independent Shows:
Saturday- Johnstown, PA
Sunday- Elmira, NY
Filed under: 2012 Election, Average Joe, Barack Obama, Blogs- Pro Wrestling, democrats, Independents, joe six pack, Joe the Plumber, political satire, political wrestling, Politics, Pro Wrestling, red state, republicans, Small Town America, Third Party, wordpress political blogs Tagged: | Angelina Jolie, code pink, David Cameron, Jill Berg, Miss USA, Mitt Romney, Nancy Pelosi, Olympic Games